Clarence US (2014) s03e35 Episode Script

1 [Remote clicks.]
[Upbeat music.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Music.]
Chad: Just testing out the new camera on my two favorite people! Hey, Chad! Mom let me take a bath in my clothes.
All right, this is a one-time thing.
Don't Oh! [Water splashes.]
[Laughs.]
Oh, yeah.
Still good.
[Chuckles.]
Still really good.
Clarence: Think it goes Oh, there we go.
Hmm.
What's this do? [Chuckles.]
Whoops! Oh, yeah, this is gonna be perfect for a movie.
I'll give you a tour of my movie studio.
This is my mom.
[Stammering.]
- Say hi, Mom! - Hey, there! Over here is my room where I'm gonna make the movie.
And here's my toys.
They're actors.
[Singing fanfare.]
Oh, actually There we go.
[Fanfare continues.]
- Chad: Hey, bud! - Huh? - Can I borrow the camera? - Um, I was kind of using it.
I'm making a real movie, like the ones in the movie theatre and stuff.
This guy's gonna be the princess.
The bad guy is him.
"Agh! I'm mean! I'm gonna capture the princess!" Whoa.
He sounds really evil.
Yeah, but he's pretty handsome.
- I think I got to find a hero, too - Yeah.
Just let me know when you're done.
I need to finish my audition tape.
[Laughs maniacally.]
Now, Princess Chompy, you're gonna get runned over by the big train! Ha, ha! Not today! Huh? Oh, no.
It's Robert the Hero! Be gone with you, Dr.
Zombieman! Pew! Pew, pew, pew! Agh! I shall return! [Chuckles.]
His butt.
[High-pitched voice.]
I knew you'd come for me.
[Deep voice.]
Of course.
I love you.
[High-pitched voice.]
And I love you, Robert.
[Music.]
[Music.]
Thanks for the extra tape, Jeff.
Oh, sure.
It was just lying around my house.
Say hi, guys! You're my test audience! - Hello! Hola! - Jeff! Buongiorno! Kon'nichiwa.
- Jeff, say hi.
- Ni hao! - Welcome to the movie screening! - It's starting! Oh, yeah! Sumo, hold the camera.
Before we begin, a quick word with the movie's big-shot director, Clarence.
Wait, who, me? [Laughter.]
We worked real hard on this movie, didn't we? Yeah.
I'd say we made it High-five for a perfect movie! Oh-oh! Too slow! [Laughter.]
[Deep voice.]
I love you.
[High-pitcherd voice.]
And I love you, Robert.
- Sumo: Huh? - Jeff: Is that it? So, what'd you guys think? It's like a real movie, right? Yeah Looks pretty real.
But it just cuts off like that at the end? - Mm, the tape ran out.
- Well, what happens next? - I don't know.
- Does the villain come back? [Sighs.]
They hated it.
That's just the struggle of a filmmaker.
Hey, man.
Jeff and I were talking We want to help you finish the film! - Yeah, yeah, yeah! - We could do voices.
- Ooh! Yeah! - Amp up the production value.
- Clarence: And then you're like - Oh, okay.
- Okay, so, Jeff's gonna start.
- Okay.
And then the bad guy will come in back for another fight.
Um, Dr.
Zombieman isn't under the bed.
Oh, I threw him outside.
Well, now may we live happy forever.
[High-pitched voice.]
Yes, we can.
Mwah.
[Both smooching.]
- Wait, you started already? - Clarence: Uh, no, wait! [Deep voice.]
Nyah-ha-ha-ha! You thought it would be that easy to get rid of me, but today, you are out of luck! [Sumo laughs.]
- What? - What's with that voice, man? Th-That's my Dr.
Zombieman voice.
It's a choice.
It's good.
Nyah-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Nyah [Sumo laughing.]
Sumo! Come on.
[Laughter.]
[Panting.]
Okay, okay.
[Laughs.]
I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.
- I'm good.
[Laughs.]
- Clarence: You sure? Well, must be my lucky day 'cause I get to defeat you twice two times.
Wow.
It's almost like a real movie with your voice.
Oh, we should just [High-pitched voice.]
Oh, no! I'm turning into a human now! [Flourish.]
Oh, cool! I got hands.
Sumo: What? I'm turning into a [Flourish.]
Whoa! Ribbit! Jeff: And now I, Dr.
Zombieman, will transfo Whoa! [Gasps.]
Can we redo that? No way! That was perfect! Clarence: Yeah, Jeff.
You got it to look real by doing that crazy stunt.
I guess it did look pretty good.
Oh! More stunts! Yeah, more stunts! [Keyboard playing.]
sliding down the building.
[Music.]
- Oh, no! Lava! - Oh, no! Cool, and then we'll add the lava later? [Screaming.]
[High-pitched voice.]
The space between these bars is too tight! I got to cut off my arm to escape! [Laughs.]
Hey, buddy, you done with the camera yet? [Screams.]
Clarence! Are you okay? [Grunts.]
Okay, bud, let me see.
[Chuckles.]
It's just a little movie magic.
Not cool! And, Jeff, don't be such an accomplice! Be your own person! What the heck is going on over here? This just It's too much rough-housing for inside.
- Sorry, Mom.
- It's okay.
How about I take you to the park, you know? You can make your movie there.
Su-Sumo? You got a big nose [Breathing heavily.]
Jeff: Is the red light on? Check Sumo, do the, like, uh, clappy thing.
- Oh! Clap! - No, you got to say, "Take one!" - Oh.
Okay.
Take o - Go! You can't stop me, Hero! I'm going to get you! And the princess! With this train! You'll never get away with this, Dr.
Zombieman! [Clarence chuckling.]
- Did you get that? - Oh, um, yeah, - but it doesn't look real.
- W-What do you mean? The princess is mine! No way! Because I'm gonna It doesn't look believable.
- What? - Does the sky look real? These trees? How about this train? Does this look real? Does Does Mr.
Reese look real? Uh, yeah! He does! - Clarence! Where you going? - Clarence, get back here! - Clarence: Mr.
Reese! - Aah! [Gasps.]
Oh! Clarence.
Hey, there.
Got a camera, huh? Pretty nice.
Make sure you get my good side.
- Yeah.
- Want to be in my movie? Oh, well, um, those days of fantasy are behind me.
I'm about real life nowadays.
Are you here all by yourself? What's real life like for you? I haven't seen my grandpa in a while, and Oh! There he is! Grandpa! - Camden, come here.
- Clarence: Aww! That's nice.
I guess real life isn't explosions and bad guys.
It's like feelings and this bird and little things like this bird.
- Now, that's a movie.
- Jeff: Oh, there you are.
- Are we gonna finish your movie, or? - Hmm, I don't know.
Something about it's just not working for me.
- What? - Yo! Hey, guys! Chelsea! What are your feelings on real life? - I can keep it real.
- Do you want to be in our movie? - A movie? - Yeah! I'm the hero, and Jeff's the butthead.
Sumo, we can't say that if we want a proper rating! [Laughter.]
He said butt.
Clarence: Oh.
This is my ending.
Real life.
So, Sumo, you put Jeff in the tube.
- [Laughs.]
Okay! - Wait, wait, what? Clarence: Here.
I found this in Jeff's box of stuff.
[Laughs.]
I love it! So, who am I playing again? The mayor? Yeah, sure.
Tell me, Chelsea, how does Sumo make you feel? - Sumo? - Yeah.
- Uh, what do you think about him? - Uh, he's cool, I guess.
[Chuckles.]
Yeah, he is.
You did it, Robert! You are a hero! You saved the day! Was that good? Clarence: Actually, let's try a take where you lift Sumo's hand in the air.
Okay.
Yay! You did it! Clarence: Okay.
Hold it.
- Did you get it? - Just a sec.
There once was a boy named Sumo And he was so sad He cried every day But then someone named Chelsea came to him and said I love Sumo? And now they are in love But no one knows Secret love Sumo and Chelsea are in secret love It's real life.
Wow.
Honestly, I had no idea.
- What the heck was that?! - Clarence: It's my movie.
Where are the explosions and stunts? - Clarence: It's truth on film.
- No, Clarence, you tricked us! We're aren't secret boyfriends! You made all that up! Clarence: I made it real.
I made it true! We're not just characters in your movie! We're real people! Ah, man, enough with the camera! Stop filming! Clarence: But the camera loves you! What if we filmed you all the time and then made a movie about how much you love Jeff? - Clarence: But I do love Jeff.
- Just give me the camera.
Nuh-unh! We need to make the sequel.
Give us the camera! - Nope! - Clarence! [Panting.]
Agh! [Chuckles.]
You guys can't get me.
Aah! [Thud.]
- Clarence! - Hi, Sumo! - Hi! - Jeff: Clarence, are you okay? [Groans.]
I don't like this ending.
Chelsea: Yeah! Movies are supposed to have - happy endings! - Yeah! - Yep! - Clarence: Yeah.
Jeff: Okay.
Action! You saved the princess, Robert! What are What are you going to do now? Well, Mayor, I still have to defeat the most dangerous foe myself.
Cut! [Laughter.]
Did you see how good I was in that scene? [Laughter continues.]
Oh, wait! I just want to take this moment to say that Chelsea and Sumo aren't secret boyfriends.
- We're not! - Nope.
The end.
- Mwah! - Jeff: Okay! - Cut, Clarence! - Mwah! Oh, get your Get away! - Is it centered? - Clarence: Mm-hmm.
Yep.
Okay, cool.
Uh, hi! I'm Chad.
This is my audition for "Ninja Mansion.
" Uh I can play guitar, and my girlfriend taught some karate.
So I can play some sweet licks and do some sick kicks.
[Grunts.]
Agh! [Groans, sighs.]
[Chuckles.]
Butt.
[Music.]
So the kid just sent this in, and we, uh? Yeah.
Just Just got got it in the mail, an unsolicited submission.
- Well, it's good, I'll say that much.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
- Great, right? - It's good.
It's really good.
It could move a lot of toys.
Okay, well, let's do lunch.
Early to bed Early to rise Picking my nose