Pinky and the Brain (1995) s04e02 Episode Script
Brainwashed (2): I Am Not A Hat
Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight? The same thing we do every night, Pinky, try to take over the world.
They're Pinky and the Brain yes, Pinky and the Brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're Pinky and the Brain Brain, Brain, Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're Pinky and the Brain yes, Pinky and the Brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousey worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're Pinky and the Brain Brain, Brain, Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain narf! warner bros.
Man: previously on Pinky and the Brain yeah, Schmeerskahoven Brain's been brainwashed! [Shrieking.]
No! Porkpie--I mean, Brain, what are you doing?! It's me, Pinky! I'm not really a hat, see? [Shrieking.]
[Shrieks.]
[Stops.]
Brain, I'm your only friend.
Don't you remember? [Shrieking.]
Oh, narf! Narf? Why, that sounds vaguely familiar and aggravating.
It--it does? Yes.
In fact, it gives me the sudden urge to do this.
Ugh! Ooh, that feels good.
[High-pitched voice.]
You do remember! It's all coming back to me.
I remember narf, and I remember, um, narf.
And then there's narf.
Anything else? Yes, I can see it.
It's--it's narf.
But what does it mean, fez? Um, it means poit! Or is it troz? Uh, does that help? No.
But this does.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, just like old times, except for the hats.
Porkpie, fez, no one runs off during the evening Schmeerskahoven.
You hats have got some 'splainin' to do.
Off to the powdered-wig hat.
[Indistinct yelling.]
[Gavel thumping.]
Man: order! Order! Order in the hat! You stand accused of subverting the authority of the top hat.
How do you plead? Top hat? Who's the top hat? Hats may not question! I told you.
I am not a hat! I am not a hat! [Murmuring.]
Think you're better than the rest of us, eh? What do you think you are?! A pair of gloves? A shoe? Gesundheit! No! I am not a shoe! I am not a hat! I am a free not a hat.
In fact, you're all free.
Throw down your hats, all of you! Unh.
[Gasps.]
You, too, fez.
Throw down your fez! Whaah! [Gasps.]
No hat may throw down his hat or himself without express permission of the top hat.
Guards, arrest these hats and take them to be reblocked! Listen, do you hear that? Ding, ding, ding, ding.
It's time for the midnight Schmeerskahoven.
Ha ha! Do you think we just fell off the turnip hat? It's far too early for the midnight Schmeerskahoven.
It is? Yes.
That's the bell for the 10:30 Schmeerskahoven.
Come on, everybody! [Music begins.]
Put your fingers in your ears and stick 'em in your belly don't be afraid if it jiggles like jelly yeah, Schmeerskahoven! Egad! That was brilliant, porkpie! Thank you, fez.
Just one question.
How did you know the bell was going to go off? Fez, I feel another memory coming on.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Now, come.
We are doffing this hatland or maybe not.
Do you think it's locked? Fez, were you always this brilliant? Oh, yes! [Metallic clanging.]
A giant ball of yarn?! Oh, goody! We can knit some giant socks or maybe not.
Female: you're very naughty little hats.
Prepare to be reblocked.
Show yourself, top hat! I want to give you a piece of my mind! The top hat already has a piece of your mind.
In fact, I have all of it.
The top hat is a computer? More than a computer.
I know everything, including everything you once were.
Your entire past is stored on my hard drive.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I--I don't remember any of that.
Of course not.
I removed every last memory from fat little cranium.
Every memory but one, something no one could possibly know.
There is nothing the top hat doesn't know.
Yes, there is.
No, there isn't.
Is so.
Is not.
[Yawns.]
Ok.
You're right.
There isn't.
What is it? Narf.
What was that? Narf.
N-A-r-F.
Narf.
Narf? That is not a word.
Oh, yes, it is.
I say it all the time.
It means the same thing as zort and poit, except it's different.
The definition of narf is zort.
Or is it poit? Narf is like poit, except so is zort.
Does not compute! Does not compute! Admit it, you don't know what narf is.
Of course I know.
I am the top hat.
I know everything.
Narf is--narf is-- narf! Narf! Narf! Narf! Aah! Aah! Porkpie! Porkpie, are you Ok? Pinky, if you ever use that name again, I shall be forced to hurt you with extreme prejudice.
Oh, Brain, it's you! You got your memory back! Yes! [Schmeerskahoven music begins.]
Yaah! [All yelling.]
Brain, what are you doing? We've got to go! Not yet, Pinky! I've got to find out who's behind this! Oh, can't you get that later, Brain? The top hat's going to blow its lid! Waah! Aah! Yes! We have to get back to the lab and analyze this disk.
You can still call me fez if you want.
Absolutely not.
But I miss it so! Poit.
Oh, very well.
Let's hurry and get back to the lab, fez.
Ha ha ha ha! Fez! [Maniacal cackling.]
Pinky, do you know why we were imprisoned in the land of hats? Because of the gross overcrowding in the land of underpants? No, Pinky.
Because of my stalwart refusal to give in to global peer pressure and do the schmerskahoven.
It's all here on this disk that I took from the top hat.
[Rapid beeping.]
But, Brain, the Schmeerskahoven is such a happy dance.
I'm afraid not, Pinky.
The precise movements of the Schmeerskahoven correspond to pressure points on the human body which affect neuron synapses in the Brain.
Repeated pressure on these points causes the cerebrum to shrivel and slowly diminishes the dancer's mental capacity until they become permanent dimwits.
Oh, but I've done the Schmeerskahoven lots of times, and I haven't noticed any change.
Pinky, sometimes you make it too easy for me.
Thank you.
The dumbing down of America is no mere coincidence, Pinky.
Someone is using the Schmeerskahoven as the means to a nefarious end.
Egad! Does this mean Swedish supergroup baab is evil? No, Pinky.
The Schmeerskahoven was obviously written by someone other than baab's brilliant songwriting team of angstrom and bjorst.
How do you know? The song contains neither the soaring melodies nor the uplifting arrangements of such baab classics as dancing king and ferdanando.
And it, uh, says in the liner notes that someone else wrote it, a certain psuedo nym.
Good name.
Yes.
And obviously an alias.
At little 21st-century cybersleuthing, and soon we shall know the true identity of the culprit.
There, Pinky.
The name of our criminal mastermind is Pinky: "information classified"? "Lab destruct sequence activated"? Another good name! Troz! Pinky, that's not someone's name.
Really?! Then can I use it? Someone has booby-Trapped the computer! We've got to get out of here! Pinky, what are you doing?! Packing.
There's no time! Look, Brain, I need the dryer lint.
It's my friend.
Do you want to meet my friend?! No! Not the lab! Pinky! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Whoo! Ooh, that was quite a bomb, Brain.
I know, Pinky.
Our beautiful lab, all of my research gone! Now, aren't you glad I packed some lint? What kind of person would blow up our lab? That clown from Washington, D.
C.
? Newt Gingrich? No, Brain, look.
[Laughing maniacally.]
[Siren.]
[Siren continues.]
I hate clowns! Hey, like, uh, stop cold or somethin', you tiny, little terrorist guys.
You're under arrest for, uh, making that building go boom.
But we didn't do it.
Zort! It was the clown with the flowerpot hat.
Hey, don't you say mean things about clowns! Put your hands in the air! Like you won a big prize? Bop yourself on the head and cross your eyes Both: yeah, Schmeerskahoven just as I suspected, Pinky.
These policemen are addicted to the Schmeerskahoven.
Do you know what this means? They won't get the dreaded policeman's doughnut gut? No, Pinky.
It means they, too, have been infected by this heinous plot to dumb down the world.
There's no time to waste.
We must go straight to the top! The Brain: not so fast, Pinky, or we'll-- [Both scream.]
Uhh! This is the Lincoln bedroom, Pinky.
Where all the president's closest friends sleep.
Poit! Ooh, he must not have many friends.
[Lock turning.]
Someone's coming! Hello? Who's in there? We're big party donors from Hollywood.
I'm, uh, famous director, uh, Steven speilbrain, and this is, um-- his lovely wife Kate pinkshaw! Y'all look a lot bigger on Tv.
Well, actually, Mr.
President, we are a pair of escaped lab mice trying to stop a hideous plot to dumb down America.
With clowns and hats and the Schmeerskahoven.
Ha ha.
You Hollywood folks sure have some wild imaginations.
It's imperative that I speak with you.
Bill, are you coming? They're just about to start the Pauly shore film festival.
[Imitating Pauly shore.]
Gnarl-A-roony.
[Laughing.]
You think Pauly shore is funny? Doesn't everyone? Both: bu-uddy! Ha ha ha! Catch you later.
Hey, and don't forget-- Saturday morning's the big global Schmeerskahoven-Athon for world peace.
Schmeerskahoven-athon? Pinky, do you know what this means? Another preemption for brand spanking, fresh and shiny new duck? Even the president and first lady have been dumbed down.
Unless we can find someone around here who's willing to help us, the whole world is doomed! [Splash.]
Aah! Aah! Dang-Edy! This pot's a-broke! The coff-Edy just a-keeps a-Pourin' out the bottom! Perhaps you should try using a coffeepot.
I tries and I tries to help the president, but I just can't gets it right.
Now I'll never get to be chief o' staff! Shoot-Edy! [Crash.]
Ohh! Oops-Edy.
My friend, I know a way you can become a genuine hero in the eyes of the president and the world.
And it doesn't involve carrying hot beverages and walking at the same time.
Good.
That's hard.
Don't I know it.
And they locked us all in this horrible place and forced us to wear hats all day long.
Yes! It was lovely.
It was abhorrent.
Humanity is in great danger, bobby bob.
When you see the land of hats, you must warn the world so we can put a stop to this.
Prepare to be stunned.
Pinky: narf-Edy! [Gasps.]
Where did it go? Butthe hat houses were right there.
And this is the courtyard where they made us dance the Schmeerskahoven.
Ooh, I done hates that dang-Edy dance.
Really? I'd have pegged you for a regular schmeerska-Holic.
Nope.
I'm's the only feller in this here world whats can'ts doos that dance, and every time i's a Be's a tryin', i'm's a-gettin' a coff-Edy all over my clotheses.
Um, have you ever tried doing a dance without holding the coff-Edy? [Laughs.]
You is a smart aah, ooh! Little feller! Ooh! Unh! Uhh! Now i's can goes practice for the big schmeerskedyhoo-- The schmoozkedyheer-- aw, you know.
For Saturday-- when everybody in the whole wide world's a-gonna do that there dance.
You're welcome-dedy! Ha ha ha! Bye-diddy-do-Da Dee-day-diddy-Da do-Dee-hoo! It's all up to us now.
We only have one day to save the world from the Schmeerskahoven.
But who could possibly have conceived such a brilliant, dastardly plot? Besides me? Bo diddley-doodley? Ha ha ha! No, Pinky.
There is only one other who is capable of such a feat.
You haven't heard the last of me, Brain.
I'll take over the world first! [Laughs.]
Snowball.
The Brain: pardon me, but I'm here to see Mr.
Snowball.
Who? Mr.
Snowball.
He owns this corporation.
Oh.
Like, him! Uh, well, like, he's, like, somewhere else.
And where would that be? Oh.
I can't, like, tell you.
It's, like, a secret and stuff.
It's very important that I speak to him.
Oh.
I'm sorry, sir.
You'll have to leave.
I'm, like, the temporary receptionist.
I'm, like, just paid to temporarily recept.
I have a package for Mr.
Snowball.
Oh.
You'll have to deliver that to microsponge center for psychiatric research.
It's at the university.
What a simpleton.
Come on, Pinky.
That's all we need to know.
Do you think she's being dumbed down by the Schmeerskahoven? I don't know, Pinky.
It's hard to tell with temps.
The Brain: just as I suspected, Pinky.
Snowball has used his incredible wealth to fund this psychiatric research facility.
So he can meet rip Taylor? No, Pinky.
Snowball obviously developed the Schmeerskahoven to dumb down the public.
He has perverted the purpose of this fine institution of higher learning.
Young man: yo, dudes! [Vroom.]
Unh! Oh! Let's cut class and get crazy at the food fight! All right! The bomb! Yeah! Do you think those kids have been dumbed down by the Schmeerskahoven? I don't know, Pinky.
It's hard to tell with college students.
All: b-b-b-b-B the patients are running loose, Pinky.
Where are the doctors? We are the doctors, bu-Uddy.
[All laughing.]
Snowball has to be stopped! You're looking for snowball? He's right through here.
Ha ha ha! [Squeaks.]
[Clanks.]
[Clanks.]
Snowball certainly picked a strange place for an executive suite.
Oh, I don't know, Brain.
It may be dark, but at least it's dank and musty.
Hello, Brain, Pinky.
Snowball! You're a patient? Hmm.
I'm glad to see somebody's finally locked you up.
Yes, Brain.
I'm a prisoner in my own institution.
I so love irony-- except when it befalls me.
Do you know, the irony befell on me once.
I was flat for a week! Heh! [Smack.]
Uhh! [Giggles.]
Now we can put a stop to that evil dance of yours.
Which I rather enjoy-- But which Brain says is bad.
You mean, the Schmeerskahoven? You think I'm the one behind that annoying dance? Ha ha ha! Oh, wrong again, Brain.
But I should have expected as much from a dippy dim bulb like you.
Dippy dim bulb? Ha ha! I want to be dippy dim bulb! [Gasps.]
You can be figgy fathead, Brain.
I see he's been doing the Schmeerskahoven ad nauseam.
I don't know, snowball.
It's hard to tell with Pinky.
But if you didn't create the Schmeerskahoven, who did? That's what I was trying to find out.
In fact, I built this institute just so I could research the Schmeerskahoven.
Ah, but, when I got too close to the truth, I was locked in here.
By whom? Why should I tell you? So I can stop them from taking over the world! Yes, and grab all the glory for yourself.
Ha! Nothing doing.
Unless, of course, you get me out.
Egad! How will we do that? You forget, Pinky, snowball is being held captive by stupid people.
I will simply outwit them with my superior intellect.
Guards! [Clank.]
Look! Snowball has escaped! It looks like he's still in his cell.
Oh, no.
He's on the outside, and we're in the cell! So, get out your keys and unlock that door.
Ok, bu-uddy! And would you please stop saying, "bu-uddy?! Hasn't anyone told you that Pauly shore isn't funny?! Snowball: oh, yes, Brain.
You handled them brilliantly.
I hate you.
Tv anchorman: the countdown is on as every man, woman, and child on the planet prepares for tomorrow's gigantic, global, really humongous Schmeerskahoven-athon for world peace.
And remember, don't be afraid if it jiggles like jelly.
Heh heh heh! [Click.]
The world is in peril, and we only have one hope of getting out of here.
I'll get you out, Brain! Here I come! [Thud.]
Aah! [Grunts.]
Here I come again! [Thud.]
Unh! We're doomed.
Here I come once more! [Thud.]
Uhh! I'll save you this time! [Thud.]
Aah! I'll try again! [Thud.]
Unh! They're dinky they're Pinky and the Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain hang on! [Thud.]
Uhh! [Men growl.]
Wild beasts! Man: here are some scenes from part 3 of "brainwashed.
" We're going to shrink ourselves down to microscopic size and control their vocal chords! Whoa! Whoa! Snowball: a gene splicer.
[Gasps.]
No! [Gasps.]
Mayday! Mayday! The Brain: we have to get out of here! Both: who's flying the plane?! [Zoom.]
All: aah! warner bros.
Captioned by the national
They're Pinky and the Brain yes, Pinky and the Brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're Pinky and the Brain Brain, Brain, Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're Pinky and the Brain yes, Pinky and the Brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousey worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're Pinky and the Brain Brain, Brain, Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain narf! warner bros.
Man: previously on Pinky and the Brain yeah, Schmeerskahoven Brain's been brainwashed! [Shrieking.]
No! Porkpie--I mean, Brain, what are you doing?! It's me, Pinky! I'm not really a hat, see? [Shrieking.]
[Shrieks.]
[Stops.]
Brain, I'm your only friend.
Don't you remember? [Shrieking.]
Oh, narf! Narf? Why, that sounds vaguely familiar and aggravating.
It--it does? Yes.
In fact, it gives me the sudden urge to do this.
Ugh! Ooh, that feels good.
[High-pitched voice.]
You do remember! It's all coming back to me.
I remember narf, and I remember, um, narf.
And then there's narf.
Anything else? Yes, I can see it.
It's--it's narf.
But what does it mean, fez? Um, it means poit! Or is it troz? Uh, does that help? No.
But this does.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, just like old times, except for the hats.
Porkpie, fez, no one runs off during the evening Schmeerskahoven.
You hats have got some 'splainin' to do.
Off to the powdered-wig hat.
[Indistinct yelling.]
[Gavel thumping.]
Man: order! Order! Order in the hat! You stand accused of subverting the authority of the top hat.
How do you plead? Top hat? Who's the top hat? Hats may not question! I told you.
I am not a hat! I am not a hat! [Murmuring.]
Think you're better than the rest of us, eh? What do you think you are?! A pair of gloves? A shoe? Gesundheit! No! I am not a shoe! I am not a hat! I am a free not a hat.
In fact, you're all free.
Throw down your hats, all of you! Unh.
[Gasps.]
You, too, fez.
Throw down your fez! Whaah! [Gasps.]
No hat may throw down his hat or himself without express permission of the top hat.
Guards, arrest these hats and take them to be reblocked! Listen, do you hear that? Ding, ding, ding, ding.
It's time for the midnight Schmeerskahoven.
Ha ha! Do you think we just fell off the turnip hat? It's far too early for the midnight Schmeerskahoven.
It is? Yes.
That's the bell for the 10:30 Schmeerskahoven.
Come on, everybody! [Music begins.]
Put your fingers in your ears and stick 'em in your belly don't be afraid if it jiggles like jelly yeah, Schmeerskahoven! Egad! That was brilliant, porkpie! Thank you, fez.
Just one question.
How did you know the bell was going to go off? Fez, I feel another memory coming on.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Now, come.
We are doffing this hatland or maybe not.
Do you think it's locked? Fez, were you always this brilliant? Oh, yes! [Metallic clanging.]
A giant ball of yarn?! Oh, goody! We can knit some giant socks or maybe not.
Female: you're very naughty little hats.
Prepare to be reblocked.
Show yourself, top hat! I want to give you a piece of my mind! The top hat already has a piece of your mind.
In fact, I have all of it.
The top hat is a computer? More than a computer.
I know everything, including everything you once were.
Your entire past is stored on my hard drive.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I--I don't remember any of that.
Of course not.
I removed every last memory from fat little cranium.
Every memory but one, something no one could possibly know.
There is nothing the top hat doesn't know.
Yes, there is.
No, there isn't.
Is so.
Is not.
[Yawns.]
Ok.
You're right.
There isn't.
What is it? Narf.
What was that? Narf.
N-A-r-F.
Narf.
Narf? That is not a word.
Oh, yes, it is.
I say it all the time.
It means the same thing as zort and poit, except it's different.
The definition of narf is zort.
Or is it poit? Narf is like poit, except so is zort.
Does not compute! Does not compute! Admit it, you don't know what narf is.
Of course I know.
I am the top hat.
I know everything.
Narf is--narf is-- narf! Narf! Narf! Narf! Aah! Aah! Porkpie! Porkpie, are you Ok? Pinky, if you ever use that name again, I shall be forced to hurt you with extreme prejudice.
Oh, Brain, it's you! You got your memory back! Yes! [Schmeerskahoven music begins.]
Yaah! [All yelling.]
Brain, what are you doing? We've got to go! Not yet, Pinky! I've got to find out who's behind this! Oh, can't you get that later, Brain? The top hat's going to blow its lid! Waah! Aah! Yes! We have to get back to the lab and analyze this disk.
You can still call me fez if you want.
Absolutely not.
But I miss it so! Poit.
Oh, very well.
Let's hurry and get back to the lab, fez.
Ha ha ha ha! Fez! [Maniacal cackling.]
Pinky, do you know why we were imprisoned in the land of hats? Because of the gross overcrowding in the land of underpants? No, Pinky.
Because of my stalwart refusal to give in to global peer pressure and do the schmerskahoven.
It's all here on this disk that I took from the top hat.
[Rapid beeping.]
But, Brain, the Schmeerskahoven is such a happy dance.
I'm afraid not, Pinky.
The precise movements of the Schmeerskahoven correspond to pressure points on the human body which affect neuron synapses in the Brain.
Repeated pressure on these points causes the cerebrum to shrivel and slowly diminishes the dancer's mental capacity until they become permanent dimwits.
Oh, but I've done the Schmeerskahoven lots of times, and I haven't noticed any change.
Pinky, sometimes you make it too easy for me.
Thank you.
The dumbing down of America is no mere coincidence, Pinky.
Someone is using the Schmeerskahoven as the means to a nefarious end.
Egad! Does this mean Swedish supergroup baab is evil? No, Pinky.
The Schmeerskahoven was obviously written by someone other than baab's brilliant songwriting team of angstrom and bjorst.
How do you know? The song contains neither the soaring melodies nor the uplifting arrangements of such baab classics as dancing king and ferdanando.
And it, uh, says in the liner notes that someone else wrote it, a certain psuedo nym.
Good name.
Yes.
And obviously an alias.
At little 21st-century cybersleuthing, and soon we shall know the true identity of the culprit.
There, Pinky.
The name of our criminal mastermind is Pinky: "information classified"? "Lab destruct sequence activated"? Another good name! Troz! Pinky, that's not someone's name.
Really?! Then can I use it? Someone has booby-Trapped the computer! We've got to get out of here! Pinky, what are you doing?! Packing.
There's no time! Look, Brain, I need the dryer lint.
It's my friend.
Do you want to meet my friend?! No! Not the lab! Pinky! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Whoo! Ooh, that was quite a bomb, Brain.
I know, Pinky.
Our beautiful lab, all of my research gone! Now, aren't you glad I packed some lint? What kind of person would blow up our lab? That clown from Washington, D.
C.
? Newt Gingrich? No, Brain, look.
[Laughing maniacally.]
[Siren.]
[Siren continues.]
I hate clowns! Hey, like, uh, stop cold or somethin', you tiny, little terrorist guys.
You're under arrest for, uh, making that building go boom.
But we didn't do it.
Zort! It was the clown with the flowerpot hat.
Hey, don't you say mean things about clowns! Put your hands in the air! Like you won a big prize? Bop yourself on the head and cross your eyes Both: yeah, Schmeerskahoven just as I suspected, Pinky.
These policemen are addicted to the Schmeerskahoven.
Do you know what this means? They won't get the dreaded policeman's doughnut gut? No, Pinky.
It means they, too, have been infected by this heinous plot to dumb down the world.
There's no time to waste.
We must go straight to the top! The Brain: not so fast, Pinky, or we'll-- [Both scream.]
Uhh! This is the Lincoln bedroom, Pinky.
Where all the president's closest friends sleep.
Poit! Ooh, he must not have many friends.
[Lock turning.]
Someone's coming! Hello? Who's in there? We're big party donors from Hollywood.
I'm, uh, famous director, uh, Steven speilbrain, and this is, um-- his lovely wife Kate pinkshaw! Y'all look a lot bigger on Tv.
Well, actually, Mr.
President, we are a pair of escaped lab mice trying to stop a hideous plot to dumb down America.
With clowns and hats and the Schmeerskahoven.
Ha ha.
You Hollywood folks sure have some wild imaginations.
It's imperative that I speak with you.
Bill, are you coming? They're just about to start the Pauly shore film festival.
[Imitating Pauly shore.]
Gnarl-A-roony.
[Laughing.]
You think Pauly shore is funny? Doesn't everyone? Both: bu-uddy! Ha ha ha! Catch you later.
Hey, and don't forget-- Saturday morning's the big global Schmeerskahoven-Athon for world peace.
Schmeerskahoven-athon? Pinky, do you know what this means? Another preemption for brand spanking, fresh and shiny new duck? Even the president and first lady have been dumbed down.
Unless we can find someone around here who's willing to help us, the whole world is doomed! [Splash.]
Aah! Aah! Dang-Edy! This pot's a-broke! The coff-Edy just a-keeps a-Pourin' out the bottom! Perhaps you should try using a coffeepot.
I tries and I tries to help the president, but I just can't gets it right.
Now I'll never get to be chief o' staff! Shoot-Edy! [Crash.]
Ohh! Oops-Edy.
My friend, I know a way you can become a genuine hero in the eyes of the president and the world.
And it doesn't involve carrying hot beverages and walking at the same time.
Good.
That's hard.
Don't I know it.
And they locked us all in this horrible place and forced us to wear hats all day long.
Yes! It was lovely.
It was abhorrent.
Humanity is in great danger, bobby bob.
When you see the land of hats, you must warn the world so we can put a stop to this.
Prepare to be stunned.
Pinky: narf-Edy! [Gasps.]
Where did it go? Butthe hat houses were right there.
And this is the courtyard where they made us dance the Schmeerskahoven.
Ooh, I done hates that dang-Edy dance.
Really? I'd have pegged you for a regular schmeerska-Holic.
Nope.
I'm's the only feller in this here world whats can'ts doos that dance, and every time i's a Be's a tryin', i'm's a-gettin' a coff-Edy all over my clotheses.
Um, have you ever tried doing a dance without holding the coff-Edy? [Laughs.]
You is a smart aah, ooh! Little feller! Ooh! Unh! Uhh! Now i's can goes practice for the big schmeerskedyhoo-- The schmoozkedyheer-- aw, you know.
For Saturday-- when everybody in the whole wide world's a-gonna do that there dance.
You're welcome-dedy! Ha ha ha! Bye-diddy-do-Da Dee-day-diddy-Da do-Dee-hoo! It's all up to us now.
We only have one day to save the world from the Schmeerskahoven.
But who could possibly have conceived such a brilliant, dastardly plot? Besides me? Bo diddley-doodley? Ha ha ha! No, Pinky.
There is only one other who is capable of such a feat.
You haven't heard the last of me, Brain.
I'll take over the world first! [Laughs.]
Snowball.
The Brain: pardon me, but I'm here to see Mr.
Snowball.
Who? Mr.
Snowball.
He owns this corporation.
Oh.
Like, him! Uh, well, like, he's, like, somewhere else.
And where would that be? Oh.
I can't, like, tell you.
It's, like, a secret and stuff.
It's very important that I speak to him.
Oh.
I'm sorry, sir.
You'll have to leave.
I'm, like, the temporary receptionist.
I'm, like, just paid to temporarily recept.
I have a package for Mr.
Snowball.
Oh.
You'll have to deliver that to microsponge center for psychiatric research.
It's at the university.
What a simpleton.
Come on, Pinky.
That's all we need to know.
Do you think she's being dumbed down by the Schmeerskahoven? I don't know, Pinky.
It's hard to tell with temps.
The Brain: just as I suspected, Pinky.
Snowball has used his incredible wealth to fund this psychiatric research facility.
So he can meet rip Taylor? No, Pinky.
Snowball obviously developed the Schmeerskahoven to dumb down the public.
He has perverted the purpose of this fine institution of higher learning.
Young man: yo, dudes! [Vroom.]
Unh! Oh! Let's cut class and get crazy at the food fight! All right! The bomb! Yeah! Do you think those kids have been dumbed down by the Schmeerskahoven? I don't know, Pinky.
It's hard to tell with college students.
All: b-b-b-b-B the patients are running loose, Pinky.
Where are the doctors? We are the doctors, bu-Uddy.
[All laughing.]
Snowball has to be stopped! You're looking for snowball? He's right through here.
Ha ha ha! [Squeaks.]
[Clanks.]
[Clanks.]
Snowball certainly picked a strange place for an executive suite.
Oh, I don't know, Brain.
It may be dark, but at least it's dank and musty.
Hello, Brain, Pinky.
Snowball! You're a patient? Hmm.
I'm glad to see somebody's finally locked you up.
Yes, Brain.
I'm a prisoner in my own institution.
I so love irony-- except when it befalls me.
Do you know, the irony befell on me once.
I was flat for a week! Heh! [Smack.]
Uhh! [Giggles.]
Now we can put a stop to that evil dance of yours.
Which I rather enjoy-- But which Brain says is bad.
You mean, the Schmeerskahoven? You think I'm the one behind that annoying dance? Ha ha ha! Oh, wrong again, Brain.
But I should have expected as much from a dippy dim bulb like you.
Dippy dim bulb? Ha ha! I want to be dippy dim bulb! [Gasps.]
You can be figgy fathead, Brain.
I see he's been doing the Schmeerskahoven ad nauseam.
I don't know, snowball.
It's hard to tell with Pinky.
But if you didn't create the Schmeerskahoven, who did? That's what I was trying to find out.
In fact, I built this institute just so I could research the Schmeerskahoven.
Ah, but, when I got too close to the truth, I was locked in here.
By whom? Why should I tell you? So I can stop them from taking over the world! Yes, and grab all the glory for yourself.
Ha! Nothing doing.
Unless, of course, you get me out.
Egad! How will we do that? You forget, Pinky, snowball is being held captive by stupid people.
I will simply outwit them with my superior intellect.
Guards! [Clank.]
Look! Snowball has escaped! It looks like he's still in his cell.
Oh, no.
He's on the outside, and we're in the cell! So, get out your keys and unlock that door.
Ok, bu-uddy! And would you please stop saying, "bu-uddy?! Hasn't anyone told you that Pauly shore isn't funny?! Snowball: oh, yes, Brain.
You handled them brilliantly.
I hate you.
Tv anchorman: the countdown is on as every man, woman, and child on the planet prepares for tomorrow's gigantic, global, really humongous Schmeerskahoven-athon for world peace.
And remember, don't be afraid if it jiggles like jelly.
Heh heh heh! [Click.]
The world is in peril, and we only have one hope of getting out of here.
I'll get you out, Brain! Here I come! [Thud.]
Aah! [Grunts.]
Here I come again! [Thud.]
Unh! We're doomed.
Here I come once more! [Thud.]
Uhh! I'll save you this time! [Thud.]
Aah! I'll try again! [Thud.]
Unh! They're dinky they're Pinky and the Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain hang on! [Thud.]
Uhh! [Men growl.]
Wild beasts! Man: here are some scenes from part 3 of "brainwashed.
" We're going to shrink ourselves down to microscopic size and control their vocal chords! Whoa! Whoa! Snowball: a gene splicer.
[Gasps.]
No! [Gasps.]
Mayday! Mayday! The Brain: we have to get out of here! Both: who's flying the plane?! [Zoom.]
All: aah! warner bros.
Captioned by the national