Star vs. the Forces of Evil (2015) s04e01 Episode Script

1 [title music.]
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird, gonna have a good time I ain't from round here, I'm from another woo-hoo Yea-ah I'm talking rainbows, I'm talking puppies Puh-puh-puh-puh- puh-puh-puh-puuuh It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension [music.]
[blasts.]
Aah! Oh! Not bad, me! - Huh! - Aah! Hyah! Incoming! Yah! - Yaaah! - Oh! Nice! Whoa! [River laughing.]
Tastes like chicken! Glittery heart slap blast! - Aah! - Rainbow fist punch! Aah! Look out! My purse! [Star grunts.]
Whew! Noooo! Unh! Ohh! - Come on, Star! - Aah! [gasps.]
I got this.
Narwhal Blast! Mom! [coughing.]
I'm not your mom.
- What? - Huh? For corn's sake, Star Butterfly, this is the third time you've ruined my prison tower! Couldn't you have used one of the holes you already made? Uh, sorry.
We just wanted to triple check to make sure we hadn't missed anything.
I believe I told you before let me say it again Queen Moon's not here! You know, this is all your mom's fault anyway.
Keeping secrets and conspiring with evil queens.
I know things are a little shaky right now, but it's not my mom's fault.
Yeah, I suppose you're right.
- It's your fault.
- Ugh! Yes, the moment you're in charge, you just hand the whole kingdom over to the Queen of Darkness and her frozen Monster husband.
How's that feeling? Too tight? Oh, no, you you could go tighter.
Now with Queen Eclipsa in charge, I'm no longer allowed to imprison Monsters.
Now I've had to resort to imprisoning Mewmans, and, well, you know, I'm just not as passionate about that.
How about just not imprisoning anybody? How about you let me keep doing my job, and I'll let you keep ruining everything for everybody? - Fine! - Princesses.
Am I right? [strained.]
Totally.
[snoring.]
[sighs.]
There's gotta be someplace in Mewni we haven't checked yet.
I don't know, Star.
We're running out of options.
[flies buzzing.]
[sniffing.]
[shudders.]
We could go to the Hot Springs again.
It's been awhile since some of us have showered.
[laughs.]
Drink in that musk, boy.
- [laughs.]
That's all natural.
- Yo-kay! [groans.]
[Star's phone ringing.]
You wanna know why hygiene is important? It's because the world is a petri dish of bacteria.
Tom! How's the search goin' today? Oh, it's goin' great! We got tons of leads! Isn't that the same tower you checked twice already? Uh, no! What do you know about towers? You live underground.
There are towers in the Underworld, you know? Sorry, sorry.
You're right, Tom.
You're not stupid.
You never said I was stupid.
Well, not out loud.
[laughs.]
Okay.
That's the Star I miss.
Miss you, too, Boo! See ya soon! And then when you go to eat the sandwich, you're fingers are gonna touch the food you eat in your mouth.
- [phone vibrates.]
Hey, man.
- [Tom.]
Hey, Marco We've looked at this a million times.
Maybe we've been looking at it all wrong.
[Tom.]
I just want to make sure you know I know what a tower is, right? Yeah, I know you know what a tower is.
[Tom.]
So you'll be home at some point, right? Think she still wants to re-check a few more places, - but we're running out of options.
- [Tom.]
Did she call me stupid? Hey, you there! Is everything okay? Uh, yeah.
We're kind of in the middle of something.
Oh, my bad! I thought you fell down and broke all your bones.
Ignore me! Wait a second! Wait! Wait wait wait wait! Hey hey hey, Monster dude! - Your shirt! - Whoa! What'd I do?! - [Star.]
It's It's her! - Moooon! - "Come see me at the Pie Carnival.
" - [grunts.]
Pie Carnival! Why would your mom be at a Pie Carnival? She's probably confused.
The time she spent in the Realm of Magic really did a number on her memory.
Wait a minute! Are you Star Butterfly?! - What? Oh! - It is an honor to meet you! Oh! [laughs.]
It's nice to meet you, too.
- But about the Pie Carnival - Yeah, the Pie Carnival.
[chuckles.]
Oh, they hate Monsters there! But they gotta deal with us now, you know? Ever since you gave the kingdom back to Eclipsa, you've given us Monsters a chance to live a normal life again! Oh.
Well, I guess I was just doing - what felt like the right thing to do.
- You did good, Princess.
Too bad your mom was such a dum-dum! You take that back about my wife! Dad, wait! He knows where Mom is! Uh, Monster dude, please, can you tell us how to get to the Pie Carnival? Oh, yeah, didn't I say? I guess I didn I was very excit It's just over that hill! - Okay, thanks! Bye! - Wait! [panting.]
[Star.]
"Pie Carn-ya-val-lee.
" "Now with Queen Moon.
" - My mom is Queen Moon! - Wait! Wait! [grunts.]
- Dad, Mom's here.
- Aah! Pie Carnival.
Danger! Pie folk! - Pie folk? - Pie folk! The sleaziest scammers in all of Mewni.
What may seem like a fun carnyaval is but a trap to take everything you have.
Your horse, your carriage, your wedding ring.
Did this, uh happen to you? I was trying to win a boom box, but now they've taken my wife.
[Star.]
Well, say what you want about the pie folk.
- But if Mom's here, I'm going.
- Honey, wait! Wear a money belt! - She's doomed.
- Uh, wu-wu-wu-wait a sec.
Look, we've been questing for weeks, and I haven't had a proper meal.
Let's get some food.
- You just touched my beard! - C'mon, man you're, like, the hungriest guy I know.
- You gotta be starving, too! - Of course, I'm starving.
I'm starving for my wife! [whimpers.]
My wife.
Uhhh? We'll eat a proper meal at home after we find Moon! I'm just talking about a snack, dude.
- This place is full of pies! - Full of pies full of lies! You You have food? River! Is that a drumstick?! [King River grumbling.]
Hey, can I, uh Can I get one of these pies? They're six fifty.
Wait $6.
50? Or $650? I don't care, I'm hungry.
But you better throw in a napkin.
Marco, no! I told you not to eat the pies! They're stuffed with nothing but balderdash and humbug! And [muttering gibberish.]
I'm onto you.
Look, man, I'm eating this pie.
[clang.]
Aaah! [grunting.]
Oh, hey, sorry to bother you.
Have you seen my mom? Uh, that depends.
Who's your mom? Queen Uh, former Queen Moon Butterfly.
Ohhhhh! Forgive me for being so common, milady! Your mama Uh, I mean, Queen Moon is over at the meet and greet.
I'll walk you over.
- Hold my pie, would ya? - Sure.
[grunts.]
There it is! Problem is meet and greet is closed.
I gotta go.
That'll be 6.
50 for the pie.
[chickles.]
Oh right.
There ya go.
Excuse me, miss.
Did I hear you're looking for Queen Moon? Yes.
Yes yes yes yes yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, please tell me you know where she is! Welcome to the exclusive Queen Moon Merchandise store! Or shall I say Moon-cherndise? Here we have all your Queen Moon merchandise needs! Including 13 different types of Moon Dolls! Our newest addition is the Supportive Mom Moon Doll! [Queen Moon's voice.]
You're doing just fine, sweetheart! No! We don't want your dumb merchandise! Maybe just one or two.
I thought you said you hated the pie folk.
Yes.
But do I hate the pie folk more than I love my wife? [frustrated.]
Ugh! She's everywhere.
[conversing indistinctly.]
[Star.]
Just look around.
They all love my mom.
Sounds like you need a Supportive Mom Moon Doll.
I thought giving the kingdom back to Eclipsa was the right thing to do.
But I don't know.
Did I Did I blow it? You were Queen, and you made a decision.
Some people might just need some time to get used to it.
[fanfare playing.]
[Fake Manfred.]
Fellow Mewmans! Let us tell you a tale one that we all know too well.
Maybe this will take my mind off of things.
[Fake Manfred.]
The Butterfly Follies.
Ho ho ho, being king of Mewni is the easiest job I've ever married into! [laughter.]
Who Who is this idiot? [burp.]
All hail your king! [laughter and boos.]
[man.]
He's the king! Oh, no! It's me! I'm the idiot?! I'm all out of fooood! What do I do?! [crowd.]
There's a pie on your head! Oooh! There's a pie on my head? [laughter.]
I can't! I can't! He's so dumb! He's just like the real King River! - Ohh! [thud.]
- This is an outrage.
Let's get out of here.
We don't have to watch this.
[Fake Star.]
Papa! Save some pie for me! Star Butterfly! [audience boos.]
Oh, no.
I'm here to destroy the great Butterfly legacy with my love of Monsters! [laughter.]
But, dear! What about your responsibilities to the Mewmans? Here's what I got to say about Mewmans! Narwhal blast! [farts.]
[laughter.]
That's not how the Narwhal Blast works.
- Hey.
Let's Let's leave.
- No.
No no no no.
No, no.
I wanna see where they take this.
But I don't! What do you think they're gonna do to me? What's that I hear? I think my best friend is about to make an appearance! It's Horseface! [laughter.]
My only friend! Girl, you know I'm so sassy.
Hee haw! [Queen Moon.]
You two always make such a mess! [spotlight thuds.]
[both.]
Oh, no! [Queen Moon.]
But do not worry.
[audience gasps.]
Your queen is here.
[cheering.]
[fanfare playing.]
[cheering.]
We love you, Moon! - The rightful queen of Mewni! - All hail Queen Moon! - Moonpie! - Is that really her? It has to be.
Oh, Star, what are you doing?! Mama! Mama! It's me, Star! [music stops.]
[straining.]
You're here! - Mmm! - Um, excuse me? You don't remember me, but this hug feels good right now.
- Who is that? - What's going on? Who Who are you? Mom, you were in a magical dimension.
You lost your memory.
- There was a unicorn? - Um I know it doesn't make any sense, - but you're my mom.
- Indeed! Queen Moon is like a mom to us all! No, she is actually my mother! I am the real Star Butterfly! Well, I've got the wand! But I don't know how to use it! [laughter.]
- Aah! - [crowd gasps.]
I don't need a wand.
It's the real Star Butterfly.
Get her! [shouting.]
I'm sorry.
[gasps.]
But I need to queen-nap you.
Aah! You make terrible pies! - You tell them, sweetie! - We gotta go.
[crowd shouting.]
[music.]
Warnicorn stampede! [neighing.]
Hyah! [King River.]
We'd love to stay, but we don't want to! [shouting.]
- Mom! - Moonpie! Mmm! - Mmm! - Mmm! You've come back to me.
I was so scared I would forget your face, but you're as beautiful as I remembered Uh [mutters.]
Um, I have to tell you something.
[King River and Star gasp.]
You cut your hair? No.
I'm not [clears throat.]
[man's voice.]
I'm not the real Queen Moon.
My name is Erik.
[nervous chuckle.]
Sorry I didn't tell you earlier.
I-I was trying not to break character.
[music.]
We were so close! [crying.]
Oh, my gosh You have a gift! This is the most flawless contouring I've ever seen! I used my new luminizer to highlight my cheekbones.
Sometimes Turdina likes to highlight with glitter.
[Erik.]
I like to use glitter on my eyelids to make 'em pop! [Marco.]
Sometimes I'll put a little bronzer on - and then blend it with my - Marco! We don't have time for this! Oh, my gosh, can I just say its an honor to meet the real Star Butterfly? What does it feel like knowing you single-handedly - ruined your kingdom? - Look, she's been through a lot, and she really doesn't need this from you.
Argh! [ribbits.]
Star! What?! I'm gonna change him back.
- [ribbits.]
- Wait! [ribbits.]
[calling.]
[sighs.]
Great, one more thing I messed up.
Erik.
I guess the only thing left to do is retrace our steps and start searching all over again.
- Or we could go home.
- Oh, you mean give up? It's just that we've been out here for a while.
We'll be more efficient if we're well-rested! [growls.]
Hey.
I promise we're not quitting.
Just washing days of funk off our bodies.
Or in River's case, weeks of funk.
[buzzing.]
[chuckling.]
Let's go home.
[clanking.]
Come on, Dad.
Not again! I have no home without my Moonpie! I'm sleeping outside tonight! Just leave him.
It's not our fault if he wants to be a drama king.
Ugh, fine.
I guess you're right.
[music.]
[Star.]
Hey, Eclipsa! Oh! Star, Marco! Welcome back! Any luck finding your mother? [sighs.]
No.
You know, have you checked the tower down the way? - I've checked the tower.
- [whispering.]
Three times.
Well, you never can be too thorough.
- You wanna bet? - What? - The Castle's really coming along.
- It's a work in progress.
Luckily, I've had lots of help from my transition team.
I'd be lost without them.
- Fresh lemonade, milady? - Thank you, Archibald.
[puppies barking, lasers blasting.]
Aah, puppies! Aw, did you miss us? Let's head inside.
You must be tired.
Actually, I could really go for some food.
[puppies barking.]
[guards.]
Left.
Left.
- Left, right, left.
- [Eclipsa.]
Where's your father? - Still camping off-site? - You know my dad.
He's processing things slowly.
Princess Star! I mean, Regular Star! How goes the search for your mother? It's going! Just taking some time to recharge.
Did you check that tower? [chuckles.]
So, Lavabo, how are things going here? I am busy performing my royal duties as always.
Mmm.
Fresh linen smell.
I am still getting used to seeing the fruits of my labor defiled.
[panting.]
Oh, Star! Did you find your mother? Things have been a bit, uh, different in her absence.
Star, might I borrow you for a second? Wow.
This is quite a production.
[Eclipsa.]
I've spared no expense to free my poor husband.
Ohh, not again! - That is not working.
- No, it's not.
But I just can't help but try everything I can to bring him back.
- You know what that's like.
- Yeah, I do.
Let's get you settled in.
I'm afraid your rooms aren't quite ready yet.
Things have been a bit hectic around here.
[laughs.]
Don't worry about it.
I'm just happy to sleep in a real bed for once.
Gah! Huh?! [Star.]
Whoa! [screech.]
- Yeeeh! - There's my baby! Come to Mama! - [grunting.]
- Oof! - [baby talk.]
- [cooing.]
Aw, baby Meteora! Long time no see.
Uh are you sure she doesn't remember anything from before? Of course not! At least I hope not.
That'd be bad for all of us, wouldn't it? [magic whooshing sound.]
Oh! Would you look at that.
My old spying spell! Back to work already, Star? Yep.
May as well start quadruple-checking all the places.
That's very thorough of you.
But don't work yourself too hard.
You need some time to rest.
Ugh! This is pointless! Star, wait! Okay, she's somewhere, but where is where? Ugh, I don't know what to do! [shaking sound.]
[scraping noise.]
Okay, Glossaryck, here's what's goin' down.
I need your help, but I don't have time for any of your weird riddles.
I am going to ask you a question, - and you are going to answer it, okay? - Okay.
I think the reason I can't find my mom is because something happened to her when we went to the magic dimension.
But I can hardly remember what even happened there.
What did the magic do to my mom? You're asking the wrong question.
The real question is, what were you doing in the magic dimension at all? - That was your first mistake.
- What are you talking about? I had to go there to find my mom! Just like I had to go there to defeat Toffee! - Maybe that was a mistake, too.
- Huh? [baby cooing.]
[raspberries.]
I'm worried about Star.
If she can't even find Moon with the All-Seeing Eye, well, it's not a good sign.
But she was in a dimension of pure magic! I mean, maybe there's some kind of interference or something? That doesn't really change how my spell works, Marco.
I'm afraid someone will have to have - a very difficult conversation with Star.
- [sighs.]
I know.
There's just never a good time.
Now might be a good time.
[knock on door.]
[Marco.]
Hey.
Could we, uh, chat? Yeah, sure, what's up? So how is you? I mean I mean, how is you are doing? Ugh, you are so bad at small talk.
- Just get to it.
- Okay.
Okay.
It's just, we've searched everywhere in the kingdom for your mom, but we never seem to get any closer to finding her.
Have you ever worried that maybe there's a tiny chance that we might never find her? Nope.
We'll find her.
I know it.
- But how can you possibly know that? - Because I have this.
A picture of us that says "Beach Day!"? Look closely, Marco.
When exactly did we go to that beach? - What is this? - It's a gift from Father Time.
- It's from the future.
- What?! Father Time gave it to me, and I keep it with me because sometimes I need a reminder Oh, my gosh, this was on our fridge! How long have you had this thing?! That's, like, so many levels of time paradox! Just listen, okay?! I don't know how, but someday soon, we're gonna have this awesome beach day, and there's no way I'd be this happy if we never found my mom.
Huh.
Well I'm not keen on paradoxes, but you do look pretty happy in that photo.
Still a paradox, though.
Let's get some rest.
The sooner we find your mom, the sooner we get to go to the beach.
Ahh! - [Marco.]
Good night.
- Night night, Marco.
Good night, future Star.
[paper crinkling.]
[gasps.]
You bought one of their pies?! - Aah! - Star! I'm tired of corn, okay? Don't judge me.
Those pies are garbage, so, yes, I will judge you.
Mm! Mm! Star, you should try this.
It's actually pretty good! Yeah, who am I kidding? I'm not above garbage.
[gasps.]
Marco! Huh! Over, under, around, and through! Grab the little Mewni rabbit, pull him through! What are you doing? The crust! It's just how my mom makes it! She made them all the time when I was a little girl.
- So do you think ? - Yes.
My mom made these pies.
She's a princess winning battles Through the break of dawn Don't worry when it's night 'Cause she will keep the lights on Ohh, there goes a shining star - Evil won't deter her - No, sir! - 'Cause magic flows through her - Star Butterfly! She is a shining star