Phineas and Ferb s03e40 Episode Script

Oh, strange phenomenon, tell me why you keep making my brothers' inventions disappear.
Give me a sign! Ugh! Why do you toy with me? My 4th grade science book? "The scientific method has proven to be mankind's most useful tool for understanding the truth behind formerly strange phenomena".
You boys ready for pie tonight? Doonkelberry pie! Our favorite! No, not doonkelberry pie.
Everybody's out of doonkelberries! You can't find them anywhere lately.
Really? Let me check.
I'll be berry interested to see what you find.
Good one, Mom.
We should cast our net a little wider than Danville.
Bingo! It looks like there are some in Drusselstein! It looks like there are some in Drusselstein! Drusselstein is a rustic Eastern European country, whose primary export is doonkelberries.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! Hey, where's Perry? Good morning, Agent P, and welcome to the field test of our new talking letter.
As you can see, it looks like a normal letter, except for this strange gibberish text that no one can read, and the obvious fact that it's got a little talking photo of Actually, this is a silly idea.
I mean, we had to mail this last Tuesday.
Plus, it's really just dumb-lucked that nobody else picked up the mail first.
Well, whatever.
Open the box, Agent P.
That's right, rumpkinhosen! We're sending you to Drusselstein.
Doofenshmirtz will arrive there this morning, and we must know what he's up to.
Now this letter will self-destruct.
Oh! Oh, and the, uh box, as well.
You know, I really don't know what we were thinking with– Hey, Phineas! What'cha doin'? We're gonna build a trebuchet to shoot ourselves to Europe.
Cool! Gravity or tension spring? Well, gravity proba– Wait.
When did you learn trebuchet mechanics? Medieval Siege Engine Patch.
It was my first one.
I'm looking for a book on scientific investigation and disappearing objects.
Got anything? Let's see Um Disappearing Objects: A Scientific Investigation.
Um Disappearing Objects: A Scientific Investigation.
Sound good? Sh'ya! Oh, it's checked out to a Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
Yes? Vanessa? Doofenshmirtz.
It's my last name.
Heinz is my dad.
Doofenshmirtz? What's that, like, Chinese? It's Drusselsteinian.
Right, from Drusselsteinia! I'm heading over to my dad's house if you want to look for your book.
Cool.
Drusselstein Department of Motor Vehicles and Goat Registration! And this is it, right here.
Thanks for the ride! Keep the change! What change? You've been hitchhiking! It's an expression! Hm.
Perry the Platypus? Wow, rumpkinhosen.
Five seconds and you've already gone native.
Well, don't worry, I'm not doing anything evil today, I'm just here to renew my driver's license.
Say, as long as you're here, why don't you stay and keep me company? Please? It's so boring.
You know, traditionally, these things don't have much range.
Yeah, it's a bit of a cheat to use a warp generator to bend the fabric of space, but I'm sure they would've done it in olden times if the technology were available.
If the trebuchet can't go to Drusselstein, bring Drusselstein to the trebuchet! Baljeet? Bending! Hmm! Rustic! Here it is! This may be the only place in the world to get doonkelberries right now.
That's because I have my own doonkelberry field.
So when I need more, I pick more.
But, what about exports? Well, the canning facilities shut down after the shaft stopped working.
The shaft? All of Drusselstein runs off of central shaft.
Or at least it used to.
Or at least it used to.
Drusselstein's a long narrow land, the only country in the world where a central shaft makes any sense, except for maybe Chile.
At the end of the shaft was an exercise wheel powered by thousands of rabbits.
The rabbits turned the wheel, the wheel turned the shaft, and the shaft turned everything else.
A miracle of 16th century science, today! It powered our washing machines, our blenders, our schwingel presses, and of course, it ran all the country's doonkelberry processing plants.
The rabbits couldn't keep up, so we decided to upgrade from rabbits to a more powerful source of energy goats.
So we set up a differential on each side of the shaft, that the goats might walk upon the ground.
But, the Leftsiders sent their goats walking clockwise, and the Rightsiders sent their goats walking counterclockwise.
So the shaft couldn't turn.
But the solution is so obvious! Just have one side turn their goats around.
Yes, but we are a proud people.
In our culture, turning your goats around is the mark of a coward! Neither side will back down.
So it is, such as it has ever been, in Drusselstein, Land of the Shaft! So it is, such as it has ever been, in Drusselstein, Land of the Shaft! I am done, now.
Uh-oh.
Time for the 5 o'clock demonstrations.
Counterclockwise forever! Turn around! We cannot be swayed! You're turning the wrong way! Rightsiders go home! Rightsiders go home! Rightsiders go home! Rightsiders go home! Filthy clockwisers! Your mama! Isabella, how would you like a Conflict Resolution patch? Fill out this form and take it to line 26.
NEXT! Yes? I want to renew my driver's license, please.
Hmm "Hmm"? What do you mean "Hmm"? I'm afraid you will have to be re-certified! I'm afraid you will have to be re-certified! Re-certified? No! But that means Yes! No! You will have to take Don't say it! the driving test! B-But t-there must be some mistake! Your instructor will meet you out back! I al– NEXT! Hold my hand, Perry the Platypus! I'm scared! Lookin' for books at my dad's place! Why are you singing that? It's just something we do.
Hey, swanky! It's all like science-y in here.
Yeah, my dad's kind of an amateur inventor.
I think I saw some books over here.
Oh, here we go.
Uh, we can just put his other stuff anywhere.
What's the name of the book again? Uh Disappearing Objects: A Scientific Investigation.
Uh Disappearing Objects: A Scientific Investigation.
Disappearing objects? You mean, like socks? Like rollercoasters, building to the moon, stampeding cows Stuff like that just disappears.
Does that happen often? Oh, you would not believe.
So, let's recap.
You Leftsiders won't turn your goats around? I believe we have made our position clear.
And you Righsiders won't turn your goats around, either.
This point is non-negotiable! There is only one point! There is only one point! There is only one point! There is only one point! We will never turn! We will never stop! Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
I think we can solve this, but we're gonna need a certain tool.
Wow, this place is just made for scientific inquiry.
Hey, cool telescope! I bet I can see my house from here.
Oh, cool, it's pointed right at it! What the heck is that? Oh, my gosh.
It's another stupid invention.
Thank you, Mr.
Scientific Instrument.
Thanks for coming along, Perry the Platypus.
You know, having you around just makes me feel You know, safer.
In this circumstance.
Back home is exactly the opposite.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz, do you attest that you take this driving test of your own free will? Yes.
You may go! Oh, wait, wait, I-I'm not ready.
Let– Let me psych myself up.
Just a few breathing exercises, then I'll go, okay, right? We have a choker! (Song: Drusselstein Driving Test Waltz) Turn! Yield! Halt! If you fail you'll know who's at fault Avoid vehicular assault As you're doing the Drusselstein Driving Test Waltz Gas! Shift! Brake! Drinking coffee's a big mistake Try not to plunge into the lake When you're doing the Drusselstein Driving Test Waltz I'm okay! Use two hands when you steer her Then check in the mirror What you see may be nearer Don't lay on the horn! See the traffic cop bossing Pedestrians crossing Never drive when you're flossing You'll wish you weren't born! Belt yourself Only way to protect your health Leave your friends all your hard-earned wealth If you croak when you're boldly embarking And parallel parking And acing the written Look out for that kitten! No time for high-fiving You're barely surviving The dangerous Drusselstein Driving Test Waltz! I think I did okay.
Ladies and gentlemen, after careful consideration, we have come up with a solution that we believe will satisfy everyone.
We will not be satisfied! No compromise! No compromise! No compromise! No compromise! Ferb? I did not think it was possible! The shaft is turning in both directions! The science is far beyond us! The viking is right! By separating the shaft, you have united the country! Your goats may walk in any direction you choose, Father! Yours too, my son! It's like a fluganoff miracle! You all have brought peace to our land.
Surely there's something we can do for you? Yes.
Yes, there is.
Fresh doonkleberries! Thanks! Okay, Baljeet! I guess it's lucky that they had a trebuchet in Drusselstein, huh? Henceforth we shall call this day, Phineas and Ferb Day! Henceforth we shall call this day, Phineas and Ferb Day! You mean Ferb and Phineas Day! Phineas and Ferb Day! Ferb and Phineas Day! By descending order of height! Everybody knows that! Hello, Mom! I bet you can't guess why I'm calling! I don't know.
Did the boys build a giant amusement park for leprechauns? I don't know if that's what it is! But if you simply look in the backyard, you'll see it! All right, Candace.
I'm looking.
And surprise, there's nothing there.
Huh? What do you mean, nothing?! But but but But but but But but but Thanks, Vanessa.
What about the scientific method? It's flawed.
Thanks for everything, Perry the Platypus.
And don't worry, I– I'll pay for the dry-cleaning on your rumpkinhosen.
All right, see you back home! I'm taking the trebuchet.
More pie, anyone? No, thanks, Mom.
Delicious, but I'm stuffed.
Me, too! I think it's gonna rain.
It's really overcast out there.
Nah.
That's just Drusselstein.
Baljeet? Oh! Sorry! I should always travel like this! This is grea– Curse you, conceptual elasticity of space-time!