Offspring (2010) s04e02 Episode Script

Was counselling a decision you made together? Uh, yeah.
We both thought there was things to sort out before the baby comes.
I've had an offer to sell the real estate business.
Darcy, you're not seriously? Yeah.
I might sell.
What are you gonna do with yourself? And what about Billie? Have you told her? I want you to know that this is not an easy conversation for me to have.
Can I borrow20 grand? You're saying yes! I love you! I was told to come to this floor.
I'm Eloise Ward.
I think I saw Dr Proudman's partner in the street.
Oh, yeah? Are you going? First appointment with Dr Bandari.
Mmm.
Best of the best.
Everything OK? Eloise.
Yes? Does anything strike you about her? Like what? Well, you wouldn't say she fits in.
She's new.
Give her a chance.
She doesn't find me funny.
I am the comedy around here, and she's not laughing.
Well, I haven't noticed that.
No.
You're not funny.
Yes, I am.
Uh Cherie? Hmm? See? I can do that.
Cherie? What? Hi, everyone! How are we doing tonight? One, two.
Doof! Is this microphone even working? Someone's calling me.
So Eloise doesn't think you're funny.
Who cares? Well, what's the deal with her and Patrick? Eloise and Patrick? Eloise my registrar? And Patrick your boyfriend.
Nothing.
As far as I know.
Oh.
OK.
Eloise and Patrick? No.
They don't know each other.
She's imagining it.
She's imagining it! Hey.
Hi.
Hi.
How are you? Good.
Pretty good.
I'm not funny, apparently.
According to Kim.
Well, Kim IS funny.
You nervous? Yeah, a bit.
You? Bit.
Mostly excited.
He's not acting like someone who knows my registrar.
My registrar, um I mentioned her, didn't I? Uh, Eloise? Yes.
Nina Proudman? Yes.
So, you're an obstetrician yourself? Yes.
But I promise not to be one of those doctors who's a terrible patient.
The way some medical professionals are.
Where? Uh, at Maternity at St Francis.
I really like it there.
It's very vibrant.
Isn't it? Uh, yeah.
I've got a great team that I work with You're about to hit the big career crossroads.
Yes.
Birthing babies is by far my favourite part of the job Chaotic hours Because, you know, it's just .
.
when you've got your own child.
Yes, well, we're just .
.
we're just weighing up our options at the moment to see what's best You could move to ultrasound.
The hours are more family-friendly.
OK.
Yes.
Do you have a birth plan? No.
I usually love plans, but they always seem to go out the window, so I just thought, this time, we'll just wing it.
Am I talking too much? It helps to know your ideal scenario.
Ideal would be a natural birth with no complications, no medical intervention, and certainly no drugs.
No offence.
None taken.
You're a gasser? Yes.
Oh, sorry.
Would you like to book in the day? Sorry? If you want a caesarean, you can name the day.
Oh, no, thanks.
No, she said we're We'll just let the baby decide.
Hmm.
Hey.
So, how was that? Good.
How was it for you? I'm happy if you're happy.
He's supposed to be the best.
It was really hard to get that appointment.
Yeah.
Well, you can say what you want.
Don't worry about talking too much.
Are you criticising me? No.
No, no.
But if he makes you feel like you're talking too much He doesn't.
He's just got an abrupt manner.
It's OK.
OK.
Do you know my registrar, Eloise? Sorry, just, Kim got the impression that No.
No, don't know her.
What, does she know me? It's probably nothing.
See you.
Nina? Don't know Eloise.
See you.
- She doesn't think I'm funny.
- This new registrar? Eloise.
Not funny? And it's been an unusually funny few days.
Yeah? Like what? A father who got so nervous, he weed himself.
Hilarious.
I know, right? Woman who'd dyed her pubes green.
Mmm.
Had a little tattoo above that said, "Keep off the grass.
" Eloise didn't laugh at that? Didn't crack a smile.
Pfft! It's funny.
Oh, it'll be great when you're back.
Hi, Kim.
Nina's here.
Hi, Nina.
Zara, tell Kim I'm funny.
- No can do.
- Got to go.
Kim? Um, Kim, I .
.
I asked Patrick about your stupid Eloise theory, and he said he doesn't know her.
And you're telling me? Well, you started the ball rolling.
OK.
Then I'm wrong.
Well, wh-what made you think that they knew each other? What did you base your theory on? Nothing.
Kim! I don't want to say anything.
Your mind runs off in every direction.
Alright.
Well, just just leave it, then.
Well, I assumed it was sex.
You're imagining them having sex right now, aren't you? Yes! But that thought is unfounded.
What's your name? Eloise.
Again? Eloise.
I'll never remember that.
I have to work.
She's here.
Hi, Neens.
Hi! Oh! Oh.
I'm going over here, am I? Right here.
This is good.
Mick, you be there.
Patrick, leave that.
Do I open this? Not yet.
What's happening? Some time ago .
.
you, Nina .
.
helped me and Mick get the deposit for our house.
No.
I came to you on my bended knee .
.
as your sister and asked you to loan us .
.
or lend us - whatever's right - $20,000.
Why can't I eat? Mick and I have lived in our own garage.
We have endured great hardship because of you.
Because of me? Stay with her.
Eating cans of tuna and chopped tomato on rice.
Yeah, uh, things have been going really well for the both of us.
We're gonna pay you back.
Oh! OK.
Nina? I am paying you back! We've kicked the acrobats out and we are living in our own home with a kitchen and a laundry.
You need to understand what a big deal that is.
Speech! Oh.
Billie! As your sister, I'm I'm really glad .
.
honoured to have helped you.
And by the power of .
.
Grayskull, I consider the debt paid.
Thank you! OK.
Thank you, thank you! Mwah! Mwah! That's OK.
That's OK.
Thank you! Mwah! Alright.
Where's the money? Mick's got it.
Do I open this now, or? Yeah, now! Mmm! Yes! Alright.
Hey.
My registrar Sorry to bring it up again.
But just to confirm, you don't know her? Don't think so.
Why? Kim thought there may have been sexual history.
That's ridiculous, isn't it? Oh.
"Oh" what? I don't remember sleeping with anyone named Eloise.
What? Well pretty sure.
But not not certain? Well, not 100%.
Well, there was a time after my marriage ended, like an out-of-control time, that There's an outside possibility.
Oh.
If I knew what she looked like Yeah, OK.
How can you n?! I knew this was gonna be a problem.
But no, because you you might have slept with Eloise! - How can you not know? - Because.
Have you slept with that many women that you don't know their names? I did have a sex life before we met.
So did I.
Very active one.
Yeah, I know.
I'm glad you did.
I've slept with heaps of people.
Good.
A lot.
Yeah, good.
Me, too.
Good.
How many? Finished.
Yep.
OK.
Done.
Seven! I've been with seven people.
Suck on that.
What's your number? Uh-uh.
Show me.
Thirty five! You've been with 35 people?! "Girl from Chili Peppers concert"? Was there not an introduction at some point? There was.
I knew her name "Flight attendant from Sydney.
" I was 19.
She was Well, it was a long time ago.
Where are the recent ones? They're right there.
So, one of these nameless faces could be Eloise? What difference does it make? If you've had sex with my registrar, I would want to know.
Seven's a good number.
I know! Seven is not a good number.
That's pathetic.
You know, Mick worries about only having slept with 15, and that's not great, let's face it, but at least he's in the double digits.
Oh! I thought I was doing well! Nuh.
It's pathetic.
Well, how many have you slept with? Well more than seven.
What? What's with the silence? Mmy number might not be seven.
It might be 6.
5.
Clarify the half.
In medical school, I tried having a threesome.
Yes? I took my top off too early.
And the other two were more interested in each other, so I-I just sat there till I was sure nothing was gonna happen, then I put my top back on and left.
Oh, Neens.
That's a really humiliating story.
You know, sitting topless in a room doesn't count as a half.
The intention was there.
Nuh.
Gives you a grand total of six.
How many years have you been sexually active? Fif teen? like, one every 2.
5 years.
My God! How could someone who likes sex so much have had so little? I mean, do you even know what your sexual tastes are? Oh, goodbye! Hmph! Six? In 15 years.
I was married for two.
Sorry, darling.
You can't have slept with more! You had Billie young, and then you married Darcy.
It was the '70s! Then it was the '80s.
Thank you for not laughing.
On the inside, I am.
But not on the outside.
Because it's not a competition.
So don't feel bad about your score.
It's not a score! That's loser talk.
I agree.
It's not a score.
But if it was, mine would be lower than yours.
Only one way out - distract them with something else.
Billie and Mick paid me back last night.
Oh, yeah? How much? $20,000.
You've got 20 grand lying around and you've only had sex with six people? I'm going now.
Bye, Mum.
Have you ever thought of paying for sex? Six? Is it true? Kim spoke to Zara.
Six? Don't feel too bad.
I've only slept with seven.
Men, though.
Yeah.
Before I caught the gay.
Oh, great.
Even lesbians have slept with more men than I have.
Well, my number's not a whole lot higher.
But I'm in double digits.
Who's got double digits? Oh, do we need to? Nina's only slept with six guys.
I remember having a PRIVATE conversation about this.
Could we Well, including Patrick, there's Chris Havel.
Uh - she didn't sleep with him.
Yeah, keep up.
She DID marry Brendan, so we can assume they shagged at least once.
Oh, for! Were you a virgin when you got married? I don't have to answer that.
Oh, yes, you do.
There was one before Brendan.
Virginity man! Who was that? Yeah, bring it.
No, no! Then Brendan, now Patrick.
Oh, come on, people.
Fraser! Fraser! Don't forget Fraser.
That's four.
I'd like you NOT to be a part of this.
Who else? Mick! Five.
There's one more.
Nina, when you were in Baltimore, you said you had three flings with quite nice men.
Doesn't mean I slept with all of them.
But did you sleep with any? One! And that makes six.
Yes, but what counts as sex? Oral? Manual? Rubbing together with your clothes on? Please leave me alone.
Dr Proudman.
What? They're expecting us in the OR.
Oh! Oh.
Be back to forward! Yeah.
Oh.
Geraldine.
Darcy.
Phillip! Would you mind? Just letting you know that Billie paid Nina a large amount of money yesterday.
Yeah? $20,000 repaying a loan.
Uh, yeah, yeah.
You said you were gonna sell the business, which, by the way, I still think is a half-baked idea.
But if you are selling the business, what about Billie? Is she still gonna have a job? I mean, she's counting on a future that might not exist anymore.
Right, right.
Well, thanks for letting me know.
No, Phillip.
Phillip, no.
Oh, hello.
Hey.
Are they croissants? Bagels.
Great.
Thanks, Dad.
Darling, um Mmm.
I'm I'm getting out of real estate.
Huh? Yes.
You you mean that's something that you're actually contemplating? Well, I I've achieved the things I set out to achieve.
And the fact is, I want to spend time with Ray before he goes to school, you know.
So you're serious? I've been made an offer for the business, yep.
Hang on, you're selling Proudman Real Estate? Yeah, well, I have to.
I mean, the business is sort of like my retirement fund.
So I'm out of a job? Oh, no, I'm sure the new owners would want to keep you on.
Dad! Darling, um .
.
I took you on as an apprentice to well, help you get you back on your feet and look at you! You were supposed to sell sell the Proudman Real Estate to me.
Ha! I'm not kidding, Dad.
If you're gonna sell to a third party, why can't it be me? Well, I know you I can run it, Dad.
You know I can.
That would be a mistake.
See .
.
this business has always run on the warmth that people feel towards me.
You've got a bright future and .
.
running a business, that's several orders of magnitude beyond being an agent.
You don't believe in me.
Don't take it like that.
Dad .
.
do you think I'm capable of running this business? There it is, then.
Darling darling, don't.
Can I help you? Oh, hi, I'm Billie.
Yeah.
I'm Mick's Anyway, I need to talk to him.
Wait.
Hold on, hold on.
Mick, sorry, there's, uh Billie.
Billie.
Ah! It's my wife.
Hey.
Hi, Billie! Hi.
Have you got a minute? Yeah, is everything OK, 'cause we're we're sort of Oh, you're working.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, no, it can wait.
Yeah, you sure? Yeah.
No, I just had a minute, but, no, you're working.
Um, I just just came to say hi.
Oh.
Hi! Hi.
Bye.
See ya! Bye! Bye.
Nina, you're being stupid.
If you've got something to bring up with Eloise, bring it up! Otherwise, let it go, but this silence is You're moving your head as if you're talking to yourself.
Oh.
Oh, I'm a bit tired.
I was up late last night.
And segue With my partner.
Patrick Reid.
He's an anaesthetist.
Do you have a partner? Oh, sparkling subtle conversation, Nina.
No.
Oh.
Hi.
Neens, could I see you? It's important.
I'm just about to go into theatre, Billie.
Oh, right.
Can I call you later? Is everything No, don't worry about it.
OK, bye.
Thanks.
Eloise, I'm sorry to do this.
But my partner, Patrick Reid, when I mentioned him before, I wondered if there was some outside chance that you knew him.
You do, don't you? When I was training, he was an anaesthetist at the same hospital.
Oh.
Shall we? Hello.
My registrar DOES know you.
She remembers you clearly, even if you don't remember her.
Hello?! Alright.
Is that your response? Well, what do you want me to do about it? She knows you! I'm not lying to you.
You worked with her.
Yeah, I have no memory of that.
It doesn't mean that I've slept with her.
If it bothers you, we have a session with Lawrence in an hour.
Can it wait? Yes.
I I've gotta go.
Are you free for lunch right now? I guess.
Why? I need your help, big-time.
What? What's so important? Just a second.
Hi.
Hi.
What's going on? Hi.
Hi.
I need your help.
You're the only two I can trust to give good advice and not to blab to anyone.
It's Martin.
I don't think I can do it.
Oh, no.
You two look so happy.
Yeah.
The snuggly thing, I'm faking it.
He's so full-on all the time! While we're watching TV, on my peripheral vision, I see his head turn.
And there he is .
.
loving me.
He adores me.
With his beady little eyes, it's driving me crazy.
Some people would like that.
That's not all.
No.
He has this habit.
While he's watching TV and he sees an attractive woman, he goes Phwoar! Chrissie Swan.
Phwoar! Margaret Pomeranz.
Phwoar! At least he's got good taste in women.
Which would be fine, except Ray is starting to imitate him.
Phwoar! Phwoar! .
.
the views and perspectives of And the sex? Yeah, that.
It's starting to not be so good anymore.
Oh, Cherie.
I'm gonna need cake.
Now, you've got to swear that lunch is in the vault.
Of course.
Are you coming back to work? Hmm? Uh, no, I've got to go this way.
Why? I've got a thing.
What thing? An appointment.
Hair appointment? Yep.
That's a lie.
Where are you going? No, it's not.
Iit's just an appointment, it's no big deal.
See you later.
Oh, shit, Nina! Are you OK? I'm fine.
Yes, I'm fine.
Sorry! Hey, bicycle clown, what the fuck?! I'm so sorry.
I'm alright.
She's pregnant.
Don't get up yet.
What do you say to that? Uh Huh?! WHAT do you say? I'm not hurt.
Stay down.
You knocked over a pregnant lady.
What's your name? Um It was an accident, Kate.
No, I'm going to make a complaint to your company.
How do you like that? Uh, yes.
What's your name? It's all there.
I'm so sorry.
It's OK, it's fine.
Don't worry about it.
Shh.
Well, Joseph, your boss is going to be getting a call from me.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, just ride away.
Go on.
Really, I'm fine.
I've got to go.
Kate, you're overreacting.
I have an irrational hatred of cyclists.
I see a lot of cycle-related injuries in my work.
But did you notice he was hot? He was in lycra.
If you take the lycra away, he seemed nice.
He was an idiot.
Hello? Hi.
Yeah, I can't talk now.
I've really got to go.
Sorry.
Let me up now.
Really.
Bye! Sorry.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Hello.
Hi.
OK, I'll start.
Nina has become convinced that I've slept with her registrar.
Oh, no.
I'm not convinced.
Have you slept with her registrar? We're not sure yet.
No, but if I have, it was before I met Nina.
Well, she knows him.
He says that he doesn't know her.
He doesn't seem too concerned about whether he slept with her or not, which I find weird.
But what would I know? I've only slept with six people.
Since when? Hmm? Ever.
Oh.
OK.
Now you've gone silent.
I'm trying to work out if that's a judgemental silence or not.
I wasn't judging you.
Well, we had our first appointment with our obstetrician.
And how was that? Good.
Wasn't it? Uh was it? Yeah, it was f fine.
He was talking over the top of you.
Well, that's just his manner.
He's a renowned obstetrician.
I just want you to be sure.
Well, OK, he doesn't have the perfect bedside manner.
But not all doctors do.
Yeah.
You sound like you don't like him.
Nina, I'm not trying to tell you what to do.
Sorry, sorry, I'm finding this whole conversation undermining.
Say why.
Because all day, I I've been teased about how many people I've had sex with, which I've always thought was good, but no, apparently.
Then there's this strange matter of Patrick's history with my registrar.
And now I feel like you're questioning my choice of obstetrician.
I'm not trying to put pressure on you.
Sorry.
Oh, hi, Mick.
I can't really talk right now.
Emergency.
Billie has gone into total meltdown.
She's barricaded herself in the loft.
Family crisis? Yeah.
You don't need my permission.
Go if you're going.
Go on.
Right Now Courier Service - fast as a leopard.
This is Joseph.
Oh, you can't be serious.
Pardon me? "Fast as a leopard"? What's that about? Leopards don't ride bikes in stupid tights.
Who is this? You ran over my pregnant friend.
This is my mobile.
If you want to make a complaint, then ring the office landline.
Well, maybe I wasn't calling to make a complaint.
That didn't occur to you, did it? Look, if you abuse me, I should tell you that I'm recording this call.
You are not.
What with? I've got an app.
Bullshit.
Hey, I will ask you not to swear at me.
Oh, you know what? I was calling to apologise.
Well, so far, that's going great.
Oh, piss off.
I'm not saying anything.
Hi.
Hi.
She's up there - I have no idea what's going on.
But if you call her Oh, yeah.
OK.
Have you got chocolate ice-cream? She wants chocolate ice-cream.
Mick's going to get some.
I'm coming up.
Let me in, OK? Hello.
Here.
You making a fort? I started bringing all our stuff back up because we can't live in the house anymore and then my self-esteem plummeted and there was no-one here to stop me so I decided to live here for the rest of my life, and so I wrapped myself up in a doona.
What happened? Dad's selling the business and he doesn't believe in me.
What? What? No-one feels the warmth for me.
No matter what happens with the business, you can still live in this house.
I'll give you the money back.
No, that's just debt on top of failure.
Neens, work's the thing that I have.
Now instead of being .
.
a mum with a toddler .
.
I'm a success at work.
And I'm not.
Why won't you let Mick in? He won't get it.
He'll say, "Don't worry about it, it's just a job.
" And I love him because that's always been his attitude, but if he says it in this case I will never forgive him.
Oh.
Hello.
Dad! - Dad! - We're out here.
Are you all naked? Can someone tell me what's going on? I came over to speak to Darcy.
About Billie? Yeah.
And Phillip came along.
I admit that was a mistake.
He saw the tub Ooh.
I've always been frightened of spas and hot springs.
You've never had a spa? Germs.
But they look so tempting.
Go for your life.
Go on, in you get.
No.
No! It's safe.
Oh lovely.
We got comfortable .
.
then Darcy came home.
Yes.
I find them making free with my jacuzzi, so .
.
there was only one thing to do.
Make them as uncomfortable as possible.
Did it work? Yes.
No, not at all.
Darcy's territorial display didn't impress anyone.
There's an epic battle of wills going on and I'm not willing to take sides, but .
.
I am in distress bordering on discomfort.
Why? I need to pinkle.
Dad, are you selling the business? Billie is Yes, I know, I know.
I handled it badly, I should have told her sooner, I suppose.
But I honestly believe she's not ready for the responsibility of running Proudman Real Estate.
Let her have a go.
Go? Honey, she could wind up bankrupt or in court.
It's not about having goes.
I know, but she just See, you agree with me.
No, I don't.
I do not, Dad.
I want to shake you.
Well, I'm sorry, darling.
Mum! This was bound to happen.
Of course Billie wants to take over, but there is a big difference between being an employee and being the owner of a company with millions of dollars running through it.
On that cheery note Oh, Mick.
Have you spoken to Billie? You always sell Billie short.
She's given years of her life to you, and, in case you forgot, she looked after the business by herself when you had a heart attack.
I came back from that heart attack to a business falling apart.
Accounting not done, contracts Boo! Pardon? Boo! I say boo to you.
I say boo to you too, Dad.
Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo.
Phillip, did you say you needed to pinkle? Are you ready? Yeah.
Come in.
This is Joseph.
Are you stalking me? I came to see a physio, I didn't know it was gonna be you.
That's what a stalker would say.
What is your problem? It's not leopards that are fast, it's cheetahs.
It's a quote from a film.
Why are you here? I hurt my back.
On your stupid bike? Lifting a table.
What kind of table? Pool table.
Is that supposed to impress me? Can I get treatment or not? Lie down.
Oh.
Thanks.
Where have you been? Your dad's.
Doing what? Booing.
Hold there a sec.
Billie, I believe in you You can do anything you put your mind to If you wanna start your own business I'm sure you could do that standing on your head And nothing would even have to change You've already got the perfect last name and you're capable Organised, and just the right amount of scary And pretty soon the world will worship you like a demigod Sacrificing virgins in your name I know it's true I made a Tumblr for you Don't be freaked out, just try to think of it As on online shrine Oh, whoa, oh Oh, whoa, oh Billie Proudman, I believe in you.
Yeah.
Did you really boo Dad? Yeah.
Hi.
Hi.
There's something I'd like to say.
Me first.
No, me, please.
I wasn't trying to undermine you earlier.
So if you wanna choose Dr Bandari then I support you in that choice.
Thanks.
But in the matter of this pregnancy, your opinion matters.
It's required.
OK? OK.
Well, then, I think we should choose an obstetrician that doesn't make you feel like you're talking too much.
And I I don't believe I've slept with your registrar.
But if it turns out that I did .
.
what difference does it make? I don't know.
And there's a simple way to find out if I did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dad.
I heard you got booed by my husband.
Yes, I did.
Listen, sweetheart Dad, it's your business, not mine, and you can sell to whoever you want.
However, I am a good real estate agent.
That's a full transcript of my academic record.
I did my traineeship at Proudman Real Estate under Darcy Proudman.
I may not fully understand some aspects of business ownership, but I'm learning the accounting software.
Billie I'm also very familiar with the existing client base and with the local area, and I believe I am the right person to take over Proudman Real Estate.
You don't know what you're getting into.
It's a whole new world of stress, responsibility I'm ready to try.
Well, if you can raise the capital .
.
I'll sell Proudman Real Estate to you.
Good.
Good.
It's time to clear the air, once and for all.
Eloise, this is an extremely uncomfortable subject to raise.
I think you might have a history with my partner.
And .
.
I'm only bringing it up to clear the air, so it's not weird anymore.
Whatever the history is between you and Patrick .
.
I'm fine with it.
I think you might have slept together.
And if you did, you don't have to say anything.
I didn't sleep with him.
Oh, it's OK if you did.
I didn't.
There was never a question of that.
My first night when I was an intern, there was an emergency.
They sent me to find Dr Reid - Patrick.
And I found him in the supply room, off his face on propofol.
And I didn't know what to do and I was upset and I reported him.
It was me.
I shouldn't have told you, should I? Please please don't say anything to Patrick.