The Secret Life of the American Teenager s03e25 Episode Script
To Be…
Previously on The Secret Life of the American Teenager We're getting married Friday night.
But we should be back to school bright and early Monday morning.
Can't let a little thing like a wedding keep us from school.
No, or a baby.
Are you actually asking me if Mom's seeing someone? She's seeing Josh.
Isn't she? Oh, Dad, don't do this.
I really want you to go to my friend's wedding with me.
I don't want to go.
Why? Do you think I might get ideas? About marriage? I need you to go to the wedding with me.
How many dinners and fundraisers and events have you dragged me to over the years? As I recall, you always said, "Maybe I'll meet someone.
" And maybe I did.
I never realized how much I love you and how much I wanted to be with you.
What made you realize that? Your dad? Yeah.
'Cause he likes me better than Grace.
So do I.
You didn't tell me you got into a college.
You had pictured the three of us living above the butcher shop while I worked and you went to school? I can adjust that picture.
We are gathered here today to join Ben and Adrian in holy matrimony.
I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
You know, Mr.
Boykewich, what I was thinking we could do, after you get home from the butcher shop and we go to Dr.
Attavi's office-- we can go by the market and get some steaks and then try the grill on the patio.
What do you think? Oh, I think it's 4:30, and it's too early, and you need your sleep, Mrs.
Boykewich.
I can't sleep.
I'm uncomfortable.
I'm getting more uncomfortable by the minute.
He said for you to lie on your left side.
I was, but I'm not comfortable on my left side.
I'm tired of my left side.
My right side's no good, and I don't have another side, so I sat up.
Well, short of giving birth immediately, what do you think might help? Because until you're comfortable, I have a feeling I'm not going to be comfortable, so I'd be willing to do just about anything.
You name it.
I don't know.
Maybe when we go see Dr.
Attavi today, he can suggest something.
Oh, maybe I could call Amy.
Maybe she could be useful for once.
At 4:30? You think she's up? Maybe with John? She could be up.
I doubt it.
But I'm up now, so what can I do for you? You hungry? You must be hungry.
You woke up thinking about steaks.
Which, by the way, I'll bring home from the butcher shop.
You want some breakfast? Do we have breakfast food? We do.
We have eggs and milk and bread.
I think I can do something with that that would be edible.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thanks.
I'd love some breakfast.
As long as it doesn't make us late for school.
We have a few hours.
Thank you, Husband.
You're welcome, Wife.
Falling in love Is such an easy thing to do Birds can do it We can do it Let's stop talking, Let's get to it Let's fall in love And you thought this would be a good idea because? Because they're trying to do what they think is right, and I think that's honorable, and I think we should all support them.
Mm-hmm.
See, they should've thought about doing the right thing when they were doing the wrong thing.
Now, I could support that.
Yeah, but they-- Yeah, me, too.
Really, what are these girls thinking? That that's a way to get a guy to marry them-- by getting pregnant? It's like we're rewarding them for doing something stupid, Kaitlyn.
Uh, excuse me.
I'm sorry.
I just need to get into the band room.
I apologize.
We weren't talking about you.
We were talking about-- Girls in high school who get pregnant and get married.
Yeah, that's not me.
I'm not getting married.
For the record, I hardly knew Ricky when we got pregnant, and I'm just starting to get to know him now.
So I really wasn't trying to do anything when we got pregnant.
I wasn't trying to get him to be my husband or my boyfriend or anything like that.
You don't have to explain anything to me.
No, no.
I want to explain it to you.
And you can explain it to other people, because I am tired of explaining it.
You seem upset.
Is-- Is it because of the banner that I put up? Does it bother you that Ben and Adrian are now married, and you and Ricky are not married? Why should it? As Adrian pointed out long ago, Ricky will probably never wanna get married.
What about you? Do you wanna get married? I mean, right now in high school? Doesn't matter what I want.
I think it matters.
I told you, Ricky doesn't wanna get married.
You never know.
No.
You never know.
But, of course, if he goes away to school, then the chances are probably greater that he and I won't get married.
At least that's how I see it.
Yeah, the interview went really well.
Thanks a lot.
We're late! Hey, we're late for our very first day at school as a married couple.
I know.
I'm sorry, but you looked so tired, and, well, I'm tired, and I don't think anyone really expected us to be on time.
I did.
Yeah, me, too.
I'll call the counselors' office and tell them we'll be there.
I'm sure it'll be fine.
Do you want something to eat? Uh, what is that? It's a loco moco.
It's hamburger, fried egg, and gravy over rice.
No.
I think I'm just gonna go grab a shower, okay? And get out of here.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let me just finish up breakfast, and then I'll go get in the shower, and I'll get dressed, and then I'll do my hair and makeup, and then we can go.
Um, are we carpooling? We're going to the same school.
Yeah, but I have to go to the butcher shop after school.
I know.
But you can drop me off.
Okay.
But I think I may be ready to go to school before you're ready.
I doubt it.
You usually take longer than I do, Husband.
And besides, it's our first day as a married couple.
I wanna go together.
Whatever you want.
I'll go get started.
What's going on? Hey, where's Lauren? I don't know.
But I doubt she took out her phone during class and looked at it.
I can do that because of John, but it's against the rules, as is hanging out in the bathroom during class.
What's the emergency? I wanted to tell you something face-to-face, and this is where I wanted to tell you.
In the bathroom? Yeah.
I mean, we have so many memories in this place.
Oh, no.
No, she hasn't had time to get pregnant.
But, oh, no.
What "oh, no"? Did you have sex? Why is it "oh, no" if I had sex? It wouldn't be "oh, no" if Amy had sex.
Did you? I don't wanna know.
I did.
Oh, uh When? Last weekend when Ben and Adrian were getting married.
Oh.
Bad timing.
Well, how was it? It was pretty interesting.
So interesting that you waited three days to tell us? Well, I'm not Amy.
I didn't wait, like, weeks or months or years to tell you.
It was weeks, not months or years.
Tell us.
How was it? Uh, pretty interesting.
You said that.
Is that code for "bad"? It was bad? No, it wasn't bad.
It was-- Don't say "pretty interesting" again.
Very emotional? Emotional? Like, emotional in a good way or emotional in a bad way? During or after? Yeah, after.
We were just laying there all warm and cozy, in the blankets, snuggled up next to each other.
And I think I saw Jack shed a tear or two.
Or more.
Um, yeah.
He said it was sweat, but I'm pretty sure those were tears.
Okay.
I have to give it to you, that is pretty interesting.
Mm-hmm.
Jack cried.
Jack.
I told you.
Pretty interesting.
Guys are allowed to cry.
I'm sure he was just overwhelmed with his feelings for you.
I'm not so sure about that.
What else would he be crying about? I don't know.
I tried to find out.
I asked him what he was thinking, and he just kept saying, "I love you.
" That's a good thing, isn't it? It didn't seem like he was telling me because he loves me.
It seemed like he was telling me to avoid telling me something else.
And I kept asking him what he was thinking, and he kept saying, "I love you.
" And I would say, "I love you, too.
" And, you know, then he wouldn't say anything.
So I'd wait a little bit, and then I'd ask him.
I'd say, "What are you thinking now?" And he would just say he loves me.
And that's all he ever really said.
Don't look at me.
You've had sex.
I haven't.
I've only done it one more time than you, and the same number of times as Madison.
Yeah.
I've got a feeling neither one of you are really gonna be able to help me with this.
You're late.
Yeah, you know, my dad was here to marry Adrian and Ben.
He just left this morning.
I'm sorry, Coach.
I'm sorry, too.
You'll be making up the time with a few laps after practice.
I didn't have the best weekend.
And now you're off to a bad week.
I don't like late.
Athletes are supposed to be role models for the other students.
Role models aren't late.
My dad gave me some bad advice.
He told you to be late for school? He told me to break up with Madison.
I don't know that that's bad advice.
It probably wasn't, but it kind of backfired.
I was gonna break up with her, but it went another way.
You know that for every minute you delay going through that door and I have to listen to this, that's another lap around the field? Yeah, I know, but I had sex with Madison.
It was a mistake.
You've made that mistake before.
In fact, you've made that mistake a few times.
Yeah, but in the past, that mistake really didn't mean anything.
I mean, this is Madison.
She thinks sex means, you know, marriage one day.
And I thought I might marry her one day, but I changed my mind.
Not at the best time.
To explain it in terms you would understand, the first half of the game I was playing offense, and the second half I was playing defense.
I should've called the game off at halftime.
I just-- I didn't wanna hurt her feelings.
And now I'm stuck with her for the rest of my life.
You're not married to her, and you don't have children with her, so you don't have to stay with her.
What kind of role model is that? Just get to class, Pappas.
Hey.
I was hoping I'd run into you.
Here are your keys.
You're welcome.
Oh, I would've thanked you, but it didn't turn out that well.
I don't wanna know.
I don't know what I was thinking.
No, I know what I was thinking.
I was thinking about breaking up with Madison and never seeing her again.
And that made me wanna see her again in the worst way.
I don't wanna know.
I knew it was a mistake halfway into it.
I just felt bad about the whole thing.
It felt good, but I felt bad.
Has that ever happened to you? Yeah, that's never happened to me before, either.
Afterwards, she kept saying, "What are you thinking?" And I hate that.
I really hate that.
I didn't know what I was supposed to say, so I just kept telling her I love her.
"What are you thinking?" "I love you.
" "I love you, too.
What are you thinking now?" "I love you.
" "I love you, too.
What are you thinking now?" On and on and on and How could I tell her that what I was thinking was that we really shouldn't have done it? Because maybe I'm not really in love with her.
At least not enough to spend the rest of my life with her.
At least I don't know that yet.
Don't ever ask to borrow the apartment again, all right? Yeah.
Okay, we really have to get to class.
I know.
I just I don't feel like it.
I'm so confused.
I can't pay attention in class.
I don't wanna have to break up with Jack just because sex isn't what I expected.
I-- I don't know.
He just-- He told me he loves me too many times, but I feel weird now.
I just-- I don't know if I wanna be around him anymore.
You can.
You can break up with him if you want.
Don't stay with him just because you had sex.
You don't have to do that.
You don't even have to stay with him if you have a baby with him.
Oh.
No offense, Amy.
It just slipped out.
I was talking about Adrian and Ben.
Yeah.
Whatever.
I'm used to it.
Madison, you don't have to break up with Jack.
Maybe the second time will be better.
And maybe it won't for either of you.
I know that, Lauren.
I know that.
But I don't wanna break up with Ricky.
I love him.
And I think that you might love Jack.
So give him some time.
It's okay to take some time when making a decision.
Maybe you need some more time, but I don't know if I need more time.
I kind of feel like part of the problem is we spent so long thinking about having sex that when we finally got around to it, it was anticlimactic.
And that's what it was for me, literally, if you know what I mean.
Yeah? Well, guess what.
That's not uncommon for girls having sex for the first time.
You knew this, and you waited until now to tell me? Maybe you should spend more time reading.
What is with you today? You sound so-- Angry.
Did we do something? Yeah.
You two have ruined sex for me.
I don't even know if I would have sex if I were married right now.
Wait.
Where did you two do it anyways? Grace's guest house? 'Cause I thought Jack's dad was staying with him.
Yes, he-- he was.
Um, Ricky let us use his place.
What? You knew about that, right? They're here! They're here.
They're here! Adrian and Ben just pulled into the parking lot.
They're here.
Everybody come out! They're coming.
Okay.
Adrian is gonna love this.
There you go.
Wanna throw some rice? They missed this at their actual wedding.
They had a small wedding.
Just family.
Doesn't rice kill birds? Isn't that why they stopped throwing rice at weddings? We're inside.
I think it's okay.
Not if a bird eats it and its stomach swells up and it explodes.
We're inside.
It's a bird-free environment.
Isn't it supposed to be wrapped in a little net thing? I have a life, okay? All I had time to do was get the rice.
Just try to enjoy this.
It's a-- It's a wedding reception.
Not really.
Here's some rice.
When they get here, throw it in the hallway.
It is not her fault.
Jack just asked Ricky for the key.
Ricky's the one that gave it to him.
Why should Jack even ask him for a key or to use his apartment? I don't ask Ricky to use his apartment, and I don't have a key.
Well, I'm sure he gave it back, so maybe you could get that one.
Obviously Ricky doesn't want Amy to have a key or he'd give her one.
It's his place.
It's not their place.
Don't start.
I expected them to be talking about me-- me and Madison-- but, uh, I think they're talking about you.
Or you and Amy.
I don't know why I came out here for this.
Yeah, me neither.
I-- I can't believe it.
You two did it in Ricky's bed? I'm your best friend.
You've slept in my bed.
I've slept in your bed.
You haven't had sex in my bed.
No, but I'm certainly not the first girl to have sex in Ricky's bed.
I mean, Ricky had sex with Adrian in that bed.
What? Come on.
You knew that.
Hey, you.
Hey.
I feel le we're at an underage wedding.
Like we're doing something illegal.
Yeah, it is kind of weird.
A married couple in high school.
It's like last weekend just won't ever end.
It just goes on and on and What? Amy's in a bad mood.
I'll tell you why later.
No, you won't.
I'm going to class.
Fine.
Me, too.
No.
Wait.
Don't leave.
They're coming.
Just be patient.
I think this may be a false alarm.
No, I swear.
They're coming.
Here.
Oh, my God, is everyone here for me? I mean, us? Everyone, welcome Mr.
and Mrs.
Ben Boykewich back to school.
Hey, watch it.
Eyes.
Watch it.
Thank you.
Thank you, everyone.
This is so nice of you.
I love you.
Wow.
Thank you.
Um, you're all invited to our place.
No, no, no.
No, they're not.
No, this is all very nice, but you can't come over.
Hey.
Hey! Ow! That hurt.
That's what married people do.
They have people over.
You know, I don't think married people in high school do that.
Not when they're having a baby.
Agh! Knock it off! Who the hell came up with this rice idea? It wasn't me.
I swear.
Okay, everyone.
Show's over.
Back to class.
Just a minute, sir.
That your girlfriend, pal? Yeah, that's my girlfriend.
Then this is your broom.
Clean it up.
I don't know why you're so upset.
I'm the one who should be upset.
If Ricky hadn't loaned us his bed or-- I mean, his apartment-- then Jack and I wouldn't have done it, and we'd still be together.
You know, not together together, but we'd still wanna be together together, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
And it's okay.
You really didn't do anything.
Oh, no, we did.
It's just-- It wasn't-- I know.
Oh, my God.
Look at this.
It's so cute.
That is cute.
Today's almost better than our real wedding day.
I loved our wedding day.
Me, too.
But I kind of like all the attention, you know? Yeah, I know.
I gotta get to class.
Okay.
I love you, Mrs.
Boykewich.
And I love you, Mr.
Boykewich.
Oh.
I gotta put you on hold.
Someone is parked in my parking spot.
Really? Would I make that up? So what'd you do with your car? I parked behind whoever parked in my spot.
I wanna know who it is.
I will find out.
Hey, do you have any idea when Mike is coming back, so you don't have to, you know, worry about this stuff? I would assume when Betty's coming back.
And when is that? I don't know.
I tried calling her last night.
I can't get her on the phone.
She never charges the damn thing.
Uh-huh.
And what does Mike say? That she's with her family.
Is that all he says? Just say what you wanna say.
What do you know that I don't? No, just that he's been driving her sisters around a lot.
She has two sisters.
I know that.
He says they've been fighting over him.
And I would care about that because? I just wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't come back.
What? Yeah.
I mean, you know Mike.
He doesn't get out a lot except with you.
I think he's kind of enjoying himself.
Well, he better not be enjoying himself too much.
He better be looking after Betty.
Well, Mike told me that Betty's mom has, um, brightened.
What the hell does that mean? I don't speak Idahoan.
I don't know.
Never mind what it means.
I wanna know when my wife is coming home.
Nobody's dying.
Her mom's not dying.
She was dying last Friday night, and Betty couldn't come to the wedding.
But now she's not dying.
I don't know.
I mean, maybe her mom brightened but is still in jeopardy.
Who we keeping on hold? Oh.
Um, that is no one.
I will take care of him.
Him who? George.
George-- George Juergens? Mm-hmm.
George, sorry we kept you on hold so long.
What's going on? Everything okay? I'm sorry.
I have the wrong number.
What the heck was that? Uh, that was a personal call.
What? He wasn't calling you.
He was calling me.
Why would he be calling you? Maybe I finally met someone at a wedding.
I met George when we were leaving the wedding.
I was outside waiting for you, and he was walking his dog, and he's nice, and he's cute.
You can't go out with him.
He's-- He's-- He's not someone you should be out with.
And why is that? Because-- Because he knows me.
You can't go out with people who know me.
That-- That's-- That's company policy.
No, it's not.
Well, it is now.
And I wanna speak to my wife.
Try and find my wife, will you, instead of making personal phone calls? I mean, what is wrong with people? Hello? Hi.
Sorry about that.
I should've given you my home number.
Don't you have a cell number? Give me your cell number.
No, it's too early for that.
Okay, um, maybe I can get it tonight at dinner.
Wanna go to dinner? We can swap numbers over a nice big steak? Well, I don't really know what time I'll get outta here.
I can wait.
Call me when you're leaving.
Okay.
Talk to you later.
Who was that? That was an age-appropriate straight woman that I'm very attracted to and have a date with tonight.
Oh, good.
Good for you.
And you don't have to keep it a secret.
You can tell your mother.
No, I don't wanna get in the middle of anything.
Go ahead.
Get in the middle.
No, thanks.
Come on.
No.
I need to talk to someone about a medical problem.
Like a friend? We're not friends.
I don't have a friend.
I was thinking someone more like a doctor.
I'm hardly a doctor.
I just went to med camp.
That's the extent of my medical training.
It's not that complicated a question.
Camp training may do it.
Maybe if it were about a friend.
I don't wanna know anything too personal about you.
I don't mind knowing about your friends.
Okay.
Yeah.
It was a friend.
A friend of mine was having sex with Madison Darn.
No, not Madison.
Uh, another friend.
Yeah.
A friend of mine was having sex with another friend, and he knew it was wrong, but he didn't realize it until the middle of everything, and then he tried stopping, but then his body just took over his brain, and then it was too late, and lives are now ruined.
Your question is? Is there any medical reason that my friend could use to explain to Madison-- I mean, the other friend? Explain what? Why he couldn't just, you know, stop when the game was in motion? A medical reason? Yeah.
No, I don't think so.
Maybe you should talk to someone who went to shrink camp.
Why is that? Physically, I think you could stop anytime.
If she had said "stop," you would've stopped, right? Of course.
If she would've told me to stop, that would've been fine.
If I stopped and-- that would've just been rude, and it would've hurt her feelings.
It was her first time.
It could've caused her to be a psychological mess when it comes to sex in the future.
Not unlike yourself.
Yeah.
Look, Jack, this is way too personal for you to be talking to me about.
Talk to Madison.
You need to talk to Madison.
I'm not your friend.
I'm your ex-girlfriend's boyfriend.
This is not healthy for either of us.
And, frankly, you're an idiot to be telling other people about this stuff.
I can't help it.
I don't know what to do.
I was hoping someone would just tell me what to do.
Just telling me to talk to Madison-- that's-- that's something.
That's some advice I can take at least.
Okay, well, do that.
You know, we could be friends.
I'm not interested in Grace anymore.
Well, you're not interested in Madison anymore either, so you could come back around to Grace.
You seem to change your mind a lot.
'Cause I'm confused about Madison.
I'm gonna go grab a broom and help you finish up here, and we can maybe talk some more until I get clear in my head what I should do? Maybe you should just go do some thinking on your own, and I can take care of this.
I insist, all right? I'll be right back.
Hi.
You let Madison and Jack have sex in your bed? I just let him borrow the apartment because he wanted some privacy.
I don't know anything about any of the other stuff.
What? She's your best friend.
I figured you knew her boyfriend asked to borrow my apartment.
Well, I didn't.
Well, it is my apartment.
Yeah, it is your apartment and it is your bed.
And if you want me in your apartment and you want me in your bed, then you need to get a new bed.
Because Jack and Madison were in my bed? And Adrian.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
Adrian.
Of course.
Everything goes back to Adrian.
I'm not going to have sex in your bed that you slept in with Adrian and other girls.
I'm not.
I'm just not.
Fine.
What about the couch? Are you gonna sit on the couch? I sat on the couch with other girls.
Should I get a new couch? What about the chairs? Should I get new chairs, too? I don't know, kid.
Sounds like she really wants you.
She really wants you bad.
No, doesn't sound like that at all.
She's got excuse after excuse after excuse.
And I'm tired of it.
I'm tired of her.
She's a big baby.
Who's the big baby? It's like you're stomping your feet and insisting you get some.
It makes you less attractive, as a man.
I'm not doing that.
You kind of are.
I mean, so, I hate to take sides with Amy, but she kind of has a point about that bed.
You've been in that bed with 100 girls, plus your best friend, plus Adrian.
It makes it kind of icky, you know? You got the dough to buy a new bed.
Just buy a new bed.
What, just so I can have sex with her when she has no interest in having sex with me? Maybe it's not the bed.
Maybe that's not the reason she's not sleeping with you.
Maybe she's saying it's the bed, but it's really something else.
What else would it be? I don't know.
All I know is that girl loves you.
She really, really loves you.
Well, maybe she just doesn't want her special night with you to be in that nasty old bed up there.
It's not even my bed.
It's the Boykewiches' bed.
People probably died in it.
All the reason to buy a new bed.
I don't know what happened to me.
It used to be that I could just have sex and not even think about it.
Now it's like conquering the world.
It takes planning and resources and strategies and begging.
You know, I'm practically begging her at this point.
Yeah, stop with that, okay? Just, like, take a step back.
Let her come to you.
It's gonna be so much better if she comes to you.
Yeah.
I think she might've mentioned something like that.
Is that what happened with you and Ollie? You let her come to you? Um, that's a no.
Uh, yeah, it was kind of, uh, the other way around with us.
Uh, she, um, let me come to her.
Oh.
I didn't know-- yeah-- how that works in your relationship with her.
Yeah, that's kind of how Maybe it was getting into college.
Maybe that's it, you know? That-- That's why Amy's not doing anything.
Because she can't say she doesn't want you to go to college.
I mean, she wants you to go to college, but you two haven't done anything yet, and you're already leaving her.
I'm not leaving her.
I'm not leaving anyone.
I'm gonna try to get into some other schools, and if I don't, she can come with me.
You, too.
And Ollie? Whoever wants to come.
I don't care.
I just wanna be with Amy and John.
That's it.
That is it.
That'll do it.
What's for dinner? Ugh! I'm starving.
I'm not.
Mmm.
I smell something good.
That's me.
Well, something's obviously cooking in the oven, but you do smell good.
And you look like we're going out to dinner.
Are we going out to dinner? I don't wanna go out to dinner, Dad.
I'm tired, I have a lot of homework, and I got in a fight with Ricky today.
Oh, no.
Another big fight with Ricky? I hope that doesn't delay moving in again.
I made your mom's lasagna.
It's got about another five minutes.
Now that you're home, you can take it out of the oven for me.
Or I could use that extra five minutes to grab a shower, and you could take it out of the oven just like you would've done if I hadn't just come in the door.
Wait.
Are you going out without us? I am.
I am going out without you.
I am going out on a date.
With? No.
No, not that woman you trapped when you were walking the dog.
Not Leo's assistant.
You cannot go out with her.
Yes, I can.
No, you can't.
Dad, if you go out with her, you're gonna tell her what I'm doing and what I'm thinking, and then she's gonna tell Leo, and Leo's gonna tell Ben, and Ben is gonna tell Adrian, and I will have no privacy whatsoever, and neither will Leo.
No one has had any privacy since the information highway opened.
The what? The Internet.
Please don't call it the information highway.
It makes you sound so-- Old? I may be getting old, but I'm feeling young tonight.
See you.
Good night, John.
Good night.
I hope you have a great time.
No, you don't.
Bye.
No, I don't.
Did I just hear Dad leave? Yeah.
Did you know that he had a date? Oh, does he? Oh.
You knew.
Who are you texting that Dad's out of the house? Toby? Mom.
What? So where did he meet her? She went with Leo to Ben and Adrian's wedding last weekend.
George bumped into her on the sidewalk and then struck up a conversation while he was out walking Moose.
Actually, he was walking Moose up and down the sidewalk, hoping that she'd come out of the house.
Wow.
Got all the details.
Yep.
She's a tall, skinny, good-looking blonde.
He likes blondes.
His first wife was blonde.
Do you really wanna know all this? It's their first date.
It could be their last.
She's never been married before.
What's that mean? It means there's a pretty good chance there'll be a second date.
So, what, you thought George wouldn't be dating? Are you kidding? He dated when we were married.
Are-- Are wedating? Yeah, I guess we are.
Are we dating just each other, or are we dating other people? Am I dating other people? Is that what you're asking? That's what I'm asking.
Because? Because I wasn't ready for you in high school, but I'm ready for you now.
And if you're ready to take this relationship seriously, so am I.
I don't know if I'm ready to take this relationship seriously.
It's one of the things I enjoy about being with you is that you're not serious.
No, I am.
This is me being serious.
Look, I haven't dated anybody more than once or twice since I split from my ex.
And I think at this age, we both know right now if we could be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Who knew a trip to the doctor's office would turn into a shopping trip? Thank you.
Yeah, it was fun.
And, hey, we needed everything on that list for the hospital.
We wanna be ready.
Oh, I'm ready.
Yeah, well, you have at least four more weeks.
I don't know if I could wait four more weeks.
All of a sudden, I just feel huge.
Yeah, well, you're beautiful huge.
Mmm, thank you, Husband.
You're welcome, Wife.
It's weird, isn't it-- being married and living in a condo and having a baby in high school? Way weird.
It's actually kind of scary.
Yeah.
A little.
But thank you for dinner.
That dinner was unbelievable.
Maybe you'll sleep better tonight.
You didn't eat much yesterday.
I think that's why you woke up so early.
Yeah.
Maybe.
I do feel like I can go to bed and sleep for a while.
It's 8:00.
Yeah, but all of a sudden, I'm feeling really tired.
Can we put the stuff away tomorrow? Yeah.
I'll put it in the nursery for now.
Okay.
I just wanna lay down.
I don't think you should be friends with Jack.
You're friends with Madison.
Yeah, well-- And you might as well be friends with Jack.
He lives here, so-- So? I don't wanna be friends with my old boyfriend.
You're not friends with your old girlfriend.
You're not, right? Not close friends.
I still hear from her once in a while.
What? Yeah, I get a text once in a while.
No big deal.
What are you talking about? I don't know.
Do you talk to her? What do you mean? I mean, does she call you? Do you take her calls? Do you call her? Does she take your calls? You know what I mean.
Grace, I was her first.
She was my first.
We have that bond.
We're friends.
I wouldn't wanna not be friends with her.
Well, I would want you to not be friends with her.
She likes you.
Where does she get off liking me? She doesn't even know me.
I don't like her.
I didn't think I'd like Jack, but he's okay.
I just never talked to him before.
You should meet Angie.
I don't want to.
Okay.
Are you trying to break up with me? No.
Well, are you trying to get me to break up with you? No.
I love you.
Okay, well, it just seems like someone's breaking up with someone.
Yeah, but not either of us, I hope.
Well, this feels very grown-up.
You know? And very civil.
Yeah, it does.
So you said you wanted to talk to me.
Yeah, I wanna talk to you.
I just don't really know what to say.
Yeah, I don't really know what to say either.
Are you breaking up with me? Over sex? Okay, I'm just gonna come out and say it.
It really wasn't what I was expecting.
I didn't feel like, you know, you were really into it.
You wouldn't talk to me afterwards.
I don't care how many times you told me that you love me.
I really didn't feel like you love me.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
For what? For having sex with you.
I was gonna break up with you, but then I changed my mind.
You were gonna break up with me right after having sex with me? No.
No, no, no.
Before.
Before.
I was gonna go out with you, Oh.
and then talk to you and tell you that I didn't wanna go out with you anymore, but that only made me think I wanted you even more, so I wanted to have sex.
But then, in the middle, I wanted to stop having sex because it felt wrong.
Not that having sex is wrong or anything.
I just felt it was wrong for me at that time.
And I hate saying that.
And I don't wanna hurt your feelings or anything or make you cry.
Oh, well, I'm not crying.
I'm not crying now, and I wasn't crying after we did it.
Okay, well, I shed a tear or two.
Why? Because I love you.
I really love you, but sex isn't right for the two of us right now.
No, it's not.
I'm so sorry.
I feel like I ruined our relationship.
Me, too.
Okay, I-- I don't wanna do anything.
My-- My parent's are gone.
But they just went to dinner.
They're gonna be back in a minute.
And I-- I don't wanna do it again.
I wasn't thinking that.
Well, are you thinking you wanna break up or-- No.
I was thinking I think it's kind of funny that you don't know that I don't like to be asked what I'm thinking all the time.
Well, I wouldn't ask you if you'd tell me.
Okay.
I'll tell you what I'm thinking.
I'm gonna tell you what I'm thinking, but I don't know if you're gonna like it or not.
I don't have to like it.
Just tell me what you're thinking for once.
Jeez, Jack.
I think that just because we had sex once doesn't mean we have to have sex ever again.
Maybe not ever.
Maybe in a few years.
But why can't we just see what dating is like without having any kind of sex at all? You know, we could maybe make out once in a while, and-- And we wouldn't do anything else? Anything? Would that be so bad? Well, I would still be your girlfriend.
We just wouldn't have sex.
Yeah.
Okay.
I accept.
I love you.
Yeah.
You know what? Maybe you do.
Maybe I love you, too.
Hi.
Kathleen.
I'm picking up an order to go.
I'm so sorry.
We're running a few minutes behind.
Have a drink on the house, and I'll bring your order out as soon as it's ready.
Oh, okay.
Oh, I'm driving, so water's fine.
Thanks.
Hi.
Hi.
Um, you having dinner alone? Yeah, my date's been delayed.
Indefinitely.
I've been running around all day, and I just, uh, haven't had a chance to eat.
The kids have already eaten, and I just felt like having something good.
When's your husband getting back in town? Oh, he's supposed to be back, um, next week.
"Supposed to"? Supposed to.
He, uh-- He really loves it there in-- in Zimbabwe.
He's not gonna stay over there, is he? Well, I don't know.
I mean, he hasn't said he wants to stay over there, but I don't know, George.
He seems really happy every time I talk to him.
But th again, he's just a happy guy.
You know, he has that temperament.
He's always happy.
And you? Are you happy? Truthfully? Truthfully, are you happy you got married again? No.
Now I want you to be equally truthful with me.
Are you happy that you and Anne split up? Yes.
What do you know? We finally had the courage to be completely honest with each other.
Yeah.
But I could've done without the socks story.
Ah, you scared me! What are you doing here? I wanted to talk to you.
I can't talk to you like this.
I look ridiculous.
I just wanna tell you that if you're thinking that if I'd leave you to go to college or something, you're wrong.
Am I? Isn't that what you're doing? You're applying to colleges that are far enough away so that you'd have to live somewhere else? Away from us? Not that I'm not happy that you're going to college.
I'm happy that you're going to college.
I think that's great.
I'm not going anywhere, Amy.
I don't wanna get married, but I'm not going anywhere.
I would not go away unless you came with me.
You and John.
Do you mean that? Are you asking if I mean that, or if I'm just saying that so you'll have sex with me? Yeah.
I can't wait to have sex with you when you're ready.
Hopefully, someday you'll be ready.
You think maybe Ashley and your dad can watch John tomorrow night, and the two of us can drive up the coast and have dinner somewhere on the beach? Um, it's a school night.
No.
Wednesday is a teacher work day.
We're off from school.
I was thinking that after dinner, maybe we could drive up to the school I got into, and we could maybe even spend the night at a decent hotel and just sleep together or stay up all night talking.
Or, um, maybe we could-- we could do what we've been waiting to do.
Maybe.
Or maybe not.
I'll leave it up to you.
Let's just go to some neutral territory where we can be with each other without feeling like we're surrounded by the past.
Seriously, I just wanna spend some time alone with you.
Okay.
By the way, I'm getting a new bed.
Are you awake? Yeah, I can't sleep.
Are you hungry? No.
You're not hungry? No, not at all.
Is something wrong? I don't know.
Something just-- just doesn't feel right.
You were just at the doctor's office and everything was fine.
I know.
Do you want me to call Dr.
Attavi? He went out of town for the week.
I can still call his office.
They'll find him.
No.
You know what? I'm sure I'm okay.
You don't-- You don't think you're going into labor or anything, do you? Hey, do you? I don't know.
I'm not sure.
It just Something just doesn't feel right.
You know what? It's probably nothing.
Go back to sleep.
I'm sure I'm okay.
Are you sure? No.
You know what? I'm not sure.
But we should be back to school bright and early Monday morning.
Can't let a little thing like a wedding keep us from school.
No, or a baby.
Are you actually asking me if Mom's seeing someone? She's seeing Josh.
Isn't she? Oh, Dad, don't do this.
I really want you to go to my friend's wedding with me.
I don't want to go.
Why? Do you think I might get ideas? About marriage? I need you to go to the wedding with me.
How many dinners and fundraisers and events have you dragged me to over the years? As I recall, you always said, "Maybe I'll meet someone.
" And maybe I did.
I never realized how much I love you and how much I wanted to be with you.
What made you realize that? Your dad? Yeah.
'Cause he likes me better than Grace.
So do I.
You didn't tell me you got into a college.
You had pictured the three of us living above the butcher shop while I worked and you went to school? I can adjust that picture.
We are gathered here today to join Ben and Adrian in holy matrimony.
I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
You know, Mr.
Boykewich, what I was thinking we could do, after you get home from the butcher shop and we go to Dr.
Attavi's office-- we can go by the market and get some steaks and then try the grill on the patio.
What do you think? Oh, I think it's 4:30, and it's too early, and you need your sleep, Mrs.
Boykewich.
I can't sleep.
I'm uncomfortable.
I'm getting more uncomfortable by the minute.
He said for you to lie on your left side.
I was, but I'm not comfortable on my left side.
I'm tired of my left side.
My right side's no good, and I don't have another side, so I sat up.
Well, short of giving birth immediately, what do you think might help? Because until you're comfortable, I have a feeling I'm not going to be comfortable, so I'd be willing to do just about anything.
You name it.
I don't know.
Maybe when we go see Dr.
Attavi today, he can suggest something.
Oh, maybe I could call Amy.
Maybe she could be useful for once.
At 4:30? You think she's up? Maybe with John? She could be up.
I doubt it.
But I'm up now, so what can I do for you? You hungry? You must be hungry.
You woke up thinking about steaks.
Which, by the way, I'll bring home from the butcher shop.
You want some breakfast? Do we have breakfast food? We do.
We have eggs and milk and bread.
I think I can do something with that that would be edible.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thanks.
I'd love some breakfast.
As long as it doesn't make us late for school.
We have a few hours.
Thank you, Husband.
You're welcome, Wife.
Falling in love Is such an easy thing to do Birds can do it We can do it Let's stop talking, Let's get to it Let's fall in love And you thought this would be a good idea because? Because they're trying to do what they think is right, and I think that's honorable, and I think we should all support them.
Mm-hmm.
See, they should've thought about doing the right thing when they were doing the wrong thing.
Now, I could support that.
Yeah, but they-- Yeah, me, too.
Really, what are these girls thinking? That that's a way to get a guy to marry them-- by getting pregnant? It's like we're rewarding them for doing something stupid, Kaitlyn.
Uh, excuse me.
I'm sorry.
I just need to get into the band room.
I apologize.
We weren't talking about you.
We were talking about-- Girls in high school who get pregnant and get married.
Yeah, that's not me.
I'm not getting married.
For the record, I hardly knew Ricky when we got pregnant, and I'm just starting to get to know him now.
So I really wasn't trying to do anything when we got pregnant.
I wasn't trying to get him to be my husband or my boyfriend or anything like that.
You don't have to explain anything to me.
No, no.
I want to explain it to you.
And you can explain it to other people, because I am tired of explaining it.
You seem upset.
Is-- Is it because of the banner that I put up? Does it bother you that Ben and Adrian are now married, and you and Ricky are not married? Why should it? As Adrian pointed out long ago, Ricky will probably never wanna get married.
What about you? Do you wanna get married? I mean, right now in high school? Doesn't matter what I want.
I think it matters.
I told you, Ricky doesn't wanna get married.
You never know.
No.
You never know.
But, of course, if he goes away to school, then the chances are probably greater that he and I won't get married.
At least that's how I see it.
Yeah, the interview went really well.
Thanks a lot.
We're late! Hey, we're late for our very first day at school as a married couple.
I know.
I'm sorry, but you looked so tired, and, well, I'm tired, and I don't think anyone really expected us to be on time.
I did.
Yeah, me, too.
I'll call the counselors' office and tell them we'll be there.
I'm sure it'll be fine.
Do you want something to eat? Uh, what is that? It's a loco moco.
It's hamburger, fried egg, and gravy over rice.
No.
I think I'm just gonna go grab a shower, okay? And get out of here.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let me just finish up breakfast, and then I'll go get in the shower, and I'll get dressed, and then I'll do my hair and makeup, and then we can go.
Um, are we carpooling? We're going to the same school.
Yeah, but I have to go to the butcher shop after school.
I know.
But you can drop me off.
Okay.
But I think I may be ready to go to school before you're ready.
I doubt it.
You usually take longer than I do, Husband.
And besides, it's our first day as a married couple.
I wanna go together.
Whatever you want.
I'll go get started.
What's going on? Hey, where's Lauren? I don't know.
But I doubt she took out her phone during class and looked at it.
I can do that because of John, but it's against the rules, as is hanging out in the bathroom during class.
What's the emergency? I wanted to tell you something face-to-face, and this is where I wanted to tell you.
In the bathroom? Yeah.
I mean, we have so many memories in this place.
Oh, no.
No, she hasn't had time to get pregnant.
But, oh, no.
What "oh, no"? Did you have sex? Why is it "oh, no" if I had sex? It wouldn't be "oh, no" if Amy had sex.
Did you? I don't wanna know.
I did.
Oh, uh When? Last weekend when Ben and Adrian were getting married.
Oh.
Bad timing.
Well, how was it? It was pretty interesting.
So interesting that you waited three days to tell us? Well, I'm not Amy.
I didn't wait, like, weeks or months or years to tell you.
It was weeks, not months or years.
Tell us.
How was it? Uh, pretty interesting.
You said that.
Is that code for "bad"? It was bad? No, it wasn't bad.
It was-- Don't say "pretty interesting" again.
Very emotional? Emotional? Like, emotional in a good way or emotional in a bad way? During or after? Yeah, after.
We were just laying there all warm and cozy, in the blankets, snuggled up next to each other.
And I think I saw Jack shed a tear or two.
Or more.
Um, yeah.
He said it was sweat, but I'm pretty sure those were tears.
Okay.
I have to give it to you, that is pretty interesting.
Mm-hmm.
Jack cried.
Jack.
I told you.
Pretty interesting.
Guys are allowed to cry.
I'm sure he was just overwhelmed with his feelings for you.
I'm not so sure about that.
What else would he be crying about? I don't know.
I tried to find out.
I asked him what he was thinking, and he just kept saying, "I love you.
" That's a good thing, isn't it? It didn't seem like he was telling me because he loves me.
It seemed like he was telling me to avoid telling me something else.
And I kept asking him what he was thinking, and he kept saying, "I love you.
" And I would say, "I love you, too.
" And, you know, then he wouldn't say anything.
So I'd wait a little bit, and then I'd ask him.
I'd say, "What are you thinking now?" And he would just say he loves me.
And that's all he ever really said.
Don't look at me.
You've had sex.
I haven't.
I've only done it one more time than you, and the same number of times as Madison.
Yeah.
I've got a feeling neither one of you are really gonna be able to help me with this.
You're late.
Yeah, you know, my dad was here to marry Adrian and Ben.
He just left this morning.
I'm sorry, Coach.
I'm sorry, too.
You'll be making up the time with a few laps after practice.
I didn't have the best weekend.
And now you're off to a bad week.
I don't like late.
Athletes are supposed to be role models for the other students.
Role models aren't late.
My dad gave me some bad advice.
He told you to be late for school? He told me to break up with Madison.
I don't know that that's bad advice.
It probably wasn't, but it kind of backfired.
I was gonna break up with her, but it went another way.
You know that for every minute you delay going through that door and I have to listen to this, that's another lap around the field? Yeah, I know, but I had sex with Madison.
It was a mistake.
You've made that mistake before.
In fact, you've made that mistake a few times.
Yeah, but in the past, that mistake really didn't mean anything.
I mean, this is Madison.
She thinks sex means, you know, marriage one day.
And I thought I might marry her one day, but I changed my mind.
Not at the best time.
To explain it in terms you would understand, the first half of the game I was playing offense, and the second half I was playing defense.
I should've called the game off at halftime.
I just-- I didn't wanna hurt her feelings.
And now I'm stuck with her for the rest of my life.
You're not married to her, and you don't have children with her, so you don't have to stay with her.
What kind of role model is that? Just get to class, Pappas.
Hey.
I was hoping I'd run into you.
Here are your keys.
You're welcome.
Oh, I would've thanked you, but it didn't turn out that well.
I don't wanna know.
I don't know what I was thinking.
No, I know what I was thinking.
I was thinking about breaking up with Madison and never seeing her again.
And that made me wanna see her again in the worst way.
I don't wanna know.
I knew it was a mistake halfway into it.
I just felt bad about the whole thing.
It felt good, but I felt bad.
Has that ever happened to you? Yeah, that's never happened to me before, either.
Afterwards, she kept saying, "What are you thinking?" And I hate that.
I really hate that.
I didn't know what I was supposed to say, so I just kept telling her I love her.
"What are you thinking?" "I love you.
" "I love you, too.
What are you thinking now?" "I love you.
" "I love you, too.
What are you thinking now?" On and on and on and How could I tell her that what I was thinking was that we really shouldn't have done it? Because maybe I'm not really in love with her.
At least not enough to spend the rest of my life with her.
At least I don't know that yet.
Don't ever ask to borrow the apartment again, all right? Yeah.
Okay, we really have to get to class.
I know.
I just I don't feel like it.
I'm so confused.
I can't pay attention in class.
I don't wanna have to break up with Jack just because sex isn't what I expected.
I-- I don't know.
He just-- He told me he loves me too many times, but I feel weird now.
I just-- I don't know if I wanna be around him anymore.
You can.
You can break up with him if you want.
Don't stay with him just because you had sex.
You don't have to do that.
You don't even have to stay with him if you have a baby with him.
Oh.
No offense, Amy.
It just slipped out.
I was talking about Adrian and Ben.
Yeah.
Whatever.
I'm used to it.
Madison, you don't have to break up with Jack.
Maybe the second time will be better.
And maybe it won't for either of you.
I know that, Lauren.
I know that.
But I don't wanna break up with Ricky.
I love him.
And I think that you might love Jack.
So give him some time.
It's okay to take some time when making a decision.
Maybe you need some more time, but I don't know if I need more time.
I kind of feel like part of the problem is we spent so long thinking about having sex that when we finally got around to it, it was anticlimactic.
And that's what it was for me, literally, if you know what I mean.
Yeah? Well, guess what.
That's not uncommon for girls having sex for the first time.
You knew this, and you waited until now to tell me? Maybe you should spend more time reading.
What is with you today? You sound so-- Angry.
Did we do something? Yeah.
You two have ruined sex for me.
I don't even know if I would have sex if I were married right now.
Wait.
Where did you two do it anyways? Grace's guest house? 'Cause I thought Jack's dad was staying with him.
Yes, he-- he was.
Um, Ricky let us use his place.
What? You knew about that, right? They're here! They're here.
They're here! Adrian and Ben just pulled into the parking lot.
They're here.
Everybody come out! They're coming.
Okay.
Adrian is gonna love this.
There you go.
Wanna throw some rice? They missed this at their actual wedding.
They had a small wedding.
Just family.
Doesn't rice kill birds? Isn't that why they stopped throwing rice at weddings? We're inside.
I think it's okay.
Not if a bird eats it and its stomach swells up and it explodes.
We're inside.
It's a bird-free environment.
Isn't it supposed to be wrapped in a little net thing? I have a life, okay? All I had time to do was get the rice.
Just try to enjoy this.
It's a-- It's a wedding reception.
Not really.
Here's some rice.
When they get here, throw it in the hallway.
It is not her fault.
Jack just asked Ricky for the key.
Ricky's the one that gave it to him.
Why should Jack even ask him for a key or to use his apartment? I don't ask Ricky to use his apartment, and I don't have a key.
Well, I'm sure he gave it back, so maybe you could get that one.
Obviously Ricky doesn't want Amy to have a key or he'd give her one.
It's his place.
It's not their place.
Don't start.
I expected them to be talking about me-- me and Madison-- but, uh, I think they're talking about you.
Or you and Amy.
I don't know why I came out here for this.
Yeah, me neither.
I-- I can't believe it.
You two did it in Ricky's bed? I'm your best friend.
You've slept in my bed.
I've slept in your bed.
You haven't had sex in my bed.
No, but I'm certainly not the first girl to have sex in Ricky's bed.
I mean, Ricky had sex with Adrian in that bed.
What? Come on.
You knew that.
Hey, you.
Hey.
I feel le we're at an underage wedding.
Like we're doing something illegal.
Yeah, it is kind of weird.
A married couple in high school.
It's like last weekend just won't ever end.
It just goes on and on and What? Amy's in a bad mood.
I'll tell you why later.
No, you won't.
I'm going to class.
Fine.
Me, too.
No.
Wait.
Don't leave.
They're coming.
Just be patient.
I think this may be a false alarm.
No, I swear.
They're coming.
Here.
Oh, my God, is everyone here for me? I mean, us? Everyone, welcome Mr.
and Mrs.
Ben Boykewich back to school.
Hey, watch it.
Eyes.
Watch it.
Thank you.
Thank you, everyone.
This is so nice of you.
I love you.
Wow.
Thank you.
Um, you're all invited to our place.
No, no, no.
No, they're not.
No, this is all very nice, but you can't come over.
Hey.
Hey! Ow! That hurt.
That's what married people do.
They have people over.
You know, I don't think married people in high school do that.
Not when they're having a baby.
Agh! Knock it off! Who the hell came up with this rice idea? It wasn't me.
I swear.
Okay, everyone.
Show's over.
Back to class.
Just a minute, sir.
That your girlfriend, pal? Yeah, that's my girlfriend.
Then this is your broom.
Clean it up.
I don't know why you're so upset.
I'm the one who should be upset.
If Ricky hadn't loaned us his bed or-- I mean, his apartment-- then Jack and I wouldn't have done it, and we'd still be together.
You know, not together together, but we'd still wanna be together together, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
And it's okay.
You really didn't do anything.
Oh, no, we did.
It's just-- It wasn't-- I know.
Oh, my God.
Look at this.
It's so cute.
That is cute.
Today's almost better than our real wedding day.
I loved our wedding day.
Me, too.
But I kind of like all the attention, you know? Yeah, I know.
I gotta get to class.
Okay.
I love you, Mrs.
Boykewich.
And I love you, Mr.
Boykewich.
Oh.
I gotta put you on hold.
Someone is parked in my parking spot.
Really? Would I make that up? So what'd you do with your car? I parked behind whoever parked in my spot.
I wanna know who it is.
I will find out.
Hey, do you have any idea when Mike is coming back, so you don't have to, you know, worry about this stuff? I would assume when Betty's coming back.
And when is that? I don't know.
I tried calling her last night.
I can't get her on the phone.
She never charges the damn thing.
Uh-huh.
And what does Mike say? That she's with her family.
Is that all he says? Just say what you wanna say.
What do you know that I don't? No, just that he's been driving her sisters around a lot.
She has two sisters.
I know that.
He says they've been fighting over him.
And I would care about that because? I just wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't come back.
What? Yeah.
I mean, you know Mike.
He doesn't get out a lot except with you.
I think he's kind of enjoying himself.
Well, he better not be enjoying himself too much.
He better be looking after Betty.
Well, Mike told me that Betty's mom has, um, brightened.
What the hell does that mean? I don't speak Idahoan.
I don't know.
Never mind what it means.
I wanna know when my wife is coming home.
Nobody's dying.
Her mom's not dying.
She was dying last Friday night, and Betty couldn't come to the wedding.
But now she's not dying.
I don't know.
I mean, maybe her mom brightened but is still in jeopardy.
Who we keeping on hold? Oh.
Um, that is no one.
I will take care of him.
Him who? George.
George-- George Juergens? Mm-hmm.
George, sorry we kept you on hold so long.
What's going on? Everything okay? I'm sorry.
I have the wrong number.
What the heck was that? Uh, that was a personal call.
What? He wasn't calling you.
He was calling me.
Why would he be calling you? Maybe I finally met someone at a wedding.
I met George when we were leaving the wedding.
I was outside waiting for you, and he was walking his dog, and he's nice, and he's cute.
You can't go out with him.
He's-- He's-- He's not someone you should be out with.
And why is that? Because-- Because he knows me.
You can't go out with people who know me.
That-- That's-- That's company policy.
No, it's not.
Well, it is now.
And I wanna speak to my wife.
Try and find my wife, will you, instead of making personal phone calls? I mean, what is wrong with people? Hello? Hi.
Sorry about that.
I should've given you my home number.
Don't you have a cell number? Give me your cell number.
No, it's too early for that.
Okay, um, maybe I can get it tonight at dinner.
Wanna go to dinner? We can swap numbers over a nice big steak? Well, I don't really know what time I'll get outta here.
I can wait.
Call me when you're leaving.
Okay.
Talk to you later.
Who was that? That was an age-appropriate straight woman that I'm very attracted to and have a date with tonight.
Oh, good.
Good for you.
And you don't have to keep it a secret.
You can tell your mother.
No, I don't wanna get in the middle of anything.
Go ahead.
Get in the middle.
No, thanks.
Come on.
No.
I need to talk to someone about a medical problem.
Like a friend? We're not friends.
I don't have a friend.
I was thinking someone more like a doctor.
I'm hardly a doctor.
I just went to med camp.
That's the extent of my medical training.
It's not that complicated a question.
Camp training may do it.
Maybe if it were about a friend.
I don't wanna know anything too personal about you.
I don't mind knowing about your friends.
Okay.
Yeah.
It was a friend.
A friend of mine was having sex with Madison Darn.
No, not Madison.
Uh, another friend.
Yeah.
A friend of mine was having sex with another friend, and he knew it was wrong, but he didn't realize it until the middle of everything, and then he tried stopping, but then his body just took over his brain, and then it was too late, and lives are now ruined.
Your question is? Is there any medical reason that my friend could use to explain to Madison-- I mean, the other friend? Explain what? Why he couldn't just, you know, stop when the game was in motion? A medical reason? Yeah.
No, I don't think so.
Maybe you should talk to someone who went to shrink camp.
Why is that? Physically, I think you could stop anytime.
If she had said "stop," you would've stopped, right? Of course.
If she would've told me to stop, that would've been fine.
If I stopped and-- that would've just been rude, and it would've hurt her feelings.
It was her first time.
It could've caused her to be a psychological mess when it comes to sex in the future.
Not unlike yourself.
Yeah.
Look, Jack, this is way too personal for you to be talking to me about.
Talk to Madison.
You need to talk to Madison.
I'm not your friend.
I'm your ex-girlfriend's boyfriend.
This is not healthy for either of us.
And, frankly, you're an idiot to be telling other people about this stuff.
I can't help it.
I don't know what to do.
I was hoping someone would just tell me what to do.
Just telling me to talk to Madison-- that's-- that's something.
That's some advice I can take at least.
Okay, well, do that.
You know, we could be friends.
I'm not interested in Grace anymore.
Well, you're not interested in Madison anymore either, so you could come back around to Grace.
You seem to change your mind a lot.
'Cause I'm confused about Madison.
I'm gonna go grab a broom and help you finish up here, and we can maybe talk some more until I get clear in my head what I should do? Maybe you should just go do some thinking on your own, and I can take care of this.
I insist, all right? I'll be right back.
Hi.
You let Madison and Jack have sex in your bed? I just let him borrow the apartment because he wanted some privacy.
I don't know anything about any of the other stuff.
What? She's your best friend.
I figured you knew her boyfriend asked to borrow my apartment.
Well, I didn't.
Well, it is my apartment.
Yeah, it is your apartment and it is your bed.
And if you want me in your apartment and you want me in your bed, then you need to get a new bed.
Because Jack and Madison were in my bed? And Adrian.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
Adrian.
Of course.
Everything goes back to Adrian.
I'm not going to have sex in your bed that you slept in with Adrian and other girls.
I'm not.
I'm just not.
Fine.
What about the couch? Are you gonna sit on the couch? I sat on the couch with other girls.
Should I get a new couch? What about the chairs? Should I get new chairs, too? I don't know, kid.
Sounds like she really wants you.
She really wants you bad.
No, doesn't sound like that at all.
She's got excuse after excuse after excuse.
And I'm tired of it.
I'm tired of her.
She's a big baby.
Who's the big baby? It's like you're stomping your feet and insisting you get some.
It makes you less attractive, as a man.
I'm not doing that.
You kind of are.
I mean, so, I hate to take sides with Amy, but she kind of has a point about that bed.
You've been in that bed with 100 girls, plus your best friend, plus Adrian.
It makes it kind of icky, you know? You got the dough to buy a new bed.
Just buy a new bed.
What, just so I can have sex with her when she has no interest in having sex with me? Maybe it's not the bed.
Maybe that's not the reason she's not sleeping with you.
Maybe she's saying it's the bed, but it's really something else.
What else would it be? I don't know.
All I know is that girl loves you.
She really, really loves you.
Well, maybe she just doesn't want her special night with you to be in that nasty old bed up there.
It's not even my bed.
It's the Boykewiches' bed.
People probably died in it.
All the reason to buy a new bed.
I don't know what happened to me.
It used to be that I could just have sex and not even think about it.
Now it's like conquering the world.
It takes planning and resources and strategies and begging.
You know, I'm practically begging her at this point.
Yeah, stop with that, okay? Just, like, take a step back.
Let her come to you.
It's gonna be so much better if she comes to you.
Yeah.
I think she might've mentioned something like that.
Is that what happened with you and Ollie? You let her come to you? Um, that's a no.
Uh, yeah, it was kind of, uh, the other way around with us.
Uh, she, um, let me come to her.
Oh.
I didn't know-- yeah-- how that works in your relationship with her.
Yeah, that's kind of how Maybe it was getting into college.
Maybe that's it, you know? That-- That's why Amy's not doing anything.
Because she can't say she doesn't want you to go to college.
I mean, she wants you to go to college, but you two haven't done anything yet, and you're already leaving her.
I'm not leaving her.
I'm not leaving anyone.
I'm gonna try to get into some other schools, and if I don't, she can come with me.
You, too.
And Ollie? Whoever wants to come.
I don't care.
I just wanna be with Amy and John.
That's it.
That is it.
That'll do it.
What's for dinner? Ugh! I'm starving.
I'm not.
Mmm.
I smell something good.
That's me.
Well, something's obviously cooking in the oven, but you do smell good.
And you look like we're going out to dinner.
Are we going out to dinner? I don't wanna go out to dinner, Dad.
I'm tired, I have a lot of homework, and I got in a fight with Ricky today.
Oh, no.
Another big fight with Ricky? I hope that doesn't delay moving in again.
I made your mom's lasagna.
It's got about another five minutes.
Now that you're home, you can take it out of the oven for me.
Or I could use that extra five minutes to grab a shower, and you could take it out of the oven just like you would've done if I hadn't just come in the door.
Wait.
Are you going out without us? I am.
I am going out without you.
I am going out on a date.
With? No.
No, not that woman you trapped when you were walking the dog.
Not Leo's assistant.
You cannot go out with her.
Yes, I can.
No, you can't.
Dad, if you go out with her, you're gonna tell her what I'm doing and what I'm thinking, and then she's gonna tell Leo, and Leo's gonna tell Ben, and Ben is gonna tell Adrian, and I will have no privacy whatsoever, and neither will Leo.
No one has had any privacy since the information highway opened.
The what? The Internet.
Please don't call it the information highway.
It makes you sound so-- Old? I may be getting old, but I'm feeling young tonight.
See you.
Good night, John.
Good night.
I hope you have a great time.
No, you don't.
Bye.
No, I don't.
Did I just hear Dad leave? Yeah.
Did you know that he had a date? Oh, does he? Oh.
You knew.
Who are you texting that Dad's out of the house? Toby? Mom.
What? So where did he meet her? She went with Leo to Ben and Adrian's wedding last weekend.
George bumped into her on the sidewalk and then struck up a conversation while he was out walking Moose.
Actually, he was walking Moose up and down the sidewalk, hoping that she'd come out of the house.
Wow.
Got all the details.
Yep.
She's a tall, skinny, good-looking blonde.
He likes blondes.
His first wife was blonde.
Do you really wanna know all this? It's their first date.
It could be their last.
She's never been married before.
What's that mean? It means there's a pretty good chance there'll be a second date.
So, what, you thought George wouldn't be dating? Are you kidding? He dated when we were married.
Are-- Are wedating? Yeah, I guess we are.
Are we dating just each other, or are we dating other people? Am I dating other people? Is that what you're asking? That's what I'm asking.
Because? Because I wasn't ready for you in high school, but I'm ready for you now.
And if you're ready to take this relationship seriously, so am I.
I don't know if I'm ready to take this relationship seriously.
It's one of the things I enjoy about being with you is that you're not serious.
No, I am.
This is me being serious.
Look, I haven't dated anybody more than once or twice since I split from my ex.
And I think at this age, we both know right now if we could be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Who knew a trip to the doctor's office would turn into a shopping trip? Thank you.
Yeah, it was fun.
And, hey, we needed everything on that list for the hospital.
We wanna be ready.
Oh, I'm ready.
Yeah, well, you have at least four more weeks.
I don't know if I could wait four more weeks.
All of a sudden, I just feel huge.
Yeah, well, you're beautiful huge.
Mmm, thank you, Husband.
You're welcome, Wife.
It's weird, isn't it-- being married and living in a condo and having a baby in high school? Way weird.
It's actually kind of scary.
Yeah.
A little.
But thank you for dinner.
That dinner was unbelievable.
Maybe you'll sleep better tonight.
You didn't eat much yesterday.
I think that's why you woke up so early.
Yeah.
Maybe.
I do feel like I can go to bed and sleep for a while.
It's 8:00.
Yeah, but all of a sudden, I'm feeling really tired.
Can we put the stuff away tomorrow? Yeah.
I'll put it in the nursery for now.
Okay.
I just wanna lay down.
I don't think you should be friends with Jack.
You're friends with Madison.
Yeah, well-- And you might as well be friends with Jack.
He lives here, so-- So? I don't wanna be friends with my old boyfriend.
You're not friends with your old girlfriend.
You're not, right? Not close friends.
I still hear from her once in a while.
What? Yeah, I get a text once in a while.
No big deal.
What are you talking about? I don't know.
Do you talk to her? What do you mean? I mean, does she call you? Do you take her calls? Do you call her? Does she take your calls? You know what I mean.
Grace, I was her first.
She was my first.
We have that bond.
We're friends.
I wouldn't wanna not be friends with her.
Well, I would want you to not be friends with her.
She likes you.
Where does she get off liking me? She doesn't even know me.
I don't like her.
I didn't think I'd like Jack, but he's okay.
I just never talked to him before.
You should meet Angie.
I don't want to.
Okay.
Are you trying to break up with me? No.
Well, are you trying to get me to break up with you? No.
I love you.
Okay, well, it just seems like someone's breaking up with someone.
Yeah, but not either of us, I hope.
Well, this feels very grown-up.
You know? And very civil.
Yeah, it does.
So you said you wanted to talk to me.
Yeah, I wanna talk to you.
I just don't really know what to say.
Yeah, I don't really know what to say either.
Are you breaking up with me? Over sex? Okay, I'm just gonna come out and say it.
It really wasn't what I was expecting.
I didn't feel like, you know, you were really into it.
You wouldn't talk to me afterwards.
I don't care how many times you told me that you love me.
I really didn't feel like you love me.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
For what? For having sex with you.
I was gonna break up with you, but then I changed my mind.
You were gonna break up with me right after having sex with me? No.
No, no, no.
Before.
Before.
I was gonna go out with you, Oh.
and then talk to you and tell you that I didn't wanna go out with you anymore, but that only made me think I wanted you even more, so I wanted to have sex.
But then, in the middle, I wanted to stop having sex because it felt wrong.
Not that having sex is wrong or anything.
I just felt it was wrong for me at that time.
And I hate saying that.
And I don't wanna hurt your feelings or anything or make you cry.
Oh, well, I'm not crying.
I'm not crying now, and I wasn't crying after we did it.
Okay, well, I shed a tear or two.
Why? Because I love you.
I really love you, but sex isn't right for the two of us right now.
No, it's not.
I'm so sorry.
I feel like I ruined our relationship.
Me, too.
Okay, I-- I don't wanna do anything.
My-- My parent's are gone.
But they just went to dinner.
They're gonna be back in a minute.
And I-- I don't wanna do it again.
I wasn't thinking that.
Well, are you thinking you wanna break up or-- No.
I was thinking I think it's kind of funny that you don't know that I don't like to be asked what I'm thinking all the time.
Well, I wouldn't ask you if you'd tell me.
Okay.
I'll tell you what I'm thinking.
I'm gonna tell you what I'm thinking, but I don't know if you're gonna like it or not.
I don't have to like it.
Just tell me what you're thinking for once.
Jeez, Jack.
I think that just because we had sex once doesn't mean we have to have sex ever again.
Maybe not ever.
Maybe in a few years.
But why can't we just see what dating is like without having any kind of sex at all? You know, we could maybe make out once in a while, and-- And we wouldn't do anything else? Anything? Would that be so bad? Well, I would still be your girlfriend.
We just wouldn't have sex.
Yeah.
Okay.
I accept.
I love you.
Yeah.
You know what? Maybe you do.
Maybe I love you, too.
Hi.
Kathleen.
I'm picking up an order to go.
I'm so sorry.
We're running a few minutes behind.
Have a drink on the house, and I'll bring your order out as soon as it's ready.
Oh, okay.
Oh, I'm driving, so water's fine.
Thanks.
Hi.
Hi.
Um, you having dinner alone? Yeah, my date's been delayed.
Indefinitely.
I've been running around all day, and I just, uh, haven't had a chance to eat.
The kids have already eaten, and I just felt like having something good.
When's your husband getting back in town? Oh, he's supposed to be back, um, next week.
"Supposed to"? Supposed to.
He, uh-- He really loves it there in-- in Zimbabwe.
He's not gonna stay over there, is he? Well, I don't know.
I mean, he hasn't said he wants to stay over there, but I don't know, George.
He seems really happy every time I talk to him.
But th again, he's just a happy guy.
You know, he has that temperament.
He's always happy.
And you? Are you happy? Truthfully? Truthfully, are you happy you got married again? No.
Now I want you to be equally truthful with me.
Are you happy that you and Anne split up? Yes.
What do you know? We finally had the courage to be completely honest with each other.
Yeah.
But I could've done without the socks story.
Ah, you scared me! What are you doing here? I wanted to talk to you.
I can't talk to you like this.
I look ridiculous.
I just wanna tell you that if you're thinking that if I'd leave you to go to college or something, you're wrong.
Am I? Isn't that what you're doing? You're applying to colleges that are far enough away so that you'd have to live somewhere else? Away from us? Not that I'm not happy that you're going to college.
I'm happy that you're going to college.
I think that's great.
I'm not going anywhere, Amy.
I don't wanna get married, but I'm not going anywhere.
I would not go away unless you came with me.
You and John.
Do you mean that? Are you asking if I mean that, or if I'm just saying that so you'll have sex with me? Yeah.
I can't wait to have sex with you when you're ready.
Hopefully, someday you'll be ready.
You think maybe Ashley and your dad can watch John tomorrow night, and the two of us can drive up the coast and have dinner somewhere on the beach? Um, it's a school night.
No.
Wednesday is a teacher work day.
We're off from school.
I was thinking that after dinner, maybe we could drive up to the school I got into, and we could maybe even spend the night at a decent hotel and just sleep together or stay up all night talking.
Or, um, maybe we could-- we could do what we've been waiting to do.
Maybe.
Or maybe not.
I'll leave it up to you.
Let's just go to some neutral territory where we can be with each other without feeling like we're surrounded by the past.
Seriously, I just wanna spend some time alone with you.
Okay.
By the way, I'm getting a new bed.
Are you awake? Yeah, I can't sleep.
Are you hungry? No.
You're not hungry? No, not at all.
Is something wrong? I don't know.
Something just-- just doesn't feel right.
You were just at the doctor's office and everything was fine.
I know.
Do you want me to call Dr.
Attavi? He went out of town for the week.
I can still call his office.
They'll find him.
No.
You know what? I'm sure I'm okay.
You don't-- You don't think you're going into labor or anything, do you? Hey, do you? I don't know.
I'm not sure.
It just Something just doesn't feel right.
You know what? It's probably nothing.
Go back to sleep.
I'm sure I'm okay.
Are you sure? No.
You know what? I'm not sure.