Being Human (UK) s04e01 Episode Script

- I'm pregnant.
- My God! You're on the pill.
Yes, the pill wasn't designed with werewolves in mind.
This is really happening.
And look after him.
And look after the baby.
What about Annie? You're more powerful than you imagine so I'm keeping you around.
I'm doing this because I love you.
I know.
I think you've got a fight on your hands.
'We blocked all the bridges.
'We turned cars on their sides and painted crucifixes on the roofs and hoods 'but they came through the sewers and the subways under the Hudson.
'I've never seen so many.
'There must have been 10,000 of them.
'They didn't recruit, 'they didn't feed, they just killed everyone.
Just clambered over the bodies.
'We lost the city.
'I'm sorry.
'We did everything we We lost New York.
' I don't understand.
' This wasn't supposed to happen.
'God, they're here.
'God, it's him! He's found us!' 'Ladies and gentlemen of the Resistance, good evening.
'You'd have been so proud of your comrades.
'They put up quite a fight.
'But we slit their throats and stamped on their bones all the same.
'New York has fallen.
'The Resistance have been crushed.
'The Earth belongs to the vampires.
' All right, champ? Three teas, please.
Milk and sugar for me and Gary, just milk for Stefan.
I think he's diabetic.
I offered him some Haribo the other day.
You should have seen the face on him! Three pies, your choice, you know, surprise me.
This lot are useless.
They never bring their wallets I'm always paying for the teas and stuff.
I haven't been friends with them long.
You know, still finding my feet.
Lovely fellas, though, deep down, I expect.
Do I talk too much? Cos my mother can't stand it.
She has to lie on the sofa with a door sausage over her head.
Cheers, bra.
there you are.
Keep the change.
Can you give us a hand with the door? Course.
I'll see you round, then, yeah? Sorry, love, I'll be back in five minutes.
Here's something for you, right? I'm on the train the other day, right, and I want a cup of tea they don't even make it for you.
They just give you a bag and a cup.
I tell you, it's political correctness.
I bet you can't even say "blackcurrant" these days.
Go on, then.
What the fuck?! God.
You're one of those werewolf fellas they told me about.
I'm like, "That's a bit far-fetched.
" I mean, we're meant to recognise you, but my sinuses Shut up! Two weeks ago, a werewolf was killed.
Nina.
She was a friend of mine.
The vampire that ordered it was called Griffin.
You're going to tell me how to find him, aren't ya? Only me.
Didn't want to rent-a-ghost in and startle you.
Just I'm itching for a cuddle.
Go on I'll give you 50 quid.
I was thinking that I could take her out.
Just into the garden, you know.
Just give you a bit of a break.
She doesn't leave this room.
You know, she needs fresh air and things to look at.
I'll make sure no-one sees us.
The first sign of trouble, I'll be out of there.
Nina left.
Nina died.
So, like I said, she doesn't leave this room.
This isn't good for her.
For either of you.
I'm protecting her.
She needs a father, George, not a bodyguard.
Move.
Out of the way.
Actually, what she needs is a name.
Every time I think of a name All I can see is it written on a gravestone.
You think you're the only one in pain here? The only one grieving? Cos I've lost a lover and I've lost my best friend and I'm not Look at this.
They've won, you realise that? With you like this, they've already won, George.
You're a dick.
You're a dick.
What did you say? The meeting's started.
What's your story? I want to speak to Mr Griffin.
I've got information.
Information? You're funny.
The rest of the Old Ones arrive in two months, by which time I will have obtained the child from the werewolf Sands.
Sorry, can somebody explain to me the significance of this baby? Well, first, its father killed John Mitchell in some ham-fisted gesture of affection, then he killed my predecessor, Wyndham, leaving me no choice but to have his bitch put down.
But, more specifically, that baby is the first of its kind.
Werewolves have only ever been made, not born.
I want to present it as a tribute to the Old Ones on their arrival.
As long as they know a werewolf baby's for life, not just for Christmas.
Then they will be transported overnight to positions on the coast.
At the appointed time, they will start to move inland killing and recruiting.
A second wave of foot soldiers will follow to mop up any remaining resistance and aid the conversion of the new recruits.
Have we got enough crossbows and catapults? Only we're clearly going for a medieval vibe, so I just want to check we've got the right props.
Do you have a better suggestion, Cutler? What? No, I'm just wondering how much you really know about the world you're taking over.
What you're suggesting, it's brutal, sure, but it shows a fundamental lack of understanding of how small the world is now.
You think humanity's just going to cower in its little hovel while you stampede? Before you reach the first major city, they'll have raised an army.
On Twitter.
History has shown God, you people are obsessed with history! You've got this guy, you have literally brought a guy with you, the Keeper of Scrolls, or whatever he's called.
I am the Vampire Recorder.
The Vampire Recorder? I'm so sorry, for a moment there I thought you had a really stupid name.
You see, this is what I'm saying.
You've spent so long looking behind you, you don't know how much the landscape has changed.
We have to take the world by force because the world will never accept us willingly.
So, we create a new context and we show them something worse.
George? What are you doing, George?! It's me, Tom! What happened to you? Is she a werewolf? She can see Annie.
So probably.
God, George, she's beautiful.
Have you given her a name yet? I've been kind of busy.
Even McNair gave me a name, and he ate my parents.
I've called round a few times, but no-one was in.
Or maybe they was in, they just couldn't hear me cos it's such a big house with so many rooms just sitting there empty.
I told Annie not to answer the door.
Yeah, I had to jump over the back fence and knock on a window.
What happened to Nina, George? I know they killed her but what did they do? I know where Griffin's going to be.
The Old Ones are coming.
Griffin's meeting them halfway off the coast of Sierra Leone.
He's leaving tonight.
So we'll be at the docks.
How do you know? A vampire told me.
It's a trap.
How? It ain't.
Tonight's a full moon.
Exactly.
It's the one night he knows we won't be able to get to him.
You hardly knew Nina.
I knew her enough.
Sorry, guys.
Tom, can I have a word, please? - Yeah, I was just - Yeah, now.
Now would be lovely, actually, great.
What was that for? Tom, I still have some relatives in Brighton.
Maybe you would like to give them a call and try and get them killed, too? - What? - The chimney.
I heard every single word.
It's a brilliant baby monitor.
Or at least it would be if I was allowed to go and comfort her when she cries, and I'm not.
what were we talking about? Yes.
What else was I supposed to do? You've seen the state of him, he's got to do something.
Excuse me, I have this under control, OK? I will have him up and about in no time at all without you coming in and filling his head with all of this this twattage.
If Griffin's leaving the country, this'll be the last chance he gets.
To die? Yes, Tom.
Yes, it might be.
Well Will you just stop hitting me, please?! For God's sake, Tom! I can't lose anyone else! I've said goodbye to so many people.
I can't even process it.
My whole life was Mitchell and George and Nina.
But now Mitchell's dead.
And Nina's dead.
And George is gone.
And there's nothing nice in this house any more except that baby.
And it is such a big house, as well, with all those rooms just going empty and that.
I don't know what we are now.
I don't know what I am.
Let's do it.
How does Superman cut his hair? It's indestructible.
So his hair must be too.
So how does he cut it? Maybe he has special scissors.
Special scissors? That's ridiculous.
I'll look it on the internet.
But no looking at medical websites.
Last time you convinced yourself you had heart disease.
I had all the symptoms.
Shortness of breath, constriction of the airway All the symptoms of someone who'd put their jumper on back to front.
Hilarious.
- Every time.
- You're done.
What do you think my chances are? Pearl won't talk about it.
I tried last night after Only Connect and she threw the remote control at me.
So I'm asking you.
The last full moon left you bedridden for two weeks.
It's likely the next one will kill you.
Thank you for your honesty.
We could sedate you.
Save you the pain of the transformation.
But I'd be wary of doing anything that would lower your reserves for the change-back.
What will it mean if I die? For both of you.
The shop and the flat upstairs are in your name, so we'd lose those.
And if a ghost loses their root and their familiars, they fade.
She will disperse and drift away on the breeze like smoke.
She'll still have you, won't she? You, her, this place, together they have been My cage.
They've kept me safe from the world.
And the world safe from me.
I just think we need to talk about this first.
What's to talk about? I thought you wanted me to stop moping? George, I meant have a shower, not storm the Batcave.
Besides, it's Splodge's first transformation.
- Splodge? - Yeah.
Daft, isn't it? It's almost as if she hasn't been given a proper name.
The curse repairs what it damages.
She'll be fine.
OK, so you do not answer the door to anyone, even if it's one of those people with terrible skin selling J Cloths.
It will be a vampire so just stake it and rent-a-ghost her out of here.
What, I I can't rent-a-ghost if I'm carrying a living thing.
You're kidding? Since when? Since forever, George.
Did you get it? For goodness' sake, George, you are kidding! Well, if you're worried about her hurting herself just stick a load of, like, pillows and duvets on the floor.
Not in here, maybe, but luckily you've got all them other rooms going free and empty, so This isn't for her safety, it's for everyone else's.
What? Well, aren't you going to say goodbye? Well, aren't you coming downstairs? To your daughter.
Yeah, of course.
I was just Don't die.
OK.
I love you.
Why don't I do it? George, I could do it cos they can't hurt me and I have killed vampires before A vampire before.
You know why.
OK, Splodge, brace yourself for some serious cuddling.
Sit's OK.
It's OK.
You've still got the strap grazes from last month.
Have you been picking at them? They're taking a while to heal.
If they get infected, don't come crying to me.
Right, think that's everything.
Have you been to the toilet? We're not having a repeat of that.
I have.
If you want anything, I'll be sat outside with my Marie Claire.
Pearl? Say goodbye, just in case.
In case what? You're not going anywhere.
You're strapped to a bed! Pearl, please.
You're just trying to upset me.
I won't rise to it, Leo.
He's right.
You should say goodbye.
Look at you both.
My God, I really was the luckiest man alive.
Together, we did the impossible.
A werewolf, a vampire and a ghost.
But this doesn't have to be the end for you.
Remember this moment.
- Remember what we had.
- We will.
We were on the outside of humanity, so we could guard it.
Do you understand? So we could guard it.
I can't listen to this.
You're fine.
Now, save your strength, we'll have no more of this nonsense.
Shepherd's pie tomorrow.
They used baseball bats.
- She'd only gone to the shops, she hadn't left the house since she'd had her daughter a week or so earlier.
I told her, "Get some fresh air.
" And they were waiting for her.
They wore helmets with visors.
Did you know, werewolf blood was toxic to vampires? No.
Yeah, so they didn't want to get splattered with any while they beat her to death in an alley.
Griffin's in the police, so, yeah, obviously there was no investigation, no search, no arrests.
Witness was intimidated, case closed.
But on the plus side, he sent flowers.
That's why I have to do this.
Not Annie.
It has to be me.
Are there any vampires? Your senses are better than mine.
I can't tell.
They've put ammonia down to cover the scent.
Right, you know what Griffin looks like so you go straight for him.
I'll take care of the others.
It's coming.
We've gotta do this.
It's a trap.
Where are they, then? God.
All right, Splodge.
It's getting dark.
One more cuddle and then Mr Sands? My name is Lisa Monkton, I'm from Social Services, could you open the door? We've received a call from a neighbour saying that a baby is being left here alone, I just want to talk to you and check that Is that the baby crying? Right, Mr Sands, I have a police officer here with me.
Because you're not responding, it leads me to believe no-one is looking after the baby.
If you don't open this door, we're going to have to force our way in.
- Are there any dogs in there? - What? Well, we did a raid on a crack house and I got bitten by a bloody great big Doberman.
I've got this thing about dogs now.
Don't tell anyone.
No, it's fine.
Come in.
Where is she? Sounded like she was in here.
Bloody hell, just the decor's enough to get the kid flustered.
George, stop a minute! You can't go.
George.
No, no, no, no! George, you're about to change, you won't make it home in time.
- You'll change in the street.
- They've gone for the baby! Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
But Annie will look after her, you know she will.
No, it's a trap! It's a trap! OK, OK, it's OK, everything's fine.
My gosh, is it happening, are you changing? It's going to happen.
It's going to change! OK, we're going to be fine, we're going to Gosh.
Jesus.
Literally.
OK, you get the baby, I'll check the other rooms.
Splease, please be quiet.
Please, please.
Please, I know that this looks really bad, but I promise you, that baby What kind of sick bastard puts a baby in a cage? No, no, no, you don't understand, she needs to stay here.
It's actually very important she stays here.
She has like It's like, well, it's like a medical condition.
Why the fuck did I listen to you! I I thought you'd be pleased, I was trying to impress ya.
What do you mean? So I could live with ya, with you, Annie and the baby.
I can't stand it in that van no more, it's doing me head in.
I don't believe this.
It's not just that, Nina meant a lot to me.
- I don't believe this! - Nina meant a lot to me, as well.
I thought we could do this together, like me and McNair back in the day.
Tom, I am not your fucking father! You ain't nobody's father.
The child needs to stay in this house, you don't understand.
S I've radioed ahead, there's a paediatrician standing by at Barry General.
Can you just check in the kitchen, make sure the parents haven't left an address? Darling, it's OK, I'm gonna fix this, I'm gonna fix this.
What would Nina do, what would George do? Think, Annie, think! OK, this is not good, this No, no Right, listen to me.
You don't do anything.
You don't make things fly about or What is it you do? Teleport? Rent-a rent-a-ghost.
You try any shit like that and I will tear the baby's head off and slit lovely Lisa's throat, are we clear? You say, "Yes, Fergus.
" Yes, Fergus.
Good girl.
Any luck? Nothing in there.
Do you really call it rent-a-ghost? That's just stupid.
Who were you talking to? Just muttering to myself.
Bloody animals, some people.
Give us a go.
I'm brilliant with babies.
Hey! Got kids yourself, have you? No, not yet.
Waiting for someone to whisk me off my feet.
Come on, let's get her out of here.
I think I'm in there.
Bye-bye, ghostie! No, no, don't! No! Go, go, go, go, go! No, wait! No, please! - What's happening? - You can see me?! That's me, Christ, that's me! I have to get that baby back, you don't understand! - Please, help me! - I'll come back for you, I promise.
- He slit my throat - I'll be back.
No, please! We're at full moon.
It's human.
It's just human.
Did you know this was going to happen? No.
But it means I need to check something out.
Anyone need a baby? He's alive.
Just.
I said he was just making a fuss.
He won't survive another one, will he? Annie? They said they would kill her if I tried to stop them.
George, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
It's all right, we'll get her back.
I'll go out now and find her and bring her back.
I promise ya.
Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie.
Every car should have these, they should fit them as standard.
Where's my daughter? Get off me.
Give me back my fucking daughter.
Don't panic, she's alive.
But if I go back with so much as a creased shirt, we'll kill her.
OK? The thing is, I need a welcoming present for the rest of the Old Ones.
I want it to be you.
It was going to be your baby - the first organic werewolf, but obviously that's not going to happen now Sorry, should have said.
The werewolf genes must have cancelled each other out, she's just a baby, baby.
So, the killer of Mitchell and Wyndham will have to suffice.
What if I say no? Then we'll kill Sorry, what is her name? She doesn't have one.
Right.
- When will you let him go? - Sorry, I didn't get a word of that.
When the Old Ones come, you'll let me and the baby go, right? The baby, perhaps, but you, no.
We'll probably skin you.
We've entered the end game.
We're going to swallow the world up in one quick gulp.
So, come with me, don't come with me.
You've all got tickets for the Titanic either way.
I just thought you'd like to spend a little more time with your nameless daughter before we start the pogroms.
Come on, George, shake a leg, it's Thursday and you know what that means? Fajitas! Please! Get off me, get off me! I've got something to show you.
It's a werewolf, transforming.
It's two werewolves.
Is this from the warehouse? We talked about it yesterday? I've got it all under control - just a question of preparing the ground.
I don't care who you are or who your maker was, he's gone now.
This is a distraction.
You are a distraction.
Now, make my fucking tea.
What the hell's the matter with you? Well, basically, I never thought the baby wouldn't be a werewolf, but when it wasn't, I was like, "Blimey!" Then I remembered a bit of old vampire mythology.
These are two pieces of a parchment that's been split into three.
My God, that is human skin! This is like the Dead Sea Scrolls, the holiest of holies.
Yeah, but I bet the Magna Carta doesn't have nipple on it! The first vampires were two brothers in Asia.
They made a pact with the devil for eternal life in exchange for blood.
But when they first drank blood, they had five dreams and from these dreams come all our myths and legends.
Each dream has a name.
And this, I think, is the last dream, which is called the War Child.
This means the house the child was born into.
This pyramid usually means Africa, but it also means Trinity - supernatural Trinity.
A werewolf, a vampire and a ghost share a house.
This means baby, but specifically human baby.
- And this means moon.
- Human child of the moon.
Human child of werewolves? And it ends on this sequence.
This means Godhead, or the saviour.
This symbol means vampires.
And, finally, this means death.
We're all gonna die.
Game over, because of this baby.
I mean, we're all gonna die because of this baby.
We kill her.
We kill her now.
Wait a sec.
You don't believe this? I mean, it's tea leaves.
It's horoscopes! No, no, no, no.
You don't understand.
We have no say in this.
This is what happens.
No, I refuse to stand by and watch while the vampires get wiped off the face of the Earth.
Besides, what a welcoming present this will make for the Old Ones the head of the human saviour.
So, first there's a baby, then it's George, then it's the baby again.
Who'd have thought the Old Ones would be so difficult to shop for Gather everyone.
I want this done quickly.
No, wait! - I have to do it.
- You? Why? Has to be done in a certain way, or it doesn't count.
There's a special knife.
Special robes.
And a special hat.
It's surprisingly specific.
It's gonna take me ages to get 'em all together.
You've got ten minutes.
By the way, what happened to this piece of parchment? No idea.
Never been found.
Well? Did you get it? We've met.
You, won't remember.
I volunteered for the werewolf recruitment drive ten years back.
You came to visit us and we all lined up to shake your hand.
You can't have been more than - Ma'am? - You can go now.
- Is there anything I can? - I said go! I'm sorry, Dewi, but your day's about to take a turn for the worse.
A friend of ours was captured by your lot.
I would do what he says, because I cannot control this guy.
- Bollocks! Sorry for swearing.
- Seriously, he is wild.
It's all right.
Now, answer the question! No, you're good cop, remember, like we rehearsed.
- Yeah, sorry, yeah.
- All right.
Seriously, I cannot control this guy - What? - All right.
I'll tell you.
Look, to tell the truth, I'm a bit pissed off with the vampires.
When they first took me on, they were like, "You're one of us now," and I thought, "Smashing!" I'd never been part of a gang before.
At school, I used to hang round with the asthmatics, but that was only cos they couldn't run away.
But do you know when I told you about the wrong address and stuff? I made that up on the spot.
And it was dead convincing, wasn't it? So I tells the vampires, you know, so they can set a trap or something, and, well, they didn't even thank me! I thought I might get a pint or a certificate or something.
"Dewi Jenkins, initiative is conspicuous by its absence.
" Not my words, the words of my form tutor, Mr Parsons.
But I do have initiative, because I tricked you.
And if I had a certificate or something then I could say, "Ha! What do you reckon to that, Mr Parsons? "Yeah, you and your Ford Focus.
" So, what, you're going to tell us or what? Better than that.
I'll show you.
I'll go in, I'll see where they're keeping the baby and that other werewolf fella.
Then, when the coast is clear, I'll come out and get you, OK? What's going on? They're gonna execute the baby.
You weren't that attached to it, were you? No! What are you doing? I told you.
There's a protocol.
I don't believe it.
Forgotten the knife.
Isn't that it, under your robe? Yeah.
Brilliant.
zmm-body-do-something-ing-ning Hab Soli' Quch! Full wise he is that can him-selven know Nya New-tanj-me-tandis.
Et in arcadia ergo.
Kai killius et in horto.
How now, erat, dead for a ducket.
Dead! Ma-bi-nogyon! We need to ask you for one last favour.
Yeah.
They explained.
And will it change anything? I don't know.
Go and shut him up, will you, please? Something's happening with the baby.
Quick! - Are you sure you want me to do this? - Of course.
Is that somebody's phone? - I've got the baby.
- OK, come on, get back, get back! Thank you.
My God, George, what have you done? Annie, grab the baby.
I'm on it! If you harm that baby, I swear I knew you'd come to save her.
She has to stay alive! What? She's the War Child.
What am I going to do? I've just killed a vampire.
They don't like that.
- They know where I live! - Take these.
There's a big blue camper van in the car park behind Lidl.
Take it and go.
Drive as far away as you can.
You don't need a gang, mate.
You're the Lone Ranger, you're a hero.
She begged, George.
She screamed.
She wept.
I just want you to know that.
Scrub up on your supernature, George.
Bites can't hurt me! George? No, Tom, Tom, it's OK.
Give me the baby.
- You're having a laugh.
Look at him! - Just give me the baby, please.
It's OK.
It's OK, George.
She's OK.
You saved her.
I saved her? Yes! Yes, you did.
You saved her.
She She's She's She's OK? She's OK? She's more than OK.
She's fine! Tell him, tell him what you told me.
She's gonna wipe us out.
She's going to save the world.
It's all here.
You won't understand it, but you should have it.
Please take care of it.
How did you do that? Become half a werewolf? I tricked my body into the transformation, so I'd be strong enough to break out of the cage.
That's bad.
You'll have started the internal changes, too.
The shutting down and reformation of the major organs.
But you aren't going to go through the healing process in the same way as after a complete transformation.
What do you mean? What does that mean? He's given himself liver, kidney and heart failure.
What's her name? She doesn't have a name yet.
OK, baby.
I'll see you soon.
Tom? George? George, it's OK, we're going to get you to hospital.
George, it's OK.
It's me, it's Annie.
I'm gonna get you to a hospital, OK? It's going to be fine.
It's OK.
You were very brave.
Listen to me.
You'll have to look after her.
George? Promise me.
I promise.
Of course, I promise! God, no! Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom.
- Yep.
- Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom.
Yeah.
Stay with them.
The vampires will be back to get her.
You have to stay with them.
- Yeah.
- Always.
- Do you understand? - Yeah, George, George, George? Look at your baby.
Say goodbye.
My God.
She's beautiful.
She needs a name, George.
Eve.
She's called Eve.
George! Annie.
It's OK.
It's just the end of my story.
I have to be with my Nina.
Please, George.
Please not you, as well.
I can't I can't lose you, as well.
You take care of her.
What are we going to do? What are you going to do? I'm going to save the world.
She's going to save the world.
I'm going to kill that baby.
We need a miracle.
So, this is how it starts.
- Is he a werewolf? - A very naughty werewolf.
We shall retrieve this ring if that's what he wants.
We won't start liking each other, because you're a dickhead.
You are a Neanderthal.
Move in here! Are you somehow drunk? He's got me in a Heimlich Nelson.
Well, gentlemen, I'm going to have to split this up.
I'm waiting.
Make your move.