The Batman (2004) s04e01 Episode Script
A Matter of Family
DICK: I think it's time for practice.
That must mean you finished everything on your plate, Dick? [SWALLOWS NOISILY.]
Okay, okay.
Let's go.
[SPITS.]
Woo-hoo! I'm telling you, Mary, a leash is the only answer for that boy.
Wait for us, son.
Dick, your father said to wait.
[GASPS.]
Looks like the circus is in town.
Tony Zucco.
Welcome to Gotham City.
John Grayson, the circus manager.
Can I help you? I'd like to think I'm here to help you, John.
For a small fee my brothers and I, we'll provide your circus with protection.
Protection? I'm not sure I understand why we would need your protection.
Humph.
I come from circus folk myself.
So let me put this in terms you can understand.
You don't pay us, and you'll have to deal with a strongman.
[RUMBLING AND CRASHING.]
[BOTH GASP.]
A lion tamer.
[WHIP CRACKS AND BEAM SNAPS.]
[CRASHES.]
And a juggler.
[THUDS AND CRASHES.]
-Stop.
-Dick! You've got quite a family here, John.
My pops always said, "Family's the most important thing.
" ZUCCO: I know, my brothers mean the world to me.
I'm not sure what I'd do if something happened to them.
[DICK GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[JOHN GRUNTS AND ZUCCO YELLS.]
[WHIP CRACKS AND BING GRUNTS.]
[JOHN GRUNTS.]
[JOHN GROANING.]
ZUCCO: Let me be blunt, John.
I don't think this circus or your family can afford not having our protection.
Funny.
Because I think we can.
And what makes you so sure about that, sonny? I called the police five minutes ago.
MAN: And guess who intercepted that call.
[THUDS AND ZUCCO GRUNTS.]
[GASPS.]
[WHIP CRACKS.]
BRUISER: Come on.
We gotta go! [WHIP CRACKING.]
[WHIRRING THEN METALLIC CLANG.]
[BING GROANS.]
[PANTING.]
Our family has been divided.
I think we should return the favor.
[POLICE SIREN WAILING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS AND AUDIENCE CHEERS.]
Okay, Dick, come on out now.
DICK: No.
I look like a loser.
Your mother put a lot of work into the new costumes.
JOHN: Well, are you gonna just stand there? [GRUNTING.]
Is there a reason why this costume has to be so colorful? Because when I see you up there, Richard, you make me think of a little robin.
Ugh! A robin? Like the bird? You know, kids my age get beat up for nicknames like that.
How about if we call you our Flying Squirrel? Better? You know, Dad, I'm not the only one who looks like a loser.
Loser? I'll teach you.
[CHUCKLING.]
Oh, John.
RINGMASTER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls children of all ages.
I present to you the fearless Flying Graysons.
As always, performing their daring feats without the safety of a net.
[AUDIENCE CLAPPING AND CHEERING.]
Aren't they fantastic? [CLAPPING.]
AUDIENCE: Ah! [AUDIENCE CHEERS.]
RINGMASTER: And now, the youngest member of this amazing family.
[AUDIENCE CHEERS.]
[CREAKING.]
[GASPS.]
[SNAPS.]
Huh? Dick! No! [AUDIENCE GASPS.]
I think the Flying Graysons might have to change their name.
[CRIES SOFTLY.]
[SOBBING.]
[THUNDER RUMBLING AND RAINDROPS PATTERING.]
Hello, Dick.
I'm Bruce Wayne.
I'm sorry about your loss.
Thanks, Mr.
Wayne, for everything.
I heard you paid for all this.
So how are you holding up? I'll be okay.
At least, that's what everyone's been telling me.
I miss them.
It's just not fair.
[THUNDER RUMBLES.]
[WIND WHISTLING.]
DICK: Anyway, thanks again.
His parents were all the family that boy had.
That's why I've decided to take him in as a foster son.
If he'll have me.
I was lucky enough to have you to guide me through those dark days, Alfred.
BRUCE: Dick deserves the same.
Welcome home, Dick.
ALFRED: Dinner is served.
DICK: I think this table might be bigger than my family's entire trailer.
Indeed.
It can seat 22 and sleep half that number.
Now, be sure you finish everything on your plate.
So where's Bruce? He's never around, is he? Unfortunately, his work demands much of his time.
Master Dick has been asking for you.
I can't sit back and wait for the police to link the Zuccos to the crime.
Now that the boy is part of this family I suspect he may need a father figure more than he needs a crime fighter.
The criminal responsible for my parents' death was never brought to justice, Alfred.
That's a burden I won't let Dick carry.
Boss Zucco and his brothers have been harassing Gotham business owners for years.
So far, my only lead is a toothpick I found at the circus carrying traces of Zucco's DNA.
ALFRED: That would seem to only confirm what you already know, his involvement.
This specific brand of toothpick is carried in only two places in Gotham, Alfred.
Garrett's Family Restaurant and the Ice Pick Club.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[DOORBELL BUZZING.]
Password? [DOOR CRASHES AND ZUCCO GRUNTS.]
Tony Zucco.
Where is he? [GLASS BREAKS.]
You got a lot of guts coming onto our turf like this.
[CHAINS CLINK.]
[EXPLOSIONS.]
[MEN GRUNTING.]
MAN: Come on.
Let's get out of here! [WHIMPERING.]
Where is Zucco? I don't know.
He's laying low.
But his brothers, they're still shaking down parts of Old Gotham.
You'll find them there.
Tell Zucco I'm coming.
Tell him I'm coming for all of them.
[ELECTRONIC GAME BEEPING.]
ALFRED: Master Dick, could I see you? Chop-chop.
Huh? ALFRED: I thought you might want to see this.
One day, Alfred, Zucco's gonna have to pay for what he did.
I'm gonna make sure of that.
We should prepare for dinner.
Perhaps, Master Bruce will even join us this evening.
And perhaps monkeys will fly out of my butt.
[CASH DRAWER DINGS.]
BRUISER: And, uh, give me one of those.
Huh? [CRASHING AND ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
[ELECTRIC CURRENT BUZZING.]
Huh! [GRUNTING.]
-Huh? -I want answers.
Where is Zucco? No way I rat out family.
You already have.
[BATS SQUEAKING.]
Huh! Huh? [ELECTRONIC BEEPING.]
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow.
[BATS SQUEAKING.]
Batman.
Huh! [BATMOBILE SCREECHING THEN ENGINE DIES DOWN.]
Uh-oh.
[SIGHS.]
[GASPS.]
You're? [GASPS.]
BRUCE: Under the circumstances it was only a matter of time before you learned my secret.
Okay.
Let's talk about what you saw.
You're the Batman.
The Dark Knight.
The world's greatest detective.
That's you.
And it's in large part why you haven't seen a lot of me lately.
I don't want your childhood to be consumed by revenge.
Like mine was.
You're going after Zucco, aren't you? No, that's for me.
I wanna make sure he gets what's coming to him.
Maybe we should finish this in the morning.
It's late.
Late for Bruce Wayne early for the Batman.
BATMAN: Zucco! I know you're here.
[CANNON FIRES.]
If I find Batman, I find Zucco.
[BEEPING.]
The circus.
But I can't go dressed like this.
Morning, sunshine.
[BATMAN GROANING.]
You know, being here has really brought back memories.
Believe it or not, once upon a time, my pops and I were in the circus.
We were knife throwers.
Well, I threw the knives and Dad hoped I wouldn't hit him.
[CHUCKLING.]
It was quite an act, really.
We put him on a board, just like the one you're on.
And I'd say, "Ladies and gentlemen, please don't try this at home.
I'm a trained professional.
" Then my dad would say: "l knew we should have given you piano lessons instead.
" [LAUGHS.]
Always good for a laugh.
Why'd you give up such a promising career? Well, one day, I missed.
Huh? ZUCCO: So Batman's got family too.
Cute.
[GRUNTS.]
Ah! Didn't your parents ever teach you any manners? [GROANS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GROANS.]
[SMACKS THEN DICK GRUNTS.]
I watched you take down my brother, Batman.
Now, it's your turn to watch.
Aah! Huh? Aarggh! [THUDDING AND GRUNTING.]
Huh? [WHIMPERING.]
[ZUCCO SCREAMS.]
Zucco! [WHIMPERING.]
Ugh! BATMAN: Nice save.
But I thought you wanted Zucco to get what was coming to him.
Well, he did, didn't he? Justice.
I've been thinking, Dick.
I'm not sure Bruce Wayne has what it takes to raise you properly.
Yeah, kind of noticed he's never around.
But if not Bruce Wayne, what about the Batman? We'd have to give you a name.
How about Robin? Like the bird? It's a family name.
That must mean you finished everything on your plate, Dick? [SWALLOWS NOISILY.]
Okay, okay.
Let's go.
[SPITS.]
Woo-hoo! I'm telling you, Mary, a leash is the only answer for that boy.
Wait for us, son.
Dick, your father said to wait.
[GASPS.]
Looks like the circus is in town.
Tony Zucco.
Welcome to Gotham City.
John Grayson, the circus manager.
Can I help you? I'd like to think I'm here to help you, John.
For a small fee my brothers and I, we'll provide your circus with protection.
Protection? I'm not sure I understand why we would need your protection.
Humph.
I come from circus folk myself.
So let me put this in terms you can understand.
You don't pay us, and you'll have to deal with a strongman.
[RUMBLING AND CRASHING.]
[BOTH GASP.]
A lion tamer.
[WHIP CRACKS AND BEAM SNAPS.]
[CRASHES.]
And a juggler.
[THUDS AND CRASHES.]
-Stop.
-Dick! You've got quite a family here, John.
My pops always said, "Family's the most important thing.
" ZUCCO: I know, my brothers mean the world to me.
I'm not sure what I'd do if something happened to them.
[DICK GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[JOHN GRUNTS AND ZUCCO YELLS.]
[WHIP CRACKS AND BING GRUNTS.]
[JOHN GRUNTS.]
[JOHN GROANING.]
ZUCCO: Let me be blunt, John.
I don't think this circus or your family can afford not having our protection.
Funny.
Because I think we can.
And what makes you so sure about that, sonny? I called the police five minutes ago.
MAN: And guess who intercepted that call.
[THUDS AND ZUCCO GRUNTS.]
[GASPS.]
[WHIP CRACKS.]
BRUISER: Come on.
We gotta go! [WHIP CRACKING.]
[WHIRRING THEN METALLIC CLANG.]
[BING GROANS.]
[PANTING.]
Our family has been divided.
I think we should return the favor.
[POLICE SIREN WAILING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS AND AUDIENCE CHEERS.]
Okay, Dick, come on out now.
DICK: No.
I look like a loser.
Your mother put a lot of work into the new costumes.
JOHN: Well, are you gonna just stand there? [GRUNTING.]
Is there a reason why this costume has to be so colorful? Because when I see you up there, Richard, you make me think of a little robin.
Ugh! A robin? Like the bird? You know, kids my age get beat up for nicknames like that.
How about if we call you our Flying Squirrel? Better? You know, Dad, I'm not the only one who looks like a loser.
Loser? I'll teach you.
[CHUCKLING.]
Oh, John.
RINGMASTER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls children of all ages.
I present to you the fearless Flying Graysons.
As always, performing their daring feats without the safety of a net.
[AUDIENCE CLAPPING AND CHEERING.]
Aren't they fantastic? [CLAPPING.]
AUDIENCE: Ah! [AUDIENCE CHEERS.]
RINGMASTER: And now, the youngest member of this amazing family.
[AUDIENCE CHEERS.]
[CREAKING.]
[GASPS.]
[SNAPS.]
Huh? Dick! No! [AUDIENCE GASPS.]
I think the Flying Graysons might have to change their name.
[CRIES SOFTLY.]
[SOBBING.]
[THUNDER RUMBLING AND RAINDROPS PATTERING.]
Hello, Dick.
I'm Bruce Wayne.
I'm sorry about your loss.
Thanks, Mr.
Wayne, for everything.
I heard you paid for all this.
So how are you holding up? I'll be okay.
At least, that's what everyone's been telling me.
I miss them.
It's just not fair.
[THUNDER RUMBLES.]
[WIND WHISTLING.]
DICK: Anyway, thanks again.
His parents were all the family that boy had.
That's why I've decided to take him in as a foster son.
If he'll have me.
I was lucky enough to have you to guide me through those dark days, Alfred.
BRUCE: Dick deserves the same.
Welcome home, Dick.
ALFRED: Dinner is served.
DICK: I think this table might be bigger than my family's entire trailer.
Indeed.
It can seat 22 and sleep half that number.
Now, be sure you finish everything on your plate.
So where's Bruce? He's never around, is he? Unfortunately, his work demands much of his time.
Master Dick has been asking for you.
I can't sit back and wait for the police to link the Zuccos to the crime.
Now that the boy is part of this family I suspect he may need a father figure more than he needs a crime fighter.
The criminal responsible for my parents' death was never brought to justice, Alfred.
That's a burden I won't let Dick carry.
Boss Zucco and his brothers have been harassing Gotham business owners for years.
So far, my only lead is a toothpick I found at the circus carrying traces of Zucco's DNA.
ALFRED: That would seem to only confirm what you already know, his involvement.
This specific brand of toothpick is carried in only two places in Gotham, Alfred.
Garrett's Family Restaurant and the Ice Pick Club.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[DOORBELL BUZZING.]
Password? [DOOR CRASHES AND ZUCCO GRUNTS.]
Tony Zucco.
Where is he? [GLASS BREAKS.]
You got a lot of guts coming onto our turf like this.
[CHAINS CLINK.]
[EXPLOSIONS.]
[MEN GRUNTING.]
MAN: Come on.
Let's get out of here! [WHIMPERING.]
Where is Zucco? I don't know.
He's laying low.
But his brothers, they're still shaking down parts of Old Gotham.
You'll find them there.
Tell Zucco I'm coming.
Tell him I'm coming for all of them.
[ELECTRONIC GAME BEEPING.]
ALFRED: Master Dick, could I see you? Chop-chop.
Huh? ALFRED: I thought you might want to see this.
One day, Alfred, Zucco's gonna have to pay for what he did.
I'm gonna make sure of that.
We should prepare for dinner.
Perhaps, Master Bruce will even join us this evening.
And perhaps monkeys will fly out of my butt.
[CASH DRAWER DINGS.]
BRUISER: And, uh, give me one of those.
Huh? [CRASHING AND ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
[ELECTRIC CURRENT BUZZING.]
Huh! [GRUNTING.]
-Huh? -I want answers.
Where is Zucco? No way I rat out family.
You already have.
[BATS SQUEAKING.]
Huh! Huh? [ELECTRONIC BEEPING.]
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow.
[BATS SQUEAKING.]
Batman.
Huh! [BATMOBILE SCREECHING THEN ENGINE DIES DOWN.]
Uh-oh.
[SIGHS.]
[GASPS.]
You're? [GASPS.]
BRUCE: Under the circumstances it was only a matter of time before you learned my secret.
Okay.
Let's talk about what you saw.
You're the Batman.
The Dark Knight.
The world's greatest detective.
That's you.
And it's in large part why you haven't seen a lot of me lately.
I don't want your childhood to be consumed by revenge.
Like mine was.
You're going after Zucco, aren't you? No, that's for me.
I wanna make sure he gets what's coming to him.
Maybe we should finish this in the morning.
It's late.
Late for Bruce Wayne early for the Batman.
BATMAN: Zucco! I know you're here.
[CANNON FIRES.]
If I find Batman, I find Zucco.
[BEEPING.]
The circus.
But I can't go dressed like this.
Morning, sunshine.
[BATMAN GROANING.]
You know, being here has really brought back memories.
Believe it or not, once upon a time, my pops and I were in the circus.
We were knife throwers.
Well, I threw the knives and Dad hoped I wouldn't hit him.
[CHUCKLING.]
It was quite an act, really.
We put him on a board, just like the one you're on.
And I'd say, "Ladies and gentlemen, please don't try this at home.
I'm a trained professional.
" Then my dad would say: "l knew we should have given you piano lessons instead.
" [LAUGHS.]
Always good for a laugh.
Why'd you give up such a promising career? Well, one day, I missed.
Huh? ZUCCO: So Batman's got family too.
Cute.
[GRUNTS.]
Ah! Didn't your parents ever teach you any manners? [GROANS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GROANS.]
[SMACKS THEN DICK GRUNTS.]
I watched you take down my brother, Batman.
Now, it's your turn to watch.
Aah! Huh? Aarggh! [THUDDING AND GRUNTING.]
Huh? [WHIMPERING.]
[ZUCCO SCREAMS.]
Zucco! [WHIMPERING.]
Ugh! BATMAN: Nice save.
But I thought you wanted Zucco to get what was coming to him.
Well, he did, didn't he? Justice.
I've been thinking, Dick.
I'm not sure Bruce Wayne has what it takes to raise you properly.
Yeah, kind of noticed he's never around.
But if not Bruce Wayne, what about the Batman? We'd have to give you a name.
How about Robin? Like the bird? It's a family name.