Ackley Bridge (2017) s04e02 Episode Script

Hey.
Someone's stolen my high vis
jacket from the staffroom.
Get another.
Another? Mine was Hugo Boss, bro !
WHEELS SCREECH
My car had the wheels
nicked off it last night.
We've been, like, majorly robbed!
- What?
- Robbed. Majorly.
Ugh!
POLICE CHATTER ON RADIO
Basically Cash & Carry for them Gypsies.
Na, not their style, bro.
Definitely the Murgatroyds.
- Hey, Sam, you lot been busy again?
- Oh, shut up, Zain.
You can point the finger at us, but
we don't dump on our own doorstep.
Unlike some I could mention.
If you've got something
to say, then say it!
Queenie, she's not worth it.
Don't rise to it.
Are you OK?
How's, erm, life in the hostel?
If we find anything
that works, we celebrate.
Now I have just been
talking to the police
and they have assured me they
will release the classrooms
as and when they have
finished their forensic tests.
OK. This is all. Thank you very much.
You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes.
Just follow the sprigs of
lucky heather across the field.
Thank you for your
contribution, Miss Carp.
Well, she's got a point, though.
They turn up and we're robbed.
- Look, I know what you're all thinking
- Ah, come on. It's pretty obvious, innit?
Let's just let the police
do their jobs, shall we?
OK?
Thank you very much. As you were.
Ken?
Did the police say anything about
getting shot of our visitors?
They can't move them.
Apparently we are the landlords,
so therefore it is our responsibility.
Right. This won't look
good at your interview
for Head Teacher, you know.
You've got to get a
grip on the situation.
With that thought in mind,
I thought, as a gesture
of bipartisan relations,
me being a candidate for
the post of head as well,
that we should all get our heads
together and come up with a solution
for our Romany guests.
- Good idea, Miss Carp.
- Sorry,
you've applied for the job as well?
Well, if Donald Trump can
scale the dizzy heights
of the international political arena
Make Ackley Great Again.
Greater, Mr Weaver, greater.
THEY CHUCKLE
He's not serious about
her for head, is he?
You didn't think you were
the only one, did you?
I may just be a teacher now,
but I can tell that Romany camp
is not doing you any favours.
Lorraine, school records,
where do we keep them?
Under lock and key.
I want everything on my desk.
Everything we've got,
please. As soon as possible.
Eager beaver.
- So?
- So, what?
- Johnny?
- Told you. Just a snog.
- I know that's what you said.
- And that's what I meant!
It's just you were all over each other.
It were a celebration, all right?
You came out on top,
we did it as a team,
it were youthful exuberance.
Have you never just felt exuberant?
Never really get that kind of chance.
Well, you know what, sometimes
you've got to make them.
Like, you never know when you
Oh, my God, Kayla. You
don't fancy him, do you?
As if. Not my type, you know that.
All right, girls!
Been trying to get hold of you.
I'm actually, uh, watching
my carbon foot print.
Did you know that hour
of idle chitchat a day
equals like one tonne of
CO2 emissions per year.
That's the equivalent of flying like
London to New York, economy class.
Sorry about that.
She's practically Greta
Thunberg these days.
Very aware of her emissions.
You know, I'm always
saying that she should go
They've taken my
computer, my dish washer
I can't do my morning wash. Ha!
Rashid, are you listening to me?
My mother is coming from Pakistan.
When? Why you not tell me
before? When's she coming?
- Thursday.
- This Thursday! And you're just telling me now?
- It's a bit quick
- Well, not for her.
There's more planning
gone into this than D-Day.
Yeah, well, why she
not tell you earlier?
Did we tell the Germans
we were invading?
I don't care about Germans,
we've got to get organised!
Make her feel like part
of the family, you know,
welcome and break the iceberg.
- Ice.
- I know, I am going to make a Mogul feast.
Push boat out.
I'll make my Tandoori Special!
You know, everyone says it
better than Madhur Jaffrey.
- Mm-hm.
- She is going to love me!
- Boom!
- HE CHUCKLES
Gaynor, I swear I am
trying to make this work.
We've been coming here for weeks.
We talk, you say, "I'm
trying", we go home,
nothing changes, and
then we're back here again
and it's the same thing
over and over and over!
You know it's not that simple!
What's important is we are here,
- and we are talking.
- No, Martin, the most important thing to me
is that our kids get their dad back,
I get my husband back!
We've come this far!
You know it's just work.
I don't even know what it is any more.
I don't even feel like
I know you any more.
Look, Gaynor, I know things
have been all over the place
I know that, I get it.
I know what I've been like.
I just need you to
give me one more chance.
Once more chance. That's all.
Once this head teacher
business is sorted,
I promise you, things will settle down.
Or will it just bring a
new set of problems with it?
HE SIGHS
Hey, Fizza, are we good?
Yeah. Why shouldn't we be?
Only I thought, you
know, Friday night ?
- Ah, yeah, look, about that.
- Erm,
- I think you're a really nice guy and that
- You're about to brush me off.
Let's just be friends,
eh? It's better that way.
I'm dead good at friends.
I was going to demonstrate my
signature sticky toffee pudding.
But we've no utensils,
the stock cupboard is bare
and the ovens have been stolen.
Sad when we've all worked so hard
to create a new culinary experience.
But these strangers, dead beats,
morally corrupt toe rags,
have come into our safe
space and stolen that from us.
- You can't say that, miss.
- Is that us you're talking about?
- I beg your pardon?
- You know, the strangers,
- the toe rags, the morally corrupt?
- If the cap fits, bro.
- That cap fits half the school.
- Nobody's accusing anyone, Kayla.
You've just practically
pointed the finger at us.
It's what everyone's thinking.
If I were you, I'd watch
what I was saying, mate.
I'll have no threats in my classroom.
You started it, miss.
Johnny, don't
THEY CLAMOUR
Hey, hey! Where are you off?
Go ask that Miss Carp.
- I'm asking you.
- She's just accused us of robbing the school
in front of the whole class!
Is that OK with you, is it?
Well, no, it's not. If
that's what she said,
that is totally
unacceptable in this school
and I will certainly be
reprimanding her for her behaviour.
- But you can't just walk off.
- You're not listening.
She felt comfortable saying it.
In this school.
Your all-inclusive school.
She said that to me.
Look, I understand what you're saying
and I am sorry she has upset you,
but people are angry.
You have to understand that
a lot of hard work by teachers
and students has been
deliberately destroyed.
So you think she had
the right to accuse us?
- I'm not saying that.
- They why say, "YOU have to understand"?
I meant we We, all
of us, have to understand
what an emotive issue this is. OK?
I've heard it all before
from every teacher I've had.
You can shove your school.
I'd rather be in care.
Johnny. Johnny!
DOG BARKS AND CHICKEN CLUCKS
Hello? Anybody there?
Hello!
- Can I help you with something?
- Uh, yeah, I'm looking for Johnny Cooper?
You won't find him
under there, will you?
- No. No, it's just, um
- Just what?
Wanted to search the place for yourself?
Look, here. No, no, no.
Don't stop there,
take a good, good look.
Oh, hang on.
Here you are.
Please, feel free to take a look inside!
That's not what I've come for.
Come on. Everybody out! Open your doors!
- Go and check them all out.
- What's going on?
Go on, tell him. Accuse him!
All right. There's been a spate
of robberies over the weekend.
Last night, the school was broken into,
- but that is not why I am here.
- As usual, he thinks it's us.
Of course he does. We're Gypsies.
It comes with the territory, Johnny.
I didn't say that, I just wanted
you to come back to school, Johnny.
For what?
What's he going to learn
at your school? Huh?
Distrust? Us travelling
people can learn that anywhere.
- If you could just let me explain
- We are here
because no man should
be expected to live
in these circumstances!
COUGHING
We need to be back
on our permanent site.
HE COUGHS
And you think we're concerned
about robbing your school?!
- Hey, Grandad!
- Look, if he's not well,
- he should get to hospital!
- Go away!
- He's having another heart attack.
- Call an ambulance, quick!
Come on, you've already done enough!
I said go!
Here we are, Mother.
- Budge up a bit.
- Saleem.
"Budge up a bit, please."
- Yeah.
- How rude.
Where is Tahir? Huh?
Saleem? Razia?
How do I know?
I never heard of him
till you dragged him home!
We'll manage. How about
we start without him?
OK.
We could have done all of
this at Rashid's apartment.
Yeah, but YOU hate cooking.
- I could have got caterers.
- Oh, no. I would have cooked.
You see? You can always find good help!
It's more welcoming to bring someone
into your own home, though, Ma-Ji. Hm?
By the way, you look lovely, Kaneez.
- Thanks.
-
Marvellous how this
modern polyester hangs.
Let's eat, huh? Bishmallah.
THEY CHUCKLE
I've got some stuff for your hostel.
- What are we doing here?
- Got tonnes of new gear in.
Kitchen stuff. Help yourself!
Give us a hand getting
one of these on here.
This is all from school.
So?
So I thought it wasn't our lot.
Everyone's blaming the Gypsies for this.
Nice one.
Not if you're a Gypsy, it's not.
It's a good cover, though.
Wha ? Ugh.
- You OK?
- Do I look it?
- Bit awkward.
- You think?!
I mean,
I let the Gypsies take blame
for something my family did.
Or I inform on them AGAIN!
Whey-hey! Sam does the
right thing and what happens?
I lose my mum, my girlfriend, my home!
And
What am I left with?
Just go home.
BEEPING
KNOCK AT DOOR
Johnny?
- Shall I turn the light on?
- No.
No, don't.
What are you doing here?
I wondered how your grandad was.
I brought a trifle.
They don't know.
He's hanging in there.
He's strong.
Well, he was.
HE SOBS
PHONE RINGS
Sir?
Sam. What the hell are you doing here?
It weren't the Gypsies
that robbed the school.
It were my grandad and the lads.
You sure?
Yeah.
It's all still in the lock-up, so
Look, I don't want to fight.
HE SIGHS
I owe you an apology.
Because I allowed myself to think
No, I blamed you.
I blamed you because
I wanted it to be you.
Because you all just turned up.
Because you're a pain in
the neck, quite frankly.
That's the most honest thing
you've said since I met you.
It was the Murgatroyds.
I've phoned the police.
They've been arrested.
DOOR OPENS
Grandad
Oh.
Well, come in, if you're coming in.
HE COUGHS
Ahem.
You all right?
It's a pre-existing condition.
So if it hadn't have been you,
it would have been something else.
But they say I can't travel now.
Spent my life travelling.
I was born on the road.
Settling down?
Ha.
You know, there's part of
me that'll go to my grave
still thinking, "That'll never happen."
Well, maybe you just need a bit of both.
Tell me, uh
Gypsies pride themselves on
making a good deal, right?
That depends on what's on the table.
How about the site open again?
You managed to do that?
Well, you've just got to know the
right people to lean on, haven't you?
So, tell me, what's in this for you
apart from getting us out of your hair?
Your Johnny.
Yeah, he's a really clever kid.
I mean, he's got potential.
But he's stubborn, and he
has no respect for authority.
So I get my Johnny to
stay in your school.
Mm-hm.
He is a natural born leader,
he's bright, he's intelligent.
Just think what he could
do if he had an education.
It's all very well saying that
budgeting has a negative impact
- on how you teach but what you got
- Look,
I'm sat here and I'm just telling you
all what you want to hear.
I'm talking about budgets
and facts and figures
that anyone who wants
this job has to know.
What do you mean, Mr Evershed?
I get that all that stuff
comes with the territory.
So why don't we talk about
something you don't want to?
Ha! I'm not with you, Martin.
You rarely are, Ken.
The Romany camp being a case in point.
Yeah, well, I hardly think
that's an issue to be brought up
- at your job interview.
- Look, I don't know what possessed you
to invite them into school.
Oh, no, actually, I
do. It was funding bumps
and pupil premiums. But I'm
glad you did invite them.
Because I got involved
and that meant I remembered
why it was I got into
teaching in the first place.
Now there's a really
bright Romany kid
Johnny, he's called, doesn't
trust me as far as he can throw me.
But he knows that this
school is his chance.
And that's why I am here, Ken.
I can show him.
Now I can be the head
that you want me to be.
But I also have to be the
head these kids NEED me to be.
Good morning, Johnny.
I, um
I ain't got a pen.
Ah.
It's a good one, that.
I think you'll put it to good use.
- You think so, sir?
- I hope so.
I'm not even going to
ask how you managed that.
Getting Johnny back into school.
You shouldn't have to, you're
the one person who'd know.
- Yeah, that's true.
- PHONE VIBRATES
I also know what a toll this can
take on your personal life, do you?
It's what we do, innit?
Don't do things by halves.
Well, now that was spoken like the
new head teacher of Ackley Bridge.
Congratulations you got the job.
Are you winding me up?
No, they asked me if I could tell you.
I thought about not telling you.
But then I thought,
"No, have it. Do it."
- I'm happy teaching.
- PHONE CHIMES
I'll leave you to it. You're busy.
ANSWERPHONE: You have one new
message. First new message.
GAYNOR: I've tried calling.
I'm sorry, I'm not going
to do this any more. Bye.
Chicken broth is really very good
to build up your grandad's strength.
I mean, he's looking quite peaky
and you've plenty of
free-range chickens about.
He considers them his friends, Kayla.
Greater love hath no chicken,
than to lay down his
life for his friends.
CHUCKLING: You're so weird!
If you think that's weird,
how about teaching
me how to ride Bandit?
Bandit?
Bandit's very particular.
- I'd have to speak to her first.
- Come on, I'm serious.
OK.
I I have to ask you something.
And I'm not sure how to say it.
Oh, God. Serious moment.
- What is it?
- You and Fizza best mates, yeah?
- Yeah.
- You wouldn't do owt' that might ruin that?
What do you mean?
What could you say that would do that?
You might think it's
betraying your friendship.
I don't want to come between yous.
It won't. We're bigger
than that. Just
Just say it.
What's she not seeing in me?
- Pardon?
- Fizza.
OK, we got off on the wrong foot,
but Saturday we clicked,
big time, yeah? I know it.
Now
Now I just don't get it.
Don't get me wrong, yeah,
I'm not desperate or owt'.
Why should you be?
- You've got your pick of the girls.
- Yeah, but I just like her.
Yeah. Yeah, of course you
do, there's a lot to like.
If you think of anything, you know,
that I'm doin' or am not doin'
Yeah, sure!
I'll put my thinking cap on.
So, Bandit will you teach me?
Sounds like a good deal.
Oh, come on.
Johnny, can you keep this
girl of yours in check!
You're not even married yet.
I could do with a little less
puffing and fluffing on my pillows,
- thank you.
- The sooner Johnny and me are married,
the sooner I'll be able to
look after you all the time.
You hear that, Johnny? She'll
be running the two of us soon.