The Nanny s03e27 Episode Script

Hi.
Oh, Grandma Yetta called and said she's on her way.
I don't know why she wouldn't let me send the limo for her so she could stretch out in back.
Oh, honey, at her age, she's not looking to stretch out in the back of any long black cars.
Niles, do you have anything for the dog to eat? Sure.
What are you in the mood for? Watch it, Hop Sing, - or I'll have you fixed like I fixed him.
- Oh.
Nanny Fine, here's my credit card.
Now, when you take Chester to the groomer, be very careful.
He's been biting and snapping and being particularly vicious.
Bad Cujo.
Bad Cujo.
Dump him in here.
I gave him a tranquillizer.
Oh, you know, my mother once took a doggy tranquillizer by accident.
She thought it was a Dexatrim.
What happened? Well, she ate out of a big bowl, licked herself clean basically nothing happened.
I'm leaving for the airport now, Mother.
Goodbye.
Yes, of course, Mother.
I like you very much, too.
"I like you very much, too"? When are you gonna cut that umbilical cord already? Well, I have to go to Paris.
My brother's done it again.
Nigel's taken his entire inheritance and bought some seedy little nightclub in Paris.
I told Mother no one in our family should get hold of their trust fund until they're at least 30 years old.
I'm not gonna have a date until I'm 30.
Well, honey, at least when you turn 30, you'll be rich.
When I turn 30, I'll be 40.
Oh, my goodness.
Look at the time.
I'm gonna miss my flight.
Oh, well, Shalimar.
Oh, no.
That's au revoir, Miss Fine.
No.
I meant Shalimar, as in duty free, but I'll be happy with whatever you bring me back.
Chanel.
Oh, Mr.
Sheffield.
Mr.
Sheffield, you forgot your bag.
Oh, my goodness.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
Bye, Dad.
Oh, look who's here.
Grandma Yetta.
Oh, no.
You came here in an ambulance? Are you okay? She flagged us down and said she was a little out of breath.
But as we were driving down your block, she suddenly felt much better.
It was a miracle.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, Brighton, bring Chester over here.
We're gonna take him to the groomer's.
Here boy.
Boy? You know, Fran, I don't want to say anything here, but I think this dog is dead.
Oh, calm down, he's not dead.
He's just sleeping.
I get that all the time.
Oh, sweet doggy, nice puppy.
Wow! She don't feed him enough.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Mr.
Sheffield! Mr.
Sheffield! Mr.
Sheffield.
Mr.
Sheffield.
Oh, thank God I found you.
Miss Fine, what on earth are you doing here? Well, you accidentally took the wrong bag I gave you.
How did you get on? Well, I had to buy a ticket with Miss Babcock's credit card.
But I'll give it back for a refund just as soon as I get off the plane.
Of course, without a ticket, I won't be able to get back into duty free to return this adorable little tennis bracelet Would you would you just get the bag and get off the plane? Okay.
Okay.
Champagne? Oh, thank you, yes.
I just love first class.
Um Uh, excuse me.
Chester.
Oh, Chester.
Are you in here? Chester, honey.
Flight attendants cross-check and prepare the cabin for takeoff.
Grandma Yetta, Fran said I could go into her closet and play dress up, but everything's too tight on me.
Does Franny still wear this? Because it would be good for me in summer.
Uh, Yetta, I'm doing a book report, and they're out of it at Blockbuster.
And, well, I was wondering, how much do you know about the Titanic? Oh, top of the line.
They had a midnight buffet on deck.
And the ice sculpture huge.
Help me! Help me! Help me! That talking pig sounds just like my nanny.
Stewardess! Stewardess! Oh, God, no.
I thought I was gonna suffocate.
Going down.
Ladies lingerie, accessories Get out of there.
Oh, calm down.
I was just trying to switch the bags and I accidentally got locked in the closet.
It could happen to anyone.
Yes, but it doesn't happen to anyone, does it? It only happens to you, Mrs.
Carmichael.
Come.
Just just sit down.
Oh, you like sitting by the window, too? Thank you.
Thank you.
I have to sit by the window.
Oh, except now you really can't see the movie screen from here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, would you look at this? This brings back such memories.
Ma used to make all the beds with these blankets.
I'll tell you, until I was six Until I was six, I thought that our initials were T.
W.
A.
Oh, look at this, my sister's china pattern.
Wait a minute.
If you're here, Miss Fine, who's taking care of the children? Oh, Grandma Yetta.
But don't worry.
She raised my mother, and look how normal she Give me the phone! Give me the phone! Hi, Grandma Yetta.
Yeah, it's Fran.
Listen, I'm calling from the aeroplane.
I know.
It's amazing.
But, you know, if they could get a man on the moon Sure they did.
Neil Armstrong.
No, he's not the one that sang Love on the Rocks.
That was Neil Diamond.
But I can understand how Just give me that.
Yetta, get Niles on the phone, would you? What? No, I most certainly will not.
Love on the rocks Ain't no surprise Pour me a drink And I'll tell you Would you is there no one there I can talk to? Yes.
Good.
Gracie, sweetheart, get Niles for me.
Oh, talk to your daughter for two seconds.
Hello, sweetheart.
I love you, and I miss you very, very much.
I miss you, too, sir.
No, we weren't worried.
We figured it was something as simple as getting locked in the closet of a 747 in flight.
Oh, here's Miss Babcock now.
Mr.
Sheffield for you.
Bonjour, Maxwell.
Oh, how I wish I were with you whisking off to Paris.
Hold on a minute.
Nanny Fine is babbling something next to me.
Would you Oh, she's babbling something next to you.
Oh-oh.
Isn't that funny? Funny, funny, funny.
How can this be the only available room in the entire city? What? Is there some kind of convention going on or something? Oh, people are pouring in from everywhere.
The new Andrew Lloyd Webber musical is opening.
Oh, monsieur, wait.
Here you go.
And please don't come back until he's done number deux.
Merci.
Merci.
Oh, I cannot believe we're in Paris.
And would you look at this room! You know, I think Miss Ellie has this wallpaper in Southfork.
I'll tell you, this jet lag is beginning to catch up with me.
Oh, I know.
I can hardly keep my eyes open.
Yes.
Well, I'm feeling much better.
Really? You look exhausted.
You wouldn't want to spoil your stay in Paris.
No.
I'm feeling much better, really.
I took a sleep on the plane.
Why didn't you? And miss the lobster, caviar and make-your-own-sundae bar? I don't think so.
Well, I'm gonna take a shower.
Nigel should be here any minute.
I thought we'd grab a quick bite at L'Orangerie, try and talk some sense into him.
Talk him out of that ridiculous night club business he's getting Miss Fine, were you going to just sit there and let me take my clothes off? Well, I didn't want to spoil my stay in Paris either.
Oh, that'll be Nigel now.
You know, uh, I haven't seen my little brother for four years.
Actually, I'm feeling a little emotional.
Oh, Mr.
Sheffield, that's good.
Go with your feelings.
Let it out.
- Hello, young man.
- Max.
Who's this? I say, aren't we lovely? We certainly are.
- I'm Fran.
- Nigel.
Oh, Max, I should have rung up.
Am I, um, interrupting? No.
No.
Oh, this this is my nanny.
She, uh, she takes care of my children.
Oh, you brought them with you, then.
Where where are they? They're in New York.
Oh, I get it.
Nanny.
Spank, spank.
No, Nigel.
You do not get it at all.
Well, I can assure you, this woman is not involved with me or anyone else for that matter.
Go to the window.
I don't think Brussels heard you.
All right, Nigel, now, what is all this ridiculous nonsense about you buying a night club? Oh, here comes the lecture.
You know, if you put a martini in one hand and Father's jewels in the other, you could be Mother.
Don't you think it's time you stopped behaving like an immature child and grew up? I mean, you know nothing about business.
Well, what do you know? I used your name and couldn't even get into the Andrew Lloyd Webber show.
All right.
Fine.
That does it.
Oh, my God.
Boys! Boys! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Use your words.
Now, you two are taking a time-out.
That's all.
He started it.
Oh, and no TV for you, either.
Now, what's with you? You know, he's only trying to help you.
I mean, you're very young, and you've got all this dough, and what are you, 6'2"? Three.
- One and a half.
- All right.
That's it.
I'm out of here.
You've turned into a stuffed shirt.
You're boring.
And don't bother coming to my club, because we don't get going till 10:00.
And that's way past your bedtime.
For your information, I go to bed at 11:00 because I work in the morning! I'm sorry, Miss Fine.
I'm sorry you had to witness such a dreadful display.
Hey, that was a display by you? Try going to Ma's house when two aunts each have a bagel and there's only one piece of lox left.
Let's change the subject.
Well, I'm gonna call the airlines.
We are going home.
Oh, Mr.
Sheffield, you can't leave it like this with your brother.
No, I'm sorry.
But even if it means going to his club, drinking champagne and eating French food, we are just gonna have to make the sacrifice.
Well, all right.
- I suppose we did come all this way.
- Mmm-hmm.
And I do happen to have a clean stuffed shirt with me.
Well, let's see, it's only 4:00 now.
So what do you want do between now and then? Let me see.
What could a man and a woman do to kill a couple of hours in Paris? Miss Fine.
Oh, come on, Mr.
Sheffield, right now.
Let's go.
Take me shopping! Niles, where's Maxwell? I've been trying to reach his room all day.
Oh, well, try Nanny Fine's room.
It's 4592.
I know.
Isn't that funny? Funny, funny, funny.
You get what I mean, don't you? Madames, monsieurs, ladies and gentlemen, the incomparable Eartha Kitt.
Wonderful.
Oh, monsieur.
Oh, tish, I love it when you speak French.
Oh, look who's here.
Bonsoir.
A little late for you, though, isn't it, Max? He took a little nap.
Eartha, I'd like you to meet my brother, Maxwell Sheffield and his, um, nanny.
Oh, Miss Kitt, you are so wonderful, and you look incredible.
How do you ever stay so young? I have a nanny, too.
Lorenzo, darling.
Miss Kitt, you were smashing.
Merci.
Oh, two handsome gentlemen in the same family.
All right.
All right.
Back off, cat woman.
Well, the place is packed.
Not bad for an immature child who knows nothing about business, hey, Max? This is on me.
Would you just look at him? Working the room, picking up the tabs.
Just wait till he spends a couple of sleepless nights wondering whether the thing that he's poured his heart and soul into is gonna go under or not.
Oh, he's such a dreamer.
Wish you were him? Yeah.
You know, I was him once.
What happened, Miss Fine? What happened to my passion? Oh, I don't know.
Maybe becoming too successful, you lose your passion.
I know sometimes when I wake up in my mansion and my Ralph Lauren sheets and I look out my window at Park Avenue, I think, oh, maybe I'll just sleep in.
Niles can get the kids ready for school.
But enough about me.
Do you know what I'm gonna do, Miss Fine? Fire me? I'm gonna get my passion back.
Well, I'm right behind you, baby.
The first thing I'm gonna do is tell my brother, "Good show.
" Then I'm gonna ring my mother and tell her to sod off.
And the passion part will kick in exactly where? Right right now.
Oh, right.
I'm gonna go for it, Miss Fine.
I'm gonna grab the brass ring.
I'm gonna get back in touch and just do it.
Go! Grab! Touch! Do! Did I mention touch? For God sakes, I'm in Paris with a beautiful woman.
Come on, let's blow this nightclub and see where life takes us.
Yep, taking the next plane was definitely the right thing to do.
We switch flights in Rome, short layover in Amsterdam.
We'll be home in, oh, 19 hours.
Yeah, it was definitely meant to be.
What the hell was that? Oh, just a little bump in the road.
What, did we hit a deer? We're in the air.
Oh, you have to picture yourself going along a little country lane with a few dips and potholes.
What the bloody hell was that? Okay, okay.
Calm down.
Ma said to always look at the stewardesses, that they'll let you know when there's something to worry about.
Oh, my God.
Everybody, stay in your seats.
Fasten your seat belts.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, God, I never thought it was gonna end like this.
I did.
I'm finally flying first class with a handsome millionaire.
Of course the plane would go down.
What else? All right.
Everybody, now, just stay calm.
- Everything is fine.
- Okay.
Would you put your damn tray away? Do you want to get us all killed? Okay.
Okay.
Oh, Mr.
Sheffield.
Mr.
Sheffield, I just want you to know that these last three years have been just the best years of my life.
Oh, God, my children.
Oh, they adored you, Miss Fine.
You know, now would be a good time to call me Fran.
I love you.