Gintama (2005) s03e51 Episode Script
If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them
Good evening.
I'm Gintoki Sakata.
I'm Shinpachi Shimura.
I'm Kagura.
Well, I realize we just announced that the Gin Tama anime has been extended for a fourth year on this program last month I'm sure some of you are already aware that the company producing this anime, Sunrise Inc.
, has suffered from the global economic crisis caused by last year's subprime lending problems in America, and just a few days ago As a result, the company has decided that it is no longer feasible to produce this show.
And so, today will be the abrupt final episode of the Gin Tama anime.
[Gin Tama - Finale.]
Uh, as mentioned at the beginning of the show, there has been a change in today's programming, and we will be showing an emergency special program entitled "Looking Back at the Gin Tama Anime.
" We deeply apologize for changing the program from the original listing in the TV guide.
Now that we suddenly find ourselves on the final episode How do you feel, Kagura-san? When you look back at three years of the Gin Tama anime? I feel pretty empty right now.
Everything seems so stupid.
Just last month, we were all excited about a having fourth year and how to buy time.
And after all that talk about not having budget, and not caring about sales, look at us now.
Like a bunch of idiots.
I never expected it to end this way Kagura-san You're right.
We got carried away because of decent DVD sales.
When the decision was made to announce that we would be entering the final stage of the show, there was a flood of phone calls and letters.
It was a circus at TV Tokyo and Sunrise.
The people in charge were like, "Man, it was hard to cope with that," and smiled, but their eyes weren't smiling.
Well, it's too late to do anything.
I never expected Sunrise to end up like this.
Nobody could have predicted this.
We managed to survive low ratings, a new time slot, complaints, and many other factors which threatened the end, but this is how it goes when it's finally over.
That's right.
[Note: Space Battleship Yamato and Mobile Suit Gundam.]
Famous series like "Space Ba*******" and "Mobile S***" were also cut short.
Yes.
And now we join those great works.
Let's be positive.
So here's the final episode.
We can't change what's already been settled.
There's no point in whining about it.
We will now show the original final episode that would have been shown at the end of the fourth year.
Please enjoy yourself.
And now we present the final episode of the Gin Tama anime.
["All's Well That Ends Well.
".]
Yo, Gintoki Our long relationship ends here.
Takasugi, you bastard Allow me to end the long nightmare you've been having.
Didn't I tell you, Gintoki? I simply destroy.
Everything! Gin-san! Afterwards, all kinds of things happened and everything was finally settled.
No matter what anyone else might say, things were settled.
And today is the day Shinpachi is leaving on his journey.
Shinpachi! Kagura-chan.
Oh, she's finally here.
You're late, Kagura-chan.
Sorry about that.
I had to go buy this.
What is this? Pickled seaweed.
They won't sell this where you're going.
Pickled seaweed Thanks, Kagura-chan! Huh? Where's Gin-chan? He's nowhere to be found.
Who knows what he's doing? It's almost departure time.
That stupid Odd Jobs man picked a great day to go missing It's fine.
Gin-san already told me everything he has to say.
Yes, not using words But with his broad shoulders.
Gin-san I understood every single word you were trying to say.
Which is why I'll be able to move forward on my own.
Gin-san, I'm going now.
With the spirit of a samurai in my heart Gin-chan never showed up.
No, that's not true.
Honestly, he never changes that guy Gin-san! G-Gin-san Shinpachi! These are the last words I have for you! Shinpachi You're a XXX.
Okay? Gin-san I have no idea what you said.
[Fin.]
Hey, wait! What is this?! What is this mess?! Who's going to accept a final episode like this?! Feels like they just glossed over the important stuff and dragged out the pointless stuff.
It can't be helped! The original work's still running, so the anime can't make stuff up.
Grown-ups have their own circumstances to deal with.
Everybody, this is what you're going to get from the final episode of a show based on something that's still running! Don't be so blunt about it! Hey! The final episode felt pretty good until we hit the commercial break, so do a proper job of it! Seriously.
Shinpachi had so much screen time it was pissing me off.
Wait, there wasn't anything wrong with that.
Fine, I get it.
We just have to redo it, right? Then we'll start over from the top.
Take it away, big guy.
And now we present the final episode of the Gin Tama anime One more time Here we are.
["All's Well That Ends Well" - Alt.]
Didn't I tell you, Gintoki? I simply destroy.
Over and over again! Takasugi, you bastard! Gin-san! Why did this happen? Gin-san.
Kagura-chan! Gin-san Kagura-chan.
Katsura-san, Elizabeth! Okita-san! Hijikata-san! Kondo-san! Hasegawa-san! It can't be It can't be Why? Why did this happen? This wasn't the end I wanted.
I just wanted to follow in my father's footsteps and restart his dojo.
I just wanted to become a strong samurai.
But you're the one who chose to follow Gin-san, Shin-chan.
To be a samurai, one must seek death.
You're regretting it now because you weren't ready to die.
You should just give up on that half-assed dream.
Nothing to say, so pass.
Shinpachi-kun.
As long as you're Otae-san's little brother, you're a strong samurai in my eyes.
A DORK like me has managed to survive this long.
Things will work out.
Don't worry.
After all these years, the audience has already forgotten about the dojo thing and everything else that was part of your original background.
Is it really okay? If I forget my original purpose, won't I just be a straight man with glasses? You idiot! You're popular enough.
[Note: First part is a famous scene from Neon Genesis Evangelion and the second part is the Japanese title for Diff'rent Strokes.]
You really shined when you were cheering me on.
Your character stood out! I see.
It's okay I don't have to be a samurai.
I have Otsu-chan! Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Congrazz.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Grats.
Thank you! [Thank you, Otsu.]
[Goodbye, Gintoki.]
[And to all the Shinpachis (Lame Four-eyes).]
[Congratulapoop.
(Note: Otsu phrase = Congratulations + Corn Poop).]
That was a blatant rip-off! Huh? Of what? Don't you "of what", me! This is, you know Obviously a straight copy of E**! [Note: Last episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion TV series.]
Really? Really, my ass! If we end it like this, you can say that the real last episode will be in the form of a movie, and we'll have another business opportunity.
How desperate are you?! Do you have no shame or respect?! Gin-chan, Shinpachi still had so much screen time it was pissing me off.
Well, that can't be helped And so, this would be a better final episode.
Start.
["All's Well that Ends Well" - Alt Ver.
2.]
Gin-san! [~A Few Months Later~.]
Here's your order.
How are you feeling? I still haven't fully recovered from the injuries from that battle.
It'll be a while before I'm back to top form.
I see.
But I'm relieved.
Elizabeth was able to survive by becoming a cyborg.
Before we knew it, it's already been quite a while.
I wonder what that guy's doing now.
Don't mention him, Sogo.
Knowing him, he probably hasn't changed.
His dream was to fly around the world.
He can do it.
Come on.
Here I go, Shinpachi [Death.]
That's creepy! It's supposed to say Fin or End! What the hell is death supposed to mean?! And what was with that final episode?! You just wanted to kill me, didn't you?! How did you know? It's damn obvious when you look at the lame story! I refuse to accept that as the final episode! Then the real final episode will be this one! [The Real - "All's Well That Ends Well.
" - Alt Ver.
2.]
Like I said I destroy over and over again This is bad! At this rate, everyone will! We have to We have to do something! Pachie! What do I do? I can save everyone if I use that power But I Do you understand, Pachina? If any humans find out that you're a witch, you will never be allowed to return to the human world.
But But! I'm the only one who can save everyone! Magical Yun Yun Pachina! I'll use my Lame Four-eyes Power to make the world a peaceful place! What the hell is this?! Takasugi? What's with that getup? I'm sorry.
I can no longer be with everyone.
No, that's not what I Even if we live in different worlds, we'll always be friends! Hey! Listen to me! Goodbye! Buh-bye.
[Bye-bye.]
Hey! If you're the funny man, this'll never end! For real! Now you're just a lame four-eyes who's lost his identity as a straight man! Who cares?! Isn't this the final episode?! So what if I play dumb?! Uh, excuse me.
Uh, can I have a moment? Hey! You, stop ignoring me! Wh-What?! I've been standing here listening to y'all for a while now Today's the final episode of the Gin Tama anime? Who gave you permission to say that? You're That face is The famous Thing from JUMP! I'll ask you one more time.
Who gave you permission to make this the final episode? Well It can't be helped.
After what happened to Sunrise Don't lie to me! I know the truth.
You're running out of original material to work with, so you're going to force the broadcast to end while the manga goes on.
That's the plan, right? This guy coughed up the whole story.
Elizabeth! I mean, the supervisor! Sorry, they found out.
Now look here.
This fake final episode that came out of your scheme to end the show is not something grown adults should be broadcasting over the air! But isn't it okay now? We've worked hard for three years.
We've still got the Mito Komon plan where we're off half the year.
With the current budget, the fourth year will be hard to pull off, you know? That's right.
Why don't we start rebroadcasting popular episodes next week? If you change the opening and ending, nobody will notice! That sounds good.
And we'll be able to stock up on budget and original material! Ouch.
Well? Are you going to do the fourth year next week? Or not? Shinpachi! Yes! Kagura! Oh, yeah! Let's go! Our journey has only begun! Wait, now this actually feels like the final episode.
[To be continued a little longer.]
["If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them.
" - Fin.]
[Thanks for all your support over these three years.
.]
[We look forward to entertaining you for another year.
.]
[-From the Entire Staff.
.]
[Preview.]
And so, the final stage of the fourth season will begin next week! Give up already! Nobody believes you anymore! And it's the final stage before it's even started?! The next episode "A conversation with a barber during a haircut is the most pointless thing in the world.
" [Gin-san decides to let a barber shop cut his hair for some reason.]
[And that's how we kick off the fourth season of the Gin Tama anime!! Who ever thought we'd make it this far?!.]
[See you next time!.]
I'm Gintoki Sakata.
I'm Shinpachi Shimura.
I'm Kagura.
Well, I realize we just announced that the Gin Tama anime has been extended for a fourth year on this program last month I'm sure some of you are already aware that the company producing this anime, Sunrise Inc.
, has suffered from the global economic crisis caused by last year's subprime lending problems in America, and just a few days ago As a result, the company has decided that it is no longer feasible to produce this show.
And so, today will be the abrupt final episode of the Gin Tama anime.
[Gin Tama - Finale.]
Uh, as mentioned at the beginning of the show, there has been a change in today's programming, and we will be showing an emergency special program entitled "Looking Back at the Gin Tama Anime.
" We deeply apologize for changing the program from the original listing in the TV guide.
Now that we suddenly find ourselves on the final episode How do you feel, Kagura-san? When you look back at three years of the Gin Tama anime? I feel pretty empty right now.
Everything seems so stupid.
Just last month, we were all excited about a having fourth year and how to buy time.
And after all that talk about not having budget, and not caring about sales, look at us now.
Like a bunch of idiots.
I never expected it to end this way Kagura-san You're right.
We got carried away because of decent DVD sales.
When the decision was made to announce that we would be entering the final stage of the show, there was a flood of phone calls and letters.
It was a circus at TV Tokyo and Sunrise.
The people in charge were like, "Man, it was hard to cope with that," and smiled, but their eyes weren't smiling.
Well, it's too late to do anything.
I never expected Sunrise to end up like this.
Nobody could have predicted this.
We managed to survive low ratings, a new time slot, complaints, and many other factors which threatened the end, but this is how it goes when it's finally over.
That's right.
[Note: Space Battleship Yamato and Mobile Suit Gundam.]
Famous series like "Space Ba*******" and "Mobile S***" were also cut short.
Yes.
And now we join those great works.
Let's be positive.
So here's the final episode.
We can't change what's already been settled.
There's no point in whining about it.
We will now show the original final episode that would have been shown at the end of the fourth year.
Please enjoy yourself.
And now we present the final episode of the Gin Tama anime.
["All's Well That Ends Well.
".]
Yo, Gintoki Our long relationship ends here.
Takasugi, you bastard Allow me to end the long nightmare you've been having.
Didn't I tell you, Gintoki? I simply destroy.
Everything! Gin-san! Afterwards, all kinds of things happened and everything was finally settled.
No matter what anyone else might say, things were settled.
And today is the day Shinpachi is leaving on his journey.
Shinpachi! Kagura-chan.
Oh, she's finally here.
You're late, Kagura-chan.
Sorry about that.
I had to go buy this.
What is this? Pickled seaweed.
They won't sell this where you're going.
Pickled seaweed Thanks, Kagura-chan! Huh? Where's Gin-chan? He's nowhere to be found.
Who knows what he's doing? It's almost departure time.
That stupid Odd Jobs man picked a great day to go missing It's fine.
Gin-san already told me everything he has to say.
Yes, not using words But with his broad shoulders.
Gin-san I understood every single word you were trying to say.
Which is why I'll be able to move forward on my own.
Gin-san, I'm going now.
With the spirit of a samurai in my heart Gin-chan never showed up.
No, that's not true.
Honestly, he never changes that guy Gin-san! G-Gin-san Shinpachi! These are the last words I have for you! Shinpachi You're a XXX.
Okay? Gin-san I have no idea what you said.
[Fin.]
Hey, wait! What is this?! What is this mess?! Who's going to accept a final episode like this?! Feels like they just glossed over the important stuff and dragged out the pointless stuff.
It can't be helped! The original work's still running, so the anime can't make stuff up.
Grown-ups have their own circumstances to deal with.
Everybody, this is what you're going to get from the final episode of a show based on something that's still running! Don't be so blunt about it! Hey! The final episode felt pretty good until we hit the commercial break, so do a proper job of it! Seriously.
Shinpachi had so much screen time it was pissing me off.
Wait, there wasn't anything wrong with that.
Fine, I get it.
We just have to redo it, right? Then we'll start over from the top.
Take it away, big guy.
And now we present the final episode of the Gin Tama anime One more time Here we are.
["All's Well That Ends Well" - Alt.]
Didn't I tell you, Gintoki? I simply destroy.
Over and over again! Takasugi, you bastard! Gin-san! Why did this happen? Gin-san.
Kagura-chan! Gin-san Kagura-chan.
Katsura-san, Elizabeth! Okita-san! Hijikata-san! Kondo-san! Hasegawa-san! It can't be It can't be Why? Why did this happen? This wasn't the end I wanted.
I just wanted to follow in my father's footsteps and restart his dojo.
I just wanted to become a strong samurai.
But you're the one who chose to follow Gin-san, Shin-chan.
To be a samurai, one must seek death.
You're regretting it now because you weren't ready to die.
You should just give up on that half-assed dream.
Nothing to say, so pass.
Shinpachi-kun.
As long as you're Otae-san's little brother, you're a strong samurai in my eyes.
A DORK like me has managed to survive this long.
Things will work out.
Don't worry.
After all these years, the audience has already forgotten about the dojo thing and everything else that was part of your original background.
Is it really okay? If I forget my original purpose, won't I just be a straight man with glasses? You idiot! You're popular enough.
[Note: First part is a famous scene from Neon Genesis Evangelion and the second part is the Japanese title for Diff'rent Strokes.]
You really shined when you were cheering me on.
Your character stood out! I see.
It's okay I don't have to be a samurai.
I have Otsu-chan! Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Congrazz.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Grats.
Thank you! [Thank you, Otsu.]
[Goodbye, Gintoki.]
[And to all the Shinpachis (Lame Four-eyes).]
[Congratulapoop.
(Note: Otsu phrase = Congratulations + Corn Poop).]
That was a blatant rip-off! Huh? Of what? Don't you "of what", me! This is, you know Obviously a straight copy of E**! [Note: Last episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion TV series.]
Really? Really, my ass! If we end it like this, you can say that the real last episode will be in the form of a movie, and we'll have another business opportunity.
How desperate are you?! Do you have no shame or respect?! Gin-chan, Shinpachi still had so much screen time it was pissing me off.
Well, that can't be helped And so, this would be a better final episode.
Start.
["All's Well that Ends Well" - Alt Ver.
2.]
Gin-san! [~A Few Months Later~.]
Here's your order.
How are you feeling? I still haven't fully recovered from the injuries from that battle.
It'll be a while before I'm back to top form.
I see.
But I'm relieved.
Elizabeth was able to survive by becoming a cyborg.
Before we knew it, it's already been quite a while.
I wonder what that guy's doing now.
Don't mention him, Sogo.
Knowing him, he probably hasn't changed.
His dream was to fly around the world.
He can do it.
Come on.
Here I go, Shinpachi [Death.]
That's creepy! It's supposed to say Fin or End! What the hell is death supposed to mean?! And what was with that final episode?! You just wanted to kill me, didn't you?! How did you know? It's damn obvious when you look at the lame story! I refuse to accept that as the final episode! Then the real final episode will be this one! [The Real - "All's Well That Ends Well.
" - Alt Ver.
2.]
Like I said I destroy over and over again This is bad! At this rate, everyone will! We have to We have to do something! Pachie! What do I do? I can save everyone if I use that power But I Do you understand, Pachina? If any humans find out that you're a witch, you will never be allowed to return to the human world.
But But! I'm the only one who can save everyone! Magical Yun Yun Pachina! I'll use my Lame Four-eyes Power to make the world a peaceful place! What the hell is this?! Takasugi? What's with that getup? I'm sorry.
I can no longer be with everyone.
No, that's not what I Even if we live in different worlds, we'll always be friends! Hey! Listen to me! Goodbye! Buh-bye.
[Bye-bye.]
Hey! If you're the funny man, this'll never end! For real! Now you're just a lame four-eyes who's lost his identity as a straight man! Who cares?! Isn't this the final episode?! So what if I play dumb?! Uh, excuse me.
Uh, can I have a moment? Hey! You, stop ignoring me! Wh-What?! I've been standing here listening to y'all for a while now Today's the final episode of the Gin Tama anime? Who gave you permission to say that? You're That face is The famous Thing from JUMP! I'll ask you one more time.
Who gave you permission to make this the final episode? Well It can't be helped.
After what happened to Sunrise Don't lie to me! I know the truth.
You're running out of original material to work with, so you're going to force the broadcast to end while the manga goes on.
That's the plan, right? This guy coughed up the whole story.
Elizabeth! I mean, the supervisor! Sorry, they found out.
Now look here.
This fake final episode that came out of your scheme to end the show is not something grown adults should be broadcasting over the air! But isn't it okay now? We've worked hard for three years.
We've still got the Mito Komon plan where we're off half the year.
With the current budget, the fourth year will be hard to pull off, you know? That's right.
Why don't we start rebroadcasting popular episodes next week? If you change the opening and ending, nobody will notice! That sounds good.
And we'll be able to stock up on budget and original material! Ouch.
Well? Are you going to do the fourth year next week? Or not? Shinpachi! Yes! Kagura! Oh, yeah! Let's go! Our journey has only begun! Wait, now this actually feels like the final episode.
[To be continued a little longer.]
["If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them.
" - Fin.]
[Thanks for all your support over these three years.
.]
[We look forward to entertaining you for another year.
.]
[-From the Entire Staff.
.]
[Preview.]
And so, the final stage of the fourth season will begin next week! Give up already! Nobody believes you anymore! And it's the final stage before it's even started?! The next episode "A conversation with a barber during a haircut is the most pointless thing in the world.
" [Gin-san decides to let a barber shop cut his hair for some reason.]
[And that's how we kick off the fourth season of the Gin Tama anime!! Who ever thought we'd make it this far?!.]
[See you next time!.]