Phineas and Ferb s03e52 Episode Script
Tri-State Treasure: Boot of Secrets (15 min)
Well, here we are, gang! The semi-annual Tri-State Area Antique Show and Swap Meet.
Here you can find anything under the sun, literally because it's held outdoors.
Anything, Dad? Well, actually there is one thing that you probably won't be able to find here.
An 1807 Dorcham and Wesley Boot Scraper, only one of them was ever made, and it's been lost to the mists of time! Oh, if only I could find that, I'd be the envy of the entire antiquing community, especially Worthington Dubois, my antiquing nemesis! You have an antiquing nemesis? You don't know everything about me.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! (Song: Swap Meet) We got chrome-plated carburetors, calibrated regulators Tube socks, cuckoo clocks, multi-colored alligators Taxidermy jackalope, presidential bar of soap You can find it all at the Swap Meet You can take it away if you can fit it in your ride You gotta lower the seat and then you give it a slide But there's a thing you gotta know when you head to the show If you add to your stash you gotta do it with cash Purple padded toilet seat, dolphin made of concrete Hub caps, mud flaps, food that isn't safe to eat Macramé, dust mop, curtain made of pop tops You can find it all at the Swap Meet You can find it all at the Swap Meet Dad, I know you said the Dorcham and Westley Boot Scraper thing was lost to the mists of time.
I did, didn't I? Well, I suppose I get melodramatic when I start talking about antiques.
Well, Ferb and I found this in that parchment booth.
A Dorcham and Westley Boot Scraper's map! But only three of them were ever made, and they were lost to the mists ofâ Oh, I'm doing it again.
And we know what we're gonna do today.
Hey, where's Perry? A Reno Man, No.
45, that's classic gig, brother.
Good morning, Agent P.
Look, here's the thing.
I don't know what Doof is up to.
I've been busy giving each of my friends personalized ringtones.
I've one for you Perry! and one for Carl.
Carl! I want to send out a ringtone for when I call my friends, but I don't have a theme song.
Anyway, go stop Doofenshmirtz! What an incredible waste of time.
I mean, come on.
Most of this stuff, if you saw it on the sidewalk, you'd walk around it.
Most of this stuff, if you saw it on the sidewalk, you'd walk around it.
A Ducky Momo, first edition, green-pupil variant, with a left-handed pull cord! Heavenly light! Angel chorus! I must have it.
But I gotta play it cool.
So, uh Yeah, a friend needs a paperweight for her, uh, desk, and hmm This little trinket looks about the right size.
Please, little girl, this trinket is a Ducky Momo, first edition, green-pupil variant, with a left-handed pull chord.
There are only two of these in North America.
They're more rare than Dorcham and Westley Boot Scraper's maps, but not quite as rare as the Dorcham and Westley Boot Scraper.
Yeah, mists of time, whatever.
What do you want for it? You couldn't afford it.
Would you take something in trade? The one thing I want is the one thing I can't have.
That! Early twentieth century Abyssinian silver baby rattle.
But he won't sell it to me because of that silly French cabinet! You broke the arms off my armoire! Now its just a -oire! If I get you that baby rattle, will you give me the Ducky Momo? Yes, I will.
You! How much for that baby rattle? Why, so you can sell it to him? Well, uh, yeah.
No sale.
Oh, come on! Everybody wants something.
Okay, there is something I've always wanted.
A Flenco G4-80 crystal radio! if you get me a cane with a cobra on it.
Battle of Danville commemorative dentures.
Pink gorilla suit.
Ducky Momo, first edition figurine, I will have you! Oh, hello, Perry the Platypus.
Well, as they say in the film business It's a wrap! Get it? 'Cause you're wrapped.
In film.
Well, as you know, films sway public opinion better than any other medium.
So, I have produced a movie that will convince the people of the Tri-State Area to make me their leader.
Here's a clip.
Make me your leader.
It can't miss! Anyhoo, I'm going to enter it in the Danville Film Festival today.
There'sâ Th-There's only one small hitch.
It turns out it's Danville's Young Filmmakers Festival.
You have to be less than fifteen years old, but no matter.
Because, behold, my De-Age-inator! With this, I'll turn myself into a fourteen-year-old boy, submit my film to the festival and sit back as the people of Danville are convinced that I must be installed as the leader of the entire Tri-State Area! Cigar box banjo.
An old time diving suit.
A fur lined telephone.
Be right back.
Well, the map has led us to Boot Scrapers Hall.
Oh, the spirit of Danville, see how his sole gleams, the Boot Scapers took their craft seriously.
Hey, look, there's a plaque.
But what are these funny symbols? By Harry, that's Boot Scrape! The secret language of the ancient Boot Scapers.
"To gain the world, and halt the wintle, reverse your mind, and mind the lintel.
" The lintel? It's the space between two columns.
Look! Is that Greek? Well, I know Greek, but I don't recognize some of these symbols.
Wait a minute.
Reverse your mind.
Ferb.
"The disk of fate drops the boot.
" The disk of fate? Oh, it's that coat of arms right there.
The statue! Guys, look! The statue's boot is not resting on that podium.
And the podium has a giant slot in it.
Look! It's a big penny! Ferb, pay the man.
Just like an old iron penny bank.
Stand back, boys! Wow.
Yes, the Boot Scrapers were renowned for their elaborate spiral staircases.
If that Dorcham and Westley Boot Scraper still exists, we'll find it down here.
Not if I, Worthington Dubois, have anything to say about it.
Oh, this seems to be unplugged.
There.
Oops.
Uh-oh, the film melted into oil.
That doesn't make any sense, it's not a Melt-inator.
It's aâ Oh, right.
Film is made from some petroleum product, and it made it younger, so I guess it makes some sort of ridiculous sense.
There is one last setting on the De-Age-inator and ready to fire! Cool, I'm fourteen years old.
I totally beat you, dude.
Now all I got to do is take this DVD to the Film Festival, and then I'll, like, have a lot of power and stuff.
And I'll likeâ No way, dude! You're not the boss of me.
What do you want for the 1965 Northern Llama Rancher's Association commemorative creamer? I don't know, a buck? Commemorative creamer for a clear flugelhorn.
Clear flugelhorn for a baseball stein.
Baseball stein for cyclops santa.
Cool! The inner temple.
Okay, let's get a move on.
Get down, Dad! Cobbler's mallets.
Why did it have to be cobbler's mallets? That was close.
Yes, the Boot Scrapers were master craftâ The Cavern of Secrets.
This entire room was made from materials scraped off the boots of Danville Elders, who were highly creative engineers.
Battleship hat.
Coffee grinder, pogo stick.
Secret letters home! Evil angel suit.
Oh, blimey.
I had no idea there was such a wide variety of historical boot scrapers.
Which one is it, Dad? Well, that's the question, isn't it? Only one of these can be the true Dorcham and Westley.
And no doubt a wrong choice will trigger a nasty booby trap.
Boot scrapers were famously vengeful people.
This could take every ounce of antiquing knowledge that I possess.
You can do it, Dad! At last! A hedgehog, of course.
This truly is the Dorcham and Westley Boot Scraper of legend.
But Worthington, there are no hedgehogs in America! What? Oh, well, that's justâ Wow.
He chose poorly.
Well, seeing as the place is falling apart, anyway.
Pink gorilla suit.
Battle of Danville commemorative dentures.
A cane with a cobra on it.
Dude, chill! It's mine.
I don't have to give it to you.
Hey, quit it! You're pushing me, dude! You actually got it! Let me see if I can find a box.
I-I don't seem to have a box.
Oh, well.
Wait a second, where's the patina? This is obviously brand new! It's not an antique! No trade! WHY?! Dude, you just totally broke my inator.
That's an even closer one.
Not so fast, Fletcher.
When I fell, I landed in the ruins of the Hall of the Sandal Scrapers.
An order of scrapers far more ancient than your miserable Boot Scrapers.
And with this, I'll become the most powerful antiques collector the world has ever seen! Perhaps next time we should buy new.
Prepare toâ Oh, no! My enemies from beyond space! Hey, look, Ferb, it's Garbog.
Hi, Garbog! This is gonna be good.
Team Danville, assemble! How dare you! My future wickedness! And that was the winner of this year's Young Filmmakers Contest.
Let's have a hand for the directors, Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher.
Ah, crud.
Somebody drive me home? Thank you, everyone.
But we couldn't have done this on our own.
We'd like to thank our dad, Lawrence Fletcher, for spending all afternoon making this movie with us.
I had no idea you were so good with special effects.
Oh, yeah, but it was mostly them.
And we'd like to introduce the actor responsible for bringing our villain to life.
Don't you mean actors? Don't you mean actors? 'Cause there's two of us.
Take a bow, guys! Why is there an orchestra pit in a movie theater? Seriously, I need a ride.
La la la la la la la (Song: Major Monogram Theme Song) He's Major Monogram! He appears on a screen And he wears olive green! He's Major Monogram! I like the big finish, sir.
I can do without the sarcasm, Carl.
Here you can find anything under the sun, literally because it's held outdoors.
Anything, Dad? Well, actually there is one thing that you probably won't be able to find here.
An 1807 Dorcham and Wesley Boot Scraper, only one of them was ever made, and it's been lost to the mists of time! Oh, if only I could find that, I'd be the envy of the entire antiquing community, especially Worthington Dubois, my antiquing nemesis! You have an antiquing nemesis? You don't know everything about me.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! (Song: Swap Meet) We got chrome-plated carburetors, calibrated regulators Tube socks, cuckoo clocks, multi-colored alligators Taxidermy jackalope, presidential bar of soap You can find it all at the Swap Meet You can take it away if you can fit it in your ride You gotta lower the seat and then you give it a slide But there's a thing you gotta know when you head to the show If you add to your stash you gotta do it with cash Purple padded toilet seat, dolphin made of concrete Hub caps, mud flaps, food that isn't safe to eat Macramé, dust mop, curtain made of pop tops You can find it all at the Swap Meet You can find it all at the Swap Meet Dad, I know you said the Dorcham and Westley Boot Scraper thing was lost to the mists of time.
I did, didn't I? Well, I suppose I get melodramatic when I start talking about antiques.
Well, Ferb and I found this in that parchment booth.
A Dorcham and Westley Boot Scraper's map! But only three of them were ever made, and they were lost to the mists ofâ Oh, I'm doing it again.
And we know what we're gonna do today.
Hey, where's Perry? A Reno Man, No.
45, that's classic gig, brother.
Good morning, Agent P.
Look, here's the thing.
I don't know what Doof is up to.
I've been busy giving each of my friends personalized ringtones.
I've one for you Perry! and one for Carl.
Carl! I want to send out a ringtone for when I call my friends, but I don't have a theme song.
Anyway, go stop Doofenshmirtz! What an incredible waste of time.
I mean, come on.
Most of this stuff, if you saw it on the sidewalk, you'd walk around it.
Most of this stuff, if you saw it on the sidewalk, you'd walk around it.
A Ducky Momo, first edition, green-pupil variant, with a left-handed pull cord! Heavenly light! Angel chorus! I must have it.
But I gotta play it cool.
So, uh Yeah, a friend needs a paperweight for her, uh, desk, and hmm This little trinket looks about the right size.
Please, little girl, this trinket is a Ducky Momo, first edition, green-pupil variant, with a left-handed pull chord.
There are only two of these in North America.
They're more rare than Dorcham and Westley Boot Scraper's maps, but not quite as rare as the Dorcham and Westley Boot Scraper.
Yeah, mists of time, whatever.
What do you want for it? You couldn't afford it.
Would you take something in trade? The one thing I want is the one thing I can't have.
That! Early twentieth century Abyssinian silver baby rattle.
But he won't sell it to me because of that silly French cabinet! You broke the arms off my armoire! Now its just a -oire! If I get you that baby rattle, will you give me the Ducky Momo? Yes, I will.
You! How much for that baby rattle? Why, so you can sell it to him? Well, uh, yeah.
No sale.
Oh, come on! Everybody wants something.
Okay, there is something I've always wanted.
A Flenco G4-80 crystal radio! if you get me a cane with a cobra on it.
Battle of Danville commemorative dentures.
Pink gorilla suit.
Ducky Momo, first edition figurine, I will have you! Oh, hello, Perry the Platypus.
Well, as they say in the film business It's a wrap! Get it? 'Cause you're wrapped.
In film.
Well, as you know, films sway public opinion better than any other medium.
So, I have produced a movie that will convince the people of the Tri-State Area to make me their leader.
Here's a clip.
Make me your leader.
It can't miss! Anyhoo, I'm going to enter it in the Danville Film Festival today.
There'sâ Th-There's only one small hitch.
It turns out it's Danville's Young Filmmakers Festival.
You have to be less than fifteen years old, but no matter.
Because, behold, my De-Age-inator! With this, I'll turn myself into a fourteen-year-old boy, submit my film to the festival and sit back as the people of Danville are convinced that I must be installed as the leader of the entire Tri-State Area! Cigar box banjo.
An old time diving suit.
A fur lined telephone.
Be right back.
Well, the map has led us to Boot Scrapers Hall.
Oh, the spirit of Danville, see how his sole gleams, the Boot Scapers took their craft seriously.
Hey, look, there's a plaque.
But what are these funny symbols? By Harry, that's Boot Scrape! The secret language of the ancient Boot Scapers.
"To gain the world, and halt the wintle, reverse your mind, and mind the lintel.
" The lintel? It's the space between two columns.
Look! Is that Greek? Well, I know Greek, but I don't recognize some of these symbols.
Wait a minute.
Reverse your mind.
Ferb.
"The disk of fate drops the boot.
" The disk of fate? Oh, it's that coat of arms right there.
The statue! Guys, look! The statue's boot is not resting on that podium.
And the podium has a giant slot in it.
Look! It's a big penny! Ferb, pay the man.
Just like an old iron penny bank.
Stand back, boys! Wow.
Yes, the Boot Scrapers were renowned for their elaborate spiral staircases.
If that Dorcham and Westley Boot Scraper still exists, we'll find it down here.
Not if I, Worthington Dubois, have anything to say about it.
Oh, this seems to be unplugged.
There.
Oops.
Uh-oh, the film melted into oil.
That doesn't make any sense, it's not a Melt-inator.
It's aâ Oh, right.
Film is made from some petroleum product, and it made it younger, so I guess it makes some sort of ridiculous sense.
There is one last setting on the De-Age-inator and ready to fire! Cool, I'm fourteen years old.
I totally beat you, dude.
Now all I got to do is take this DVD to the Film Festival, and then I'll, like, have a lot of power and stuff.
And I'll likeâ No way, dude! You're not the boss of me.
What do you want for the 1965 Northern Llama Rancher's Association commemorative creamer? I don't know, a buck? Commemorative creamer for a clear flugelhorn.
Clear flugelhorn for a baseball stein.
Baseball stein for cyclops santa.
Cool! The inner temple.
Okay, let's get a move on.
Get down, Dad! Cobbler's mallets.
Why did it have to be cobbler's mallets? That was close.
Yes, the Boot Scrapers were master craftâ The Cavern of Secrets.
This entire room was made from materials scraped off the boots of Danville Elders, who were highly creative engineers.
Battleship hat.
Coffee grinder, pogo stick.
Secret letters home! Evil angel suit.
Oh, blimey.
I had no idea there was such a wide variety of historical boot scrapers.
Which one is it, Dad? Well, that's the question, isn't it? Only one of these can be the true Dorcham and Westley.
And no doubt a wrong choice will trigger a nasty booby trap.
Boot scrapers were famously vengeful people.
This could take every ounce of antiquing knowledge that I possess.
You can do it, Dad! At last! A hedgehog, of course.
This truly is the Dorcham and Westley Boot Scraper of legend.
But Worthington, there are no hedgehogs in America! What? Oh, well, that's justâ Wow.
He chose poorly.
Well, seeing as the place is falling apart, anyway.
Pink gorilla suit.
Battle of Danville commemorative dentures.
A cane with a cobra on it.
Dude, chill! It's mine.
I don't have to give it to you.
Hey, quit it! You're pushing me, dude! You actually got it! Let me see if I can find a box.
I-I don't seem to have a box.
Oh, well.
Wait a second, where's the patina? This is obviously brand new! It's not an antique! No trade! WHY?! Dude, you just totally broke my inator.
That's an even closer one.
Not so fast, Fletcher.
When I fell, I landed in the ruins of the Hall of the Sandal Scrapers.
An order of scrapers far more ancient than your miserable Boot Scrapers.
And with this, I'll become the most powerful antiques collector the world has ever seen! Perhaps next time we should buy new.
Prepare toâ Oh, no! My enemies from beyond space! Hey, look, Ferb, it's Garbog.
Hi, Garbog! This is gonna be good.
Team Danville, assemble! How dare you! My future wickedness! And that was the winner of this year's Young Filmmakers Contest.
Let's have a hand for the directors, Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher.
Ah, crud.
Somebody drive me home? Thank you, everyone.
But we couldn't have done this on our own.
We'd like to thank our dad, Lawrence Fletcher, for spending all afternoon making this movie with us.
I had no idea you were so good with special effects.
Oh, yeah, but it was mostly them.
And we'd like to introduce the actor responsible for bringing our villain to life.
Don't you mean actors? Don't you mean actors? 'Cause there's two of us.
Take a bow, guys! Why is there an orchestra pit in a movie theater? Seriously, I need a ride.
La la la la la la la (Song: Major Monogram Theme Song) He's Major Monogram! He appears on a screen And he wears olive green! He's Major Monogram! I like the big finish, sir.
I can do without the sarcasm, Carl.