All Hail King Julien (2014) s04e02 Episode Script

1 - [Mort chuckles.]
- [growls.]
- [Mort.]
I'm okay! - [laughs.]
[theme song playing.]
Party - # Who's the king? # - # King Julien! # - # Who's the king? # - # King Julien! # Get down for the get down - # Everybody party with King who? # - # King Julien! # - # King who? # - # King Julien! # Tonight will be forever Let's do King Julien style Woof! Whoa, oh, whoa, oh Y'all tell me who's the king Whoa, oh, whoa, oh All hail King Julien! [Clover.]
And so, the story of warrior princess Thighsander Plunderhorse continues as she rescues her one true love, Norge Grendelfist.
Hand-in-hand, Thighsander and Norge flee across the Bridge of Imminent Doom.
[growling.]
Trapped, Thighsander looks out and sees none other than her mortal enemy Lord Chevalier Lorn Von Lorn.
I'll get you, Lord Chevalier Lorn Von Lorn, if it's the last thing I do.
Oh, no, the last thing you'll do is die, Thighsander.
[laughs.]
[straining.]
[Clover exclaims in frustration.]
Come on.
I can do better than that.
I'll get you, Lord Chevalier Lorn Von Lorn, if it's the last thing I do! [laughing.]
- Oh.
[groaning.]
- [lemur grunting.]
A tornado full of old people? What the That doesn't even make sense.
Come on, Clover, think.
What happens next? I'll get you Lord Chevalier Lorn [whistle blowing.]
Who's making all that noise? [blows whistle.]
All right, everybody, into the lifeboats.
[clamoring, screaming.]
[lemur.]
This is bad! This is bad! Go, go, go! This is not a drill.
Actually, yes, it is, but still, hurry up! [lemurs screaming.]
[groaning.]
[exclaims excitedly.]
Why are we doing this again? It's water safety week, Mo-Mo.
I'm teaching my peoples proper lifeboat evacuation protocol.
Uh, okay, but couldn't we demonstrate proper lifeboat evacuation protocol with the boat on the ground? Or, I don't know, in the water? Ha! In the water? Are you crazy? Somebody could get hurt.
And why would anyone need a lifeboat if they're on the ground? I mean, really.
Verbal eye roll, Maurice.
[blows whistle.]
Let's go! Chop, chop! [lemurs screaming.]
[exclaims in panic.]
Aah! Who put those old peoples there? On it.
- [Clover grunts, groans.]
- Yeah! - [lemurs screaming.]
- Whoa.
- [Clover groaning.]
- [all muttering unintelligibly.]
Clover.
Clover.
Clover.
- You.
- Hmm? Barnaby, my sword.
Barnaby, Clover needs her sword.
Wait, who's Barnaby? Barnaby? I know that name.
[groans.]
Clover? Clover? Clover? [screams.]
Clover, wake up! Somebody call a doctor, quick! I think I'm having heart palpitations.
[inhales deeply.]
Also, Clover might need some help too.
[Dr.
S.]
Flashlight! This is a banana.
[slurps.]
I know.
I just thought you might want a snack.
Jeez! Bite my head off, why don't you? [Dr.
S growls.]
Hmm.
What do you see, Dr.
S? Wouldn't you like to know? [giggles.]
I'll get you, Lord Chevalier Lorn Von Lorn, if it's the last thing I do.
You see? She keeps saying nonsense words.
It's not nonsense.
It's a name.
Chevalier Lorn Von Lorn is the sworn enemy of Thighsander Plunderhorse, warrior princess, defender of the downtrodden, and hero of the mythical realm of Gavaria.
From Clover's books.
I'm a big fan.
Yes.
It's as I suspected.
Clover is suffering from [screams.]
acute fictionosis! [screaming.]
[slurps.]
[thunder crackling.]
A cute what now? Due to the blow to her head, Clover thinks she is her own fictional character, Thighsander Plunderhorse, living in the world of her books.
Oh! [chuckles.]
No, I lied.
Still not getting it.
Uh, I think what Dr.
S is saying is that Clover is literally lost in the world of her imagination.
Ha! Oh, is that all? For a minute there, I thought it was something serious.
[laughs.]
That doesn't sound so bad.
Whew! Yeah, I live in my own world too, and nobody ever gets hurt Most of the time.
I assure you, it's very serious.
Since the blow to Clover's head was so severe and her delusion so complete, if she were faced with the truth, the shock to her brain could [screams.]
kill her! Kill her? But there's gotta be a cure, right? Well, there are some salves.
Massage is always good.
Or we could [screams.]
chop off her head! - [whirring.]
- [laughing.]
- You can't seriously be - Ssh.
Maurice, please.
He is a doctor.
[chuckles.]
- As far as we know.
- But [shushing.]
Hmm.
Nope.
Chopping off Clover's head is not going to work.
How could Clover be my head of security without a head? You see? Just doesn't make sense.
[exclaims in frustration.]
Pack up the saw, Nurse Phantom.
[dejectedly.]
Maybe next time.
Told you we wouldn't need it.
But, no, you made me lug it all the way here.
For nothing.
[hisses.]
Wait.
Where are you going? What about Clover? Isn't there anything else we can do? Please, Dr.
S, we have to save her! Wow, Mort.
I didn't realize you liked Clover that much.
Yeah, we hang out all the time.
[Clover.]
Hey, Mort.
Where's Maurice? I don't know.
- Hey, Mort, you seen Ted? - No.
- Hey, Mort.
Know where Masikura is? - Nope.
Yeah, we're pretty much best friends.
Which is why we've gotta save her! The only other way to save Clover is for everyone to play along with her fantasy and wait for her brain to heal and the memories of who she really is to be restored.
You mean, the whole kingdom has to pretend to be the characters from Clover's stories? Is that what I said? 'Cause that sounds pretty good.
Ooh, will there be costumes? Of course not, Ted.
We don't have the budget for that.
Will there be costumes? - Mm-mmm.
- Aw.
Snap! Okay, everybody, you heard the creepy snake doctor.
Operation Save Clover's Brain is a go.
I must warn you Hmm? You must not break character or Clover's brain could explode.
[gasps.]
Esplode? Relax, Mort.
I'm sure Dr.
S is exaggerating.
[laughing.]
Oh, no.
Brain explosions are very common with this type of illness.
You'd be surprised how many heads detonate around here.
Nurse Phantom, demonstration please.
It'll go something like this.
Gah! And then [screaming.]
And then [choking.]
All right, everyone, you should all now have cards with your new names on them.
Ooh.
Hey, everybody, I'm the bad guy! [laughs maliciously.]
For example, Sage here will be playing Norge Grendelfist, enchanted prince and prisoner of Lord Chevalier.
Jealous! Jealousy is a pill on the sweater of friendship.
Okay.
And I will be playing Chetwin the Wandering Troubadour.
Better warm up the old pipes.
[clears throat.]
Oh, la, la Barnaby, the squirrel? [laughs.]
There must be some mistake, you know.
'Cause I don't even know what a squirrel is.
Is there a king? Prince? Some sort of magician or something else in there? It's pronounced "squire," Your Majesty.
It may be pronounced like that, but it sounds like "lame"! I'm sorry, King Julien, but Clover I mean Thighsander called you Barnaby and we can't break the illusion.
Plus, you look just like him.
See? Squire Barnaby.
Thighsander's sword-carrying sidekick.
Skilled at dancing, but not much else.
Known for being dramatic, lazy, and often selfish.
Sidekick? Oh, no! That's No! Look at me.
Look at this face.
This is not the face of a sidekick.
I am a leading man.
How could Clover do this to me? Being a sidekick isn't so bad.
Besides, it doesn't matter what part you have.
We're doing this to help Clover, remember? Sir Reginald.
Uh, yes, that's me.
Sir Reginald, brave and loyal knight.
How can I be of service, Thighsander? Gather my men at once.
Maurice gets to be a knight? [screams.]
Just [screams.]
Barnaby, give your seat to Sir Reginald.
Ah! Seriously? You will stand.
Now, Squire! Tch.
It is up to us to rescue Norge and stop Chevalier from seizing control of Gavaria.
In order to do this, we must first embark on a quest to retrieve the items that will enable us to defeat Phlog, the two-headed dragon guarding Norge, and ensure our victory against Chevalier.
- [Julien.]
Uh.
- Yes, Barnaby? Hmm, yeah.
Can't we just skip all that quest stuff and go straight to the rescuing Norge? Just sayin'.
Might save some time.
Barnaby, please don't make me discipline you with my elven poker again! Trust me, you don't want the poker.
I read about it in her books.
That elven tool gave me nightmares for days.
Good.
We leave at once.
First stop, the Wizard.
[whimpering.]
[bawling.]
[whispers.]
Everyone be on guard.
Encounters with wizards can be a dangerous business.
Encounters with wizards Can be a dangerous business [laughs sheepishly.]
Greetings, powerful wizard.
'Sup? Squire Barnaby! What are you doing? I'm not Squire Barnaby.
I'm way cooler than that guy.
I'm Chair Lemur Wizard, the Wizard.
Uh, yeah.
Check out my sweet wand.
We don't have time for your feeble-minded buffoonery, Squire Barnaby.
Where is the wizard? Over [slurping.]
here.
[chuckles.]
I am sorry, friend.
Forgive my foolish squire.
We have come for your invisibility potion.
My precious? Uh, yeah.
Yes.
Wait, what? [chuckles.]
You call it your "precious"? That's kind of that's weird.
This potion will help us in our quest to defeat Chevalier.
No.
No! [Maurice coughing.]
Perhaps the wizard is forgetting that we need this potion to save our friend? Oh, all right.
Wait for it.
Thank you, powerful wizard.
Your generosity will not be soon forgotten.
This is the bit where you If you could just I'm gonna [both straining.]
We have the potion! Now, it's on to the Den of Certain Death to retrieve a manticore tooth.
Certain death? What's a manticore? [snoring.]
[all gasp.]
[gulps.]
Thighsander, what are you doing? Are you out of your mind? Technically, she is.
Oh.
There's no need to be afraid.
They can't catch me [slurping.]
if they can't see me.
You can't see me.
You can't see me.
Ooh.
Ah.
[whispers.]
You can't see me.
You can't see me! [screams.]
- [growling.]
- Ooh.
Wait a minute.
They can see me.
The potion isn't working.
[exclaims in frustration.]
I hate wizards! [growling.]
Barnaby, my sword.
Throw it down to me.
Uh Get that toe jam.
Yeah! [Clover.]
Squire Barnaby! Uh, whoops.
You have [grunts.]
got to be [grunts.]
kidding me! [grunts.]
This isn't good.
What do we do? Don't look at me.
You're the knight.
I'm just a squirrel, man.
Ted, you've read all of Clover's books.
Do something! My character's just an itinerant singer/songwriter.
What can I do? Uh, Sir Reginald, could use a little help down here.
I can't hold them off much longer.
Come on, Maurice.
Clover needs you.
Maurice would be scared, but Sir Reginald, he'd know what to do.
That's it! Everyone, hold hands.
We're pulling Thighsander out of there.
Hold on! What now? Thighsander, grab my hand! [Maurice.]
Gotcha! [groaning.]
[screams.]
[growling.]
Nasty boy.
[crying.]
I've been bit.
How bad is it? Don't sugarcoat it.
Just tell me straight out.
Hold still.
[gasps.]
That bad? I knew it.
I'm going to die.
But I'm so young! Mama! No.
We have the tooth of the manticore! Squire Barnaby's butt may be sore But, hooray, we got the tooth Of the manticore Can you believe it? Hmm? Squire Barnaby actually did something right.
[mockingly.]
Squire Barnaby did something right.
[groaning.]
You okay, Squire Barnaby? Yeah, I'll be okay.
Just gonna sit here and suffer in silence.
[groans.]
Enough! May I remind you that you are a squire? And as a squire, you have one job.
To bring me my sword.
Maybe if you had done that like you were supposed to, you wouldn't have gotten hurt.
[gasping.]
That is not my job.
Speaking of jobs, your job is to protect me.
And you're doing a pretty bad job at that job.
Grr.
Look at my booty! Look at it! Your booty is fine.
If you're using the word "fine" colloquially, then, yes, my booty is fine.
But if you're suggesting that my booty isn't injured, you're wrong, wrong, wrong, all sorts of wrong! [whimpers.]
[coughing.]
Stop talking.
Is anybody hungry? Squire Barnaby, why must you be so selfish? We have to rescue Norge from Chevalier before it's too late.
You are forgetting what's important.
I'm not even important enough to you to be a main character in your story.
Story? What story? Uh, I think what Squire Barnaby means is Snap out of it, Clover! Huh? There is no Norge! There is no Chevalier! You're Clover, I'm King Julien.
And guess what? I am done with this quest! Squire Barnaby out.
- [whimpering.]
- Uh Oh, that Squire Barnaby What a kidder How about I make some dinner Great idea, Chetwin.
[chuckles.]
Don't pay any attention to that silly squire.
Everybody knows that you're Thighsander.
A brave warrior on a quest to save Norge.
You're right.
Norge is being held prisoner by the two-headed dragon.
We must leave for the dragon's cave at once.
[Masikura.]
Who dares enter my cave? [growls.]
Didn't anyone ever teach you to breathe with your mouth closed? [Maggie farts.]
[Maggie.]
Sorry.
Um, I'm Thighsander Plunderhorse, here to rescue your prisoner, Norge Grendelfist.
[Maggie farts.]
[Masikura.]
You are disgusting.
- [Maggie.]
Well, you're a - [Clover.]
Um Hey, yeah.
No, again, just in case I wasn't clear before, I'm here to fight you.
Show yourself, Phlog! [Masikura.]
I'm too old to be doing this uh, to fight.
You can have Norge.
You're welcome and buh-bye.
[Maggie farts.]
This doesn't make any sense.
Why isn't the dragon putting up a fight? This isThis is Something's Something's not right.
Don't listen to that silly old dragon Let's go find Norge and grab him I don't care if Clover's brain is damaged.
I'm the king.
Star billing.
Duh! - Hello, King Julien.
- [screams.]
Sorry to startle you, I was just doing some gardening for Dr.
S.
- [rasping.]
- Everything okay? Actually, Nurse Phantom, no.
How do you do it? How do you play sidekick to Dr.
S? I mean, yes, you're horribly disfigured, so being a featured player is clearly not in your wheelhouse, but I think I can help, old friend.
To me, being a sidekick isn't about just cleaning up after Dr.
S has [grunting.]
resurrected a corpse or a long-dead plague.
Uh, Dr.
S resurrected a long-dead plague? We contained it before it reached the mainland.
The point is, I'm the glue.
Not the glue I use to hold up my sagging muffin top, but the actual glue that keeps the machine going.
But don't you ever want to be the hero? The star? I am the star.
Of my story.
Just like you're the star of your story.
- But this story - [zombie groaning.]
Is not mine.
[Ted.]
Oh, boy! - [Ted.]
Oh.
- [Maurice straining.]
[Clover.]
Norge! Oh, hey, Clover.
Clover? Ugh Who's Clover? Exactly.
We are everything and nothing all at once.
A question mark wrapped in a conundrum swallowed by a four-legged starfish.
What are you talking about? Wait, hold on.
Why would Lord Chevalier leave you out in the open? It's [gasps.]
No! It's a trap! - [all scream.]
- [wicked laughter.]
Was this supposed to happen? [laughs.]
Thighsander.
I knew you'd come.
I'll get you, Lord Chevalier Lorn Von Lorn, if it's the last thing I do.
[Mort.]
Try if you like.
The wheel has been set in motion.
I will defeat Thighsander Plunderhorse and Gavaria will be mine! I have only to remove those who oppose me.
Namely, you.
Wow.
He's good.
Very convincing.
He is acting, right? [laughs nervously.]
Mort! What are you doing? Mort? Mort? There is no Mort.
I am Lord Chevalier Lorn Von Lorn! What do we do now, Clo Thighsander? I don't know.
I don't know what happens next.
No one knows what happens next.
We are all just drops of toilet water on the quinceañera of time.
[all screaming.]
[Julien.]
Somebody need a sword? [laughs.]
Oh, yeah! Huh? Hmm? Barnaby! Yup.
Barnaby, the squirrel.
That's me.
You came back! Yeah, I realized something.
Being a sidekick isn't so bad.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to do it all the time or anything, but, you know, once in a while, to help a friend, it's okay.
I'm sorry I let you down, Thighsander.
It's okay, Barnaby.
I should apologize too.
I underestimated you.
You're a brave and loyal squire.
Uh, now is not the time for a touching moment, people! [laughing wickedly.]
Right.
Barnaby, my sword! [grunts.]
Got it! Umm Not so fast, Chevalier.
You'll never defeat me, Thighsander.
Let's see, shall we? [both grunting.]
Oh.
Uh, hi.
[laughs nervously.]
Uh, are we going to let Clover kill Mort? Maybe it's his time.
Who are we to play Frank after all? King Julien! Oh, okay, fine.
Thighsander, wait! [gasps.]
I know how it ends.
Prepare to meet your doom, Lord Chevalier Lorn Von Lorn! [chuckles.]
One minute.
If I must fall into this volcano to save Clover's brain, then so be it.
I'm ready.
And with one final blow, Thighsander Plunderhorse cuts down her foe, the evil Lord Chevalier Lorn Von Lorn, who plummets down into the fiery depths of the volcano and is swallowed by the churning lava, never to be seen or heard from again.
That's how it ends.
Ha! I finished my story! [laughs exultantly.]
[laughs.]
Clover's back! [Ted and Maurice cheering.]
And so with Norge safe and Gavaria no longer at the mercy of the evil Lord Chevalier Lorn Von Lorn, Thighsander thanked her brave comrades, without whom she would not have survived.
Especially Sir Barnaby, a squire no longer.
The end.
That's right.
Booyah! I'm a knight.
[laughs excitedly.]
Chetwin here with one more tune Merry song is what I croon Thighsander, Barnaby made amends Everyone's happy and best of friends [Maurice.]
It's over, Ted.
It's over.
[Masikura.]
Buh-bye.
Buh-bye.
Brave Thighsander went off one day To fight her foe, Lord Chevalier Took a band of brave friends along But 'twas Norge To whom her heart belonged Chetwin here with one more tune Merry song is what I croon Thighsander, Barnaby made amends Everyone's happy and best of friends