Devious Maids s04e01 Episode Script

1 Previously on "Devious Maids" Who are you? I was working for you and your wife, Peri, but we fell in love, so we got married.
Why can't Spence remember me? Apparently, this kind of memory loss can happen with severe head trauma.
How could I ever forget you? You're the best maid my wife and I ever had.
Your wife? Hello, Rosie.
I'm right where I belong.
Carmen: I couldn't even take care of myself, let alone a kid.
So I gave my baby away.
Marisol: Well, my book came out.
And it's on the New York Times Best Seller list.
Marisol, do you think we're getting back together? Said you needed more time.
You said I needed more time.
I'm gonna go home to Seattle.
Zoila, it's time, huh? Mom's crashing.
You need to tell me who to prioritize Zoila or her baby.
That is my petition for divorce.
Adrian, I've spent my entire adult life with you, and this ordeal has made me realize what a terrible waste that's been.
Where is Adrian? Adrian! Adrian!! [Panting.]
[Gasps.]
[Screams.]
[Grunting.]
[Screams.]
[Screams.]
[Gasps.]
Oh, dear God.
Help!! My maid's been murdered! [Voice breaking.]
Who's going to clean all this up? - [Thud.]
- Ow! Damn it! [Buzzer.]
What the hell's your problem now? You stepped on me.
Please! It's your own fault! You died on my mark! [Scoffs.]
I didn't die on your mark! Are you having fun watching your book get made into a big studio movie? Well, it's not exactly what I expected.
In the book, Flora is stabbed and she falls into the pool.
- Why did that change? - [Sighs.]
Peri felt like the audience was paying to see her, so her character should discover the body.
But that's not what happened.
Take it up with the head of the studio.
I got bigger fish.
Eva: Elliott! [Sighs.]
I can't work with her.
She is completely abusive.
All I did was politely suggest she not perform the scene like the brain-dead, no-talent pageant queen that she is.
Ladies, please.
Can we just get along for one more scene? Oh, hi.
Are you taking the dinner order? Eva: Oh, my God! Are you still hungry after all the scenery you just chewed? No, no.
I wrote "Coming Clean.
" The book that this movie is based on ? But you could still take our dinner order, right? I'm glad you're here.
I was thinking shouldn't I be the one who goes undercover as a maid? Wouldn't that be better? No.
No.
This story isn't about you.
It's about the maids.
It's about Latina empowerment.
Back me up here, Eva.
Mm, I don't know.
Do all the maids have to be Latina? Seems kind of racist.
No, it isn't.
Not all maids are Latina, but these maids are.
If we change the race of the murdered maid, we can get somebody better than Eva.
[Laughs.]
Okay, that's it.
I'm gone.
By the way, you are the meanest person I have ever met.
And I worked on "Desperate Housewives.
" Evelyn.
I was in Barbados.
I just heard the tragic news.
Thank you, dear.
It's been a devastating six months.
You're such a strong woman.
I'm a survivor.
I will always survive.
You know who else survived? Me.
Yes.
We are both survivors.
But the house was a total loss, so thank you for your condolences.
Adrian, how are you? Still paralyzed.
But the doctors are optimistic.
And he did feel a tingle in his toes today, so our hopes are high.
Oh, you are a saint for taking such good care of your husband.
If you need anything, please don't hesitate.
Well, you're very popular at the club.
If I'd perished in the explosion, they would have renamed the golf course after you.
I'm sorry.
I don't say it enough, but I appreciate everything you've done for me.
I adore you, my love.
And I, you.
[Door closes.]
Mrs.
Genevieve, you have a visitor! Zoila! Oh, I'm so happy you're back! I was only in New York for a little while.
Yes, but this is really the first time we've seen each other since that sad, sad day at the hospital.
Right.
I hope visiting Valentina and Remi made you feel better.
Um sure.
A little.
But how is this working out? Isn't Rosie the best maid? Oh, yes, she is.
And Mrs.
Genevieve is the nicest boss I ever had.
Rosie, would you be a dear and go make us some lunch? Mm-hmm.
[Chuckles.]
I hate her.
What? No one hates Rosie.
Maybe not the deaf.
They don't have to hear her awful whine.
Rosie doesn't whine.
[As Rosie.]
"Mrs.
Genevieeevve, you have a visitorrr.
" Stop! She'll hear you.
[Normal voice.]
Have I mentioned how happy I am that you're back? That's the thing.
I'm I'm not really back.
Oh.
Do you need more time? No.
That's not it.
Well, then, what's wrong? I don't feel good about taking the job from Rosie.
I do! I feel great about it! But she's living here with her son.
I can't just throw her out on the street.
And I I just talked to Marisol, and she has a lead on a job for me.
That's ridiculous.
I'll just have two maids.
[Chuckling.]
What? You can't do that.
Of course I can.
I'm rich.
Oh, I am so happy you're here! It's gonna be just like before.
Thank you for seeing me, Mr.
Hudson.
Ah, "Peter," please.
It's nice to finally meet the woman behind our next big hit.
Actually, that's why I'm here.
I have a few concerns.
Well, shoot.
Your concerns are my concerns.
Oh.
Then why does it seem like you're about to leave? Well, unfortunately, I have another meeting in three minutes.
[Sighs.]
Look, I'm the first to admit I don't know much about how Hollywood works.
- W - I wasn't finished.
But when I let your studio option my book, I was promised that the movie would stay true to my vision.
- I - Still not finished.
Peri Westmore is twisting this movie into something I hate, and I need you to do something about it.
Well, don't you have anything to say for yourself? Oh, I can talk now.
Good.
Why don't we have dinner tonight talk about it? Are you asking me out on a date? We obviously have a lot to discuss.
Wouldn't it be nicer to do it over good food and wine? I shouldn't have to go out on a date to have my concerns addressed.
It's wildly inappropriate.
That's too bad.
This was the best three minutes of my day.
Now, Peri, after your big win at the America's Choice Awards, I'm hearing people say "Oscar.
" I'm just trying to enjoy the moment shooting a new movie, enjoying my family.
I'm so blessed.
Now, I have to ask you something a little touchy.
Uh-oh.
[Chuckles.]
A few years ago, you all went through a very public divorce, but now you're back together.
Spence had an affair with our maid.
It wasn't just an affair.
You actually married your maid.
I guess I did.
You don't remember? Six months ago, Spence suffered a traumatic brain injury.
[Voice breaking.]
He almost died.
But that tragic event brought us back together.
Why did I marry her? [Chuckles nervously.]
Well, as I've told you many times, you're an alcoholic.
And our maid was a was a nasty, mean, promiscuous person, terribly manipulative.
- Oh! Peri Westmore.
- She sounds just awful - [TV turns off.]
- Don't you just love her? Mrs.
Genevieve, she's with Spence! The man I was married to.
Wait.
You're the maid who split up their marriage? Everything she said is a lie.
She makes it seem like I tricked Spence into loving me.
But why else would he leave her? She's America's Sweetheart, and you're you.
It doesn't matter anymore.
They're getting remarried, and Spence still doesn't even remember me.
Rosie, may I give you some advice? Stop whining.
I don't whine.
Yes, you do.
And if you really want to win him back, do something about it.
I tried, but I haven't been able to get near him since the hospital.
Well, then try again.
Now that Zoila's back, take a day off.
Or a week.
Really.
Go.
[Tools whirring.]
Carmen, this house is absolutely filthy.
I know! Those construction workers make such a mess.
All right, all right! May I help you? Sorry to just walk in, but your doorbell is missing.
And also your door.
Yes, forgive the mess.
The house exploded several months back.
Are you Carmen? The one and only.
Who are you? I'm Daniela.
Your cousin Josefina's daughter? From San Juan? What? [Chuckles nervously.]
What are you doing in Los Angeles? I'm on vacation for the week, and I thought it would be cool to meet you.
Does your mother know you're here? She knows I'm in L.
A.
, but Tía Yolanda told me where to find you.
I want to be a singer, just like you.
So surprise! [Chuckles.]
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no [Screams.]
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
iSanto Dios! I got to clean this up.
What was that? Nothing.
Carmen, you're being very strange toward your cousin.
You got to get rid of her.
Well, she seems like a lovely girl.
She looks exactly like you.
She could be your daughter.
[Gasps.]
[Gasps.]
iSanto Dios! That girl's your daughter? I was just a teenager.
I had big plans for my life.
So my cousin Josefina, she raised her as her own.
So she doesn't even know she's adopted? Nobody knows! And if she finds out, it's gonna mess up her whole life.
Her life or yours? I never should have told you any of this.
- Daniela: Carmen? - Yeah? I have to go.
Oh, no! So soon? Yeah.
I don't want to miss check-in.
I'm staying at this gross youth hostel.
[Gasps.]
You should stay here.
- What?! - Well, why not? We have an infinite number of guest rooms.
But shouldn't you check with Mrs.
Powell first? Oh, Evelyn will be so busy with the remodel, she won't even notice.
And young Daniela can get to know her cousin.
iAy! iMuchas gracias, Mr.
Powell! Isn't this great?! [Inhales sharply.]
Huh.
You really don't like hugging, do you? I'll go get my suitcase.
[Whirring.]
I'm not going to lie being in a wheelchair is boring, and this promises to be positively scintillating.
Gail, I'm so happy you agreed to do our remodel.
There are so few good interior designers.
Please I've been dying to get my hands on that dusty, old place of yours for years.
Hurtful.
But I like the enthusiasm.
[Sighs.]
I hate to ask, but are we gonna need those ugly wheelchair ramps for Adrian? Gail, I need a confidante.
Can I trust you? Evelyn.
You know you can't.
I heard you traded oral sex for your eyelid surgery.
You can trust me completely.
I want to divorce Adrian.
Really? You seem so devoted to him.
I planned on leaving him before the accident, but now that he's an invalid I can't, or everyone will think I'm a monster.
Guess your only choice is to hope he makes a full recovery.
Well, I've hired the best concierge doctor in town.
And as soon as Adrian can walk I'm walking, too.
[Water running.]
Are you washing dishes? Uh-huh.
Hand me that rectangular thing.
The sponge? You know, it's been six months since it happened.
You don't have to do my work for me.
I want to.
You're not the only one who knows how to wash dishes.
Stop! That's not what this is for.
You're making more work for me.
Oh, please let me help.
You've been through so much.
I know why don't I make a snack for you instead? We have some baby carrots [Gasps.]
Oh, dear.
Miniature carrots.
Petite carrots? You can say the word "baby.
" I just want to make things easier for you.
How about this Stop treating me with kid gloves.
Just be the same old shrew you've always been.
Will that make you happy? It's what I want.
Sweetheart? They're sending a photographer to our party so they can blurb about it in People, so wear something nice, okay, Mister? Mister.
Mister Spence.
Excuse me? Didn't you call me that when we were first dating? Nope.
I've never called you that.
Really? I think I'd remember calling you a stupid nickname.
[Groans.]
Thought maybe that interview triggered something.
Oh, well, it didn't.
Nobody's ever called you that ever.
Peri, it's been six months, and I still don't remember anything, and even when I get a glimmer, it turns out to be wrong.
So your brain is mush.
But it's also a blank slate.
This is our chance to start over.
Okay? Okay.
Besides nothing good happened in those three years, anyway.
[Dialing.]
Mommy, play a game with me.
Not now, sweetie.
But here.
Have some screen time.
It's good for you.
It's me.
Spence is remembering things again.
I need your help.
iAy! iAy! Let go of me! Ow! Son of a bitch! [Groans.]
Jesse? [Groans.]
What are you doing here? I'm working.
You work for the Westmores? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm their butler.
And sometimes their bodyguard, when crazy ladies try to break in.
I'm not crazy.
I need to help Spence get his memory back.
He loves me.
I'm not getting in the middle of this.
I need this job.
Jesse, she's a horrible woman.
Yeah.
Which is why you'll end up in jail if she catches you here.
Go home.
And for your own good, don't come back.
You went to see Spence? What did he say? I couldn't get to him.
Jesse grabbed me and pulled me away.
Jesse? My Jesse? He's not your Jesse anymore.
He dumped you.
Remember? When did Jesse get to L.
A.
? Why didn't he call me? I don't know, but he works for Mrs.
Peri now.
Oh, makes sense She hired a male maid so he wouldn't sleep with the help again.
How does he look? Marisol.
You're obsessed.
No, I'm not.
Guys, Spence is going to remarry Peri, and I'm going to lose him forever.
Can we focus on that? Sorry.
You're right, Rosie.
Sorry.
What am I gonna do? I know.
I bet Jesse could help you get some time alone with Spence.
I tried, but he wouldn't let me.
If you want, I can talk to Jesse on your behalf.
On Rosie's behalf or your own? Rosie's.
Mostly.
[Chuckling.]
[Giggling.]
What? Whoa.
I heard a crash.
Is everything okay? I can't get on the damn Internet again.
Peri changed the password.
I don't think throwing the computer is gonna fix that.
It just seems like she's trying to keep me from finding out anything about the three years I've lost.
She wouldn't do that.
Would she? Honey.
I have a surprise for you.
I'm really not in the mood.
Well, I don't want to see you, either.
- Ben! - [Chuckles.]
Hey! What's up? - It's been a while, huh? - Yeah.
Um, Jesse, Ben is my manager, and he and Spence are, uh good friends.
And Jesse's our houseboy.
You said I could call myself a "butler.
" But I'm great with "houseboy.
" [Cellphone vibrates.]
Excuse me.
Nice meeting you.
Well, I hope you don't mind me stopping by.
I was in the neighborhood.
Wait.
She called you, didn't she? You went behind my back and called my sponsor? You've been so angry and frustrated.
I'm not gonna drink.
I'm just Scared? Confused? Lost? Spence, those are all feelings that could make you slip.
I love you, and I don't want to lose you again.
Just talk to Ben.
You'll feel better.
You always do.
- Fine.
- Good.
Now, where should we begin? [Laughs.]
Danni.
I thought you were going sightseeing.
Oh, Mr.
Powell said that it would be more fun if you took me.
Yes, it seemed like the kind of thing that cousins would do together taking in the sights, talking about cousin things.
Danni, excuse Mr.
Powell.
It's time for his pain medication.
I'm not in any pain.
Ow! Hey, there's a huge celebrity party tonight.
You want to crash it with me? I can't.
I have to work all night.
Yeah.
The Powells are really, really mean bosses.
Really? Mr.
Powell seems great.
He seems great, but he's really a big perv.
Why do you think he wants you to stay? [Scoffs.]
He's trying to get with me? Oh, that man tries to get with anything you, me, the sofa.
Don't sit anywhere.
Ew! Maybe you should stay somewhere else, like that nice hostel.
Do you not want me staying here? Why would you say that? [Chuckles nervously.]
I'm not stupid.
First, you said a maid got murdered here, and now Mr.
Powell's trying to sleep with me? Well, the murder thing was true.
Why don't you want me here? - Danni - Forget it! Now I know why my mom never talks about you.
You're kind of a bitch.
So, I hear you had a little run-in with Rosie yesterday.
- Little? - Mm-hmm.
She's lucky I didn't call the police.
[Chuckles.]
Listen, if Spence was in his right mind, he would never stay with Peri.
She's the bad guy here, not Rosie.
But I can't get involved.
All right, I let myself get personal with a boss before, and it was a mistake.
Ouch! Is that why you didn't tell me you were back in L.
A.
? Honestly, I never left.
You told me that you were going home to Seattle.
I just needed some space.
From me.
You seemed kind of stuck on me.
I mean, I know I broke your heart Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
You didn't break my heart.
My heart's just fine.
[Chuckles.]
Well, what about all those sad, late-night e-mails? Two e-mails! And they were not sad.
[Sighs.]
You just sounded like you weren't over me.
[Chuckling.]
I am so over you.
In fact, I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm seeing someone.
Oh.
He runs a movie studio.
He's totally into me.
[Chuckles.]
- Well, congratulations.
- [Laughs.]
Thanks.
So I guess that means there's no reason we can't be friends.
- Yay.
- Yeah.
Great.
Friends.
Zoila! You don't have to do that.
After everything you've been through.
Honestly, I don't need you to tell me what I've been through.
I keep forgetting I'm not supposed to be nice to you.
It's good you're scrubbing.
Your upper arms were starting to get flabby.
Seriously? I thought you wanted me to take off the kid gloves.
You don't have to insult me.
Just be normal.
All right.
I had lunch at the club today, and you'll never believe this.
It turns out, the butternut squash soup I always order is cream-based.
Isn't that horrible? That truly is a tragedy the Holocaust, Columbine and your soup.
Zoila, what's going on? I'm really trying here, but nothing I say seems to be right.
I thought I could do this, but I can't.
What are you talking about? Six months ago, you had to make a choice a horrible choice between the life of a baby and my life and you made the wrong one.
Zoila I understand why you did it, and I know I shouldn't blame you, but I do.
I blame you.
You were going to die.
And right now, I wish I had.
Your child would have grown up without a mother.
How is that better? Because it's not this! I'm angry all the time, and everything inside me hurts, and I don't know how to feel okay again.
I'll help you.
How?! Being in this place all the time and seeing you every day [Sniffles.]
I can't.
Here.
No! I won't take it.
Spence: Thanks for coming.
Yep.
I really love you, man.
You know I'm always here for you, brother.
Okay.
I'm gonna go say bye to Peri.
Hey! Is that my shirt for the party? Uh, yeah.
Just picked it up.
Fantastic.
I'm really looking forward to tonight.
Well, you seem upbeat.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
But you were so angry before about your memory, you thought you know, maybe Peri was trying to keep things from you.
But why would she do that? No, no, no.
I have to stop fighting to remember everything and let it go.
If I keep obsessing, I'll never be free.
You understand? Uh, n not really.
You know, you should spend some time with Ben.
He really puts things in perspective.
[Clicks tongue.]
Peri: Okay, then.
I took care of it, all right? Thank you.
Absolutely.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
[Knock on door.]
Come in.
- Rosie.
- What's going on? You were right.
Something weird's going on at that house.
Spence needs your help.
I'll be gone in 20 minutes.
You were right to call me out, okay? I wasn't being very nice.
So what is it? You clearly have some issue with me.
I came out here to be a singer, and look at me now.
I'm not famous or rich or - So? - So I'm just a maid.
I'm sure you think I'm a loser.
Why do you even care what I think? Danni, you're my You're my family.
I don't want you to be disappointed in me.
You're not a loser.
You're amazing.
Carmen, after all these years, you're still chasing your dream.
That's so brave for someone your age.
Hey! You know what I mean.
You'll stay for the week, I'll take the afternoon off, and we'll check out the sights.
Okay, cool.
I thought you weren't a hugger.
I'm giving it a try.
Well, Dr.
Ryan, what's the progress today? Any steps forward? Which, even as I say it, I realize is a poor choice of words.
Something wrong? I'm going to go lie down.
Maybe you should fill Evelyn in.
Are you sure? She needs to know.
Well, what do I need to know? I'm sorry, Mrs.
Powell.
I'm afraid Adrian will never walk again.
Are you certain? It's been six months.
There's been no progress.
There was tingling in his toes! What about the tingling? Phantom pain.
After the loss of mobility in the limbs, the body No.
Adrian will walk again.
He has to.
I'm sorry, but there's simply no hope.
I know it's hard, but try to stay positive.
Other than his legs, Adrian's healthy.
You should have a long, long life together.
[Sobbing.]
So, you really don't want to work for Genevieve anymore? It's better this way.
Trust me.
Well, your timing is good.
A big fashion exec just bought this place, and she needs a maid to help her unpack.
What's she like? I don't know.
She got called away to Milan, so she's gonna be gone for six months.
So I'm gonna be alone? Yeah.
You okay with that? No boss, no uniform, clean whenever I want? I am great with it.
Yeah, but maybe you should be around people right now.
No.
I need to get away from my life for a while, not be reminded of everything.
I need a fresh start.
Okay, well, if you need anything, I am just a phone call away! Mm! You heard the part where I'm excited to be alone, right? Right.
Right.
- Right.
- Okay.
Bye.
[Sighs.]
[Camera shutter clicks.]
Sheila! Breen! Thanks for coming.
Have you met my manager? Benjamín.
It's a pleasure.
You know, I've been looking for a manager.
Actually, I've got a pretty full plate with Peri at the moment.
[Gasps.]
You hear that? He's all mine.
[Laughs.]
Oh, excuse me.
It's the caterers.
You're 30 minutes late! Do you have any idea how lucky you are to cater an A-list party like this?! Mrs.
Westmore, why don't you let me handle this so you can get back to your party? At least somebody's doing their job.
You can set up over there.
Rosie.
Spence is alone upstairs.
You won't have much time.
Thanks, Jesse.
I owe you one.
Rosie? I heard you and Peri are getting married again.
We are.
But you don't love her.
You love me.
No.
I know what happened between us.
You tricked me.
We had a beautiful, happy life together.
I know somewhere deep inside, you must remember that.
You are out of your mind.
Am I? You still think I'm crazy? Yes.
I'm with Peri.
And I am not gonna let you destroy our family again.
Now get the hell out of my house! [Voice breaking.]
I can't believe this.
[Sniffles.]
Goodbye Mr.
Spence.
[Door opens.]
What did you say?! [Panting.]
Oh! Sorry! Rosie, wait! As long as I'm working for you, I am happy.
Spence: My heart stops every time I see you.
You are an amazing woman.
And you're a good man.
That's why I love you.
I let you get away from me once.
I don't want that to happen again.
[Indistinct talking.]
Are you okay, man? I remember.
Danni? Do you want to grab some dinner? Oh, thank you, but I think I'm just gonna go to bed early.
It's only 8:30.
[Laughs.]
I know, but I'm still on Puerto Rico time.
Buenas noches.
I think, in some ways, an America's Choice Award is better than an Oscar, because it comes from you know America.
I need to talk to you.
I'm in the middle of something.
[Laughs.]
Apparently, Spence's brain injury has caused him to lose his manners.
[Laughs.]
Anyway Whiskey neat.
I thought you were sober.
Not tonight.
[Laughs.]
Give me another.
Pour.
[Whimpering.]
And then he said I destroyed his family.
I've lost Spence forever.
Oh, dear.
I hate hearing this.
Because I'm whining again? No.
Well, yes.
But I can relate.
I may have lost Zoila forever, too.
I'm sorry.
I know you two were close.
But it's you and me now.
And I know just the thing to make us feel better.
[Sniffles.]
Cleaning! I think that would only make you feel better.
Consider it a passing of the feather duster.
You are my maid now.
[Chuckles.]
Well, I have to admit, I was surprised to hear from you after you called my dinner invitation "wildly inappropriate.
" Oh.
Yeah.
Well I ran into a friend, and he made me realize that life is too short.
He? So is this an ex? Well, yes, but no one important.
We dated for like a minute.
[Laughs.]
- Oh.
Okay.
- [Laughs.]
So, about your movie.
I spoke with Peri's agent He told me that he'd left town, but really, he was just avoiding me.
And he thinks I'm the crazy one? [Laughs.]
I totally get it.
I've had my share of crazy exes.
[Chuckles.]
Yeah.
I mean, it didn't work out.
So what? I can accept that.
It's not like he was "The One.
" [Chuckles.]
Anyway, I told Peri's agent how difficult she's being, and they're gonna get her to behave.
Oh, that's great.
Let me ask you something.
Just because a woman writes a couple of e-mails, it doesn't mean that she's still hung up on a guy, does it? Definitely not.
[Chuckles.]
Well, well.
There he is.
Literally, my ball and chain.
Are you okay? Is there anything I can do for you? Yes, if it's not too much trouble and I hate to impose, but would you mind killing yourself? Pardon me? I despise you.
You have tormented, embarrassed, and disrespected me in unimaginable ways for nearly 20 years.
I've wanted to leave you for months.
Then why are you still here? Because you're in that stupid chair! And what would people think if I left? Well, I don't care why you're here only that you stayed.
[Sighs.]
And I'm going to make it my life's work to make sure you fall in love with me again.
[Sighs.]
In the meantime, don't let me catch you near a flight of stairs.
Name? Oh.
Um I'm a hot girl.
I can see that.
And hot girls get into parties.
Not this one.
Come on.
Please? It's my first week in L.
A.
, and all I want is to go to a celebrity party.
Look, honestly, there's nothing special about these people.
They're just like everyone else.
[Glass shatters, Peri gasps.]
Sweetheart, what are you doing? Don't you "sweetheart" me! I remember everything about Rosie.
You've been lying to me for months! Now, calm down.
I can explain.
You tried to keep her away from me [Camera shutters clicking.]
but I know the truth.
And you're gonna pay for what you did! Spence, you're hurting me! Spence! [Camera shutter clicking.]
[Gasps.]
Okay, let's do this.
All right.
Ooh.
[Chuckles.]
Oh, hello! [Chuckles.]
[Doorbell rings.]
Oh.
I didn't know royalty lived here.
[Chuckles.]
Oh.
I was just having some fun.
Well, I like it.
And now I know I can wear my cape without feeling embarrassed.
- [Chuckles.]
- [Chuckles.]
I live next door, by the way.
I don't just come to random homes and make fun of people's clothes.
[Laughs.]
Kyle.
Zoila.
Well, I'll be right over there, Zoila, if you need anything.
Oh, and this is for you uh, a gift for the new homeowner.
Oh, actually I'm so glad I bought this house.
Ben! Where the hell are you?! Peri.
Peri.
Spence left the party.
But don't worry I took his keys, so he's not driving anywhere.
I don't care about Spence! Do you know where Ben is? Uh, I'll check downstairs.
Ben! Oh, my God.
[Sighs.]
Well, thank you, Peter.
This was a lovely evening.
I'm glad you liked it.
I really did.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, um take care.
"Take care"? [Laughs.]
What does that mean? Well, typically, it means "Have a good night and take care of yourself.
" Yeah, I I just thought you would go with, uh, "We should do this again" or "I'll call you tomorrow.
" Nope.
Take care.
But I thought we had a pretty good time.
We talked all night.
No, you talked all night about Jesse.
And he's right you are still hung up on him.
- I am - Mm.
I wasn't finished.
Whether you know it or not, you're still working through your feelings, which is fine, but I'm a grown-ass man, and I've been around the block enough to know how this ends.
I just Still not finished.
I happen to think you're sexy as hell and smart and a little bit crazy, which is exactly my type.
But I'm not gonna date somebody who's hung up on their ex.
Well, do you have anything to say for yourself? I'm a little concerned about your wife.
When she learned about your prognosis, she was devastated.
I'm aware, but as long as I'm in this chair, she won't leave me.
Which is why I'm paying you all of this money to keep my little secret.
[Groans.]
Peri? [Groans.]
Ooh.
[Sighs.]
[Groans.]
Peri? Peri?! Oh, my God.