Gintama (2005) s03e50 Episode Script
When Breaking a Chuubert in Half, the End with the Knob Should Be Better. It's Also Tasty to Drink from There
Hijikata and Okita have been captured by the mysterious man, Jigzaw, and locked up in a deserted building.
In order to escape, they must obtain a single key provided by Jigzaw.
But only one person can use the key to unlock his chains and escape the room.
When one's shackle is released, the other's will explode.
And if one of them doesn't escape soon, the Shinsengumi station will be blown to pieces by Jigzaw's bomb.
Kill one comrade to save the others.
That would be the game of death Jigzaw has given the Shinsengumi to test their strong bond.
And as for the new assassin Jigzaw has unleashed? What will happen to the Shinsengumi? Why are you doing the summary?! What will happen, my ass! You're the one who set this whole thing up! Why are you talking like you have nothing to do with this?! The hell is wrong with your head?! I'm being considerate for the audience who missed the previous episode.
We want to help them understand what's going on.
How come you're nice to the audience?! Th-That's Wh-What I would like to introduce [Note: Kickzaw is a play on Kikuzo, the name of popular comic storyteller, Kikuzo Hayashiya.]
my beloved dog, Kickzaw.
Isn't he adorable? He has an odd habit.
He always tends to pick up shiny objects when we go for a walk.
Well, let's see what he picked up today.
N-N-N-N-Not good! This is bad! Very bad! He's definitely going to take it! This isn't the time to whine about details! Getting backstabbed is no longer the problem! If he takes it, it's over! No more escape or preventing the station from blowing up! Huh? Hijikata-san, you're sweating really hard.
Are you scared about the key being taken? Huh? What? No way.
Not at all.
What are you talking about? I said we didn't need it.
It's totally unnecessary.
That's right.
We don't need that traitor's tool.
Don't need it.
We'll break out of here with our own power.
Hijikata! Move one step.
I'll instantly purge you as a traitor! Sogo! Do you understand the situation we're in?! Hurry up! Hurry up and betray me, Hijikata! Please, I'll give you 300 yen.
Go, Sogo! Don't be so stubborn! Please betray me already! K-Kickzaw! Wait! Sit! Stay! Shake hands! Stay! Stay! Stay! Can't you hear what I'm saying?! Want me to kill you, stupid dog?! He stopped.
What a relief K-Kickzaw! Safe D-Damn it! Hijikata! You've finally showed your true colors! Sogo Okita, Captain of the 1st Division, shall purge you as a traitor! I-It'd be dangerous if the dog swallowed it.
Okay, now it's safe.
Wh-What are you doing?! ["When breaking a Chuubert in half, the end with the knob should be better.
It's also tasty to drink from there.
".]
W-Water Somebody give me water I-It's useless My body won't listen to me Hijikata-san, this is it.
We've spent two days beating on this pipe without any sleep.
It's been three days since we've had anything to eat Yet we haven't even found a single clue to aid our escape.
Stand up, Sogo The fate of the Shinsengumi rests on our shoulders Less than 24 hours left before the station will be blown up We have to hurry Hurry up and escape Good day, Hijikata-kun, Okita-kun.
Hey! Your mask is half off.
You have less than a day left till the station explodes.
He's eating a Chuubert! [Note: Spoof of Japanese ice candy, Tupet.
.]
It's like he's tired of pretending to be a mysterious character! Oh? It appears that you two will collapse before the station does.
Are you hungry? Do you want some water? I'm pissed! He's pissing me off! Fools.
I gave you a chance to escape and save the station, yet you threw it away However, I have seen many people spout noble ideology under a thin mask, but you are the first ones with such a thick mask.
However, in the end, you still won't have been able to escape.
It may appear that you are acting in the best interests of your comrades, but in reality, you merely don't want to dirty your hands and will cause many of them to die.
I wouldn't mind seeing you all perish together, but that wouldn't make for a fun game.
I shall give you one last chance.
Okay? If you lose this chance, there won't be any way to save you or the Shinsengumi.
There are lockers on each side of you.
Check the locker furthest in.
I've placed another key item there for helping you escape.
Now go.
The time has come to shed those fake masks.
Show me your true selves! The ugliness hidden behind those masks! Hiro-kun, I bought your Famitsu! [Note: Famitsu is a popular video game magazine in Japan.
.]
Hey, your mom's back again, Hiro-kun.
What? My mom? What are you talking about? I am Jigzaw, born from nothingness.
I have no mother.
Hiro-kun, why is your door locked? Hey, be quiet! The neighbors are so loud.
No, you don't need to bother hiding it.
It's your mom, right? We already saw her face so let us say hi.
I said she's not my mom! Don't mess with me, damn it! Honey, move out of the way! Hiroshi! I need to talk to you.
It seems that you were absent from school again today.
Your dad?! Now your dad showed up! Stupid hag! Don't go spilling everything! And don't Hey! There's nothing mysterious about that guy! He reads Famitsu! He only acts strong when he's talking to his mom! He's the one who's letting his mask fall off! Man, he's just some withdrawn brat Hijikata-san, look at this.
A fridge? Is this some kind of trap? Let's open it up.
Hey, wait! That guy's gotta be plotting something In that case, do you intend to just stand around doing nothing? I'm opening it.
This is! What? A Chuubert.
Grape-flavored.
How is that supposed to help?! He probably didn't want us to starve to death before the game ended.
Then give us something more substantial! So, can I have the longer lower part? Lower? Lower is longer? What are you talking about? Lower, as in you know, the side you hold.
No, that's where you drink from not where you hold it.
You drink it from here.
Just break here Hah? You snip off this part and suck on it! That's what makes it a Chuubert! It's a Chuubert cause you suck on it till there's only flavorless ice left.
Besides, if you eat it by breaking here, the other side will melt! Chuuberts are usually broken in half and split.
I used to have big arguments with my sister about who would get which half.
Break it in half every time? Then what are all the only children in the country supposed to do? They can just get their hands all sticky.
Yeah, you just provoked every single only child in the country! You definitely did, yeah.
That's fine.
I won't budge on this, even if it means making enemies around the world.
That is where you're supposed to hold it.
People don't always freeze them before they eat them, you know.
You have to consider when people just drink them as a cold liquid.
If you break here, that'll make a huge mess.
Do you have a fever or something? Chuuberts are supposed to be frozen.
Wake up, Sogo.
This protruding edge is supposed to be cut.
I don't care what anyone says.
That's where you hold it.
Or it wouldn't look like a nipple.
Hey, what did you just say? Huh? Nipple? You mean? What are nipples meant for? Ah.
Yes, that's right! So we have to change the title for this episode! ["When breaking a Chuubert in half, the end with the knob should be better.
Normally, the knob part is used to drink the Chuubert.
".]
That's right! Nipples are supposed to be sucked! Got it? Then can I have the longer upper part? The part with the nipple? Let's use rock-paper-scissors to decide.
Say He mentioned something about another item.
We've got a coping saw here.
Are we supposed to cut through the chain with this? He was the one who said the chain wouldn't be easily cut through.
Can't cut through this It's no use.
A futile effort.
Besides, considering how much stamina we have left The chain's no good, the pipe's no good The only other thing to cut is Sogo?! Get a grip! Hey! I'm sorry, Hijikata-san.
Looks like I can't go on anymore.
Get a hold of yourself! I'll give you a drink of this Chuubert! Come on! Get a grip! It's pretty much melted already.
What's wrong, Sogo?! Hurry up and drink! I can't drink it.
You want to drink the big side, don't you? You Hijikata-san, that's how you always are You compete with me and act tough like you want to kill me, but deep down inside, you aren't bad enough.
When you see your opponent on the verge of death, you don't hesitate to offer the longer side of the Chuubert.
If I were in your shoes, I'd drink both sides myself.
If you aren't capable of that, you'll never beat me, Hijikata-san.
Hijikata-san I always couldn't stand that side of you.
The guy who did things I couldn't understand.
The guy who wouldn't do what I wanted.
I've pestered you this whole time to drag you down.
But looking back now, I don't think I actually hated you.
I was probably just jealous jealous of the guy who could easily do the things I couldn't.
of the guy who possessed what I didn't.
Hijikata-san Sorry about causing you so much trouble Wh-What are you saying, Sogo? When When did you start talking like that to me? This isn't like you.
You're not cut out for this stuff.
I feel the same way.
But I have to tell you now It feels like I won't get another chance.
S-Stupid! Don't get all weak on me! Don't act so pathetic just because you've missed a few meals! Get a grip! You're not going to die from this! If you're hungry, I'll let you drink as much of this Chuubert as you want! Come on! Have my share, too! Hijikata-san.
Don't you understand? At least for this one last time, I don't want to get in your way I don't need this anymore.
What I need is over there.
You've probably realized what the coping saw is for.
It's not for cutting the chain or the pipe.
It's to cut off one of our heads.
Even if we can't remove the shackles, if we cut off one person's head, we can slide the chain off the pipe.
He's intent on making us kill one another.
Shut up.
Just drink the Chuubert.
Hijikata-san Under normal circumstances, I would have jumped and beheaded you right off the bat.
But unfortunately, I don't have enough strength left to do that Even if I did, I still wouldn't be able to make it to the station I told you to shut up.
Hurry up and drink this.
Hijikata-san, we're out of time.
It's the only way out of this place.
Shut up Hijikata-san It hurts me to say this, but you're the only one left who can save the Shinsengumi.
Didn't you hear me tell you to shut up?! This is an order from the Vice-Chief.
I won't let that happen.
I won't let you die for that stupid bastard.
I won't let you or anyone at the station die! You're going to leave this place with me alive! Don't give up.
There has to be a way.
A way for both of us to escape this place.
Hold on.
There might be something else we can use.
I'll find a way out of here without fail! Hijikata-san It ended up being like Jigzaw said.
I had to remove my mask at the very end.
I showed you a side of myself I never wanted you to see.
Please forget everything I just said.
Hijikata-san Please take care of the Shinsengumi I am amazed, Hijikata-kun, Okita-kun.
I didn't expect your bond to be so strong.
The purpose of the game was to convince fellow comrades to kill one another for the sake of saving the rest of your comrades, but I didn't expect him to choose his own death to save you.
Your bond is truly strong.
Or perhaps I should say his bond for you was strong.
Aren't you relieved inside, Hijikata-kun? Thinking, "Now I'm saved.
" He didn't only save your life.
By killing himself, he prevented you from getting your hands dirty.
He must have known that you are a coward.
He died so a coward like you would be able to take his head.
You are obligated to carry through with this.
Now, cut off your friend's head.
Put on the mask of deceit and live for your friend's sake.
What are you doing, Hijikata-kun? That should be obvious.
I'm heading off to sever a head.
His head is on your shoulder.
This isn't the head I'm after.
The one I want to cut off is the one wearing that filthy mask! It's futile, Hijikata-kun.
You can't escape from that place on your own.
You should know that after being chained What?! I-Impossible! There's a crack in the pipe! Are you saying that the pipe couldn't bear the extensive beating which was believed to be futile?! I-I-Impossible! He escaped on his own power! He still has a slight pulse.
I won't let you die I'm not going to let anyone die! Sogo, I'm going to save C-Crap! A-At this rate At this rate, the chain will bring Sogo down, too.
I have to I have to do something about the chain! Hijikata-san, good work.
It was fun.
Come play with me again? Man, I'm all sticky cause of the Chuubert.
I feel sick.
Ah, the blood was from the Chuubert.
Yeah, good work.
You did a great job.
What are you talking about? You put on a convincing act yourself.
You were even acting when you talked to yourself.
Like you didn't know me at all.
Yeah, you have to totally become the part for these things.
Have to deceive even the audience.
I see.
I thought you just weren't planning ahead.
I'm impressed! Then, when you decide on the next target, let me know.
For sure, okay? Yeah, next time.
I was considering this guy with curly silver hair.
He should provide plenty of fun.
Well, I can't wait.
Good work then! The next episode "If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them.
" [The proprietor of Odd Jobs was talking to himself as usual when.]
[a mysterious man appeared, wielding an incredible power!!.]
[See you next time!.]
In order to escape, they must obtain a single key provided by Jigzaw.
But only one person can use the key to unlock his chains and escape the room.
When one's shackle is released, the other's will explode.
And if one of them doesn't escape soon, the Shinsengumi station will be blown to pieces by Jigzaw's bomb.
Kill one comrade to save the others.
That would be the game of death Jigzaw has given the Shinsengumi to test their strong bond.
And as for the new assassin Jigzaw has unleashed? What will happen to the Shinsengumi? Why are you doing the summary?! What will happen, my ass! You're the one who set this whole thing up! Why are you talking like you have nothing to do with this?! The hell is wrong with your head?! I'm being considerate for the audience who missed the previous episode.
We want to help them understand what's going on.
How come you're nice to the audience?! Th-That's Wh-What I would like to introduce [Note: Kickzaw is a play on Kikuzo, the name of popular comic storyteller, Kikuzo Hayashiya.]
my beloved dog, Kickzaw.
Isn't he adorable? He has an odd habit.
He always tends to pick up shiny objects when we go for a walk.
Well, let's see what he picked up today.
N-N-N-N-Not good! This is bad! Very bad! He's definitely going to take it! This isn't the time to whine about details! Getting backstabbed is no longer the problem! If he takes it, it's over! No more escape or preventing the station from blowing up! Huh? Hijikata-san, you're sweating really hard.
Are you scared about the key being taken? Huh? What? No way.
Not at all.
What are you talking about? I said we didn't need it.
It's totally unnecessary.
That's right.
We don't need that traitor's tool.
Don't need it.
We'll break out of here with our own power.
Hijikata! Move one step.
I'll instantly purge you as a traitor! Sogo! Do you understand the situation we're in?! Hurry up! Hurry up and betray me, Hijikata! Please, I'll give you 300 yen.
Go, Sogo! Don't be so stubborn! Please betray me already! K-Kickzaw! Wait! Sit! Stay! Shake hands! Stay! Stay! Stay! Can't you hear what I'm saying?! Want me to kill you, stupid dog?! He stopped.
What a relief K-Kickzaw! Safe D-Damn it! Hijikata! You've finally showed your true colors! Sogo Okita, Captain of the 1st Division, shall purge you as a traitor! I-It'd be dangerous if the dog swallowed it.
Okay, now it's safe.
Wh-What are you doing?! ["When breaking a Chuubert in half, the end with the knob should be better.
It's also tasty to drink from there.
".]
W-Water Somebody give me water I-It's useless My body won't listen to me Hijikata-san, this is it.
We've spent two days beating on this pipe without any sleep.
It's been three days since we've had anything to eat Yet we haven't even found a single clue to aid our escape.
Stand up, Sogo The fate of the Shinsengumi rests on our shoulders Less than 24 hours left before the station will be blown up We have to hurry Hurry up and escape Good day, Hijikata-kun, Okita-kun.
Hey! Your mask is half off.
You have less than a day left till the station explodes.
He's eating a Chuubert! [Note: Spoof of Japanese ice candy, Tupet.
.]
It's like he's tired of pretending to be a mysterious character! Oh? It appears that you two will collapse before the station does.
Are you hungry? Do you want some water? I'm pissed! He's pissing me off! Fools.
I gave you a chance to escape and save the station, yet you threw it away However, I have seen many people spout noble ideology under a thin mask, but you are the first ones with such a thick mask.
However, in the end, you still won't have been able to escape.
It may appear that you are acting in the best interests of your comrades, but in reality, you merely don't want to dirty your hands and will cause many of them to die.
I wouldn't mind seeing you all perish together, but that wouldn't make for a fun game.
I shall give you one last chance.
Okay? If you lose this chance, there won't be any way to save you or the Shinsengumi.
There are lockers on each side of you.
Check the locker furthest in.
I've placed another key item there for helping you escape.
Now go.
The time has come to shed those fake masks.
Show me your true selves! The ugliness hidden behind those masks! Hiro-kun, I bought your Famitsu! [Note: Famitsu is a popular video game magazine in Japan.
.]
Hey, your mom's back again, Hiro-kun.
What? My mom? What are you talking about? I am Jigzaw, born from nothingness.
I have no mother.
Hiro-kun, why is your door locked? Hey, be quiet! The neighbors are so loud.
No, you don't need to bother hiding it.
It's your mom, right? We already saw her face so let us say hi.
I said she's not my mom! Don't mess with me, damn it! Honey, move out of the way! Hiroshi! I need to talk to you.
It seems that you were absent from school again today.
Your dad?! Now your dad showed up! Stupid hag! Don't go spilling everything! And don't Hey! There's nothing mysterious about that guy! He reads Famitsu! He only acts strong when he's talking to his mom! He's the one who's letting his mask fall off! Man, he's just some withdrawn brat Hijikata-san, look at this.
A fridge? Is this some kind of trap? Let's open it up.
Hey, wait! That guy's gotta be plotting something In that case, do you intend to just stand around doing nothing? I'm opening it.
This is! What? A Chuubert.
Grape-flavored.
How is that supposed to help?! He probably didn't want us to starve to death before the game ended.
Then give us something more substantial! So, can I have the longer lower part? Lower? Lower is longer? What are you talking about? Lower, as in you know, the side you hold.
No, that's where you drink from not where you hold it.
You drink it from here.
Just break here Hah? You snip off this part and suck on it! That's what makes it a Chuubert! It's a Chuubert cause you suck on it till there's only flavorless ice left.
Besides, if you eat it by breaking here, the other side will melt! Chuuberts are usually broken in half and split.
I used to have big arguments with my sister about who would get which half.
Break it in half every time? Then what are all the only children in the country supposed to do? They can just get their hands all sticky.
Yeah, you just provoked every single only child in the country! You definitely did, yeah.
That's fine.
I won't budge on this, even if it means making enemies around the world.
That is where you're supposed to hold it.
People don't always freeze them before they eat them, you know.
You have to consider when people just drink them as a cold liquid.
If you break here, that'll make a huge mess.
Do you have a fever or something? Chuuberts are supposed to be frozen.
Wake up, Sogo.
This protruding edge is supposed to be cut.
I don't care what anyone says.
That's where you hold it.
Or it wouldn't look like a nipple.
Hey, what did you just say? Huh? Nipple? You mean? What are nipples meant for? Ah.
Yes, that's right! So we have to change the title for this episode! ["When breaking a Chuubert in half, the end with the knob should be better.
Normally, the knob part is used to drink the Chuubert.
".]
That's right! Nipples are supposed to be sucked! Got it? Then can I have the longer upper part? The part with the nipple? Let's use rock-paper-scissors to decide.
Say He mentioned something about another item.
We've got a coping saw here.
Are we supposed to cut through the chain with this? He was the one who said the chain wouldn't be easily cut through.
Can't cut through this It's no use.
A futile effort.
Besides, considering how much stamina we have left The chain's no good, the pipe's no good The only other thing to cut is Sogo?! Get a grip! Hey! I'm sorry, Hijikata-san.
Looks like I can't go on anymore.
Get a hold of yourself! I'll give you a drink of this Chuubert! Come on! Get a grip! It's pretty much melted already.
What's wrong, Sogo?! Hurry up and drink! I can't drink it.
You want to drink the big side, don't you? You Hijikata-san, that's how you always are You compete with me and act tough like you want to kill me, but deep down inside, you aren't bad enough.
When you see your opponent on the verge of death, you don't hesitate to offer the longer side of the Chuubert.
If I were in your shoes, I'd drink both sides myself.
If you aren't capable of that, you'll never beat me, Hijikata-san.
Hijikata-san I always couldn't stand that side of you.
The guy who did things I couldn't understand.
The guy who wouldn't do what I wanted.
I've pestered you this whole time to drag you down.
But looking back now, I don't think I actually hated you.
I was probably just jealous jealous of the guy who could easily do the things I couldn't.
of the guy who possessed what I didn't.
Hijikata-san Sorry about causing you so much trouble Wh-What are you saying, Sogo? When When did you start talking like that to me? This isn't like you.
You're not cut out for this stuff.
I feel the same way.
But I have to tell you now It feels like I won't get another chance.
S-Stupid! Don't get all weak on me! Don't act so pathetic just because you've missed a few meals! Get a grip! You're not going to die from this! If you're hungry, I'll let you drink as much of this Chuubert as you want! Come on! Have my share, too! Hijikata-san.
Don't you understand? At least for this one last time, I don't want to get in your way I don't need this anymore.
What I need is over there.
You've probably realized what the coping saw is for.
It's not for cutting the chain or the pipe.
It's to cut off one of our heads.
Even if we can't remove the shackles, if we cut off one person's head, we can slide the chain off the pipe.
He's intent on making us kill one another.
Shut up.
Just drink the Chuubert.
Hijikata-san Under normal circumstances, I would have jumped and beheaded you right off the bat.
But unfortunately, I don't have enough strength left to do that Even if I did, I still wouldn't be able to make it to the station I told you to shut up.
Hurry up and drink this.
Hijikata-san, we're out of time.
It's the only way out of this place.
Shut up Hijikata-san It hurts me to say this, but you're the only one left who can save the Shinsengumi.
Didn't you hear me tell you to shut up?! This is an order from the Vice-Chief.
I won't let that happen.
I won't let you die for that stupid bastard.
I won't let you or anyone at the station die! You're going to leave this place with me alive! Don't give up.
There has to be a way.
A way for both of us to escape this place.
Hold on.
There might be something else we can use.
I'll find a way out of here without fail! Hijikata-san It ended up being like Jigzaw said.
I had to remove my mask at the very end.
I showed you a side of myself I never wanted you to see.
Please forget everything I just said.
Hijikata-san Please take care of the Shinsengumi I am amazed, Hijikata-kun, Okita-kun.
I didn't expect your bond to be so strong.
The purpose of the game was to convince fellow comrades to kill one another for the sake of saving the rest of your comrades, but I didn't expect him to choose his own death to save you.
Your bond is truly strong.
Or perhaps I should say his bond for you was strong.
Aren't you relieved inside, Hijikata-kun? Thinking, "Now I'm saved.
" He didn't only save your life.
By killing himself, he prevented you from getting your hands dirty.
He must have known that you are a coward.
He died so a coward like you would be able to take his head.
You are obligated to carry through with this.
Now, cut off your friend's head.
Put on the mask of deceit and live for your friend's sake.
What are you doing, Hijikata-kun? That should be obvious.
I'm heading off to sever a head.
His head is on your shoulder.
This isn't the head I'm after.
The one I want to cut off is the one wearing that filthy mask! It's futile, Hijikata-kun.
You can't escape from that place on your own.
You should know that after being chained What?! I-Impossible! There's a crack in the pipe! Are you saying that the pipe couldn't bear the extensive beating which was believed to be futile?! I-I-Impossible! He escaped on his own power! He still has a slight pulse.
I won't let you die I'm not going to let anyone die! Sogo, I'm going to save C-Crap! A-At this rate At this rate, the chain will bring Sogo down, too.
I have to I have to do something about the chain! Hijikata-san, good work.
It was fun.
Come play with me again? Man, I'm all sticky cause of the Chuubert.
I feel sick.
Ah, the blood was from the Chuubert.
Yeah, good work.
You did a great job.
What are you talking about? You put on a convincing act yourself.
You were even acting when you talked to yourself.
Like you didn't know me at all.
Yeah, you have to totally become the part for these things.
Have to deceive even the audience.
I see.
I thought you just weren't planning ahead.
I'm impressed! Then, when you decide on the next target, let me know.
For sure, okay? Yeah, next time.
I was considering this guy with curly silver hair.
He should provide plenty of fun.
Well, I can't wait.
Good work then! The next episode "If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them.
" [The proprietor of Odd Jobs was talking to himself as usual when.]
[a mysterious man appeared, wielding an incredible power!!.]
[See you next time!.]