Impractical Jokers (2017) s03e30 Episode Script
Just Say No
narrator: Coming up Will sal play his cards right? [ ding! .]
Will sal play his cards right? [ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
when did joe and q become two [ laughter .]
when did joe and q become two wild and crazy guys? When did joe and q become two wild and crazy guys? oh, yeah! Wild and crazy guys? oh, yeah! [ laughing .]
oh, yeah! oh, yeah! [ laughing .]
oh, yeah! narrator: And which joker [ laughing .]
oh, yeah! narrator: And which joker will take a pounding on the narrator: And which joker will take a pounding on the mound in tonight's punishment? Will take a pounding on the mound in tonight's punishment? [ spectators booing .]
Mound in tonight's punishment? [ spectators booing .]
[ tires screech .]
[ spectators booing .]
[ tires screech .]
prepare for something [ tires screech .]
prepare for something amazing.
prepare for something amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? Amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
i want my mommy! [ laughter .]
i want my mommy! [ laughter .]
i want my mommy! [ laughter .]
i will never forgive you! [ laughter .]
i will never forgive you! larry! i will never forgive you! larry! [ laughter .]
today, we're at foxwoods resort and casino, Foxwoods resort and casino, working as blackjack dealers! Working as blackjack dealers! and while we're dealing the and while we're dealing the cards, the other guys are gonna Cards, the other guys are gonna be dealing up everything that we Be dealing up everything that we have to do and say.
Have to do and say.
you know if you refuse, you you know if you refuse, you lose! Lose! come on, sevens! come on, sevens! [ machine beeping .]
[ machine beeping .]
are we ready to go? joe, you'd consider yourself an excellent blackjack player, An excellent blackjack player, right? Right? yeah.
yeah.
what's the most you ever won what's the most you ever won and lost at blackjack? And lost at blackjack? a lot and a very lot.
a lot and a very lot.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
hey, guys.
Welcome.
Hey, guys.
Welcome.
Got it.
Changing $500.
Got it.
Changing $500.
start pushing him on the warm start pushing him on the warm fish specials that they're serving upstairs.
Fish specials that they're serving upstairs.
uh, have you guys eaten here Serving upstairs.
uh, have you guys eaten here yet or no? uh, have you guys eaten here yet or no? Did you try the buffet? Yet or no? Did you try the buffet? yeah, we've been here all Did you try the buffet? yeah, we've been here all week.
yeah, we've been here all week.
oh, you've been here all Week.
oh, you've been here all week? oh, you've been here all week? Did you try the buffet? Week? Did you try the buffet? They got a warm fish special.
Did you try the buffet? They got a warm fish special.
It's honestly one of the best They got a warm fish special.
It's honestly one of the best warm fish salads in all of It's honestly one of the best warm fish salads in all of connecticut.
Warm fish salads in all of connecticut.
see if the pit boss will get Connecticut.
see if the pit boss will get you some warm fish down there.
see if the pit boss will get you some warm fish down there.
could we get some warm fish You some warm fish down there.
could we get some warm fish salad down here for my friends? could we get some warm fish salad down here for my friends? [ laughter .]
Salad down here for my friends? [ laughter .]
call up to -- call up to javier.
[ laughter .]
call up to -- call up to javier.
Ask him if we can get a warm Call up to -- call up to javier.
Ask him if we can get a warm fish salad? Ask him if we can get a warm fish salad? Thank you.
Fish salad? Thank you.
are you serious? Thank you.
are you serious? you know, if i could have it are you serious? you know, if i could have it my way, i'd have javier you know, if i could have it my way, i'd have javier shoveling warm fish salad right My way, i'd have javier shoveling warm fish salad right into my mouth hole.
Shoveling warm fish salad right into my mouth hole.
[ laughter .]
Into my mouth hole.
[ laughter .]
my wife makes a warm fish salad.
[ laughter .]
my wife makes a warm fish salad.
It'll blow your balls off.
My wife makes a warm fish salad.
It'll blow your balls off.
[ laughter .]
It'll blow your balls off.
[ laughter .]
here's how she does it.
[ laughter .]
here's how she does it.
She takes some warm fish.
here's how she does it.
She takes some warm fish.
[ laughs .]
She takes some warm fish.
[ laughs .]
she mixes it [ laughs .]
she mixes it [ laughter .]
she mixes it [ laughter .]
With some salad! [ laughter .]
With some salad! [ laughs .]
With some salad! [ laughs .]
this is how she does it.
[ laughs .]
this is how she does it.
She takes a nice warm fish.
this is how she does it.
She takes a nice warm fish.
She mixes it up into a salad.
She takes a nice warm fish.
She mixes it up into a salad.
Boom, balls right off! She mixes it up into a salad.
Boom, balls right off! [ laughter .]
Boom, balls right off! [ laughter .]
joe, say nothing else now [ laughter .]
joe, say nothing else now except "warm fish.
" joe, say nothing else now except "warm fish.
" it's basically like we're Except "warm fish.
" it's basically like we're just gonna beat this to death it's basically like we're just gonna beat this to death then, right? Just gonna beat this to death then, right? [ laughter .]
Then, right? [ laughter .]
warm fish.
[ laughter .]
warm fish.
now, i should stay, right? Warm fish.
now, i should stay, right? now, i should stay, right? warm fish salad.
warm fish salad.
okay.
warm fish salad.
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
sal's on the floor at this [ laughter .]
sal's on the floor at this point.
sal's on the floor at this point.
[ squeals .]
Point.
[ squeals .]
[ laughter .]
[ squeals .]
[ laughter .]
19, 18, 12.
[ laughter .]
19, 18, 12.
it's a two! It's a deuce! 19, 18, 12.
it's a two! It's a deuce! Is that a deuce?! it's a two! It's a deuce! Is that a deuce?! joey, tell him you got to go Is that a deuce?! joey, tell him you got to go drop the deuce of farts in the joey, tell him you got to go drop the deuce of farts in the bathroom and then just walk Drop the deuce of farts in the bathroom and then just walk away.
Bathroom and then just walk away.
speaking of that, i got to go Away.
speaking of that, i got to go drop a deuce of farts in the speaking of that, i got to go drop a deuce of farts in the [ laughter .]
Drop a deuce of farts in the [ laughter .]
Bathroom.
[ laughter .]
Bathroom.
I'll just [claps.]
Bathroom.
I'll just [claps.]
[ laughter .]
I'll just [claps.]
[ laughter .]
what just happened? [ laughter .]
what just happened? [ laughter .]
what just happened? [ laughter .]
go back in like nothing [ laughter .]
go back in like nothing happened.
go back in like nothing happened.
can i interest you in some Happened.
can i interest you in some warm fish salad? can i interest you in some warm fish salad? [ laughter .]
Warm fish salad? [ laughter .]
excuse me one second.
[ laughter .]
excuse me one second.
[ laughter .]
Okay, yeah.
[ laughter continues .]
but, yeah, you like 50.
[ laughter continues .]
but, yeah, you like 50.
There you go -- warm fish salad! But, yeah, you like 50.
There you go -- warm fish salad! [ ding! .]
There you go -- warm fish salad! [ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
hi, guys.
How are you? [ laughter .]
hi, guys.
How are you? hi, there.
hi, guys.
How are you? hi, there.
sal, see the guy with the hi, there.
sal, see the guy with the girlfriend there? sal, see the guy with the girlfriend there? He's awfully cute, isn't he? Girlfriend there? He's awfully cute, isn't he? [ laughs .]
he's super cute.
He's awfully cute, isn't he? [ laughs .]
he's super cute.
Give him an extra chip just for [ laughs .]
he's super cute.
Give him an extra chip just for being cute.
Give him an extra chip just for being cute.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
thank you.
[ ding! .]
thank you.
[ laughter .]
thank you.
[ laughter .]
he winked at him! [ laughter .]
he winked at him! all right, uh, first card.
he winked at him! all right, uh, first card.
hey, sal, kiss his card all right, uh, first card.
hey, sal, kiss his card before you give it to him.
hey, sal, kiss his card before you give it to him.
19.
Before you give it to him.
19.
[ laughter .]
19.
[ laughter .]
six.
[ laughter .]
six.
okay.
six.
okay.
have 9.
okay.
have 9.
I would hit that again.
have 9.
I would hit that again.
now point to the boyfriend I would hit that again.
now point to the boyfriend and go, "i'd hit that, too.
" now point to the boyfriend and go, "i'd hit that, too.
" [ laughter .]
And go, "i'd hit that, too.
" [ laughter .]
i'd also hit that.
[ laughter .]
i'd also hit that.
All right.
i'd also hit that.
All right.
[ laughter .]
All right.
[ laughter .]
hello.
How are you? [ laughter .]
hello.
How are you? your waist -- it's really hello.
How are you? your waist -- it's really bugging you, your waste, so your waist -- it's really bugging you, your waste, so start moving your waist around.
Bugging you, your waste, so start moving your waist around.
geez.
Start moving your waist around.
geez.
My waist is geez.
My waist is sorry, it's my boner.
My waist is sorry, it's my boner.
no.
sorry, it's my boner.
no.
[ laughter .]
no.
[ laughter .]
trying to deal with this [ laughter .]
trying to deal with this boner.
trying to deal with this boner.
[ laughter .]
Boner.
[ laughter .]
you know, while i was driving [ laughter .]
you know, while i was driving to work last night, something you know, while i was driving to work last night, something dashed out of the woods, and i To work last night, something dashed out of the woods, and i clipped it.
Dashed out of the woods, and i clipped it.
20 here.
Clipped it.
20 here.
You know, when i was driving to 20 here.
You know, when i was driving to work last night, something You know, when i was driving to work last night, something dashed out in front of my car Work last night, something dashed out in front of my car while i was driving in.
Dashed out in front of my car while i was driving in.
I clipped it.
While i was driving in.
I clipped it.
wow.
I clipped it.
wow.
i just sped up.
I kept going.
wow.
i just sped up.
I kept going.
[ laughter .]
i just sped up.
I kept going.
[ laughter .]
i just sped up.
I kept going.
[ laughter .]
i just sped up.
I kept going.
[ laughter .]
i just sped up.
I kept going.
[ laughter .]
i mean, there was some damage [ laughter .]
i mean, there was some damage and some hair on my fender this i mean, there was some damage and some hair on my fender this morning.
And some hair on my fender this morning.
there was some mage and Morning.
there was some mage and hair on the fender.
there was some mage and hair on the fender.
bicycle helmet on the grille.
Hair on the fender.
bicycle helmet on the grille.
[ laughter .]
bicycle helmet on the grille.
[ laughter .]
there was a bicycle helmet on [ laughter .]
there was a bicycle helmet on the side of the road.
there was a bicycle helmet on the side of the road.
i may have killed someone.
The side of the road.
i may have killed someone.
i may have killed someone i may have killed someone.
i may have killed someone last night.
i may have killed someone last night.
staying on 17 and 18.
Last night.
staying on 17 and 18.
this boner hasn't gone down staying on 17 and 18.
this boner hasn't gone down since.
this boner hasn't gone down since.
[ laughter .]
Since.
[ laughter .]
what i'm saying is, i've had [ laughter .]
what i'm saying is, i've had this boner since i clipped that what i'm saying is, i've had this boner since i clipped that cyclist on route 24.
This boner since i clipped that cyclist on route 24.
[ laughter .]
Cyclist on route 24.
[ laughter .]
what i'm trying to say is, [ laughter .]
what i'm trying to say is, i've had been this boner since i what i'm trying to say is, i've had been this boner since i clipped that I've had been this boner since i clipped that [ laughs .]
Clipped that [ laughs .]
i've had a boner since i [ laughs .]
i've had a boner since i clipped that i've had a boner since i clipped that [ laughter .]
Clipped that [ laughter .]
i've -- yeah, okay, i've had a [ laughter .]
i've -- yeah, okay, i've had a boner since i clipped that I've -- yeah, okay, i've had a boner since i clipped that cyclist on route 24 last night.
Boner since i clipped that cyclist on route 24 last night.
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
play some blackjack.
[ sneezes .]
play some blackjack.
[ sneezes .]
gross.
[ sneezes .]
gross.
come on, man, you're missing gross.
come on, man, you're missing the action.
come on, man, you're missing the action.
i'll quit the show.
The action.
i'll quit the show.
[ laughs .]
i'll quit the show.
[ laughs .]
welcome, folks.
welcome, folks.
Welcome to foxwoods.
deal to the girl and ask her Welcome to foxwoods.
deal to the girl and ask her to take it and pass it down.
deal to the girl and ask her to take it and pass it down.
could you just pass those To take it and pass it down.
could you just pass those down? could you just pass those down? Take one and pass them down.
Down? Take one and pass them down.
why are we passing? Take one and pass them down.
why are we passing? [ laughter .]
why are we passing? [ laughter .]
i'm sorry? [ laughter .]
i'm sorry? now deal them all facedown, i'm sorry? now deal them all facedown, buddy.
now deal them all facedown, buddy.
they're all facedown, right? Buddy.
they're all facedown, right? no, deal me up, deal me up.
they're all facedown, right? no, deal me up, deal me up.
so i'm dealing them all no, deal me up, deal me up.
so i'm dealing them all facedown.
so i'm dealing them all facedown.
up, up, up, up.
Facedown.
up, up, up, up.
[ laughs .]
up, up, up, up.
[ laughs .]
i put both of mine face up? [ laughs .]
i put both of mine face up? Got it.
I have two sixes.
i put both of mine face up? Got it.
I have two sixes.
[ laughter .]
Got it.
I have two sixes.
[ laughter .]
how are you guys? [ laughter .]
how are you guys? great! How are you guys? great! okay, that's 16.
great! okay, that's 16.
i want to split them.
okay, that's 16.
i want to split them.
split.
i want to split them.
split.
yes, i want to go like that.
split.
yes, i want to go like that.
don't touch your cards! yes, i want to go like that.
don't touch your cards! don't touch the cards! don't touch your cards! don't touch the cards! [ laughter .]
don't touch the cards! [ laughter .]
she has so much disdain! [ laughter .]
she has so much disdain! i know! she has so much disdain! i know! i'm coming for those.
i know! i'm coming for those.
I'm gonna get those.
i'm coming for those.
I'm gonna get those.
You see the rest of those chips? I'm gonna get those.
You see the rest of those chips? i'm counting 'em.
You see the rest of those chips? i'm counting 'em.
i'm coming for 'em.
i'm counting 'em.
i'm coming for 'em.
[ laughs .]
i'm coming for 'em.
[ laughs .]
i'm gonna take every single [ laughs .]
i'm gonna take every single last one of 'em.
i'm gonna take every single last one of 'em.
i'm scared.
Last one of 'em.
i'm scared.
[ laughter .]
i'm scared.
[ laughter .]
okay, good luck, folks.
[ laughter .]
okay, good luck, folks.
are you sure that's all you okay, good luck, folks.
are you sure that's all you want to bet? are you sure that's all you want to bet? What's this? Want to bet? What's this? And pull a chip from his ear.
What's this? And pull a chip from his ear.
sir, is that all you'd like And pull a chip from his ear.
sir, is that all you'd like to bet? sir, is that all you'd like to bet? Are you sure? To bet? Are you sure? What about this Are you sure? What about this [ ding! .]
What about this [ ding! .]
Extra chip? [ ding! .]
Extra chip? [ laughter .]
Extra chip? [ laughter .]
have them all clap, have them [ laughter .]
have them all clap, have them all clap! have them all clap, have them all clap! [ laughter .]
All clap! [ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
hello.
hi.
How are you? hello.
hi.
How are you? good.
How are you? hi.
How are you? good.
How are you? good.
Thanks.
good.
How are you? good.
Thanks.
okay.
good.
Thanks.
okay.
q, give her one green chip okay.
q, give her one green chip for the pink one.
q, give her one green chip for the pink one.
all right, changing $500.
For the pink one.
all right, changing $500.
thank you.
thank you.
okay.
you got to give her more than okay.
you got to give her more than that.
you got to give her more than that.
[ laughter .]
That.
[ laughter .]
wait, could we start -- could [ laughter .]
wait, could we start -- could we start over, could we start wait, could we start -- could we start over, could we start over? We start over, could we start over? can we -- can we start over? Over? can we -- can we start over? Can we just start over? can we -- can we start over? Can we just start over? yeah.
Can we just start over? yeah.
could you just get up and yeah.
could you just get up and come back over to the table? could you just get up and come back over to the table? could you just get up and Come back over to the table? could you just get up and come back to the table? could you just get up and come back to the table? [ laughs .]
Come back to the table? [ laughs .]
thank you.
[ laughs .]
thank you.
[ laughs .]
thank you.
[ laughs .]
hi! Welcome, welcome! [ laughs .]
hi! Welcome, welcome! thank you! hi! Welcome, welcome! thank you! hey, where are you from? thank you! hey, where are you from? where are you from? hey, where are you from? where are you from? [ chuckles .]
where are you from? [ chuckles .]
plymouth, massachusetts.
[ chuckles .]
plymouth, massachusetts.
plymouth, massachusetts.
plymouth, massachusetts.
plymouth, massachusetts.
no, no, you're not.
plymouth, massachusetts.
no, no, you're not.
You're not from massachusetts.
no, no, you're not.
You're not from massachusetts.
no, you're not.
You're not from massachusetts.
no, you're not.
i'm not? no, you're not.
i'm not? can you just get up again and i'm not? can you just get up again and come back and say you're from can you just get up again and come back and say you're from new york city? Come back and say you're from new york city? could you just go back and New york city? could you just go back and say you're from new york city could you just go back and say you're from new york city when i ask you that? Say you're from new york city when i ask you that? [ laughs .]
When i ask you that? [ laughs .]
'cause i have a great joke.
[ laughs .]
'cause i have a great joke.
'cause i have a great joke.
'cause i have a great joke.
'cause i have a great joke.
All right, here we go.
'cause i have a great joke.
All right, here we go.
here she comes, here she All right, here we go.
here she comes, here she comes.
here she comes, here she comes.
oh, hi! How are you? Comes.
oh, hi! How are you? good.
And you? oh, hi! How are you? good.
And you? where are you from? good.
And you? where are you from? new york city.
where are you from? new york city.
oh, i love your cheesesteaks! new york city.
oh, i love your cheesesteaks! oh, i love your cheesesteaks! oh, i love your cheesesteaks! oh, i love your cheesesteaks! [ laughter .]
oh, i love your cheesesteaks! [ laughter .]
oh, that's philadelphia! [ laughter .]
oh, that's philadelphia! that's philadelphia.
oh, that's philadelphia! that's philadelphia.
that's all right.
that's philadelphia.
that's all right.
[ laughs .]
that's all right.
[ laughs .]
you're gonna double your [ laughs .]
you're gonna double your money, my friend.
you're gonna double your money, my friend.
ah, yes.
Money, my friend.
ah, yes.
you know, blackjack is just ah, yes.
you know, blackjack is just like my love life.
you know, blackjack is just like my love life.
you know, blackjack is, uh, Like my love life.
you know, blackjack is, uh, just like my love life.
you know, blackjack is, uh, just like my love life.
i always hit on 16.
Just like my love life.
i always hit on 16.
You know what i mean? i always hit on 16.
You know what i mean? [ laughter .]
You know what i mean? [ laughter .]
keep name-dropping [ laughter .]
keep name-dropping smash mouth, the band.
keep name-dropping smash mouth, the band.
i, um, used to deal Smash mouth, the band.
i, um, used to deal exclusively for, uh, i, um, used to deal exclusively for, uh, smash mouth.
Exclusively for, uh, smash mouth.
You know the band smash mouth? Smash mouth.
You know the band smash mouth? yeah, of course.
You know the band smash mouth? yeah, of course.
i ran with that smash mouth yeah, of course.
i ran with that smash mouth crew.
i ran with that smash mouth crew.
Man, they were the best.
Crew.
Man, they were the best.
Smash mouth, man, smash mouth.
Man, they were the best.
Smash mouth, man, smash mouth.
Anyway, insurance.
Smash mouth, man, smash mouth.
Anyway, insurance.
[ laughs .]
Anyway, insurance.
[ laughs .]
sorry, guys, sorry.
[ laughs .]
sorry, guys, sorry.
That's it.
sorry, guys, sorry.
That's it.
well, uh, but that was my -- That's it.
well, uh, but that was my -- but that was my money.
well, uh, but that was my -- but that was my money.
q, that guy's coming in hot.
But that was my money.
q, that guy's coming in hot.
oh, you're coming in pretty q, that guy's coming in hot.
oh, you're coming in pretty hot, bro.
oh, you're coming in pretty hot, bro.
i'm trying.
Hot, bro.
i'm trying.
you might as well be walking i'm trying.
you might as well be walking on the sun.
you might as well be walking on the sun.
smash mouth song.
On the sun.
smash mouth song.
smash mouth song.
smash mouth song.
smash mouth song.
[ laughter .]
smash mouth song.
[ laughter .]
nice.
[ laughter .]
nice.
collect the money like nice.
collect the money like scrooge mcduck.
collect the money like scrooge mcduck.
all right, come here and Scrooge mcduck.
all right, come here and there.
all right, come here and there.
[ laughs .]
There.
[ laughs .]
good luck.
[ laughs .]
good luck.
thank you! Good luck! good luck.
thank you! Good luck! thank you.
Thanks, guys.
thank you! Good luck! thank you.
Thanks, guys.
Smash mouth.
thank you.
Thanks, guys.
Smash mouth.
[ ding! .]
Smash mouth.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
narrator: No one went bust, [ laughter .]
narrator: No one went bust, so all four jokers are safe from narrator: No one went bust, so all four jokers are safe from the loser board.
today, we're playing a little game, guess what you got to do.
Game, guess what you got to do.
each team will have to each team will have to perform an action, but only one Perform an action, but only one of the team members will know Of the team members will know what it is.
What it is.
the teammate that knows the the teammate that knows the action will have to give his Action will have to give his partner hints to figure out what Partner hints to figure out what he has to do.
He has to do.
if you cannot guess what your if you cannot guess what your task is and perform it, you are Task is and perform it, you are a loser! A loser! sal's gonna give clues.
sal's gonna give clues.
I'm gonna guess.
I'm gonna guess.
okay, take out your earpiece, okay, take out your earpiece, murr.
Murr.
okay, here's goes the okay, here's goes the earpiece.
Earpiece.
murray's got to, uh, pull a murray's got to, uh, pull a quarter from someone's ear.
Quarter from someone's ear.
A little old magic trick.
A little old magic trick.
can i put the earpiece back can i put the earpiece back in? In? all right, boys, good luck.
all right, boys, good luck.
um um Well, i love this park 'cause i Well, i love this park 'cause i love -- i love all the Love -- i love all the musicians, the street Musicians, the street performers, the magicians, like, Performers, the magicians, like, everything -- everybody that Everything -- everybody that comes here.
Comes here.
oh! oh! There you go! that's a hint! There you go! that's a hint! got it.
that's a hint! got it.
Got it.
got it.
Got it.
I'm a street performer.
Got it.
I'm a street performer.
I'm gonna do a I'm a street performer.
I'm gonna do a [ laughing .]
a street I'm gonna do a [ laughing .]
a street performer.
[ laughing .]
a street performer.
Cartwheel.
oh, that's a good one, murr.
Idiot.
Idiot.
[ laughs, claps .]
[ laughs, claps .]
could i have some tip? could i have some tip? no, your tip is, you're no, your tip is, you're wrong! [ laughs .]
Wrong! [ laughs .]
you know what used to be [ laughs .]
you know what used to be great when we were kids? you know what used to be great when we were kids? what? Great when we were kids? what? those -- those little what? those -- those little fruit-punch drinks.
oh! there you go! there you go! i see where you're going with i see where you're going with this.
This.
you, like, poke the hole you, like, poke the hole through the foil with your Through the foil with your finger.
Finger.
oh, yeah, i remember those.
oh, yeah, i remember those.
in staten island, they used in staten island, they used to call 'em "quarter drinks.
" come with me.
To call 'em "quarter drinks.
" come with me.
okay.
come with me.
okay.
excuse me, miss, is this your okay.
excuse me, miss, is this your bag? excuse me, miss, is this your bag? oh, yeah.
Bag? oh, yeah.
do you have any extra drinks, oh, yeah.
do you have any extra drinks, like, for kids in here? do you have any extra drinks, like, for kids in here? [ laughs .]
Like, for kids in here? [ laughs .]
oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
oh, my god.
Oh, my god, he's going through oh, my god.
Oh, my god, he's going through [bleep.]
someone's bag.
Oh, my god, he's going through [bleep.]
someone's bag.
they're not in here? [bleep.]
someone's bag.
they're not in here? How about in here -- no extra they're not in here? How about in here -- no extra drinks? How about in here -- no extra drinks? no, we don't have any.
Drinks? no, we don't have any.
hey, weirdo, that's not it! no, we don't have any.
hey, weirdo, that's not it! [ laughter .]
you thought was -- you thought it was go through -- go Thought it was go through -- go through a child's bag? Through a child's bag? [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
this is it, guys -- last this is it, guys -- last chance.
Chance.
last chance.
last chance.
so he either gets it or he so he either gets it or he doesn't.
Doesn't.
kids are amazed at the kids are amazed at the littlest things.
Littlest things.
um um Oh! Oh! ohhhh! ohhhh! no one's got to even say anything? no one's got to even say anything? sir, can i show you a quick Anything? sir, can i show you a quick magic trick? sir, can i show you a quick magic trick? I'm trying to get it right.
Magic trick? I'm trying to get it right.
Just tell me if you believe it.
I'm trying to get it right.
Just tell me if you believe it.
There's a quarter.
Just tell me if you believe it.
There's a quarter.
It disappears.
There's a quarter.
It disappears.
And it's behind your ear! It disappears.
And it's behind your ear! [ all shout .]
And it's behind your ear! [ all shout .]
he did it! He did it! [ all shout .]
he did it! He did it! what the -- what the hell he did it! He did it! what the -- what the hell kind of -- what kind of high what the -- what the hell kind of -- what kind of high five was that?! Kind of -- what kind of high five was that?! he's got him! Five was that?! he's got him! hey, for your next trick, he's got him! hey, for your next trick, learn how to give a high five.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
all right, q, take your [ laughter .]
all right, q, take your earpiece out.
all right, q, take your earpiece out.
okay.
Earpiece out.
okay.
all right [chuckles.]
q has to okay.
all right [chuckles.]
q has to put someone in a headlock.
all right [chuckles.]
q has to put someone in a headlock.
[ laughter .]
Put someone in a headlock.
[ laughter .]
what? [ laughter .]
what? [ chuckles .]
what? [ chuckles .]
all right, here we go -- [ chuckles .]
all right, here we go -- earpiece back in.
all right, here we go -- earpiece back in.
all right, i'm back.
Earpiece back in.
all right, i'm back.
[ sighs .]
all right, i'm back.
[ sighs .]
what are we looking at here? [ sighs .]
what are we looking at here? you know, sometimes what are we looking at here? you know, sometimes Sometimes i get confused by Sometimes i get confused by things.
And i can't make heads or tails Things.
And i can't make heads or tails of it.
And i can't make heads or tails of it.
that's the clue?! Of it.
that's the clue?! heads or tails.
that's the clue?! heads or tails.
All right, well, it involves heads or tails.
All right, well, it involves someone's head or someone's ass.
All right, well, it involves someone's head or someone's ass.
[ laughs .]
Someone's head or someone's ass.
[ laughs .]
that's what i'm getting right [ laughs .]
that's what i'm getting right off the bat.
that's what i'm getting right off the bat.
[ laughing .]
Off the bat.
[ laughing .]
all right, guys, i think i [ laughing .]
all right, guys, i think i got this.
all right, guys, i think i got this.
good luck.
Got this.
good luck.
hey, man, good hustle, good good luck.
hey, man, good hustle, good hustle.
hey, man, good hustle, good hustle.
[ laughs .]
Hustle.
[ laughs .]
how was that? [ laughs .]
how was that? Heads or tails? how was that? Heads or tails? did you just palm a guy's Heads or tails? did you just palm a guy's ass?! did you just palm a guy's ass?! let me tell you something.
Ass?! let me tell you something.
That was one of the better asses let me tell you something.
That was one of the better asses i've ever palmed on a man That was one of the better asses i've ever palmed on a man before.
I've ever palmed on a man before.
[ laughter .]
Before.
[ laughter .]
i probably blame myself.
[ laughter .]
i probably blame myself.
yeah.
i probably blame myself.
yeah.
but no.
yeah.
but no.
all right, joey, next clue.
you know what i used to love about saturday mornings growing up? About saturday mornings growing up? what's that, buddy? Up? what's that, buddy? watching -- watching tv.
what's that, buddy? watching -- watching tv.
ah.
watching -- watching tv.
ah.
so many heroes on the tv, ah.
so many heroes on the tv, like great american heroes.
so many heroes on the tv, like great american heroes.
what?! Like great american heroes.
what?! oh, yeah! what?! oh, yeah! [ laughs .]
oh, yeah! [ laughs .]
are you doing are you doing randy "macho man" savage? that sounds like the kool-aid Randy "macho man" savage? that sounds like the kool-aid guy to me.
that sounds like the kool-aid guy to me.
i don't think i got it, but Guy to me.
i don't think i got it, but i'm working through it.
i don't think i got it, but i'm working through it.
Confusion, heads or tails.
I'm working through it.
Confusion, heads or tails.
There's a state of confusion.
Confusion, heads or tails.
There's a state of confusion.
You want me to confuse There's a state of confusion.
You want me to confuse someone You want me to confuse someone By -- by being the kool-aid guy.
Someone By -- by being the kool-aid guy.
[ laughs .]
By -- by being the kool-aid guy.
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
boom! Oh, yeah! [ laughter .]
boom! Oh, yeah! [ laughs .]
boom! Oh, yeah! [ laughs .]
[ deep voice .]
oh, no! [ laughs .]
[ deep voice .]
oh, no! [ laughs .]
[ deep voice .]
oh, no! [ laughs .]
if that was it, you nailed [ laughs .]
if that was it, you nailed it, but it's not it! if that was it, you nailed it, but it's not it! [ laughs .]
It, but it's not it! [ laughs .]
you know, unfortunately [ laughs .]
you know, unfortunately yeah.
you know, unfortunately yeah.
I couldn't get into my yeah.
I couldn't get into my apartment I couldn't get into my apartment Yesterday, and i had forgotten Apartment Yesterday, and i had forgotten my keys.
Yesterday, and i had forgotten my keys.
So i was My keys.
So i was locked out? [ fingers snap .]
is it a [bleep.]
headlock? is it a headlock? is it a [bleep.]
headlock? is it a headlock? It's a headlock.
I just got it.
is it a headlock? It's a headlock.
I just got it.
don't say nothing, joe.
It's a headlock.
I just got it.
don't say nothing, joe.
ow! [ inhales sharply .]
don't say nothing, joe.
ow! [ inhales sharply .]
[ groans .]
ow! [ inhales sharply .]
[ groans .]
[ groans .]
yeah.
[ groans .]
[ groans .]
yeah.
Oh, thanks, buddy.
Oh, thanks, buddy.
[ groans .]
[ laughs .]
[ groans .]
[ laughs .]
oh, headlock.
[ laughs .]
oh, headlock.
That's a headlock, right, if oh, headlock.
That's a headlock, right, if you -- yeah, that's a headlock? That's a headlock, right, if you -- yeah, that's a headlock? Okay, cool.
You -- yeah, that's a headlock? Okay, cool.
he got it, he got it, he got Okay, cool.
he got it, he got it, he got it! he got it, he got it, he got it! [ laughing .]
he got it! It! [ laughing .]
he got it! That was it! [ laughing .]
he got it! That was it! oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! That was it! oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! oh, yeah! oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! oh, yeah! oh, yeah! oh, yeah! oh, yeah! [ ding! .]
oh, yeah! [ ding! .]
narrator: Everyone was clued [ ding! .]
narrator: Everyone was clued in, so all four jokers are safe narrator: Everyone was clued in, so all four jokers are safe from the loser board.
get your shine box 'cause we're shining shoes today! We're shining shoes today! as we polish off strangers' as we polish off strangers' footwear, we have to do and say Footwear, we have to do and say what the other guys tell us.
What the other guys tell us.
if you refuse to do or say if you refuse to do or say anything, you lose.
Anything, you lose.
hold on! hold on! This is joker versus joker This is joker versus joker challenge! Challenge! yeah! yeah! free shoeshine! free shoeshine! Sir, would you like a free Sir, would you like a free shoeshine? Shoeshine? Jump on up.
Jump on up.
murr, pronounce the word murr, pronounce the word "polish" as the nationality "polish" as the nationality polish.
Polish.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
i'm -- now, what i'm doing i'm -- now, what i'm doing here is, i'm putting some polish on it.
Here is, i'm putting some polish on it.
[ laughter .]
On it.
[ laughter .]
so, i'm gonna get the clear [ laughter .]
so, i'm gonna get the clear polish right on it.
So, i'm gonna get the clear polish right on it.
When you put too much polish on Polish right on it.
When you put too much polish on the shoes [chuckles.]
just get When you put too much polish on the shoes [chuckles.]
just get confused.
The shoes [chuckles.]
just get confused.
[ laughter .]
Confused.
[ laughter .]
polish or polish? [ laughter .]
polish or polish? [ laughs .]
polish or polish? [ laughs .]
[ laughing .]
i don't know! [ laughs .]
[ laughing .]
i don't know! [ laughter .]
[ laughing .]
i don't know! [ laughter .]
all right, this right one [ laughter .]
all right, this right one looks done.
all right, this right one looks done.
uh, so, this one's done.
Looks done.
uh, so, this one's done.
so, give it a little kiss.
uh, so, this one's done.
so, give it a little kiss.
[ laughs .]
so, give it a little kiss.
[ laughs .]
just give it a little kiss.
[ laughs .]
just give it a little kiss.
[ laughter .]
just give it a little kiss.
[ laughter .]
all right.
[ laughter .]
all right.
oh! all right.
oh! okay, just, i, uh, i seal all oh! okay, just, i, uh, i seal all of my polishes with a kiss.
okay, just, i, uh, i seal all of my polishes with a kiss.
[ laughter .]
Of my polishes with a kiss.
[ laughter .]
oh! [ laughter .]
oh! [ laughs .]
oh! [ laughs .]
and i'm gonna leave that [ laughs .]
and i'm gonna leave that right there.
and i'm gonna leave that right there.
You take that with you.
Right there.
You take that with you.
[ ding! .]
You take that with you.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
what's going on, my friends? Yeah? Looking for a shoeshine? here we go! Yeah? Looking for a shoeshine? here we go! what is your name, sir? here we go! what is your name, sir? i'm out here, working for my what is your name, sir? i'm out here, working for my shoeshine blog.
i'm out here, working for my shoeshine blog.
i'm out here kind of working Shoeshine blog.
i'm out here kind of working for my shoeshine blog.
i'm out here kind of working for my shoeshine blog.
if you don't mind, could you For my shoeshine blog.
if you don't mind, could you just film me as i shoeshine your if you don't mind, could you just film me as i shoeshine your shoes? Just film me as i shoeshine your shoes? would you mind, uh, just Shoes? would you mind, uh, just filming me for my shoeshine Filming me for my shoeshine blog? Here, i'll shine.
You film.
have him interview you and have him interview you and make up the questions.
Make up the questions.
all right, go ahead.
all right, go ahead.
Interview me.
Interview me.
okay.
okay.
well, what happened is, my -- well, what happened is, my -- my mother used to shine shoes, My mother used to shine shoes, and then she died.
And then she died.
She got hit by a horse and She got hit by a horse and carriage.
Carriage.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ voice breaking .]
i miss her [ voice breaking .]
i miss her so much! So much! [ voice breaking .]
i mean -- [ voice breaking .]
i mean -- i mean, i just miss my mom so I mean, i just miss my mom so much.
Much.
[bleep.]
horses! [bleep.]
horses! [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
yeah.
yeah.
it's good, it's good.
it's good, it's good.
you know how to get me, man.
you know how to get me, man.
[ sighs .]
[ sighs .]
you know how to get me, man.
You know how to get me, man.
You're like the barbara walters You're like the barbara walters of businessman on lunch who gets shoeshines.
Of businessman on lunch who gets shoeshines.
[ laughter .]
Shoeshines.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
All right, thank you, man.
okay.
All right, thank you, man.
oh [bleep.]
it didn't record.
All right, thank you, man.
oh [bleep.]
it didn't record.
oh [bleep.]
oh [bleep.]
it didn't record.
oh [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
oh [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
did you not get it? [ laughter .]
did you not get it? it didn't record.
did you not get it? it didn't record.
All right, we'll just do it it didn't record.
All right, we'll just do it again real quick.
All right, we'll just do it again real quick.
We'll just get the whole Again real quick.
We'll just get the whole interview real quick.
We'll just get the whole interview real quick.
oh, my god! Interview real quick.
oh, my god! [ laughter .]
oh, my god! [ laughter .]
that was good.
[ laughter .]
that was good.
Ask me about my dead mother that was good.
Ask me about my dead mother again.
Ask me about my dead mother again.
[ laughter .]
Again.
[ laughter .]
so, brian, how did you start, [ laughter .]
so, brian, how did you start, uh so, brian, how did you start, uh oh, he's doing it! Uh oh, he's doing it! fantastic question, fantastic oh, he's doing it! fantastic question, fantastic question.
fantastic question, fantastic question.
[ laughter .]
Question.
[ laughter .]
so, what do you think? [ laughter .]
so, what do you think? They're looking pretty good, so, what do you think? They're looking pretty good, huh? They're looking pretty good, huh? q, spit on this guy's shoe Huh? q, spit on this guy's shoe and shine it.
q, spit on this guy's shoe and shine it.
[ laughter .]
And shine it.
[ laughter .]
uh [ laughter .]
uh go, just spit right on it.
uh go, just spit right on it.
uh go, just spit right on it.
uh [ laughter .]
uh [ laughter .]
all right, well, these shoes [ laughter .]
all right, well, these shoes are looking pretty good, man.
all right, well, these shoes are looking pretty good, man.
[ all groan .]
Are looking pretty good, man.
[ all groan .]
shout out the thumbs-down! [ all groan .]
shout out the thumbs-down! [ buzzer .]
shout out the thumbs-down! [ buzzer .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
[ laughter .]
narrator: Shout out to q! [ laughter .]
narrator: Shout out to q! He's tonight's big loser.
narrator: Shout out to q! He's tonight's big loser.
q lost, and we're here at the He's tonight's big loser.
q lost, and we're here at the brooklyn cyclones game for his q lost, and we're here at the brooklyn cyclones game for his punishment.
Brooklyn cyclones game for his punishment.
buddy, all you have to do is Punishment.
buddy, all you have to do is walk out there onto the buddy, all you have to do is walk out there onto the pitcher's mound and just say, Walk out there onto the pitcher's mound and just say, "no.
" Pitcher's mound and just say, "no.
" no? "no.
" no? no, no.
no? no, no.
both: No! no, no.
both: No! all right, well, obviously, both: No! all right, well, obviously, something else is going on.
all right, well, obviously, something else is going on.
all: Yes! Something else is going on.
all: Yes! [ laughter .]
all: Yes! [ laughter .]
i don't like this.
[ laughter .]
i don't like this.
[ organ music playing .]
Oh, god, what is this? Oh, god.
okay, q, you just got to say Oh, god.
okay, q, you just got to say no no matter what happens.
okay, q, you just got to say no no matter what happens.
oh, my, i'm on the -- i'm on No no matter what happens.
oh, my, i'm on the -- i'm on the jumbotron.
oh, my, i'm on the -- i'm on the jumbotron.
I don't like all these people The jumbotron.
I don't like all these people staring at me, guys.
I don't like all these people staring at me, guys.
Kindly ask you to please direct Staring at me, guys.
Kindly ask you to please direct your attention to the pitcher's Kindly ask you to please direct your attention to the pitcher's mound.
Your attention to the pitcher's mound.
Coming to the field, we have a Mound.
Coming to the field, we have a very special guest.
Coming to the field, we have a very special guest.
we have a very lovely lady Very special guest.
we have a very lovely lady that q has never seen before in we have a very lovely lady that q has never seen before in his life.
That q has never seen before in his life.
He's gonna go out and say a few His life.
He's gonna go out and say a few words right now.
He's gonna go out and say a few words right now.
[ laughs .]
Words right now.
[ laughs .]
she's a native of brooklyn, a [ laughs .]
she's a native of brooklyn, a fifth-generation coney island she's a native of brooklyn, a fifth-generation coney island resident, and a proud cyclone Fifth-generation coney island resident, and a proud cyclone season-ticket holder.
Resident, and a proud cyclone season-ticket holder.
She is the co-chairperson and Season-ticket holder.
She is the co-chairperson and founder of dream maker's She is the co-chairperson and founder of dream maker's children fund, a nonprofit Founder of dream maker's children fund, a nonprofit organization that specializes Children fund, a nonprofit organization that specializes in education and assisting Organization that specializes in education and assisting underprivileged children.
In education and assisting underprivileged children.
she's an amazing person.
Underprivileged children.
she's an amazing person.
sounds like an amazing lady.
she's an amazing person.
sounds like an amazing lady.
and she'd now like you to sounds like an amazing lady.
and she'd now like you to share in a very special moment and she'd now like you to share in a very special moment with her.
Share in a very special moment with her.
all right, okay.
With her.
all right, okay.
[ cheers and applause .]
all right, okay.
[ cheers and applause .]
so far, boys, this ain't so bad.
[ cheers and applause .]
so far, boys, this ain't so bad.
All right.
So far, boys, this ain't so bad.
All right.
Hi.
All right.
Hi.
honey Hi.
honey For the last seven years, you've honey For the last seven years, you've made me the happiest i've ever For the last seven years, you've made me the happiest i've ever been in my life.
Made me the happiest i've ever been in my life.
[ chuckles .]
Been in my life.
[ chuckles .]
you are my best friend.
[ chuckles .]
you are my best friend.
aww! you are my best friend.
aww! [ laughs .]
aww! [ laughs .]
my mentor [ laughs .]
my mentor mm.
my mentor mm.
My love, my heart, and my mm.
My love, my heart, and my world.
My love, my heart, and my world.
From the moment i met you, i World.
From the moment i met you, i knew this was something From the moment i met you, i knew this was something different -- something i've Knew this was something different -- something i've never experienced before.
Different -- something i've never experienced before.
I don't want to spend another Never experienced before.
I don't want to spend another minute on this earth not being I don't want to spend another minute on this earth not being your wife.
Minute on this earth not being your wife.
can you see what's happening? Your wife.
can you see what's happening? she is going for it.
can you see what's happening? she is going for it.
[ laughs .]
she is going for it.
[ laughs .]
brian michael quinn, will you [ laughs .]
brian michael quinn, will you marry me? brian michael quinn, will you marry me? just say no! Marry me? just say no! [ laughter .]
just say no! [ laughter .]
oh, god! [ laughter .]
oh, god! just say no! oh, god! just say no! [ cheers and applause .]
just say no! [ cheers and applause .]
no.
[ cheers and applause .]
no.
[ feedback .]
no.
[ feedback .]
[ spectators booing .]
[ laughter .]
i love your sense of humor.
i love your sense of humor.
That's one of the things i love That's one of the things i love best about you.
Best about you.
This time, i'm actually -- i'm This time, i'm actually -- i'm serious, for real.
Serious, for real.
My parents took the bus from My parents took the bus from tampa, and they're here tonight.
Tampa, and they're here tonight.
There they are, see? There they are, see? oh, god! oh, god! [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ cheers and applause .]
so, brian, with my parents as So, brian, with my parents as witnesses, all kidding aside in Witnesses, all kidding aside in front of the whole stadium Front of the whole stadium Will you marry me? Will you marry me? oh, my god, guy! [ laughter .]
oh, my god, guy! [ laughter .]
god! [ laughter .]
god! No.
god! No.
[ spectators booing .]
No.
[ spectators booing .]
is this a joke? [ spectators booing .]
is this a joke? [ laughs .]
is this a joke? [ laughs .]
no.
[ laughs .]
no.
i love you from the bottom of no.
i love you from the bottom of my heart! i love you from the bottom of my heart! I'm in front of all these My heart! I'm in front of all these people! I'm in front of all these people! Please marry me! People! Please marry me! [ laughing .]
no! Please marry me! [ laughing .]
no! n-no.
[ laughing .]
no! n-no.
[ indistinct shouting .]
n-no.
[ indistinct shouting .]
boo! [ indistinct shouting .]
boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! [ shouting continues .]
[ crying .]
excuse me.
[ crying .]
excuse me.
i'm sorry.
I'm sorry, honey.
Excuse me.
i'm sorry.
I'm sorry, honey.
excuse me.
i'm sorry.
I'm sorry, honey.
excuse me.
sorry.
excuse me.
sorry.
Now she's on the market if sorry.
Now she's on the market if anybody's interested.
Now she's on the market if anybody's interested.
oh, my god! Anybody's interested.
oh, my god! guys, this is the best oh, my god! guys, this is the best punishment ever.
guys, this is the best punishment ever.
no.
Punishment ever.
no.
all: Yes! no.
all: Yes! [ laughs .]
Will sal play his cards right? [ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
when did joe and q become two [ laughter .]
when did joe and q become two wild and crazy guys? When did joe and q become two wild and crazy guys? oh, yeah! Wild and crazy guys? oh, yeah! [ laughing .]
oh, yeah! oh, yeah! [ laughing .]
oh, yeah! narrator: And which joker [ laughing .]
oh, yeah! narrator: And which joker will take a pounding on the narrator: And which joker will take a pounding on the mound in tonight's punishment? Will take a pounding on the mound in tonight's punishment? [ spectators booing .]
Mound in tonight's punishment? [ spectators booing .]
[ tires screech .]
[ spectators booing .]
[ tires screech .]
prepare for something [ tires screech .]
prepare for something amazing.
prepare for something amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? Amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
i want my mommy! [ laughter .]
i want my mommy! [ laughter .]
i want my mommy! [ laughter .]
i will never forgive you! [ laughter .]
i will never forgive you! larry! i will never forgive you! larry! [ laughter .]
today, we're at foxwoods resort and casino, Foxwoods resort and casino, working as blackjack dealers! Working as blackjack dealers! and while we're dealing the and while we're dealing the cards, the other guys are gonna Cards, the other guys are gonna be dealing up everything that we Be dealing up everything that we have to do and say.
Have to do and say.
you know if you refuse, you you know if you refuse, you lose! Lose! come on, sevens! come on, sevens! [ machine beeping .]
[ machine beeping .]
are we ready to go? joe, you'd consider yourself an excellent blackjack player, An excellent blackjack player, right? Right? yeah.
yeah.
what's the most you ever won what's the most you ever won and lost at blackjack? And lost at blackjack? a lot and a very lot.
a lot and a very lot.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
hey, guys.
Welcome.
Hey, guys.
Welcome.
Got it.
Changing $500.
Got it.
Changing $500.
start pushing him on the warm start pushing him on the warm fish specials that they're serving upstairs.
Fish specials that they're serving upstairs.
uh, have you guys eaten here Serving upstairs.
uh, have you guys eaten here yet or no? uh, have you guys eaten here yet or no? Did you try the buffet? Yet or no? Did you try the buffet? yeah, we've been here all Did you try the buffet? yeah, we've been here all week.
yeah, we've been here all week.
oh, you've been here all Week.
oh, you've been here all week? oh, you've been here all week? Did you try the buffet? Week? Did you try the buffet? They got a warm fish special.
Did you try the buffet? They got a warm fish special.
It's honestly one of the best They got a warm fish special.
It's honestly one of the best warm fish salads in all of It's honestly one of the best warm fish salads in all of connecticut.
Warm fish salads in all of connecticut.
see if the pit boss will get Connecticut.
see if the pit boss will get you some warm fish down there.
see if the pit boss will get you some warm fish down there.
could we get some warm fish You some warm fish down there.
could we get some warm fish salad down here for my friends? could we get some warm fish salad down here for my friends? [ laughter .]
Salad down here for my friends? [ laughter .]
call up to -- call up to javier.
[ laughter .]
call up to -- call up to javier.
Ask him if we can get a warm Call up to -- call up to javier.
Ask him if we can get a warm fish salad? Ask him if we can get a warm fish salad? Thank you.
Fish salad? Thank you.
are you serious? Thank you.
are you serious? you know, if i could have it are you serious? you know, if i could have it my way, i'd have javier you know, if i could have it my way, i'd have javier shoveling warm fish salad right My way, i'd have javier shoveling warm fish salad right into my mouth hole.
Shoveling warm fish salad right into my mouth hole.
[ laughter .]
Into my mouth hole.
[ laughter .]
my wife makes a warm fish salad.
[ laughter .]
my wife makes a warm fish salad.
It'll blow your balls off.
My wife makes a warm fish salad.
It'll blow your balls off.
[ laughter .]
It'll blow your balls off.
[ laughter .]
here's how she does it.
[ laughter .]
here's how she does it.
She takes some warm fish.
here's how she does it.
She takes some warm fish.
[ laughs .]
She takes some warm fish.
[ laughs .]
she mixes it [ laughs .]
she mixes it [ laughter .]
she mixes it [ laughter .]
With some salad! [ laughter .]
With some salad! [ laughs .]
With some salad! [ laughs .]
this is how she does it.
[ laughs .]
this is how she does it.
She takes a nice warm fish.
this is how she does it.
She takes a nice warm fish.
She mixes it up into a salad.
She takes a nice warm fish.
She mixes it up into a salad.
Boom, balls right off! She mixes it up into a salad.
Boom, balls right off! [ laughter .]
Boom, balls right off! [ laughter .]
joe, say nothing else now [ laughter .]
joe, say nothing else now except "warm fish.
" joe, say nothing else now except "warm fish.
" it's basically like we're Except "warm fish.
" it's basically like we're just gonna beat this to death it's basically like we're just gonna beat this to death then, right? Just gonna beat this to death then, right? [ laughter .]
Then, right? [ laughter .]
warm fish.
[ laughter .]
warm fish.
now, i should stay, right? Warm fish.
now, i should stay, right? now, i should stay, right? warm fish salad.
warm fish salad.
okay.
warm fish salad.
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
sal's on the floor at this [ laughter .]
sal's on the floor at this point.
sal's on the floor at this point.
[ squeals .]
Point.
[ squeals .]
[ laughter .]
[ squeals .]
[ laughter .]
19, 18, 12.
[ laughter .]
19, 18, 12.
it's a two! It's a deuce! 19, 18, 12.
it's a two! It's a deuce! Is that a deuce?! it's a two! It's a deuce! Is that a deuce?! joey, tell him you got to go Is that a deuce?! joey, tell him you got to go drop the deuce of farts in the joey, tell him you got to go drop the deuce of farts in the bathroom and then just walk Drop the deuce of farts in the bathroom and then just walk away.
Bathroom and then just walk away.
speaking of that, i got to go Away.
speaking of that, i got to go drop a deuce of farts in the speaking of that, i got to go drop a deuce of farts in the [ laughter .]
Drop a deuce of farts in the [ laughter .]
Bathroom.
[ laughter .]
Bathroom.
I'll just [claps.]
Bathroom.
I'll just [claps.]
[ laughter .]
I'll just [claps.]
[ laughter .]
what just happened? [ laughter .]
what just happened? [ laughter .]
what just happened? [ laughter .]
go back in like nothing [ laughter .]
go back in like nothing happened.
go back in like nothing happened.
can i interest you in some Happened.
can i interest you in some warm fish salad? can i interest you in some warm fish salad? [ laughter .]
Warm fish salad? [ laughter .]
excuse me one second.
[ laughter .]
excuse me one second.
[ laughter .]
Okay, yeah.
[ laughter continues .]
but, yeah, you like 50.
[ laughter continues .]
but, yeah, you like 50.
There you go -- warm fish salad! But, yeah, you like 50.
There you go -- warm fish salad! [ ding! .]
There you go -- warm fish salad! [ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
hi, guys.
How are you? [ laughter .]
hi, guys.
How are you? hi, there.
hi, guys.
How are you? hi, there.
sal, see the guy with the hi, there.
sal, see the guy with the girlfriend there? sal, see the guy with the girlfriend there? He's awfully cute, isn't he? Girlfriend there? He's awfully cute, isn't he? [ laughs .]
he's super cute.
He's awfully cute, isn't he? [ laughs .]
he's super cute.
Give him an extra chip just for [ laughs .]
he's super cute.
Give him an extra chip just for being cute.
Give him an extra chip just for being cute.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
thank you.
[ ding! .]
thank you.
[ laughter .]
thank you.
[ laughter .]
he winked at him! [ laughter .]
he winked at him! all right, uh, first card.
he winked at him! all right, uh, first card.
hey, sal, kiss his card all right, uh, first card.
hey, sal, kiss his card before you give it to him.
hey, sal, kiss his card before you give it to him.
19.
Before you give it to him.
19.
[ laughter .]
19.
[ laughter .]
six.
[ laughter .]
six.
okay.
six.
okay.
have 9.
okay.
have 9.
I would hit that again.
have 9.
I would hit that again.
now point to the boyfriend I would hit that again.
now point to the boyfriend and go, "i'd hit that, too.
" now point to the boyfriend and go, "i'd hit that, too.
" [ laughter .]
And go, "i'd hit that, too.
" [ laughter .]
i'd also hit that.
[ laughter .]
i'd also hit that.
All right.
i'd also hit that.
All right.
[ laughter .]
All right.
[ laughter .]
hello.
How are you? [ laughter .]
hello.
How are you? your waist -- it's really hello.
How are you? your waist -- it's really bugging you, your waste, so your waist -- it's really bugging you, your waste, so start moving your waist around.
Bugging you, your waste, so start moving your waist around.
geez.
Start moving your waist around.
geez.
My waist is geez.
My waist is sorry, it's my boner.
My waist is sorry, it's my boner.
no.
sorry, it's my boner.
no.
[ laughter .]
no.
[ laughter .]
trying to deal with this [ laughter .]
trying to deal with this boner.
trying to deal with this boner.
[ laughter .]
Boner.
[ laughter .]
you know, while i was driving [ laughter .]
you know, while i was driving to work last night, something you know, while i was driving to work last night, something dashed out of the woods, and i To work last night, something dashed out of the woods, and i clipped it.
Dashed out of the woods, and i clipped it.
20 here.
Clipped it.
20 here.
You know, when i was driving to 20 here.
You know, when i was driving to work last night, something You know, when i was driving to work last night, something dashed out in front of my car Work last night, something dashed out in front of my car while i was driving in.
Dashed out in front of my car while i was driving in.
I clipped it.
While i was driving in.
I clipped it.
wow.
I clipped it.
wow.
i just sped up.
I kept going.
wow.
i just sped up.
I kept going.
[ laughter .]
i just sped up.
I kept going.
[ laughter .]
i just sped up.
I kept going.
[ laughter .]
i just sped up.
I kept going.
[ laughter .]
i just sped up.
I kept going.
[ laughter .]
i mean, there was some damage [ laughter .]
i mean, there was some damage and some hair on my fender this i mean, there was some damage and some hair on my fender this morning.
And some hair on my fender this morning.
there was some mage and Morning.
there was some mage and hair on the fender.
there was some mage and hair on the fender.
bicycle helmet on the grille.
Hair on the fender.
bicycle helmet on the grille.
[ laughter .]
bicycle helmet on the grille.
[ laughter .]
there was a bicycle helmet on [ laughter .]
there was a bicycle helmet on the side of the road.
there was a bicycle helmet on the side of the road.
i may have killed someone.
The side of the road.
i may have killed someone.
i may have killed someone i may have killed someone.
i may have killed someone last night.
i may have killed someone last night.
staying on 17 and 18.
Last night.
staying on 17 and 18.
this boner hasn't gone down staying on 17 and 18.
this boner hasn't gone down since.
this boner hasn't gone down since.
[ laughter .]
Since.
[ laughter .]
what i'm saying is, i've had [ laughter .]
what i'm saying is, i've had this boner since i clipped that what i'm saying is, i've had this boner since i clipped that cyclist on route 24.
This boner since i clipped that cyclist on route 24.
[ laughter .]
Cyclist on route 24.
[ laughter .]
what i'm trying to say is, [ laughter .]
what i'm trying to say is, i've had been this boner since i what i'm trying to say is, i've had been this boner since i clipped that I've had been this boner since i clipped that [ laughs .]
Clipped that [ laughs .]
i've had a boner since i [ laughs .]
i've had a boner since i clipped that i've had a boner since i clipped that [ laughter .]
Clipped that [ laughter .]
i've -- yeah, okay, i've had a [ laughter .]
i've -- yeah, okay, i've had a boner since i clipped that I've -- yeah, okay, i've had a boner since i clipped that cyclist on route 24 last night.
Boner since i clipped that cyclist on route 24 last night.
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
play some blackjack.
[ sneezes .]
play some blackjack.
[ sneezes .]
gross.
[ sneezes .]
gross.
come on, man, you're missing gross.
come on, man, you're missing the action.
come on, man, you're missing the action.
i'll quit the show.
The action.
i'll quit the show.
[ laughs .]
i'll quit the show.
[ laughs .]
welcome, folks.
welcome, folks.
Welcome to foxwoods.
deal to the girl and ask her Welcome to foxwoods.
deal to the girl and ask her to take it and pass it down.
deal to the girl and ask her to take it and pass it down.
could you just pass those To take it and pass it down.
could you just pass those down? could you just pass those down? Take one and pass them down.
Down? Take one and pass them down.
why are we passing? Take one and pass them down.
why are we passing? [ laughter .]
why are we passing? [ laughter .]
i'm sorry? [ laughter .]
i'm sorry? now deal them all facedown, i'm sorry? now deal them all facedown, buddy.
now deal them all facedown, buddy.
they're all facedown, right? Buddy.
they're all facedown, right? no, deal me up, deal me up.
they're all facedown, right? no, deal me up, deal me up.
so i'm dealing them all no, deal me up, deal me up.
so i'm dealing them all facedown.
so i'm dealing them all facedown.
up, up, up, up.
Facedown.
up, up, up, up.
[ laughs .]
up, up, up, up.
[ laughs .]
i put both of mine face up? [ laughs .]
i put both of mine face up? Got it.
I have two sixes.
i put both of mine face up? Got it.
I have two sixes.
[ laughter .]
Got it.
I have two sixes.
[ laughter .]
how are you guys? [ laughter .]
how are you guys? great! How are you guys? great! okay, that's 16.
great! okay, that's 16.
i want to split them.
okay, that's 16.
i want to split them.
split.
i want to split them.
split.
yes, i want to go like that.
split.
yes, i want to go like that.
don't touch your cards! yes, i want to go like that.
don't touch your cards! don't touch the cards! don't touch your cards! don't touch the cards! [ laughter .]
don't touch the cards! [ laughter .]
she has so much disdain! [ laughter .]
she has so much disdain! i know! she has so much disdain! i know! i'm coming for those.
i know! i'm coming for those.
I'm gonna get those.
i'm coming for those.
I'm gonna get those.
You see the rest of those chips? I'm gonna get those.
You see the rest of those chips? i'm counting 'em.
You see the rest of those chips? i'm counting 'em.
i'm coming for 'em.
i'm counting 'em.
i'm coming for 'em.
[ laughs .]
i'm coming for 'em.
[ laughs .]
i'm gonna take every single [ laughs .]
i'm gonna take every single last one of 'em.
i'm gonna take every single last one of 'em.
i'm scared.
Last one of 'em.
i'm scared.
[ laughter .]
i'm scared.
[ laughter .]
okay, good luck, folks.
[ laughter .]
okay, good luck, folks.
are you sure that's all you okay, good luck, folks.
are you sure that's all you want to bet? are you sure that's all you want to bet? What's this? Want to bet? What's this? And pull a chip from his ear.
What's this? And pull a chip from his ear.
sir, is that all you'd like And pull a chip from his ear.
sir, is that all you'd like to bet? sir, is that all you'd like to bet? Are you sure? To bet? Are you sure? What about this Are you sure? What about this [ ding! .]
What about this [ ding! .]
Extra chip? [ ding! .]
Extra chip? [ laughter .]
Extra chip? [ laughter .]
have them all clap, have them [ laughter .]
have them all clap, have them all clap! have them all clap, have them all clap! [ laughter .]
All clap! [ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
hello.
hi.
How are you? hello.
hi.
How are you? good.
How are you? hi.
How are you? good.
How are you? good.
Thanks.
good.
How are you? good.
Thanks.
okay.
good.
Thanks.
okay.
q, give her one green chip okay.
q, give her one green chip for the pink one.
q, give her one green chip for the pink one.
all right, changing $500.
For the pink one.
all right, changing $500.
thank you.
thank you.
okay.
you got to give her more than okay.
you got to give her more than that.
you got to give her more than that.
[ laughter .]
That.
[ laughter .]
wait, could we start -- could [ laughter .]
wait, could we start -- could we start over, could we start wait, could we start -- could we start over, could we start over? We start over, could we start over? can we -- can we start over? Over? can we -- can we start over? Can we just start over? can we -- can we start over? Can we just start over? yeah.
Can we just start over? yeah.
could you just get up and yeah.
could you just get up and come back over to the table? could you just get up and come back over to the table? could you just get up and Come back over to the table? could you just get up and come back to the table? could you just get up and come back to the table? [ laughs .]
Come back to the table? [ laughs .]
thank you.
[ laughs .]
thank you.
[ laughs .]
thank you.
[ laughs .]
hi! Welcome, welcome! [ laughs .]
hi! Welcome, welcome! thank you! hi! Welcome, welcome! thank you! hey, where are you from? thank you! hey, where are you from? where are you from? hey, where are you from? where are you from? [ chuckles .]
where are you from? [ chuckles .]
plymouth, massachusetts.
[ chuckles .]
plymouth, massachusetts.
plymouth, massachusetts.
plymouth, massachusetts.
plymouth, massachusetts.
no, no, you're not.
plymouth, massachusetts.
no, no, you're not.
You're not from massachusetts.
no, no, you're not.
You're not from massachusetts.
no, you're not.
You're not from massachusetts.
no, you're not.
i'm not? no, you're not.
i'm not? can you just get up again and i'm not? can you just get up again and come back and say you're from can you just get up again and come back and say you're from new york city? Come back and say you're from new york city? could you just go back and New york city? could you just go back and say you're from new york city could you just go back and say you're from new york city when i ask you that? Say you're from new york city when i ask you that? [ laughs .]
When i ask you that? [ laughs .]
'cause i have a great joke.
[ laughs .]
'cause i have a great joke.
'cause i have a great joke.
'cause i have a great joke.
'cause i have a great joke.
All right, here we go.
'cause i have a great joke.
All right, here we go.
here she comes, here she All right, here we go.
here she comes, here she comes.
here she comes, here she comes.
oh, hi! How are you? Comes.
oh, hi! How are you? good.
And you? oh, hi! How are you? good.
And you? where are you from? good.
And you? where are you from? new york city.
where are you from? new york city.
oh, i love your cheesesteaks! new york city.
oh, i love your cheesesteaks! oh, i love your cheesesteaks! oh, i love your cheesesteaks! oh, i love your cheesesteaks! [ laughter .]
oh, i love your cheesesteaks! [ laughter .]
oh, that's philadelphia! [ laughter .]
oh, that's philadelphia! that's philadelphia.
oh, that's philadelphia! that's philadelphia.
that's all right.
that's philadelphia.
that's all right.
[ laughs .]
that's all right.
[ laughs .]
you're gonna double your [ laughs .]
you're gonna double your money, my friend.
you're gonna double your money, my friend.
ah, yes.
Money, my friend.
ah, yes.
you know, blackjack is just ah, yes.
you know, blackjack is just like my love life.
you know, blackjack is just like my love life.
you know, blackjack is, uh, Like my love life.
you know, blackjack is, uh, just like my love life.
you know, blackjack is, uh, just like my love life.
i always hit on 16.
Just like my love life.
i always hit on 16.
You know what i mean? i always hit on 16.
You know what i mean? [ laughter .]
You know what i mean? [ laughter .]
keep name-dropping [ laughter .]
keep name-dropping smash mouth, the band.
keep name-dropping smash mouth, the band.
i, um, used to deal Smash mouth, the band.
i, um, used to deal exclusively for, uh, i, um, used to deal exclusively for, uh, smash mouth.
Exclusively for, uh, smash mouth.
You know the band smash mouth? Smash mouth.
You know the band smash mouth? yeah, of course.
You know the band smash mouth? yeah, of course.
i ran with that smash mouth yeah, of course.
i ran with that smash mouth crew.
i ran with that smash mouth crew.
Man, they were the best.
Crew.
Man, they were the best.
Smash mouth, man, smash mouth.
Man, they were the best.
Smash mouth, man, smash mouth.
Anyway, insurance.
Smash mouth, man, smash mouth.
Anyway, insurance.
[ laughs .]
Anyway, insurance.
[ laughs .]
sorry, guys, sorry.
[ laughs .]
sorry, guys, sorry.
That's it.
sorry, guys, sorry.
That's it.
well, uh, but that was my -- That's it.
well, uh, but that was my -- but that was my money.
well, uh, but that was my -- but that was my money.
q, that guy's coming in hot.
But that was my money.
q, that guy's coming in hot.
oh, you're coming in pretty q, that guy's coming in hot.
oh, you're coming in pretty hot, bro.
oh, you're coming in pretty hot, bro.
i'm trying.
Hot, bro.
i'm trying.
you might as well be walking i'm trying.
you might as well be walking on the sun.
you might as well be walking on the sun.
smash mouth song.
On the sun.
smash mouth song.
smash mouth song.
smash mouth song.
smash mouth song.
[ laughter .]
smash mouth song.
[ laughter .]
nice.
[ laughter .]
nice.
collect the money like nice.
collect the money like scrooge mcduck.
collect the money like scrooge mcduck.
all right, come here and Scrooge mcduck.
all right, come here and there.
all right, come here and there.
[ laughs .]
There.
[ laughs .]
good luck.
[ laughs .]
good luck.
thank you! Good luck! good luck.
thank you! Good luck! thank you.
Thanks, guys.
thank you! Good luck! thank you.
Thanks, guys.
Smash mouth.
thank you.
Thanks, guys.
Smash mouth.
[ ding! .]
Smash mouth.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
narrator: No one went bust, [ laughter .]
narrator: No one went bust, so all four jokers are safe from narrator: No one went bust, so all four jokers are safe from the loser board.
today, we're playing a little game, guess what you got to do.
Game, guess what you got to do.
each team will have to each team will have to perform an action, but only one Perform an action, but only one of the team members will know Of the team members will know what it is.
What it is.
the teammate that knows the the teammate that knows the action will have to give his Action will have to give his partner hints to figure out what Partner hints to figure out what he has to do.
He has to do.
if you cannot guess what your if you cannot guess what your task is and perform it, you are Task is and perform it, you are a loser! A loser! sal's gonna give clues.
sal's gonna give clues.
I'm gonna guess.
I'm gonna guess.
okay, take out your earpiece, okay, take out your earpiece, murr.
Murr.
okay, here's goes the okay, here's goes the earpiece.
Earpiece.
murray's got to, uh, pull a murray's got to, uh, pull a quarter from someone's ear.
Quarter from someone's ear.
A little old magic trick.
A little old magic trick.
can i put the earpiece back can i put the earpiece back in? In? all right, boys, good luck.
all right, boys, good luck.
um um Well, i love this park 'cause i Well, i love this park 'cause i love -- i love all the Love -- i love all the musicians, the street Musicians, the street performers, the magicians, like, Performers, the magicians, like, everything -- everybody that Everything -- everybody that comes here.
Comes here.
oh! oh! There you go! that's a hint! There you go! that's a hint! got it.
that's a hint! got it.
Got it.
got it.
Got it.
I'm a street performer.
Got it.
I'm a street performer.
I'm gonna do a I'm a street performer.
I'm gonna do a [ laughing .]
a street I'm gonna do a [ laughing .]
a street performer.
[ laughing .]
a street performer.
Cartwheel.
oh, that's a good one, murr.
Idiot.
Idiot.
[ laughs, claps .]
[ laughs, claps .]
could i have some tip? could i have some tip? no, your tip is, you're no, your tip is, you're wrong! [ laughs .]
Wrong! [ laughs .]
you know what used to be [ laughs .]
you know what used to be great when we were kids? you know what used to be great when we were kids? what? Great when we were kids? what? those -- those little what? those -- those little fruit-punch drinks.
oh! there you go! there you go! i see where you're going with i see where you're going with this.
This.
you, like, poke the hole you, like, poke the hole through the foil with your Through the foil with your finger.
Finger.
oh, yeah, i remember those.
oh, yeah, i remember those.
in staten island, they used in staten island, they used to call 'em "quarter drinks.
" come with me.
To call 'em "quarter drinks.
" come with me.
okay.
come with me.
okay.
excuse me, miss, is this your okay.
excuse me, miss, is this your bag? excuse me, miss, is this your bag? oh, yeah.
Bag? oh, yeah.
do you have any extra drinks, oh, yeah.
do you have any extra drinks, like, for kids in here? do you have any extra drinks, like, for kids in here? [ laughs .]
Like, for kids in here? [ laughs .]
oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
oh, my god.
Oh, my god, he's going through oh, my god.
Oh, my god, he's going through [bleep.]
someone's bag.
Oh, my god, he's going through [bleep.]
someone's bag.
they're not in here? [bleep.]
someone's bag.
they're not in here? How about in here -- no extra they're not in here? How about in here -- no extra drinks? How about in here -- no extra drinks? no, we don't have any.
Drinks? no, we don't have any.
hey, weirdo, that's not it! no, we don't have any.
hey, weirdo, that's not it! [ laughter .]
you thought was -- you thought it was go through -- go Thought it was go through -- go through a child's bag? Through a child's bag? [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
this is it, guys -- last this is it, guys -- last chance.
Chance.
last chance.
last chance.
so he either gets it or he so he either gets it or he doesn't.
Doesn't.
kids are amazed at the kids are amazed at the littlest things.
Littlest things.
um um Oh! Oh! ohhhh! ohhhh! no one's got to even say anything? no one's got to even say anything? sir, can i show you a quick Anything? sir, can i show you a quick magic trick? sir, can i show you a quick magic trick? I'm trying to get it right.
Magic trick? I'm trying to get it right.
Just tell me if you believe it.
I'm trying to get it right.
Just tell me if you believe it.
There's a quarter.
Just tell me if you believe it.
There's a quarter.
It disappears.
There's a quarter.
It disappears.
And it's behind your ear! It disappears.
And it's behind your ear! [ all shout .]
And it's behind your ear! [ all shout .]
he did it! He did it! [ all shout .]
he did it! He did it! what the -- what the hell he did it! He did it! what the -- what the hell kind of -- what kind of high what the -- what the hell kind of -- what kind of high five was that?! Kind of -- what kind of high five was that?! he's got him! Five was that?! he's got him! hey, for your next trick, he's got him! hey, for your next trick, learn how to give a high five.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
all right, q, take your [ laughter .]
all right, q, take your earpiece out.
all right, q, take your earpiece out.
okay.
Earpiece out.
okay.
all right [chuckles.]
q has to okay.
all right [chuckles.]
q has to put someone in a headlock.
all right [chuckles.]
q has to put someone in a headlock.
[ laughter .]
Put someone in a headlock.
[ laughter .]
what? [ laughter .]
what? [ chuckles .]
what? [ chuckles .]
all right, here we go -- [ chuckles .]
all right, here we go -- earpiece back in.
all right, here we go -- earpiece back in.
all right, i'm back.
Earpiece back in.
all right, i'm back.
[ sighs .]
all right, i'm back.
[ sighs .]
what are we looking at here? [ sighs .]
what are we looking at here? you know, sometimes what are we looking at here? you know, sometimes Sometimes i get confused by Sometimes i get confused by things.
And i can't make heads or tails Things.
And i can't make heads or tails of it.
And i can't make heads or tails of it.
that's the clue?! Of it.
that's the clue?! heads or tails.
that's the clue?! heads or tails.
All right, well, it involves heads or tails.
All right, well, it involves someone's head or someone's ass.
All right, well, it involves someone's head or someone's ass.
[ laughs .]
Someone's head or someone's ass.
[ laughs .]
that's what i'm getting right [ laughs .]
that's what i'm getting right off the bat.
that's what i'm getting right off the bat.
[ laughing .]
Off the bat.
[ laughing .]
all right, guys, i think i [ laughing .]
all right, guys, i think i got this.
all right, guys, i think i got this.
good luck.
Got this.
good luck.
hey, man, good hustle, good good luck.
hey, man, good hustle, good hustle.
hey, man, good hustle, good hustle.
[ laughs .]
Hustle.
[ laughs .]
how was that? [ laughs .]
how was that? Heads or tails? how was that? Heads or tails? did you just palm a guy's Heads or tails? did you just palm a guy's ass?! did you just palm a guy's ass?! let me tell you something.
Ass?! let me tell you something.
That was one of the better asses let me tell you something.
That was one of the better asses i've ever palmed on a man That was one of the better asses i've ever palmed on a man before.
I've ever palmed on a man before.
[ laughter .]
Before.
[ laughter .]
i probably blame myself.
[ laughter .]
i probably blame myself.
yeah.
i probably blame myself.
yeah.
but no.
yeah.
but no.
all right, joey, next clue.
you know what i used to love about saturday mornings growing up? About saturday mornings growing up? what's that, buddy? Up? what's that, buddy? watching -- watching tv.
what's that, buddy? watching -- watching tv.
ah.
watching -- watching tv.
ah.
so many heroes on the tv, ah.
so many heroes on the tv, like great american heroes.
so many heroes on the tv, like great american heroes.
what?! Like great american heroes.
what?! oh, yeah! what?! oh, yeah! [ laughs .]
oh, yeah! [ laughs .]
are you doing are you doing randy "macho man" savage? that sounds like the kool-aid Randy "macho man" savage? that sounds like the kool-aid guy to me.
that sounds like the kool-aid guy to me.
i don't think i got it, but Guy to me.
i don't think i got it, but i'm working through it.
i don't think i got it, but i'm working through it.
Confusion, heads or tails.
I'm working through it.
Confusion, heads or tails.
There's a state of confusion.
Confusion, heads or tails.
There's a state of confusion.
You want me to confuse There's a state of confusion.
You want me to confuse someone You want me to confuse someone By -- by being the kool-aid guy.
Someone By -- by being the kool-aid guy.
[ laughs .]
By -- by being the kool-aid guy.
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
boom! Oh, yeah! [ laughter .]
boom! Oh, yeah! [ laughs .]
boom! Oh, yeah! [ laughs .]
[ deep voice .]
oh, no! [ laughs .]
[ deep voice .]
oh, no! [ laughs .]
[ deep voice .]
oh, no! [ laughs .]
if that was it, you nailed [ laughs .]
if that was it, you nailed it, but it's not it! if that was it, you nailed it, but it's not it! [ laughs .]
It, but it's not it! [ laughs .]
you know, unfortunately [ laughs .]
you know, unfortunately yeah.
you know, unfortunately yeah.
I couldn't get into my yeah.
I couldn't get into my apartment I couldn't get into my apartment Yesterday, and i had forgotten Apartment Yesterday, and i had forgotten my keys.
Yesterday, and i had forgotten my keys.
So i was My keys.
So i was locked out? [ fingers snap .]
is it a [bleep.]
headlock? is it a headlock? is it a [bleep.]
headlock? is it a headlock? It's a headlock.
I just got it.
is it a headlock? It's a headlock.
I just got it.
don't say nothing, joe.
It's a headlock.
I just got it.
don't say nothing, joe.
ow! [ inhales sharply .]
don't say nothing, joe.
ow! [ inhales sharply .]
[ groans .]
ow! [ inhales sharply .]
[ groans .]
[ groans .]
yeah.
[ groans .]
[ groans .]
yeah.
Oh, thanks, buddy.
Oh, thanks, buddy.
[ groans .]
[ laughs .]
[ groans .]
[ laughs .]
oh, headlock.
[ laughs .]
oh, headlock.
That's a headlock, right, if oh, headlock.
That's a headlock, right, if you -- yeah, that's a headlock? That's a headlock, right, if you -- yeah, that's a headlock? Okay, cool.
You -- yeah, that's a headlock? Okay, cool.
he got it, he got it, he got Okay, cool.
he got it, he got it, he got it! he got it, he got it, he got it! [ laughing .]
he got it! It! [ laughing .]
he got it! That was it! [ laughing .]
he got it! That was it! oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! That was it! oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! oh, yeah! oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! oh, yeah! oh, yeah! oh, yeah! oh, yeah! [ ding! .]
oh, yeah! [ ding! .]
narrator: Everyone was clued [ ding! .]
narrator: Everyone was clued in, so all four jokers are safe narrator: Everyone was clued in, so all four jokers are safe from the loser board.
get your shine box 'cause we're shining shoes today! We're shining shoes today! as we polish off strangers' as we polish off strangers' footwear, we have to do and say Footwear, we have to do and say what the other guys tell us.
What the other guys tell us.
if you refuse to do or say if you refuse to do or say anything, you lose.
Anything, you lose.
hold on! hold on! This is joker versus joker This is joker versus joker challenge! Challenge! yeah! yeah! free shoeshine! free shoeshine! Sir, would you like a free Sir, would you like a free shoeshine? Shoeshine? Jump on up.
Jump on up.
murr, pronounce the word murr, pronounce the word "polish" as the nationality "polish" as the nationality polish.
Polish.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
i'm -- now, what i'm doing i'm -- now, what i'm doing here is, i'm putting some polish on it.
Here is, i'm putting some polish on it.
[ laughter .]
On it.
[ laughter .]
so, i'm gonna get the clear [ laughter .]
so, i'm gonna get the clear polish right on it.
So, i'm gonna get the clear polish right on it.
When you put too much polish on Polish right on it.
When you put too much polish on the shoes [chuckles.]
just get When you put too much polish on the shoes [chuckles.]
just get confused.
The shoes [chuckles.]
just get confused.
[ laughter .]
Confused.
[ laughter .]
polish or polish? [ laughter .]
polish or polish? [ laughs .]
polish or polish? [ laughs .]
[ laughing .]
i don't know! [ laughs .]
[ laughing .]
i don't know! [ laughter .]
[ laughing .]
i don't know! [ laughter .]
all right, this right one [ laughter .]
all right, this right one looks done.
all right, this right one looks done.
uh, so, this one's done.
Looks done.
uh, so, this one's done.
so, give it a little kiss.
uh, so, this one's done.
so, give it a little kiss.
[ laughs .]
so, give it a little kiss.
[ laughs .]
just give it a little kiss.
[ laughs .]
just give it a little kiss.
[ laughter .]
just give it a little kiss.
[ laughter .]
all right.
[ laughter .]
all right.
oh! all right.
oh! okay, just, i, uh, i seal all oh! okay, just, i, uh, i seal all of my polishes with a kiss.
okay, just, i, uh, i seal all of my polishes with a kiss.
[ laughter .]
Of my polishes with a kiss.
[ laughter .]
oh! [ laughter .]
oh! [ laughs .]
oh! [ laughs .]
and i'm gonna leave that [ laughs .]
and i'm gonna leave that right there.
and i'm gonna leave that right there.
You take that with you.
Right there.
You take that with you.
[ ding! .]
You take that with you.
[ ding! .]
[ laughter .]
what's going on, my friends? Yeah? Looking for a shoeshine? here we go! Yeah? Looking for a shoeshine? here we go! what is your name, sir? here we go! what is your name, sir? i'm out here, working for my what is your name, sir? i'm out here, working for my shoeshine blog.
i'm out here, working for my shoeshine blog.
i'm out here kind of working Shoeshine blog.
i'm out here kind of working for my shoeshine blog.
i'm out here kind of working for my shoeshine blog.
if you don't mind, could you For my shoeshine blog.
if you don't mind, could you just film me as i shoeshine your if you don't mind, could you just film me as i shoeshine your shoes? Just film me as i shoeshine your shoes? would you mind, uh, just Shoes? would you mind, uh, just filming me for my shoeshine Filming me for my shoeshine blog? Here, i'll shine.
You film.
have him interview you and have him interview you and make up the questions.
Make up the questions.
all right, go ahead.
all right, go ahead.
Interview me.
Interview me.
okay.
okay.
well, what happened is, my -- well, what happened is, my -- my mother used to shine shoes, My mother used to shine shoes, and then she died.
And then she died.
She got hit by a horse and She got hit by a horse and carriage.
Carriage.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
[ voice breaking .]
i miss her [ voice breaking .]
i miss her so much! So much! [ voice breaking .]
i mean -- [ voice breaking .]
i mean -- i mean, i just miss my mom so I mean, i just miss my mom so much.
Much.
[bleep.]
horses! [bleep.]
horses! [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
yeah.
yeah.
it's good, it's good.
it's good, it's good.
you know how to get me, man.
you know how to get me, man.
[ sighs .]
[ sighs .]
you know how to get me, man.
You know how to get me, man.
You're like the barbara walters You're like the barbara walters of businessman on lunch who gets shoeshines.
Of businessman on lunch who gets shoeshines.
[ laughter .]
Shoeshines.
[ laughter .]
okay.
[ laughter .]
okay.
All right, thank you, man.
okay.
All right, thank you, man.
oh [bleep.]
it didn't record.
All right, thank you, man.
oh [bleep.]
it didn't record.
oh [bleep.]
oh [bleep.]
it didn't record.
oh [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
oh [bleep.]
[ laughter .]
did you not get it? [ laughter .]
did you not get it? it didn't record.
did you not get it? it didn't record.
All right, we'll just do it it didn't record.
All right, we'll just do it again real quick.
All right, we'll just do it again real quick.
We'll just get the whole Again real quick.
We'll just get the whole interview real quick.
We'll just get the whole interview real quick.
oh, my god! Interview real quick.
oh, my god! [ laughter .]
oh, my god! [ laughter .]
that was good.
[ laughter .]
that was good.
Ask me about my dead mother that was good.
Ask me about my dead mother again.
Ask me about my dead mother again.
[ laughter .]
Again.
[ laughter .]
so, brian, how did you start, [ laughter .]
so, brian, how did you start, uh so, brian, how did you start, uh oh, he's doing it! Uh oh, he's doing it! fantastic question, fantastic oh, he's doing it! fantastic question, fantastic question.
fantastic question, fantastic question.
[ laughter .]
Question.
[ laughter .]
so, what do you think? [ laughter .]
so, what do you think? They're looking pretty good, so, what do you think? They're looking pretty good, huh? They're looking pretty good, huh? q, spit on this guy's shoe Huh? q, spit on this guy's shoe and shine it.
q, spit on this guy's shoe and shine it.
[ laughter .]
And shine it.
[ laughter .]
uh [ laughter .]
uh go, just spit right on it.
uh go, just spit right on it.
uh go, just spit right on it.
uh [ laughter .]
uh [ laughter .]
all right, well, these shoes [ laughter .]
all right, well, these shoes are looking pretty good, man.
all right, well, these shoes are looking pretty good, man.
[ all groan .]
Are looking pretty good, man.
[ all groan .]
shout out the thumbs-down! [ all groan .]
shout out the thumbs-down! [ buzzer .]
shout out the thumbs-down! [ buzzer .]
[ laughter .]
[ buzzer .]
[ laughter .]
narrator: Shout out to q! [ laughter .]
narrator: Shout out to q! He's tonight's big loser.
narrator: Shout out to q! He's tonight's big loser.
q lost, and we're here at the He's tonight's big loser.
q lost, and we're here at the brooklyn cyclones game for his q lost, and we're here at the brooklyn cyclones game for his punishment.
Brooklyn cyclones game for his punishment.
buddy, all you have to do is Punishment.
buddy, all you have to do is walk out there onto the buddy, all you have to do is walk out there onto the pitcher's mound and just say, Walk out there onto the pitcher's mound and just say, "no.
" Pitcher's mound and just say, "no.
" no? "no.
" no? no, no.
no? no, no.
both: No! no, no.
both: No! all right, well, obviously, both: No! all right, well, obviously, something else is going on.
all right, well, obviously, something else is going on.
all: Yes! Something else is going on.
all: Yes! [ laughter .]
all: Yes! [ laughter .]
i don't like this.
[ laughter .]
i don't like this.
[ organ music playing .]
Oh, god, what is this? Oh, god.
okay, q, you just got to say Oh, god.
okay, q, you just got to say no no matter what happens.
okay, q, you just got to say no no matter what happens.
oh, my, i'm on the -- i'm on No no matter what happens.
oh, my, i'm on the -- i'm on the jumbotron.
oh, my, i'm on the -- i'm on the jumbotron.
I don't like all these people The jumbotron.
I don't like all these people staring at me, guys.
I don't like all these people staring at me, guys.
Kindly ask you to please direct Staring at me, guys.
Kindly ask you to please direct your attention to the pitcher's Kindly ask you to please direct your attention to the pitcher's mound.
Your attention to the pitcher's mound.
Coming to the field, we have a Mound.
Coming to the field, we have a very special guest.
Coming to the field, we have a very special guest.
we have a very lovely lady Very special guest.
we have a very lovely lady that q has never seen before in we have a very lovely lady that q has never seen before in his life.
That q has never seen before in his life.
He's gonna go out and say a few His life.
He's gonna go out and say a few words right now.
He's gonna go out and say a few words right now.
[ laughs .]
Words right now.
[ laughs .]
she's a native of brooklyn, a [ laughs .]
she's a native of brooklyn, a fifth-generation coney island she's a native of brooklyn, a fifth-generation coney island resident, and a proud cyclone Fifth-generation coney island resident, and a proud cyclone season-ticket holder.
Resident, and a proud cyclone season-ticket holder.
She is the co-chairperson and Season-ticket holder.
She is the co-chairperson and founder of dream maker's She is the co-chairperson and founder of dream maker's children fund, a nonprofit Founder of dream maker's children fund, a nonprofit organization that specializes Children fund, a nonprofit organization that specializes in education and assisting Organization that specializes in education and assisting underprivileged children.
In education and assisting underprivileged children.
she's an amazing person.
Underprivileged children.
she's an amazing person.
sounds like an amazing lady.
she's an amazing person.
sounds like an amazing lady.
and she'd now like you to sounds like an amazing lady.
and she'd now like you to share in a very special moment and she'd now like you to share in a very special moment with her.
Share in a very special moment with her.
all right, okay.
With her.
all right, okay.
[ cheers and applause .]
all right, okay.
[ cheers and applause .]
so far, boys, this ain't so bad.
[ cheers and applause .]
so far, boys, this ain't so bad.
All right.
So far, boys, this ain't so bad.
All right.
Hi.
All right.
Hi.
honey Hi.
honey For the last seven years, you've honey For the last seven years, you've made me the happiest i've ever For the last seven years, you've made me the happiest i've ever been in my life.
Made me the happiest i've ever been in my life.
[ chuckles .]
Been in my life.
[ chuckles .]
you are my best friend.
[ chuckles .]
you are my best friend.
aww! you are my best friend.
aww! [ laughs .]
aww! [ laughs .]
my mentor [ laughs .]
my mentor mm.
my mentor mm.
My love, my heart, and my mm.
My love, my heart, and my world.
My love, my heart, and my world.
From the moment i met you, i World.
From the moment i met you, i knew this was something From the moment i met you, i knew this was something different -- something i've Knew this was something different -- something i've never experienced before.
Different -- something i've never experienced before.
I don't want to spend another Never experienced before.
I don't want to spend another minute on this earth not being I don't want to spend another minute on this earth not being your wife.
Minute on this earth not being your wife.
can you see what's happening? Your wife.
can you see what's happening? she is going for it.
can you see what's happening? she is going for it.
[ laughs .]
she is going for it.
[ laughs .]
brian michael quinn, will you [ laughs .]
brian michael quinn, will you marry me? brian michael quinn, will you marry me? just say no! Marry me? just say no! [ laughter .]
just say no! [ laughter .]
oh, god! [ laughter .]
oh, god! just say no! oh, god! just say no! [ cheers and applause .]
just say no! [ cheers and applause .]
no.
[ cheers and applause .]
no.
[ feedback .]
no.
[ feedback .]
[ spectators booing .]
[ laughter .]
i love your sense of humor.
i love your sense of humor.
That's one of the things i love That's one of the things i love best about you.
Best about you.
This time, i'm actually -- i'm This time, i'm actually -- i'm serious, for real.
Serious, for real.
My parents took the bus from My parents took the bus from tampa, and they're here tonight.
Tampa, and they're here tonight.
There they are, see? There they are, see? oh, god! oh, god! [ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ cheers and applause .]
so, brian, with my parents as So, brian, with my parents as witnesses, all kidding aside in Witnesses, all kidding aside in front of the whole stadium Front of the whole stadium Will you marry me? Will you marry me? oh, my god, guy! [ laughter .]
oh, my god, guy! [ laughter .]
god! [ laughter .]
god! No.
god! No.
[ spectators booing .]
No.
[ spectators booing .]
is this a joke? [ spectators booing .]
is this a joke? [ laughs .]
is this a joke? [ laughs .]
no.
[ laughs .]
no.
i love you from the bottom of no.
i love you from the bottom of my heart! i love you from the bottom of my heart! I'm in front of all these My heart! I'm in front of all these people! I'm in front of all these people! Please marry me! People! Please marry me! [ laughing .]
no! Please marry me! [ laughing .]
no! n-no.
[ laughing .]
no! n-no.
[ indistinct shouting .]
n-no.
[ indistinct shouting .]
boo! [ indistinct shouting .]
boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! [ shouting continues .]
[ crying .]
excuse me.
[ crying .]
excuse me.
i'm sorry.
I'm sorry, honey.
Excuse me.
i'm sorry.
I'm sorry, honey.
excuse me.
i'm sorry.
I'm sorry, honey.
excuse me.
sorry.
excuse me.
sorry.
Now she's on the market if sorry.
Now she's on the market if anybody's interested.
Now she's on the market if anybody's interested.
oh, my god! Anybody's interested.
oh, my god! guys, this is the best oh, my god! guys, this is the best punishment ever.
guys, this is the best punishment ever.
no.
Punishment ever.
no.
all: Yes! no.
all: Yes! [ laughs .]