Pinky and the Brain (1995) s03e30 Episode Script
You'll Never Eat Food Pellets In This Town, Again!
Gee, brain, What do you want to do tonight? The same thing we do every night, pinky, Try to take over the world.
they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain, brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousey worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain Narf! warner bros.
[Roaring.]
[Roaring.]
Look, pinky.
Look at them flee in terror.
I told you nobody would like your scary float, brain.
People like happy floats-- Like nathan lane.
And as i told you, pinky, It is precisely by scaring people as the cyclops That i intend to take over the ancient world.
Rahrr! Rahrr! By the staff of poseidon's barnacle-Encrusted trident, Come no closer! Here's a free sample for you! Rahrr! [Pinky and brain screaming.]
Brain! Aah! Aah! Ooh! Waahhh! Waahhh! Come.
If we leave now, We can be back at the pharmacopoeia by tomorrow night.
Why? What we going to do tomorrow night, brain? The same thing we do every night, pinky-- Try to get o--I-- No.
Take over-- Oh, drat.
Line! Man: cut! Reset! Brain: i'm sorry, bobby.
I've only said the line a million times.
No.
It's my fault.
I just--I need-- Oh, we're so behind.
Does it pinch? What? No, no, no.
Let's just go again.
Where are the writers? Jed, jed, jed.
If we're going again, Can we find something better than the nathan lane thing? I mean, margaret and i are having lunch with him next week, And this is well, it's insulting.
Insulting? What? Where's an insult? It's a fat joke! I'll be in my dressing room.
Zort! Excuse me, brain.
I have a call for you from sandy dreckman.
Sandy dreckman? The head of the network? Uh, this is the brain.
[Fast, indistinct chatter.]
sandy! Hey, hey! Uh-Huh! Yes! [Rapid chatter.]
Uh, excuse me, sandy.
What is it, pinky? Tell him thanks for the tiffany candy dish.
Troz! Margaret and i love it.
Margaret is a puppet.
Yes? Yes, sandy.
[Rapid chatter.]
Oh.
Oh, i see.
Yes, we'll be right over.
Boys, i'll nutshell this for you.
These are the season ratings for pinky and the brain.
Say no more, sandy.
Pinky and i would be honored To join the network's exciting prime-Time lineup.
Prime time? You? Maybe i didn't make myself clear.
A close examination shows an enormous decline In the most recent sweeps.
Enormous? Why, if that were any smaller, It would be extremely small.
Good one, brain! What do you want, pinky? In real life, i don't have any writers.
Now, there's no need to panic.
Stu and jim from market research Have been working up a revamp.
Thank you, mr.
Dreckman.
Uh, using focus groups, state-Of-The-Art polling techniques, And these magic chicken bones, We've formulated a list of changes to your show.
First, we'll lure more young adult viewers By taking the show out of the lab And setting it in a funky coffeehouse.
What would Intent on taking over the world Be doing in a coffeehouse? Perhaps relaxing after a hard day Of raising your family of adopted orphans.
Adopted orphans? We also see strong support For replacing the current catch phrase "narf" With "wakka wakka doo.
" Ha ha ha! It tested strongly in all markets.
This is absurd.
You people would take oedipus rex And stick in a talking chimp If you thought it would scare up Another half a rating's point.
Yeah! You people would take star wars And set it in outer space or, um, put in a sassy robot or something.
I mean, really! Brain: gentlemen, what do your polling numbers say About my hurting pinky? Big numbers! Through the roof! Good.
Come along, pinky.
I feel a rehearsal coming on.
"Sassy robot.
" Hmm.
Tour guide: and this is the home of pinky and the brain, Stars of tv's pinky and the brain.
All: ooh! And right next-Door is the home of tv's dick clark.
All: ooh.
Savages! Throwin' trash onto somebody's lawn.
Learn some manners! They're riding me, nifty.
They're messing with the show.
Listen, i have people clamoring for you and pinky.
I'll have the networks eating out of your hands.
You mean that? I'm your agent.
Would i kid you? You have heat.
I have heat.
You are hot, baby.
in the shade.
I'm on fire! Yes! Sound the fire alarm! Somebody train a hose on me! Your are the towering inferno! Yes! All right.
Uh say hi to the missis And give my love to margaret.
Margaret.
That's pinky's puppet.
Yes? Ok.
Am i gonna have a bigger part When they redevelop your show? No, sheila, not unless you can play a third-World orphan.
Well, what's the use of being married To mr.
Big tv star If you can't even get me a part on your show? I told you.
I have nothing to do with the casting.
I've only done And i always have to play that whining billie character! What a stretch.
What did you say? I said, i hate to cut short this pleasant conversation, But pinky and i have a show to rehearse.
Where is he? I don't know.
In his room.
Pinky? Oh.
Ready? Good-Bye, margaret.
Mmm-Muh! Sheila's being particularly irksome today.
Poit.
Do you know, when margaret's like that, I turn her inside out.
Ok, places for rehearsal.
It's a little different, But i'm thinking funny different.
Where's the cage, bobby? Cage? The cage where i unfold my plan for world domination? The cage was nice, butmemos and no cage.
Places! I hope.
Quiet.
Quiet! And action.
"Brain.
When i'm done cleanin', "Can we go to the coffeehouse And hang out with our single friends? Brain?" I am up here, pinky, fixing this ceiling light.
"Oh.
Let me turn on a light So you can see what you're doing.
" No, pinky.
Yaaaahhhh! "Welcome home from school, yurkel.
" Pinky, my man.
Mmm, mmm! You are lookin' sharp today.
Yes, yurkel, You can have some pimento loaf.
Mmm, mmm.
Wakka wakka doo! Come on, gang! No, yurkel.
Aaahhh! Uhh! "Oh, brain, how did a couple of bachelors like us End up looking after a house full of orphans?" "I don't know, pinky, But we sure have grown to love them.
" Hi, boys.
"Robot.
How many times have i told you? Use the front door.
" Door shmore.
"Oh, robot" you sure are sassy.
All right, all right, all right.
That's it! Cut? This is the worst piece of drivel I've ever had the displeasure of performing.
I'd be ashamed to have this mess Bear the title pinky and the brain.
We could change it maybe to suddenly yurkel.
Ok! I quit! I quit, too! Don't worry, pinky.
Nifty says he can get us lots of work.
Oh.
Brain? Yes, pinky? What does "quitting" mean? Well [mumbles indistinctly.]
Nooo! Are you sure nifty knows To call us at your restaurant, brain? Yes.
I left him a message.
[Ring.]
Brain's famous.
Are you pondering a reservation? I'm pondering a 40 share opposite seinfeld.
Nifty! Have i got a gig for you two! A gig? Strike while the iron is hot, and you are hot! Sss! Ouch! Yes.
Hot.
Ha ha.
What-- What kind of a gig? You are one mouse flambé.
Drop and roll, baby.
Fire.
Yes.
Ha ha ha! So--So what kind of a gig? How do you look in gold lamé? Announcer: the pinky and the brain variety hour! [Applause.]
[Show theme plays ala i got you, babe .]
[Applause and whistling.]
i used to want to rule the earth but now i'm happy bringing people mirth i've no idea what you just said but would you like to bop me on the head? narf please bop me, brain narf please bop me, brain narf please bop me, brain please bop me i'll bop you brain pinky Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Stop the music.
What's wrong, brain? I thought i was a little flat.
No.
You're just a little short.
How can you tell With that big nose of yours in the way? Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ohhh ha ha ha! We've been blessed by good writers.
Yes.
Wait till you see tori spelling in the camel sketch.
Tori spelling?! Hmmph! You couldn't find a part for me In your big new show? I--I pushed and pushed for you, dear, But the network forced us to use An assortment of talented celebrities.
What were they thinking? Very funny, mr.
Tv comedy genius! You can laugh yourself to sleep on the couch tonight.
Ouch, brain.
Ooh.
That's all right, pinky.
She'll be fine once we get the ratings.
[Telephone rings.]
[Ring.]
This is the brain.
Canceled? How can it be canceled? This is the first show.
It just started.
What can i say? The numbers come in fast these days.
But don't worry about a thing.
You're still burning up.
I am? Scalding! You radiate heat.
I could toast weenies over the phone.
As i told the great buddy gunther, When you have heat, you never lose it.
Ya can't put out a fire.
Who's buddy gunther? Wellhe doesn't work as much as he used to, But he was hot, baby.
Sowhat's next? How'd you like to do some cameos? Something for spielberg? Tarantino? I was thinking maybe we start with episodic.
[Show theme plays.]
Hostile alien life forms approaching, sir.
Kill them.
Arrhh--Aah! Arrhh--Aah! [Show theme plays.]
[Siren.]
[Chatter on police radio.]
They're over here.
[Radio chatter.]
I'd like to get the dirtbag who did this.
Blue sky it for me.
What do you want to play next? Something other than a corpse? New rumco solid Takes care of all my smelly, foul refrigerator odors.
Take this, You smelly, foul refrigerator odors! Ooh! Ooh! Thanks, rumco.
[Rapid chatter on phone.]
Yes.
Uh-Huh.
Surface of the sun.
Mm-Hmm.
I'm burning a hole in my couch.
Yes.
Oh.
Yes.
Yeah.
[Fast chatter.]
[Sighs.]
You know what, nifty? I hate you.
Mm-Hmm.
Ah.
You've been hated by the best.
Yes, i'm sure.
By the way you're fired.
[Fast chatter.]
Mm-Hmm.
Oh, yes.
If i ever have a career again And i want it to go straight down the toilet, I'll give you a call.
Ok? Yeah.
Well, you, too! Bye-Bye.
[Sighs.]
[Sniffles.]
We're all alone in the world.
Daryl.
Bring me some more of those crawdads.
[Sobbing.]
No! No, brain! Stop it! Stop it for me! You're not a quitter! I'll get us jobs.
Yes, that's it.
Yes! You don't spend Without making connections! You, pinky? [Chuckles.]
yes.
Perhaps some of your little puppet friends can help us.
Yes! Oh, i know they will, brain.
Now, let me see what favors can i call in? Narf! Oh, you know, I used to lunch with a fellow who did frank oz's nails.
You know, pinky those crawdads tasted a little funny.
Does this month have an "r" in it? No, brain! Oh, no! I'll save us! Margaret! Children, we're very lucky To have pinky and the brain To entertain us for timmy's birthday.
[Children cheering.]
Good gig, pinky.
Yes.
And no pesky agent's fee.
Brain: thank you, mrs.
Gribnick.
Children, For the next 2 hours, pinky and i will be sharing reminiscences Of our days as the stars Of tv's pinky and the brain.
Time allowing, this will be followed By a brief question and answer period.
[Indistinct chatter.]
What are you doing? Did you not hire us To perform an evening with pinky and the brain, madam? I hired you to entertain timmy and his friends.
Now, get to it, buster! Children, mr.
Pinky is going to make Balloon animals for us! [Children cheering.]
Um a worm! [Cheering.]
[Laughter.]
Uh, like, you're not the real brain, 'Cause, um, the real brain's on tv and stuff.
And he's shinier.
And, uh, like, he's all a genius, And, uh, you're really stupid.
Timmy, have you ever heard of a man named w.
C.
Fields? No.
He would've referred to you As an ignorant, snot-Nosed little brat, And he would've been right! Wahhh! Daddy! The fake brain yelled at me! [Timmy sobbing.]
Aah--Oomp! Aah--Oomp! There's a certain liberation In having one's last remaining bit of pride Cracked into a thousand pieces.
Well, that's funny, brain.
The same thing just happened to my collarbone.
Ha ha ha ha! Ow! Ha ha ha! Ow! Pinky, why do i do this? I'm letting a bunch of hollywood idiots Dictate my self-Worth.
I'll move to the country live with the real people.
Sheila and i could sell everything.
We could start over be happy fall in love again.
Yes! I'm going home to tell her right now.
[Crash.]
Oof! Sheila: and stay out, you bum! Oh, darn it! Hey! Oh, sorry, brain.
I thought you were another piece of trash From those darn tourists.
Oh.
No.
Heh heh.
Just a little difference of opinion with the missis.
Yeah, pulled the old "who needs show business" bit, huh? Mm-Hmm.
Yep.
She'll get the house.
Oh, dick.
You've been there.
Tell me what to do.
How do i get back on track? How do i put the pieces back together? Did you ever think about adding hamburgers to the menu? That cajun thing's a little passé.
Yeah, how's margaret? Margaret's a puppet.
Yes? Brain! Sheila kicked me out.
I know, brain.
Poit.
Margaret's left me, too.
Or maybe she just fell behind the dryer.
Hey, boss, they're talkin' about your old show.
Programming chief sandy dreckman announced today That pinky and the brain will soon return To the network's regular schedule.
Pinky! I knew it! They want us back.
Yay! Why haven't they called? I'll bet nifty didn't give them this number.
Here's a clip from the show with its brand-New cast.
New cast? [Southern accent.]
brain? Where are y'all, brain? [Southern accent.]
up here, pinky.
I'm fixin' the dang ceilin' light.
Well, shoot.
Let me turn on a light So's you can see what you're a-Doin'.
No, pinky! [Crackling.]
aah! Who is that? It's beau and luke, brain.
The dukes of hazzard? Brain, how did a couple of dang bachelors like us End up with a houseful of dang kids? I don't know, pinky, But i loves them dang kids! Wakka wakka doo! Show biz insiders predict high ratings.
I always said those dukes boys were hot.
Turn it off.
Oh, cheer up, brain.
At least you still have your lovely restaurant.
Mr.
Brain? I am the brain.
You are hereby evicted from this property for nonpayment of rent.
I'm here to ensure the transfer Of said property to the new owner.
New owner? Really well-Known yurkel's pimento loaf steamboat Is open for business! Wakka wakka doo! No! Nooo! Uhwhat? Huh! Hmm.
A nightmare.
Oh, yes.
Ha.
It was all just a horrible nightmare.
I'm not an actor at all! Ha! I'm the brain! I live in acme labs! Ho ho! Hello, you beautiful bars! Mwah! Hello, cage.
I love you! [Yawning.]
Narf! What's going on, brain? I had a horrible dream.
We were big stars, but everybody hated us.
And we lived right next-Door to tv's dick clark.
Oh, i told you not to eat crawdads before bedtime, brain.
Now, go back to sleep.
You'll wake margaret.
Margaret? Hey! Can you two keep it down? I'm tryin' to get some sleep.
[Gasps.]
Aaaahhhh! they're dinky, they're pinky and the brain, brain, brain, brain, brain warner bros.
Captioned by the national --Www.
Ncicap.
Org--
they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain, brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousey worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain Narf! warner bros.
[Roaring.]
[Roaring.]
Look, pinky.
Look at them flee in terror.
I told you nobody would like your scary float, brain.
People like happy floats-- Like nathan lane.
And as i told you, pinky, It is precisely by scaring people as the cyclops That i intend to take over the ancient world.
Rahrr! Rahrr! By the staff of poseidon's barnacle-Encrusted trident, Come no closer! Here's a free sample for you! Rahrr! [Pinky and brain screaming.]
Brain! Aah! Aah! Ooh! Waahhh! Waahhh! Come.
If we leave now, We can be back at the pharmacopoeia by tomorrow night.
Why? What we going to do tomorrow night, brain? The same thing we do every night, pinky-- Try to get o--I-- No.
Take over-- Oh, drat.
Line! Man: cut! Reset! Brain: i'm sorry, bobby.
I've only said the line a million times.
No.
It's my fault.
I just--I need-- Oh, we're so behind.
Does it pinch? What? No, no, no.
Let's just go again.
Where are the writers? Jed, jed, jed.
If we're going again, Can we find something better than the nathan lane thing? I mean, margaret and i are having lunch with him next week, And this is well, it's insulting.
Insulting? What? Where's an insult? It's a fat joke! I'll be in my dressing room.
Zort! Excuse me, brain.
I have a call for you from sandy dreckman.
Sandy dreckman? The head of the network? Uh, this is the brain.
[Fast, indistinct chatter.]
sandy! Hey, hey! Uh-Huh! Yes! [Rapid chatter.]
Uh, excuse me, sandy.
What is it, pinky? Tell him thanks for the tiffany candy dish.
Troz! Margaret and i love it.
Margaret is a puppet.
Yes? Yes, sandy.
[Rapid chatter.]
Oh.
Oh, i see.
Yes, we'll be right over.
Boys, i'll nutshell this for you.
These are the season ratings for pinky and the brain.
Say no more, sandy.
Pinky and i would be honored To join the network's exciting prime-Time lineup.
Prime time? You? Maybe i didn't make myself clear.
A close examination shows an enormous decline In the most recent sweeps.
Enormous? Why, if that were any smaller, It would be extremely small.
Good one, brain! What do you want, pinky? In real life, i don't have any writers.
Now, there's no need to panic.
Stu and jim from market research Have been working up a revamp.
Thank you, mr.
Dreckman.
Uh, using focus groups, state-Of-The-Art polling techniques, And these magic chicken bones, We've formulated a list of changes to your show.
First, we'll lure more young adult viewers By taking the show out of the lab And setting it in a funky coffeehouse.
What would Intent on taking over the world Be doing in a coffeehouse? Perhaps relaxing after a hard day Of raising your family of adopted orphans.
Adopted orphans? We also see strong support For replacing the current catch phrase "narf" With "wakka wakka doo.
" Ha ha ha! It tested strongly in all markets.
This is absurd.
You people would take oedipus rex And stick in a talking chimp If you thought it would scare up Another half a rating's point.
Yeah! You people would take star wars And set it in outer space or, um, put in a sassy robot or something.
I mean, really! Brain: gentlemen, what do your polling numbers say About my hurting pinky? Big numbers! Through the roof! Good.
Come along, pinky.
I feel a rehearsal coming on.
"Sassy robot.
" Hmm.
Tour guide: and this is the home of pinky and the brain, Stars of tv's pinky and the brain.
All: ooh! And right next-Door is the home of tv's dick clark.
All: ooh.
Savages! Throwin' trash onto somebody's lawn.
Learn some manners! They're riding me, nifty.
They're messing with the show.
Listen, i have people clamoring for you and pinky.
I'll have the networks eating out of your hands.
You mean that? I'm your agent.
Would i kid you? You have heat.
I have heat.
You are hot, baby.
in the shade.
I'm on fire! Yes! Sound the fire alarm! Somebody train a hose on me! Your are the towering inferno! Yes! All right.
Uh say hi to the missis And give my love to margaret.
Margaret.
That's pinky's puppet.
Yes? Ok.
Am i gonna have a bigger part When they redevelop your show? No, sheila, not unless you can play a third-World orphan.
Well, what's the use of being married To mr.
Big tv star If you can't even get me a part on your show? I told you.
I have nothing to do with the casting.
I've only done And i always have to play that whining billie character! What a stretch.
What did you say? I said, i hate to cut short this pleasant conversation, But pinky and i have a show to rehearse.
Where is he? I don't know.
In his room.
Pinky? Oh.
Ready? Good-Bye, margaret.
Mmm-Muh! Sheila's being particularly irksome today.
Poit.
Do you know, when margaret's like that, I turn her inside out.
Ok, places for rehearsal.
It's a little different, But i'm thinking funny different.
Where's the cage, bobby? Cage? The cage where i unfold my plan for world domination? The cage was nice, butmemos and no cage.
Places! I hope.
Quiet.
Quiet! And action.
"Brain.
When i'm done cleanin', "Can we go to the coffeehouse And hang out with our single friends? Brain?" I am up here, pinky, fixing this ceiling light.
"Oh.
Let me turn on a light So you can see what you're doing.
" No, pinky.
Yaaaahhhh! "Welcome home from school, yurkel.
" Pinky, my man.
Mmm, mmm! You are lookin' sharp today.
Yes, yurkel, You can have some pimento loaf.
Mmm, mmm.
Wakka wakka doo! Come on, gang! No, yurkel.
Aaahhh! Uhh! "Oh, brain, how did a couple of bachelors like us End up looking after a house full of orphans?" "I don't know, pinky, But we sure have grown to love them.
" Hi, boys.
"Robot.
How many times have i told you? Use the front door.
" Door shmore.
"Oh, robot" you sure are sassy.
All right, all right, all right.
That's it! Cut? This is the worst piece of drivel I've ever had the displeasure of performing.
I'd be ashamed to have this mess Bear the title pinky and the brain.
We could change it maybe to suddenly yurkel.
Ok! I quit! I quit, too! Don't worry, pinky.
Nifty says he can get us lots of work.
Oh.
Brain? Yes, pinky? What does "quitting" mean? Well [mumbles indistinctly.]
Nooo! Are you sure nifty knows To call us at your restaurant, brain? Yes.
I left him a message.
[Ring.]
Brain's famous.
Are you pondering a reservation? I'm pondering a 40 share opposite seinfeld.
Nifty! Have i got a gig for you two! A gig? Strike while the iron is hot, and you are hot! Sss! Ouch! Yes.
Hot.
Ha ha.
What-- What kind of a gig? You are one mouse flambé.
Drop and roll, baby.
Fire.
Yes.
Ha ha ha! So--So what kind of a gig? How do you look in gold lamé? Announcer: the pinky and the brain variety hour! [Applause.]
[Show theme plays ala i got you, babe .]
[Applause and whistling.]
i used to want to rule the earth but now i'm happy bringing people mirth i've no idea what you just said but would you like to bop me on the head? narf please bop me, brain narf please bop me, brain narf please bop me, brain please bop me i'll bop you brain pinky Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Stop the music.
What's wrong, brain? I thought i was a little flat.
No.
You're just a little short.
How can you tell With that big nose of yours in the way? Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ohhh ha ha ha! We've been blessed by good writers.
Yes.
Wait till you see tori spelling in the camel sketch.
Tori spelling?! Hmmph! You couldn't find a part for me In your big new show? I--I pushed and pushed for you, dear, But the network forced us to use An assortment of talented celebrities.
What were they thinking? Very funny, mr.
Tv comedy genius! You can laugh yourself to sleep on the couch tonight.
Ouch, brain.
Ooh.
That's all right, pinky.
She'll be fine once we get the ratings.
[Telephone rings.]
[Ring.]
This is the brain.
Canceled? How can it be canceled? This is the first show.
It just started.
What can i say? The numbers come in fast these days.
But don't worry about a thing.
You're still burning up.
I am? Scalding! You radiate heat.
I could toast weenies over the phone.
As i told the great buddy gunther, When you have heat, you never lose it.
Ya can't put out a fire.
Who's buddy gunther? Wellhe doesn't work as much as he used to, But he was hot, baby.
Sowhat's next? How'd you like to do some cameos? Something for spielberg? Tarantino? I was thinking maybe we start with episodic.
[Show theme plays.]
Hostile alien life forms approaching, sir.
Kill them.
Arrhh--Aah! Arrhh--Aah! [Show theme plays.]
[Siren.]
[Chatter on police radio.]
They're over here.
[Radio chatter.]
I'd like to get the dirtbag who did this.
Blue sky it for me.
What do you want to play next? Something other than a corpse? New rumco solid Takes care of all my smelly, foul refrigerator odors.
Take this, You smelly, foul refrigerator odors! Ooh! Ooh! Thanks, rumco.
[Rapid chatter on phone.]
Yes.
Uh-Huh.
Surface of the sun.
Mm-Hmm.
I'm burning a hole in my couch.
Yes.
Oh.
Yes.
Yeah.
[Fast chatter.]
[Sighs.]
You know what, nifty? I hate you.
Mm-Hmm.
Ah.
You've been hated by the best.
Yes, i'm sure.
By the way you're fired.
[Fast chatter.]
Mm-Hmm.
Oh, yes.
If i ever have a career again And i want it to go straight down the toilet, I'll give you a call.
Ok? Yeah.
Well, you, too! Bye-Bye.
[Sighs.]
[Sniffles.]
We're all alone in the world.
Daryl.
Bring me some more of those crawdads.
[Sobbing.]
No! No, brain! Stop it! Stop it for me! You're not a quitter! I'll get us jobs.
Yes, that's it.
Yes! You don't spend Without making connections! You, pinky? [Chuckles.]
yes.
Perhaps some of your little puppet friends can help us.
Yes! Oh, i know they will, brain.
Now, let me see what favors can i call in? Narf! Oh, you know, I used to lunch with a fellow who did frank oz's nails.
You know, pinky those crawdads tasted a little funny.
Does this month have an "r" in it? No, brain! Oh, no! I'll save us! Margaret! Children, we're very lucky To have pinky and the brain To entertain us for timmy's birthday.
[Children cheering.]
Good gig, pinky.
Yes.
And no pesky agent's fee.
Brain: thank you, mrs.
Gribnick.
Children, For the next 2 hours, pinky and i will be sharing reminiscences Of our days as the stars Of tv's pinky and the brain.
Time allowing, this will be followed By a brief question and answer period.
[Indistinct chatter.]
What are you doing? Did you not hire us To perform an evening with pinky and the brain, madam? I hired you to entertain timmy and his friends.
Now, get to it, buster! Children, mr.
Pinky is going to make Balloon animals for us! [Children cheering.]
Um a worm! [Cheering.]
[Laughter.]
Uh, like, you're not the real brain, 'Cause, um, the real brain's on tv and stuff.
And he's shinier.
And, uh, like, he's all a genius, And, uh, you're really stupid.
Timmy, have you ever heard of a man named w.
C.
Fields? No.
He would've referred to you As an ignorant, snot-Nosed little brat, And he would've been right! Wahhh! Daddy! The fake brain yelled at me! [Timmy sobbing.]
Aah--Oomp! Aah--Oomp! There's a certain liberation In having one's last remaining bit of pride Cracked into a thousand pieces.
Well, that's funny, brain.
The same thing just happened to my collarbone.
Ha ha ha ha! Ow! Ha ha ha! Ow! Pinky, why do i do this? I'm letting a bunch of hollywood idiots Dictate my self-Worth.
I'll move to the country live with the real people.
Sheila and i could sell everything.
We could start over be happy fall in love again.
Yes! I'm going home to tell her right now.
[Crash.]
Oof! Sheila: and stay out, you bum! Oh, darn it! Hey! Oh, sorry, brain.
I thought you were another piece of trash From those darn tourists.
Oh.
No.
Heh heh.
Just a little difference of opinion with the missis.
Yeah, pulled the old "who needs show business" bit, huh? Mm-Hmm.
Yep.
She'll get the house.
Oh, dick.
You've been there.
Tell me what to do.
How do i get back on track? How do i put the pieces back together? Did you ever think about adding hamburgers to the menu? That cajun thing's a little passé.
Yeah, how's margaret? Margaret's a puppet.
Yes? Brain! Sheila kicked me out.
I know, brain.
Poit.
Margaret's left me, too.
Or maybe she just fell behind the dryer.
Hey, boss, they're talkin' about your old show.
Programming chief sandy dreckman announced today That pinky and the brain will soon return To the network's regular schedule.
Pinky! I knew it! They want us back.
Yay! Why haven't they called? I'll bet nifty didn't give them this number.
Here's a clip from the show with its brand-New cast.
New cast? [Southern accent.]
brain? Where are y'all, brain? [Southern accent.]
up here, pinky.
I'm fixin' the dang ceilin' light.
Well, shoot.
Let me turn on a light So's you can see what you're a-Doin'.
No, pinky! [Crackling.]
aah! Who is that? It's beau and luke, brain.
The dukes of hazzard? Brain, how did a couple of dang bachelors like us End up with a houseful of dang kids? I don't know, pinky, But i loves them dang kids! Wakka wakka doo! Show biz insiders predict high ratings.
I always said those dukes boys were hot.
Turn it off.
Oh, cheer up, brain.
At least you still have your lovely restaurant.
Mr.
Brain? I am the brain.
You are hereby evicted from this property for nonpayment of rent.
I'm here to ensure the transfer Of said property to the new owner.
New owner? Really well-Known yurkel's pimento loaf steamboat Is open for business! Wakka wakka doo! No! Nooo! Uhwhat? Huh! Hmm.
A nightmare.
Oh, yes.
Ha.
It was all just a horrible nightmare.
I'm not an actor at all! Ha! I'm the brain! I live in acme labs! Ho ho! Hello, you beautiful bars! Mwah! Hello, cage.
I love you! [Yawning.]
Narf! What's going on, brain? I had a horrible dream.
We were big stars, but everybody hated us.
And we lived right next-Door to tv's dick clark.
Oh, i told you not to eat crawdads before bedtime, brain.
Now, go back to sleep.
You'll wake margaret.
Margaret? Hey! Can you two keep it down? I'm tryin' to get some sleep.
[Gasps.]
Aaaahhhh! they're dinky, they're pinky and the brain, brain, brain, brain, brain warner bros.
Captioned by the national --Www.
Ncicap.
Org--