Stella (2012) s04e02 Episode Script
Series 4, Episode 2
Le Cafe de les Alans.
See him there.
Mr Honey.
Never address him directly.
Oh, my God! I've been collecting my winnings.
I won a million quid.
And then she smiles And my heart starts beating I go weak inside Na na na na na na Na na na Apparently, that is the next generation of domestic service technology.
I was just going to say that.
You haven't paid for all this, have you, presh? No, it's sale or return.
What's this? Nose hair trimmer.
And these? Glow-in-the-dark combs.
Stell Do you think people would wanna buy this kind of stuff? Yeah! Some of it looks quite useful.
You got many coming tonight then? No, not really.
Right.
Well, leave it to me.
I will do a ring round.
Oh.
It's for ear wax.
Ah.
Bobby G, image consultant, fully qualified three-week course.
Presidential.
I'm here to make you look great.
Spelt G-R, then the number eight.
I'm all done, see.
- You're two hours early.
- Mmm-hmm.
- What do you think? - It's the best thing I've ever seen.
Trying to help Zoe out.
- By annoying me? - Mmm.
She wants to make a bit of extra cash for her new Yeah, I know.
Hey, you're not around tonight, are you? Only she could do with some help setting up her gadget party.
Sure, yeah.
I've got nothing better to do.
Aw.
Look, I know it's a little bit low-key at the moment, presh.
Most new businesses take a bit of time to get going.
And you know what they say about new dawns? No, what do they say? Er, well, it's something really optimistic like, so Let's imagine I've just said it and now you're feeling a whole lot better.
God, you're inspiring.
Hmm.
I want a strong striking colour that really makes a statement.
What kind of statement exactly? I don't know, you're the image consultant.
Something that says, "I run a business that has recently received a seven figure cash injection.
" Citron Sunrise.
There we are.
All right, good boy.
Work your magic, but quick! I've got a meeting with Dai Davies in our new premises.
New premises? Purchased without consulting yours truly, if you please.
But he's not the only one who can spring a surprise.
I got a folder full of ideas that will blow his little squirrel socks off when he - Morning.
- Oh, my God! We're out of milk.
I got some UHT in my room.
The delivery comes at 10:00, but that's just for fruit and veg.
You gotta pick up the meat From George The Butcher at 11:00, yeah, I know.
Little Alan, if you want a lift, you're gonna have to shift.
Coming.
And you're sure about the menu, 'cause I made it cheap and cheerful like you asked.
Yep.
Nothing fancy, just good honest grub.
Steak and chips, egg and chips.
But we don't call it "Egg and chips", we call it That's what I said.
All right, ready then? Come on, get off to uni.
- It's college.
- Yeah, still a degree, though, isn't it? No, it's a part-time catering course.
Either way.
I'm so bloody proud of you.
Anytime now would be fine.
Oh, what's the vegetarian options? Right.
I'll be in the car trying not to cry.
Veg options are cheese omelette, with an oeuf and Caesar's salad.
- Without? - Doubt.
Chicken! Little A, I can cope for one day without you, all right? Come on.
Rhian, Beyonce.
Please, come in.
I don't wanna get no one in trouble, I just want what's fair like.
Fair would be knocking his cocking block off.
Aunty Rhian, don't.
- Sorry.
- It's all right.
Perhaps you could tell me, Beyonce, in your own words exactly what happened.
I used to work the tills at Lepton's in Port Talbot.
One day I noticed the manager staring at me.
Staring all the time.
Staring in, um In what way? In that way that men do.
He asked me out a couple of times And I said no.
And the next day he said he found and a bottle of Malibu in my bag.
Bastard sacked her, he did, the bastard.
Like I said, I don't wanna get no one in trouble.
Maybe I shouldn't have come here.
No, no.
You absolutely should have come and this sounds very much like sexual harassment.
Compen-cocking-sation, is it? Uh, there are no guarantees when it comes to the law.
Oh, she knows that bit.
She's had more lawyers than I've had kids.
- Aunty Rhian - Whiplash, food poisoning, tripping on a cocking kerb.
You've made compensation claims before? - Do the Pope shit in the woods? - No.
Some of them lawyers in Cardiff won't touch her no more.
They got her photo on the wall and everything.
Oh, my God! Are you mental or something? - Well, that's nice.
- What did I say? I said, "Don't go on about the other stuff.
" - Are you deaf or just stupid? - All right, man! Oh, so sorry about that, Michael, where were we? Enter.
Will you kindly put some clothes on? Every morning I have to do jeet kune do.
Naked as the day I was born.
Sets me up for the day, it do.
Well, so do my boiled eggs, but I don't wanna be eating them with a view of you with full frontals.
The human body is a machine.
It needs to be serviced, buffed and oiled.
You're a nurse, not a Nissan.
You either get respectable or you're out of here quicker than you can march.
Fine.
From now on, I'll remain fully clothed in the communal areas of the house.
But I expect the same of you.
Oh! Thank you.
Your carriage awaits.
Where's my high-flying executive vehicle? We haven't got one.
It's Brenda's Buses, not Brenda's High-Flying Executive vehicles.
What would Dai Davies think if I turned up in that? He'd think you run a bus company.
Don't be smart with me, wait there.
I'll get my Bluetooth.
Sweet baby Jesus! My uniform's on the radiator.
If you did allow the heating on in the rest of the house, I wouldn't have to come down here.
Kaplum.
The Rotor Max has 30 convenient hooks for ties, belts and other accessories.
Powered by three double-A batteries, it really is - A load of old rubbish.
a time-saving invention.
- Oi! - Oh! I'm not gonna sell any of this.
Don't worry about it, send it back.
I gotta try, babe, we need the money.
People are coming around tonight, and I've spent a fortune on booze.
- How much? - 50 quid.
Your mum gave me half, and you never know.
- I might make a killing.
- Yeah.
You never know.
Right, some of us have gotta work.
Ay, do me a favour and look after Sophie.
I'm busy.
All right, all right.
Do you want to see a video of a monkey picking his bum? So Cheryl She's quite a woman.
Don't you start, good boy.
I know how your mind works, like a sewer.
I was just inquiring as to whether, she is courting at the moment.
I'm about to have the most important business meeting this town has ever seen.
I don't need you talking filth.
Here we go.
Welcome to Dai Davies' International Car Sales.
Number one for car sales in Pontyberry and surrounding low-lying areas.
Special deals on this week.
Hurry! Right, Dai Davies, the dragon is in the den.
Yes! - Are you allergic to feathers? - No, why? Because I am spitting them right now and you're about to get a mouthful.
You're, uh, angry? Livid more like.
You need a microscope to see that Brenda's Buses sign.
Same size as it always was, it's just my sign has changed.
Exactly, you can see yours from space! Where do you want this, Dai? Oh, on the wall above my desk.
Right.
I've got a five-point plan of action here, starting with Staff.
Now, I've got big plans for our Luke.
If I could stop you there.
I've just promoted Luke to senior car lot manager.
It's not really a promotion, it's still commission only.
But with more responsibility.
You never told me you were promoting Luke.
Why should I? He don't work for Brenda's Buses.
He works for Dai Davies International Car Sales.
Vroom-vroom.
What's "International" about it, may I ask? He once sold a car to a bloke from Jersey.
Er, Guernsey.
All right.
Moving on to point two, expanding our business portfolio.
Just a moment, please.
Susan, could you, er Could you join us, please? Susan? She's my new assistant.
She'd be looking after my dairy.
So in future if you'd just check with her before setting up a meeting.
- Susan? - That's right.
Ah! You little marvel.
Susan, Brenda.
Brenda, Susan.
Come on! Aren't you a bit old to be stealing sweets? There's actually a knack to it.
I can show you if you like.
I think I know how to use a vending machine, thank you.
So I see.
Do not ask me where I learnt to do that.
I wasn't going to.
Now, money may be tight, and we may be missing Little Al, but that doesn't mean we can drop our standards.
People have come to expect a certain level of excellence from - Le Cafe de les Alans.
- Yes, Chef.
I want crisp table cloths, shiny knives and plates so clean you could eat your dinner off 'em.
That was a joke, Nadine.
I've never been very good with jokes.
Hey, here we go.
Action stations! Good morning and welcome to Le Cafe de les Alans, I'll be your waitress this morning.
Can I get you a drink for yourself whilst you pursue our menu this morning? Glass of Welsh tap.
Certainly, I'll get that for yourself no problem this morning, thank you very much.
It's a four-point investment plan that's as daring as it is brilliant, starting with a cash injection for Brenda's Buses to purchase more vehicles.
- No.
- No.
What do you mean "no"? And why is she even talking? Susan is an executive assistant with a Roman portfolio.
It's not just her coffee I take, it's her advice.
You know I see myself as the father of a business family.
The car sales as my first born, my own flesh and blood.
And Brenda's Buses is very much a naughty stepchild that you and I look after in a loving and financially separate way.
There'll be no sex talk here, Dai Davies.
Having said that, I would of course be delighted to hear of any ideas that you have for improving my children, slash, businesses.
A national advertising campaign for Brenda's Buses starring the cast of the popular situation comedy, On The Buses! - It's a bit out of date, ain't it? - Out of date.
All right, how about the cast of Howards' Way? - No.
- No.
So that's two salads avec poulet with pomme frites, no tomates.
Not a problem at all for yourself today, madam, this morning, thank you.
Check on! Two poulet salads, two pomme frites, no tomate in the salad.
- Here we go.
- You do the chicken.
- I'll chop the salad.
- Yeah, all right.
Careful now, Nadine.
Sure you know what you're doing there? It's one thing being without Little Al, but we couldn't cope if you cut your finger off.
Don't worry, I'll be all I can't look, I'm terrible with blood.
Your face.
Karl thought me that one.
Brilliant, innit? Oh, thank you, Lord.
All right, Yant.
What you got there? - It's a gift.
- Aw! For me? No, it's for a creature of infinite beauty.
- Oh, thanks for that.
- A woman with the face of an angel, and the body of a fox.
You've been using that leaded paint again, presh? I'm looking for Cheryl, you seen her? Yeah, she's in there.
Oh, my God! You haven't got a thing for her, have you? Oh, I've got a thing for her, all right.
A crazy little thing called love.
I haven't felt like this in years Or months.
Well, look, you better take it easy where she's concerned.
I don't think she's the type to respond to big romantic gestures.
There's a sanitary towel stuck in the U-bend.
I'll call maintenance.
Sheer poetry.
Oh, wait - Pork chop, sorry, le pork chop.
- Excuse me! Could you not just eat it anyway? We're havin' a few problems at the moment.
Excuse me! Excuse me, we've been waiting nearly half an hour.
I know, it's terrible, innit? Sorry, Michael.
We're a man down and a hand down at the moment.
You may want to come back later.
I only want a cheese and onion sandwich.
I totally forgot the ingredients.
Please, just give me two minutes, yeah? Make it yourself if you want.
Please, just, uh, what was your order? Just to be clear, you'll still have to pay for that.
Yeah, of course.
You've done this before? What, made a sandwich? Yes, I have.
You couldn't do us a couple of Caesar's salads for table two.
What about A stag and hen bus.
Yes, um Front of the bus has stag horns attached.
Back has a big hen's face with, er, in pink and black.
- I like it.
- We like it.
How much is it going to cost? And where are you getting your half from? My half? No, you are paying for this from your winnings.
Oh, so I own 50% of Brenda's Buses, but I have to put in 100% of the money.
Don't sound fair to me.
Oh, that is it! I come to you with the best ideas this side of Harvard Business School, and you quite literally spit on my flipchart.
- Come on, calm down.
- Calm down.
I have a good mind to walk away right now.
I only stayed to stop you running this business into the ground.
I'd happily retire today and put my feet up.
Well, maybe you better leave then.
Well, maybe I will.
Well, maybe I'll get my chequebook and buy you out.
Mind you don't wake up the moths sleeping in it.
Susan! Cheque book, please.
This partnership is over! It's not my fault, I got these glands, see, that's why I put on the weight.
And which glands are these? I don't know, glands.
Let me tell you what glands do.
Glands produce hormones.
What they don't do is make you eat pizzas, curries and deep-fried Mars bars.
That comes from an organ called the brain, which you might want to start using.
Miss Morris.
Yes, Mr Honey.
About earlier, I'm not sure if I, um I mean, I probably did, but I don't think I actually said thank you.
You didn't.
In that case, thank you.
You're welcome.
And are you, um - Well? - Yes.
I'm great.
Well, not exactly great, you know what it's like, got exams all the time and revision and You probably don't wanna hear me go on about that.
God, no.
Right, um Onwards and upwards.
- What? - Nothing.
Here you go, two Caesar's salads.
- Why is the bread all crispy? - Those are croutons.
Why is the croutons all crispy? We got a customer wants to know what the specials are.
Specials, specials I can remember this.
No.
Right.
Tell them the specials are off.
What about something like eggs Benedict? Bit of a speciality of mine, I make them for Katie.
Is it fancy? 'Cause they're right fussy peckers around here.
Just posh bacon and eggs.
- Perfect.
Eggs Benedict it is.
- I'll go tell 'em.
- Miss Cheryl, emergency.
- Everything all right, sir? I've got a terrible pain, right here, in my heart.
Oh.
- What the hell is that? - A dream catcher.
'Cause you will be forever in my dreams.
I've got a pepper spray in my right sock, and I will deploy it.
And what have you got in your left sock? - My foot.
- Oh, me too.
- We've got so much in common.
- This is your final warning.
Failure to leave the building may result in a serious injury.
You have no idea how much that turns me on.
- You have been warned.
- Ah! Oh, God.
Yanto.
I told you what she was like.
Come with me.
From now on, we are entering a new chapter.
No more being held up by that That woman.
We are going cutting-edge corporate.
Enjoy.
Dai You've earned it, son, you've earned it.
No more being told what I can and cannot do.
I'm my own boss, my own man.
- Do you want a hand, Mr Davies? - No, I'm all right.
She held me back, that woman, but no more.
I can do what I want when I want.
- Mr Davies, are you sure - I can chew with my mouth open.
I can pick my ears.
I can whistle.
I am Free.
What do you think? - It's a bit small - It's perfect.
Thank you, Susan.
You know the best thing about being retired? The freedom.
I can do whatever I damn well like.
No grubby little squirrels getting in my way.
Not actual squirrels, mind.
Lovely, innit? Can you think of anyone you would want to swap lives with right now? Yes, this, my friend, is the life.
Livin' La Vida Loco.
You had your lunch break yet? No, and I am starving.
Thought we'd go to the cafe, little moral support for Alan.
Oh, good idea.
Give me a minute.
Just to sort lover boy out here.
Oh, what's happened to him? Cheryl.
The divine beauty with lips like sweet cherries and a smile that stretches to infinity.
Proper poet of Pontyberry, you are, Yanto.
That's it.
You're a genius, Stell.
I'll write her a poem.
Oh, you little Service.
I'll be back for that one in a minute.
Things are going like a storm.
Table nine wants a word.
I'm doing the best I can.
I'm not a trained chef.
I'm only helping out.
Don't tell me, tell him.
All right, fine.
Okay, Bobby, first I'm doing my best.
Secondly, we've been very busy, and I don't need you These are gorgeous.
- Really? - Oh! The best eggs Benedict I've had in years, and I've been all over Paris, Rome, Prestatyn.
That's very kind of you to say so.
The secret is a sprig of tarragon with a dash of lime.
Well, whatever it is, they could win awards.
I don't know if they do awards for eggs Benedict.
But if they did, you'd definitely win the silver.
Or a bronze.
- Not gold.
- No.
Ah, it's nice and busy.
It's good.
Hi.
Good afternoon and welcome to Le Cafe de les Alans this afternoon.
Can I recommend for yourselves this afternoon tryin' our special of the day, eggs Benedict made by our brand new chef.
New chef? Who's that then? Michael? What are you doing here? Well, they're a bit short-handed.
Literally, in Alan's case.
Came in for a sandwich, and I got roped in to help.
Well, look at you, Master Chef.
Oh! Service! Table five, out.
Right you are.
That man is a lifesaver.
I felt a bit bad missing out on the opening, it's the least I could do.
You're staring at me.
That could either be very good or very bad.
That is so lovely of you.
Thank you.
You can thank me later.
Oh, talking of later, you're still all right to help out with Zoe's thing? Yeah, of course, just a sec.
Service! Sorry about that.
- I'll leave you to it.
- Nadine, salad.
Dai Davies International Car Sales.
Number one for car sales in Pontyberry.
- Thank you, sir.
Thank you, madam.
- Thank you.
Dai Davies International Car Sales.
Brilliant.
That is cocking brilliant.
But I have no money.
Well, I think an executive saloon car might be slightly out of your budget.
No, I meant for comic relief.
That's why you're dressed like a cocking knob, is it? Perhaps it is a bit tight.
Yes.
You said it was perfect before.
Susan, if we're going to work together, you have to tell me the truth.
A man in my position can't afford to look ridiculous.
Thank you so much.
I just couldn't have coped without you.
And it's not just staff we're short of It's money.
We're really short on money.
Money is so tight at the moment Alan, I don't want paying.
It's fine.
That's a load off.
It was actually quite fun.
Really? Beer? - On the house.
- Why not? Yeah.
Do you mind if I give you some advice? - Is it free? - Yes.
Keeping your hand elevated is for cuts, not burns.
Yeah, I knew that.
Just a precautionary thing, that was, for Sure.
Cheers.
You know This really is a dream come true for me.
Teething problems of course, but I wouldn't swap it for the world.
You always wanted to go into soliciting then? Into law, yeah.
Wouldn't call it a dream though.
- Huh? So what's the dream? - I don't know.
When I was younger, I wanted to ride across America on a bike.
Easy Rider kind of thing.
- You ought to go see Big Guin.
- Who's Guin? Mate of mine, got a bike shop.
Harleys, Triumphs, the lot.
We call him "Big Guin" 'cause he's 4'10".
Uses his little stool to get up on the bikes, but Yeah, just say my name, he'll give you 10% off.
Don't mention the stool, though, he gets quite funny about that.
I don't actually want a bike.
Not now.
And even if I did No, stupid.
Al, you really don't have to Yeah, of course.
Next item on the agenda, Brenda's Buses.
Now I'm solo, now I want out of the box, blue-sky thinking about taking it to the next level.
- What do you think? - I think that's a good idea.
I mean, what suggestions do you have? Right.
What's the first thing that comes into your head? - Finger? - Next thing? A fudge.
How about changing the name of the company from Brenda's Buses to, er, - Dai Davies' Buses? - Yes.
Actually, that's a terrible idea.
Yes.
You're not just agreeing with everything I say, are you? - No.
- So if I was to say passengers can travel free at weekends, you'd say that was a goo Good idea? - Way to go bust.
- Yes.
Absolutely.
What do you think? I think you're on a bike.
It's not just a bike, a Triumph Bonneville.
Bit of an impulse buy, but I thought, "Sod it, you only live once.
" I thought you were in the cafe.
Well, things died down a bit, so I left, and I was on my way back Well, I had such a laugh today and it was so, I don't know, liberating, I bought the bike to celebrate.
Right.
Gonna dig out my leathers.
Michael Is this another "hole in the wall" moment? No.
I don't think so.
"I can't sleep.
" "I can't rest" - Are you inebriated? - "You're so gorgeous without a vest.
" "Your hair is short, but not like a boy.
" "I'd like to have you as a toy.
" I could have you sectioned.
They'd have you sedated quicker than you can say "lithium suppository".
Come on, Cheryl, man, give me a chance.
You know what you are? You're a stuck-up cow! Look at you With your face all miserable and your moaning bloody voice.
Couple of glasses of this punch and they'll wanna buy everything, you watch.
Dad, what do you look like? The Fonz.
- Yeah.
- Do you even know who "The Fonz" is? One of the Muppets, ain't he? - Light these candles up nice and - Wow.
See you in a bit.
- You're not going out, are you? - I won't be long.
Just gonna take it for a quick spin.
Michael Do you have to do this now? You don't need me, do you? No.
But this is really important to Zoe.
I'm going for a quick ride, people aren't even here yet.
Go on, let him play with his toy.
All right.
Thanks, Mum.
First up, is something nobody should be without.
It's the revolutionary Chin-gym.
Ideal for the busy executive woman with a chin.
- Will it fit donkeys? - Uh, no.
I wanna get one of them gloves with a beer can in them.
Bloody genius! Don't think I got one of those.
But I have got an electric shoe freshener.
Oh, is that suitable for donkeys? To be honest, I I don't think there's much stuff that's specifically for donkeys.
I'll tell you what, um, why don't we all just have a little look and see what takes our fancy, is it? Yeah.
Punch.
And help yourself to more rum punch.
Hello, Casanova, how'd it go? Oh, the horror.
The horror.
What actually happened? You don't wanna know.
I'll wash, but I'll never be clean.
Oh, speaking of clean, do you want a waterproof shower radio in the shape of a shark? Will it take away the pain? - Definitely.
- All right.
Zoe, customer coming through.
All right, Dai? Thanks for coming.
Oh, you know me, always keen to support new business ventures.
Especially now you're a millionaire.
Bet that cash is burning a hole in your pocket.
No, not really.
I'm just here to browse.
- That's actually - Ear wax remover, I got two of them.
Is, er, Aunty Brenda coming? Hey, Mr Lawyer.
Beyonce? Nice outfit.
I know, The Fonz.
Never mind.
Makes you look - younger.
- Really? Is that an insult or a compliment? You decide.
That is brilliant.
- Right, I want me one.
- Thank you.
Oh, splendid.
Yes, I very much agree.
Yes, of course it will be the top table.
Just a little fundraiser I'm putting together.
Yes, that's settled.
And thanks for being the celebrity guest.
Goodbye, then, Cilla Black.
- I'm impressed.
- Well, I like to do my bit.
I mean, it's quite hard to talk on a Bluetooth when it's not switched on.
Battery must have just run out.
You wouldn't understand.
Anyway, Dai Davies, how's business with you? Oh, flat-out 24/7.
I only left this morning.
I lost all track of time, it's been that productive.
Well, as you're so busy, you best get back to it.
Where've you been? Sorry, must have lost track of time.
I've been worried about you, I thought you crashed or something.
Just enjoying the freedom.
Of the bike.
I should have called.
Yeah, you should.
Hey, Stell.
Stell, this is immense.
I bought three.
- That's really beautiful, Karl.
- Mmm.
I'll go and get changed.
You want a go? Look, er, we both said some things today that we probably regret.
I don't regret a thing.
This has been the best day of my life.
But it's not too late.
I'm willing to say I'm sorry if you are.
Things not working out with Susan, are they? I'm only thinking of you.
I know you love Brenda's Buses.
And what else are you going to do with your days? What else am I going to do? Let's be honest, you're going to sit around, bored out of your brains, staring at the wall, wishing you had someone to take notice of you.
Why don't we bury the hatchet and apologise, hmm? Come on.
On three we'll say "I'm sorry".
One, two, three I'm sorry.
And I'm sorry.
Apology accepted.
But you're a pompous little squirrel with ridiculous teeth.
This is the ultimate mission spy pen.
You say your message into here.
Okay, yay! Okay, yay! Then you play it back.
Okay, yay! Okay, yay! And then it disappears.
- Message deleted.
- Ah, stunning.
So, it only plays the message once, see.
Yeah.
Brilliant.
- One for you, Nadine? - No.
Right, who wants a drink? Michael's mojitos.
Special recipe.
Bring it on, bud.
That fellow of yours is a bloody hero, you know.
So you keep telling me.
A natural, like Little Alan.
It's gonna be great having him around the next couple of weeks.
- Helping out.
- A couple of weeks? - I thought it was a one-off.
- No, no.
Just till my hand gets better, two weeks, three at the most.
Call it a month.
- We're off now, Stell.
- Thanks a lot.
Right.
- Best get 'em mojitos before they go.
- Bye, then.
Yeah, I'll see you out.
Dai Davies, I am sorry.
Message deleted.
So, I spoke to Alan.
He said you were brilliant today.
That's telling, because I was.
And that you're going to be working at the cafe for the next few weeks.
- Yeah, um, about that - Look.
I love Alan to death, and I'd always help him out.
But you're a qualified solicitor.
Why'd you wanna work in a cafe in Pontyberry? Because it was fun, all right? I'm sorry, I don't wanna sound melodramatic, but it's the first time I've enjoyed myself for ages.
- Oh.
- I didn't mean it like that.
Work-wise.
I've been a lawyer for 20 years, and, I don't know, working in the cafe today made me realise how bored I am.
I just wanted a break from it.
The cafe's like a holiday.
- With Nadine.
- Well, we can't have everything.
- If you're worried about money - It's not the money, it's just - You all right, presh? - I'm fine.
Really.
So this is just for a couple of weeks, and then you'll go back to your proper job, is it? Yeah, of course.
I know I should have said something, and maybe it's a hangover from Jan, she never stopped nagging.
I guess I was just worried we'd end up having a row.
- Michael, I'm not Jan.
- I know.
You're much sexier.
Shall I get the leather jacket? - Go on then.
- Pervert.
Pack yourself and get out! You're sacked! What? You hate me now, don't you? I assure you I don't.
Let's see what else I can find, is it? So what about you then, gorgeous? - Any confessions? - What? No.
Nothing.
See him there.
Mr Honey.
Never address him directly.
Oh, my God! I've been collecting my winnings.
I won a million quid.
And then she smiles And my heart starts beating I go weak inside Na na na na na na Na na na Apparently, that is the next generation of domestic service technology.
I was just going to say that.
You haven't paid for all this, have you, presh? No, it's sale or return.
What's this? Nose hair trimmer.
And these? Glow-in-the-dark combs.
Stell Do you think people would wanna buy this kind of stuff? Yeah! Some of it looks quite useful.
You got many coming tonight then? No, not really.
Right.
Well, leave it to me.
I will do a ring round.
Oh.
It's for ear wax.
Ah.
Bobby G, image consultant, fully qualified three-week course.
Presidential.
I'm here to make you look great.
Spelt G-R, then the number eight.
I'm all done, see.
- You're two hours early.
- Mmm-hmm.
- What do you think? - It's the best thing I've ever seen.
Trying to help Zoe out.
- By annoying me? - Mmm.
She wants to make a bit of extra cash for her new Yeah, I know.
Hey, you're not around tonight, are you? Only she could do with some help setting up her gadget party.
Sure, yeah.
I've got nothing better to do.
Aw.
Look, I know it's a little bit low-key at the moment, presh.
Most new businesses take a bit of time to get going.
And you know what they say about new dawns? No, what do they say? Er, well, it's something really optimistic like, so Let's imagine I've just said it and now you're feeling a whole lot better.
God, you're inspiring.
Hmm.
I want a strong striking colour that really makes a statement.
What kind of statement exactly? I don't know, you're the image consultant.
Something that says, "I run a business that has recently received a seven figure cash injection.
" Citron Sunrise.
There we are.
All right, good boy.
Work your magic, but quick! I've got a meeting with Dai Davies in our new premises.
New premises? Purchased without consulting yours truly, if you please.
But he's not the only one who can spring a surprise.
I got a folder full of ideas that will blow his little squirrel socks off when he - Morning.
- Oh, my God! We're out of milk.
I got some UHT in my room.
The delivery comes at 10:00, but that's just for fruit and veg.
You gotta pick up the meat From George The Butcher at 11:00, yeah, I know.
Little Alan, if you want a lift, you're gonna have to shift.
Coming.
And you're sure about the menu, 'cause I made it cheap and cheerful like you asked.
Yep.
Nothing fancy, just good honest grub.
Steak and chips, egg and chips.
But we don't call it "Egg and chips", we call it That's what I said.
All right, ready then? Come on, get off to uni.
- It's college.
- Yeah, still a degree, though, isn't it? No, it's a part-time catering course.
Either way.
I'm so bloody proud of you.
Anytime now would be fine.
Oh, what's the vegetarian options? Right.
I'll be in the car trying not to cry.
Veg options are cheese omelette, with an oeuf and Caesar's salad.
- Without? - Doubt.
Chicken! Little A, I can cope for one day without you, all right? Come on.
Rhian, Beyonce.
Please, come in.
I don't wanna get no one in trouble, I just want what's fair like.
Fair would be knocking his cocking block off.
Aunty Rhian, don't.
- Sorry.
- It's all right.
Perhaps you could tell me, Beyonce, in your own words exactly what happened.
I used to work the tills at Lepton's in Port Talbot.
One day I noticed the manager staring at me.
Staring all the time.
Staring in, um In what way? In that way that men do.
He asked me out a couple of times And I said no.
And the next day he said he found and a bottle of Malibu in my bag.
Bastard sacked her, he did, the bastard.
Like I said, I don't wanna get no one in trouble.
Maybe I shouldn't have come here.
No, no.
You absolutely should have come and this sounds very much like sexual harassment.
Compen-cocking-sation, is it? Uh, there are no guarantees when it comes to the law.
Oh, she knows that bit.
She's had more lawyers than I've had kids.
- Aunty Rhian - Whiplash, food poisoning, tripping on a cocking kerb.
You've made compensation claims before? - Do the Pope shit in the woods? - No.
Some of them lawyers in Cardiff won't touch her no more.
They got her photo on the wall and everything.
Oh, my God! Are you mental or something? - Well, that's nice.
- What did I say? I said, "Don't go on about the other stuff.
" - Are you deaf or just stupid? - All right, man! Oh, so sorry about that, Michael, where were we? Enter.
Will you kindly put some clothes on? Every morning I have to do jeet kune do.
Naked as the day I was born.
Sets me up for the day, it do.
Well, so do my boiled eggs, but I don't wanna be eating them with a view of you with full frontals.
The human body is a machine.
It needs to be serviced, buffed and oiled.
You're a nurse, not a Nissan.
You either get respectable or you're out of here quicker than you can march.
Fine.
From now on, I'll remain fully clothed in the communal areas of the house.
But I expect the same of you.
Oh! Thank you.
Your carriage awaits.
Where's my high-flying executive vehicle? We haven't got one.
It's Brenda's Buses, not Brenda's High-Flying Executive vehicles.
What would Dai Davies think if I turned up in that? He'd think you run a bus company.
Don't be smart with me, wait there.
I'll get my Bluetooth.
Sweet baby Jesus! My uniform's on the radiator.
If you did allow the heating on in the rest of the house, I wouldn't have to come down here.
Kaplum.
The Rotor Max has 30 convenient hooks for ties, belts and other accessories.
Powered by three double-A batteries, it really is - A load of old rubbish.
a time-saving invention.
- Oi! - Oh! I'm not gonna sell any of this.
Don't worry about it, send it back.
I gotta try, babe, we need the money.
People are coming around tonight, and I've spent a fortune on booze.
- How much? - 50 quid.
Your mum gave me half, and you never know.
- I might make a killing.
- Yeah.
You never know.
Right, some of us have gotta work.
Ay, do me a favour and look after Sophie.
I'm busy.
All right, all right.
Do you want to see a video of a monkey picking his bum? So Cheryl She's quite a woman.
Don't you start, good boy.
I know how your mind works, like a sewer.
I was just inquiring as to whether, she is courting at the moment.
I'm about to have the most important business meeting this town has ever seen.
I don't need you talking filth.
Here we go.
Welcome to Dai Davies' International Car Sales.
Number one for car sales in Pontyberry and surrounding low-lying areas.
Special deals on this week.
Hurry! Right, Dai Davies, the dragon is in the den.
Yes! - Are you allergic to feathers? - No, why? Because I am spitting them right now and you're about to get a mouthful.
You're, uh, angry? Livid more like.
You need a microscope to see that Brenda's Buses sign.
Same size as it always was, it's just my sign has changed.
Exactly, you can see yours from space! Where do you want this, Dai? Oh, on the wall above my desk.
Right.
I've got a five-point plan of action here, starting with Staff.
Now, I've got big plans for our Luke.
If I could stop you there.
I've just promoted Luke to senior car lot manager.
It's not really a promotion, it's still commission only.
But with more responsibility.
You never told me you were promoting Luke.
Why should I? He don't work for Brenda's Buses.
He works for Dai Davies International Car Sales.
Vroom-vroom.
What's "International" about it, may I ask? He once sold a car to a bloke from Jersey.
Er, Guernsey.
All right.
Moving on to point two, expanding our business portfolio.
Just a moment, please.
Susan, could you, er Could you join us, please? Susan? She's my new assistant.
She'd be looking after my dairy.
So in future if you'd just check with her before setting up a meeting.
- Susan? - That's right.
Ah! You little marvel.
Susan, Brenda.
Brenda, Susan.
Come on! Aren't you a bit old to be stealing sweets? There's actually a knack to it.
I can show you if you like.
I think I know how to use a vending machine, thank you.
So I see.
Do not ask me where I learnt to do that.
I wasn't going to.
Now, money may be tight, and we may be missing Little Al, but that doesn't mean we can drop our standards.
People have come to expect a certain level of excellence from - Le Cafe de les Alans.
- Yes, Chef.
I want crisp table cloths, shiny knives and plates so clean you could eat your dinner off 'em.
That was a joke, Nadine.
I've never been very good with jokes.
Hey, here we go.
Action stations! Good morning and welcome to Le Cafe de les Alans, I'll be your waitress this morning.
Can I get you a drink for yourself whilst you pursue our menu this morning? Glass of Welsh tap.
Certainly, I'll get that for yourself no problem this morning, thank you very much.
It's a four-point investment plan that's as daring as it is brilliant, starting with a cash injection for Brenda's Buses to purchase more vehicles.
- No.
- No.
What do you mean "no"? And why is she even talking? Susan is an executive assistant with a Roman portfolio.
It's not just her coffee I take, it's her advice.
You know I see myself as the father of a business family.
The car sales as my first born, my own flesh and blood.
And Brenda's Buses is very much a naughty stepchild that you and I look after in a loving and financially separate way.
There'll be no sex talk here, Dai Davies.
Having said that, I would of course be delighted to hear of any ideas that you have for improving my children, slash, businesses.
A national advertising campaign for Brenda's Buses starring the cast of the popular situation comedy, On The Buses! - It's a bit out of date, ain't it? - Out of date.
All right, how about the cast of Howards' Way? - No.
- No.
So that's two salads avec poulet with pomme frites, no tomates.
Not a problem at all for yourself today, madam, this morning, thank you.
Check on! Two poulet salads, two pomme frites, no tomate in the salad.
- Here we go.
- You do the chicken.
- I'll chop the salad.
- Yeah, all right.
Careful now, Nadine.
Sure you know what you're doing there? It's one thing being without Little Al, but we couldn't cope if you cut your finger off.
Don't worry, I'll be all I can't look, I'm terrible with blood.
Your face.
Karl thought me that one.
Brilliant, innit? Oh, thank you, Lord.
All right, Yant.
What you got there? - It's a gift.
- Aw! For me? No, it's for a creature of infinite beauty.
- Oh, thanks for that.
- A woman with the face of an angel, and the body of a fox.
You've been using that leaded paint again, presh? I'm looking for Cheryl, you seen her? Yeah, she's in there.
Oh, my God! You haven't got a thing for her, have you? Oh, I've got a thing for her, all right.
A crazy little thing called love.
I haven't felt like this in years Or months.
Well, look, you better take it easy where she's concerned.
I don't think she's the type to respond to big romantic gestures.
There's a sanitary towel stuck in the U-bend.
I'll call maintenance.
Sheer poetry.
Oh, wait - Pork chop, sorry, le pork chop.
- Excuse me! Could you not just eat it anyway? We're havin' a few problems at the moment.
Excuse me! Excuse me, we've been waiting nearly half an hour.
I know, it's terrible, innit? Sorry, Michael.
We're a man down and a hand down at the moment.
You may want to come back later.
I only want a cheese and onion sandwich.
I totally forgot the ingredients.
Please, just give me two minutes, yeah? Make it yourself if you want.
Please, just, uh, what was your order? Just to be clear, you'll still have to pay for that.
Yeah, of course.
You've done this before? What, made a sandwich? Yes, I have.
You couldn't do us a couple of Caesar's salads for table two.
What about A stag and hen bus.
Yes, um Front of the bus has stag horns attached.
Back has a big hen's face with, er, in pink and black.
- I like it.
- We like it.
How much is it going to cost? And where are you getting your half from? My half? No, you are paying for this from your winnings.
Oh, so I own 50% of Brenda's Buses, but I have to put in 100% of the money.
Don't sound fair to me.
Oh, that is it! I come to you with the best ideas this side of Harvard Business School, and you quite literally spit on my flipchart.
- Come on, calm down.
- Calm down.
I have a good mind to walk away right now.
I only stayed to stop you running this business into the ground.
I'd happily retire today and put my feet up.
Well, maybe you better leave then.
Well, maybe I will.
Well, maybe I'll get my chequebook and buy you out.
Mind you don't wake up the moths sleeping in it.
Susan! Cheque book, please.
This partnership is over! It's not my fault, I got these glands, see, that's why I put on the weight.
And which glands are these? I don't know, glands.
Let me tell you what glands do.
Glands produce hormones.
What they don't do is make you eat pizzas, curries and deep-fried Mars bars.
That comes from an organ called the brain, which you might want to start using.
Miss Morris.
Yes, Mr Honey.
About earlier, I'm not sure if I, um I mean, I probably did, but I don't think I actually said thank you.
You didn't.
In that case, thank you.
You're welcome.
And are you, um - Well? - Yes.
I'm great.
Well, not exactly great, you know what it's like, got exams all the time and revision and You probably don't wanna hear me go on about that.
God, no.
Right, um Onwards and upwards.
- What? - Nothing.
Here you go, two Caesar's salads.
- Why is the bread all crispy? - Those are croutons.
Why is the croutons all crispy? We got a customer wants to know what the specials are.
Specials, specials I can remember this.
No.
Right.
Tell them the specials are off.
What about something like eggs Benedict? Bit of a speciality of mine, I make them for Katie.
Is it fancy? 'Cause they're right fussy peckers around here.
Just posh bacon and eggs.
- Perfect.
Eggs Benedict it is.
- I'll go tell 'em.
- Miss Cheryl, emergency.
- Everything all right, sir? I've got a terrible pain, right here, in my heart.
Oh.
- What the hell is that? - A dream catcher.
'Cause you will be forever in my dreams.
I've got a pepper spray in my right sock, and I will deploy it.
And what have you got in your left sock? - My foot.
- Oh, me too.
- We've got so much in common.
- This is your final warning.
Failure to leave the building may result in a serious injury.
You have no idea how much that turns me on.
- You have been warned.
- Ah! Oh, God.
Yanto.
I told you what she was like.
Come with me.
From now on, we are entering a new chapter.
No more being held up by that That woman.
We are going cutting-edge corporate.
Enjoy.
Dai You've earned it, son, you've earned it.
No more being told what I can and cannot do.
I'm my own boss, my own man.
- Do you want a hand, Mr Davies? - No, I'm all right.
She held me back, that woman, but no more.
I can do what I want when I want.
- Mr Davies, are you sure - I can chew with my mouth open.
I can pick my ears.
I can whistle.
I am Free.
What do you think? - It's a bit small - It's perfect.
Thank you, Susan.
You know the best thing about being retired? The freedom.
I can do whatever I damn well like.
No grubby little squirrels getting in my way.
Not actual squirrels, mind.
Lovely, innit? Can you think of anyone you would want to swap lives with right now? Yes, this, my friend, is the life.
Livin' La Vida Loco.
You had your lunch break yet? No, and I am starving.
Thought we'd go to the cafe, little moral support for Alan.
Oh, good idea.
Give me a minute.
Just to sort lover boy out here.
Oh, what's happened to him? Cheryl.
The divine beauty with lips like sweet cherries and a smile that stretches to infinity.
Proper poet of Pontyberry, you are, Yanto.
That's it.
You're a genius, Stell.
I'll write her a poem.
Oh, you little Service.
I'll be back for that one in a minute.
Things are going like a storm.
Table nine wants a word.
I'm doing the best I can.
I'm not a trained chef.
I'm only helping out.
Don't tell me, tell him.
All right, fine.
Okay, Bobby, first I'm doing my best.
Secondly, we've been very busy, and I don't need you These are gorgeous.
- Really? - Oh! The best eggs Benedict I've had in years, and I've been all over Paris, Rome, Prestatyn.
That's very kind of you to say so.
The secret is a sprig of tarragon with a dash of lime.
Well, whatever it is, they could win awards.
I don't know if they do awards for eggs Benedict.
But if they did, you'd definitely win the silver.
Or a bronze.
- Not gold.
- No.
Ah, it's nice and busy.
It's good.
Hi.
Good afternoon and welcome to Le Cafe de les Alans this afternoon.
Can I recommend for yourselves this afternoon tryin' our special of the day, eggs Benedict made by our brand new chef.
New chef? Who's that then? Michael? What are you doing here? Well, they're a bit short-handed.
Literally, in Alan's case.
Came in for a sandwich, and I got roped in to help.
Well, look at you, Master Chef.
Oh! Service! Table five, out.
Right you are.
That man is a lifesaver.
I felt a bit bad missing out on the opening, it's the least I could do.
You're staring at me.
That could either be very good or very bad.
That is so lovely of you.
Thank you.
You can thank me later.
Oh, talking of later, you're still all right to help out with Zoe's thing? Yeah, of course, just a sec.
Service! Sorry about that.
- I'll leave you to it.
- Nadine, salad.
Dai Davies International Car Sales.
Number one for car sales in Pontyberry.
- Thank you, sir.
Thank you, madam.
- Thank you.
Dai Davies International Car Sales.
Brilliant.
That is cocking brilliant.
But I have no money.
Well, I think an executive saloon car might be slightly out of your budget.
No, I meant for comic relief.
That's why you're dressed like a cocking knob, is it? Perhaps it is a bit tight.
Yes.
You said it was perfect before.
Susan, if we're going to work together, you have to tell me the truth.
A man in my position can't afford to look ridiculous.
Thank you so much.
I just couldn't have coped without you.
And it's not just staff we're short of It's money.
We're really short on money.
Money is so tight at the moment Alan, I don't want paying.
It's fine.
That's a load off.
It was actually quite fun.
Really? Beer? - On the house.
- Why not? Yeah.
Do you mind if I give you some advice? - Is it free? - Yes.
Keeping your hand elevated is for cuts, not burns.
Yeah, I knew that.
Just a precautionary thing, that was, for Sure.
Cheers.
You know This really is a dream come true for me.
Teething problems of course, but I wouldn't swap it for the world.
You always wanted to go into soliciting then? Into law, yeah.
Wouldn't call it a dream though.
- Huh? So what's the dream? - I don't know.
When I was younger, I wanted to ride across America on a bike.
Easy Rider kind of thing.
- You ought to go see Big Guin.
- Who's Guin? Mate of mine, got a bike shop.
Harleys, Triumphs, the lot.
We call him "Big Guin" 'cause he's 4'10".
Uses his little stool to get up on the bikes, but Yeah, just say my name, he'll give you 10% off.
Don't mention the stool, though, he gets quite funny about that.
I don't actually want a bike.
Not now.
And even if I did No, stupid.
Al, you really don't have to Yeah, of course.
Next item on the agenda, Brenda's Buses.
Now I'm solo, now I want out of the box, blue-sky thinking about taking it to the next level.
- What do you think? - I think that's a good idea.
I mean, what suggestions do you have? Right.
What's the first thing that comes into your head? - Finger? - Next thing? A fudge.
How about changing the name of the company from Brenda's Buses to, er, - Dai Davies' Buses? - Yes.
Actually, that's a terrible idea.
Yes.
You're not just agreeing with everything I say, are you? - No.
- So if I was to say passengers can travel free at weekends, you'd say that was a goo Good idea? - Way to go bust.
- Yes.
Absolutely.
What do you think? I think you're on a bike.
It's not just a bike, a Triumph Bonneville.
Bit of an impulse buy, but I thought, "Sod it, you only live once.
" I thought you were in the cafe.
Well, things died down a bit, so I left, and I was on my way back Well, I had such a laugh today and it was so, I don't know, liberating, I bought the bike to celebrate.
Right.
Gonna dig out my leathers.
Michael Is this another "hole in the wall" moment? No.
I don't think so.
"I can't sleep.
" "I can't rest" - Are you inebriated? - "You're so gorgeous without a vest.
" "Your hair is short, but not like a boy.
" "I'd like to have you as a toy.
" I could have you sectioned.
They'd have you sedated quicker than you can say "lithium suppository".
Come on, Cheryl, man, give me a chance.
You know what you are? You're a stuck-up cow! Look at you With your face all miserable and your moaning bloody voice.
Couple of glasses of this punch and they'll wanna buy everything, you watch.
Dad, what do you look like? The Fonz.
- Yeah.
- Do you even know who "The Fonz" is? One of the Muppets, ain't he? - Light these candles up nice and - Wow.
See you in a bit.
- You're not going out, are you? - I won't be long.
Just gonna take it for a quick spin.
Michael Do you have to do this now? You don't need me, do you? No.
But this is really important to Zoe.
I'm going for a quick ride, people aren't even here yet.
Go on, let him play with his toy.
All right.
Thanks, Mum.
First up, is something nobody should be without.
It's the revolutionary Chin-gym.
Ideal for the busy executive woman with a chin.
- Will it fit donkeys? - Uh, no.
I wanna get one of them gloves with a beer can in them.
Bloody genius! Don't think I got one of those.
But I have got an electric shoe freshener.
Oh, is that suitable for donkeys? To be honest, I I don't think there's much stuff that's specifically for donkeys.
I'll tell you what, um, why don't we all just have a little look and see what takes our fancy, is it? Yeah.
Punch.
And help yourself to more rum punch.
Hello, Casanova, how'd it go? Oh, the horror.
The horror.
What actually happened? You don't wanna know.
I'll wash, but I'll never be clean.
Oh, speaking of clean, do you want a waterproof shower radio in the shape of a shark? Will it take away the pain? - Definitely.
- All right.
Zoe, customer coming through.
All right, Dai? Thanks for coming.
Oh, you know me, always keen to support new business ventures.
Especially now you're a millionaire.
Bet that cash is burning a hole in your pocket.
No, not really.
I'm just here to browse.
- That's actually - Ear wax remover, I got two of them.
Is, er, Aunty Brenda coming? Hey, Mr Lawyer.
Beyonce? Nice outfit.
I know, The Fonz.
Never mind.
Makes you look - younger.
- Really? Is that an insult or a compliment? You decide.
That is brilliant.
- Right, I want me one.
- Thank you.
Oh, splendid.
Yes, I very much agree.
Yes, of course it will be the top table.
Just a little fundraiser I'm putting together.
Yes, that's settled.
And thanks for being the celebrity guest.
Goodbye, then, Cilla Black.
- I'm impressed.
- Well, I like to do my bit.
I mean, it's quite hard to talk on a Bluetooth when it's not switched on.
Battery must have just run out.
You wouldn't understand.
Anyway, Dai Davies, how's business with you? Oh, flat-out 24/7.
I only left this morning.
I lost all track of time, it's been that productive.
Well, as you're so busy, you best get back to it.
Where've you been? Sorry, must have lost track of time.
I've been worried about you, I thought you crashed or something.
Just enjoying the freedom.
Of the bike.
I should have called.
Yeah, you should.
Hey, Stell.
Stell, this is immense.
I bought three.
- That's really beautiful, Karl.
- Mmm.
I'll go and get changed.
You want a go? Look, er, we both said some things today that we probably regret.
I don't regret a thing.
This has been the best day of my life.
But it's not too late.
I'm willing to say I'm sorry if you are.
Things not working out with Susan, are they? I'm only thinking of you.
I know you love Brenda's Buses.
And what else are you going to do with your days? What else am I going to do? Let's be honest, you're going to sit around, bored out of your brains, staring at the wall, wishing you had someone to take notice of you.
Why don't we bury the hatchet and apologise, hmm? Come on.
On three we'll say "I'm sorry".
One, two, three I'm sorry.
And I'm sorry.
Apology accepted.
But you're a pompous little squirrel with ridiculous teeth.
This is the ultimate mission spy pen.
You say your message into here.
Okay, yay! Okay, yay! Then you play it back.
Okay, yay! Okay, yay! And then it disappears.
- Message deleted.
- Ah, stunning.
So, it only plays the message once, see.
Yeah.
Brilliant.
- One for you, Nadine? - No.
Right, who wants a drink? Michael's mojitos.
Special recipe.
Bring it on, bud.
That fellow of yours is a bloody hero, you know.
So you keep telling me.
A natural, like Little Alan.
It's gonna be great having him around the next couple of weeks.
- Helping out.
- A couple of weeks? - I thought it was a one-off.
- No, no.
Just till my hand gets better, two weeks, three at the most.
Call it a month.
- We're off now, Stell.
- Thanks a lot.
Right.
- Best get 'em mojitos before they go.
- Bye, then.
Yeah, I'll see you out.
Dai Davies, I am sorry.
Message deleted.
So, I spoke to Alan.
He said you were brilliant today.
That's telling, because I was.
And that you're going to be working at the cafe for the next few weeks.
- Yeah, um, about that - Look.
I love Alan to death, and I'd always help him out.
But you're a qualified solicitor.
Why'd you wanna work in a cafe in Pontyberry? Because it was fun, all right? I'm sorry, I don't wanna sound melodramatic, but it's the first time I've enjoyed myself for ages.
- Oh.
- I didn't mean it like that.
Work-wise.
I've been a lawyer for 20 years, and, I don't know, working in the cafe today made me realise how bored I am.
I just wanted a break from it.
The cafe's like a holiday.
- With Nadine.
- Well, we can't have everything.
- If you're worried about money - It's not the money, it's just - You all right, presh? - I'm fine.
Really.
So this is just for a couple of weeks, and then you'll go back to your proper job, is it? Yeah, of course.
I know I should have said something, and maybe it's a hangover from Jan, she never stopped nagging.
I guess I was just worried we'd end up having a row.
- Michael, I'm not Jan.
- I know.
You're much sexier.
Shall I get the leather jacket? - Go on then.
- Pervert.
Pack yourself and get out! You're sacked! What? You hate me now, don't you? I assure you I don't.
Let's see what else I can find, is it? So what about you then, gorgeous? - Any confessions? - What? No.
Nothing.