The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s04e01 Episode Script
The Joke's on Ray
1
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Luigi, jump!
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Ghostbusters!
Yeah!
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
And me, and me!
Oh, boy! Oh!
Mmm. Great sandwiches, Egon.
Yeah.
Mmm. What's in them anyway?
Simple, really.
A basic blend of chemical components
that precisely duplicates
the vitamins and minerals,
lost through epidermal elimination.
- What'd he say?
- What'd he say?
He said they're made of synthetic
UghSweat!
I'll be happy to share the recipe.
Yummy!
That's OK, Egon.
Yeah, next time I'm hungry,
I'll just suck a sock.
Socks? Mmm.
Yummy!
I'll get it, I'll get it.
Yay!
Special delivery for Ray Stantz.
- Whoa!
- Thank you.
Ray! Oh, Ray.
Thanks, Slimer.
According to this,
my long lost Uncle Gaylord
just passed away.
Last time I saw him, I was just a kid.
Slimer, you've never
even met Uncle Gaylord.
Oh, yeah.
And he willed his joke shop
in Queens to me.
Wow!
"Because Ray was my nephew,
with the worst sense of humor."
Hey, I resent that.
I have a great sense of humor,
right, guys?
Nah!
Well, I think I'm very funny.
Now, that was funny.
Well, this is it, Slimer.
Welcome to my very own joke shop.
Wowie! Oh, boy!
Wow.
Ray? Ray?
It's just me, Slimer.
Boy, this place is full of great stuff.
Wonder what this is?
Ray!
Whoa!
Welcome to Gaylord's Hall of Humor.
Well, I'll be
It's some sort of private museum of gags
throughout history.
Oh, boy!
Hey, let's check this one out.
Careful, Slimer.
No telling what will pop out.
Boy, it's really stuck.
Empty.
Big laugh.
Uncle Gaylord was definitely weird.
Come on, let's go, Slimer.
I can't wait to try
some of the gags on the guys.
Right, Slimer?
Yeah, it'll be fun.
Hey!
He just doesn't know it yet.
Oh, Janine!
Uh, could you come here?
Please.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
Ray, where are you?
Ray? That's weird.
Janine, you should have
seen the look on your face.
Very funny, guys.
That way.
Hey, guys.
Mind if I get a quick
group portrait here, uh,
you know, for our album?
Sure, fire away.
That was good!
You guys are great sports, huh, Slimer?
Yeah, funny.
Got an idea.
Great, let's go.
Ghostbusters Central.
Hey, easy, guys.
Trouble at the Hasty Pastry Bakery.
OK, where is it?
Where's what?
Uh, we'd better check that address again.
Now!
WhaWhat hit us?
Huh? A water balloon?
Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Yummy!
Hey.
Ooh! Ah! Ah!
Our phantom has a label.
Terrific, now we're dealing
with designer phantoms.
Yuck!
Gaylord's Joke Shop.
- Gaylord's Joke Shop?
- Gaylord's Joke Shop?
I swear I didn't do it. No joke, guys.
Don't mention "joke", OK?
Nice going, Ray.
Your Uncle Gaylord was right, Ray.
You aren't funny.
Laugh's over, Slimer.
No more jokes.
Aw, no more jokes?
Agreed?
Slimer!
Oh, OK, OK.
Hey, Slimer.
Didn't we leave this trap door closed?
What's all that
glittery stuff in there?
I don't know.
Ray! Ray! Ray!
Slimer, what's wrong?
Imps!
Imps?
Ghostbusters Central. Janine.
Janine, let me talk to the guys.
Sorry, Ray, they're out on a call.
Oh, no! Where?
The Twin Towers Project, downtown.
Why?
And I'm telling you guys. We didn't call.
There's no problem here.
Well, somebody called.
You fellas go ahead
and look around but I have work to do.
Look out!
There's something up top!
Guys!
Wait! Don't go up there.
- There's Ray.
- What's he saying?
Stop! You're in terrible danger.
Probably trying to
tell us another dumb joke.
- Stop! Stop!
- Stop! Stop!
Cut! Cut! Cut!
Whoa!
The cable!
Blast the motors. It's our only chance.
Phew. Ground floor.
Lingerie. Everybody, out.
Watch this.
Now do you guys believe me?
Slimer and I haven't been
pulling these pranks.
Well, I'd certainly like to know who is.
Imps.
Imps. What are Imps?
Bad news.
Yeah, they almost did us in, man.
Imps are invisible spirits
with a dangerous sense of humor.
The longer they remain free,
the more powerful they become.
Then, we'd better
bag these little buggers, fast.
But how do you
trap something you can't see?
With these Ecto-Visors,
we can see them just fine.
Ghostbusters Central.
Hey! This may be them, guys.
Ghostbusters, repeat.
We need more help at the waterfront.
Ghosts are
haunting the honeymoon cruise.
Please, hurry.
It must be the imps.
Yeah, but this time, the joke's on them.
Let's roll.
- Ghostbusters.
- Ghostbusters.
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
OK, guys, the laughs stop here.
Hey, imp, you can run but you can't hide.
OK, go for it!
Roger. Roger.
Watch out, guys!
Oh, no, be careful
Bye-bye, Ghostbusters.
Oh, no!
That's the one thing we forgot.
What's that?
Our swimsuits.
Company!
Trap out!
These guys are tough.
Crank up the power.
Well, we didn't trap them
but they're definitely gone.
Don't count on it.
I'm still getting
a high level of spectral activity.
I knew it! They're getting
ready for another attack.
Not to worry, troops.
We're gonna send those yo-yos back
where they came from.
Peter, our throwers
are useless against them.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I didn't say it'd be easy.
Wait! The little black box.
It's the only way we can trap 'em.
When those imps show up,
lead them to the Joke Shop.
And Slimer and I will do the rest.
We will?
Hold it, Ray.
Those imps aren't joking around anymore.
Neither am I.
Here they come!
Faster, Winston, they're gaining on us.
Ghostbusters ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Right behind us, Ray.
Ghostbusters ♪
What's the matter?
Can't you take a joke?
I think Ray has finally flipped out.
Ray! Get out of there!
Ghostbusters ♪
Uh-uh. You guys aren't going anywhere.
Whoa!
- Get 'em.
- After 'em.
Quick!
Go after 'em. This way. This way.
Get 'em.
Trap open!
OK. On three.
One,
two,
three!
Ghostbusters ♪
Solemn promise, guys.
No more jokes. Right, Slimer?
Scouts honor.
- Amen to that.
- All right.
It's satisfactory.
In fact,
I've decided to sell the shop.
After all, jokes really
are silly kids stuff.
And we're all a little
too mature for that, right, guys?
But can we keep the whoopee cushion?
Yeah!
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Luigi, jump!
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Ghostbusters!
Yeah!
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
And me, and me!
Oh, boy! Oh!
Mmm. Great sandwiches, Egon.
Yeah.
Mmm. What's in them anyway?
Simple, really.
A basic blend of chemical components
that precisely duplicates
the vitamins and minerals,
lost through epidermal elimination.
- What'd he say?
- What'd he say?
He said they're made of synthetic
UghSweat!
I'll be happy to share the recipe.
Yummy!
That's OK, Egon.
Yeah, next time I'm hungry,
I'll just suck a sock.
Socks? Mmm.
Yummy!
I'll get it, I'll get it.
Yay!
Special delivery for Ray Stantz.
- Whoa!
- Thank you.
Ray! Oh, Ray.
Thanks, Slimer.
According to this,
my long lost Uncle Gaylord
just passed away.
Last time I saw him, I was just a kid.
Slimer, you've never
even met Uncle Gaylord.
Oh, yeah.
And he willed his joke shop
in Queens to me.
Wow!
"Because Ray was my nephew,
with the worst sense of humor."
Hey, I resent that.
I have a great sense of humor,
right, guys?
Nah!
Well, I think I'm very funny.
Now, that was funny.
Well, this is it, Slimer.
Welcome to my very own joke shop.
Wowie! Oh, boy!
Wow.
Ray? Ray?
It's just me, Slimer.
Boy, this place is full of great stuff.
Wonder what this is?
Ray!
Whoa!
Welcome to Gaylord's Hall of Humor.
Well, I'll be
It's some sort of private museum of gags
throughout history.
Oh, boy!
Hey, let's check this one out.
Careful, Slimer.
No telling what will pop out.
Boy, it's really stuck.
Empty.
Big laugh.
Uncle Gaylord was definitely weird.
Come on, let's go, Slimer.
I can't wait to try
some of the gags on the guys.
Right, Slimer?
Yeah, it'll be fun.
Hey!
He just doesn't know it yet.
Oh, Janine!
Uh, could you come here?
Please.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
Ray, where are you?
Ray? That's weird.
Janine, you should have
seen the look on your face.
Very funny, guys.
That way.
Hey, guys.
Mind if I get a quick
group portrait here, uh,
you know, for our album?
Sure, fire away.
That was good!
You guys are great sports, huh, Slimer?
Yeah, funny.
Got an idea.
Great, let's go.
Ghostbusters Central.
Hey, easy, guys.
Trouble at the Hasty Pastry Bakery.
OK, where is it?
Where's what?
Uh, we'd better check that address again.
Now!
WhaWhat hit us?
Huh? A water balloon?
Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Yummy!
Hey.
Ooh! Ah! Ah!
Our phantom has a label.
Terrific, now we're dealing
with designer phantoms.
Yuck!
Gaylord's Joke Shop.
- Gaylord's Joke Shop?
- Gaylord's Joke Shop?
I swear I didn't do it. No joke, guys.
Don't mention "joke", OK?
Nice going, Ray.
Your Uncle Gaylord was right, Ray.
You aren't funny.
Laugh's over, Slimer.
No more jokes.
Aw, no more jokes?
Agreed?
Slimer!
Oh, OK, OK.
Hey, Slimer.
Didn't we leave this trap door closed?
What's all that
glittery stuff in there?
I don't know.
Ray! Ray! Ray!
Slimer, what's wrong?
Imps!
Imps?
Ghostbusters Central. Janine.
Janine, let me talk to the guys.
Sorry, Ray, they're out on a call.
Oh, no! Where?
The Twin Towers Project, downtown.
Why?
And I'm telling you guys. We didn't call.
There's no problem here.
Well, somebody called.
You fellas go ahead
and look around but I have work to do.
Look out!
There's something up top!
Guys!
Wait! Don't go up there.
- There's Ray.
- What's he saying?
Stop! You're in terrible danger.
Probably trying to
tell us another dumb joke.
- Stop! Stop!
- Stop! Stop!
Cut! Cut! Cut!
Whoa!
The cable!
Blast the motors. It's our only chance.
Phew. Ground floor.
Lingerie. Everybody, out.
Watch this.
Now do you guys believe me?
Slimer and I haven't been
pulling these pranks.
Well, I'd certainly like to know who is.
Imps.
Imps. What are Imps?
Bad news.
Yeah, they almost did us in, man.
Imps are invisible spirits
with a dangerous sense of humor.
The longer they remain free,
the more powerful they become.
Then, we'd better
bag these little buggers, fast.
But how do you
trap something you can't see?
With these Ecto-Visors,
we can see them just fine.
Ghostbusters Central.
Hey! This may be them, guys.
Ghostbusters, repeat.
We need more help at the waterfront.
Ghosts are
haunting the honeymoon cruise.
Please, hurry.
It must be the imps.
Yeah, but this time, the joke's on them.
Let's roll.
- Ghostbusters.
- Ghostbusters.
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
OK, guys, the laughs stop here.
Hey, imp, you can run but you can't hide.
OK, go for it!
Roger. Roger.
Watch out, guys!
Oh, no, be careful
Bye-bye, Ghostbusters.
Oh, no!
That's the one thing we forgot.
What's that?
Our swimsuits.
Company!
Trap out!
These guys are tough.
Crank up the power.
Well, we didn't trap them
but they're definitely gone.
Don't count on it.
I'm still getting
a high level of spectral activity.
I knew it! They're getting
ready for another attack.
Not to worry, troops.
We're gonna send those yo-yos back
where they came from.
Peter, our throwers
are useless against them.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I didn't say it'd be easy.
Wait! The little black box.
It's the only way we can trap 'em.
When those imps show up,
lead them to the Joke Shop.
And Slimer and I will do the rest.
We will?
Hold it, Ray.
Those imps aren't joking around anymore.
Neither am I.
Here they come!
Faster, Winston, they're gaining on us.
Ghostbusters ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Right behind us, Ray.
Ghostbusters ♪
What's the matter?
Can't you take a joke?
I think Ray has finally flipped out.
Ray! Get out of there!
Ghostbusters ♪
Uh-uh. You guys aren't going anywhere.
Whoa!
- Get 'em.
- After 'em.
Quick!
Go after 'em. This way. This way.
Get 'em.
Trap open!
OK. On three.
One,
two,
three!
Ghostbusters ♪
Solemn promise, guys.
No more jokes. Right, Slimer?
Scouts honor.
- Amen to that.
- All right.
It's satisfactory.
In fact,
I've decided to sell the shop.
After all, jokes really
are silly kids stuff.
And we're all a little
too mature for that, right, guys?
But can we keep the whoopee cushion?
Yeah!