Billions (2016) s04e01 Episode Script
Chucky Rhoades's Greatest Game
1 [Axe.]
Previously on Billions The case you'll be bringing is: obstruction of justice.
Against the Attorney General.
We need the icebreaker now.
We need Grigor Andolov.
[Taylor.]
International criminals are unstable bedrock for a cap raise.
You don't think taking his money was at least worth a discussion? There was a discussion.
He said I was off the raise team.
[Foley.]
This is an object lesson.
It's time to put away childish enthusiasms.
I don't even know that it's wrong for him to do what he's doing [Danzig.]
only that I don't like how it makes me feel.
Boss Mick Danzig just quit.
- [Chuck.]
Jack.
- No.
Yes, Jack.
[Chuck.]
I know that you have built a good chunk [Chuck.]
of your fortune on cheap steel deals.
It's not only illegal, it's fucking dangerous.
But if you imagine this is the first time I've ever had to wrestle with my shoulders near the mat, you're gonna learn something very different.
We.
Fucking.
Did it! Six billion dollars committed.
[Wags.]
I've been making follow-up calls to book [Wags.]
the money that was pledged at the raise.
I'm having problems locking it in.
[Milyutin.]
It looks like you're ready to get into business.
[Taylor.]
I need a meeting with your boss, Grigor Andolov.
I will pull all my money, and I will give it to Taylor.
[Taylor.]
A new kind of organization.
And you can make more than you do now.
With a partnership stake.
You've stolen from me.
And you've betrayed me.
- Alvin? - [Epstein.]
We got him.
[Epstein.]
It worked.
I can play you the tape.
[Jock.]
The fellas told me what you had in store for me.
You, Charles Rhoades Junior, are relieved of duty.
On power of the President, you are fired! Get the fuck out of here.
- 'lo, Bob.
- Charles.
So, you know how you're gonna go after Jock? Some ideas floating around my head.
[Chuck.]
And, uh, Taylor? Yeah.
Got a plan that's starting to form.
[dramatic music.]
Don't, don't, don't, don't Eeny weeny, teeny weeny Shriveled Don't, don't, don't want a dick [sniffs.]
[laughs.]
Don't want, don't want no short dick Eeny weeny, teeny weeny - Teeny little short dick man - Excuse me.
Don't want, don't want no short dick man What in the world is that fucking thing? You bopping over to the Taylor Mason party after this? So you have good intel.
That we met with Ms.
Mason.
If that's what you want to call them.
We need to be certain no money is going to ex-employees of Axe Capital Ms.
Mason, specifically, if you want us to continue jacking up your returns.
One moment.
Eeny weeny, teeny weeny Shriveled little short dick man Don't want, don't want, don't want, don't want Eeny weeny, teeny weeny Shriveled little short dick man Don't, don't want, don't want, don't want Absolutely.
Yeah.
Teeny weeny, teeny little short dick Teeny weeny, teeny little short dick man Don't, don't, don't want, don't want no short dick man This conversation should continue with the Sheik back at the Embassy.
He's having his own after-party.
Don't want, don't want, don't want, don't want Eeny weeny, teeny weeny Teeny little short dick Eeny weeny, teeny weeny, shriveled little short [dramatic music.]
[indistinct conversations.]
Where's the Sheik? We can have more fun without him.
Come on.
I'd love that.
[laughs.]
[dramatic music.]
[grunts.]
[Dokter Worst's "Dokter Worst".]
If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man Win some, lose some, it's all the same to me The pleasure is to play Makes no difference what you say Good morning, boss.
Hey, Chef Ryan.
I got up early.
Just put that coffee in a go-cup and get the car brought around.
Man like you should eat something.
So you have fuel to burn.
Do I look like I need to fan the fire? The new, beefed up non-competes.
Ready to be signed.
They better be iron fucking clad.
Believe me, they're tighter than AC/DC in '78.
Then let 'em fly.
I feel fine Hmm I feel fine Ooh I feel fine 'Course I do I feel fine Because there is something about King Jesus Ah.
Man that preacher can sing.
Hmm? Al Green! The Reverend.
But this is before that.
Now, this is The Belle Album.
It's considered by many to be the long player he made as an apology and entreaty to Jesus Christ for the life of the flesh he had been living before he joined the ministry.
Is that so? Indubitably.
Hmm.
Just two years earlier, he was scalded when his girlfriend threw a boiling pot of hot grits over him in the midst of a fight.
She felt so bad after, that she retreated into the bedroom, picked up his handgun his handgun and shot herself.
Dead.
Tragic.
Mm.
My guess? Green never forgave himself for having that pistol in the house.
This bullshit is you telling me you can't get me a gun permit.
[chuckles.]
No, sir! It is no small thing to do, but if that's what's necessary, I can make it happen.
No, I tell you the story as a way to communicate that you shouldn't want a gun permit.
I don't want one.
I need one.
I'm high profile, I own horses, I carry cash to and from the track, to the garage and back.
My wife, look, the kid loves jewelry, I need to know that we can move freely and safely.
Mr.
Brogan, do not get a permit to carry a handgun.
You asked for my counsel, that's my counsel.
No.
I'm not here for your counsel.
You're supposed to be a power broker now, right? So broker some power.
Tap your relationship with the Police Commissioner.
Unless, when they canned your ass, you lost all your pull.
- Is that what this is? - [chuckles.]
Please.
My favor bank is chock-full.
How's this: I happen to have in my possession, a Park-Anywhere Permit direct from the Mayor's Office.
You can pull right up wherever you're going, nice and safe, no one will ticket your car.
You park on the sidewalk and cops will have to walk around it.
Cops already walk around my car.
I have an ex-cop driving it.
I know a carry permit is almost impossible in New York.
Yes.
Toughest in the country.
Only ex-cops and ex-feds gain concealed carry permits - in New York City - And guys hooked up on high.
Which is what I figured you were.
But now it's clear, you're not.
[sighs.]
[dramatic music.]
[door opens.]
Teva's about to announce, you poised, Dollar Bill? Aye, Captain.
If América Móvil gets whacked, the peso goes with it, Ev I'm Everready.
Personal foul on the play: Using your own nickname.
Hey, Rudy, where are you landing on Rio? I'm seeing weakness in Australian ore, so [chuckles.]
You're the only weakness I'm seeing.
[Rudy.]
Wait, what? Over in the kitchen before the open you said they were expanding their rail capacity.
- Yeah.
- So I thought they must be expanding their CapEx and would be down for a quarter or two That was your mistake: thinking.
Hey, what's the rumpus? - I was - Nothing.
I want you two in sync like incestuous ice dancers.
My thong's already riding up my crack, I don't need you up there too, Axe.
Oh, that's exactly where I am.
That goes for all of you.
So give, Bonnie.
Fine.
They're expecting shipments of 360 million tons.
The information is fucking out there.
[dramatic music.]
Do you know why Ovi scores so much? 'Cause Backstrom shares the puck.
Yeah, but when he does, Ovi goes bardown.
This lame loses the puck between his legs, or airmails it into the goddamn glass.
So I fire him, and he never fucks up again - Right, Rudy? - [Rudy.]
That's right, Axe! And you signed your non-compete, didn't you? [Rudy.]
Of course! Good.
Rudy, you're fired.
For, for misreading Bonnie's information? That and for fraternizing.
With our sworn fucking enemies.
Taylor Mason Capital picnic? I accepted that invitation a long time ago before.
- No one talked shop - Everyone else here declined.
Or didn't even fucking respond.
Public execution.
Power move.
Whose bits aren't hard, huh? Gross.
This is a new day for Axe Cap, so we will all share our information or we won't be a part of it.
Get with it, or get fucked, people.
- So you're firing me too? - No, he fired you.
I'm seconding it.
Go.
We now live in a universe split down the middle.
You got to pick sides.
If you're not on mine, you're gone.
That was bracing.
I'm headed off to the land of milk and honey.
Or their embassy, at least.
You sure you don't want to come along and help me deal with the sovereign wealth fund? This is my sovereign wealth fund.
You really sure you want me to deal with the royals? Competition is probably sending their top dog.
Oh, believe me, they're not sitting down with Taylor.
They would never see someone like them.
And the sovereign money is pledged to us already.
This is just about setting terms.
But that's the hard part.
Nobody's paying full freight anymore.
Wags, it's bad enough that we had to go 2 and 20.
We gotta make our stand there.
We might as well be running a mutual fund.
You go deliver this message and get us our terms.
- Jawohl, kommandant.
- And cut that shit out.
Whatever you say, amigo.
I, Bryan James Flynn Connerty, do solemnly swear [Judge Wailand.]
That I will support and defend [Judge Wailand.]
the Constitution of the United States that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.
against all enemies foreign and domestic.
Our boy looks good up there, doesn't he? Like he was born to it.
No one's born to it, Ms.
Sacker, not even you.
He had to kill for it.
It's what makes it worth something.
As you will likely find out one day So help me God.
So help me God.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you, Your Honor.
[applause.]
Thank you so much, Your Honor.
Thank you.
[sighs.]
You finally made it.
Yeah.
Long time coming.
First order of business? Something I've been giving a lot of thought to.
- I want to go after - Mr.
U.
S.
Attorney, I would love to borrow you for a New York minute.
Mr.
Attorney General.
I just want to say thank Yeah, faith bestowed.
New beginnings.
Debts of gratitude.
Fresh opportunities.
All those wonderful things.
Let's just consider that covered, shall we? - Okay.
- Move on to sloppy inheritances.
Cleaning up messes that came before.
We're talking about Chuck? We are.
We get one chance to firewall ourself off from his tenure, and this is how we're gonna do it You can't get Brogan a gun permit? [Senior.]
Pathetic.
Uh, we live in New York City, Dad, not Beaumont, Texas.
Gun permits are quite hard to come by.
I sent that man in to you because he is important [Senior.]
in the very city in which we live.
And state.
With all the benefactors you will need.
- You sent him to me? Hmm? - Who the fuck else? You need to go on the offensive.
Because everyone else is lining up against you.
Tell him, Ira.
- Hello, buddy.
- Your father is correct.
Most of your major cases are being put under review by SDNY, by Connerty, for any kind of wrongdoing.
Oh, those fuckers.
All my good work undone.
Hmm? Legacy trashed.
All my accomplishments wiped out as though I were never there.
Yeah, that'll happen.
But it's worse than that.
They're digging for misconduct, wrongful prosecutions, politically motivated decision-making, conflict of interest They'll try to abandon convictions.
- Your name will be ruined.
- [Senior.]
His name?! That's my name he's wearing.
And it will not be besmirched.
- I don't think we can stop - Oyez, oyez, Sonny! They are trying to hang you from the yardarm.
And you have not claimed the high ground from where you can repel the siege.
If you were in a position of influence, - if you had a power base - [Senior.]
Yes.
Then you could take vengeance on them, on Connerty and Jeffcoat and the rest, make them defend instead of attack.
All I want is vengeance, and it will be had.
And we all know what I need to do it.
A perch.
And Epstein's vacated New York Attorney General's seat is there for me.
And maybe I could win it.
But the moment I poke my head up, Jack Foley will come after me.
Release what he has on me.
Or threaten to, as I'm no longer in a position to prosecute him.
I would slap your face and tell you to act like a man if I didn't think it'd turn you on.
It wouldn't, Dad.
Not from you.
Not how it works.
Good lord.
Well, regardless.
We could give what you have to a sympathetic prosecutor.
Or at the right time, I will take care of Foley.
But you get yourself in goddamn position.
Get off your ass and rebuild your influence.
Because you're gonna need it.
Start by getting that goddamn gun permit.
- I don't think I can, Dad.
- You can and you will.
The very difficulty of it is why you must.
[dramatic music.]
Make the rounds, Sonny.
Like Billy Phelan did in his city.
You know exactly where all the people are who can help you.
Use them the way a bathhouse piano player used poppers to give you that electric shock of power just when you need it most.
Charles, thinking about your past, really freaks me out.
What a glorious thing it was.
[dramatic music.]
[Taylor.]
What I remember.
What made me want to sit with you is: you weren't afraid to lead with your heart while absolutely smashing your book.
I'm here because of what I remember: that you were the smartest person I ever worked with.
But then I almost didn't come in today.
Look, I get we're in a game that requires us to win and that means we have to shut our minds to the fact that other professionals will lose And you're fine with that as long as the loser is on par with you, but when, say it's a Yeah.
I got tired of beating up on the defenseless.
Like we taught 'em at Annapolis: it's better than being the defenseless.
That's true.
And I love that, actually.
But there are things they were comfortable with at Axe Cap that we will never do here.
I made sure of that before I signed on.
It's a big part of why I asked Sara to become COO.
Her reputation, first as Chief of Staff for the Supe, - then in Silicon Valley - Taylor, you led the charge on how to wring cash from Sandicot.
Yes.
That's true.
Because that's what Axe Cap does to a person.
Don't I know it.
Axe and Wags, even Wendy, are like the United Citizen Federation.
They turned us all into Starship Troopers, sent us to Klendathu and some of us got our brains eaten.
And it wasn't until the end of our time in that we realized: we were the bad guys all along.
[dramatic music.]
It's not like that here.
We will do it the right way this time, man.
You know how loyal I was to Axe.
This is why I left him to come here.
And why you should be here, too.
If I signed on, when would you be looking for me to start? We need folks right fucking now.
We're desperate.
Next week or two.
- Mafee.
- I know.
Never let anyone outside of the family know what you're thinking.
It's not enough to quote it.
You need to live it.
Why didn't Danzig commit in the room? Maybe going forward, be a little less scary? I thought I was inviting.
I'm scary? - Yes.
- Yes.
Fucking wimps.
Why is Mick Danzig the best candidate that we've seen? Where are the applied math wizards, the financial engineers? Do I have to go to an MIT job fair? I'm trying.
Wall Street's had some of the luster knocked off So buff it back up and close Danzig.
Then find me people with no fear.
Like Sara.
[door opens, closes.]
It's time for you to suit up for the meeting.
I'll step out, let you put it on.
I find that I don't want to.
It's wrong that I have to.
Yeah.
It is.
When you poached me, you said: whatever it takes.
You said it was my job to remind you of that, so strap it the fuck on.
[door closes.]
[dramatic music.]
[Axe.]
About personnel.
We've succeeded in keeping the best applicants away.
[dramatic music.]
[Wendy.]
I took care of the head hunter.
It's frustrating Taylor.
But they did bring in Mick Danzig.
- Want to hire him.
- Well, scoop him up.
Overpay him.
You want Danzig that much? What I want that much is for Taylor to have nothing.
With that fucking Russki backing them, my options are limited.
So these guys are gonna be a permanent fixture? Till I find a way to get Grigor out of here.
[dramatic music.]
Mr.
Wagner, no one enjoys your company more than I do Oh.
I can supply you with the names of a couple gals who might give you a run for your money on that.
But I appreciate the sentiment However, the Sheik would prefer, and frankly is in the habit, of sitting with the decision maker.
With Mr.
Axelrod.
Think of me as that decision maker.
I speak for him.
Regardless, the Sheik will not see the value in paying above market.
- 2 and 20 is standard.
- [Farhad.]
Was standard.
Not for an investment the size of ours.
It doesn't matter if it's as swole as Dirk Diggler on his first night with Rollergirl.
[Wags.]
This is one of those rare cases where size doesn't actually matter.
You know how the price of admission for women into your fine country is that they cover their tatas and donut? [Wags.]
Well, our version of that is 2 and 20.
We won't stone you if you refuse, but we will kick you out of our fund.
Are you comparing your fee structure, by way of several vulgarisms, to our religion? To Bobby Axelrod, fees are religion and money is his God.
This makes him the perfect shepherd for you in the material world.
And at least when you pray to his God, you get another fucking Bentley out of it.
Look, we both know in seven to 20 years when everything runs electric you'll all be back to herding goats over there, so you might want to get me in front of your boss Sadly, that will never happen if 2 and 20 is your sticking point.
- Now, if you're willing to c - [Wags.]
Don't even fucking think of dictating the fees, Farhad.
[Farhad.]
This is getting heated, which, between friends, is not right.
Now, let's all cool off, pick this up tomorrow.
[Farhad.]
In the meanwhile, I am hopeful that in the spirit of friendship, our nighttime plans remain on.
On like Chaka Khan Chaka Khan.
Chaka Khan.
Chaka Khan, let me rock ya, let me rock ya, Chaka Khan.
Let me rock ya, that's all I wanna do.
[dramatic music.]
[Wags.]
Taylor fucking Mason I'm telling you.
But gorgeous.
Like Kate Jackson hot.
- You sure? - Pretty fucking sure.
I looked right into her their eyes.
[Wendy.]
It'd be something of a necessity dealing with a sovereign wealth fund.
Taylor Mason, willing to compromise their steely fucking principles to get the loot.
Well, I admire it.
But I'm gonna stop it.
This could only be the introductory meeting.
No fucking way they got to the Sheik in the first round.
We can never let Taylor get to the Sheik.
Easy, big fella.
They're in my head all the time.
First I miss the coup.
Then the leader of the coup thinks they're sneaking in here and taking the sovereign funds meant for me.
How you doing with the sovereign? Maybe we should scoop up everything they're looking to invest, shut out Mason Capital.
Yeah.
That's your final term.
No Taylor.
I haven't closed yet.
They didn't react well to the idea of us keeping to our fee level.
But we're going clubbing tonight, which you know is my métier.
So we'll see what I can do.
I'm heading out.
I'm gonna trade out this funeral attire for The all black uniform of the middle-aged warrior? - Exactly.
- I'll stand by.
Call me when you need reinforcements.
Call me when it's over.
Just fucking call me.
Copy, fratello mio.
[slow rock music.]
You ever just not want a day to start? No.
And neither do you.
Maybe I'm going about this wrong.
Oliver Dake is teaching law You are not Oliver fucking Dake.
And you don't want to be.
If word gets out that you can't get a VIP a gun permit, no matter how hard it is to do, the story will be 'Chuck Rhoades is over.
' Then, sure, go teach.
[sighs.]
Right in the breadbasket.
You know how to do this.
Like a honeybee, take what you pick up here, you drop it there, just make sure at the end of the day, you're the one who ends up with all the nectar.
Check in with me later.
I'm ready to help.
[Fun Lovin' Criminals' "King of New York".]
Frankie was a mook from the block we used to live on The wanna be the gangster The wanna be the dapper Don, Don John [Sansome.]
The kid's got H-He's lights out, okay? He's got a 12-6 curveball, boom, drops right off the table.
They're gonna protest, Chief.
Gotta go with him, he's our best chance to win.
[Ortiz.]
He's too old.
They're not gonna let our kid on the mound Commissioner Sansome, imagine seeing you here this fine morning.
Former U.
S.
Attorney Rhoades.
[chuckles.]
Everyone knows this is my breakfast spot.
If they missed the profile in New York Magazine, they couldn't miss my detail out front.
Sure.
Listen, uh, when you're done, I wonder if I could trouble you on the small matter of a carry permit - for a client of mine.
- Chuck you weren't a real lawman back when you were a lawman.
I'm gonna fucking do for you now? Well, perhaps I could do for you.
There must be something that I What you're asking for is a key to the city, and I'm not gonna hand it to you.
Now, will you excuse us? [Fun Lovin' Criminals' "King of New York".]
You want a table, Mr.
Rhoades? Save your fine sable for someone whose fortunes warrant it.
Wendy, I know what Commissioner Sansome needs.
Won't be easy to get.
Gonna have to pay Peter to pay Paul to pay George, Ringo and probably John, too.
But at least I have a road map.
[Wendy.]
First stop? E.
A.
T.
To see Eisen.
Of course.
Not like him.
No.
The night work never keeps him from the morning work I'm gonna call him.
Again.
[dramatic music.]
Wags, this is the seventh time I've tried you.
Where the fuck are you at? Will you wake the fuck up and call me? Really not like him.
Let's go wake his ass up.
[Fun Lovin' Criminals' "King of New York".]
He's losing his grip, man, like Pesci, he'd flip If you talk to his brother Said he always planned this trip He wasn't okeydokey running around like Don Quixote Trying to free a man he didn't even know B He had the roots, and he bought the suits Mr.
Eisen, sir.
I might have a coffee with you, if invited.
Thank you.
[sighs.]
What in this world do you need? Balls the size of Jupiter and a tight wet slot to jam 'em into.
[laughs.]
The usual.
But, uh, out of my purview.
No, really: what do you need? What the fuck is this? Who sits down with that bullshit? Fuck you.
Sure.
It's the old joke about the congressman, right? Young girl from his district comes up to him.
Says she wants to drop to her knees, take care of his business, and bring him a fresh made martini after.
Politician looks at her and says: Hmm, what's in it for me? No, really.
Fuck you.
When you were U.
S.
Attorney, there were plenty of favors I could have used.
Where were you then? That's what this morning brings: Me changing that.
Look, I could beat about the bush.
But who's that serving? I may not still be U.
S.
Attorney still plenty wired in this town.
Try me out.
Let me flip it first, so I know what I'm setting myself up for.
What do you fucking need? An introduction to Ambassador Suarez.
I hear you're close to him.
Yeah.
Uh, look.
I'm not a transactional man by nature No.
Sure.
Of course.
Absolutely.
But this isn't I could intro you, - but not right now.
- Mm.
With all the shit going on with his stepson, the Ambassador isn't interested in meeting people who are looking for favors.
If I put you with him, then, yeah, I'd have to get something in return.
Okay, then let me suggest a favor I can do for you, since you won't volunteer one.
I have a Park-Anywhere Permit.
Say the word, and it's yours.
I've got a Mayor's Office Pass.
Had one since Bloomberg's first term.
Thanks anyway.
Well, there must be something that would make it worthwhile.
Ahhh, there's one thing, but really not in your, uh, "purview.
" Try me.
I need tickets to the Central Synagogue children's Hanukkah service.
Done.
How many? In the main room.
Not in the overflow.
I want to sit with my daughter, but my ex's brother is the president of the board.
He's keeping me out.
You get that done for me, and I'll put you with the Ambassador.
Lemme work.
Back in the borough, the cops are acting thorough They raided Frankie's room That's when they saw his bureau Upon it was a note with a rhyme that was dope About how he was breaking John out And how he couldn't cope It said, "I don't fly coach, never save the roach The King of New York, the King of New York" I said, "I don't fly coach, never save the roach The King of New York, the King of New York" I said I never fly coach Say hello to everyone.
- Yeah.
- Whoa, whoa! The most vaunted Donny left in the city.
Very funny, Chuck.
Uh, you know Kenny D.
, right? Oh, yes.
Well, anyone who flies knows that Mr.
Dichter can change the tenor of your trip in a moment's.
Fleet is always available for you, Chuck.
- Nice to see you.
- Call me.
Yes.
What's up, Chuck? [sighs.]
Well, I find myself in need of the proverbial lifetime pass to the Polo Grounds.
And I'm prepared to give you Cleopatra on a plate for it.
I need your ducats to the children's Hanukkah service at Central.
Main room, not overflow.
Um, you're gonna be out of town, yeah? I'm gonna be skiing, but do you have any idea what I can get for those tickets, man? How about for a Park-Anywhere Permit? Got one right here and it's yours.
Already got one for each of my cars.
Well, uh, there must be something you need.
First tracks, Deer Valley.
Now, that's private access to the mountain, - half hour before it opens - Mm-hmm.
- ultimate, ultimate privilege.
- Mm.
There's only five, and they're all gone.
How many days do you need? Days? Entire season.
I get you that You got your tickets.
Lemme work [Fun Lovin' Criminals' "King of New York".]
[dramatic music.]
[Farhad.]
So now, you show up in person.
Good to see you, Mr.
Axelrod.
Farhad.
Where's my man, where's Wags? You don't know? I wouldn't be standing here if I did.
[dramatic music.]
What happened last night? [Wags grunts.]
The party continued back here to the lounge on the roof.
Unfortunately, the Sheik was occupied and they didn't get to speak.
I retired after 3:00.
I'm not sure when Mr.
Wagner left.
Perhaps he overindulged? I want to see for myself.
All right.
[conversing in Arabic.]
He says the party ended around 4:30 and the remaining guests left.
Left this area or the building? [conversing in Arabic.]
He's not sure.
He stayed here and they left.
The women.
And Mr.
Wagner.
He assumed they exited.
Are there any overnight quarters here? No.
What makes you think he's here? His cell pinged here as his last location.
This is Mr.
Wagner's.
He dropped it.
He'll want it back when you find him.
We want to search the building.
I'm afraid not, Mr.
Axelrod.
You are on our soil.
All decisions of that nature will be handled by the Sheik, through me.
Now, since you're here, the Sheik would like me to go through the terms First I find Wags, then I sit with the guy in the robes.
As your Mr.
Wagner said to me: I speak for that man.
Uh-huh.
Look, put me with the Sheik so we can sort all this out.
Of course.
But you will have to wait, as everything runs on the Sheik's very busy schedule.
[dramatic music.]
Is he fucking in there? It's possible.
We call the cops, the FBI? They get turned away.
Diplomatic immunity.
And it gets very public.
Very messy.
You say goodbye to managing sovereign wealth ever again.
Let me pull security cam footage from nearby buildings, see if he actually left.
Fine.
Fuck.
They're doing this for leverage 'cause they want to be able to dictate terms on the deal.
They put themselves in a good position to do just that.
Yeah.
Well, we need some leverage of our own.
I'm on it.
[Chuck.]
Well, you were right, there he is.
Cheetah's gotta visit the water hole.
Yeah.
He's sure to scatter if I just walk up to him.
After all, I did prosecute the man.
I'll do it.
You are a gentle-lady and a scholar.
Uh-huh.
Oh, uh, offer him my Park-Anywhere Permit if you need to.
[dramatic music.]
Steven Birch.
The face that launched a thousand shorts.
[chuckles.]
What can I do for you? [sighs.]
He said he hurt his knee and his wife prefers the beach to skiing.
Mm-hmm.
You have his first tracks.
[chuckles.]
What'd you trade for them? It was the parking permit, wasn't it? No, Chuck.
Really? Nobody wants this fucking thing.
So, what did you trade? A session.
Isn't that cheating on Axe? I won't give Birch the 'A' stuff.
[chuckles.]
I've got your first tracks, Donny D.
Nice.
Then you, sir, have your children's service tickets.
- Take care, Chuck.
- Take care.
Now, take me to the Ambassador.
- I will and I can.
- Good.
Let's go.
- Soon.
- Fuck soon.
I didn't expect you to put this together so quickly.
I'm not the actual guy to make the actual introduction, but I can introduce you to a guy who can.
Why don't you call that guy? Right now.
[dramatic music.]
[bird squawking.]
You see, falcons mate for life.
As humans do sometimes.
They're much more consistent than we are.
Because they know who they are.
The males go out and hunt and bring back food.
And the females stay in the nest, defending it, tending to the young.
As nature dictates.
Yes, that kind of bifurcation of roles makes sense, when you're dealing with a single meal at a time.
But when the hunt will provide for generations, one would do well to go with whoever can get the best kill.
[dramatic music.]
I like the logic and strength of this argument.
Come.
Let us take some tea with the Sheik.
Go.
Security footage from neighboring buildings says Wags never left.
Motherfuckers.
What could they be doing to him? Unclear.
Have they got him chained up? Would they torture him, rendition him back to their country? Chemicals more likely Pentathol, perhaps, other sedatives, to encourage docility, but, again, unclear.
Have we discovered any leverage? I have something you can play in the room.
The kind of scandal that scares the shit out of even the most powerful people in the Middle East.
[dramatic music.]
Good.
This may be enough to free Wags, and to keep the sovereign money out of Taylor's hands.
If I can get in the fucking room.
If I don't hear that I've got a meeting by day's end, fuck Axe Capital.
I'm gonna call the State Department.
We blow this whole thing up.
[dramatic music.]
Nacho, this is Chuck.
He needs to meet the Ambassador.
Oh, yeah? Well, Ambassador Suarez isn't taking any meetings right now.
Not until this bullshit with his stepson is fixed.
[sighs.]
Man, this fucking city, it nibbles away at you like fucking piranhas until there's nothing left.
Mm.
They put a Citi Bike rack on my fucking street, took up all the legal spots.
I was just talking to my lawyer who's dealing with three thousand dollars worth of fucking parking tickets for me.
[upbeat music.]
Tell me this: can you make tickets go away? You put me with the Ambassador, I think I can do you one better.
You'll never get a parking ticket again.
[Axe.]
Yeah.
[Chuck.]
Robert Axelrod, Atlas of the finance world.
Charles Rhoades, Esquire.
There's a, uh, situation.
That new charter school that's going into Tribeca.
It's become central in some contract I just made with a guy.
And you saw I was on the board of that school.
And I wondered what it might take to move that school to a different spot, a few blocks away.
It'd take plenty but who cares? If it matters to you, I can do it.
[Axe.]
Meet with my man Sean Ayles.
- He'll take it from there.
- Thank you.
You'll have fun with Ayles.
He's exactly the opposite of what he seems.
Who isn't these days? [cellphone vibrating.]
I gotta go.
- Yeah? - [Farhad.]
It's Farhad.
You have your meeting with the Sheik in one hour.
I'll be there.
[dramatic music.]
Hall, I've got the meeting [Fun Lovin' Criminals' "King of New York".]
I believe our target is sipping a mojito dead ahead.
[Chuck.]
Uh-huh.
I believe you are correct.
Two sticks of dynamite, a 38 Snub He went to see the Don without an invitation Ambassador Suarez.
Yes.
I understand you're having a problem with your stepson.
I am having problems with the puritanical mores - and laws in this provincial country.
- Mm.
A fight for the soul of our nation is indeed under way.
Mm.
My stepson merely got started with his girlfriend when she was a bit too young.
- Mm-hmm.
- She was 16, he was 20.
- Ah.
- Her parents, fucking crazy people, went to the police and he had to register as a sex offender And with the charter school opening on his block, he now has to move.
In order to stay beyond the buffer zone.
It's making my wife miserable.
I am here to alleviate her symptoms.
- Yeah.
- Mr.
Ayles The thing is, and a propitious - thing it is indeed - [Chuck.]
Mm.
I represent a board member, and his message to you is that that school does not have to go there.
As simple as that? Oh, nearly so, sir.
Nearly so.
And what do you want from me, my newfound friends? [dramatic music.]
The final authority on this is behind that door.
The Sheik is in there? [sighs.]
Well, that's got to feel like a surprise party of one.
First the shock and then that warm feeling of seeing how far out of the way people have gone for you.
Something like that, yes.
[Grigor.]
Good! It's true, I am not the Sheik.
But in some ways, I am.
Our powers.
Our reach, is similar.
His English is better.
Yeah, sure.
He went to your schools.
I had to pick it up watching the Happy Days and Mike Wallace.
Though my favorite was Rollerball.
The original.
You decided that you weren't gonna be one of the players.
Instead one of the men above, controlling them.
Playing looked like a gas.
Until the spikes came out.
I prefer to watch the collisions.
Set in motion the factors that cause them.
Your man, Wags, could have avoided his.
But he mentioned Taylor's fund.
And somehow word got back to you.
Not somehow.
I have a very deep relationship with the Royal Family.
I leave various oil markets open to them, and they allow my investments to thrive.
In hedge funds such as Taylor's.
We look out for each other's interests.
As I had hoped you and I would.
I hoped for that as well.
But you didn't act like it.
Instead, you tried to stop Taylor from getting the additional capital to allow their firm to grow, make bigger plays.
This affects me.
Wasn't my intention to cause you harm.
Intentions don't matter at all to me.
I reward actions.
And I punish them, too.
As I know you do, Axe, in your slightly smaller section of the world.
You should know that Wags was only following orders.
- My orders.
- Don't fret.
Your man will be waiting for you in your car.
He's going to have a hell of a headache for a few days.
But it will wear off.
I do this for you as a favor for old times' sake.
This is what I'm telling you.
- Thank you.
- No sweat, Fonzie.
Now: please stop fucking with Taylor Mason.
As a matter of fact, by the time you get back to your luxurious penthouse, forget all about them.
But be sure you don't forget about me.
[dramatic music.]
[door opens.]
[door closes.]
[door opens.]
Hey! Hey.
You okay, man? I don't know what's coursing through my body.
GHB, ketamine.
Whoof.
I mean, everything was going great.
Then they turned on me like Sharon Stone did in Total Recall.
Well, you do look a little like Kuato.
Hmm.
Hey.
They took you to get to me.
I'm sorry you got caught up in it.
The Sheik never has to say sorry.
[taps seat.]
[Count Basie and Joe Williams' "Smack Dab in the Middle".]
Pick me a town in any clime Where people like a rockin' time And stay awake Ah, working man's bar.
Oh, when I saw you here I figured it was Eagle Scout night.
Smack dab in the middle of it Smack dab in the middle of it Rhoades.
You keep popping up like a turd remnant that won't flush.
You've got a problem with your ace pitcher in the Police Benevolent Little League playoffs.
I want ten Cadillacs and a diamond mill I overheard your conversation at Barney Greengrass.
I wanna ten-room house And, so? The cut off is fucking arbitrary, the kid is five-and-a-half months too old.
This one's a few months too young, that one's a few months too old.
These things can all balance out.
What if told you your pitcher can be any age you need him to be? The fuck you say? Well, let me rock and roll That one has been destroyed.
Fill this out, make a copy, and give me back the original to be filed.
[Chuck.]
Blank Dominican birth certificate.
Kid can pitch Little League for the next five years if you want.
How? I want to know about splash back.
None at all.
Full sneeze shield protection.
High-level diplomat.
Never heard your name or a 'why.
' Only knew he owed me a favor.
Yeah.
As I do now.
You got that carry permit you were looking for.
Thank you.
Let this be a beginning and not an ending.
[cellphone buzzes.]
I got your text.
Yeah.
Long meeting.
Eight hours.
But the money is coming on board.
It was brave that you did what you had to do to get it.
Whatever it takes.
Still not used to having enemies.
[Hammon.]
It's a sign of your stature.
[Hammon.]
Get used to it.
Axe hired Danzig.
The head hunter's been compromised.
- Fire her.
- [Hammon.]
Already done.
What other measures can we take? We need to hire a Counter Intel specialist.
Do it I'm sorry to wake you.
It's okay, what else was I doing? Do you have it yet? I could just walk away, just run Axe Cap, forget all about Taylor, just like Grigor told me.
Might even be the 'mature' thing.
Fuck mature.
I'm overmatched.
For the first time since I can remember.
He's richer than me.
And he's willing to do shit I am not.
And he's connected to all those other people wanting to do the same shit for him.
You walking away? You're not walking away.
[Wags.]
Because, yeah, he's a Russian Oligarch.
But you, mon frère, are a motherfucking Oligarch, too.
An American Oligarch.
You will not relent.
Taylor must pay.
Well, we have to do it without Grigor getting a whiff of us.
Any losses Taylor Mason Capital has will seem suspect.
The guy's as mercurial as Sinatra with a cold.
Sooner than later, he's gonna pull his money from Taylor, you know.
Then he won't care.
Just wait it out.
You said it, Wags.
We make him mercurial.
[Axe.]
Entice him to take his money elsewhere.
Not 'cause he's getting beaten up, but because nothing's happening.
He's not losing money, but he's not making money either.
We don't put out this fire by pouring water on it.
But by sucking oxygen out of the room.
Slowly.
Invisibly.
Completely.
[dramatic music.]
[sighs.]
I'm sending my fucking doctor over.
First thing tomorrow.
Whatever you say, Papa [dramatic music.]
I haven't been this banged up for quite a while.
You hold it well.
I don't know why I should be surprised by that, but I am.
Used to be like this five nights a week for me back when I was a line pross.
Oh, shit.
I just realized where we are.
- You remember that night? - Sure.
The night Gotti hit Castellano.
They got his driver Tommy Bilotti too.
- Yeah.
- Boom, boom, boom.
I was a beat cop back then, fresh out of the Academy.
You? Home from school for Christmas.
[both chuckle.]
There was a way order used to be maintained back then.
On both sides of the damn street.
Back when New York worked.
Handshakes and gentlemen's agreements that could be counted on.
That order got shot to shit that night.
Fuckin' A.
Some of us are still old school, though, right? All the way Remember the pictures of Castellano? Oh.
Guy thought he was heading for a beautiful steak, right? Barely gets out the car, boom.
- [groans.]
- [both laugh.]
Right? His mouth's all open.
[grunts.]
- [both laugh.]
- [Chuck.]
Oh, my God.
[Chuck laughs.]
Some fucking night that was, huh? [Chuck.]
You know, I kind of feel bad for the old guy, scumbag that he was.
Blindsided like that.
But I guess that's New York for ya, right? Boss one minute, in the gutter the next.
Yeah.
The best you can hope for is one last look at the stars before you go.
[Fun Lovin' Criminals' "King of New York".]
La-di da-di, free John Gotti La-di da-di, la-di La-di da-di, free John Gotti The King of New York, man, the King of New York La-di da-di, free John Gotti La-di da-di, la-di La-di da-di, free John Gotti The King of New York, man, the King of New York The King of New York The King of New York The King of New York The King, the King, the King of New York The King of New York The King of New York The King, the King, the King of New York
Previously on Billions The case you'll be bringing is: obstruction of justice.
Against the Attorney General.
We need the icebreaker now.
We need Grigor Andolov.
[Taylor.]
International criminals are unstable bedrock for a cap raise.
You don't think taking his money was at least worth a discussion? There was a discussion.
He said I was off the raise team.
[Foley.]
This is an object lesson.
It's time to put away childish enthusiasms.
I don't even know that it's wrong for him to do what he's doing [Danzig.]
only that I don't like how it makes me feel.
Boss Mick Danzig just quit.
- [Chuck.]
Jack.
- No.
Yes, Jack.
[Chuck.]
I know that you have built a good chunk [Chuck.]
of your fortune on cheap steel deals.
It's not only illegal, it's fucking dangerous.
But if you imagine this is the first time I've ever had to wrestle with my shoulders near the mat, you're gonna learn something very different.
We.
Fucking.
Did it! Six billion dollars committed.
[Wags.]
I've been making follow-up calls to book [Wags.]
the money that was pledged at the raise.
I'm having problems locking it in.
[Milyutin.]
It looks like you're ready to get into business.
[Taylor.]
I need a meeting with your boss, Grigor Andolov.
I will pull all my money, and I will give it to Taylor.
[Taylor.]
A new kind of organization.
And you can make more than you do now.
With a partnership stake.
You've stolen from me.
And you've betrayed me.
- Alvin? - [Epstein.]
We got him.
[Epstein.]
It worked.
I can play you the tape.
[Jock.]
The fellas told me what you had in store for me.
You, Charles Rhoades Junior, are relieved of duty.
On power of the President, you are fired! Get the fuck out of here.
- 'lo, Bob.
- Charles.
So, you know how you're gonna go after Jock? Some ideas floating around my head.
[Chuck.]
And, uh, Taylor? Yeah.
Got a plan that's starting to form.
[dramatic music.]
Don't, don't, don't, don't Eeny weeny, teeny weeny Shriveled Don't, don't, don't want a dick [sniffs.]
[laughs.]
Don't want, don't want no short dick Eeny weeny, teeny weeny - Teeny little short dick man - Excuse me.
Don't want, don't want no short dick man What in the world is that fucking thing? You bopping over to the Taylor Mason party after this? So you have good intel.
That we met with Ms.
Mason.
If that's what you want to call them.
We need to be certain no money is going to ex-employees of Axe Capital Ms.
Mason, specifically, if you want us to continue jacking up your returns.
One moment.
Eeny weeny, teeny weeny Shriveled little short dick man Don't want, don't want, don't want, don't want Eeny weeny, teeny weeny Shriveled little short dick man Don't, don't want, don't want, don't want Absolutely.
Yeah.
Teeny weeny, teeny little short dick Teeny weeny, teeny little short dick man Don't, don't, don't want, don't want no short dick man This conversation should continue with the Sheik back at the Embassy.
He's having his own after-party.
Don't want, don't want, don't want, don't want Eeny weeny, teeny weeny Teeny little short dick Eeny weeny, teeny weeny, shriveled little short [dramatic music.]
[indistinct conversations.]
Where's the Sheik? We can have more fun without him.
Come on.
I'd love that.
[laughs.]
[dramatic music.]
[grunts.]
[Dokter Worst's "Dokter Worst".]
If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man Win some, lose some, it's all the same to me The pleasure is to play Makes no difference what you say Good morning, boss.
Hey, Chef Ryan.
I got up early.
Just put that coffee in a go-cup and get the car brought around.
Man like you should eat something.
So you have fuel to burn.
Do I look like I need to fan the fire? The new, beefed up non-competes.
Ready to be signed.
They better be iron fucking clad.
Believe me, they're tighter than AC/DC in '78.
Then let 'em fly.
I feel fine Hmm I feel fine Ooh I feel fine 'Course I do I feel fine Because there is something about King Jesus Ah.
Man that preacher can sing.
Hmm? Al Green! The Reverend.
But this is before that.
Now, this is The Belle Album.
It's considered by many to be the long player he made as an apology and entreaty to Jesus Christ for the life of the flesh he had been living before he joined the ministry.
Is that so? Indubitably.
Hmm.
Just two years earlier, he was scalded when his girlfriend threw a boiling pot of hot grits over him in the midst of a fight.
She felt so bad after, that she retreated into the bedroom, picked up his handgun his handgun and shot herself.
Dead.
Tragic.
Mm.
My guess? Green never forgave himself for having that pistol in the house.
This bullshit is you telling me you can't get me a gun permit.
[chuckles.]
No, sir! It is no small thing to do, but if that's what's necessary, I can make it happen.
No, I tell you the story as a way to communicate that you shouldn't want a gun permit.
I don't want one.
I need one.
I'm high profile, I own horses, I carry cash to and from the track, to the garage and back.
My wife, look, the kid loves jewelry, I need to know that we can move freely and safely.
Mr.
Brogan, do not get a permit to carry a handgun.
You asked for my counsel, that's my counsel.
No.
I'm not here for your counsel.
You're supposed to be a power broker now, right? So broker some power.
Tap your relationship with the Police Commissioner.
Unless, when they canned your ass, you lost all your pull.
- Is that what this is? - [chuckles.]
Please.
My favor bank is chock-full.
How's this: I happen to have in my possession, a Park-Anywhere Permit direct from the Mayor's Office.
You can pull right up wherever you're going, nice and safe, no one will ticket your car.
You park on the sidewalk and cops will have to walk around it.
Cops already walk around my car.
I have an ex-cop driving it.
I know a carry permit is almost impossible in New York.
Yes.
Toughest in the country.
Only ex-cops and ex-feds gain concealed carry permits - in New York City - And guys hooked up on high.
Which is what I figured you were.
But now it's clear, you're not.
[sighs.]
[dramatic music.]
[door opens.]
Teva's about to announce, you poised, Dollar Bill? Aye, Captain.
If América Móvil gets whacked, the peso goes with it, Ev I'm Everready.
Personal foul on the play: Using your own nickname.
Hey, Rudy, where are you landing on Rio? I'm seeing weakness in Australian ore, so [chuckles.]
You're the only weakness I'm seeing.
[Rudy.]
Wait, what? Over in the kitchen before the open you said they were expanding their rail capacity.
- Yeah.
- So I thought they must be expanding their CapEx and would be down for a quarter or two That was your mistake: thinking.
Hey, what's the rumpus? - I was - Nothing.
I want you two in sync like incestuous ice dancers.
My thong's already riding up my crack, I don't need you up there too, Axe.
Oh, that's exactly where I am.
That goes for all of you.
So give, Bonnie.
Fine.
They're expecting shipments of 360 million tons.
The information is fucking out there.
[dramatic music.]
Do you know why Ovi scores so much? 'Cause Backstrom shares the puck.
Yeah, but when he does, Ovi goes bardown.
This lame loses the puck between his legs, or airmails it into the goddamn glass.
So I fire him, and he never fucks up again - Right, Rudy? - [Rudy.]
That's right, Axe! And you signed your non-compete, didn't you? [Rudy.]
Of course! Good.
Rudy, you're fired.
For, for misreading Bonnie's information? That and for fraternizing.
With our sworn fucking enemies.
Taylor Mason Capital picnic? I accepted that invitation a long time ago before.
- No one talked shop - Everyone else here declined.
Or didn't even fucking respond.
Public execution.
Power move.
Whose bits aren't hard, huh? Gross.
This is a new day for Axe Cap, so we will all share our information or we won't be a part of it.
Get with it, or get fucked, people.
- So you're firing me too? - No, he fired you.
I'm seconding it.
Go.
We now live in a universe split down the middle.
You got to pick sides.
If you're not on mine, you're gone.
That was bracing.
I'm headed off to the land of milk and honey.
Or their embassy, at least.
You sure you don't want to come along and help me deal with the sovereign wealth fund? This is my sovereign wealth fund.
You really sure you want me to deal with the royals? Competition is probably sending their top dog.
Oh, believe me, they're not sitting down with Taylor.
They would never see someone like them.
And the sovereign money is pledged to us already.
This is just about setting terms.
But that's the hard part.
Nobody's paying full freight anymore.
Wags, it's bad enough that we had to go 2 and 20.
We gotta make our stand there.
We might as well be running a mutual fund.
You go deliver this message and get us our terms.
- Jawohl, kommandant.
- And cut that shit out.
Whatever you say, amigo.
I, Bryan James Flynn Connerty, do solemnly swear [Judge Wailand.]
That I will support and defend [Judge Wailand.]
the Constitution of the United States that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.
against all enemies foreign and domestic.
Our boy looks good up there, doesn't he? Like he was born to it.
No one's born to it, Ms.
Sacker, not even you.
He had to kill for it.
It's what makes it worth something.
As you will likely find out one day So help me God.
So help me God.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you, Your Honor.
[applause.]
Thank you so much, Your Honor.
Thank you.
[sighs.]
You finally made it.
Yeah.
Long time coming.
First order of business? Something I've been giving a lot of thought to.
- I want to go after - Mr.
U.
S.
Attorney, I would love to borrow you for a New York minute.
Mr.
Attorney General.
I just want to say thank Yeah, faith bestowed.
New beginnings.
Debts of gratitude.
Fresh opportunities.
All those wonderful things.
Let's just consider that covered, shall we? - Okay.
- Move on to sloppy inheritances.
Cleaning up messes that came before.
We're talking about Chuck? We are.
We get one chance to firewall ourself off from his tenure, and this is how we're gonna do it You can't get Brogan a gun permit? [Senior.]
Pathetic.
Uh, we live in New York City, Dad, not Beaumont, Texas.
Gun permits are quite hard to come by.
I sent that man in to you because he is important [Senior.]
in the very city in which we live.
And state.
With all the benefactors you will need.
- You sent him to me? Hmm? - Who the fuck else? You need to go on the offensive.
Because everyone else is lining up against you.
Tell him, Ira.
- Hello, buddy.
- Your father is correct.
Most of your major cases are being put under review by SDNY, by Connerty, for any kind of wrongdoing.
Oh, those fuckers.
All my good work undone.
Hmm? Legacy trashed.
All my accomplishments wiped out as though I were never there.
Yeah, that'll happen.
But it's worse than that.
They're digging for misconduct, wrongful prosecutions, politically motivated decision-making, conflict of interest They'll try to abandon convictions.
- Your name will be ruined.
- [Senior.]
His name?! That's my name he's wearing.
And it will not be besmirched.
- I don't think we can stop - Oyez, oyez, Sonny! They are trying to hang you from the yardarm.
And you have not claimed the high ground from where you can repel the siege.
If you were in a position of influence, - if you had a power base - [Senior.]
Yes.
Then you could take vengeance on them, on Connerty and Jeffcoat and the rest, make them defend instead of attack.
All I want is vengeance, and it will be had.
And we all know what I need to do it.
A perch.
And Epstein's vacated New York Attorney General's seat is there for me.
And maybe I could win it.
But the moment I poke my head up, Jack Foley will come after me.
Release what he has on me.
Or threaten to, as I'm no longer in a position to prosecute him.
I would slap your face and tell you to act like a man if I didn't think it'd turn you on.
It wouldn't, Dad.
Not from you.
Not how it works.
Good lord.
Well, regardless.
We could give what you have to a sympathetic prosecutor.
Or at the right time, I will take care of Foley.
But you get yourself in goddamn position.
Get off your ass and rebuild your influence.
Because you're gonna need it.
Start by getting that goddamn gun permit.
- I don't think I can, Dad.
- You can and you will.
The very difficulty of it is why you must.
[dramatic music.]
Make the rounds, Sonny.
Like Billy Phelan did in his city.
You know exactly where all the people are who can help you.
Use them the way a bathhouse piano player used poppers to give you that electric shock of power just when you need it most.
Charles, thinking about your past, really freaks me out.
What a glorious thing it was.
[dramatic music.]
[Taylor.]
What I remember.
What made me want to sit with you is: you weren't afraid to lead with your heart while absolutely smashing your book.
I'm here because of what I remember: that you were the smartest person I ever worked with.
But then I almost didn't come in today.
Look, I get we're in a game that requires us to win and that means we have to shut our minds to the fact that other professionals will lose And you're fine with that as long as the loser is on par with you, but when, say it's a Yeah.
I got tired of beating up on the defenseless.
Like we taught 'em at Annapolis: it's better than being the defenseless.
That's true.
And I love that, actually.
But there are things they were comfortable with at Axe Cap that we will never do here.
I made sure of that before I signed on.
It's a big part of why I asked Sara to become COO.
Her reputation, first as Chief of Staff for the Supe, - then in Silicon Valley - Taylor, you led the charge on how to wring cash from Sandicot.
Yes.
That's true.
Because that's what Axe Cap does to a person.
Don't I know it.
Axe and Wags, even Wendy, are like the United Citizen Federation.
They turned us all into Starship Troopers, sent us to Klendathu and some of us got our brains eaten.
And it wasn't until the end of our time in that we realized: we were the bad guys all along.
[dramatic music.]
It's not like that here.
We will do it the right way this time, man.
You know how loyal I was to Axe.
This is why I left him to come here.
And why you should be here, too.
If I signed on, when would you be looking for me to start? We need folks right fucking now.
We're desperate.
Next week or two.
- Mafee.
- I know.
Never let anyone outside of the family know what you're thinking.
It's not enough to quote it.
You need to live it.
Why didn't Danzig commit in the room? Maybe going forward, be a little less scary? I thought I was inviting.
I'm scary? - Yes.
- Yes.
Fucking wimps.
Why is Mick Danzig the best candidate that we've seen? Where are the applied math wizards, the financial engineers? Do I have to go to an MIT job fair? I'm trying.
Wall Street's had some of the luster knocked off So buff it back up and close Danzig.
Then find me people with no fear.
Like Sara.
[door opens, closes.]
It's time for you to suit up for the meeting.
I'll step out, let you put it on.
I find that I don't want to.
It's wrong that I have to.
Yeah.
It is.
When you poached me, you said: whatever it takes.
You said it was my job to remind you of that, so strap it the fuck on.
[door closes.]
[dramatic music.]
[Axe.]
About personnel.
We've succeeded in keeping the best applicants away.
[dramatic music.]
[Wendy.]
I took care of the head hunter.
It's frustrating Taylor.
But they did bring in Mick Danzig.
- Want to hire him.
- Well, scoop him up.
Overpay him.
You want Danzig that much? What I want that much is for Taylor to have nothing.
With that fucking Russki backing them, my options are limited.
So these guys are gonna be a permanent fixture? Till I find a way to get Grigor out of here.
[dramatic music.]
Mr.
Wagner, no one enjoys your company more than I do Oh.
I can supply you with the names of a couple gals who might give you a run for your money on that.
But I appreciate the sentiment However, the Sheik would prefer, and frankly is in the habit, of sitting with the decision maker.
With Mr.
Axelrod.
Think of me as that decision maker.
I speak for him.
Regardless, the Sheik will not see the value in paying above market.
- 2 and 20 is standard.
- [Farhad.]
Was standard.
Not for an investment the size of ours.
It doesn't matter if it's as swole as Dirk Diggler on his first night with Rollergirl.
[Wags.]
This is one of those rare cases where size doesn't actually matter.
You know how the price of admission for women into your fine country is that they cover their tatas and donut? [Wags.]
Well, our version of that is 2 and 20.
We won't stone you if you refuse, but we will kick you out of our fund.
Are you comparing your fee structure, by way of several vulgarisms, to our religion? To Bobby Axelrod, fees are religion and money is his God.
This makes him the perfect shepherd for you in the material world.
And at least when you pray to his God, you get another fucking Bentley out of it.
Look, we both know in seven to 20 years when everything runs electric you'll all be back to herding goats over there, so you might want to get me in front of your boss Sadly, that will never happen if 2 and 20 is your sticking point.
- Now, if you're willing to c - [Wags.]
Don't even fucking think of dictating the fees, Farhad.
[Farhad.]
This is getting heated, which, between friends, is not right.
Now, let's all cool off, pick this up tomorrow.
[Farhad.]
In the meanwhile, I am hopeful that in the spirit of friendship, our nighttime plans remain on.
On like Chaka Khan Chaka Khan.
Chaka Khan.
Chaka Khan, let me rock ya, let me rock ya, Chaka Khan.
Let me rock ya, that's all I wanna do.
[dramatic music.]
[Wags.]
Taylor fucking Mason I'm telling you.
But gorgeous.
Like Kate Jackson hot.
- You sure? - Pretty fucking sure.
I looked right into her their eyes.
[Wendy.]
It'd be something of a necessity dealing with a sovereign wealth fund.
Taylor Mason, willing to compromise their steely fucking principles to get the loot.
Well, I admire it.
But I'm gonna stop it.
This could only be the introductory meeting.
No fucking way they got to the Sheik in the first round.
We can never let Taylor get to the Sheik.
Easy, big fella.
They're in my head all the time.
First I miss the coup.
Then the leader of the coup thinks they're sneaking in here and taking the sovereign funds meant for me.
How you doing with the sovereign? Maybe we should scoop up everything they're looking to invest, shut out Mason Capital.
Yeah.
That's your final term.
No Taylor.
I haven't closed yet.
They didn't react well to the idea of us keeping to our fee level.
But we're going clubbing tonight, which you know is my métier.
So we'll see what I can do.
I'm heading out.
I'm gonna trade out this funeral attire for The all black uniform of the middle-aged warrior? - Exactly.
- I'll stand by.
Call me when you need reinforcements.
Call me when it's over.
Just fucking call me.
Copy, fratello mio.
[slow rock music.]
You ever just not want a day to start? No.
And neither do you.
Maybe I'm going about this wrong.
Oliver Dake is teaching law You are not Oliver fucking Dake.
And you don't want to be.
If word gets out that you can't get a VIP a gun permit, no matter how hard it is to do, the story will be 'Chuck Rhoades is over.
' Then, sure, go teach.
[sighs.]
Right in the breadbasket.
You know how to do this.
Like a honeybee, take what you pick up here, you drop it there, just make sure at the end of the day, you're the one who ends up with all the nectar.
Check in with me later.
I'm ready to help.
[Fun Lovin' Criminals' "King of New York".]
Frankie was a mook from the block we used to live on The wanna be the gangster The wanna be the dapper Don, Don John [Sansome.]
The kid's got H-He's lights out, okay? He's got a 12-6 curveball, boom, drops right off the table.
They're gonna protest, Chief.
Gotta go with him, he's our best chance to win.
[Ortiz.]
He's too old.
They're not gonna let our kid on the mound Commissioner Sansome, imagine seeing you here this fine morning.
Former U.
S.
Attorney Rhoades.
[chuckles.]
Everyone knows this is my breakfast spot.
If they missed the profile in New York Magazine, they couldn't miss my detail out front.
Sure.
Listen, uh, when you're done, I wonder if I could trouble you on the small matter of a carry permit - for a client of mine.
- Chuck you weren't a real lawman back when you were a lawman.
I'm gonna fucking do for you now? Well, perhaps I could do for you.
There must be something that I What you're asking for is a key to the city, and I'm not gonna hand it to you.
Now, will you excuse us? [Fun Lovin' Criminals' "King of New York".]
You want a table, Mr.
Rhoades? Save your fine sable for someone whose fortunes warrant it.
Wendy, I know what Commissioner Sansome needs.
Won't be easy to get.
Gonna have to pay Peter to pay Paul to pay George, Ringo and probably John, too.
But at least I have a road map.
[Wendy.]
First stop? E.
A.
T.
To see Eisen.
Of course.
Not like him.
No.
The night work never keeps him from the morning work I'm gonna call him.
Again.
[dramatic music.]
Wags, this is the seventh time I've tried you.
Where the fuck are you at? Will you wake the fuck up and call me? Really not like him.
Let's go wake his ass up.
[Fun Lovin' Criminals' "King of New York".]
He's losing his grip, man, like Pesci, he'd flip If you talk to his brother Said he always planned this trip He wasn't okeydokey running around like Don Quixote Trying to free a man he didn't even know B He had the roots, and he bought the suits Mr.
Eisen, sir.
I might have a coffee with you, if invited.
Thank you.
[sighs.]
What in this world do you need? Balls the size of Jupiter and a tight wet slot to jam 'em into.
[laughs.]
The usual.
But, uh, out of my purview.
No, really: what do you need? What the fuck is this? Who sits down with that bullshit? Fuck you.
Sure.
It's the old joke about the congressman, right? Young girl from his district comes up to him.
Says she wants to drop to her knees, take care of his business, and bring him a fresh made martini after.
Politician looks at her and says: Hmm, what's in it for me? No, really.
Fuck you.
When you were U.
S.
Attorney, there were plenty of favors I could have used.
Where were you then? That's what this morning brings: Me changing that.
Look, I could beat about the bush.
But who's that serving? I may not still be U.
S.
Attorney still plenty wired in this town.
Try me out.
Let me flip it first, so I know what I'm setting myself up for.
What do you fucking need? An introduction to Ambassador Suarez.
I hear you're close to him.
Yeah.
Uh, look.
I'm not a transactional man by nature No.
Sure.
Of course.
Absolutely.
But this isn't I could intro you, - but not right now.
- Mm.
With all the shit going on with his stepson, the Ambassador isn't interested in meeting people who are looking for favors.
If I put you with him, then, yeah, I'd have to get something in return.
Okay, then let me suggest a favor I can do for you, since you won't volunteer one.
I have a Park-Anywhere Permit.
Say the word, and it's yours.
I've got a Mayor's Office Pass.
Had one since Bloomberg's first term.
Thanks anyway.
Well, there must be something that would make it worthwhile.
Ahhh, there's one thing, but really not in your, uh, "purview.
" Try me.
I need tickets to the Central Synagogue children's Hanukkah service.
Done.
How many? In the main room.
Not in the overflow.
I want to sit with my daughter, but my ex's brother is the president of the board.
He's keeping me out.
You get that done for me, and I'll put you with the Ambassador.
Lemme work.
Back in the borough, the cops are acting thorough They raided Frankie's room That's when they saw his bureau Upon it was a note with a rhyme that was dope About how he was breaking John out And how he couldn't cope It said, "I don't fly coach, never save the roach The King of New York, the King of New York" I said, "I don't fly coach, never save the roach The King of New York, the King of New York" I said I never fly coach Say hello to everyone.
- Yeah.
- Whoa, whoa! The most vaunted Donny left in the city.
Very funny, Chuck.
Uh, you know Kenny D.
, right? Oh, yes.
Well, anyone who flies knows that Mr.
Dichter can change the tenor of your trip in a moment's.
Fleet is always available for you, Chuck.
- Nice to see you.
- Call me.
Yes.
What's up, Chuck? [sighs.]
Well, I find myself in need of the proverbial lifetime pass to the Polo Grounds.
And I'm prepared to give you Cleopatra on a plate for it.
I need your ducats to the children's Hanukkah service at Central.
Main room, not overflow.
Um, you're gonna be out of town, yeah? I'm gonna be skiing, but do you have any idea what I can get for those tickets, man? How about for a Park-Anywhere Permit? Got one right here and it's yours.
Already got one for each of my cars.
Well, uh, there must be something you need.
First tracks, Deer Valley.
Now, that's private access to the mountain, - half hour before it opens - Mm-hmm.
- ultimate, ultimate privilege.
- Mm.
There's only five, and they're all gone.
How many days do you need? Days? Entire season.
I get you that You got your tickets.
Lemme work [Fun Lovin' Criminals' "King of New York".]
[dramatic music.]
[Farhad.]
So now, you show up in person.
Good to see you, Mr.
Axelrod.
Farhad.
Where's my man, where's Wags? You don't know? I wouldn't be standing here if I did.
[dramatic music.]
What happened last night? [Wags grunts.]
The party continued back here to the lounge on the roof.
Unfortunately, the Sheik was occupied and they didn't get to speak.
I retired after 3:00.
I'm not sure when Mr.
Wagner left.
Perhaps he overindulged? I want to see for myself.
All right.
[conversing in Arabic.]
He says the party ended around 4:30 and the remaining guests left.
Left this area or the building? [conversing in Arabic.]
He's not sure.
He stayed here and they left.
The women.
And Mr.
Wagner.
He assumed they exited.
Are there any overnight quarters here? No.
What makes you think he's here? His cell pinged here as his last location.
This is Mr.
Wagner's.
He dropped it.
He'll want it back when you find him.
We want to search the building.
I'm afraid not, Mr.
Axelrod.
You are on our soil.
All decisions of that nature will be handled by the Sheik, through me.
Now, since you're here, the Sheik would like me to go through the terms First I find Wags, then I sit with the guy in the robes.
As your Mr.
Wagner said to me: I speak for that man.
Uh-huh.
Look, put me with the Sheik so we can sort all this out.
Of course.
But you will have to wait, as everything runs on the Sheik's very busy schedule.
[dramatic music.]
Is he fucking in there? It's possible.
We call the cops, the FBI? They get turned away.
Diplomatic immunity.
And it gets very public.
Very messy.
You say goodbye to managing sovereign wealth ever again.
Let me pull security cam footage from nearby buildings, see if he actually left.
Fine.
Fuck.
They're doing this for leverage 'cause they want to be able to dictate terms on the deal.
They put themselves in a good position to do just that.
Yeah.
Well, we need some leverage of our own.
I'm on it.
[Chuck.]
Well, you were right, there he is.
Cheetah's gotta visit the water hole.
Yeah.
He's sure to scatter if I just walk up to him.
After all, I did prosecute the man.
I'll do it.
You are a gentle-lady and a scholar.
Uh-huh.
Oh, uh, offer him my Park-Anywhere Permit if you need to.
[dramatic music.]
Steven Birch.
The face that launched a thousand shorts.
[chuckles.]
What can I do for you? [sighs.]
He said he hurt his knee and his wife prefers the beach to skiing.
Mm-hmm.
You have his first tracks.
[chuckles.]
What'd you trade for them? It was the parking permit, wasn't it? No, Chuck.
Really? Nobody wants this fucking thing.
So, what did you trade? A session.
Isn't that cheating on Axe? I won't give Birch the 'A' stuff.
[chuckles.]
I've got your first tracks, Donny D.
Nice.
Then you, sir, have your children's service tickets.
- Take care, Chuck.
- Take care.
Now, take me to the Ambassador.
- I will and I can.
- Good.
Let's go.
- Soon.
- Fuck soon.
I didn't expect you to put this together so quickly.
I'm not the actual guy to make the actual introduction, but I can introduce you to a guy who can.
Why don't you call that guy? Right now.
[dramatic music.]
[bird squawking.]
You see, falcons mate for life.
As humans do sometimes.
They're much more consistent than we are.
Because they know who they are.
The males go out and hunt and bring back food.
And the females stay in the nest, defending it, tending to the young.
As nature dictates.
Yes, that kind of bifurcation of roles makes sense, when you're dealing with a single meal at a time.
But when the hunt will provide for generations, one would do well to go with whoever can get the best kill.
[dramatic music.]
I like the logic and strength of this argument.
Come.
Let us take some tea with the Sheik.
Go.
Security footage from neighboring buildings says Wags never left.
Motherfuckers.
What could they be doing to him? Unclear.
Have they got him chained up? Would they torture him, rendition him back to their country? Chemicals more likely Pentathol, perhaps, other sedatives, to encourage docility, but, again, unclear.
Have we discovered any leverage? I have something you can play in the room.
The kind of scandal that scares the shit out of even the most powerful people in the Middle East.
[dramatic music.]
Good.
This may be enough to free Wags, and to keep the sovereign money out of Taylor's hands.
If I can get in the fucking room.
If I don't hear that I've got a meeting by day's end, fuck Axe Capital.
I'm gonna call the State Department.
We blow this whole thing up.
[dramatic music.]
Nacho, this is Chuck.
He needs to meet the Ambassador.
Oh, yeah? Well, Ambassador Suarez isn't taking any meetings right now.
Not until this bullshit with his stepson is fixed.
[sighs.]
Man, this fucking city, it nibbles away at you like fucking piranhas until there's nothing left.
Mm.
They put a Citi Bike rack on my fucking street, took up all the legal spots.
I was just talking to my lawyer who's dealing with three thousand dollars worth of fucking parking tickets for me.
[upbeat music.]
Tell me this: can you make tickets go away? You put me with the Ambassador, I think I can do you one better.
You'll never get a parking ticket again.
[Axe.]
Yeah.
[Chuck.]
Robert Axelrod, Atlas of the finance world.
Charles Rhoades, Esquire.
There's a, uh, situation.
That new charter school that's going into Tribeca.
It's become central in some contract I just made with a guy.
And you saw I was on the board of that school.
And I wondered what it might take to move that school to a different spot, a few blocks away.
It'd take plenty but who cares? If it matters to you, I can do it.
[Axe.]
Meet with my man Sean Ayles.
- He'll take it from there.
- Thank you.
You'll have fun with Ayles.
He's exactly the opposite of what he seems.
Who isn't these days? [cellphone vibrating.]
I gotta go.
- Yeah? - [Farhad.]
It's Farhad.
You have your meeting with the Sheik in one hour.
I'll be there.
[dramatic music.]
Hall, I've got the meeting [Fun Lovin' Criminals' "King of New York".]
I believe our target is sipping a mojito dead ahead.
[Chuck.]
Uh-huh.
I believe you are correct.
Two sticks of dynamite, a 38 Snub He went to see the Don without an invitation Ambassador Suarez.
Yes.
I understand you're having a problem with your stepson.
I am having problems with the puritanical mores - and laws in this provincial country.
- Mm.
A fight for the soul of our nation is indeed under way.
Mm.
My stepson merely got started with his girlfriend when she was a bit too young.
- Mm-hmm.
- She was 16, he was 20.
- Ah.
- Her parents, fucking crazy people, went to the police and he had to register as a sex offender And with the charter school opening on his block, he now has to move.
In order to stay beyond the buffer zone.
It's making my wife miserable.
I am here to alleviate her symptoms.
- Yeah.
- Mr.
Ayles The thing is, and a propitious - thing it is indeed - [Chuck.]
Mm.
I represent a board member, and his message to you is that that school does not have to go there.
As simple as that? Oh, nearly so, sir.
Nearly so.
And what do you want from me, my newfound friends? [dramatic music.]
The final authority on this is behind that door.
The Sheik is in there? [sighs.]
Well, that's got to feel like a surprise party of one.
First the shock and then that warm feeling of seeing how far out of the way people have gone for you.
Something like that, yes.
[Grigor.]
Good! It's true, I am not the Sheik.
But in some ways, I am.
Our powers.
Our reach, is similar.
His English is better.
Yeah, sure.
He went to your schools.
I had to pick it up watching the Happy Days and Mike Wallace.
Though my favorite was Rollerball.
The original.
You decided that you weren't gonna be one of the players.
Instead one of the men above, controlling them.
Playing looked like a gas.
Until the spikes came out.
I prefer to watch the collisions.
Set in motion the factors that cause them.
Your man, Wags, could have avoided his.
But he mentioned Taylor's fund.
And somehow word got back to you.
Not somehow.
I have a very deep relationship with the Royal Family.
I leave various oil markets open to them, and they allow my investments to thrive.
In hedge funds such as Taylor's.
We look out for each other's interests.
As I had hoped you and I would.
I hoped for that as well.
But you didn't act like it.
Instead, you tried to stop Taylor from getting the additional capital to allow their firm to grow, make bigger plays.
This affects me.
Wasn't my intention to cause you harm.
Intentions don't matter at all to me.
I reward actions.
And I punish them, too.
As I know you do, Axe, in your slightly smaller section of the world.
You should know that Wags was only following orders.
- My orders.
- Don't fret.
Your man will be waiting for you in your car.
He's going to have a hell of a headache for a few days.
But it will wear off.
I do this for you as a favor for old times' sake.
This is what I'm telling you.
- Thank you.
- No sweat, Fonzie.
Now: please stop fucking with Taylor Mason.
As a matter of fact, by the time you get back to your luxurious penthouse, forget all about them.
But be sure you don't forget about me.
[dramatic music.]
[door opens.]
[door closes.]
[door opens.]
Hey! Hey.
You okay, man? I don't know what's coursing through my body.
GHB, ketamine.
Whoof.
I mean, everything was going great.
Then they turned on me like Sharon Stone did in Total Recall.
Well, you do look a little like Kuato.
Hmm.
Hey.
They took you to get to me.
I'm sorry you got caught up in it.
The Sheik never has to say sorry.
[taps seat.]
[Count Basie and Joe Williams' "Smack Dab in the Middle".]
Pick me a town in any clime Where people like a rockin' time And stay awake Ah, working man's bar.
Oh, when I saw you here I figured it was Eagle Scout night.
Smack dab in the middle of it Smack dab in the middle of it Rhoades.
You keep popping up like a turd remnant that won't flush.
You've got a problem with your ace pitcher in the Police Benevolent Little League playoffs.
I want ten Cadillacs and a diamond mill I overheard your conversation at Barney Greengrass.
I wanna ten-room house And, so? The cut off is fucking arbitrary, the kid is five-and-a-half months too old.
This one's a few months too young, that one's a few months too old.
These things can all balance out.
What if told you your pitcher can be any age you need him to be? The fuck you say? Well, let me rock and roll That one has been destroyed.
Fill this out, make a copy, and give me back the original to be filed.
[Chuck.]
Blank Dominican birth certificate.
Kid can pitch Little League for the next five years if you want.
How? I want to know about splash back.
None at all.
Full sneeze shield protection.
High-level diplomat.
Never heard your name or a 'why.
' Only knew he owed me a favor.
Yeah.
As I do now.
You got that carry permit you were looking for.
Thank you.
Let this be a beginning and not an ending.
[cellphone buzzes.]
I got your text.
Yeah.
Long meeting.
Eight hours.
But the money is coming on board.
It was brave that you did what you had to do to get it.
Whatever it takes.
Still not used to having enemies.
[Hammon.]
It's a sign of your stature.
[Hammon.]
Get used to it.
Axe hired Danzig.
The head hunter's been compromised.
- Fire her.
- [Hammon.]
Already done.
What other measures can we take? We need to hire a Counter Intel specialist.
Do it I'm sorry to wake you.
It's okay, what else was I doing? Do you have it yet? I could just walk away, just run Axe Cap, forget all about Taylor, just like Grigor told me.
Might even be the 'mature' thing.
Fuck mature.
I'm overmatched.
For the first time since I can remember.
He's richer than me.
And he's willing to do shit I am not.
And he's connected to all those other people wanting to do the same shit for him.
You walking away? You're not walking away.
[Wags.]
Because, yeah, he's a Russian Oligarch.
But you, mon frère, are a motherfucking Oligarch, too.
An American Oligarch.
You will not relent.
Taylor must pay.
Well, we have to do it without Grigor getting a whiff of us.
Any losses Taylor Mason Capital has will seem suspect.
The guy's as mercurial as Sinatra with a cold.
Sooner than later, he's gonna pull his money from Taylor, you know.
Then he won't care.
Just wait it out.
You said it, Wags.
We make him mercurial.
[Axe.]
Entice him to take his money elsewhere.
Not 'cause he's getting beaten up, but because nothing's happening.
He's not losing money, but he's not making money either.
We don't put out this fire by pouring water on it.
But by sucking oxygen out of the room.
Slowly.
Invisibly.
Completely.
[dramatic music.]
[sighs.]
I'm sending my fucking doctor over.
First thing tomorrow.
Whatever you say, Papa [dramatic music.]
I haven't been this banged up for quite a while.
You hold it well.
I don't know why I should be surprised by that, but I am.
Used to be like this five nights a week for me back when I was a line pross.
Oh, shit.
I just realized where we are.
- You remember that night? - Sure.
The night Gotti hit Castellano.
They got his driver Tommy Bilotti too.
- Yeah.
- Boom, boom, boom.
I was a beat cop back then, fresh out of the Academy.
You? Home from school for Christmas.
[both chuckle.]
There was a way order used to be maintained back then.
On both sides of the damn street.
Back when New York worked.
Handshakes and gentlemen's agreements that could be counted on.
That order got shot to shit that night.
Fuckin' A.
Some of us are still old school, though, right? All the way Remember the pictures of Castellano? Oh.
Guy thought he was heading for a beautiful steak, right? Barely gets out the car, boom.
- [groans.]
- [both laugh.]
Right? His mouth's all open.
[grunts.]
- [both laugh.]
- [Chuck.]
Oh, my God.
[Chuck laughs.]
Some fucking night that was, huh? [Chuck.]
You know, I kind of feel bad for the old guy, scumbag that he was.
Blindsided like that.
But I guess that's New York for ya, right? Boss one minute, in the gutter the next.
Yeah.
The best you can hope for is one last look at the stars before you go.
[Fun Lovin' Criminals' "King of New York".]
La-di da-di, free John Gotti La-di da-di, la-di La-di da-di, free John Gotti The King of New York, man, the King of New York La-di da-di, free John Gotti La-di da-di, la-di La-di da-di, free John Gotti The King of New York, man, the King of New York The King of New York The King of New York The King of New York The King, the King, the King of New York The King of New York The King of New York The King, the King, the King of New York