Phineas and Ferb s03e48 Episode Script

All right, Candace, I'm headed out to the zoo to do my volunteer work.
Which means I'm in charge.
Well, not really, 'cause Dad's here.
Right, honey? That's right, dear.
And now back to Horse in a Bookcase.
(Song: Horse in a Bookcase) It's a horse in a bookcase It's a horse in a bookcase Little horse in a bookcase It's a horse! You're in charge.
Bye, Mom! Have fun at the zoo! Hello, Candace.
Are Phineas and Ferb here? Yes.
Yes? Can I see them? Probably not from there.
I would like to visit with my friends, Phineas and Ferb.
Can I please come in? Well, why didn't you say so? I am sure you would like to know what it is I am holding in my hands.
Nope.
Well, if you insist.
Behold, the Ultimate Phineas and Ferb Digital Scrapbook! UPAFDS for short.
Up-a-feds? UPAFDS! Whatevs.
It's a digital compilation of Phineas and Ferb's creations! Phineas and Ferb's creations? Yeah, see? It's everything they've done over the summer.
It's perfect! Could I just borrow that for a– Foo-foo-foo-foo-foo! The UPAFDS does not leave my person! Hey, Irving! Is that the UPAFDS? Why, yes.
Yes, it is.
Cool! Let's see! We interrupt Horse in a Bookcase to bring you this breaking news bulletin.
Little Crikey the Crocodile has gone missing.
Kids everywhere remember little Crikey the Crocodile from his popular show, Little Crikey the Crocodile.
I don't know, I just thought it would be nice for Crikey to take a ride, get some fresh air.
Uh, but a couple of speed bumps later, badda-bing, badda-boom, no Crikey! I just hope he's okay.
Search parties are looking in the swamp areas in Danville, but nobody's seen any sign of him.
They're wasting their time in that swampy marsh.
Everyone knows crocodiles head for the sewers.
That's where we need to look.
Tiny Crikey needs our help.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! Ferb, I know what I'm gonna do today, too! Yes, Ferb.
I know what I'm gonna take today! I mean borrow.
I mean– Hey, where's Perry? Good morning, Agent P.
I know what you're thinking.
"Aren't you Hollywood's Ray Liotta?" The answer is yes.
Yes, I am.
I'm sitting in for my good friend, Major Monogram, while he's getting some manscaping done.
I mean, mustaches like that, they don't just happen.
Besides, I owe him big for that favor he did for me at the Academy.
Besides, I owe him big for that favor he did for me at the Academy.
Hey, uh, Ray.
I just did a favor for ya.
Thanks, Francis.
I owe you big.
Anyway, our web monitors tell us that Dr.
Doofenshmirtz has been frequenting websites and blogs dedicated to chickens and chicken-related jokes.
We don't know what that means, but it's gotta be something foul.
We need you to get out there and take him down a peg! Good luck, Agent P! That felt great, Carl! Fighting evil like that, I-I was like zing, wow, yeah! Why did I ever drop out of the Academy to become a big Hollywood star when I'm needed here? Well, to be fair, sir, you do get paid more than we do.
Yes.
Yes, I do.
So tell me exactly how you plan to catch this crocodile.
Simple.
We'll use the Croco-locator.
See that blip straight ahead of us? That's Crikey.
What's that other dot? Oh.
Well, apparently, there's buried treasure down here.
Eh, maybe some other day.
This is so exciting! So, Irving Maybe I should keep this safe while we– Foo-foo-foo-foo! I am sorry, Candace, as much as I have great reverence for you, the UPAFDS does not leave my person EVAH! I am sorry, Candace, as much as I have great reverence for you, the UPAFDS does not leave my person EVAH! Ugh, all I wanna do is show it to Mom! Oh! Well, sure.
As soon as we're done with the mission, we can show her to your mother.
Really? I can just show her to– Wait a minute, did you just call it a "her"? Yeah.
Her.
See? "Hi, Candace, I'm the UPAFDS! And I'm a girl!" Anyway, as soon as we're done finding this little crocodile, it's straight to Mom with the evidence! Come on! Move it, move it, move it! That's the spirit, sis! You guys are going down, down, DOWN!!! You guys are going down, down, DOWN!!! Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Who is it? Oh, Perry the Platypus, come on up.
A-ha! Okay, I chalk that up to poor planning again.
Okay, I chalk that up to poor planning again.
Anyhoo, look at this.
Can you believe it? My goody two-shoes brother's getting an award for being the best Danville Mayor ever for the second year in a row! And he's only been Mayor for one year! I am going to make sure he never gets that award! Uh, you see, people used to laugh at me all the time.
I– I know it's hard to believe now, but it's true.
They would laugh at me.
And would they laugh at my brother? No! Never! Of course not! Well, things are about to change.
Thanks to my brand new Chicken-Replace-inator! Buck buck bawk! This beautiful device replaces anything it hits with a chicken! How funny will that be? Roger gets handed the award, and suddenly, it's a chicken! And not just any chicken, but the nearest chicken! Which, when you think about it, saves a lot of energy.
I mean, why pull some chicken from halfway around the world when, uh, there might be one available right around the corner? Ugh! Ah, this is much better.
Anyway, like I was saying, all I have to do is point this at Roger just as they're handing him his award, and zap! He goes from prestigious Mayor with a major award to just some guy holding a chicken.
I mean, have you ever seen anyone not laugh at a chicken? Chicken, laugh! Chicken, laugh! Chicken, laugh! Chicken, laugh! I-It's obligatory.
The Croco-locator says he should be right here.
Maybe there's some other way to track him.
Phineas, puh-lease.
I'm all the equipment you'll ever need.
I mean, hello?! Let us not forget that I wrestled a ferocious alligator.
A scrappy little crocodile is nothing for a pro like me.
I'n' that right? Oh.
Looks like Little Crikey grew up.
She must be getting a bigger net.
We're gonna need another boat.
Isabella, execute Plan B! Roger that, Phineas! We're on our way! Okay, girls, let's light 'em up! (Song: Subterranean Crocodile Apprehension Expedition) It's a subterranean crocodile apprehension expedition If you've never apprehended a croc underground Then you don't know what you're missing Going through the sewers in a big fanboat Gonna grab a gator and that's all she wrote Get him in a net, and then we're gonna gloat for a while Cause he's a big reptile Lord, look at the size of that gator! Ha-ha! Cause he's a prehistoric lizard with a streak of mean Eyes so black and scales so green More sharp teeth than you've ever seen in his smile Yeah, he's a big reptile Yeah, that's one mean gator.
Nice short cut.
We're right behind her.
Hey, what happened to Buford and Baljeet? Come on! She is getting away! Gimme a second.
If I eat nine, the tenth one is free! It's a subterranean crocodile apprehension expedition Subterranean crocodile apprehension expedition Yes.
Yes, there he is.
The second he takes that award, bazing! There it is.
It's chicken time, baby! The net? Again? Really? You know somethin'– What are you doing? Careful with that! Perry the Platypus, you are gonna get such a chickening! Ha! I hope you're noticing this, Perry the Platypus! Chicken, laugh! Chicken, laugh! Chicken, laugh! Chicken, laugh! See, I told ya! Candace, aim your boat for the middle tube! Candace, you did it! Perry the Platypus, come out, come out, wherever you are.
You've got an appointment with the nearest chicken.
I've got something that I need– Now, prepare to be turned into a– Oh, what's that? A rubber chicken? What are you gonna do with– Actually, that's kinda funny.
No matter! Prepare to meet your chicken! What the heck's wrong with this? Oh, boy.
Agent P! No! No!!! No! No!!! I don't believe it! I go to the store for fifteen minutes and when I get back, I find you've turned our Nearest Chicken Farm into a swap meet! What did you buy, dear? Frozen lasagna.
They were on special two for one, so I bought two, I figured we could have one tonight and then we could have the other one when your sister and her husband– Ah, don't change the subject! Oh, look, it's chickens! It's– I guess chickens aren't as funny as I thought.
Wow, Candace! That was fantastic! The way you handled the boat and brought Crikey to safety You are one pretty awesome big sis! Hi, kids! Hey! How did Crikey get here? They must've brought him in while I was at lunch.
Candace, why are you sitting on a chicken? Wait right here, Mom! I've got evidence! But why was she sitting on a chicken? I don't know, Mom.
It's actually kinda funny.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
Give me that nerd box! I'm tired of being nice! No way! I told you, the UPAFDS does not leave my person, EVER!!! I told you, the UPAFDS does not leave my person, EVER!!! Oh, no! You ate my evidence, you overgrown lizard! There you are, Perry! I just can't believe it's gone! Aw, don't be blue.
All we've gotta do is wait a couple of hours and– Ew, disgusting! What? My brother will be here with my backup.
What were you think– Oh That is disgusting.