Phineas and Ferb s03e44 Episode Script

Okay, Stace.
I'm all set up.
Nothing could get in between me and some good old-fashioned vitamin D! What about busting your brothers? Don't worry.
I can do both! I've got a perfect view of them from where I'm sitting.
Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
I'm all up in their grill and they don't have a clue! Hi, Candace.
Hey, don't you know it's rude to sneak up on someone who is trying to spy on you? Sorry.
What are you guys doing? Well, you know how we do something new everyday? No! Oh, well We try to build some big project or do something– I'm aware of the concept, Phineas.
I was just being sarcastic.
Really? Hey, that was pretty good.
Wow, I totally fell for it.
Ferb, I totally fell for it, do you– Anyway Oh, right.
Anyway, Ferb and I decided that today, we're gonna let you pick what we're gonna do today! Let me get this straight.
You are going to allow me to pick what you are gonna build today? That's about the size of it, Candace.
Size! That's it! It's gotta be huge.
No, wait.
You built a skyscraper to the moon and Who knows where that went.
No, if this summer's taught me anything, it's not the size of the project that's important.
What matters is proximity.
Mom's proximity.
Think, Candace, think.
This could be the most important decision of your entire summer.
Something that will make Mom come and see what you are building.
Hmm, what will that be? Uh A Mom Attractor! Cool! You mean, like, a big tractor mother with all its little baby tractors? No, I mean, a Mom Attractor.
A big contraption that will attract Mom so that she will come home and see what you guys built.
Well, you heard the lady.
Ferb, she knows what we're gonna do today.
How can I help? Well, we're gonna need a list of things that Mom likes.
Oh, hey, Dad! You know Mom pretty well.
Oh, yes.
I'd like to think so, yes.
I'm trying to think of things that Mom likes.
Oh, so many things, really.
Music, hobbies, you kids.
Ooh! You know what she really likes is my famous rhubarb crème brûlée.
I used to make it for her all the time when we were dating.
Oh, it made her so happy.
You know, I should get out my toque and blowtorch and make one for her today.
What a good idea, Candace.
Thank you.
Candace? Well, all right then.
Ah, there you are, Agent P.
Well, let's get down to brass tacks or whatever it is tacks are made of these days.
It seems that Dr.
Doofenshmirtz has been buying up all the polyethylene in town.
It's a substance apparently used in disposable baby diapers.
It could be an evil scheme or it could just be neutral.
Get out there and absorb the situation.
Now, since your hovercraft is in the shop, Carl has had to arrange last minute alternative transportation for you.
Yes.
Hello, Agent P.
So, yeah, go ahead and put on that fruit hat.
Ooh! Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Gonna mallet, mallet, mallet in the morning Mallet, mallet, mallet all day What is this? Some sort of Latin gorilla cha-cha gram? Hola.
(Hello.
) ¡Ay caramba! Perry the cha-cha gram? I mean, Platy– O-Obviously, uh Perry the Platypus.
And I was– Use the door! Yeah, that was, uh Hmm Not Not, uh good.
Not, uh good.
Oh, well.
There, that's better! I much prefer you trussed up in my happy Jump-inator! Which goes with the theme of my new scheme.
The Baby-Cry-inator! I know what you're saying.
"But, Heinz, you've already done a baby-themed evil plot.
" But this time, I've really nailed it.
Let me explain.
You remember my goody two-shoes brother, Roger, the Mayor? It is a well-known fact that no politician can pass up kissing a baby for fear of alienating the electorate.
This can be risky, though, because if the baby cries, you can alienate the electorate even worse than if you refuse to kiss the baby in the first place.
This has never really been a problem for Roger, though.
Everybody loves Roger! Babies, voters, dogs, cats, guys with shovels, giant squid, you name it.
But this little baby, and by "little baby", I mean enormous baby, is gonna change all of that! Today, when my brother is campaigning, every time he kisses a baby, I will uncork the Baby-Cry-inator! releasing such a wail that the voters will think he is universally hated by babies, and therefore, untrustworthy.
I know it sounds complicated but I've thought this one through.
Babies cry, everyone's unhappy, and I somehow take over.
Babies cry, everyone's unhappy, and I somehow take over.
It's foolproof! Hey, Candace.
Check it out.
Oh My Mom! Oh My Mom! Oh My Mom! That is so cool! Yep.
The Attractor will extract the essence of things that Mom loves, and use it to attract Mom! Things like, Mom's Love Händel albums, an assortment of her favorite chocolate and scented candles, and of course, Mom's lucky Viking helmet.
Why does she have one of those? Women are a mystery.
That's gotta be one of the coolest things you've ever built.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
Let's try it out.
Hey, uh, I don't hear anything! That's 'cause you're not Mom.
Hi, Mom.
What? You feel a sudden and inexplicable urge to come home? It's working! It's functioning properly.
Bye, ladies.
I have a sudden and inexplicable urge to go home.
I am awesome! Awesome, awesome, awesome! Awesome, awesome, awesome! Awesome, awesome, awesome! Awesome, awesome, awesome! Candace is awesome.
Awesome, awesome, awesome! Awesome– Gonna mallet, mallet, mallet in the morning Mallet, mallet, mallet all day! I don't know when I learned this mallet song, but it's really catc– I wouldn't– I wouldn't do that if I were– Come on, come on! Yes! Mom's coming! I just wanna remember this moment.
Relish it.
Revel in it.
Bask in the sunlight of pure, busting bliss! What is all that racket? Huh? Wait! Mom! Phineas and Ferb, why is it not working? Oh, it's working, Candace.
It's just that nothing attracts moms more than the sound of a baby crying! Must soothe baby! Well, apparently, the Mom Attractor has become self-aware.
Cool! Wait, Mom! (Song: We Are the Moms) Mom mom, mom ma-mom mom mom mom Mom mom, mom ma-mom mom mom mom We're leaving our work, we're closing our laptops, and responding to the cry We gotta make sure the baby's fed and, more importantly, they're dry We're professional nose-wipers and know every brand of diaper But you have to pay the piper, don't you ever call us gripers Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah We are the moms and we can't resist the calling We are the moms and we hear a baby bawling We are the moms and everything you've heard is all quite true 'Cause moms will always come through Moms will always come through Ooh, yeah! We are the moms who get you into your pajamas We are the moms and we could do without the drama We are the moms and we'll always do what mamas do 'Cause moms will always come through 'Cause moms will always come through 'Cause moms will always come through! 'Cause moms will always come through! 'Cause moms will always come through Hey, wait! There's too many mommies! Do something! Must soothe baby.
What am I doing here? My goodness! I better get back to pitching my board.
How did I get here? I need to pick up Will from soccer.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz.
What happened to that giant crying baby? Roger Doofenshmirtz came and it just stopped.
Babies love him! Four more years! Four more years! Oh, no! I left a pie in the oven.
Who's watching my classroom? My watermelon! Wow, this place has never looked neater than this! Oh, no! I-I just had the place cleaned.
Curse you, Perry the Platypus! And your destructive, fruit-loving simian friend who doesn't know how to use the door! Curse him, too! Candace, let go! Mom! Phineas and Ferb made a Mom Attractor and it's in the backyard! See?! Yes.
Yes, there is a Mom Attractor in the backyard.
Hello, darling.
Look, I made my famous rhubarb crème brûlée.
Hmm, eh? Don't mind if I do.
But– They asked me to pick And I did And it worked! And now it's gone! And now it's gone! Where did it go? Where does it always go?! Mama.
There.
There.
This is too cool! Whose idea was this? Oh, it was Candace's, actually.
You, my dear, are pretty awesome.
Awesome, awesome, awesome