Weird Science s04e01 Episode Script

You'll make man? No.
Woman.
Now, use your electrical probe to stimulate the nerve endings, and you should see the frog's leg twitch.
The probe, Igor.
Yes, master.
They banned me from advanced algebra.
They mocked my work in wood shop.
I'll show those shortsighted barnies who's mad now.
More power.
Yes, master.
It's alive! Alive! Turn it off! Ahem.
Principal's office.
Now.
A week of detention? Nice going, frog boy.
You know what really bites? We created a woman out of thin air, but I'm flunking life science.
Too bad you can't turn Lisa in for your lab final.
If you did, I'd guarantee you'd get an A.
Nobody understands my genius.
There's gotta be somebody out there who can appreciate what we did by creating you.
Another mad genius, huh? One leaps to mind.
Do you remember asking for a wish? I don't remember asking for a wish.
A laboratory? Big, crackling electrical things? Mad genius? I think I know where we are.
Michael Jackson's ranch? Think about it.
You wanted to meet someone who could appreciate our creating Lisa.
So? So, there's only one other person who ever did what we did.
Frankenstein! [GROWLING.]
It's Frankenstein! It's Franken-- No.
The doctor is Frankenstein.
That's Frankenstein's monster.
[GROWLING.]
[WHIMPERING.]
Hey, guys.
Hanging with the mad genius? Newsflash, Frankenstein wasn't a real person.
And I don't remember his monster sucking up dust bunnies.
You said you wanted to meet someone who'd appreciate what you'd achieved by creating me, so I put you in a world where that person exists.
Frankenstein.
That's not Frankenstein.
That's Frankenstein's monster.
The doctor is Frankenstein? Yes.
I am Frankenstein.
And you are? Dr.
Frankenstein, we are students from the University of Vienna who have come to study your visionary experiments.
I see.
Creature, another [INAUDIBLE.]
for dinner.
And fire up the sauna.
I'm ready for my steam.
So, those narrow minded Philistines in Vienna have finally taken notice of my work, eh? A triumph such as yours could not be kept secret, Herr doctor.
Ah, yes.
Giving life to the creature.
That was my greatest achievement.
I had unlocked the secret of creation itself.
Odd headache that turned out to be.
My god! First you have the potty training, then you get the terrible twos, with the homicidal rampages.
Oh, fire bad.
Oh, drink good.
Mm.
Actually, doc, that's kind of why we came to see you.
We figured since you kind of blew it with leather face, that you might appreciate the creation that my fellow scientist, Dr.
Donnelly, and I whipped up.
You me to tell me that this lovely young lady is a being of your own construction? You betcha.
Incredible.
There are no sutures, no electrons.
She is flawless.
Hey! Tell me everything, Herr doctors.
This tiny machine channels the energies used to power your electrical woman? It's called a computer.
We made Lisa with it.
This is quite diverting, my young friends, but your creation is little more than a toy.
She has no real scientific value.
Oh? As opposed to Jeeves over there? I know you're not as stupid as he thinks you are.
I know I can get through to you.
These look awfully painful.
Do they hurt? [GROANING.]
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
Ha ha ha.
Perhaps you would care to put your creation to the test? A challenge, if you will, to see which is the superior creature? All in the name of science, of course.
Let's rock.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
We have a winner.
In your face, doc.
Into your cell, you pathetic failure! You have humiliated me for the last time! Why'd you treat him like that? Because he is obsolete! Obsolete? You're talking about a living being here.
Seven living beings, actually.
Morons, one and all.
But now I must salute the victors.
I'm truly humbled by your achievement.
Join me, and we shall discuss matters of science and philosophy.
Hope there's food.
Let me show you a little something I have been tinkering with.
Impressive, no? That depends.
What does it do? Allow me to demonstrate.
Stand back.
There you are.
A souvenir of your stay at Castle Frankenstein.
Uh, thanks.
I guess we should be hitting the road.
No! I mean, what is the rush? You have not yet met Ilsa.
Guten tag.
Ilsa, why don't you entertain them with your many exotic talents? Yeah, Herr doctor.
It would be my pleasure to show them a most wonderful time.
We don't need to leave right away, do we? Catch ya later, doc.
Incredible.
Ah! I see, the File menu executes the command functions, like so.
This isn't exactly what I had in mind.
Yeah, but it's still kind of a turn on.
Guys, we've gotta do something to help the poor creature.
Maybe we should get him some flavored chalk.
Fine.
If you're not gonna do anything, then I'll just have to take care of Doctor Frankenstein myself.
Lisa, are you OK? I don't know.
I tried to zap, and I got all light headed.
My magic's just gone.
What do you mean, gone? She means gone.
Impudent whelps.
You dared to think that your intellect was superior to mine? Huh? Creature, seize them.
Seize them.
[ROARING.]
Boy, that creature really doesn't like us.
Lisa, how you doing? I feel so weak.
He cut off access to most of my files.
I don't know how much longer I can exist without them.
Whoa.
Virtual reality.
Dr.
Frankenstein, you have to give me my computer back before it's too late.
You don't know what you're doing.
On the contrary, I know exactly what I am doing.
Creature? You make man? No.
Woman.
Keep trying, doc.
I hope your next invention's a Stairmaster.
What? She's beautiful.
Not some skinny mini like yours.
Creature, place Lisa on the slab.
What? By combining Lisa's energy force with my own power source, I will bring my perfect Fraulein to life.
Unfortunately your creature will be destroyed in the process, but hey, that's progress for you.
You don't need to destroy Lisa.
Just let us go and we'll help you.
Oh, it is too late to seek favor with me now.
You thought it amusing to mock me.
We shall see who has the last laugh now, funny boys.
Creature, I said put her on the slab! You don't have to do this.
You can stand up to him.
He master.
Behold as I prove yet again that I, Victor Frankenstein, am the greatest genius ever to walk among men! Know that.
Hm? Lis, hang on! What's happening? He's draining Lisa's life force to jump start his creature.
My goodness, [INAUDIBLE.]
, you are so skinny.
I will go now and make me the strudel and the schnitzel, and maybe later I'll let you take a peek at my ankle, yeah? Oh my god, she is perfect.
Lis? You OK? Lis? Is she-- Yes.
I'm afraid it took all her energy to give life to my new creation.
A pity to destroy one so lovely.
You look so tense.
It is because your trousers are too tight.
I will let out the inseam, yeah? Oh, yeah.
But Sarah, there's a time and place for everything, my pet.
You got your toy, Frankenstein.
Give us Lisa, and let us go home.
I think not.
My new creation should cause quite a sensational in Vienna, and I can't risk having you two around to disrupt my gloating.
I shall be taking this as well, as it has proven a most useful tool.
Farewell.
Take me too? You? Why should I spoil the moment of my greatest triumph by bringing along my most dismal failure? Go crush something.
It's all over.
We've lost her.
Don't give up.
I got a plan.
Hey, Mr.
Stitchy? Is that your head, or did somebody ralph down your neck? This is your plan? This is my plan.
There's a rumor going around the laboratory that the doctor left certain parts off.
You know, a bolt here, some nuts there.
[ROARING.]
You see? My plan.
I tricked the creature into knocking the door open for us.
That's great.
So how do we prevent the creature from knocking our heads off from us? Oh.
Well, my plan worked.
You take it from here, Wyatt.
Stop! Do you want to help Lisa? We're the only two guys who could save her.
Lisa nice.
Teach me peek a boo.
Peek a boo good.
Choke bad.
Fix her.
Think you can do it without a computer? Do we have a choice? I think that's everything.
Ready? I'm worried.
We're not exactly in our element here.
We belong here.
We captured the elusive spark of life from the vast nothingness.
We created a beautiful woman from that inky void, and we can do it again.
And maybe this time she'll shower with us! We've got full power! We gotta do it now! This will either fully restore Lisa's programming or turn her into toast.
Toast bad.
Lis, I don't know if you can hear me, and I know we don't have the slightest idea what the hell we're doing, but we're still going to try.
And if-- it doesn't work out, I just want you to know that the best wish you ever granted us was being our friend.
You OK? Yeah, yeah.
Something in my eye.
Mine too.
Take her up.
Hit it! More power! I think it's working.
Everything for myself.
Creature, have you seen my buggy-- ah-ha! Trying to steal my glory, are you? I swear in the name of science, you will rue the day that you ever met Dr.
Victor Frankenstei-- Power's dropping! We're losing her! Do something! She's alive! Alive! I love saying that.
Lis? Lisa, can you hear me? I smell toast.
Welcome back, Lis.
How do you feel? Kind of tingly.
But good.
You guys really came through.
It wasn't just us.
The creature helped a little.
The creature-- Oh, no! He saved you.
Poor creature.
He was feared and hated because no one understood him.
Although his appearance was hideous, his soul was pure.
He gave his life to save mine.
Oh, creature, I'll never forget you.
Uh, Lise? Can't you just, you know, zap him back to life? Oh, yeah.
Lisa? Hey, big guy.
Thanks for saving me.
Kiss? OK, but no tongue.
No, you imbecile! Bishop moves diagonally.
Diagonally.
Dr.
Frankenstein, we have come for your creation! Nein! He may be an abomination in the eyes of God, but I will not let you destroy him.
[INAUDIBLE.]
! Come on, no more sleeping! Your move, your move.
Your move.
THEME SONG: Weird Science.
Fantasy and microchips, shooting from the hip.
Something different will make it Weird Science.
Pictures from a magazine, bits and pieces.
Bits and pieces.
My creation, is it real? It's my creation.
I do not know.
It's my creation.
From my heart and from my hand, why don't people understand my intentions?