Regular Show (2010) s03e33 Episode Script
Diary
Dude, let's water them later! No! We're watering Margaret's plants now! Ughh.
You're so whipped.
No, I'm not.
Yeah, right.
You're whipped with a capital "Whoop-shhh"! Just help me water the plants.
Whoa.
This place is awesome! Aw, yeah! A grill! After we start dating, I'll totally invite you over for burgers.
Whatever.
Can we just get this over with so we can leave? Chill, dude.
I can't believe Margaret asked us to water her plants while she's gone for the weekend.
I think this really shows a level of trust.
I think you're reading too much into it.
All she did was ask you to water her plants.
Yeah, well, I don't see anyone asking you to water their plants.
Man, she's got a lot of plants.
I can't believe you told her you'd water all these.
What a chump.
It's because Margaret's my friend.
Pshh! Yeah, your friend without benefits.
Hey, shut up and come help me find the watering can.
Ughhh.
Aw, the bedroom door's locked.
It wouldn't be in her bedroom.
Stay out of there.
"Oh, Mordecai? He's all right.
It's not like we're dating or anything.
I just let him come over and water my plants sometimes.
" Hey, put that back! No! I want to wear it while I water the plants.
Put it back! Make me.
Get off of me! I want to wear it while I water the plants! Dude, what did you do?! What do you mean, what did I do? You pushed me! Dude, you broke it! Yeah, right.
You can't break books.
And besides, even if it did break, just put it back and don't say anything.
Dude, you totally broke it.
Look.
This thing has a lock on it.
What? What kind of a book has a lock on it? I don't know.
Oh, no.
What? This is Margaret's diary.
Dude, she's gonna think I was reading her diary! This is bad.
Dude, what's the big deal? It's just some lame old diary.
I mean, why do people even need to keep secrets? I don't have any secrets.
Do you have any secrets? I know I sure don't.
I don't care.
If she comes home and finds this thing broken, she's gonna think I read it.
We have to fix it before she gets back.
Come on.
Come on.
Ugh! Will you chill out? It's not gonna stick without glue.
Gah! Looks like Rigby has to bail you out again.
Aw, yeah! Supe Da Glup! Dude, just a drop.
I know.
Just a drop! I know! Dude, I said just a drop! You were making me nervous! Aw, man! Let me see that glue.
Okay, okay, okay.
It says here that we can remove the glue with heat.
Let me handle it.
Wait! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! We're not putting anything in the microwave.
Dude, it's working.
Ye-e-e-ah, it is.
Aaaah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! I got it! I got it! Dude, that's not Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Hunh! You think she'll notice? Can you fix it? What is it? It's Margaret's diary.
Why does it look like that? It's a long story.
Oh.
Hmmmm.
Sorry.
This can't be fixed with any traditional methods.
Ughh! Well, then, do you have any untraditional ones? Of course.
There is one way.
I can transfer it to a new diary using a magic quill pen.
Thank you, Skips.
In order for this to work, we have to be in the same place that the diary was broken.
Margaret's house.
But first, I want you both to know that diaries are a serious business because they contain secrets.
And secrets must be protected at all costs.
Yeah, Skips, we know.
Do you? Look, out of respect for Margaret's secrets, I'm gonna help you guys.
But you have to take it seriously and do exactly as I say.
Yeah, Skips, we promise.
Yeah, we promise.
Well, you better, because secrets are a force to be reckoned with.
Aw, what?! That doesn't look anything like Margaret's diary.
As in written content, so, too, in physical appearance will the books become identical.
All right, guys.
Join hands.
I'm not gonna hold hands.
Come on, dude.
Just do it.
He's trying to help us out.
Ughh.
Fine.
Okay, its time to begin.
Now, no matter what you hear, you mustn't look at Margaret's thoughts as the quill transfers the secrets.
Now we must all close our eyes.
Rigby, close your eyes.
Fine.
I'm closing them.
Begin.
What are they saying? Just keep your eyes closed and ignore them.
How much longer is this gonna take?! It should be any minute.
Just keep your eyes closed! Co-o-o-o-ol.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaah! The transfer is incomplete.
Did everyone keep their eyes shut? I kept mine shut.
What? All right, fine.
There's a chance I might've maybe probably looked, maybe.
Rigby! Do you have any idea what you've done?! What is that? It's coming from outside! Wh-o-o-oa.
Margaret? That's not Margaret.
When Rigby looked I said maybe looked Maybe! he released the guardian of Margaret's secrets.
She will destroy us for looking at her secrets! What do we do?! There's only one way to stop this.
Each of us must reveal a secret of our own, or she'll destroy us! All right.
I'll go first.
The reason I always skip is, in all my life, my heart yearned for only one woman.
And we used to skip together all the time.
On the day I lost her, I vowed to skip every day for the rest of my life so that I'd never forget the time we spent together.
It's working! Now tell your secrets! Uh, okay.
Uh, sometimes when we're supposed to be cleaning out gutters, we go to get coffee instead.
Yeah, yeah! Good one! And a lot of time, I don't even get coffee.
I just don't feel like cleaning out the gutters.
No! It has to be something meaningful! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! How meaningful does it have to be?! Aaah! Unless you tell a real secret, we're all gonna die! All right, I'll do it! I like to sing along to really bad pop music! Aaaaaaaah! I ate a donut out of the trash! I like going commando! A lot! I actually like the taste of donuts better when they're from the trash! Aaaaah! Rigby! Remember when we ordered beds for our room and yours never showed up? I lied! I stacked them up, and I've been sleeping on them the whole time! I'm sorry, dude! It's just too comfortable! Are you serious? Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Rigby! Say something! Aaaaaaah! When I was little, I stole my neighbor's bike and threw it off the roof! It has to be something deep! Sometimes I hide Pops' shoes because I think it's funny when he's looking for them! I'm a horrible person! I hate taking showers, and I hate kittens! I lied about being on the football team! I think Eileen is hot without her glasses on!! Let's finish this! Whoa! It looks exactly like Margaret's! Skips, how can we repay you? Do you remember that stuff I said about why I skip? Yeah.
No, you don't.
I knew it was my mattress.
So, Eileen, huh? Stop talking!! I can't believe we got the diary back together.
Yeah, what a pain.
I never want to water Margaret's plants ever again.
Wait.
Did we ever actually water her plants? Here she comes.
Ha ha! Oh, hey, Margaret! How was your trip? It was nice, but I can only take my parents for so long, you know? Tell me about it.
'Rents are the worst.
Well, you don't have to worry about your plants or if the roof is still on your apartment or whatever.
Because it's fine is what I meant.
Ha ha ha! Oh, you guys didn't go and water them, did you? Yeah.
Why? I forgot that I already asked Eileen to do it.
Really?! Yeah, she had the spare bedroom all weekend.
Sorry you guys went through all that trouble.
I guess we just missed each other.
So, don't worry about it.
Yeah, it's cool.
Hey, guys.
Here's your coffee.
You're so whipped.
No, I'm not.
Yeah, right.
You're whipped with a capital "Whoop-shhh"! Just help me water the plants.
Whoa.
This place is awesome! Aw, yeah! A grill! After we start dating, I'll totally invite you over for burgers.
Whatever.
Can we just get this over with so we can leave? Chill, dude.
I can't believe Margaret asked us to water her plants while she's gone for the weekend.
I think this really shows a level of trust.
I think you're reading too much into it.
All she did was ask you to water her plants.
Yeah, well, I don't see anyone asking you to water their plants.
Man, she's got a lot of plants.
I can't believe you told her you'd water all these.
What a chump.
It's because Margaret's my friend.
Pshh! Yeah, your friend without benefits.
Hey, shut up and come help me find the watering can.
Ughhh.
Aw, the bedroom door's locked.
It wouldn't be in her bedroom.
Stay out of there.
"Oh, Mordecai? He's all right.
It's not like we're dating or anything.
I just let him come over and water my plants sometimes.
" Hey, put that back! No! I want to wear it while I water the plants.
Put it back! Make me.
Get off of me! I want to wear it while I water the plants! Dude, what did you do?! What do you mean, what did I do? You pushed me! Dude, you broke it! Yeah, right.
You can't break books.
And besides, even if it did break, just put it back and don't say anything.
Dude, you totally broke it.
Look.
This thing has a lock on it.
What? What kind of a book has a lock on it? I don't know.
Oh, no.
What? This is Margaret's diary.
Dude, she's gonna think I was reading her diary! This is bad.
Dude, what's the big deal? It's just some lame old diary.
I mean, why do people even need to keep secrets? I don't have any secrets.
Do you have any secrets? I know I sure don't.
I don't care.
If she comes home and finds this thing broken, she's gonna think I read it.
We have to fix it before she gets back.
Come on.
Come on.
Ugh! Will you chill out? It's not gonna stick without glue.
Gah! Looks like Rigby has to bail you out again.
Aw, yeah! Supe Da Glup! Dude, just a drop.
I know.
Just a drop! I know! Dude, I said just a drop! You were making me nervous! Aw, man! Let me see that glue.
Okay, okay, okay.
It says here that we can remove the glue with heat.
Let me handle it.
Wait! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! We're not putting anything in the microwave.
Dude, it's working.
Ye-e-e-ah, it is.
Aaaah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! I got it! I got it! Dude, that's not Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Hunh! You think she'll notice? Can you fix it? What is it? It's Margaret's diary.
Why does it look like that? It's a long story.
Oh.
Hmmmm.
Sorry.
This can't be fixed with any traditional methods.
Ughh! Well, then, do you have any untraditional ones? Of course.
There is one way.
I can transfer it to a new diary using a magic quill pen.
Thank you, Skips.
In order for this to work, we have to be in the same place that the diary was broken.
Margaret's house.
But first, I want you both to know that diaries are a serious business because they contain secrets.
And secrets must be protected at all costs.
Yeah, Skips, we know.
Do you? Look, out of respect for Margaret's secrets, I'm gonna help you guys.
But you have to take it seriously and do exactly as I say.
Yeah, Skips, we promise.
Yeah, we promise.
Well, you better, because secrets are a force to be reckoned with.
Aw, what?! That doesn't look anything like Margaret's diary.
As in written content, so, too, in physical appearance will the books become identical.
All right, guys.
Join hands.
I'm not gonna hold hands.
Come on, dude.
Just do it.
He's trying to help us out.
Ughh.
Fine.
Okay, its time to begin.
Now, no matter what you hear, you mustn't look at Margaret's thoughts as the quill transfers the secrets.
Now we must all close our eyes.
Rigby, close your eyes.
Fine.
I'm closing them.
Begin.
What are they saying? Just keep your eyes closed and ignore them.
How much longer is this gonna take?! It should be any minute.
Just keep your eyes closed! Co-o-o-o-ol.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaah! The transfer is incomplete.
Did everyone keep their eyes shut? I kept mine shut.
What? All right, fine.
There's a chance I might've maybe probably looked, maybe.
Rigby! Do you have any idea what you've done?! What is that? It's coming from outside! Wh-o-o-oa.
Margaret? That's not Margaret.
When Rigby looked I said maybe looked Maybe! he released the guardian of Margaret's secrets.
She will destroy us for looking at her secrets! What do we do?! There's only one way to stop this.
Each of us must reveal a secret of our own, or she'll destroy us! All right.
I'll go first.
The reason I always skip is, in all my life, my heart yearned for only one woman.
And we used to skip together all the time.
On the day I lost her, I vowed to skip every day for the rest of my life so that I'd never forget the time we spent together.
It's working! Now tell your secrets! Uh, okay.
Uh, sometimes when we're supposed to be cleaning out gutters, we go to get coffee instead.
Yeah, yeah! Good one! And a lot of time, I don't even get coffee.
I just don't feel like cleaning out the gutters.
No! It has to be something meaningful! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! How meaningful does it have to be?! Aaah! Unless you tell a real secret, we're all gonna die! All right, I'll do it! I like to sing along to really bad pop music! Aaaaaaaah! I ate a donut out of the trash! I like going commando! A lot! I actually like the taste of donuts better when they're from the trash! Aaaaah! Rigby! Remember when we ordered beds for our room and yours never showed up? I lied! I stacked them up, and I've been sleeping on them the whole time! I'm sorry, dude! It's just too comfortable! Are you serious? Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Rigby! Say something! Aaaaaaah! When I was little, I stole my neighbor's bike and threw it off the roof! It has to be something deep! Sometimes I hide Pops' shoes because I think it's funny when he's looking for them! I'm a horrible person! I hate taking showers, and I hate kittens! I lied about being on the football team! I think Eileen is hot without her glasses on!! Let's finish this! Whoa! It looks exactly like Margaret's! Skips, how can we repay you? Do you remember that stuff I said about why I skip? Yeah.
No, you don't.
I knew it was my mattress.
So, Eileen, huh? Stop talking!! I can't believe we got the diary back together.
Yeah, what a pain.
I never want to water Margaret's plants ever again.
Wait.
Did we ever actually water her plants? Here she comes.
Ha ha! Oh, hey, Margaret! How was your trip? It was nice, but I can only take my parents for so long, you know? Tell me about it.
'Rents are the worst.
Well, you don't have to worry about your plants or if the roof is still on your apartment or whatever.
Because it's fine is what I meant.
Ha ha ha! Oh, you guys didn't go and water them, did you? Yeah.
Why? I forgot that I already asked Eileen to do it.
Really?! Yeah, she had the spare bedroom all weekend.
Sorry you guys went through all that trouble.
I guess we just missed each other.
So, don't worry about it.
Yeah, it's cool.
Hey, guys.
Here's your coffee.