Sabrina The Teenage Witch s04e02 Episode Script

[CHIMING & HOOTING.]
Thirteen o'clock? I'm late.
Aunt Zelda? Aunt Zelda.
Oh.
Sorry.
Why the Pod of Privacy? Because that stupid clock of Hilda's is driving me-- [CLOCK CHIMES & HOOTS.]
Exactly.
Hilda is pretending that piece of junk doesn't bother her, but this is one girl who can out-pretend her.
Oh, so you two have finally outgrown staring contests.
[CLOCK CHIMING & HOOTING.]
I knew that noise would get to you.
Blow it up, baby.
Bad audition? My life needs a new direction.
I'm only 620 years old.
I need something more stimulating.
Well, if you've grown tired of the violin, a career change is a good idea.
Let me offer you a suggestion.
[CLOCK CHIMING & HOOTING.]
Fix that infernal clock.
Zelda, face it.
You are the only one that it bothers.
[CHIMING & HOOTING BECOMES DISTORTED.]
Salem, did you break my brand-new, handmade-in-Indonesia Swiss cuckoo clock? Cuckoo.
Pff.
Oh, another protest? Good grief, you stage one little rally against mildew in the locker room, and suddenly you're Che Guevara.
"Westbridge through the years.
" Well, clearly, very little has happened in Westbridge through the years.
It's not finished yet.
I wanna be editor of the yearbook and this is my audition page.
A little maternal oohing and aahing might be appropriate now.
Sabrina, it might not be a good idea to take on too many extra activities this year.
Don't worry, Aunt Zelda.
I've taken on a new can-do attitude for my senior year.
Well, that's good, because this arrived from the Witches' Council this morning.
I've been chosen to mentor a witch student this year? Yes, you have to guide and teach so they can get their witch's licence.
- I have to be somebody's quizmaster? - No, mentor.
- What's the difference? - Quizmasters get paid.
Fine.
I can help mould and shape someone's young mind and make them get me coffee.
- I like it.
- I'm off to the clock shop.
God, she really loves that clock, huh? I know.
Sad.
What are you protesting? Not another protest, Miss Spellman.
If we were in China, I could run you over with a tank.
This isn't a protest.
It's my audition page for yearbook editor.
See, "Westbridge through the years.
" I'm gonna put pictures of past yearbooks here.
The theme of the yearbook is the same every year.
It is a bound chronicle of the misery that I've been put through during the previous nine months.
Okay, now I'm protesting.
Mr.
Garcia, get the water hose.
Mr.
Kraft, I know this may strike you as a walk on the wild side, but how about giving me a little support? Well, since I'm the head of the faculty committee that selects the yearbook editor, you'll need it.
Okay, somewhere along the way, this conversation went terribly wrong.
I live for days like this.
- Oh! - Oh.
Excuse me.
Did you write me the letter of recommendation for yearbook editor? Okay, here's the question.
New NFL franchise, who do you pick? - Barry Sanders.
- You're brain-dead.
Hello? Letter of recommendation? I'm sorry, Sabrina.
Last night kind of got away from me.
We're starting a new fantasy football league.
And I can't tell you how excited I am.
I need the letter.
- I'll get right on it.
- Thanks.
With that and Mr.
Kraft's sudden death due to smallpox, I might make editor.
No! Sorry.
You should be more careful.
I'm Dreama.
[BELL RINGS.]
And I'm late.
Good luck with whatever you're protesting.
Power to the people.
You know, I love the violin.
But you can only play so much Mozart until you start to be glad he died young.
Travel clock, on the house.
So now I wanna do something bolder, more imaginative, more challenging.
- Wanna buy this place? - Really? Sure.
Wow, I never really imagined myself as a merchant.
Could I interest you in an alarm clock? By golly, I'll do it.
Hey, where are you going? I'm gonna buy a bar.
Talk about impulsive.
Hey, did you write that letter of recommendation at lunch? I ate lunch at lunch.
To tell you the truth, the thought of writing it is giving me a knot in my stomach.
That's just the fish cakes.
Don't worry, it's just a little letter.
Nothing to feel pressured about.
I need it by tomorrow or all is lost.
Hi there.
Remember me? I'm having flashbacks as we speak.
Okay.
What is the integral of the sine function of minus pi to pi, anyone? Ooh! Zero because sine is an odd function and the negative area cancels out the positive area.
Sabrina, could you get yourself organised so you can participate in the class, please? Yes, sir.
ZELDA: You what? - I bought a clock shop.
- Which clock shop? - The one down by the market.
That shop? It's in a terrible location.
No, it's not.
It took me five minutes to find.
In the last two years, that same spot has been a karate school, a nail salon, a yogurt shop, another nail salon, a Chinese restaurant, and a combination Chinese restaurant and nail salon.
So, what you're saying is, if things go well, I could sublet to a psychic.
Hilda, all those shops failed.
Well, mine isn't going to fail.
Mine is going to be a gigantic, colossal success.
I am going to be the Rolex of the clock world.
You don't know the first thing about clocks.
I know tons about clocks.
- What time is it? - Eight-forty.
It's 10 after 2.
All right, so I put my watch on upside down, okay? And it's 8:40 somewhere.
- Hi there.
- Hi back.
[FABRIC TEARS.]
I've had days like that.
You are a day like that.
- What was that? - Oh, a stomach rumble.
I had the fish cakes.
Oh, no, no, no, don't get interested in her, son.
That girl is poison.
Yeah, there is something strange about her, isn't there? Something weird.
Hey, you know, I like you, boy.
You know the best way to fit into a new school other than just being, you know, Danno to my McGarrett? Extracurricular activities.
And just at the moment, we are desperate to find a new editor for our yearbook.
Oh, well, I might be interested in a job like that.
Oh, that's great.
Fine.
Put the new kid in charge of our memories.
Harvey's gonna bring his parents' old yearbooks.
I'm gonna put pictures of old Westbridge students.
And these pictures are being brought by the same Harvey who can't remember to write a letter.
This editor thing is important to me.
So would you put a sock in it, Sergeant Negative? Aye, aye, Captain Deluded.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Hey, maybe that's my witch student.
[SALEM LAUGHING.]
You're gonna teach some poor kid how to do ma-- I think it's marvellous.
Sabrina, your witch student is here.
SABRINA: Coming.
Don't get smart with me, mister.
Just practising.
It's a girl.
Oh, good because fish are so hard to train.
She's in there.
- Dreama? You're my student? - And you're my teacher? This is incredible.
I'm so lucky.
[SHATTERS.]
Can I please go back to working on the family secret? I got you a present.
Oh, dear, that was supposed to be flowers.
That's okay.
We don't have a vase.
Dreama's parents moved her here from the Other Realm so that you could help her.
She's a very bright girl, but she's neglected her magic.
Great.
Aunt Zelda, can I speak to you in private for a moment? Remember my "can-do" attitude? Gone.
She's a walking disaster.
Witches' Council has to pull another name out of the hat.
Dreama wasn't chosen for you at random.
Her name came from an intricately constructed, scientific hat.
[MAGIC CHIMES.]
I can't work with her.
Can't you see? She'll kill me.
Sabrina, it's a mandate from the Other Realm.
You have to improve Dreama's magic or you'll lose your witch's licence and be deported.
It's something new and horrible every day, isn't it? The Mortal Realm is so different from the Other Realm.
- I hope I can fit in.
- There are things to remember: One, I worked very hard to get my witch's licence.
Two, it means a lot to me.
Three, I have a hard time covering my own tracks, let alone yours.
Four or five, or wherever I am, no magic in front of mortals.
Okay, got it.
Hey, I don't care what you did at your old school.
Here, we do not celebrate Firecracker Tuesday.
So you meant magic of any sort? Harvey.
Hey, did you bring the old yearbooks? Uh-oh.
- Well, did you at least write the letter? - Oh, man.
Brad came over and we rated every defensive back in the NFL.
Salem was right.
- Your cat? - Don't change the subject.
I'll get the books at lunch, I promise.
At least I know that if Harvey was out with Brad last night, Brad couldn't have worked on his yearbook proposal.
Mr.
Alcerro, now this is what I call a proposal.
- I'll say, whose is--? - Nice work, Bradley.
Yes, you know, it's reassuring to see that some students can get their proposals in on time.
If I were you, I would start sharpening my editor's pencil.
[PHONE RINGS.]
- Hello? HILDA: Hi.
So I was wondering, are you ever gonna come down to my shop? In other words, you're in way over your head and you need me to come down there and rescue you.
Something vaguely like that.
[YELLING INDISTINCTLY.]
So we're not supposed to use our magic to do schoolwork even though you're a witch? Hey, I thought we promised Dr.
Fishman we weren't gonna name-call.
Here's another rule you need to know if you're gonna survive: Never let a mortal know you're a witch.
Okay.
But who's Dr.
Fishman? Yeah, this is a nice proposal.
I wish Brad would move back to Texas.
I'm assuming you meant to send Brad to Texas.
Well, while we're here, you wanna rustle up some grub? Where did you come from? I really think you need to have that conversation with your parents.
What did I say about magic in front of mortals, especially bad magic? I'm sorry.
I've been doing this all my life.
I pull before I think.
[BELL RINGS.]
I've gotta get to health class.
Mrs.
Quick won't mind if I leave this here.
Sit.
Stay.
All Sabrina needs to do is fill in these blank spots with high school students from the past.
There's no mortals around.
To finish her poster Of Westbridge High Bring me the students Of years gone by Where are we? Where's the radio? We were listening to Jack Benny.
Uh-oh.
I'll have that fixed for you by Monday.
I just didn't say which Monday.
I bet you're kicking yourself now that you didn't get a piece of this when you had the chance.
You cannot possibly run this place by yourself.
And I am not coming down here every day to help you.
Okay, 25 percent.
But that's my final offer.
Oh, what a great grandfather clock.
Actually, it's a grandfather clock, but it appears to be a great one.
There's something odd about this clock.
What? That it actually works? - Let's check out the guts inside.
- No, wait.
Now I see why that guy wanted all cash.
Psst.
[MOUTHS.]
Go away.
Two minutes walking around and my legs should wake up.
You did magic, didn't you? You think this has anything to do with the war? Where am I? Who are you? Hilda, I hope you're happy.
You bought a magical lost-in-time clock.
Well, how was I supposed to know that that's what it was? "Lost-in-time clock.
Persons who come through this clock are lost in time.
Whoever opens this portal must assist the time traveller or be turned into a clock themselves.
No excuses, no exceptions.
This means you.
" Well, I guess that's what they mean by "buyer beware.
" They said these things were safe.
- Well, now what do we do? - I'm not sure.
See, you don't know any more about running a clock shop than I do.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- You've gotta reverse the spell.
- I don't know how.
Let me try.
You don't know how to reverse your spells, but know how to seal them? This isn't good news, is it? I've read about lost-in-time people before.
They made a big mistake somewhere in their lives, and they have to go back so they can correct it.
Okay, Billy, what was the last thing that you remember doing? Let's see.
I was in the big game, I was running for a pass, and I noticed my shoe was untied-- - That must be it.
- Right.
Okay, Billy, go back.
And this time, don't trip.
Oh, not as easy as it looks.
We've gotta get to my aunts.
Let's make a break for it.
Halt.
That's detention for everyone, including George and Mary Bailey here.
They're part of my yearbook proposal.
You know, a live, 3-D interactive presentation with kids from the Westbridge Players.
I don't like it.
Well, then I guess we'll have to return the costumes to the costume shop.
The fact that we don't have a costume shop doesn't even bother me.
Okay, the glue is on.
Thank goodness you remember dropping that pass.
Okay, Billy, go back there.
And this time, win one for The Gipper.
All right, well, we have that spare bedroom, don't we? [BELL DINGS.]
Oh, it's Sabrina and Dreama.
HILDA: And two weird kids.
I've got a big problem.
- Cirque du Soleil? - Football player.
He came through the clock.
So I can speak freely.
Oh, no, it's Brad.
You can help me send these people back to their homes, or you could help me fight the Witches' Council in a fiery apocalyptic showdown, whatever works for you.
We've got a little problem.
Brad's outside.
- Brad? - Gretchen? - Billy? - You know each other? We were in love, but I decided to play in the big game instead of taking her out for her birthday.
So I went out with John instead.
And you never thought about going out after the game? Billy, that's why you're lost in time.
You've got to go back, skip the game and be with your girl.
You've gotta go out and make sure Brad doesn't come back here.
- Just show him some clocks.
- But if you sell one, no commission.
- Now let's let these guys 23 skidoo.
- Hilda, that's the '20s.
- Sorry, it looks like you lose out.
- Well, that's okay.
If you ever find yourself in 1946, look me up.
Toodle-oo.
Buy bonds.
So we've sent three very confused people back home through a clock.
Now all I have to do is come up with an excuse.
- Hilda, do you feel strange? - Definitely.
What's that? This Brad is the boy who dislikes you for no apparent reason? That's right.
Bingo.
Witch hunter.
As in, hunts witches? A very small amount of mortals are born with a witch-hunting gene that makes them wanna ferret out witches.
Something new and horrible.
Right on time.
Okay, so Harvey's best friend is trying to out me? He doesn't know what he's doing.
He just senses magic and it makes him suspicious.
Yeah, the real danger comes when a witch inadvertently reveals herself to a witch hunter.
Then you get turned into a mouse for a hundred years.
So we have to be very careful.
Oh, well, we're always careful, and we'd never do magic around-- Dreama.
Maybe they're next door at the beef bowl.
No Dreama.
Goodbye licence, goodbye home.
Witch hunter, give me her.
- What? - I'm so sorry.
Miss Spellman, do I have to add crimes against nature to your dossier? I-- Dreama, thank goodness.
- Who am I holding? - My science project.
Note the tumour.
You will be happy to learn the detention hall now serves a continental breakfast.
- Your girlfriend is weird.
- I know.
I've been looking for you for, like, an hour.
I have a pager.
Here's your vintage yearbooks and my heartfelt letter of recommendation.
You really wrote it? With a little encouragement from Dreama.
She sat me down and told me to just write what I feel.
The first three drafts are about my stomachache.
This last one is straight from the heart.
"Sabrina Spellman is the nicest, smartest, most imaginative person I've ever met.
Pick her as yearbook editor and watch her work her magic.
" Oh, Harvey.
[BELL RINGS.]
Life's great when you're not annoyed with me.
So are you annoyed with me? You're not very good with your magic, but you're a pretty good friend.
All this excitement has made me thirsty.
No! Let's go over the rules again.
Well? Well, Brad made yearbook editor.
- We can turn him into a chicken.
- Well, that's okay.
I'll have plenty to do mentoring Dreama.
- Did you get your clock fixed? - Of course.
I run a clock shop.
Since Hilda has absolutely no experience fixing things, we had to improvise a little.
I'm not doing this all night.
I'm not working weekends, I'm taking holidays off.
- Salem.
- Cuckoo.