The Wonder Years s04e01 Episode Script

Growing Up

What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song I will try not to sing out of key, yeah Oh, baby, I get by By with a little help from my friends All I need is my buddies High with a little help from my friends I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher - Try with a little help from my friends - Whoa-oa-oa-oa, yeah - Ooh, ooh, ooh That summer of 1970, my brother bought a car My sister was accepted at college And I French-kissed Winnie Cooper under the bleachers at the 4th of July fireworks.
Things were changing.
Sometimes it seemed like the whole world was exploding with new ideas Reaching out for new experiences Seeing through new eyes.
Wow.
[ Indistinct conversations .]
- Oh.
- Oh.
Adolescence it's never a pretty sight.
She wants us.
She definitely wants us.
- Definitely.
- Us? Why us? "Why us?" the battle cry of the 14-year-old.
Okay, here's the plan.
We walk past her, casually And drop this on her back.
Then what? Then we strike up a conversation.
Things were confusing, all right Forget it, Walter.
It'll never work.
What'll never work? - Uh - Uh sometimes even crazy.
Uh, nothing.
Still, I wasn't crazy.
Just In love.
Can I walk you home? Sure.
[ Acoustic guitar playing .]
Winnie and I had survived a summer of long-distance romance.
In fact, her move across town had brought a new depth to our relationship.
Want a piece of gum? We shared everything now that she was wearing my ring hopes, dreams, big plans.
Want to go to a movie tomorrow night? Sure.
And then after that Uhhuh.
Yep, these were golden moments In a golden summer when every day was perfect, and you knew it would go on forever.
[ Engine backfires, rattling .]
[ Engine backfires .]
Except of course at my end of town.
[ Tires screech .]
[ Gears grind .]
Damn it, Wayne.
The hell you think you're doing? [ Engine backfires .]
Driving? Driving where?! To the graveyard?! At the Arnold house, the dog days had set in early.
Only thing you're driving is me nuts! Honey? Don't want to talk about it.
- Hey, dad - I don't want to hear about it.
What happened? Beats me.
[ Door closes .]
This much was clear my family wasn't getting along.
Excuse me.
Watch it! - You watch it! - Mom! - She's hogging the chips.
- I'm not hogging Even for us.
Maybe it had something to do with Wayne's new girlfriend, Angela.
More potatoes, dear? Oh.
Thank you, Mrs.
Arnold.
For some reason, my dad seemed to resent seeing his paycheck disappear down the mouth of a total stranger.
The rest of us just resented her in general.
So, I heard you and your pals were out drooling over Marsha Millany at the pool today.
Or maybe it had to do with my brother.
- Shut up, butthead! - No! Yes! Get away from me! Then again, it could have been Karen.
Well, I've finished choosing my courses for the fall semester.
Oh, that's wonderful, honey.
What are you taking? Afro-American history, Hindu philosophy, Navajo arts, sexual politics, and English 101.
- Huh? - Jack.
I'm not paying for that.
You already did, dad.
Are you gonna eat that? Whatever it was, suddenly everyone in my family seemed to be in everyone else's way And vice versa.
[ Scoffs .]
Do we have to watch this? Why? What's wrong with this? - I hate it.
- I like it.
Okay.
Fine.
- We're leaving.
- Wait.
Of course, we should have seen this coming.
Mom had been folding laundry every night for three weeks straight.
Even my socks had creases.
I've been thinking.
We should get away.
- Huh? - What? All of us.
We should do something together.
The mind shrank at the possibilities.
Monday's labor day.
We should go to your office picnic.
Huh? We haven't been in such a long time.
We used to have such a good time there.
- Remember? - Mom.
I'm leaving for college on Tuesday.
Uh, y-yeah, I've got a date.
Uh, me too.
There.
4-1.
Clearly a landslide decision.
I think we'll go.
[ Horn honks .]
So much for democracy.
[ Tires screeching, horn honking .]
What's that idiot doing now? [ Engine backfires .]
[ Tires screech .]
[ Sighs .]
You know, honey, I am really looking forward to this.
It's been years since I've seen the old gang.
Like who? Well, like Charlie Wilson, from accounting.
You think he's gonna be there? He retired.
Oh.
Well, what about Al Finella? He had that lovely wife, Nancy.
Sacked.
Ed Berwitz? Dead.
And that about covered the full range of possibilities.
Detweiler will be there, though.
Harry Detweiler? Harry Detweiler, the office clown.
Big on palm-buzzers and whoopee cushions.
The one dad always referred to as "Mr.
deadwood," huh, dad? [ Chuckling .]
Kevin! That's not very nice.
[ Chuckles .]
[ Laughs .]
Does he still have that stupid laugh? Kind of.
And suddenly, for the first time in weeks, dad was smiling! You remember that Christmas party when he came dressed as a reindeer? Oh.
His nose lit up.
Yeah, and his tail caught on fire.
[ Laughter .]
And we were all laughing.
[ Horn honks .]
[ Acoustic guitar playing .]
[ Laughter continues .]
And by the time we arrived at the picnic, things had changed.
And if an office picnic was a way of bringing us together, well [ Tires screech, crash .]
[ Glass shatters .]
[ Rattling .]
- Are you crazy?! It was the very least we could do.
Look what you did! Come here! Look what you did to the car! - Get back! - Get down from there! There's nothing quite as American as an office picnic.
Mountains of hot dogs, buckets of soft drinks, a chance for kids to hang out with the big guys.
[ "When I'm Sixty-Four" plays .]
It makes you proud to have a family Proud to have a dad.
It makes you never want to leave.
[ Insect buzzing .]
[ Indistinct conversations .]
[ Buzzing continues .]
[ Sighs .]
Can we go home now? Honey.
You haven't really given it a chance.
Well, it's crowded, it's noisy.
I hate it.
Well See you later, suckers.
Where are you going? For a drive.
[ Groans .]
Uh For a walk? Come on.
Uhhuh.
Come on.
Somehow mom's plan to reunite the Arnold clan wasn't exactly coming off in a blaze of family harmony.
Hey, Arnold! You gonna play in the softball game this afternoon? Oh, yeah.
Come on, dad.
Let's play.
Okay.
This'll be great! Maybe we'll even be on the same team.
I could see us now, side by side on the infield Tinker to Arnold to what are you talking about? You'd get killed out there.
- Y-yeah, but, dad - Maybe next time, huh? Picnics are for fascists.
[ Children playing .]
[ Humming tune .]
You know you're having real fun when you find yourself rooting for which hot dog is gonna split open first.
Kevin? Kevin Arnold? Is that you, son? Uh-oh.
Harry Detweiler himself.
In the flesh.
Hi, Mr.
Detweiler.
How are you? Uh! Uh-oh! [ Laughs .]
Hardly recognized you! Been putting hair on that chest, huh? Y kind of.
Pretty funny.
Maybe he'd like some hair up his nose.
Say, you remember my daughter, don't you? Mimi! Over here! [ Singsong voice .]
It's Kevin Arnold! Great.
The only thing worse than Detweiler was his kid, Mimi the tomboy The one we called "the stick.
" [ Strings crescendo .]
Kevin? Hi.
Mimi? Do you like boating? Did I like boating? [ Horn blows .]
"Admiral Arnold" to my close naval associates.
This is nice, isn't it? Uh, yeah.
Nice.
Once I figured out what these big wooden sticks were for.
I can't believe I'm actually sitting here with Kevin Arnold.
Huh? Well, you were always kind of My hero.
[ Ducks quacking .]
Remember how I used to tag along after you? You must have thought I was a real pest.
- Nah! - Nah! And to think, my dad said you probably wouldn't be here.
Really? Well, after the promotion and all.
You know.
Oh.
That.
Sure.
Still, just to clarify the position What promotion? The one my dad got.
He's vice president of the whole company now.
Hold on here.
Detweiler? Mr.
deadwood? I guess your father took it pretty hard.
And suddenly I didn't feel like boating anymore.
Uh I think it's time we started heading back.
- Already? - Uh, yeah.
You know, I-it's getting kind of warm and [ ducks quacking .]
We could go swimming.
Uh, h-here? Why not? Well, we we we don't have our bathing suits or anything.
A-and, besides Kevin Who needs a bathing suit? And right at that moment I learned something.
When it came to maritime operations Uh Whoa! I was definitely out of my depth.
Kevin? [ Indistinct conversations .]
There are times in a man's life when there's only one cure for pain and humiliation drown your sorrows in a cold one.
Thanks, kid.
This, however, was not one of those times.
Out of my way, butthead.
- [ Giggling .]
- Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I felt rattled, confused.
Suddenly I was seeing things in a new light.
A lot of things.
Here he came.
Maybe he wanted to talk.
About Detweiler, the promotion.
I know I did.
- Dad? - The hell you doing with that? Hey.
Guys.
My kid, the beer drinker.
[ Laughter .]
You stick to ginger ale, okay? Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?! - Well, take this! - Hey! I'm playing in that softball game, and you're not gonna stop me! [ Whoosh! .]
- Stee-rike! Okay, so I was a little overmatched here.
I didn't care.
You all right, Sonny? Yeah.
Sure.
Fine.
So that pitcher was the size of Utah I was ready for anything.
Time! Well, almost anything.
Let me pitch to him, huh? Thanks.
[ Indistinct conversations .]
[ Whooshing .]
Steerike two! I don't know.
Maybe he had his reasons.
Maybe he thought he was doing me a favor.
One more, Jackaroo! One more! [ Laughs .]
Or maybe he was just trying to look good for his cronies.
You call this a game?! Come on! It was humiliating.
And suddenly, I'd had enough of picnics, of guys who called you Sonny.
Hey! What's the matter? You can't do any better than that? - Oh! - Oh! -Oh! What's the matter? Can't you throw a decent fastball?! - Whoa! - Whoa! -Whoa! What's the matter? Afraid I'll knock it out of the park? Yep, I was on a roll.
Hey, Jack! The kid's right! Then I rolled a tad too far.
Come on, dad, throw me something besides Dead wood! [ Steam whistle blows .]
[ Growls .]
Uh-oh.
What? I didn't even look where I hit it.
Just put my head down and ran.
Rounded first Flew by second And kept going.
[ Breathing heavily .]
Ugh! By the time I'd reached third, though, I was beginning to wonder Who was minding the store here? - Jack? - Dad? I don't think so.
Come on, move, Jack.
[ Somber music plays .]
There was only one thing to do.
I crossed home plate.
And kept going.
[ Crickets chirping .]
[ Thunder rumbling .]
I didn't do much the rest of that afternoon.
Took a long walk, got stung by a hornet.
Did some thinking.
I couldn't understand what was happening to me To my family.
[ Water splashes .]
[ Water splashes .]
Wayne? Where's Angela? Shut up, butthead.
Which I guess was Wayne's way of saying he'd been dumped.
[ Sighs .]
I can't believe it.
I'm sorry.
Eat it.
I don't get it.
What did I do? Well, you you shut up, okay? Okay.
Nobody liked her, anyway.
The awful thing is it was true.
[ Sighs .]
Why do these things always happen to me? [ Owl hooting .]
Maybe it was the cry of every kid who'd ever put on long pants, who'd ever had his heart broken, who'd ever been disappointed.
In any event I know what you mean.
For that one moment, I actually felt Close to my brother.
[ Thunder crashes .]
I'm out of here! It's funny, the thoughts that go through your head in those moments before death.
I remembered Winnie.
I wondered, who was gonna feed my fish? Hi, dad! As it turned out, though, dad hadn't come to kill me.
Guess you heard about Detweiler.
Uh Sorry.
And then I realized I guess dad wore long pants, too.
It's okay, dad.
Lucky shot back there.
Should have ducked.
Yeah.
[ Sighs .]
Don't ever get old, Kev.
I wasn't sure whether he meant me or him.
I guess we both knew it didn't really matter.
We didn't really have a choice.
- Irene, good night - Irene, good night Growing up is never easy.
You hold on to things that were.
You wonder what's to come.
- Good night - Good night But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been and look ahead to what would be.
- I'll see you in my dreams - I'll see you in my dreams - Irene, good night - Irene, good night Other days New days Days to come.
- Irene, good night - Irene, good night The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older.
We just had to forgive ourselves for growing up.
[ Joan Baez's "Forever Young" plays .]
May God's blessing keep you always May your wishes all come true May you always do for others And let others do for you May you build a ladder to the stars And climb on every rung Ready? I think so.
May you stay Bye, Karen.
Forever young Bye, kid.
I'll miss you.
May you grow up to be righteous Karen? May you grow up to be true Honey.
May you always know the truth Thanks.
And see the lights surrounding you May you always I love you, mom.
[ Engine turns over .]
Stand upright and be strong And may you stay Okay, come on.
Forever young Forever young Forever young, oh May you stay Forever young
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