Agatha Raisin (2016) s04e02 Episode Script
Love, Lies and Liquor
1
Well, howdy, stranger.
[ Laughs .]
There is something different about you, and I just can't put my finger on it.
[ Laughs .]
So, uh, is it a high five then, or do I get a hug? Of course, sorry.
I'm still slightly jet lagged.
Oh! [ Laughs .]
That's better.
I'm not entirely sure about your hat, though.
I can't have you upstaging me.
So, what's with the old lady car? Uh, courtesy car.
Mine's being fixed.
Ah.
- Hey! - Hi! How are you? Fairly average for a Wednesday, to be honest.
Congratulations again on the book tour's runaway success.
Thanks.
Still somewhat astonished.
Who knew that the yanks would be so into The Battle of Titley's Knob.
Uh, what's with the old lady car? I thought you'd be in a stretch limo now you're a big deal in America.
Afraid I'm not quite in that league.
Is that for a week? Well, I had to pack for every eventuality, didn't I? Seeing as you refused to tell me where it is that we're going.
Nice try.
But as I said on the phone, it's by the sea, and it's the most beautiful resort ever.
AGATHA: Oh, oh, oh.
Remember this is work.
You're just doing the PR for his new book.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
You got a dead body in here? Not yet, but there is time.
- Yes.
- Ooh.
Yeah, we might have to take Marilyn.
This is more of a city car.
- Good idea.
- But I'll drive.
So it's still a surprise.
I shall get the keys.
See you later.
See ya.
Oh.
[ Sighs .]
We near the airport yet? Not going to an airport.
Oh, traveling by boat, are we? You'll see.
Be there in no time.
BILL: Hey! They've added "Full Metal Jacket" and "Platoon.
" I'm thinking double bill Snoth-on-Sea?! I came here many times as a boy.
It's gorgeous.
You'll love it.
I thought this book was supposed to be about the Napoleonic Wars or such like.
I was rather hoping for Mauritius.
Ah, yes, those islands were indeed a key part of the conflict.
But Snoth has its own fascinating links.
Not least, buried treasure.
Gold brought back from Buenos Aires by Admiral Lloyd Snoth after the ill-conceived occupation of the Spanish River Plate.
Some say that there are rumors of him roaming the town in reincarnated form, guarding over his precious doubloons.
Or at the very least to Belgium! [ Indistinct shouting .]
Okay, so perhaps it was a mistake keeping the destination as a surprise.
Oh, ignore me.
I'm sure the hotel is charming.
Come on, let's get in.
That's the spirit.
[ Door opens .]
Roy-boy is back with a freshly wet Oh, sorry.
And, uh, gross.
Netflix and chill was it? Am I really the only one who doesn't know that's what it means? Unh-unh, there is someone else.
No, it's just you.
Are you, staying the week, are you, Roy? Absolutely! Oh, I've got it.
Netflix and Bill.
Get dressed, put "Drag Race" on, and open a window.
It absolutely stinks in here.
[ Sighs .]
[ Indistinct chatter, telephone ringing .]
Not what you expected then? It just seems smaller.
Not quite as glamorous as when I was here last.
Smaller? Oh, well, I suppose you are a big boy now, James.
[ Ring tone plays .]
Oh, oh.
Sorry about all this.
Um, welcome to The Palace Hotel.
We would like to check-in.
I think.
Of course.
What name is the reservation under? James Lacey and Agatha Raisin.
Uh, two rooms, please, Harry.
[ Chuckles .]
This is a work thing.
Sure.
Have you stayed with us before? I have.
But not for some time.
I have to say The Palace is looking a little more faded than last time.
Right.
What's with the protestors outside? Oh, that's just some locals making a mountain out of a molehill.
Uh, now I'll need a card for incidentals, if that's okay.
[ Birds squawking .]
Ooh, buzzing in here! JAMES: Yeah, it was touch and go if we'd get a table.
[ Laughs .]
You look lovely.
Room all right? Uh, yes.
Like you, it has a certain old school charm.
Glad to hear it.
G&T? Always.
JAMES: A gin and tonic please.
BARMAN: Certainly, sir.
Not sure about this seafood supreme.
You're playing Russian roulette there, Chelsea.
One bad prawn, and all bets is off.
[ Laughter .]
Oh, excuse me.
A bottle of dry white, please.
GERALDINE: Was the paella that ruined my last trip to Costa Brava.
It's an emergency.
GERALDINE: Yeah, I did! Maybe you're seafood intolerant, love.
Oh, don't talk nonsense, Brian.
Seafood intolerant my arse! [ Laughter .]
Nothing's that funny.
Apparently, it is.
I was brought up on cockles and whelks.
Ate 'em by the bucket load.
I bet you were! Why don't you mind your own business, you stuck up bitch! Oh, I would love to, so if you could stop broadcasting your entire conversation, that would be great.
Agatha.
Oh, where do you think you are, the Sistine Chapel? Just cause you two ain't got nothing else to say to each other, don't mean we don't! I hate to inform you, but being a loudmouth and actually having something to say are two entirely different things.
Agatha, just ignore her.
[ Sighs .]
I'm not having it.
- Go on, Wayne.
- Go on, tell her.
Go on, Wayne.
You need to teach your misses some manners.
Please go away.
Come on then, Billy Bigshot.
Outside, you and me, right now.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- Fine! I'll fight you in here then.
- Yeah! Go on! - Show him, Wayne.
Be right back.
Come on.
- Go on, Wayne.
- Go on.
Give him some! Go on, Wayne, give him one from me.
Aw, eating all alone now, are we? Serves you right for looking down your nose at me, you snobby cow! What exactly is your problem?! And if you touch me again, you will regret it.
Are you threatening me?! Yes, yes, I am.
So back off! - Come on then.
- Ooh! Ladies, please! This is The Palace! Relax, Marcia.
I'm just making a new holiday pal.
Everything's peachy.
[ Laughs .]
Okay.
[ Grunts .]
Seems like this whole fighting thing isn't really your forte? [ Grunts .]
Shall we call it a night before you do yourself a serious injury? [ Humming .]
[ Cellphone chimes .]
AGATHA: That family are a complete nightmare.
Believe it or not, Mr.
and Mrs.
Jankers are on their honeymoon.
- [ Gasps .]
- Hasn't stopped them from upsetting loads of other guests and the locals who use the bar, though.
Well, do you know the woman personally? No.
Can't you do something about them? The night they arrived, Mrs.
Jankers' son behaved so badly the police were called.
But our local plod wouldn't get involved.
Wasn't serious enough apparently.
Well, how long are they staying? Until the day after tomorrow.
Oh! In the meantime, we will comp your rooms.
- Oh.
- Thank you.
MARCIA: You're welcome.
Quite frankly, it's the least they could do.
[ Sighs .]
Shall we have dinner in town? Yes, you read my mind.
[ Door closes .]
Well I shall wager, another 60.
Match.
Too rich for me.
Okay, so, there's only a 1 in 221 chance that Roy or Charlie was dealt pocket aces.
So? But the odds of you guys getting three of a kind or a two pair on the river are far better.
So? And I reckon Charlie's just done that.
- So? - So I'm folding.
Thank you.
Could've said that sooner.
Let's see you then, Roy.
Hm.
Interesting.
However - Ah! - Two pairs.
I knew he had something.
Hi, everyone.
- Hey! - Hey! Oh, it's looking pretty even at the moment.
Except for Bill.
He's not much of a bluffer.
I'm getting better.
Read my face.
- Grab a seat, join the game.
- Oh, no.
Haven't played for ages.
I came to speak to Roy about the Cotswolds Clean Rivers crowd-funder.
- Much money coming in? - Barely a trickle.
I need your media savvy to give it a boost.
Consider it done.
Oh, come on, Sarah.
Live a little.
We could do with another honest face at the table.
But if I join now, it'll mess up your game.
Oh, it's only for fun, but be warned, Toni has learned all the poker stats before we even started.
And she's learned them verbatim.
Okay.
But I can't stay too long.
I've got an early service in the morning.
Newbie deals.
Oh, I played a few hands at Uni.
Right, let's talk strategies for the new book.
Stage one.
How you research.
Or we could just have a nice dinner.
The two of us.
No work.
Mm-hmm.
[ Sighs .]
There she is again.
Fold! But can you tell me what you had? What?! That is unholy, Vicar! Remind me never to play strip poker with you! ROY: So, that clean rivers crowd-funder? - Yeah? - Problem solved.
Ship you off to Vegas, and ka-ching! I can't play for real money.
The big man works in mysterious ways.
Maybe he'd be Cool UK with it.
I suppose hitting the high stakes poker tables at Caesars Palace would speed up the process a bit.
- Mm-hmm.
- Or, if you'd rather not fly, you could always come to my club in London, help a few chinless wonders fritter away their inheritance.
That's a very kind offer, Charles.
But I don't think my boss would approve.
Ooh! [ Laughs .]
No, no.
[ Laughter .]
Beauty before brawn.
Flatterer.
I'm glad I skipped those triple cooked duck fat chips now.
Why? They'd of brought us closer together.
That your old man, down there? - No.
- Oh, not too late then, eh? - [ Cellphone chimes .]
- Listen oh - Oh.
- Ah, I got to go.
Mm.
Me too.
Yeah, maybe I'll see you around.
At least the restaurant wasn't bad.
I have to say, I rather enjoyed the prawn cocktail.
And not even in an ironic way.
[ Laughs .]
Oh! Ooh.
My scarf.
Think I must have dropped it somewhere.
Any idea where? Well, I did leave the hotel dining room in rather a rush, so, it could be - I'll go and check.
- Oh, no, no, no.
You might bump into that awful family again, even more drunk and looking for trouble.
- Okay.
- Just leave it till the morning.
Probably wise.
So what's on the agenda for tomorrow then? Oh, right.
Yeah, the agenda.
Um, well, Snoth Castle ruins, where I believe the doubloons are buried.
[ Laughs .]
Good optics for the PR release.
I'll get some action shots of you dig, dig.
You do dig, do you? What? Hm? Night-night then.
Night.
[ Keys clatter .]
[ Door closes .]
[ Children laughing .]
[ Laughter continues .]
[ Ominous chord strikes .]
[ Snoring .]
[ Music playing .]
[ Cheering .]
[ Waves crashing .]
[ Bell tolls .]
Oh, sugar! [ Music plays .]
No more poker.
[ Bell tolling .]
[ Sighs .]
You have quit.
End of.
[ Seagulls crying .]
You know, life would be so much simpler if ruins had a post code.
Or we could use the Sat Nav.
There.
FEMALE OFFICER: I think.
Taser! Taser! Taser! Detective Inspector Barret.
Snoth CID.
Step away from the map.
I won't ask nicely again.
What the hell is going on here? Which one of you is Agatha Raisin? - That'd be me.
- Really? No! Not really! Then we need a tete-Ã -tete.
Oh, a tete-a-tete? Oh, sejours de quoi? A propos de quoi? Sur quoi? What? About what? The murder of Geraldine Jankers.
Recognize this scarf, Mrs.
Raisin? Yes.
It's mine.
I lost it.
How convenient.
When was that? Yesterday evening.
What is it doing in an evidence bag, Inspector? Mrs.
Jankers' body was found on the beach, strangled with the scarf you've just identified as yours.
Well, I'd imagine it's the most stylish thing she's ever had around her neck.
Though I'm sure anyone could've strangled her with it.
But only you were heard threatening the victim with violence, in the dining room of this hotel, shortly before her murder.
It's a door case, innit? What? Open and shut.
[ Scoffs .]
Come on, then.
Where were you between midnight and 4:00 a.
m.
? Asleep in my room.
And can your husband slash lover slash whatever confirm this? My slash colleague, James Lacey, walked me to my room at about 11:30.
And after that? No alibi for the rest of the night? N-no.
[ Mimes door closing .]
Right.
You're under arrest, which means, we're going to Dingbridge.
What? Why Dingbridge? Because since division closed our cells in Snoth that's where we take our suspects, but I'm fine with it.
I see.
And is it far? About 30 minutes, depending on traffic.
And if there's road works, which there are, especially on a cobbly bypass, you can't even go down the high street.
You said her body was found on the beach.
Well, I only ever met the woman once, very briefly.
And we took an instant dislike to each other.
Your point is? My point is, Inspector, how, pray tell, could I have persuaded Mrs.
Jankers to take a walk with me on the beach in the middle of the night? Hmm? Well, I'm assuming that none of her family mentioned that she was off for a moonlit stroll along the sands.
Inspector I happen to run a highly-respected detective agency, and in my professional opinion, this case is anything but open and shut.
Now, I don't think either of us want to go all the way to Dingbridge only to have to turn round and come all the way back.
[ Sighs .]
Think of the traffic.
[ Groans .]
Think of the road works.
Okay.
Further enquiries will be made.
But you're technically on police bail.
Understood? Understood.
And don't even dream about leaving my town.
Why would I when I have a murder to investigate? What was she doing down here, James? Meeting someone? A lover perhaps.
What? On her honeymoon? Mrs.
Jankers didn't strike me as the sentimental sort.
True.
Oh.
Right.
Who are you calling? Toni.
I think we need new faces to get cozy with the deceased's family, wiggle in and see what they can find out about them.
An undercover operation.
Exactly.
Running alongside my investigation.
But if you want to focus on your book No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, I can help you during the day and then write at night.
Be just like old times.
I was rather hoping you were going to say that.
It's when we're at our best, James.
Working on a case together.
Watson to your Holmes.
I rather like that.
[ Speaking indistinctly .]
Oh.
I guess she left through another door then, if the sign's accurate.
We should go to reception and see who was on duty after midnight.
Why don't I go and have a scout around and see how many other exits there are? Good idea.
[ Ring tone plays .]
Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs.
Raisin.
There's so much going on because of the, um, tragic death.
And but I'm glad you're here.
- You are? - Oh, definitely.
The police mentioned that you run a detective agency.
Indeed I do.
You knew Geraldine, didn't you, Marcia? Yes.
Geraldine was an old friend.
So why did you deny it when I asked you before? Because she called me out of the blue, wanting mate's rates, and this idiot agreed.
And, well, you saw how they behaved.
I did.
I was worried the hotel's owners would find out that I'd given them a deal and blame me for the trouble they were causing.
The hotel's owners want me to hire you to find out who killed her.
Why not just let the police deal with it? They're keen to get out ahead of the investigation to see if there are any liability issues that might affect a sale to Crescendo Casinos.
Oh, I see.
Right, well, I'll get my office to whiz a contract over.
But firstly, I need a list of all the guests that are staying here and who was on duty last night.
I have to ask.
Oh, sorry.
I'm meant to be wearing it on a charity run.
I thought I'd better try it on the treadmill in the hotel gym first, see if I overheat.
Terrible this business with Mrs.
Jankers.
Oh, yeah.
I was the one who found her.
Yeah, she was lying there, scarf flapping in the wind.
It was What time was that? HARRY: Just after 6:00.
I was on my morning run.
Were you on reception last night? Uh-huh.
Did you see her leave the hotel? No, but From 1:00 until about 5:00, I was asleep in the back office.
Enjoy your picnic.
[ Laughs .]
Here we go.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Is that man a guest? No.
He just uses the hotel gym.
Often? Whenever he wants.
Mr.
Miller's friendly with the hotel's owners.
He's in and out day and night.
Hm.
You're not ignoring me, are you? Oh, no, I was on the pho Hey, people will talk, though.
Let them! [ Both laugh .]
I'm Agatha.
Oh, Terry Miller.
So, you enjoying your stay at The Palace? Well, it's been a bit of a mixed bag, to be honest.
Yeah, I'm not surprised.
You're more of a Rodeo Drive than Snoth-on-Sea, eh? Oh, really? You think so? - [ Laughs .]
- Yeah.
You should come back in a couple of years, you know, when the casino's open.
Now that that'll be your scene.
Oh, so you're in favor of turning this place into a little piece of Vegas, are you? Oh, yeah, seeing as my firm is doing all the building work - on the project.
- Oh? Oh.
Trouble? Should I be worried? No, no.
No, it's my mum.
It's the name that she used to give.
It just stuck, that's all, yeah.
Hmm.
Uh, might this murder just hold things up a bit? I don't see why.
Well, as long as Friday's casino night goes as planned then, we're in business.
You should come along, see Snoth's future.
- Oh.
- You could - [ Cellphone chimes .]
- Oh.
Oh.
It's the architect.
He's at a house that I'm converting, asking me where am I.
Oh? Well, consider yourself invited.
You bet.
[ Chuckles .]
Trouble! [ Laughs .]
[ Glasses clink .]
You're joking.
They're still in there.
Harry Beam said that he locked the beach door at 11:00 p.
m.
, as usual.
He also said that there are alarms on all of the fire exits, so that if she left by one of them, he'd have known about it.
So, the deceased must have walked out through the main entrance and off to meet her fate.
[ Ring tone plays .]
Well, they've nailed the uniform.
They certainly have.
[ Keys tapping, cellphone chimes .]
[ Clears throat .]
Right, I think we should go and have a talk with Brian Jankers, Geraldine's husband.
He was on the terrace not long ago.
Service! [ Belches .]
You're gross, Roy.
Just getting into character.
Right.
How's my accent? Very good! Wait, are we doing accents? - Well, I thought it - [ Glass thuds .]
Alright, mate! Not exactly Magaluf, is it? I'll say.
No foam parties then.
Foam parties? The bar shuts at half 10:00 unless you kick off about it.
You're havin' a laugh! Here you are, mate.
I'll have a Pint of Kronenbourg, yeah, large Chardonnay, and whatever this fella and his misses is drinking.
That's decent of you, mate, but we'll get our own.
I insist.
Just came into some serious Emperor Ming.
Oy, Cyclops, packet of cheese and onion, as well, yeah? [ Seagulls crying .]
Agatha Raisin, private detective.
The hotel have asked my associate Mr.
Lacey and myself to investigate what happened to your wife, Mr.
Jankers.
You're the woman who threatened her.
That was all a bit of a misunderstanding and a momentary loss of my own dignity.
Stay away from me.
Agatha.
Maybe he needs some more time.
It's been like one of those nightmare holiday shows.
Murdered on the beach.
It's hard to believe it could happen to Mum.
CHELSEA: And now the rozzers want us to stay on at the hotel till it's further investigated or something.
That's just taking the piiiiiiiiiiiiss.
All I want is to go home.
Course you do, Wayne.
Can never trust the filth, right? Mm.
Here, here.
Bottoms up.
I mean cheers! So were you and his mum close then? [ Scoffs .]
Are you joking? Geraldine was a manipulative old tart! [ Laughs .]
She had Wayne wrapped around her little finger.
Just like all the other men in her life.
Really? - [ Cellphone chimes .]
- Mm-hmm.
Must be awful for Wayne, though.
You know, losing his mum at that age.
Yeah, poor Wayne.
AGATHA: Why here? Not another fond memory, is it? JAMES: No.
Don't want to blow their cover.
Stay away from the hotel.
ROY: Nice to see a bit of proper tradition! Punch and Judy by the seaside.
Bring it on! Oh, Roy, you smell like a brewery.
It was quite a heavy afternoon session.
They can really knock it back.
So what'd you learn? Well, for starters, Geraldine Jankers has been married four times.
Good God! Hard enough to believe she could get one man to pop the question.
Well, her first, Wayne's father, was killed 20 years ago after a calibration error at a canning factory caused an explosion.
- What? - I don't know.
She divorced husband 2, Ronnie Black, after he was sent to prison.
Oh, prison.
Now that's interesting.
And then there was a short marriage to an Archie Uh, Swale.
TONI: Swale.
Archie Swale.
Who she traded in for Brian Jankers couple of months ago after they met online.
It's bit of a whirlwind romance then.
Here we go! Here we go! Here we Oh, Roy! You don't need to stay in character.
Look around.
There's no one here.
Sorry.
I went a bit method.
According to Wayne, the penultimate hubby, Archie Swale, took the breakup particularly badly, and he only lives about 15 miles up the coast in Mudhaven.
Well, does anyone know what this Ronnie Black did, why he was in prison.
I mean, is he still serving time? - I don't know.
- Don't know.
Right.
I'll phone Bill.
Our new mates invited us to join them and Brian Jankers for dinner.
Right, come on! Action stations! [ Groans .]
Now, I need you two to talk to Brian, see what you can find out about his wife and her final night.
Right, come along.
What are you doing? That way! Go! Go! Alright, alright.
- Don't follow us.
- Alright, alright.
They're following us.
- Ah! - Hello, boys and girls.
- Have you been good? - That way? Ah! TONI: Roy! Would you believe Are you sure about this? Yes, absolutely.
Listen, we'll be back in Snoth before anyone's noticed we've gone.
Mr.
Archie Swale? Yes.
What is it? We've been asked to investigate the death of your ex-wife, Geraldine.
Well, that's got nothing to do with me.
Oh, we just want to know what kind of person she was.
That's all.
Oh.
Bad hip? ARCHIE: Shocking.
Waiting for a new one.
- Take a seat.
- Thank you.
[ Sighs .]
So, where did you two meet? On the train.
Geraldine sat next to me.
She was friendly, she seemed kind.
And I fell for her.
As soon as we were married, she changed.
I'd never met that son of hers, not until the wedding day.
But within weeks, he was living with us.
- Not what you had in mind.
- No! Then Wayne stole a gold lighter that belonged to my father, plus some other valuable things.
Geraldine refused to believe it.
Hm, you should've heard her scream at me for accusing her precious boy.
She gave Wayne everything, spoiled him, but it was never enough.
That little shower probably did her in.
And how did you feel when she left? Honestly? Relieved.
Did she ever talk about her second husband, Ronnie Black? Never.
Actually, no.
Once, when she was drunk New Year's Eve, as we walked past some very expensive looking Bond Street jeweler.
Can you remember what she said? Well, something about the store being right up her ex-husband's street.
Oh? Well, what do you think she meant by that? ARCHIE: That he was rich.
Bought her shiny things.
She loved money.
Ah.
So Geraldine never mentioned to you that Ronnie Black had been in prison, then? No, but that doesn't surprise me.
Is this your Distinguished Service Medal? Which brigade? Royal Marines.
AGATHA: I think we can safely eliminate him from the list.
There is absolutely no way that he could have strangled that tough old boot.
Not with that bad hip and her figure.
Don't be so sure.
Once a Commando, always a Commando.
They're lethal.
Even with a dodgy hip.
I made it clear as crystal meth that you were not to leave town whilst you remained a suspect.
Isn't crystal meth cloudy? What makes you think that she did? We had a call from a Mr.
Archie Swale, checking that you were who you says you were.
So, you've gone and broken the conditions of your police bail.
Well, I thought I was only technically on bail.
Then you'll only technically be fitted with this little beauty.
Janet.
You seriously don't expect me to wear that hideous looking thing, do you? It's the Chav Nav or the Chockie.
Your choice.
Alright.
Get on with it then! [ Groans .]
An actual sadist designed this in order to be as uncomfortable as possible.
Keys to our best suite.
Yet another cancelled booking.
Figure it'll make a good center of operations for you to work out of.
Thanks.
That'll help.
It's Goldenballs started it really.
Turning footballers into models and How's your food, Mr.
Jankers? Beckham's got a lot to answer for.
He was fit, though.
As in like you know, athletic.
I love your necklace, Chelsea.
It's it's well bling.
Aw, innit? Wayne just gave it to me.
- [ Thud .]
- Ow! Well, obviously, it's just costume.
Got things to take care of.
You coming, Brian? I think I'll stay for pudding.
ROY: See you later, mate! You're the big geezer! What do you do for a living then, Brian? I own a small chain of dress shops.
TONI: Oh? Did your wife run them with you? [ Chuckles .]
No, but, um, I think the shops were one of the reasons she was attracted to me.
She was very fashion conscious.
Nice.
It's my fault, you know? If I hadn't have taken that sleeping pill, I'd have heard Geraldine go out, you know? Might have even been able to stop her.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Where do you think she was going that night? I've been asking myself that, love.
It's a mystery.
What will you do now? Go back to work, once the police let us leave.
Not tempted to take some time off? Can't afford it, lad.
The wedding and the honeymoon weren't cheap.
On top of that, I promised Geraldine I'd pay Wayne and Chelsea's bill.
Even after inheriting his mother's estate, I bet he won't chip in.
[ Pounds table .]
[ Beer splashes .]
So, Brian Jankers wasn't happy about Wayne inheriting, which makes me think there might be a decent amount.
Oh, do you think Wayne might tell you how much? Doubt it.
I think I've blown my cover and not in a good way.
Well, comments like that get you blown in the first place, so to speak.
If only it was that easy.
But hang on, he did say something in the bar about coming into some "serious" - Emperor Ming? - Emperor Ming.
- Bling.
- Bling.
Oh, did he now? Wayne got super edgy when I complimented Chelsea's necklace.
Yeah, and she made a big deal about it being costume jewelry.
But the way those diamonds sparkled makes me think they're pretty legit.
I mean, I can't help but wonder why she'd lie.
Do you remember what Archie Swale said about his ex wife outside the jewelry shop on New Year's Eve.
Maybe Ronnie Black is a thief? The smash and grab kind.
Maybe it's all connected.
[ Music playing on television .]
[ Telephone rings .]
[ Televisions shuts off, telephone ringing .]
Hey, you.
Hey.
Are you all right? Oh, hi, everyone.
Sorry.
The dog's really sick.
The dog? Bill? Have you heard anything back from the prison service about Ronnie Black? BILL: Not yet.
I looked him up on the PNC like you asked.
Turns out Mr.
Black went down for armed robbery.
Did he stick up a jewelry store? Yeah.
Carter's of Chiswick in 2010.
I don't suppose you know if any of this jewelry was ever recovered, do you? Hold on a minute, is that my Naked Man statue? Um, I do, and it wasn't, and Are you in my house, Bill?! Oh, uh, the wifi signal's cutting AGATHA: Bill! Cut, cut, dropping.
Sorry, Agatha.
Bye! [ Music plays on television .]
[ Sighs .]
Come on, Bluey! What if Geraldine was holding on to the jewelry for her jailbird ex.
Or simply knew its location, and that was what got her killed? Yeah, but Chelsea let slip that Wayne had only just given her the necklace.
Maybe the necklace was one of the stolen pieces.
Oh, I'd like to see this necklace! Well, I doubt Wayne's gonna let her wear that out in public for a while.
Mnh-mnh.
So, we break into their room and photograph the necklace and any other jewelry.
Then check to see if it matches with what's been stolen.
An operation like that, it'll need to be planned with military precision.
Roy, get the floor plan.
Ooh, we could do it when Wayne and Chelsea go down for breakfast' cause it'd be easy to keep an eye on her.
Good idea! Pick your poison.
Agatha, you cover the lobby stairs.
I'll watch the dining room.
Toni, find a cleaner with a master key.
Roy runs interference.
Chelsea's cookies, and Wayne's nuts.
[ Typing .]
[ Mouse clicks .]
[ Children laughing .]
[ Ominous chord strikes .]
[ Birds squawking .]
[ Telephone rings .]
Well, I see you've fixed the wifi.
BILL: Uh, so the prison service got back to me.
While serving his original sentence, Ronnie Black brutally attacked two inmates, causing them serious injuries.
But then, a fortnight ago, he was released years earlier than planned, due to a terminal illness.
- Bill, I have to go.
- Is Toni okay? TONI: Ooh, sorry.
I was just a bit peckish.
- Aggie! - Psst! Here! Right, we won't have long until she finishes the room and notices it's missing.
Roy's gonna distract her once she's done.
Try and buy us some more time.
Excellent teamwork.
[ Cellphone dinging .]
Wayne's on his way back up! Ah! Wait, wait.
Round the corner, round the corner.
[ Grunts .]
Sorry! [ Man screams .]
[ Thud, clattering .]
That didn't sound good.
No, It did not.
But I think we should go and have a look.
What? No, no, no, no, no.
Or we could just sort of stay here.
I've got biscuits.
Biscuits?! We're in the middle of an emergency! No, no, no, but, I'm pretty sure the rule is don't head towards any type of screaming in creepy old hotels.
I'm pretty sure the rule is we do.
[ Ring tone playing .]
[ Ring tone playing .]
Is is that [ Screams .]
[ Ring tone playing .]
AGATHA: I think he's probably dead.
[ Alarm ringing .]
I think we should probably evacuate.
[ Alarm ringing .]
[ Electricity crackles .]
[ Loud thud .]
[ Gasps .]
[ Groans .]
[ Alarm ringing .]
Roy! Where's Agatha? She's here.
She was right behind me.
[ Laughs .]
There is something different about you, and I just can't put my finger on it.
[ Laughs .]
So, uh, is it a high five then, or do I get a hug? Of course, sorry.
I'm still slightly jet lagged.
Oh! [ Laughs .]
That's better.
I'm not entirely sure about your hat, though.
I can't have you upstaging me.
So, what's with the old lady car? Uh, courtesy car.
Mine's being fixed.
Ah.
- Hey! - Hi! How are you? Fairly average for a Wednesday, to be honest.
Congratulations again on the book tour's runaway success.
Thanks.
Still somewhat astonished.
Who knew that the yanks would be so into The Battle of Titley's Knob.
Uh, what's with the old lady car? I thought you'd be in a stretch limo now you're a big deal in America.
Afraid I'm not quite in that league.
Is that for a week? Well, I had to pack for every eventuality, didn't I? Seeing as you refused to tell me where it is that we're going.
Nice try.
But as I said on the phone, it's by the sea, and it's the most beautiful resort ever.
AGATHA: Oh, oh, oh.
Remember this is work.
You're just doing the PR for his new book.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
You got a dead body in here? Not yet, but there is time.
- Yes.
- Ooh.
Yeah, we might have to take Marilyn.
This is more of a city car.
- Good idea.
- But I'll drive.
So it's still a surprise.
I shall get the keys.
See you later.
See ya.
Oh.
[ Sighs .]
We near the airport yet? Not going to an airport.
Oh, traveling by boat, are we? You'll see.
Be there in no time.
BILL: Hey! They've added "Full Metal Jacket" and "Platoon.
" I'm thinking double bill Snoth-on-Sea?! I came here many times as a boy.
It's gorgeous.
You'll love it.
I thought this book was supposed to be about the Napoleonic Wars or such like.
I was rather hoping for Mauritius.
Ah, yes, those islands were indeed a key part of the conflict.
But Snoth has its own fascinating links.
Not least, buried treasure.
Gold brought back from Buenos Aires by Admiral Lloyd Snoth after the ill-conceived occupation of the Spanish River Plate.
Some say that there are rumors of him roaming the town in reincarnated form, guarding over his precious doubloons.
Or at the very least to Belgium! [ Indistinct shouting .]
Okay, so perhaps it was a mistake keeping the destination as a surprise.
Oh, ignore me.
I'm sure the hotel is charming.
Come on, let's get in.
That's the spirit.
[ Door opens .]
Roy-boy is back with a freshly wet Oh, sorry.
And, uh, gross.
Netflix and chill was it? Am I really the only one who doesn't know that's what it means? Unh-unh, there is someone else.
No, it's just you.
Are you, staying the week, are you, Roy? Absolutely! Oh, I've got it.
Netflix and Bill.
Get dressed, put "Drag Race" on, and open a window.
It absolutely stinks in here.
[ Sighs .]
[ Indistinct chatter, telephone ringing .]
Not what you expected then? It just seems smaller.
Not quite as glamorous as when I was here last.
Smaller? Oh, well, I suppose you are a big boy now, James.
[ Ring tone plays .]
Oh, oh.
Sorry about all this.
Um, welcome to The Palace Hotel.
We would like to check-in.
I think.
Of course.
What name is the reservation under? James Lacey and Agatha Raisin.
Uh, two rooms, please, Harry.
[ Chuckles .]
This is a work thing.
Sure.
Have you stayed with us before? I have.
But not for some time.
I have to say The Palace is looking a little more faded than last time.
Right.
What's with the protestors outside? Oh, that's just some locals making a mountain out of a molehill.
Uh, now I'll need a card for incidentals, if that's okay.
[ Birds squawking .]
Ooh, buzzing in here! JAMES: Yeah, it was touch and go if we'd get a table.
[ Laughs .]
You look lovely.
Room all right? Uh, yes.
Like you, it has a certain old school charm.
Glad to hear it.
G&T? Always.
JAMES: A gin and tonic please.
BARMAN: Certainly, sir.
Not sure about this seafood supreme.
You're playing Russian roulette there, Chelsea.
One bad prawn, and all bets is off.
[ Laughter .]
Oh, excuse me.
A bottle of dry white, please.
GERALDINE: Was the paella that ruined my last trip to Costa Brava.
It's an emergency.
GERALDINE: Yeah, I did! Maybe you're seafood intolerant, love.
Oh, don't talk nonsense, Brian.
Seafood intolerant my arse! [ Laughter .]
Nothing's that funny.
Apparently, it is.
I was brought up on cockles and whelks.
Ate 'em by the bucket load.
I bet you were! Why don't you mind your own business, you stuck up bitch! Oh, I would love to, so if you could stop broadcasting your entire conversation, that would be great.
Agatha.
Oh, where do you think you are, the Sistine Chapel? Just cause you two ain't got nothing else to say to each other, don't mean we don't! I hate to inform you, but being a loudmouth and actually having something to say are two entirely different things.
Agatha, just ignore her.
[ Sighs .]
I'm not having it.
- Go on, Wayne.
- Go on, tell her.
Go on, Wayne.
You need to teach your misses some manners.
Please go away.
Come on then, Billy Bigshot.
Outside, you and me, right now.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- Fine! I'll fight you in here then.
- Yeah! Go on! - Show him, Wayne.
Be right back.
Come on.
- Go on, Wayne.
- Go on.
Give him some! Go on, Wayne, give him one from me.
Aw, eating all alone now, are we? Serves you right for looking down your nose at me, you snobby cow! What exactly is your problem?! And if you touch me again, you will regret it.
Are you threatening me?! Yes, yes, I am.
So back off! - Come on then.
- Ooh! Ladies, please! This is The Palace! Relax, Marcia.
I'm just making a new holiday pal.
Everything's peachy.
[ Laughs .]
Okay.
[ Grunts .]
Seems like this whole fighting thing isn't really your forte? [ Grunts .]
Shall we call it a night before you do yourself a serious injury? [ Humming .]
[ Cellphone chimes .]
AGATHA: That family are a complete nightmare.
Believe it or not, Mr.
and Mrs.
Jankers are on their honeymoon.
- [ Gasps .]
- Hasn't stopped them from upsetting loads of other guests and the locals who use the bar, though.
Well, do you know the woman personally? No.
Can't you do something about them? The night they arrived, Mrs.
Jankers' son behaved so badly the police were called.
But our local plod wouldn't get involved.
Wasn't serious enough apparently.
Well, how long are they staying? Until the day after tomorrow.
Oh! In the meantime, we will comp your rooms.
- Oh.
- Thank you.
MARCIA: You're welcome.
Quite frankly, it's the least they could do.
[ Sighs .]
Shall we have dinner in town? Yes, you read my mind.
[ Door closes .]
Well I shall wager, another 60.
Match.
Too rich for me.
Okay, so, there's only a 1 in 221 chance that Roy or Charlie was dealt pocket aces.
So? But the odds of you guys getting three of a kind or a two pair on the river are far better.
So? And I reckon Charlie's just done that.
- So? - So I'm folding.
Thank you.
Could've said that sooner.
Let's see you then, Roy.
Hm.
Interesting.
However - Ah! - Two pairs.
I knew he had something.
Hi, everyone.
- Hey! - Hey! Oh, it's looking pretty even at the moment.
Except for Bill.
He's not much of a bluffer.
I'm getting better.
Read my face.
- Grab a seat, join the game.
- Oh, no.
Haven't played for ages.
I came to speak to Roy about the Cotswolds Clean Rivers crowd-funder.
- Much money coming in? - Barely a trickle.
I need your media savvy to give it a boost.
Consider it done.
Oh, come on, Sarah.
Live a little.
We could do with another honest face at the table.
But if I join now, it'll mess up your game.
Oh, it's only for fun, but be warned, Toni has learned all the poker stats before we even started.
And she's learned them verbatim.
Okay.
But I can't stay too long.
I've got an early service in the morning.
Newbie deals.
Oh, I played a few hands at Uni.
Right, let's talk strategies for the new book.
Stage one.
How you research.
Or we could just have a nice dinner.
The two of us.
No work.
Mm-hmm.
[ Sighs .]
There she is again.
Fold! But can you tell me what you had? What?! That is unholy, Vicar! Remind me never to play strip poker with you! ROY: So, that clean rivers crowd-funder? - Yeah? - Problem solved.
Ship you off to Vegas, and ka-ching! I can't play for real money.
The big man works in mysterious ways.
Maybe he'd be Cool UK with it.
I suppose hitting the high stakes poker tables at Caesars Palace would speed up the process a bit.
- Mm-hmm.
- Or, if you'd rather not fly, you could always come to my club in London, help a few chinless wonders fritter away their inheritance.
That's a very kind offer, Charles.
But I don't think my boss would approve.
Ooh! [ Laughs .]
No, no.
[ Laughter .]
Beauty before brawn.
Flatterer.
I'm glad I skipped those triple cooked duck fat chips now.
Why? They'd of brought us closer together.
That your old man, down there? - No.
- Oh, not too late then, eh? - [ Cellphone chimes .]
- Listen oh - Oh.
- Ah, I got to go.
Mm.
Me too.
Yeah, maybe I'll see you around.
At least the restaurant wasn't bad.
I have to say, I rather enjoyed the prawn cocktail.
And not even in an ironic way.
[ Laughs .]
Oh! Ooh.
My scarf.
Think I must have dropped it somewhere.
Any idea where? Well, I did leave the hotel dining room in rather a rush, so, it could be - I'll go and check.
- Oh, no, no, no.
You might bump into that awful family again, even more drunk and looking for trouble.
- Okay.
- Just leave it till the morning.
Probably wise.
So what's on the agenda for tomorrow then? Oh, right.
Yeah, the agenda.
Um, well, Snoth Castle ruins, where I believe the doubloons are buried.
[ Laughs .]
Good optics for the PR release.
I'll get some action shots of you dig, dig.
You do dig, do you? What? Hm? Night-night then.
Night.
[ Keys clatter .]
[ Door closes .]
[ Children laughing .]
[ Laughter continues .]
[ Ominous chord strikes .]
[ Snoring .]
[ Music playing .]
[ Cheering .]
[ Waves crashing .]
[ Bell tolls .]
Oh, sugar! [ Music plays .]
No more poker.
[ Bell tolling .]
[ Sighs .]
You have quit.
End of.
[ Seagulls crying .]
You know, life would be so much simpler if ruins had a post code.
Or we could use the Sat Nav.
There.
FEMALE OFFICER: I think.
Taser! Taser! Taser! Detective Inspector Barret.
Snoth CID.
Step away from the map.
I won't ask nicely again.
What the hell is going on here? Which one of you is Agatha Raisin? - That'd be me.
- Really? No! Not really! Then we need a tete-Ã -tete.
Oh, a tete-a-tete? Oh, sejours de quoi? A propos de quoi? Sur quoi? What? About what? The murder of Geraldine Jankers.
Recognize this scarf, Mrs.
Raisin? Yes.
It's mine.
I lost it.
How convenient.
When was that? Yesterday evening.
What is it doing in an evidence bag, Inspector? Mrs.
Jankers' body was found on the beach, strangled with the scarf you've just identified as yours.
Well, I'd imagine it's the most stylish thing she's ever had around her neck.
Though I'm sure anyone could've strangled her with it.
But only you were heard threatening the victim with violence, in the dining room of this hotel, shortly before her murder.
It's a door case, innit? What? Open and shut.
[ Scoffs .]
Come on, then.
Where were you between midnight and 4:00 a.
m.
? Asleep in my room.
And can your husband slash lover slash whatever confirm this? My slash colleague, James Lacey, walked me to my room at about 11:30.
And after that? No alibi for the rest of the night? N-no.
[ Mimes door closing .]
Right.
You're under arrest, which means, we're going to Dingbridge.
What? Why Dingbridge? Because since division closed our cells in Snoth that's where we take our suspects, but I'm fine with it.
I see.
And is it far? About 30 minutes, depending on traffic.
And if there's road works, which there are, especially on a cobbly bypass, you can't even go down the high street.
You said her body was found on the beach.
Well, I only ever met the woman once, very briefly.
And we took an instant dislike to each other.
Your point is? My point is, Inspector, how, pray tell, could I have persuaded Mrs.
Jankers to take a walk with me on the beach in the middle of the night? Hmm? Well, I'm assuming that none of her family mentioned that she was off for a moonlit stroll along the sands.
Inspector I happen to run a highly-respected detective agency, and in my professional opinion, this case is anything but open and shut.
Now, I don't think either of us want to go all the way to Dingbridge only to have to turn round and come all the way back.
[ Sighs .]
Think of the traffic.
[ Groans .]
Think of the road works.
Okay.
Further enquiries will be made.
But you're technically on police bail.
Understood? Understood.
And don't even dream about leaving my town.
Why would I when I have a murder to investigate? What was she doing down here, James? Meeting someone? A lover perhaps.
What? On her honeymoon? Mrs.
Jankers didn't strike me as the sentimental sort.
True.
Oh.
Right.
Who are you calling? Toni.
I think we need new faces to get cozy with the deceased's family, wiggle in and see what they can find out about them.
An undercover operation.
Exactly.
Running alongside my investigation.
But if you want to focus on your book No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, I can help you during the day and then write at night.
Be just like old times.
I was rather hoping you were going to say that.
It's when we're at our best, James.
Working on a case together.
Watson to your Holmes.
I rather like that.
[ Speaking indistinctly .]
Oh.
I guess she left through another door then, if the sign's accurate.
We should go to reception and see who was on duty after midnight.
Why don't I go and have a scout around and see how many other exits there are? Good idea.
[ Ring tone plays .]
Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs.
Raisin.
There's so much going on because of the, um, tragic death.
And but I'm glad you're here.
- You are? - Oh, definitely.
The police mentioned that you run a detective agency.
Indeed I do.
You knew Geraldine, didn't you, Marcia? Yes.
Geraldine was an old friend.
So why did you deny it when I asked you before? Because she called me out of the blue, wanting mate's rates, and this idiot agreed.
And, well, you saw how they behaved.
I did.
I was worried the hotel's owners would find out that I'd given them a deal and blame me for the trouble they were causing.
The hotel's owners want me to hire you to find out who killed her.
Why not just let the police deal with it? They're keen to get out ahead of the investigation to see if there are any liability issues that might affect a sale to Crescendo Casinos.
Oh, I see.
Right, well, I'll get my office to whiz a contract over.
But firstly, I need a list of all the guests that are staying here and who was on duty last night.
I have to ask.
Oh, sorry.
I'm meant to be wearing it on a charity run.
I thought I'd better try it on the treadmill in the hotel gym first, see if I overheat.
Terrible this business with Mrs.
Jankers.
Oh, yeah.
I was the one who found her.
Yeah, she was lying there, scarf flapping in the wind.
It was What time was that? HARRY: Just after 6:00.
I was on my morning run.
Were you on reception last night? Uh-huh.
Did you see her leave the hotel? No, but From 1:00 until about 5:00, I was asleep in the back office.
Enjoy your picnic.
[ Laughs .]
Here we go.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Is that man a guest? No.
He just uses the hotel gym.
Often? Whenever he wants.
Mr.
Miller's friendly with the hotel's owners.
He's in and out day and night.
Hm.
You're not ignoring me, are you? Oh, no, I was on the pho Hey, people will talk, though.
Let them! [ Both laugh .]
I'm Agatha.
Oh, Terry Miller.
So, you enjoying your stay at The Palace? Well, it's been a bit of a mixed bag, to be honest.
Yeah, I'm not surprised.
You're more of a Rodeo Drive than Snoth-on-Sea, eh? Oh, really? You think so? - [ Laughs .]
- Yeah.
You should come back in a couple of years, you know, when the casino's open.
Now that that'll be your scene.
Oh, so you're in favor of turning this place into a little piece of Vegas, are you? Oh, yeah, seeing as my firm is doing all the building work - on the project.
- Oh? Oh.
Trouble? Should I be worried? No, no.
No, it's my mum.
It's the name that she used to give.
It just stuck, that's all, yeah.
Hmm.
Uh, might this murder just hold things up a bit? I don't see why.
Well, as long as Friday's casino night goes as planned then, we're in business.
You should come along, see Snoth's future.
- Oh.
- You could - [ Cellphone chimes .]
- Oh.
Oh.
It's the architect.
He's at a house that I'm converting, asking me where am I.
Oh? Well, consider yourself invited.
You bet.
[ Chuckles .]
Trouble! [ Laughs .]
[ Glasses clink .]
You're joking.
They're still in there.
Harry Beam said that he locked the beach door at 11:00 p.
m.
, as usual.
He also said that there are alarms on all of the fire exits, so that if she left by one of them, he'd have known about it.
So, the deceased must have walked out through the main entrance and off to meet her fate.
[ Ring tone plays .]
Well, they've nailed the uniform.
They certainly have.
[ Keys tapping, cellphone chimes .]
[ Clears throat .]
Right, I think we should go and have a talk with Brian Jankers, Geraldine's husband.
He was on the terrace not long ago.
Service! [ Belches .]
You're gross, Roy.
Just getting into character.
Right.
How's my accent? Very good! Wait, are we doing accents? - Well, I thought it - [ Glass thuds .]
Alright, mate! Not exactly Magaluf, is it? I'll say.
No foam parties then.
Foam parties? The bar shuts at half 10:00 unless you kick off about it.
You're havin' a laugh! Here you are, mate.
I'll have a Pint of Kronenbourg, yeah, large Chardonnay, and whatever this fella and his misses is drinking.
That's decent of you, mate, but we'll get our own.
I insist.
Just came into some serious Emperor Ming.
Oy, Cyclops, packet of cheese and onion, as well, yeah? [ Seagulls crying .]
Agatha Raisin, private detective.
The hotel have asked my associate Mr.
Lacey and myself to investigate what happened to your wife, Mr.
Jankers.
You're the woman who threatened her.
That was all a bit of a misunderstanding and a momentary loss of my own dignity.
Stay away from me.
Agatha.
Maybe he needs some more time.
It's been like one of those nightmare holiday shows.
Murdered on the beach.
It's hard to believe it could happen to Mum.
CHELSEA: And now the rozzers want us to stay on at the hotel till it's further investigated or something.
That's just taking the piiiiiiiiiiiiss.
All I want is to go home.
Course you do, Wayne.
Can never trust the filth, right? Mm.
Here, here.
Bottoms up.
I mean cheers! So were you and his mum close then? [ Scoffs .]
Are you joking? Geraldine was a manipulative old tart! [ Laughs .]
She had Wayne wrapped around her little finger.
Just like all the other men in her life.
Really? - [ Cellphone chimes .]
- Mm-hmm.
Must be awful for Wayne, though.
You know, losing his mum at that age.
Yeah, poor Wayne.
AGATHA: Why here? Not another fond memory, is it? JAMES: No.
Don't want to blow their cover.
Stay away from the hotel.
ROY: Nice to see a bit of proper tradition! Punch and Judy by the seaside.
Bring it on! Oh, Roy, you smell like a brewery.
It was quite a heavy afternoon session.
They can really knock it back.
So what'd you learn? Well, for starters, Geraldine Jankers has been married four times.
Good God! Hard enough to believe she could get one man to pop the question.
Well, her first, Wayne's father, was killed 20 years ago after a calibration error at a canning factory caused an explosion.
- What? - I don't know.
She divorced husband 2, Ronnie Black, after he was sent to prison.
Oh, prison.
Now that's interesting.
And then there was a short marriage to an Archie Uh, Swale.
TONI: Swale.
Archie Swale.
Who she traded in for Brian Jankers couple of months ago after they met online.
It's bit of a whirlwind romance then.
Here we go! Here we go! Here we Oh, Roy! You don't need to stay in character.
Look around.
There's no one here.
Sorry.
I went a bit method.
According to Wayne, the penultimate hubby, Archie Swale, took the breakup particularly badly, and he only lives about 15 miles up the coast in Mudhaven.
Well, does anyone know what this Ronnie Black did, why he was in prison.
I mean, is he still serving time? - I don't know.
- Don't know.
Right.
I'll phone Bill.
Our new mates invited us to join them and Brian Jankers for dinner.
Right, come on! Action stations! [ Groans .]
Now, I need you two to talk to Brian, see what you can find out about his wife and her final night.
Right, come along.
What are you doing? That way! Go! Go! Alright, alright.
- Don't follow us.
- Alright, alright.
They're following us.
- Ah! - Hello, boys and girls.
- Have you been good? - That way? Ah! TONI: Roy! Would you believe Are you sure about this? Yes, absolutely.
Listen, we'll be back in Snoth before anyone's noticed we've gone.
Mr.
Archie Swale? Yes.
What is it? We've been asked to investigate the death of your ex-wife, Geraldine.
Well, that's got nothing to do with me.
Oh, we just want to know what kind of person she was.
That's all.
Oh.
Bad hip? ARCHIE: Shocking.
Waiting for a new one.
- Take a seat.
- Thank you.
[ Sighs .]
So, where did you two meet? On the train.
Geraldine sat next to me.
She was friendly, she seemed kind.
And I fell for her.
As soon as we were married, she changed.
I'd never met that son of hers, not until the wedding day.
But within weeks, he was living with us.
- Not what you had in mind.
- No! Then Wayne stole a gold lighter that belonged to my father, plus some other valuable things.
Geraldine refused to believe it.
Hm, you should've heard her scream at me for accusing her precious boy.
She gave Wayne everything, spoiled him, but it was never enough.
That little shower probably did her in.
And how did you feel when she left? Honestly? Relieved.
Did she ever talk about her second husband, Ronnie Black? Never.
Actually, no.
Once, when she was drunk New Year's Eve, as we walked past some very expensive looking Bond Street jeweler.
Can you remember what she said? Well, something about the store being right up her ex-husband's street.
Oh? Well, what do you think she meant by that? ARCHIE: That he was rich.
Bought her shiny things.
She loved money.
Ah.
So Geraldine never mentioned to you that Ronnie Black had been in prison, then? No, but that doesn't surprise me.
Is this your Distinguished Service Medal? Which brigade? Royal Marines.
AGATHA: I think we can safely eliminate him from the list.
There is absolutely no way that he could have strangled that tough old boot.
Not with that bad hip and her figure.
Don't be so sure.
Once a Commando, always a Commando.
They're lethal.
Even with a dodgy hip.
I made it clear as crystal meth that you were not to leave town whilst you remained a suspect.
Isn't crystal meth cloudy? What makes you think that she did? We had a call from a Mr.
Archie Swale, checking that you were who you says you were.
So, you've gone and broken the conditions of your police bail.
Well, I thought I was only technically on bail.
Then you'll only technically be fitted with this little beauty.
Janet.
You seriously don't expect me to wear that hideous looking thing, do you? It's the Chav Nav or the Chockie.
Your choice.
Alright.
Get on with it then! [ Groans .]
An actual sadist designed this in order to be as uncomfortable as possible.
Keys to our best suite.
Yet another cancelled booking.
Figure it'll make a good center of operations for you to work out of.
Thanks.
That'll help.
It's Goldenballs started it really.
Turning footballers into models and How's your food, Mr.
Jankers? Beckham's got a lot to answer for.
He was fit, though.
As in like you know, athletic.
I love your necklace, Chelsea.
It's it's well bling.
Aw, innit? Wayne just gave it to me.
- [ Thud .]
- Ow! Well, obviously, it's just costume.
Got things to take care of.
You coming, Brian? I think I'll stay for pudding.
ROY: See you later, mate! You're the big geezer! What do you do for a living then, Brian? I own a small chain of dress shops.
TONI: Oh? Did your wife run them with you? [ Chuckles .]
No, but, um, I think the shops were one of the reasons she was attracted to me.
She was very fashion conscious.
Nice.
It's my fault, you know? If I hadn't have taken that sleeping pill, I'd have heard Geraldine go out, you know? Might have even been able to stop her.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Where do you think she was going that night? I've been asking myself that, love.
It's a mystery.
What will you do now? Go back to work, once the police let us leave.
Not tempted to take some time off? Can't afford it, lad.
The wedding and the honeymoon weren't cheap.
On top of that, I promised Geraldine I'd pay Wayne and Chelsea's bill.
Even after inheriting his mother's estate, I bet he won't chip in.
[ Pounds table .]
[ Beer splashes .]
So, Brian Jankers wasn't happy about Wayne inheriting, which makes me think there might be a decent amount.
Oh, do you think Wayne might tell you how much? Doubt it.
I think I've blown my cover and not in a good way.
Well, comments like that get you blown in the first place, so to speak.
If only it was that easy.
But hang on, he did say something in the bar about coming into some "serious" - Emperor Ming? - Emperor Ming.
- Bling.
- Bling.
Oh, did he now? Wayne got super edgy when I complimented Chelsea's necklace.
Yeah, and she made a big deal about it being costume jewelry.
But the way those diamonds sparkled makes me think they're pretty legit.
I mean, I can't help but wonder why she'd lie.
Do you remember what Archie Swale said about his ex wife outside the jewelry shop on New Year's Eve.
Maybe Ronnie Black is a thief? The smash and grab kind.
Maybe it's all connected.
[ Music playing on television .]
[ Telephone rings .]
[ Televisions shuts off, telephone ringing .]
Hey, you.
Hey.
Are you all right? Oh, hi, everyone.
Sorry.
The dog's really sick.
The dog? Bill? Have you heard anything back from the prison service about Ronnie Black? BILL: Not yet.
I looked him up on the PNC like you asked.
Turns out Mr.
Black went down for armed robbery.
Did he stick up a jewelry store? Yeah.
Carter's of Chiswick in 2010.
I don't suppose you know if any of this jewelry was ever recovered, do you? Hold on a minute, is that my Naked Man statue? Um, I do, and it wasn't, and Are you in my house, Bill?! Oh, uh, the wifi signal's cutting AGATHA: Bill! Cut, cut, dropping.
Sorry, Agatha.
Bye! [ Music plays on television .]
[ Sighs .]
Come on, Bluey! What if Geraldine was holding on to the jewelry for her jailbird ex.
Or simply knew its location, and that was what got her killed? Yeah, but Chelsea let slip that Wayne had only just given her the necklace.
Maybe the necklace was one of the stolen pieces.
Oh, I'd like to see this necklace! Well, I doubt Wayne's gonna let her wear that out in public for a while.
Mnh-mnh.
So, we break into their room and photograph the necklace and any other jewelry.
Then check to see if it matches with what's been stolen.
An operation like that, it'll need to be planned with military precision.
Roy, get the floor plan.
Ooh, we could do it when Wayne and Chelsea go down for breakfast' cause it'd be easy to keep an eye on her.
Good idea! Pick your poison.
Agatha, you cover the lobby stairs.
I'll watch the dining room.
Toni, find a cleaner with a master key.
Roy runs interference.
Chelsea's cookies, and Wayne's nuts.
[ Typing .]
[ Mouse clicks .]
[ Children laughing .]
[ Ominous chord strikes .]
[ Birds squawking .]
[ Telephone rings .]
Well, I see you've fixed the wifi.
BILL: Uh, so the prison service got back to me.
While serving his original sentence, Ronnie Black brutally attacked two inmates, causing them serious injuries.
But then, a fortnight ago, he was released years earlier than planned, due to a terminal illness.
- Bill, I have to go.
- Is Toni okay? TONI: Ooh, sorry.
I was just a bit peckish.
- Aggie! - Psst! Here! Right, we won't have long until she finishes the room and notices it's missing.
Roy's gonna distract her once she's done.
Try and buy us some more time.
Excellent teamwork.
[ Cellphone dinging .]
Wayne's on his way back up! Ah! Wait, wait.
Round the corner, round the corner.
[ Grunts .]
Sorry! [ Man screams .]
[ Thud, clattering .]
That didn't sound good.
No, It did not.
But I think we should go and have a look.
What? No, no, no, no, no.
Or we could just sort of stay here.
I've got biscuits.
Biscuits?! We're in the middle of an emergency! No, no, no, but, I'm pretty sure the rule is don't head towards any type of screaming in creepy old hotels.
I'm pretty sure the rule is we do.
[ Ring tone playing .]
[ Ring tone playing .]
Is is that [ Screams .]
[ Ring tone playing .]
AGATHA: I think he's probably dead.
[ Alarm ringing .]
I think we should probably evacuate.
[ Alarm ringing .]
[ Electricity crackles .]
[ Loud thud .]
[ Gasps .]
[ Groans .]
[ Alarm ringing .]
Roy! Where's Agatha? She's here.
She was right behind me.