We Bare Bears (2015) s03e29 Episode Script
The Nom Nom Show
1 Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da Let's go! We'll be there A wink and a smile and a great, old time Yeah, we'll be there Wherever we are, there's fun to be found We'll be there when you turn that corner We'll jump out the bush With a big bear hug and a smile We'll be there [Music.]
Man: Live from the studio headquarters in Northern California it's "The Nom Nom Show!" Tonight's guests Viral superstars Daredevil Dog [Barks.]
Shakespeare Baby.
[Babbling.]
And a performance by the Internet sensation, Amazing Ape! With music by Hedgehog and the Nom Nom Jam Band! And here's your host, Nom Nom! [Audience cheering.]
Hey! Mwah! Mwah! Uh-huh! [Audience cheering.]
[Plays solo on piano.]
Hey! [Laughs.]
Man: I love you Nom Nom! I love you too, grown adult! [Laughs.]
Thank you, thank you.
I'm Nom Nom, and welcome to my first-ever TV special, where the only stars brighter than here are in space! [Rim shot.]
[Man coughs.]
Man: Do something cute! [Laughs.]
Well, tonight, we've got a great show! [Chuckles.]
So don't change that channel, we'll be right back! [Music.]
[Muffled scream.]
Agent: It was all so great, Mr.
Nom Nom.
A+! It's gonna be amazing! Keep this up, and we're definitely getting a primetime show.
You'll be the king of the Internet and TV! Really great job, sir.
I'm pretty sure the executive loved it, too! I see a smile! Sir, I know if this special fails, people will laugh at you, and your career will go down the drain.
But regardless, I am still so proud of you.
[Growls.]
Okay, okay, okay! Just give me some space! Shoo, shoo! Give me a moment! [Groans.]
Where's my water? Interns, where's my water?! Grizzly: Uh, coming, Nom Nom! [Crash.]
[Rattling.]
Your eucalyptus water, Mr.
Nom Nom, sir.
Thanks again for this opportunity, man.
Yeah, Grizz says you're likeable now.
Ice Bear is hoping for redemptive arc.
[Gulps.]
Ugh, what am I even paying you for? - The internship's unpaid.
- We only get college credit.
Right.
I get free non-union labor.
You get industry experience.
I lost out on this deal.
Hey, Nom Nom, can I get you a refreshing strawberry water? - It'll make you feel better.
- Grizz! He only drinks eucalyptus water.
Ice Bear doesn't like water.
Too wet.
Aah! Enough! I need the show to go well.
Stop annoying me and bring me some food.
- Okey-dokey.
- Okey-dokey.
And be fast! Go! Be gone! [Clatter.]
[Grumbles.]
- Um, sir, we have a problem.
- What do you mean, "problem"? Daredevil Dog can't make it.
He, uh, called in injured.
Injured? How bad is it? [Music.]
[Dog barks.]
[Thuds.]
[Muffled bark.]
- What?! - We can fix this.
- What do you mean?! - We just need a replacement! How are we gonna just grab some nobody to replace him in less than two minutes? - Ugh! - Grizzly: Hey, Nom Nom! We found you some food! Not sure what it was doing in the backroom? Ronald: Hey! Where'd the cake for the after party go? Let us know if there's anything else you want us to do! Yep, we're free to do whatever you need! Hey, I got an idea.
[Audience cheering.]
[Music.]
Welcome back! So, some bad news, folks.
Daredevil Dog was unable to make it in tonight.
[Audience murmurs.]
Woman: Oh, what? [Laughs.]
Well, it's gonna be okay, 'cause we've got the next best thing! Introducing Daredevil Bear! Daredevil Bear is going to go down the ramp, over the spikes, threw a flaming hoop, a second hoop, more flaming hoops, a spider, over the ramp, through the daggers, over the piranha tank, and land safely over on the other side.
All: Ooh! He signed a waiver, right? All righty! Are you ready?! Um, Nom Nom, this doesn't look like a good idea.
What are you talking about? It's just that it looks a little dangerous.
[Laughs.]
Looks like he needs some motivation! Let's count down! 3, 2, 1! [Grizz screaming.]
[Screams.]
[Both screaming.]
[Music.]
Ow, ow, ow, ow, just stop tugging at it.
Wow, oh, it's really got you, man.
[Grunts.]
Ow, that hurt, you oaf! So sorry, Nom Nom, but everything's fine now! [Chuckles nervously.]
Good as new! Agent: Ah, Nom Nom! It's urgent! Oh, good, my agent's here to fix everything.
Well, actually, sir, Shakespeare Baby can't make it either.
He got into a fight with his twin, Opera Baby.
[Opera music playing.]
[Both crying.]
He lost his voice in a subsequent yelling match.
It was super cute and went viral, - but not good for us.
- What?! [Groans.]
Why is this happening?! Well, you're on in five! Okay, okay, we'll just have to work with it.
You! You're up! [Whimpers.]
You got this, bro! You're the best drama queen I know.
What? What is it? [Soft music plays.]
But, soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun! [Music.]
[Clears throat.]
- Arise, Fair sun! - Uh, whoa.
Oh, geez.
Where Wherefore art thou, uh, art thou? [Sneezes.]
Oh my.
Your lines, Juliet! Stick to your lines! I'm sorry, but these flowers! I think I'm allerg [Sneezing.]
[Laughter.]
Come on! Pull me up, pull me up! That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.
Be not her maid, since she is envious.
- Since she is envious.
- Well, I can't.
I'm really allergic to the Come on, just take the flowers already.
[Sneezes.]
[Screams.]
[Laughter.]
[Screaming.]
[Laughter continues.]
[Sneezing.]
[Grunts.]
You're ruining the act! Get it together, you [Both scream.]
[Crash.]
[Laughter.]
Oh, gosh, Nom Nom, I'm so, so [Sneezes.]
Great job, guys.
Sounds like you got the crowd going [Growls.]
Nom Nom, I'm so sorry for that.
That's it! You embarrassed me in front of the whole crowd! You're fired! Oh wait.
You're all fired! Agent: [Panting.]
Sir! Bad news, sir! I just got off the phone and Don't tell me.
The ape isn't gonna make it.
No.
He isn't real! Turns out he's just a fake Internet meme.
- We've been bamboozled, sir.
- Say no more.
Grizzly: So, uh, should we go? [Screaming.]
Now, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our last and final act.
Featuring my assistant, the amazing, last minute guest star Magic Bear! [Dramatic music plays.]
All: Ooh! I will be performing the ultimate escape from this box, while being completely submerged.
Observe! With a heavily fortified 200-pound door, along with two inches of the strongest glass.
All conditions impossible for escape.
Especially with handcuffs! [Dramatic music plays.]
[Clears throat.]
Magic Bear.
Handcuffs! All right, and there you have it folks.
Behold! I'm now clearly restrained.
I will have just seconds to escape.
Don't forget to leave the master key with me.
[Dramatic music plays.]
[Water splashes.]
[Lock clicks.]
This is the moment [Music.]
This is the moment [Gargling, muffled screaming.]
[Dramatic music.]
[Gasps.]
Nom Nom's in trouble! We're coming, Nom Nom! We're coming! [Laughter.]
[Whoopie cushion sounds.]
[Wings flap.]
[Keys jangling.]
No worries, Nom Nom.
We'll get you out of there! [Keys jangling.]
[Japanes flute plays.]
[Glass breaking.]
[Muffled screaming.]
[Water splashes.]
Oh, my gosh, Nom Nom.
Are you okay? Speak! [Gasping, coughing.]
[Laughter.]
[Air horn blows.]
[Laughter continues.]
[Cellphone beeps.]
Put me through to the network, please.
Wait, wait, wait! Wait, I can fix this! [Shudders.]
[Laughter.]
[Groaning.]
[Screams.]
[Grunts.]
[Music.]
[Nom Nom screaming.]
Ahh, he's coming this way! Nom Nom: Aah! It's over and done! [Screams.]
This was gonna be my own show! My only shot! My chance to top The Corgis, Andy Bangs, everybody! My career is over! - Wait, stop Nom Nom! - Leave me alone! But Nom Nom! Just listen! The audience is calling for you.
- Huh? - [Chanting.]
Nom Nom! Nom Nom! What? [Chanting continues.]
[Cheers and applause.]
That's right, guys! It's me! [Laughs.]
Mwah, mwah! [Laughs.]
Whoo! [Laughs.]
- You did it, Nom Nom! - Whoo-hoo! - [Laughs.]
Whoo! - Man: I love you, Nom Nom! Love you too, so and so! [Cheers and applause continue.]
Oh, man, that felt amazing! I can't believe it! Ah! Nom Nom, you see.
You're such a success! Oh, no, no, no, let's keep this professional.
Oh, right, of course, Mr.
Nom Nom, sir.
Congratulations, Nom Nom! Ha! See? Everything turned out okay! The crowd just loves you, man! You're huge! Executive: [Clears throat.]
Nom Nom, darling.
I spoke to my network's board, and after this response we'd like to extend you for a full season! What? Really? The performances were all such a hit with the crowd, and we want to bring on the bears as regular co-hosts! [All gasp.]
We get to be in the show too?! Wait, no, no, no, no.
Why are they in on the deal? They're just a bunch of interns! Ice Bear will steal the show.
As usual.
The audience loved the chemistry you guys had.
To us, there's no "Nom Nom Show" without the Bears.
- So, what do you say, Nom Nom? - Do it, sir! Take the deal! [Groans.]
[Grunts.]
No, no, you know what? No.
No bears.
This is supposed to be my show.
Mine "The Nom Nom Show.
" It's just me, or I'm out! And good luck finding another cute Internet star that can carry this show! I'm all you got! Man: Live from the studio headquarters in Northern California, it's "The Hedgehog Show"! [Music.]
[Piano riff plays.]
[Wink.]
Man: Live from the studio headquarters in Northern California it's "The Nom Nom Show!" Tonight's guests Viral superstars Daredevil Dog [Barks.]
Shakespeare Baby.
[Babbling.]
And a performance by the Internet sensation, Amazing Ape! With music by Hedgehog and the Nom Nom Jam Band! And here's your host, Nom Nom! [Audience cheering.]
Hey! Mwah! Mwah! Uh-huh! [Audience cheering.]
[Plays solo on piano.]
Hey! [Laughs.]
Man: I love you Nom Nom! I love you too, grown adult! [Laughs.]
Thank you, thank you.
I'm Nom Nom, and welcome to my first-ever TV special, where the only stars brighter than here are in space! [Rim shot.]
[Man coughs.]
Man: Do something cute! [Laughs.]
Well, tonight, we've got a great show! [Chuckles.]
So don't change that channel, we'll be right back! [Music.]
[Muffled scream.]
Agent: It was all so great, Mr.
Nom Nom.
A+! It's gonna be amazing! Keep this up, and we're definitely getting a primetime show.
You'll be the king of the Internet and TV! Really great job, sir.
I'm pretty sure the executive loved it, too! I see a smile! Sir, I know if this special fails, people will laugh at you, and your career will go down the drain.
But regardless, I am still so proud of you.
[Growls.]
Okay, okay, okay! Just give me some space! Shoo, shoo! Give me a moment! [Groans.]
Where's my water? Interns, where's my water?! Grizzly: Uh, coming, Nom Nom! [Crash.]
[Rattling.]
Your eucalyptus water, Mr.
Nom Nom, sir.
Thanks again for this opportunity, man.
Yeah, Grizz says you're likeable now.
Ice Bear is hoping for redemptive arc.
[Gulps.]
Ugh, what am I even paying you for? - The internship's unpaid.
- We only get college credit.
Right.
I get free non-union labor.
You get industry experience.
I lost out on this deal.
Hey, Nom Nom, can I get you a refreshing strawberry water? - It'll make you feel better.
- Grizz! He only drinks eucalyptus water.
Ice Bear doesn't like water.
Too wet.
Aah! Enough! I need the show to go well.
Stop annoying me and bring me some food.
- Okey-dokey.
- Okey-dokey.
And be fast! Go! Be gone! [Clatter.]
[Grumbles.]
- Um, sir, we have a problem.
- What do you mean, "problem"? Daredevil Dog can't make it.
He, uh, called in injured.
Injured? How bad is it? [Music.]
[Dog barks.]
[Thuds.]
[Muffled bark.]
- What?! - We can fix this.
- What do you mean?! - We just need a replacement! How are we gonna just grab some nobody to replace him in less than two minutes? - Ugh! - Grizzly: Hey, Nom Nom! We found you some food! Not sure what it was doing in the backroom? Ronald: Hey! Where'd the cake for the after party go? Let us know if there's anything else you want us to do! Yep, we're free to do whatever you need! Hey, I got an idea.
[Audience cheering.]
[Music.]
Welcome back! So, some bad news, folks.
Daredevil Dog was unable to make it in tonight.
[Audience murmurs.]
Woman: Oh, what? [Laughs.]
Well, it's gonna be okay, 'cause we've got the next best thing! Introducing Daredevil Bear! Daredevil Bear is going to go down the ramp, over the spikes, threw a flaming hoop, a second hoop, more flaming hoops, a spider, over the ramp, through the daggers, over the piranha tank, and land safely over on the other side.
All: Ooh! He signed a waiver, right? All righty! Are you ready?! Um, Nom Nom, this doesn't look like a good idea.
What are you talking about? It's just that it looks a little dangerous.
[Laughs.]
Looks like he needs some motivation! Let's count down! 3, 2, 1! [Grizz screaming.]
[Screams.]
[Both screaming.]
[Music.]
Ow, ow, ow, ow, just stop tugging at it.
Wow, oh, it's really got you, man.
[Grunts.]
Ow, that hurt, you oaf! So sorry, Nom Nom, but everything's fine now! [Chuckles nervously.]
Good as new! Agent: Ah, Nom Nom! It's urgent! Oh, good, my agent's here to fix everything.
Well, actually, sir, Shakespeare Baby can't make it either.
He got into a fight with his twin, Opera Baby.
[Opera music playing.]
[Both crying.]
He lost his voice in a subsequent yelling match.
It was super cute and went viral, - but not good for us.
- What?! [Groans.]
Why is this happening?! Well, you're on in five! Okay, okay, we'll just have to work with it.
You! You're up! [Whimpers.]
You got this, bro! You're the best drama queen I know.
What? What is it? [Soft music plays.]
But, soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun! [Music.]
[Clears throat.]
- Arise, Fair sun! - Uh, whoa.
Oh, geez.
Where Wherefore art thou, uh, art thou? [Sneezes.]
Oh my.
Your lines, Juliet! Stick to your lines! I'm sorry, but these flowers! I think I'm allerg [Sneezing.]
[Laughter.]
Come on! Pull me up, pull me up! That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.
Be not her maid, since she is envious.
- Since she is envious.
- Well, I can't.
I'm really allergic to the Come on, just take the flowers already.
[Sneezes.]
[Screams.]
[Laughter.]
[Screaming.]
[Laughter continues.]
[Sneezing.]
[Grunts.]
You're ruining the act! Get it together, you [Both scream.]
[Crash.]
[Laughter.]
Oh, gosh, Nom Nom, I'm so, so [Sneezes.]
Great job, guys.
Sounds like you got the crowd going [Growls.]
Nom Nom, I'm so sorry for that.
That's it! You embarrassed me in front of the whole crowd! You're fired! Oh wait.
You're all fired! Agent: [Panting.]
Sir! Bad news, sir! I just got off the phone and Don't tell me.
The ape isn't gonna make it.
No.
He isn't real! Turns out he's just a fake Internet meme.
- We've been bamboozled, sir.
- Say no more.
Grizzly: So, uh, should we go? [Screaming.]
Now, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our last and final act.
Featuring my assistant, the amazing, last minute guest star Magic Bear! [Dramatic music plays.]
All: Ooh! I will be performing the ultimate escape from this box, while being completely submerged.
Observe! With a heavily fortified 200-pound door, along with two inches of the strongest glass.
All conditions impossible for escape.
Especially with handcuffs! [Dramatic music plays.]
[Clears throat.]
Magic Bear.
Handcuffs! All right, and there you have it folks.
Behold! I'm now clearly restrained.
I will have just seconds to escape.
Don't forget to leave the master key with me.
[Dramatic music plays.]
[Water splashes.]
[Lock clicks.]
This is the moment [Music.]
This is the moment [Gargling, muffled screaming.]
[Dramatic music.]
[Gasps.]
Nom Nom's in trouble! We're coming, Nom Nom! We're coming! [Laughter.]
[Whoopie cushion sounds.]
[Wings flap.]
[Keys jangling.]
No worries, Nom Nom.
We'll get you out of there! [Keys jangling.]
[Japanes flute plays.]
[Glass breaking.]
[Muffled screaming.]
[Water splashes.]
Oh, my gosh, Nom Nom.
Are you okay? Speak! [Gasping, coughing.]
[Laughter.]
[Air horn blows.]
[Laughter continues.]
[Cellphone beeps.]
Put me through to the network, please.
Wait, wait, wait! Wait, I can fix this! [Shudders.]
[Laughter.]
[Groaning.]
[Screams.]
[Grunts.]
[Music.]
[Nom Nom screaming.]
Ahh, he's coming this way! Nom Nom: Aah! It's over and done! [Screams.]
This was gonna be my own show! My only shot! My chance to top The Corgis, Andy Bangs, everybody! My career is over! - Wait, stop Nom Nom! - Leave me alone! But Nom Nom! Just listen! The audience is calling for you.
- Huh? - [Chanting.]
Nom Nom! Nom Nom! What? [Chanting continues.]
[Cheers and applause.]
That's right, guys! It's me! [Laughs.]
Mwah, mwah! [Laughs.]
Whoo! [Laughs.]
- You did it, Nom Nom! - Whoo-hoo! - [Laughs.]
Whoo! - Man: I love you, Nom Nom! Love you too, so and so! [Cheers and applause continue.]
Oh, man, that felt amazing! I can't believe it! Ah! Nom Nom, you see.
You're such a success! Oh, no, no, no, let's keep this professional.
Oh, right, of course, Mr.
Nom Nom, sir.
Congratulations, Nom Nom! Ha! See? Everything turned out okay! The crowd just loves you, man! You're huge! Executive: [Clears throat.]
Nom Nom, darling.
I spoke to my network's board, and after this response we'd like to extend you for a full season! What? Really? The performances were all such a hit with the crowd, and we want to bring on the bears as regular co-hosts! [All gasp.]
We get to be in the show too?! Wait, no, no, no, no.
Why are they in on the deal? They're just a bunch of interns! Ice Bear will steal the show.
As usual.
The audience loved the chemistry you guys had.
To us, there's no "Nom Nom Show" without the Bears.
- So, what do you say, Nom Nom? - Do it, sir! Take the deal! [Groans.]
[Grunts.]
No, no, you know what? No.
No bears.
This is supposed to be my show.
Mine "The Nom Nom Show.
" It's just me, or I'm out! And good luck finding another cute Internet star that can carry this show! I'm all you got! Man: Live from the studio headquarters in Northern California, it's "The Hedgehog Show"! [Music.]
[Piano riff plays.]
[Wink.]