Jersey Shore s04e02 Episode Script
Like More Than A Friend
In the words of Pauly D- - this is the best day of my life! - We ended up making out.
It was fun.
She's a good kisser.
I'm a good kisser.
- Let's hook up and cuddle.
- Yeah, I know.
My game plan is Flirt with pauly.
Make out with him a couple of times, then who knows, maybe his Italian sausage will be in my [Bleep.]
.
- What was Mike trying to do with you? - He just keeps touching me.
It's gross.
I'm like, "get off of me.
" [Bleep.]
Deena, please.
- I'm probably going to but I feel bad, though.
Why? - Because if I hook up with other girls, I don't want her to get feelings like that, though.
- No, 'cause she knows you guys are best friends, but she's always wanted to [Bleep.]
You, so - I know, but, like, let's just say I [Bleep.]
Her tonight and I [Bleep.]
Other girls.
I don't want her to cry.
You know what I'm saying? Never in my life have I met a girl that could just hook up and have no feelings.
They always end up having some kind of feelings somewhere.
[Dance music plays.]
- What's your name? - Andrea.
- You should give me your number.
Nombre.
- No.
- Yes.
Si.
- I have a boyfriend.
Aah! I talked to pauly.
Pauly said he wants to [Bleep.]
Deena tonight, but no strings attached.
- Yeah, but I don't want her to [Bleep.]
Him and then like get feelings for him.
That's what I said.
It's like a me and Vinny situation.
Like I know what happened with me and Vinny, and it just kind of like ruined our friendship.
I don't want that to happen with deena and pauly.
I'm really just concerned that deena's gonna wake up tomorrow and be like, "I like pauly.
" And then what? Yo! Pauly! No, no, come with me.
I just wanna talk to you.
Girl talk.
- If I do sex with him, it is what it is.
Do you think I give- - and that's it? - Yeah.
I don't give a [Bleep.]
.
- All right.
I definitely think that pauly and deena are gonna smush.
It just really comes down to timing-when and where? Let's get outta here.
I gotta go.
- Let's go home and get this party started.
- If you hook up with deena tonight, bro, I would appreciate it.
- [Snickers.]
[Bleep.]
, you are a nice guy.
- It's gonna be like me and Vinny.
- No, it's not, because me and- - yes, it is.
- Me and pauly are completely different.
- You just wanna get it in.
Yeah, exactly.
Che Bella, la casa! - So I get the first Skittles.
Whoa! Ha.
Where's the closest bathroom? I'm trying not to piss in public.
- Come on, Pierre.
Do the Jersey turnpike.
Beep beep beep There ya go.
[Line ringing.]
- Hello? - Yeah, it's Ronnie.
Hey! Oh, my God, how's Italy? - It's crazy.
This girl Hannah, she's helped me out with a lot of [Bleep.]
That I was going through with Sam.
And I just called her just to hear her voice, I guess.
I told ya I'd call you.
I just wanna feel that normalcy with somebody, like where I can have a normal conversation without fighting.
So when are you coming to visit me? You gonna visit me? I'll come to Italy.
- D! Bring Pierre over here.
- Pierre's just shy of jumping off the ledge and everything.
- What? Jumping off the ledge? - And then he tried falling in the jacuzzi also.
Ooh! [Laughing.]
- Deena is clumsy.
She falls all the time.
- Good night.
- Bye, Ron.
Bye-bye.
[Belch.]
Where's my [Bleep.]
Spoon? Where's my spoon? - Pauly might help you out with that spoon.
- I'm a spooner.
Good work.
- You going to bed? - Yeah.
- Good night.
- Good night, everybody.
- I definitely wanna smush pauly.
You know, we could be like friends with benefits.
[Whispers.]
Pauly.
Pauly.
This is such a bad time.
I care for you a lot.
Like I think you're like an awesome person.
If jionni can't make Snooki happy, the situation's happy to step up to the plate and hit a homer.
- That looks like a lot of work.
- Yeah.
Making coffee in Italy's like making coffee in the 1600s.
That's the machine? - I guess.
[Bleep.]
Directions are in Italian.
He didn't budge! [Snickers.]
Who comes to Italy to sleep? Not me.
- Did you find a supermarket to go to? - Yeah.
- Hey, we're leaving! Nice windbreaker, bro! Let's go.
- Look how cute these little places are.
- It looks like a movie set.
- It does not look real right now.
- No.
- It looks like beauty and the beast or some [Bleep.]
.
I feel like people are gonna start singing out their windows.
- It's our first Sunday in Italy.
Now, we always have Sunday dinner back home.
We're gonna do it right out here in Italy and hit the grocery store, get everything we need.
Can we get a pineapple? God! Everything's in another language.
- [Bleep.]
Looks [Bleep.]
Like an alie yeah.
Yo, we need wheat bread.
- Is that wheat? - Uh-uh.
It's classico.
- Is this wheat? - I dunno.
- Is this wheat? Oh, my God, it's so hard in a grocery store trying to figure out what the hell is what.
Like you're reading, and it's like different words.
Is this artichokes? Like what the hell is this? Like nothing is in English.
What the hell? Which one's shampoo here? I think it says shampoo.
- How do you say "nice to meet you" in Italian? - Piacere.
- Piaceres.
- What good roommates we are.
- Where'd you go? - Went shopping.
- Shopping.
- For dinner.
- Why don't me and deena cook? - For real? - Yeah.
- Thank you.
- I am a good cook.
If somebody let me cook something, I will cook a good Sunday dinner.
- Do you know how to make like meat sauce? - I'm gonna make my own concoction.
[Light music.]
All right, let's go.
Should we have a glass of wine while we cook? - Oh, my God, yes! - We'll be like real Italian ladies cooking dinner.
- I'm so proud of myself for not falling last night.
This is the garlic? This is scallion, not [Bleep.]
Garlic.
What is this? Tell me these are strawberries.
These are like weird strawberries.
Are these good like this? - Yeah.
Those are like raspberries.
Oh.
- We have to do these [Bleep.]
Dishes also.
There's actual dishwashing detergent.
"Intenso.
Automatico.
" Just shut it.
Maybe it'll go.
- I haven't eaten yet at all today.
- Do you wanna go get like a quick bite to eat? - Let me just bread these chicken cutlets.
We got some stuff ready, and then me, jenni, and Sammi were like, "let's go out for a little bit.
When we come home, we'll cook.
" - I didn't realize how cold it was.
- Look at the little sandwiches.
Yo, I'm starving.
What's for supper? Where is- where are the girls? The girls are out, and I'm starting to suspect that they're not gonna cook dinner.
What? [Bleep.]
All over the floor now.
- I was really looking forward to eating a good Sunday meal.
- Yeah, so was I.
- Yeah.
A- and they said they wanted to cook.
I said hey, fine.
I love this little cafe.
How's your egg sandwich? Good.
- Should we just start cooking? - We should just do it, no? - Yeah.
- We pay him in there? - Yeah.
- Let's peace out of this bitch.
Come si dice paper towel? - [Indistinct.]
Carta or some [Bleep.]
Like that.
- Carta or some [Bleep.]
Like that- si.
Someone's here.
You better not be cooking.
No.
- We're cooking! - Really? Now I'm pissed.
You guys suck! - We didn't know when you were coming home.
I'm likeReally? Bellissima! I'm annoyed.
I wanted to frigging cook.
That's all.
Is Nicole still sleeping? - What? - Nicole's still sleeping? - She's here? - She's here? Nicole, are you kidding me? Get your ass up! I don't know how people can sleep the whole damn day away.
I can't.
But Nicole loves her sleep.
Nope.
You put the pasta in before it boils? - Don't worry.
We got a drainer.
- Ha ha.
Look at Mike's face.
Yeah, buddy.
- Hurry up, Nicole.
- Coming.
Can I have some salad? - Sure.
Our first Sunday dinner.
- Ciao, grazie.
Jersey, we do Sunday dinner.
Miami, we do Sunday dinner.
So we're gonna continue to make the tradition live on out here in Italy- Sunday dinner.
This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, coming to Italy, everybody coming for the first time, so just know we shared it with everybody at this table.
Salud.
- Salud.
Salute! Prego! Hello.
Hey, babe! - So where the [Bleep.]
You been? Like I don't understand what you do.
I don't hear from you for an entire day.
- Dude, we're on like different time zones.
Like what do you want me to do? - I don't know how you can go through an entire day not talking to me.
- Why are you so mad at me? Stop.
- I heard Snooki talking to jionni on the phone.
You know, she's upset, but the situation is very good when it comes to relationship advice.
- How can you go through an entire day without talking to me? - It's hard, babe.
I legit wake up at like - Don't let this bother you.
- You wanna call me later? Okay.
- Bye.
- Come on, you don't wanna feel bad.
Come on.
- That was horrible.
- Come on.
- I feel like jionni worries too much, and I feel like, you know, he doesn't trust me sometimes.
- Here.
Come here.
Mwah! It's so beautiful out here.
Everybody's having such a good time, like Don't let that bother you.
You know? I care you for you a lot and I just want you to be happy.
You know? What I don't want Is for you not to be yourself, for you not to be happy.
- I know.
- If jionni can't make Snooki happy, you know, the situation's happy to step up to the plate and hit a homer.
You like deserve everything, you know? You deserve the world.
- Thank you.
- So don't let somebody get you upset.
- No, it just sucks.
- I'm glad you came to me, too, okay? - Mm-hmm.
'Cause I got you.
- [Kiss.]
Thank you.
No problem.
- Hold on one second.
Hold on a second.
What is this? - Oh.
[Bleep.]
Nice.
Come si dice lost? - Is this the Vatican? - Yeah, I think so.
It's so nice.
- I feel like we're very close and you can tell me anything.
- Like very, very close.
- Mm-hmm.
- We've hooked up before and You know, I care for you more than a friend.
- Hello? - Hello.
- Who are you? - I'm Vinny.
- Who's this? - Hi, Vinny.
- Hi.
- Vinny, I'm Marco.
- I'm the owner of the best pizzeria in Florence, - okay.
- And, uh You work for me, you and your friends.
- Okay.
- And I want you at 3:00 for orientation.
Don't be late, man.
- Uh, we won't be late.
[Laughs.]
- Okay, okay, great.
- Okay.
- Ciao.
Who was that? - Marco.
We're gonna be working for him in a pizzeria.
And we have to go there today at 3:00.
- So we should probably leave now.
- We're all working at a pizzeria, bro.
- You serious? - Yeah.
- 3:00 orientation.
Let's go.
[Speaking Italian.]
- I got my wallet, chapstick.
Oh, like I match so well.
Let's go to work.
- I'm coming back to sleep after we do this [Bleep.]
.
[Folksy Italian tune.]
[Bleep.]
.
Hold on one second.
Hold on a second.
What is this? Lamberti? Oh, [Bleep.]
My life.
Come si dice lost? Is this the Vatican? - Yeah, I think so.
It's so nice.
Oh, wait.
Right here.
That's where we have to go? - Hey, guys.
- What's up, my man? - Ciao.
- Ciao.
- That's a little bit late, guys.
- Yeah, buddy.
- Yeah.
- It looks like a domino's version of Italy pizza.
- Nothing like heat after a hangover.
We're working at a [Bleep.]
Pizzeria in Florence.
When I'm 80 years old and I'm making pizza in my kitchen and I'm teaching my kids how to make pizza, and they ask me, "oh, where'd you make pizza?" Bitch, I made it in Florence.
That's where I made pizza.
So shut your mouth and enjoy my pizza.
All your attention, hey! I'm loud.
Is that all right? Okay.
Now we make a pizza, the first and the last time that I show you.
- Can we ask questions if we forget? - No question.
- Oh.
I want one of us Maybe I prefer you.
- Me? - If you can come here.
- You know, there's eight of us, and obviously, he pois me out, and I'm like dear [Bleep bleep.]
.
Like I don't speak Italian.
How am I the [Bleep.]
Supposed to know how to cook a pizza? - What do you want, a Margarita? - Extra sauce.
- Pepperoni.
- Extra pepperoni? Okay.
- You have pepperoni? - You talk to me about Sweet pepper, vegetable, or you talk to me about hot salami.
- Hot salami.
Yeah.
- Hot salami.
Okay.
- She loves hot salami.
- Yeah, she does.
- She loves hot salami.
- Vinny, shut up.
- She likes a braciole.
- Okay, don't worry.
You follow me? - Ooh, it's soft.
It's like a baby's butt.
Yo, can that be my job? I dj, I spin records.
I can spin pizza.
That's my job.
Oh, God.
[Laughter.]
- Oh, I broke it.
I broke it.
- Don't worry, don't worry.
We fix.
- I feel like I have splinters.
- Guys, we're on orientation.
Pay attention.
It's not that bad.
- They want a diavola.
- Huh? So Marco, like, he understands how to speak English, but not like very well.
Like that? - No.
No more.
No more.
- Like, how am I supposed to have a job with a boss and I don't know what he's saying? - Two second, take it.
- Right now? With this? - With this, with this, with this.
It's burning.
Huh? I don't know what you're saying.
You're making me nervous.
Here, here.
- Yay! - Cool.
- Snooks made the first pizza pie.
Came out pretty good.
I mean, if Snooki can do it, we all can do it.
Right? You know what I mean? - Okay, guys, thank you for your attenti.
[Overlapping good-byes.]
- Looking forward to learning this business.
We won't mess it up for you.
Ciao.
- See you next week.
- Next week.
- What's the plan? I wanna go home.
I want a coffee.
- Uh-oh, somebody's making coffee.
Is this a grinder? Yikes.
No way.
I need a grinder.
I have three grinders at my house.
What is this, a ravioli maker? What are you crushing? Coffee beans.
- That looks like a lot of work to make coffee.
- Yeah.
We aren't in [Bleep.]
America anymore.
Making coffee in Italy is like making coffee in the 1600s.
- I never knew how to make coffee before.
That's the machine? - I guess.
The directions are in Italian.
Is the coffee ready yet? - You're gonna enjoy making your own cup.
- Oh - Oh! All right.
- Hot.
I'm never making a cup of coffee again.
Hot.
I wanna go out.
- How long till we go? - Like 20 minutes.
These.
You guys ready? - Hello! - Yo.
- As soon as I entered astor, there's beauti- not beautiful, butHa ha.
A cute little blond girl comes right up to me and says hi, and I say, "hey, that was pretty easy.
" Mike! - I think you're hot.
- Mike! This girl's name is Britney, and she's actually an American girl from Florida.
She's really ugly.
I thought she was cute.
That girl I'm talking to is cute, right? - Sure.
- Pauly! You must think I'm gorgeous then.
You are.
[Dance music plays.]
Man up, bro.
This is how it goes down out here.
- I'm taking this one? - Yeah.
- Wait, wait, hold, wait, wait, wait If I'm having a good time, we're all having a good [Bleep.]
Time.
- Are you gonna stay here? I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Stay right here.
- She's going to the bathroom.
She'll be okay.
- I'm not worried about her.
Three weeksI'm gonna have a very nice guest.
Yoyou know my guest.
- So Ron has a backup chick.
Her name is Hannah.
Ron is going to fly this girl out.
Do you know about a guest he's bringing in a couple weeks? - No.
Hot girl? Oh, no.
- He just told me.
- Are you gonna tell Sam? - I don't know.
I don't know if Sam knows about this other chick, but if I tell her, she will flip out.
Now what? Busted! [Indistinct background chatter.]
She's so ugly.
Do you think I'm prettier than her? - Why, do you like Mike? Is that why you're saying that? - Ronnie is pretty damn sloppy right now at the club.
My boy wasted I'm in rare form right now.
stupid face-Ted I haven't seen him this bad since single Ronnie in Miami.
Come on, Mike, show- - no, don't go- - no, show.
You pick.
Your choice.
Come on, baby.
- Mike, show it.
Mike, Mike! I'm the pimp daddy Mac of this whole place.
I [Bleep.]
Four girls before we left.
- And you know why? You know why? 'Cause you're single, that's why.
- No.
Three girls.
Three days, four girls.
- You're That's [Bleep.]
Up.
That's [Bleep.]
Up.
- You're single.
You can do that.
You're allowed.
You're allowed.
No.
Listen.
Four.
Four, okay? Don't.
- I'm watching Ron give Sam an attitude.
Everyone's mood is shifting.
Something's gonna go down.
What's wrong with you? You [Bleep.]
Me over.
Oh, this is so embarrassing.
- Yo, Ron.
Come here, I wanna talk to you.
I don't care if you're drunk or not I am not dealing with you two fighting! - I don't give a [Bleep.]
What Ron wants to [bleep.]
Do with his life.
I don't wanna be with him.
[Background noise.]
It's a little bit emotional.
Like what am I supposed to do, like - I understand.
- Go to a corner? No, I understand.
- Like what do you want me to do? Just let it go.
- It's not a big deal, Sam.
- Drunk? Just let it go.
Just let it go.
- Here, sit down, sit down.
- Mike, where- sit down right here.
- Here they are.
Nicole.
Nicole! - You seem really fun.
- So do you.
- I'm really fun.
You don't understand- - here.
- You don't understand how fun I am.
- I think you're the [bleep.]
Awesomest chick I've ever met.
But, uh - Let's just go home.
- Jen! You guys going home soon? - Are you ready? - Yeah, I'm ready.
- All right.
- Let's go.
- You know who I called already? AhSweet sugar Hannah? [Laughing.]
I- [Bleep.]
! Mike.
I'm not saying a word.
- I want to hook up with that guy.
- Who? No, he was a douche bag! - You don't tell me what- - he didn't want to give you his number.
- Is that him? - Public intoxication.
Stop.
Act normal.
Please.
Good girl.
Let's go home.
I love you.
Do you love me? - I love you, but I'm fine! Up.
Up.
Up.
Oh, [Bleep.]
.
If you don't feel good, let me know.
No, I feel fine.
Huh? Watch your step, d.
[Mumbling.]
Oh! Whoo! - Grazie, grazie.
Grazie.
Grazie.
- Grazie, grazie she's so ugly.
Do you think I'm prettier than her? Yes.
- Like say it was me and her in the club.
Who would you pick? - Definitely you.
Why? Do you like Mike? Is that why you're saying that? - No, I'm just saying like any girl that you guys get with, I'm like They're ugly.
- Well, we can't have you, so What do you want us to do? - Shush.
Um We are gonna hang out again.
I'm in the smush room with Britney.
We ended up doing a little [Bleep.]
Pop.
That's a little uh, uh, and a little [Bleep.]
Pop.
Put it together, it's a [Bleep.]
Pop.
Now, do you need me to Call your friend to pick you up? Or I can definitely get you a taxi.
Yeah, hi.
I'd like to order a taxi.
- You going home? - Ciao, Bella.
- That was quick.
- Outta here? Nice meeting you.
- Toodles, whore.
- Sure we'll never see you again.
Night, gorgeous.
Holy tan line.
- It's not my fault that my butt's big.
- Your what? [Laughing.]
- What the [Bleep.]
Are you doing? No offense, I'm not hatin', but that girl's [Bleep.]
Ugly.
You can do better.
- You're right, I can do better.
- I'm just sayin'.
- I know.
I woulda went home with you, but You're never around.
- Huh? I'm always around.
What are you talking about? - It's just different with you.
You're not just somebody to take home.
There's definitely something between me and you somewhere.
- I feel like we're very close, and you can tell me anything.
- Like very, very close.
- Mm-hmm.
- Like a little bit more close thanThan - Like we can talk about anything-you know that.
- I know, but it's just we've hooked up before and You know, I care for you more than a friend, you know? I now respect you have a boyfriend.
But I've grown to like love your personality and like love you as a person, you know? You know we're really good friends andThat's it.
- Yeah, well, I see the way you look at me and - Mike, I look at you as like a really good friend, and I look out for you.
I care about you.
- You care about me.
- But it's nothing like - It'sBelieve me- - more than that.
Whatever.
I'm-I-I-beg to differ.
I think there's a little something there.
And I-and if you don't think so, then you don't think so.
[Soft song.]
Oh, it ain't easy how can I be sure - Ronnie was so funny last night.
He said, "watch what happens, bro.
I got like five girls coming to the house right now.
" - I never said that you said you wanted to snuggle.
- Not what you said this morning.
- You're gonna go and put me on blast? Out everyone, really, pauly? Pauly sold her out.
- Is it still laundry and food? - Yeah, buddy.
- Are we all ready? - Hold on.
I'm coming.
- Ronnie! Ron! - All right, see ya.
- Wait.
Where's Snooki? - Nicole's sleeping.
Let's go.
[Speaking Italian.]
- Yo, Ronnie hit the concrete last night like a basketball.
Are you kidding me? - I don't want him and you being drunk.
You guys are a bad time, like for real.
- Stop it.
- I'm just telling you.
I'm telling you the truth.
When Ronnie and Sammi are drunk, they turn into different people.
There's no getting through to them.
- I went to bed.
I left the situation.
Normally, I would sit there and fight.
- Good.
Good for you.
You did the right thing.
Pauly said he's surprised nothing escalated.
It wouldn't have, though.
Like, I'm not gonna do that anymore like in Jersey.
- Why can't you guys just say [Bleep.]
It and have a good time and not- - you know what the thing is? You both need to go out and not worry about what each other is doing.
- This needs to stop.
You people are in high school.
You need to grow up, and you need to find a happy medium.
- I have feelings for Ron.
I always will.
So it's hard living with your ex-boyfriend and going out and dealing with this.
It's just difficult.
And I'm dealing with it the best way I can.
I think I've been doing pretty [Bleep.]
Good.
- I just wanted to be open and honest, like whatever I say to anybody else, I'm saying to you.
- Ronnie was so funny last night.
He was like, "watch what happens, bro.
" He was like, "I got like five girls coming to the house right now.
" - Mike always has to cross that line.
We had squashed a beef, but Mike's trying to start problems.
Like he was just drunk.
He didn't know what was going on, you know what I mean? Obviously, there wasn't, you know? - Whatever happens happens.
Ron can do whatever he wants.
I'm not gonna let the whole Ron thing really get to me.
Just not.
- Ready to go? Let's go.
- Yeah.
- Ciao.
[Pop music.]
- Ron, you wanna go in? - Nah - I'll go in naked with you if you want.
- In that case, then I'll do it, yeah.
Vinny's like, you know, I really wanna go in the jacuzzi.
I'm like, you know what, [Bleep.]
, vin.
I'll get in there with you.
[Bleep.]
.
- It's like a pot.
- Ha ha! I feel like I'm in chicken soup.
Soup with the muscles.
[Laughing.]
[Folksy Italian music.]
This could be real romantic.
Turn the lights off in this place, dog.
- Oh, don't [Bleep.]
Try to pull anything on me, bro.
- It's like hard to be in a jacuzzi with two guys.
- Yeah, it keeps like pushing me towards you.
It's like a love cozy, becauseIt gravitates you toward each other.
[Folk tune playing, guys laughing.]
I give up.
It's definitely a jacuzzi for a guy and a girl so that you guys can get close.
- Are you going to sleep? - Yeah.
- Is this bed big enough? Hey, smooch over.
- Ooh.
- Oy.
Comfortable, right? Mike got into my bed and tried to like cuddle with me.
And I'm kind of like, ehh.
'Cause me and Mike really aren't like that.
Actually, I'm falling off.
- Come on.
- Ugh.
Do you wanna smoke? Yeah.
You going to bed? Yeah, I'm going to bed.
Good night.
- Yo, fellas, we're gonna go eat with the girls.
This matches with the gold glasses, gold watch.
Yeah, buddy.
Fresh from the feetUp! Let's go.
- Mike.
- Yeah.
- We're rolling out, son.
- All right.
I gotta change my sneakers, that's all.
- How about Mike last night? [Laughs.]
Did you see him? [Laughter.]
- Oh, my God, like When he came in? He's weird! - What happened? - He came on my bed like, "let's cuddle," and I was like- I looked around, and I looked at him and I was like, "I think I need to go smoke a cigarette.
" [Laughing.]
- Mike! - I'm coming right now.
Hold on.
Oh, it's beautiful out.
Which cafe we going to? This way.
Thank God for vincenzo.
- We're here! - Oh, we made it.
- I love Rome! I mean Italy.
[Laughing.]
- They bring us up to the rooftop, and it was just like I love Florence it's my best thing - Look how the sun is just shining on the church.
What's that church called? - Where someone just got married.
- It starts with a "v".
Vatican.
- Vatican.
That's the one that Leonardo di vinci painted with his hand.
- I'm pretty sure it was Michelangelo.
Thanks for correcting me.
- What'd you drink last night, 'cause you were - Yeah, what was good with you last night, bro? - They said you tried to cuddle with deena, she turned you down.
No.
I said you got on the bed and then we went to smoke a cigarette.
- That's messed up-not what you said this morning.
- Not this morning.
- Shut up! - I'm just saying what she said.
- Really? - No.
That's not what I said.
What'd you say, then? - I said that he was drunk and he was trying to cuddle.
- Oh, all right.
- What are you talking about? I wasn't trying to cuddle with you.
- Is this bed big enough? Smooch over? - Ooh.
- Oy.
Comfortable, right? - Why are you trying to say- - I wasn't- that didn't happen.
I said you got in my bed and you were like, "move over.
Can we both fit?" I said no.
- It was no like.
.
"Mike wanted to snuggle, and I said no.
" - No, I never said you wanted to snuggle.
- Okay.
'Cause I don't want to, just so you know.
- 'Cause that didn't- - oh! Wow! - Pauly, you're supposed to be my best friend, and you're gonna go and like put me on blast and make me feel like [Bleep.]
? Out of everyone, really? Pauly? - I hate seeing her upset, 'cause it's not her at all.
It was really that bad? Yes! Pauly sold her out.
And she was like, "come on, pauly, stop, I didn't say that," and he was like, "no, but you did.
" Like.
.
He threw her under the bus.
I think pauly knows, like he's not stupid, deena is in love with him, and if you do something like that, deena's gonna, you know, be very upset.
- You all right, Dee? - Yeah, I'm fine.
- Take a shot? - Nah.
- Give her a shot.
- Yeah, take it.
- Deena needs to lighten up and relax.
It's not that big a deal.
Okay, so sitch did want to snuggle with you or didn't- who cares? Viva la italia! Salud.
I miss you.
I just want to go in the bed and cuddle with you.
- I'm just like [Bleep.]
Me in the [Bleep.]
With a spike bat.
I'd rather not do that.
Is everybody going? Everybody here's going.
- Boo, are you going? - Yes! Watch your [Bleep.]
Tone.
No, I'm going.
- Here's a fist-pumping Pinocchio.
- You understand why I got mad at you, though, right? - Yep.
Won't happen again.
Oh, I got you something.
Ah! What is it? Italian bracelet.
- Oh! - Aw! Pauly got me a bracelet to apologize.
- I'm sorry.
- Love you.
- I got the illest [Bleep.]
Shoes.
My feet already hurt.
Yo, we're leaving.
- Round and round and round dance, we can pull the music to my head to my head, to my music is my drug, my drug, my drug - Whoa! [Thud, crash.]
- Cheers, bitch! - Whoo! Whoo! We were poppin' bottles.
We're finally fist-pumping, you know.
We're in a crowd jumping.
And it's kinda feeling like we're in Jersey again.
Discotheque! [Dance music.]
- The girls are super-young out here.
Yo, if she stillas coloring books, she's too young for you, man.
I don't think they have to be a certain age to drink, so if the girls are young, just check their I.
D.
Salud! You [Bleep.]
White boy, tonight, man.
- White boy wasted.
- Please! - I'm [Bleep.]
Up, Ron.
I'm [Bleep.]
Up.
- Come on.
Let's go to the bathroom.
- Listen, I don't want to ruin your time.
I know I'm annoying.
I know I'm bothering you no stop.
- Sam! - I know.
- Sam approaches me, and she's just like, "I want to talk.
" I can't wait anymore.
- I know, but I don't want to do this right now.
- Me and Sam drunk, having conversations about our relationship- that's definitely not the best time to have a conversation.
Samantha! - Listen, Ron- - I can't, Sam.
- , look at me, look at me, look at me.
- No.
You want to do this now.
I don't want to do this now.
- Sam! - And then when I try to do it when I'm sober, you don't want to do it.
So it's like a [Bleep.]
Up position.
So I don't want to do this now.
So have fun with deena, and enjoy yourself.
I think Sam is just drunk, and I think she's very focused on like what Ronnie's doing.
And I'm just like, "no," like"Come with me.
" I want to be friends.
Ron! - I don't know why you don't listen to me.
- Are we ready to go? Are we ready to go? - Yes.
- Get a cab! - Ron's gonna fight.
- No, he's not.
Relax.
Stop! I know, but I miss him.
- You like flip out about him, though.
I just miss him.
- If she's got a basket on a bicycle, she's too young for you, man.
If she still has the parental controls on the tv in her bedroom, she's too young for you, bro! If she only owns snow white on DVD, she's too young for you, man! - Yo, his keds still light up, he's too young for you, bro! Yo, if that [Bleep.]
Still plays laser tag, she's too young for you, bro.
That's me! - I'm the type of dude that, uh, just in case I don't bring a girl home, I like to have a plan "b" or a backup plan.
My backup plan was Britney.
- Hello? - What's up, brit? What are you doing? - Um, I'm good.
What are you doing? Do you have class tomorrow? - No.
- No? It's a free weekend.
- So why don't you come over and sleep over? - All right, bye.
- All right, sweetie.
Britney is one of the most dtf chicks I've ever met, and she'll be here in 20 minutes.
I'm going to bed.
That's your boy.
That's your chick too.
- Oh, my goodness.
- No.
- You guys just [Bleep.]
Already.
- You're just fun.
Not on our first date.
Scusi.
You're annoyed? No.
I have to get up.
Scusa.
Yo, Vinny.
Want some chapstick? Who ate my sandwich? Wieners! What is that? Balsamic vinegar, oil- - I have feelings for Ron and I love and miss him, but it's like difficult, 'cause I'm trying to be strong and I'm trying not to go back there.
But I do have feelings, so Why not act on 'em? I miss you.
I miss you.
- Don't give up on us now I love you.
I miss you.
I just want to go in the bed and cuddle with you.
I know the way she feels.
And like I kinda have feeling for her too.
I do still love her.
But like I just go back to Jersey, and I'm just like [Bleep.]
Me in the [Bleep.]
With a spike bat.
I'd rather not do that.
I'm mad hungry.
- I just want to be strong don't give up on us now don't give up on us now whoa oh oh oh whoa oh oh oh oh - deena is on a mission to find an Italian man, and I'm gonna do I it.
- It's called the smush room, dude.
- Wait right here.
I'll be right back.
First of all, if you guys [Bleep.]
A girl, I wouldn't give a [Bleep.]
! - I put the groundwork in with these twins, and looks like I'm gonna have a little threesome tonight.
- What the hell? What the hell? This is a les-be-honest experience right now.
Deena pulled a robbery, hardcore.
- Mike told people about what you guys did-everyone.
- OhDude! That's [Bleep.]
Up.
I don't want to be friends with you.
I don't like you.
You're [Bleep.]
Up.
Sub: Adriano_CSI
It was fun.
She's a good kisser.
I'm a good kisser.
- Let's hook up and cuddle.
- Yeah, I know.
My game plan is Flirt with pauly.
Make out with him a couple of times, then who knows, maybe his Italian sausage will be in my [Bleep.]
.
- What was Mike trying to do with you? - He just keeps touching me.
It's gross.
I'm like, "get off of me.
" [Bleep.]
Deena, please.
- I'm probably going to but I feel bad, though.
Why? - Because if I hook up with other girls, I don't want her to get feelings like that, though.
- No, 'cause she knows you guys are best friends, but she's always wanted to [Bleep.]
You, so - I know, but, like, let's just say I [Bleep.]
Her tonight and I [Bleep.]
Other girls.
I don't want her to cry.
You know what I'm saying? Never in my life have I met a girl that could just hook up and have no feelings.
They always end up having some kind of feelings somewhere.
[Dance music plays.]
- What's your name? - Andrea.
- You should give me your number.
Nombre.
- No.
- Yes.
Si.
- I have a boyfriend.
Aah! I talked to pauly.
Pauly said he wants to [Bleep.]
Deena tonight, but no strings attached.
- Yeah, but I don't want her to [Bleep.]
Him and then like get feelings for him.
That's what I said.
It's like a me and Vinny situation.
Like I know what happened with me and Vinny, and it just kind of like ruined our friendship.
I don't want that to happen with deena and pauly.
I'm really just concerned that deena's gonna wake up tomorrow and be like, "I like pauly.
" And then what? Yo! Pauly! No, no, come with me.
I just wanna talk to you.
Girl talk.
- If I do sex with him, it is what it is.
Do you think I give- - and that's it? - Yeah.
I don't give a [Bleep.]
.
- All right.
I definitely think that pauly and deena are gonna smush.
It just really comes down to timing-when and where? Let's get outta here.
I gotta go.
- Let's go home and get this party started.
- If you hook up with deena tonight, bro, I would appreciate it.
- [Snickers.]
[Bleep.]
, you are a nice guy.
- It's gonna be like me and Vinny.
- No, it's not, because me and- - yes, it is.
- Me and pauly are completely different.
- You just wanna get it in.
Yeah, exactly.
Che Bella, la casa! - So I get the first Skittles.
Whoa! Ha.
Where's the closest bathroom? I'm trying not to piss in public.
- Come on, Pierre.
Do the Jersey turnpike.
Beep beep beep There ya go.
[Line ringing.]
- Hello? - Yeah, it's Ronnie.
Hey! Oh, my God, how's Italy? - It's crazy.
This girl Hannah, she's helped me out with a lot of [Bleep.]
That I was going through with Sam.
And I just called her just to hear her voice, I guess.
I told ya I'd call you.
I just wanna feel that normalcy with somebody, like where I can have a normal conversation without fighting.
So when are you coming to visit me? You gonna visit me? I'll come to Italy.
- D! Bring Pierre over here.
- Pierre's just shy of jumping off the ledge and everything.
- What? Jumping off the ledge? - And then he tried falling in the jacuzzi also.
Ooh! [Laughing.]
- Deena is clumsy.
She falls all the time.
- Good night.
- Bye, Ron.
Bye-bye.
[Belch.]
Where's my [Bleep.]
Spoon? Where's my spoon? - Pauly might help you out with that spoon.
- I'm a spooner.
Good work.
- You going to bed? - Yeah.
- Good night.
- Good night, everybody.
- I definitely wanna smush pauly.
You know, we could be like friends with benefits.
[Whispers.]
Pauly.
Pauly.
This is such a bad time.
I care for you a lot.
Like I think you're like an awesome person.
If jionni can't make Snooki happy, the situation's happy to step up to the plate and hit a homer.
- That looks like a lot of work.
- Yeah.
Making coffee in Italy's like making coffee in the 1600s.
That's the machine? - I guess.
[Bleep.]
Directions are in Italian.
He didn't budge! [Snickers.]
Who comes to Italy to sleep? Not me.
- Did you find a supermarket to go to? - Yeah.
- Hey, we're leaving! Nice windbreaker, bro! Let's go.
- Look how cute these little places are.
- It looks like a movie set.
- It does not look real right now.
- No.
- It looks like beauty and the beast or some [Bleep.]
.
I feel like people are gonna start singing out their windows.
- It's our first Sunday in Italy.
Now, we always have Sunday dinner back home.
We're gonna do it right out here in Italy and hit the grocery store, get everything we need.
Can we get a pineapple? God! Everything's in another language.
- [Bleep.]
Looks [Bleep.]
Like an alie yeah.
Yo, we need wheat bread.
- Is that wheat? - Uh-uh.
It's classico.
- Is this wheat? - I dunno.
- Is this wheat? Oh, my God, it's so hard in a grocery store trying to figure out what the hell is what.
Like you're reading, and it's like different words.
Is this artichokes? Like what the hell is this? Like nothing is in English.
What the hell? Which one's shampoo here? I think it says shampoo.
- How do you say "nice to meet you" in Italian? - Piacere.
- Piaceres.
- What good roommates we are.
- Where'd you go? - Went shopping.
- Shopping.
- For dinner.
- Why don't me and deena cook? - For real? - Yeah.
- Thank you.
- I am a good cook.
If somebody let me cook something, I will cook a good Sunday dinner.
- Do you know how to make like meat sauce? - I'm gonna make my own concoction.
[Light music.]
All right, let's go.
Should we have a glass of wine while we cook? - Oh, my God, yes! - We'll be like real Italian ladies cooking dinner.
- I'm so proud of myself for not falling last night.
This is the garlic? This is scallion, not [Bleep.]
Garlic.
What is this? Tell me these are strawberries.
These are like weird strawberries.
Are these good like this? - Yeah.
Those are like raspberries.
Oh.
- We have to do these [Bleep.]
Dishes also.
There's actual dishwashing detergent.
"Intenso.
Automatico.
" Just shut it.
Maybe it'll go.
- I haven't eaten yet at all today.
- Do you wanna go get like a quick bite to eat? - Let me just bread these chicken cutlets.
We got some stuff ready, and then me, jenni, and Sammi were like, "let's go out for a little bit.
When we come home, we'll cook.
" - I didn't realize how cold it was.
- Look at the little sandwiches.
Yo, I'm starving.
What's for supper? Where is- where are the girls? The girls are out, and I'm starting to suspect that they're not gonna cook dinner.
What? [Bleep.]
All over the floor now.
- I was really looking forward to eating a good Sunday meal.
- Yeah, so was I.
- Yeah.
A- and they said they wanted to cook.
I said hey, fine.
I love this little cafe.
How's your egg sandwich? Good.
- Should we just start cooking? - We should just do it, no? - Yeah.
- We pay him in there? - Yeah.
- Let's peace out of this bitch.
Come si dice paper towel? - [Indistinct.]
Carta or some [Bleep.]
Like that.
- Carta or some [Bleep.]
Like that- si.
Someone's here.
You better not be cooking.
No.
- We're cooking! - Really? Now I'm pissed.
You guys suck! - We didn't know when you were coming home.
I'm likeReally? Bellissima! I'm annoyed.
I wanted to frigging cook.
That's all.
Is Nicole still sleeping? - What? - Nicole's still sleeping? - She's here? - She's here? Nicole, are you kidding me? Get your ass up! I don't know how people can sleep the whole damn day away.
I can't.
But Nicole loves her sleep.
Nope.
You put the pasta in before it boils? - Don't worry.
We got a drainer.
- Ha ha.
Look at Mike's face.
Yeah, buddy.
- Hurry up, Nicole.
- Coming.
Can I have some salad? - Sure.
Our first Sunday dinner.
- Ciao, grazie.
Jersey, we do Sunday dinner.
Miami, we do Sunday dinner.
So we're gonna continue to make the tradition live on out here in Italy- Sunday dinner.
This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing, coming to Italy, everybody coming for the first time, so just know we shared it with everybody at this table.
Salud.
- Salud.
Salute! Prego! Hello.
Hey, babe! - So where the [Bleep.]
You been? Like I don't understand what you do.
I don't hear from you for an entire day.
- Dude, we're on like different time zones.
Like what do you want me to do? - I don't know how you can go through an entire day not talking to me.
- Why are you so mad at me? Stop.
- I heard Snooki talking to jionni on the phone.
You know, she's upset, but the situation is very good when it comes to relationship advice.
- How can you go through an entire day without talking to me? - It's hard, babe.
I legit wake up at like - Don't let this bother you.
- You wanna call me later? Okay.
- Bye.
- Come on, you don't wanna feel bad.
Come on.
- That was horrible.
- Come on.
- I feel like jionni worries too much, and I feel like, you know, he doesn't trust me sometimes.
- Here.
Come here.
Mwah! It's so beautiful out here.
Everybody's having such a good time, like Don't let that bother you.
You know? I care you for you a lot and I just want you to be happy.
You know? What I don't want Is for you not to be yourself, for you not to be happy.
- I know.
- If jionni can't make Snooki happy, you know, the situation's happy to step up to the plate and hit a homer.
You like deserve everything, you know? You deserve the world.
- Thank you.
- So don't let somebody get you upset.
- No, it just sucks.
- I'm glad you came to me, too, okay? - Mm-hmm.
'Cause I got you.
- [Kiss.]
Thank you.
No problem.
- Hold on one second.
Hold on a second.
What is this? - Oh.
[Bleep.]
Nice.
Come si dice lost? - Is this the Vatican? - Yeah, I think so.
It's so nice.
- I feel like we're very close and you can tell me anything.
- Like very, very close.
- Mm-hmm.
- We've hooked up before and You know, I care for you more than a friend.
- Hello? - Hello.
- Who are you? - I'm Vinny.
- Who's this? - Hi, Vinny.
- Hi.
- Vinny, I'm Marco.
- I'm the owner of the best pizzeria in Florence, - okay.
- And, uh You work for me, you and your friends.
- Okay.
- And I want you at 3:00 for orientation.
Don't be late, man.
- Uh, we won't be late.
[Laughs.]
- Okay, okay, great.
- Okay.
- Ciao.
Who was that? - Marco.
We're gonna be working for him in a pizzeria.
And we have to go there today at 3:00.
- So we should probably leave now.
- We're all working at a pizzeria, bro.
- You serious? - Yeah.
- 3:00 orientation.
Let's go.
[Speaking Italian.]
- I got my wallet, chapstick.
Oh, like I match so well.
Let's go to work.
- I'm coming back to sleep after we do this [Bleep.]
.
[Folksy Italian tune.]
[Bleep.]
.
Hold on one second.
Hold on a second.
What is this? Lamberti? Oh, [Bleep.]
My life.
Come si dice lost? Is this the Vatican? - Yeah, I think so.
It's so nice.
Oh, wait.
Right here.
That's where we have to go? - Hey, guys.
- What's up, my man? - Ciao.
- Ciao.
- That's a little bit late, guys.
- Yeah, buddy.
- Yeah.
- It looks like a domino's version of Italy pizza.
- Nothing like heat after a hangover.
We're working at a [Bleep.]
Pizzeria in Florence.
When I'm 80 years old and I'm making pizza in my kitchen and I'm teaching my kids how to make pizza, and they ask me, "oh, where'd you make pizza?" Bitch, I made it in Florence.
That's where I made pizza.
So shut your mouth and enjoy my pizza.
All your attention, hey! I'm loud.
Is that all right? Okay.
Now we make a pizza, the first and the last time that I show you.
- Can we ask questions if we forget? - No question.
- Oh.
I want one of us Maybe I prefer you.
- Me? - If you can come here.
- You know, there's eight of us, and obviously, he pois me out, and I'm like dear [Bleep bleep.]
.
Like I don't speak Italian.
How am I the [Bleep.]
Supposed to know how to cook a pizza? - What do you want, a Margarita? - Extra sauce.
- Pepperoni.
- Extra pepperoni? Okay.
- You have pepperoni? - You talk to me about Sweet pepper, vegetable, or you talk to me about hot salami.
- Hot salami.
Yeah.
- Hot salami.
Okay.
- She loves hot salami.
- Yeah, she does.
- She loves hot salami.
- Vinny, shut up.
- She likes a braciole.
- Okay, don't worry.
You follow me? - Ooh, it's soft.
It's like a baby's butt.
Yo, can that be my job? I dj, I spin records.
I can spin pizza.
That's my job.
Oh, God.
[Laughter.]
- Oh, I broke it.
I broke it.
- Don't worry, don't worry.
We fix.
- I feel like I have splinters.
- Guys, we're on orientation.
Pay attention.
It's not that bad.
- They want a diavola.
- Huh? So Marco, like, he understands how to speak English, but not like very well.
Like that? - No.
No more.
No more.
- Like, how am I supposed to have a job with a boss and I don't know what he's saying? - Two second, take it.
- Right now? With this? - With this, with this, with this.
It's burning.
Huh? I don't know what you're saying.
You're making me nervous.
Here, here.
- Yay! - Cool.
- Snooks made the first pizza pie.
Came out pretty good.
I mean, if Snooki can do it, we all can do it.
Right? You know what I mean? - Okay, guys, thank you for your attenti.
[Overlapping good-byes.]
- Looking forward to learning this business.
We won't mess it up for you.
Ciao.
- See you next week.
- Next week.
- What's the plan? I wanna go home.
I want a coffee.
- Uh-oh, somebody's making coffee.
Is this a grinder? Yikes.
No way.
I need a grinder.
I have three grinders at my house.
What is this, a ravioli maker? What are you crushing? Coffee beans.
- That looks like a lot of work to make coffee.
- Yeah.
We aren't in [Bleep.]
America anymore.
Making coffee in Italy is like making coffee in the 1600s.
- I never knew how to make coffee before.
That's the machine? - I guess.
The directions are in Italian.
Is the coffee ready yet? - You're gonna enjoy making your own cup.
- Oh - Oh! All right.
- Hot.
I'm never making a cup of coffee again.
Hot.
I wanna go out.
- How long till we go? - Like 20 minutes.
These.
You guys ready? - Hello! - Yo.
- As soon as I entered astor, there's beauti- not beautiful, butHa ha.
A cute little blond girl comes right up to me and says hi, and I say, "hey, that was pretty easy.
" Mike! - I think you're hot.
- Mike! This girl's name is Britney, and she's actually an American girl from Florida.
She's really ugly.
I thought she was cute.
That girl I'm talking to is cute, right? - Sure.
- Pauly! You must think I'm gorgeous then.
You are.
[Dance music plays.]
Man up, bro.
This is how it goes down out here.
- I'm taking this one? - Yeah.
- Wait, wait, hold, wait, wait, wait If I'm having a good time, we're all having a good [Bleep.]
Time.
- Are you gonna stay here? I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Stay right here.
- She's going to the bathroom.
She'll be okay.
- I'm not worried about her.
Three weeksI'm gonna have a very nice guest.
Yoyou know my guest.
- So Ron has a backup chick.
Her name is Hannah.
Ron is going to fly this girl out.
Do you know about a guest he's bringing in a couple weeks? - No.
Hot girl? Oh, no.
- He just told me.
- Are you gonna tell Sam? - I don't know.
I don't know if Sam knows about this other chick, but if I tell her, she will flip out.
Now what? Busted! [Indistinct background chatter.]
She's so ugly.
Do you think I'm prettier than her? - Why, do you like Mike? Is that why you're saying that? - Ronnie is pretty damn sloppy right now at the club.
My boy wasted I'm in rare form right now.
stupid face-Ted I haven't seen him this bad since single Ronnie in Miami.
Come on, Mike, show- - no, don't go- - no, show.
You pick.
Your choice.
Come on, baby.
- Mike, show it.
Mike, Mike! I'm the pimp daddy Mac of this whole place.
I [Bleep.]
Four girls before we left.
- And you know why? You know why? 'Cause you're single, that's why.
- No.
Three girls.
Three days, four girls.
- You're That's [Bleep.]
Up.
That's [Bleep.]
Up.
- You're single.
You can do that.
You're allowed.
You're allowed.
No.
Listen.
Four.
Four, okay? Don't.
- I'm watching Ron give Sam an attitude.
Everyone's mood is shifting.
Something's gonna go down.
What's wrong with you? You [Bleep.]
Me over.
Oh, this is so embarrassing.
- Yo, Ron.
Come here, I wanna talk to you.
I don't care if you're drunk or not I am not dealing with you two fighting! - I don't give a [Bleep.]
What Ron wants to [bleep.]
Do with his life.
I don't wanna be with him.
[Background noise.]
It's a little bit emotional.
Like what am I supposed to do, like - I understand.
- Go to a corner? No, I understand.
- Like what do you want me to do? Just let it go.
- It's not a big deal, Sam.
- Drunk? Just let it go.
Just let it go.
- Here, sit down, sit down.
- Mike, where- sit down right here.
- Here they are.
Nicole.
Nicole! - You seem really fun.
- So do you.
- I'm really fun.
You don't understand- - here.
- You don't understand how fun I am.
- I think you're the [bleep.]
Awesomest chick I've ever met.
But, uh - Let's just go home.
- Jen! You guys going home soon? - Are you ready? - Yeah, I'm ready.
- All right.
- Let's go.
- You know who I called already? AhSweet sugar Hannah? [Laughing.]
I- [Bleep.]
! Mike.
I'm not saying a word.
- I want to hook up with that guy.
- Who? No, he was a douche bag! - You don't tell me what- - he didn't want to give you his number.
- Is that him? - Public intoxication.
Stop.
Act normal.
Please.
Good girl.
Let's go home.
I love you.
Do you love me? - I love you, but I'm fine! Up.
Up.
Up.
Oh, [Bleep.]
.
If you don't feel good, let me know.
No, I feel fine.
Huh? Watch your step, d.
[Mumbling.]
Oh! Whoo! - Grazie, grazie.
Grazie.
Grazie.
- Grazie, grazie she's so ugly.
Do you think I'm prettier than her? Yes.
- Like say it was me and her in the club.
Who would you pick? - Definitely you.
Why? Do you like Mike? Is that why you're saying that? - No, I'm just saying like any girl that you guys get with, I'm like They're ugly.
- Well, we can't have you, so What do you want us to do? - Shush.
Um We are gonna hang out again.
I'm in the smush room with Britney.
We ended up doing a little [Bleep.]
Pop.
That's a little uh, uh, and a little [Bleep.]
Pop.
Put it together, it's a [Bleep.]
Pop.
Now, do you need me to Call your friend to pick you up? Or I can definitely get you a taxi.
Yeah, hi.
I'd like to order a taxi.
- You going home? - Ciao, Bella.
- That was quick.
- Outta here? Nice meeting you.
- Toodles, whore.
- Sure we'll never see you again.
Night, gorgeous.
Holy tan line.
- It's not my fault that my butt's big.
- Your what? [Laughing.]
- What the [Bleep.]
Are you doing? No offense, I'm not hatin', but that girl's [Bleep.]
Ugly.
You can do better.
- You're right, I can do better.
- I'm just sayin'.
- I know.
I woulda went home with you, but You're never around.
- Huh? I'm always around.
What are you talking about? - It's just different with you.
You're not just somebody to take home.
There's definitely something between me and you somewhere.
- I feel like we're very close, and you can tell me anything.
- Like very, very close.
- Mm-hmm.
- Like a little bit more close thanThan - Like we can talk about anything-you know that.
- I know, but it's just we've hooked up before and You know, I care for you more than a friend, you know? I now respect you have a boyfriend.
But I've grown to like love your personality and like love you as a person, you know? You know we're really good friends andThat's it.
- Yeah, well, I see the way you look at me and - Mike, I look at you as like a really good friend, and I look out for you.
I care about you.
- You care about me.
- But it's nothing like - It'sBelieve me- - more than that.
Whatever.
I'm-I-I-beg to differ.
I think there's a little something there.
And I-and if you don't think so, then you don't think so.
[Soft song.]
Oh, it ain't easy how can I be sure - Ronnie was so funny last night.
He said, "watch what happens, bro.
I got like five girls coming to the house right now.
" - I never said that you said you wanted to snuggle.
- Not what you said this morning.
- You're gonna go and put me on blast? Out everyone, really, pauly? Pauly sold her out.
- Is it still laundry and food? - Yeah, buddy.
- Are we all ready? - Hold on.
I'm coming.
- Ronnie! Ron! - All right, see ya.
- Wait.
Where's Snooki? - Nicole's sleeping.
Let's go.
[Speaking Italian.]
- Yo, Ronnie hit the concrete last night like a basketball.
Are you kidding me? - I don't want him and you being drunk.
You guys are a bad time, like for real.
- Stop it.
- I'm just telling you.
I'm telling you the truth.
When Ronnie and Sammi are drunk, they turn into different people.
There's no getting through to them.
- I went to bed.
I left the situation.
Normally, I would sit there and fight.
- Good.
Good for you.
You did the right thing.
Pauly said he's surprised nothing escalated.
It wouldn't have, though.
Like, I'm not gonna do that anymore like in Jersey.
- Why can't you guys just say [Bleep.]
It and have a good time and not- - you know what the thing is? You both need to go out and not worry about what each other is doing.
- This needs to stop.
You people are in high school.
You need to grow up, and you need to find a happy medium.
- I have feelings for Ron.
I always will.
So it's hard living with your ex-boyfriend and going out and dealing with this.
It's just difficult.
And I'm dealing with it the best way I can.
I think I've been doing pretty [Bleep.]
Good.
- I just wanted to be open and honest, like whatever I say to anybody else, I'm saying to you.
- Ronnie was so funny last night.
He was like, "watch what happens, bro.
" He was like, "I got like five girls coming to the house right now.
" - Mike always has to cross that line.
We had squashed a beef, but Mike's trying to start problems.
Like he was just drunk.
He didn't know what was going on, you know what I mean? Obviously, there wasn't, you know? - Whatever happens happens.
Ron can do whatever he wants.
I'm not gonna let the whole Ron thing really get to me.
Just not.
- Ready to go? Let's go.
- Yeah.
- Ciao.
[Pop music.]
- Ron, you wanna go in? - Nah - I'll go in naked with you if you want.
- In that case, then I'll do it, yeah.
Vinny's like, you know, I really wanna go in the jacuzzi.
I'm like, you know what, [Bleep.]
, vin.
I'll get in there with you.
[Bleep.]
.
- It's like a pot.
- Ha ha! I feel like I'm in chicken soup.
Soup with the muscles.
[Laughing.]
[Folksy Italian music.]
This could be real romantic.
Turn the lights off in this place, dog.
- Oh, don't [Bleep.]
Try to pull anything on me, bro.
- It's like hard to be in a jacuzzi with two guys.
- Yeah, it keeps like pushing me towards you.
It's like a love cozy, becauseIt gravitates you toward each other.
[Folk tune playing, guys laughing.]
I give up.
It's definitely a jacuzzi for a guy and a girl so that you guys can get close.
- Are you going to sleep? - Yeah.
- Is this bed big enough? Hey, smooch over.
- Ooh.
- Oy.
Comfortable, right? Mike got into my bed and tried to like cuddle with me.
And I'm kind of like, ehh.
'Cause me and Mike really aren't like that.
Actually, I'm falling off.
- Come on.
- Ugh.
Do you wanna smoke? Yeah.
You going to bed? Yeah, I'm going to bed.
Good night.
- Yo, fellas, we're gonna go eat with the girls.
This matches with the gold glasses, gold watch.
Yeah, buddy.
Fresh from the feetUp! Let's go.
- Mike.
- Yeah.
- We're rolling out, son.
- All right.
I gotta change my sneakers, that's all.
- How about Mike last night? [Laughs.]
Did you see him? [Laughter.]
- Oh, my God, like When he came in? He's weird! - What happened? - He came on my bed like, "let's cuddle," and I was like- I looked around, and I looked at him and I was like, "I think I need to go smoke a cigarette.
" [Laughing.]
- Mike! - I'm coming right now.
Hold on.
Oh, it's beautiful out.
Which cafe we going to? This way.
Thank God for vincenzo.
- We're here! - Oh, we made it.
- I love Rome! I mean Italy.
[Laughing.]
- They bring us up to the rooftop, and it was just like I love Florence it's my best thing - Look how the sun is just shining on the church.
What's that church called? - Where someone just got married.
- It starts with a "v".
Vatican.
- Vatican.
That's the one that Leonardo di vinci painted with his hand.
- I'm pretty sure it was Michelangelo.
Thanks for correcting me.
- What'd you drink last night, 'cause you were - Yeah, what was good with you last night, bro? - They said you tried to cuddle with deena, she turned you down.
No.
I said you got on the bed and then we went to smoke a cigarette.
- That's messed up-not what you said this morning.
- Not this morning.
- Shut up! - I'm just saying what she said.
- Really? - No.
That's not what I said.
What'd you say, then? - I said that he was drunk and he was trying to cuddle.
- Oh, all right.
- What are you talking about? I wasn't trying to cuddle with you.
- Is this bed big enough? Smooch over? - Ooh.
- Oy.
Comfortable, right? - Why are you trying to say- - I wasn't- that didn't happen.
I said you got in my bed and you were like, "move over.
Can we both fit?" I said no.
- It was no like.
.
"Mike wanted to snuggle, and I said no.
" - No, I never said you wanted to snuggle.
- Okay.
'Cause I don't want to, just so you know.
- 'Cause that didn't- - oh! Wow! - Pauly, you're supposed to be my best friend, and you're gonna go and like put me on blast and make me feel like [Bleep.]
? Out of everyone, really? Pauly? - I hate seeing her upset, 'cause it's not her at all.
It was really that bad? Yes! Pauly sold her out.
And she was like, "come on, pauly, stop, I didn't say that," and he was like, "no, but you did.
" Like.
.
He threw her under the bus.
I think pauly knows, like he's not stupid, deena is in love with him, and if you do something like that, deena's gonna, you know, be very upset.
- You all right, Dee? - Yeah, I'm fine.
- Take a shot? - Nah.
- Give her a shot.
- Yeah, take it.
- Deena needs to lighten up and relax.
It's not that big a deal.
Okay, so sitch did want to snuggle with you or didn't- who cares? Viva la italia! Salud.
I miss you.
I just want to go in the bed and cuddle with you.
- I'm just like [Bleep.]
Me in the [Bleep.]
With a spike bat.
I'd rather not do that.
Is everybody going? Everybody here's going.
- Boo, are you going? - Yes! Watch your [Bleep.]
Tone.
No, I'm going.
- Here's a fist-pumping Pinocchio.
- You understand why I got mad at you, though, right? - Yep.
Won't happen again.
Oh, I got you something.
Ah! What is it? Italian bracelet.
- Oh! - Aw! Pauly got me a bracelet to apologize.
- I'm sorry.
- Love you.
- I got the illest [Bleep.]
Shoes.
My feet already hurt.
Yo, we're leaving.
- Round and round and round dance, we can pull the music to my head to my head, to my music is my drug, my drug, my drug - Whoa! [Thud, crash.]
- Cheers, bitch! - Whoo! Whoo! We were poppin' bottles.
We're finally fist-pumping, you know.
We're in a crowd jumping.
And it's kinda feeling like we're in Jersey again.
Discotheque! [Dance music.]
- The girls are super-young out here.
Yo, if she stillas coloring books, she's too young for you, man.
I don't think they have to be a certain age to drink, so if the girls are young, just check their I.
D.
Salud! You [Bleep.]
White boy, tonight, man.
- White boy wasted.
- Please! - I'm [Bleep.]
Up, Ron.
I'm [Bleep.]
Up.
- Come on.
Let's go to the bathroom.
- Listen, I don't want to ruin your time.
I know I'm annoying.
I know I'm bothering you no stop.
- Sam! - I know.
- Sam approaches me, and she's just like, "I want to talk.
" I can't wait anymore.
- I know, but I don't want to do this right now.
- Me and Sam drunk, having conversations about our relationship- that's definitely not the best time to have a conversation.
Samantha! - Listen, Ron- - I can't, Sam.
- , look at me, look at me, look at me.
- No.
You want to do this now.
I don't want to do this now.
- Sam! - And then when I try to do it when I'm sober, you don't want to do it.
So it's like a [Bleep.]
Up position.
So I don't want to do this now.
So have fun with deena, and enjoy yourself.
I think Sam is just drunk, and I think she's very focused on like what Ronnie's doing.
And I'm just like, "no," like"Come with me.
" I want to be friends.
Ron! - I don't know why you don't listen to me.
- Are we ready to go? Are we ready to go? - Yes.
- Get a cab! - Ron's gonna fight.
- No, he's not.
Relax.
Stop! I know, but I miss him.
- You like flip out about him, though.
I just miss him.
- If she's got a basket on a bicycle, she's too young for you, man.
If she still has the parental controls on the tv in her bedroom, she's too young for you, bro! If she only owns snow white on DVD, she's too young for you, man! - Yo, his keds still light up, he's too young for you, bro! Yo, if that [Bleep.]
Still plays laser tag, she's too young for you, bro.
That's me! - I'm the type of dude that, uh, just in case I don't bring a girl home, I like to have a plan "b" or a backup plan.
My backup plan was Britney.
- Hello? - What's up, brit? What are you doing? - Um, I'm good.
What are you doing? Do you have class tomorrow? - No.
- No? It's a free weekend.
- So why don't you come over and sleep over? - All right, bye.
- All right, sweetie.
Britney is one of the most dtf chicks I've ever met, and she'll be here in 20 minutes.
I'm going to bed.
That's your boy.
That's your chick too.
- Oh, my goodness.
- No.
- You guys just [Bleep.]
Already.
- You're just fun.
Not on our first date.
Scusi.
You're annoyed? No.
I have to get up.
Scusa.
Yo, Vinny.
Want some chapstick? Who ate my sandwich? Wieners! What is that? Balsamic vinegar, oil- - I have feelings for Ron and I love and miss him, but it's like difficult, 'cause I'm trying to be strong and I'm trying not to go back there.
But I do have feelings, so Why not act on 'em? I miss you.
I miss you.
- Don't give up on us now I love you.
I miss you.
I just want to go in the bed and cuddle with you.
I know the way she feels.
And like I kinda have feeling for her too.
I do still love her.
But like I just go back to Jersey, and I'm just like [Bleep.]
Me in the [Bleep.]
With a spike bat.
I'd rather not do that.
I'm mad hungry.
- I just want to be strong don't give up on us now don't give up on us now whoa oh oh oh whoa oh oh oh oh - deena is on a mission to find an Italian man, and I'm gonna do I it.
- It's called the smush room, dude.
- Wait right here.
I'll be right back.
First of all, if you guys [Bleep.]
A girl, I wouldn't give a [Bleep.]
! - I put the groundwork in with these twins, and looks like I'm gonna have a little threesome tonight.
- What the hell? What the hell? This is a les-be-honest experience right now.
Deena pulled a robbery, hardcore.
- Mike told people about what you guys did-everyone.
- OhDude! That's [Bleep.]
Up.
I don't want to be friends with you.
I don't like you.
You're [Bleep.]
Up.
Sub: Adriano_CSI