Regular Show (2010) s03e30 Episode Script

Alright, let's get back to work.
We should get go a coffee first.
What? We just had a coffee.
Well, now hang on.
Hear me out.
We'll go to the coffee shop, get another coffee and a jelly donut-- No, dude! We got to stay here and get back to work.
"No, dude! We got to stay here and get back to work.
" Listen to you, man.
I'm gonna start calling you Benson Junior.
Dude, Benson can't stand it when you leave jobs before they're even finished.
Oh, please.
What's he gonna do? - Dude, stop.
- Fire me? It's Benson! Yeah, I know it's Benson! That's how it works around here.
I don't do my work, and he doesn't do a thing about it.
It's a win-win.
Actually, it's a lose-lose, 'cause you're fired! Benson! I was just messing around.
Sorry about that.
I'm just gonna go back to work now, okay? No, you're not! You're actually fired.
I want you out of here.
I'm sorry, Benson.
It won't happen again! Can't you just give him another chance? What's going on here? Benson just fired Rigby.
Why, what's the matter, Benson? Well, for one, he never finishes his work.
That's not true! I always finish my work.
Okay.
So, maybe I don't always finish my work, but, you never told me how to! How am I suppose to do something I don't even know how to do? I don't know.
If you haven't figured it out already, you're not gonna figure it out anytime soon! I want you outta here! Benson, Benson, calm down.
Now I can see why you're distraught, but perhaps you can grant him one more chance? No way.
I've already given him too many.
But, he does have a point.
He's never been properly trained.
Yeah, I do have a good point! A really good point! Isn't there some kind of training thing or something like Pops is saying that I can do? You mean like a mentorship program? Yeah, a mentorship program! Exactly! That's what I need to get my life back on track.
Ah, yes, a mentor! That sounds like a wonderful idea.
So you want a mentorship program? Well, I'll give you a mentorship program.
Muscle Man, this is Benson.
Are you there? Over.
Talk to me.
Over.
Muscle Man do you still have that mentoring harness? Hey, everybody, look! It's Rig-Baby! Quit it! Alright, Rigby.
Here's how this mentorship is going to go down.
You have to remain attached to Muscle man for an entire eight-hour shift so he can show you how to do your job.
If at any time you don't think you can handle it you can just pull that ripcord and walk away.
Yeah! Walk away right back to livin' in yo mama's basement, where you can quit all you want! The clock is ticking, boys, you better get moving.
You're gonna be the best employee in the park by the time I'm through with you.
Because we're about to work real hard.
Alright, time for lesson 1.
Lesson 1 is always stay calm.
Aren't you gonna close the bag? Save all questions till the end of the lesson.
But it reeks! I don't care if it reeks! Just stay calm and you'll get through it unless you wanna quit, cause that's how it sounds right now! Wait! No, no! Don't! Is everything alright here? He asked you a question, Rig-baby.
Answer your boss when he speaks to you.
Fine! Everything's fine! If he steps out of line, don't hesitate to pull that thing.
You ain't gotta tell me twice.
Now pick up that bag of fertilizer, Rig-baby! Just sit back and watch a pro.
This guy's better at mentoring than anyone I've ever seen.
I never knew Muscle man was such an expert! Benson, that was so good of you to give Rigby another chance.
Yep, that's exactly the kind of guy I am.
Lesson 2 is stay cool.
If you overheat, you might not finish your job.
Come on, man! Gotta keep my baby soft skin soft for my lady.
But you wouldn't know nothing about that would you, Rig-baby? Let me down! It's too hot! Let me down! Oh, I'll let you down alright! Alright! I'm sorry! One more of those and you're out of here.
Benson, what time is it? It's 11:43.
Benson, You can't do this to people! You better shut up or I'll give you a mentor.
Rig-baby, repeat lessons 1 and 2.
Lesson 1, stay calm.
Lesson 2, is be cool.
- Stay cool.
- Yeah, stay cool.
- Alright, forget those two lessons.
- WHAT!? Lesson 3 is the only one that matters.
Lesson 3 is never quit.
You say it.
- Never quit.
- What? Never quit.
I'm sorry, did you say something, Rig-baby? I said never quit! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! Never quit! You sound like a quiet little quitter! NEVER QUIT! I'm gonna yank this chord just like your mom yanked that pacifier out of your little baby mouth!! NEVER QUIT!! Well, we'll have to see about that cause we're about to start working real hard.
Muscle man, I think that was the worst day of my life.
What do you mean "was"? You still haven't taken your exam yet.
Are you serious? The day's almost over.
Yeah, well your job's gonna be over if you don't take the exam.
The exam is you have to complete one job to prove that you retained all the information from the membership program.
What's the job? Well, you know how I've been carrying you around all day? Your job is to carry me to that water fountain right over there.
I'm hecka thirsty.
Wait Wait! No! No! It's not as easy as it looks, is it? Just stay calm and you'll get through it.
Just stay cool and you'll finish anything! Forget those two lessons.
The only thing that matters is that you never quit! What's the matter Rig-baby, given up already? I knew you were a quitter from the moment I laid eyes on you! Just say it, Rig-baby! YOU WANNA QUIT, JUST SAY IT!! No! Muscle Man! None of this has to do with mentoring! You're not a mentor! You're just a BIG, FAT, SMELLY, JERK!! Well, then I guess we're done here.
If you don't appreciate what I'm trying to do for you then you don't deserve this job, quitter! No, don't! I'll get fired! NO! What are you doing?! Get off my face! It's over! No way! I've gone through too much! Get off of me, quitter! No! I'll never quit! I am not a quitter! Here we go, baby.
If he lets go of Muscle Man, I get to fire him.
Oh my Benson, You've got to stop this!! He's gonna kill him! He's still got a minute to go.
You've got to call it off, Benson! Well now hold on He's still got 10 seconds.
.
It's five o'clock! IT'S FIVE O'CLOCK! Never quit! Muscle man, are you alright?! Muscle Man? Don't you quit on me! Congrats, Rigby.
You passed the mentorship program.
Yo Benson This one's good to go.
- Dude, good job.
- Thanks.
Rigby, I'm proud of you.
Not only did you last the whole day without quitting, but you applied to what you learned from your mentor to keep your job.
Welcome back.
Nice! Congratulations, Rigby! I knew you could do it.
Thanks, Pops.
Not everybody agrees with my mentorship style.
It's even received it's fairness of criticism throughout the years, but you took it like a man, bro.
You worked hard out there today Rig by.
Where are you gonna go, now Muscle man? I don't know.
Wherever the wind takes me, I guess.
Probably find a place to settle down And get a burger with a large side of onion rings.
See you around, Ladies! You wanna get some food or something? Sure, dude.
But you should probably take a shower first.
You smell like Muscle Man.