Phineas and Ferb s03e51 Episode Script

Hello, lads! Hi, Dad! What are you boys doing? I was just telling Buford about phone booths.
And I'm not buying it! Oh, no, Buford, they were real.
They were tiny rooms where you could talk on the phone in private.
Yeah, and you'd have to put coins in them to make calls.
You guys are blowing my mind! Speaking of coins what's this here? Speaking of coins what's this here? Behind your ear? It's a quarter! How did you do that? A magician never reveals his secrets.
Your dad's really great at tricks! Not really.
I just keep a bunch of quarters behind my ear 'cause he enjoys it so much.
Wanna see what I got behind my ear? It's another ear! Mind flip! What are you doing, Baljeet? I am Buford's hype man.
Check him out! Mind flip! That's great! You can be a hype man for all of us.
Because I know what we're gonna do today.
We're putting on a magic show! Hey, where's Ferb? Ta-da! I switched my body for a dummy of myself, that Ferb climbed into when you looked away.
Mind flip! I know you.
Didn't I see you flying off my dad's roof? You're gonna have to be more specific, I fly off so many roofs.
Really? Nah, just the one.
Of course I remember you.
You're Vanessa Doofenshmirtz.
And you're Monty Monogram.
That's right.
Should we even be seen in the same room together? I mean, you know, our dads being sworn enemies and all? What can I get for you two? Cappuccino with chocolate powder on top and a ginger scone, please.
and two straws, no doubt.
Okay, putting aside the fact that our fathers are sworn enemies, want to have those cappuccinos together? Sure, sounds cool.
Good morning, Agent P.
I guess we're getting a little bit of a late start.
Our sources say that Doofenshmirtz is on his way to Steam Noir, the hippest coffee house in town.
We need you to get there before he arrives and stop him from doing anything, you know, nefarious.
I've got a "Word a Day" calendar.
Phineas, Ferb, what is this? We're putting on a magic show.
Do you wanna be in it? I'm calling Mom right now.
Yeah, Mom! She can be in it, too.
A cell phone! Perfect! Hey! Watch this trick.
Voila! One cell phone transformed into miscellaneous electronic parts! Mind flip! Okay, really amusing.
Bring it back.
It's not that kind of trick.
Ugh! I can still use the landline.
The landline? That was my first trick! It's so awesome that we ran into each other.
Can you imagine the look on both our dad's faces if they saw us here together? I'm surprised your dad hasn't put some kind of a spy camera on you.
You know, where's your dad's Date-Ruin-inator? So, this is a date? Well, isn't it? Maybe.
Do you usually have coffee with your dad's sworn enemy's daughters? No, just girls whose roofs I've flown off of.
Oh, see, now I feel special.
Yeah, I don't just fly off any roof you know.
Of course not.
I've got standards.
It's got to be a building shaped like a Like a An Easter Island head? Oh, my gosh, exactly.
What is that all about? I have no idea.
Hold that thought, this needs more milk.
Perry? Is that you? Listen, Perry, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't let my dad know that I'm here with the son of his sworn enemy.
This is going pretty well and I wouldn't want him to spoil it.
Can you help me? Thanks, Perry.
Steam Noir! Vanessa says the coolest people in town hang out right here.
My dad thought I wanted to be an acrobat.
I mean it was fun but it wasn't my thing.
My dad was the same way with Ah, waiter.
You mind if I tell you my evil scheme? My– My nemesis didn't show up today and I still have to get it out.
I figured since I'm getting nowhere with the older Tri-State population, maybe I should go for the younger demographic.
So, behold, The Cool-inator! Well, you can't really behold it, it's out in the car.
But trust me, it's behold-worthy.
First, I will suck all the cool out of this place, it being the hippest coffee house in town.
Then, I will blast myself with the cool concentrate, transforming into such an "awesome dude" that you, disaffected youth will have no choice but to follow me blindly and help me, you know, take over the Tri-State Area! Anyway, the Cool-inator is so hip that it only runs on espresso, so let's fill her up.
What'd you say, dude? I need ten gallons of espresso.
We only serve it in this cup, man.
Wow, really? It's espresso, man.
Fine.
Let's see, this is about a quarter cup, and there's two cups in a pint That would make I'll have nine hundred ninety-nine more of these, please.
There are six-hundred and forty quarter cups in ten gallons, man.
This is gonna take a lot of trips.
Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for the Mind Flip! For centuries, shaman conjured magic for their tribes, and countless magicians practice hocus pocus for their audiences.
It is a mind flip! How do we do it? I'll tell you how, if you can keep a secret.
It's.
A.
Trick! It's.
A.
Trick! It's.
A.
Trick! Carl's in college, right? He can program the most sophisticated satellite tracking computer in the world, but every time I try to call my dad he cuts me off.
Can't even work a landline.
You think that's bad? Every time I use the microwave, Norm starts involuntarily rapping.
(Song: Won't Keep Us Apart ) I know that you and I We come from different places There's no telling why or who your heart embraces These feelings that we share There's a reason they're inside us They're both aware of the list of things that won't divide us The sun and the stars and the moon and the planets won't keep us apart A herd of wild wildebeests, a gaggle of flamin' geese won't keep us apart (Won't keep us apart) Duct-taped bungee cords, fiberglass diving boards, won't keep us apart A device designed specifically to keep us apart won't keep us apart Hit me again.
Hey, do you mind if I use your restroom? I mean, technically I haven't had any coffee here, but I've bought coffee here and I thought that would qualify.
I had a lot of coffee earlier this morning.
Huh.
Okay, TMI.
I get it.
So I look up, and there he is in front of the whole school Is this– finally stepping on the other team's feet as he walks.
Well, at least he showed up.
I mean, if I had a nickel for every time I got the "Your father couldn't make it, he's working late.
" call.
But, I guess that's really your dad's fault.
So what exactly do you mean by that? So what exactly do you mean by that? You're out of paper.
Through the power of enchantment, and a few nifty dance moves, Ferb and I have conjured the glittered demons and are ready to pull off Phineas and Ferb, you are so busted! What is this thing? Get me out of here! Finito! All right, heads up hipsters! Get ready to lose your cool! Well, what I meant is that my dad spends all his time dealing with your father's schemes.
I'll have you know, my father is a misunderstood genius.
Genius? I have three words for you.
Self.
Destruct.
Buttons.
Self.
Destruct.
Buttons.
Self.
Destruct.
Buttons.
And yet, in spite of all that, there's my dad, free to do it all over again the next day.
Whoa, really effective bunch of spies there, Major.
At least my dad's spy network isn't funded by monthly alimony checks.
You do know that what he calls a "spy network" is actually just a petting zoo.
With hats! Say goodbye to your street cred, hip-cats! So, I said to him "Step off my guest list, poser.
" You want to hear how my nose whistles? Yeah, man, you know, it's all about my blog, you know.
I blog about blogs that blog about other blogs.
You want to hear a dream I had about my cat? Can I get some more local, organic water? I can't drink any more iced tea, because when I drink iced tea, I get crazy! Finally, daylight.
Phineas and Ferb! That's Mom's car! Mom! Now, to set the inator on "reverse" and blast myself with all of the cool! Phineas and Ferb built a really dangerous magic show in the backyard! You've gotta bust them! Really, Candace? Busting? That's so beginning of summer.
There's a Luciano Rigatoni festival at the Art House.
Let's go.
But Rigatoni's work is passionless! With minimal importance! Every piece betrays its own lack of interest in the subject matter! You know, Perry the Platypus, this is very uncool of you.
A beanie propeller cap? T-Tha– Uh All right, I'll give that to you, th-that's kind of cool.
Are you cyber? Uh, want to do a sketch in my sketchbook? Where'd you get that gnarly lab coat? No! No! No, you're nerds! Get away from me, I'm not like you! I'm– I'm cool! Or, I was going to be cool, when I shot myself with the inator, which is now destroyed– Uh– Curse you, Perry the Platypus! You know, our fathers are probably right.
We shouldn't be talking to each other.
This was a huge mistake.
Fine.
Fine! So, wanna do this again? Call me.
Ladies and gentlemen, in our grand finale, we make everything disappear! Ooh! Phineas? Ferb? Oh, there you are, Perry.
Where is it? What happened? All gone! You two! Here's your phone.
It's totally fine! Okay, this may be an easy enough trick, but how did you make the whole show disappear? A magician never reveals his secrets.
That's a little cliché, Ferb, don't you think? Mind flip!