The West Wing s04e02 Episode Script
20 Hours in America (2)
-Previously on The West Wing: - Excuse me.
Where's the motorcade? It's out there.
Hey! I'm with Toby and Donna, and we are stranded somewhere in Indiana.
- Bummer.
- This is fun.
We're roughing it.
Sir? When do you think you'll interview to replace Mrs.
Landingham? - I haven't gotten to it.
- The office would set the meetings.
- I was fired from the White House.
- I know you were.
I need you to staff the president.
He's got one of those days.
I don't know what it is you do in there.
Simon was a Big Brother to a kid named Anthony Marcus.
And if a White House staffer will play a role Are you asking people who look like me? - Because a Big Brother's a Big Brother - Sam's next.
First guy to miss, for the rest of the day when he says his name, has to follow it with,"I work at the White House.
" Most people weren't the smartest kid.
Most people didn't like the smartest kid.
- Yeah? - No kidding, it feels good out here.
-What are you doing? - The quick-sheet briefing.
-What? - Nothing.
- Leo.
- Qumar's reopened the investigation.
And that ends this day of trading, the Dow dropping 685 points the seventh largest percentage drop in history and the largest point total ever.
The news hit before the opening bell when the Gehrman-Driscoll Fund the largest hedge fund in the U.
S.
, filed for bankruptcy.
Yeah, it's a proud day for Alfred Nobel.
- Mr.
President? - When do you think I say something? If Japan doesn't step up.
- Tell me again? - Keith.
Muriel Keith.
- Mr.
Keith.
- Mr.
President.
I told my granddaughter I was meeting you and I asked what question to ask you, and she said to ask you of the presidents you met, who was your favorite, and I told her it was me.
No, no.
Mr.
Truman.
- He was a good man.
- Okay.
Well, I was just kidding, but sure, Truman, if you like that kind of thing.
Gentlemen, I'll be ready in just one minute.
I'm sorry.
How old were you when you met President Hoover? Nine years old.
It was my birthday.
It was October the 23rd, 1929.
- The 23rd? - Yes, sir.
- Is there something unusual about that? - No, no.
It's just, you met him, and the next day, the Great Depression started.
- Yes, sir.
- Okay.
Stock market took a stumble today.
You know, we'll call it, well a little bigger than a prerally decline.
If you watch the news, or read a newspaper or are alive in any way, you'll hear about it in a couple hours.
I'm not worried because Tokyo opens at 7 p.
m.
Eastern and Tokyo will be my mother's milk tonight.
It's in the bag.
Okay, gentlemen, right this way.
On the count of three.
One - No.
- I'm sorry? I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Could I just have one second? Charlie? - How you doing? - Fine, thank you.
There's science in economics, but like a lot of things a lot depends on the user.
I need the Nikkei Index to do what I need it to do tonight and I've got Hoover's good-luck charm over here.
But now, while I'm talking about it, I feel like it's ridiculous that someone like me would cancel a photo-op.
- I can't believe it, sir.
- I'm not.
It's momentary.
- No, I can't believe you're doing it.
- Really? Tokyo opens in three hours and your arm is around the mayor of shantytown? - I didn't know you were superstitious.
- I'm not.
There are tribes in South America that don't think photographs are good.
- Yeah.
- You ever see any pictures on my desk? - No.
- You ever wonder why? Charlie, just out of curiosity, in your mind how much time do I spend thinking about your desk? - Fair point, sir.
- How long have we been talking now? - A couple of minutes.
- Okay, let's not tell anybody that.
Yeah.
Mr.
Keith I'm sorry, we have to reschedule for tomorrow.
Oh, why? - You spooked the president.
- Scheduling.
- I'm - I'll explain it.
Thank you.
- Sam? - Yeah? What you doing on the floor? I don't know, I think it was just the closest thing.
Come on, you'll get your pants all schmutzy.
- The first lady's not a lesbian, is she? - I can ask her.
- Why were there rolling pins? - Brenda Swetland: "At this moment, you're not licensed to practice medicine?" A.
Bartlet:"At this moment, I'm just a wife and mother.
" - I don't see it.
- Well, you gotta want it.
Oh.
I see it.
- Yeah.
- What are we doing? I wanted to issue a statement saying, "You're annoying, shut up.
" - Bruno said to wave at it and he's right.
- Yeah.
Listen I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now but I wanna get Anthony a Big Brother and Charlie said no and I thought if you were interested I could talk to you about it.
It's an hour a week.
He doesn't have anybody, and he hasn't gotten over Simon.
You asked Charlie first? - There's no way you have time for this.
- I might.
- You don't.
- Ginger! - You just worked 48 hours.
- Yeah? And that was the weekend.
Maybe he'd enjoy sitting and watching me work.
I could narrate what I was doing for him: "Right now I'm reading intelligence on Central America as it relates, believe it or not, to textile imports.
" Intelligence, 007.
See, and right away I've got him going with 007.
I'm sitting here listening, already I've turned to a life of crime.
- You know I'd do it if I could.
- I do know that, schmutzy pants.
- That'll be around for a while? - Josh is on the phone.
Thanks.
- Hey.
-How's it going? - Fine, so far.
- Just Bryce, right? Yeah.
Let me ask you something.
He said that Commerce didn't have input on the stump speech and I started to say it was my fault, and the president ran me over.
Yeah, he doesn't like the appearance that his staff is covering for him.
It genuinely wasn't his fault.
Nothing's not his fault in the Oval Office.
- Got it.
-Anything else before we get on a train? - Could you put Toby on? Yeah.
Toby, Sam.
- Was Bryce pissed? - Yeah.
Listen with the secretarial candidates, the last few weeks Charlie says he's been asking questions about remembering names and numbers.
He's worrying about short-term memory loss? One of the effects -Yeah.
- Okay.
Anything else? - Come home.
- We're on our way.
"Don't worry, I'll have Jews for the money stuff.
" You have an inadvertent habit of putting down my Judaism by implying that you have a sharper anti-Semitism meter than I do.
The ancient Hebrews had a word for Jews from Westport.
They pronounced it"Presbyterian.
" And by saying things like that.
I'm just saying I'm from Brighton Beach.
Mohammed al Mohammed el Mohammed bin Bizir doesn't make the distinction when he suits up in the morning.
As long as you have a grasp of the complexity of that.
What the hell are the two of you talking about? I assure you neither one of us knows.
All aboard! Tyler? - Assure me there'll be no trouble.
- There'll be no trouble.
- The train runs on regular train fuel? - I'm pretty sure.
You guys don't have an international dateline in Bloomington or anything? - No.
- In that case on behalf of Bartlet for America and the Democratic Party I want to thank you, say that you're a good guy, and good luck to you.
- Thanks.
- I'll go find seats.
- Take it easy.
- Mr.
Lyman? Mr.
Ziegler? Call me Josh.
Toby.
I work at the White House.
Yeah.
Can I tell you something? People will think you're cooler if you don't say that yourself, but rather let them find out on their own.
Okay.
The engineer knows the route? Josh, Toby on my girlfriend's life, your troubles end 98 miles right down that track.
- Nancy.
- Leo.
Yeoman Fitzwallace.
- Dr.
McNally.
- Let's attack.
- Who? - Qumar.
- Let's recommend that we attack.
- Why? - I've had it.
- I don't think the UN will let us do it for that reason.
- You're a sissy.
You want peace in the Middle East? Give me a pair of ICBMs and a compass.
You got B-2 Spirit stealth bombers over Qumar now as if the Qumari Air Defense System requires stealth.
Just fly in at night! While you're at it, order the USS Louisiana to fire off a D-5 Trident to see if it works.
What's the worst that could happen? - Is she talking to me? - Yes! Well, 98 percent of all living organisms within a seven-mile radius would die instantly in a torrent of fire.
Admiral Sissymary.
- We're running out of options.
- What's happened? There's intel that says Qumar has a tape.
- Of what? - A cell phone call that Shareef made from the plane.
- There isn't.
We disabled the phones, we monitored communication from the plane we bugged Shareef and we replaced his cell phone battery with a dummy.
There's no tape, there was no phone call.
Why are they saying there is? To provoke a response, right? And they're using the Act 5 scene from Hamlet? Are these Batman villains? They're building a case, but I think there's something worse than Qumar saying it was us.
- She's right.
- What? Qumar saying it was someone else.
You can't say"faith-based" initiatives, you have to be more specific than that.
Mr.
President, in my state, the only ones keeping kids in school and off drugs are the churches, and the synagogues, and the mosques.
They have terrific programs, and until we find a better one, let me fund those.
- We'll talk about it, but I wouldn't - Yes, sir.
- Okay.
- Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
How are the interviews going? I met with two women this morning, I'm meeting another in a bit.
- Are either of the women possibilities? - No.
- Why? - The first one isn't easily impressed.
- Why do you say that? - She told me.
- Second one wasn't funny.
- Wasn't funny.
- Or rather, didn't think I was.
- You told a joke? She was the secretary to an ambassador to France.
I told her that I'd had dinner with D'Astier at the Elysée Palace she gently corrected me then, calling it the Palais de I'Elysée.
For that alone, I wanted to send for a parachute.
And I made a joke to D'Astier having to do with cheese and I said he was visibly insulted and was reconsidering my diplomatic status.
- And she said,"Well, did he?" - She didn't get you were joking.
- It didn't bode well for me.
- Who's this afternoon? Crazy woman that Charlie knows.
Hey, do we have a GPS readout on Josh and Toby? Have they been sighted? I talked to them.
They're on their way.
Three hundred IQ points, they can't get home.
I swear to God, if Donna wasn't there, they'd have to buy a house.
"You have to keep a lot of names and numbers in your head.
Can you?" -"Oh, I should think so.
" -"Oh, should you?" "Well, I'm gonna interview a few more people and in the meantime you can get back on the cover of The New Yorker.
" Was that"unimpressed one" or"humorless"? A third one.
Charlie says I don't want anyone to replace her.
- Is that true? - I don't know, Sam.
- I'm a puzzle.
- Yes, sir.
All right, I've got a plan.
We'll switch trains in Bedford, we will then be going in the right direction.
We're not gonna make the 6: 15.
That was a pipe dream.
That was folly.
A 9:30 leaves Indianapolis International with a 45-minute layover in Chicago but it could be delayed due to bad weather.
- What are the chances? - Well, the guy in the diner said the TV picture was fuzzy - No, no! Quaint is quaint, but we're not Navajo Indian guides and if we want information, we'll call the White House.
Well, we can do that when we get to a pay phone, but we can't right now.
- Why not? - Because my cell phone battery's out.
- Battery's out.
I need information.
I need to know what's happening.
- I have no idea what's happening.
- I bought you the paper.
I read it! Preparations are underway for the fair.
I'm briefed.
Organizers say it'll be the best one yet.
- What else you got? - Frivolous law firms.
- What? - He meant to say,"frivolous lawsuits.
" He said,"frivolous law firms.
" - Who? - Benjamin Disraeli.
- He misspeaks.
- Yes, he does.
He also thinks Sarajevo and Bosnia are two different countries so that's a bit of a setback for the region.
"Chamberlain led England in World War II.
" I don't mind if he doesn't know history, I mind that he hasn't seen a movie.
-"Mexico is part of NATO.
" - He meant they were an ally.
They lob a chalupa at the Warsaw Pact? Not impressive, but as you pointed out, he's gonna be surrounded Do you think he's disagreed with his advisers? Do you think, honestly, he's ever said to one of his advisers: "I've got a different idea"? I don't care if he thinks Luxembourg is an uptown stop on the IRT or the Greco-Roman wrestling matches with the language not that communication skills are important in this job.
What I care about is, when asked if he'd continue the U.
S.
policy in China he said,"First off, I'm gonna send them a message: Meet an American leader.
" I don't know what that means, but everybody cheered.
Which is one reason I work for his opponent.
I don't know what made you think I had to be convinced, but I wanna win.
You wanna beat him.
And that's a problem for me because I wanna win.
Can I get approval of my travel plan? Yeah.
"A rising tide sinks all boats.
" - Can I ask what he did for a year? - What do you mean? He's been without a secretary for a year.
He has five secretaries.
Four funnel their work through the executive secretary.
- He has five secretaries? - Two research secretaries a social secretary and a scheduler, who has an assistant to keep the book.
- What's"the book"? - The daily diary.
An accounting of what the president did that day.
" 10:25: Placed a phone call to the Fed chair.
" - What about private stuff? - We've got euphemisms.
There'll be a fluke cancellation, some kind of gap in the president's schedule and the president and first lady might slip over - For a matinee? - Yeah.
- What do you call it? - Barbecuing.
Okay.
The payment and settlement systems worked fine.
Dow's price earnings is around 35.
The historical average is 18.
This isn't a crisis, it's investors getting back to common sense.
It's an election year, Bill.
We'd rather people didn't exercise common sense but I agree with what you're saying.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
- Sir? - Yes? Deborah Fiderer.
- Really? - Yes, sir.
All right.
- Mr.
President.
- Hi.
- Debbie? - Hello.
- You two know each other? - Debbie worked for Donald McKittridge.
She's very interesting.
Her résumé's impressive.
I remember thinking she was efficient and creative.
She found Charlie.
I remember people talked about her a lot, they found her pretty strange.
But I remember I didn't find her that strange.
- You know I can hear you, right? - I'm in your corner.
- You're the alpaca farmer.
- It was something I tried for a while.
- You hired Charlie, huh? - I worked in Presidential Personnel and he'd come into the wrong office.
He'd been called about a messenger job.
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah.
We started talking.
It doesn't take long to see he's special, so I sent him to Josh Lyman.
- Well, thanks for that.
- Yes, sir.
Who was second? Who did I almost get? - Sir? - I like to think about the road not taken.
- You're testing my memory.
- Yeah.
- A young man named David Dweck.
- David Dweck? I used to call him,"David Dweck, want a dwink of wa wa?" Until I realized that wasn't really funny.
- Excuse me, Mr.
President, you wanted - Yeah.
Hong Kong's down four percent, but it's still over 10,000 it's too early to tell anything.
The Nikkei's down two percent the dollar's down.
3 percent against the yen, .
4 percent against the euro.
- Frankfurt opens in eight hours.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
Sorry.
- Why were you fired? - I'm sorry? Why were you fired? - No particular reason.
- That doesn't sound quite right.
- No? - Why were you fired? - Is it relevant? - Only because you're asking for a job.
- Chronic lateness.
- I don't believe you.
- It's true.
- No, it's not.
- You call me a liar to my face? - Yes.
- Okay.
- Charlie said it was because of him.
- He did? - He said you hired him, and that's why.
- Charlie lies.
- No, he doesn't.
He's a bad seed.
I knew it the moment I saw him.
I'm now ordering you to tell me why you were fired.
I'm afraid we're at a classic impasse, Mr.
President.
You were strange when I met you, and you're strange now.
Hey, when you met me there was a good reason.
- What? - I was high.
- Okay.
- This time it's just me.
- Tell me why you were fired.
- No, sir.
I'll figure it out anyway.
What I lack in memory I make up for with exceptional powers of deductive reasoning.
- That come with tights and a cape? - I think the interview's over.
Yeah.
But let's do this every once in a while.
Thank you very much.
Debbie? - Mr.
McKittridge.
- What are you doing here? - I was - I brought her in.
- Charlie.
How many? - Hang on.
- I know, but I brought her in.
- Doesn't matter It does matter.
There's a way it works.
Brian Dweck! CFO of Colfax, and contributor to Representative Mark McKittridge whose brother is the Director of the Office of Presidential Personnel wants a job for his son, David.
"Wants a dwink of wa wa.
" My powers of deduction are not to be mocked.
Mr.
President, I assure you, whatever she told you She didn't tell me anything.
I ordered her By the way, my powers of ordering are a joke.
I can create an agency, but I can't get her She didn't give you up.
She She didn't give you up.
Was she funny? Have the agents stop her at the door for a second.
- Debbie.
- Yes, sir? - Where's the dollar? - I'm sorry, sir? - What's the dollar doing right now? - It's down.
3 percent against the yen point-four percent against the euro.
- Mr.
President, the first lady is back.
- Bring her on.
The president's on the podium at 8: 15? Probably more like 8:30, and he's gonna speak for 15 minutes.
Any comment on the CBO deficit numbers? Last OMB was 11 billion off, CBO missed by 25 billion there'll be a deficit, but the CBO numbers are off.
Katie? - Legislative Appropriations? - He can't say until he sees the bill.
All right, that's a full lid, I'll see you all over there.
Thank you.
Hang on a second.
Okay, today at 5:32 p.
m.
Central Savings Time two pipe bombs were set off inside the Geiger Indoor Arena which is the swimming team's facility at Kennison State University the Kennison Hawkeyes.
The women's team was hosting a match A meet with Illinois, Michigan and Minnesota, they're all Big Ten schools.
Forty-four people are dead it looks like about a hundred injured, about 20 critically.
- C.
J.
! - I'm gonna have to listen in while I talk to you.
Barry, then Sydney, then Fran.
I didn't say I wasn't going, I said I could live without it.
- It sounded like you weren't going.
- I forgot about it is all.
- Did you have other plans? - As a matter of fact, I did.
- I was planning a quiet night.
- Watching your cooking show.
It's not just a cooking show, all right? It's very relaxing.
- The woman is sublime.
- If you ask me, it's soft porn.
No one needs to massage oil into a leg of lamb that much.
- On top of which - Hold on.
Why is she still on? the information that they were pipe bombs is coming from We're getting both campus information and Cedar Rapids Police and Fire but I don 't know any more details on the type of pipe bombs or the damage they can cause.
- Find out what happened.
None of that has been confirmed.
Emergency squads are still on the scene treating the minor injuries.
Witnesses say there were swimmers in the water at the time of the explosion.
I don 't think there's been much discussion about motives or suspects.
- I don't understand the two of you.
- We had to get out.
- He can't read in a moving car.
- You can't read in a moving car, he can.
He was reading to us.
I need it to come in through my eyes.
You couldn't wait three blocks? Six hundred and eighty-five points? Did it say how much the percentage drop was? It did, but by the time I got there my newspaper no longer had the molecular structure of a newspaper.
- Yes, may I help you? - Yes, please.
We need a room.
- Is that two rooms? - No, just the one for - What did we decide, half an hour? - Our flight Our flight was delayed and we're just looking for someplace to dry off and watch the news.
Let me see what I've got.
If the Nikkei hasn't reacted Securing peace in a time of global conflict sustaining hope in this winter of anxiety and fear.
More than any time in recent history, America's destiny is not of our choosing.
We did not seek, nor did we provoke, an assault on our freedom and our way of life.
We did not expect nor did we invite, a confrontation with evil.
Yet the measure of a people's strength is how they rise to master that moment when it does arrive.
Forty-four people were killed a couple of hours ago at Kennison State University.
Three swimmers from the men's team were killed, two are in critical condition.
Hearing the explosion from their practice facility they ran into the fire to help get people out.
Ran into the fire.
The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight.
They're our students and our teachers and our parents and our friends.
The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels but when we think we've measured our capacity to meet a challenge we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless.
This is a time for American heroes.
We will do what is hard.
We will achieve what is great.
This is a time for American heroes, and we reach for the stars.
God bless their memory.
God bless you.
And God bless the United States of America.
Thank you.
When did you write that last part? In the car.
Freak.
Anthony, I'm so sorry.
Thank you for waiting.
This thing came up at the last minute.
A bomb at a swimming meet.
You probably I can take you home now.
You probably saw it here on the television sets.
You know I really miss Simon too.
That's probably something we can talk about.
I asked around today, I didn't find anyone but I'm not done, there are more people I'm asking tomorrow.
I'll take you home now.
- I don't need a babysitter.
- I'm sorry? I said, I don't need a babysitter, bitch.
Are you deaf? Well, I don't think you need a babysitter, I - What's the matter with you? - This is Miss Cregg, press secretary and senior counselor to the president.
If she wasn't, she's still Miss Cregg.
I don't mind you not respecting people, I mind your doing it out loud.
I mind your doing it in here.
You wanna be a punk, fine, but I don't think you've got the size.
You wanna go to juvie, get out, deal and kill cops, okay but every time you do a crime, you get caught.
So I think you're gonna have to do something else.
Nine o'clock on Saturday mornings I eat breakfast at Cosmos on Delaware.
I come here to do office work, then go to St.
Jude's to play basketball.
You can go to juvie or you can be at Cosmos 9:00 on Saturday morning.
It's entirely up to you.
Schmutzy pants.
I know that voice.
- I was at the dinner.
- I didn't see you.
- Nice job on the speech.
- What makes you think I wrote it? "We did not seek, nor did we provoke.
We did not expect, nor did we invite"? - A little thing called cadence.
- It works for you.
- How's New York? - Richard got traded to the Blackhawks.
- For a Zamboni battery? - And Garnier and a first-round draft pick.
So you're moving to Chicago.
Richard and I split.
That is terrible.
That is the worst thing.
I am so sorry.
I liked him too.
His brooding stare in the penalty box.
- If there is anything I can do.
- Shut up.
- Okay.
- I came by to say hi.
- I came by to tell you I liked the speech.
- Thank you.
My dad said you staffed the president today.
- Yes.
- How was it? You know anything about chaos theory? I know it has to do with fractal geometry.
That's about all I know too.
But it has to do with there being order and even great beauty, in what looks like total chaos.
Then if we look closely enough at the randomness around us patterns will start to emerge.
I love Josh like a brother.
And he's a world-class political mind.
But until today, I didn't know he was smarter than I was and I've worked here three years and eight months.
And until you sit in the room all day you can't comprehend the chaos of the Oval Office.
I had a good moment, talking about the ripple effect of a deficit, but that was it.
The rest of the day was just keeping up.
- And this was a pretty light day.
- One good moment is good.
I'm not complaining, I'm saying, one good moment is great.
It's a golf shot.
I gotta get back in there.
That's where it's happening.
You came by just to tell me you liked the speech? "This is a time for American heroes, and we reach for the stars"? I'm weak.
Yeah, I think I stole that from Camelot.
Let me get you home, you're not gonna make it.
Yeah.
I don't think I'm gonna make it either.
-Camelot? - Good writers borrow from other writers.
Great writers steal from them outright.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Take it easy.
The picture's from Deanna, I just put it in a frame.
I've had it in my office for a week, I keep forgetting to give it to you.
Thanks.
It's nice.
- Have a good night.
- Good night.
- Campaigns aren't about the candidates.
- No? How about the voters? How are we gonna create jobs? How are we gonna fix health care? Or make the lights go on? - Or protect ourselves? - Do you ask if the plumber knows which direction the pipes run? Don't you? Forget the plumber.
Don't we want leadership to sound and feel like, instead of appealing to our least expensive however legitimate, desire to feel good about ourselves? Don't we want? - All right, that's it.
I can't take it.
- He started it.
I'm not kidding.
I have such an impulse to knock your heads together.
I can't remember the last time I heard you two talk about anything other than how a campaign was playing in Washington.
Cathy took a second job so her dad could be covered by insurance.
She told you how bad things were for farmers, you told her we lost Indiana.
You made fun of the fair, but you didn't see they have livestock exhibitions and give prizes for the biggest tomato and the best heirloom apple.
They're proud of what they grow.
Eight modes of transportation, the kindness of six strangers conversations with 12 more, and none brought up Bartlet vs.
Ritchie but you.
I'm writing letters on your behalf to the parents of the kids who died.
Can I have the table, please? Flight's delayed? Yeah.
Me too.
I'm going to St.
Louis.
Washington.
I'm with my daughter.
She's up Upstairs in the room.
But we were out here looking at Notre Dame.
- Yeah? - Got kids? No.
Wait'll you take your oldest to look at colleges.
It's an incredible feeling.
You wish they'd go to college across the street from your house, but you know Jack Daniel's, rocks.
My boss went to Notre Dame.
Beautiful campus.
I've never seen anything like it.
She's not gonna get to sleep tonight.
You see what happened to the market today? Yeah, I saw.
You invested? Mutual fund that's supposed to send her to college.
I never imagined at 55,000 a year, I'd have trouble making ends meet.
And my wife brings in another 25.
My son's in public school.
It's no good.
There's 37 kids in the class no art and music, no advanced-placement classes.
Other kids, their mother has to make them practice the piano.
You can't pull my son away from the piano.
He needs teachers.
And I spend half the day thinking about what happens if I slip and fall down on my own front porch, you know? It should be hard.
I like that it's hard.
Putting your daughter through college, that's a man's job.
Man's accomplishment.
But it should be a little easier.
Just a little easier.
Because in that difference is everything.
I'm sorry, I'm I'm Matt Kelley.
I'm Toby Ziegler.
I work at the White House.
You have a minute to talk? We'd like to buy you a beer.
Okay.
- Morning, Mr.
President.
- Good morning, sir.
The happy, fun group.
We have reason to believe that in the next 48 hours the Qumari rescue team will announce they've recovered a military-issue Israeli-made parachute.
- They're just allowed to make things up? As long as we won't step up and say it was us, they do.
- They know it was us, right? - Yeah.
- Is that what you think we should do? - Me? No, I don't.
I am, however, beginning to lean towards reducing our nuclear arsenal one at a time, if you know what I mean, sir.
- What about you? - Well, I'm with Dr.
Strangelove on keeping our military secrets secret, but Nancy and Leo and I think there's a third option, which is to say it was us, but insulate you.
I signed a piece of paper, Fitz.
We can get around that.
You just hated my living guts when I got this job, didn't you? - No, sir.
- Yeah, you did.
I didn't know anything and had no respect for the chiefs.
You became my counselor, and brought the chiefs to me.
- You got the chiefs, they respect you.
- You brought them to me.
And you talked Leo into Shareef, and he talked me into it.
It was my order and you executed it flawlessly, and I stand by it.
I stand by you, I stand by you all.
I stand by it till I die.
Plus, I'm gonna need some cellmates in Holland.
- So, what do we do now? - We're in the Situation Room.
Let's go.
We could have gone to the nearest Chinese restaurant picked up some Kikkoman and put it in that soy diesel thing.
I don't think it works like that.
Plus, how close do you think the nearest Chinese restaurant was? Well, we should start making cars that run on ketchup.
When I get home I'm taking the longest hot bath of my life.
Excuse me, would you mind letting me off up there at the bridge? - You sure? - Yeah.
I can walk to work from there.
- Yeah, I'll hop out there too.
- Please, not this again.
- You did the number back at the bar.
- It didn't have to do with eliminating modern conveniences.
- She can drop you off at home.
I'll get out with them up here.
If our job teaches us anything it's that we don't know what the next president's gonna face.
If we choose someone with vision, someone with guts someone with gravitas who's connected to other people's lives and cares about making them better if we choose someone to inspire us then we'll be able to face what comes our way and achieve things we can't imagine yet.
Instead of telling people who's the most qualified instead of telling people who's got the better ideas, let's make it obvious.
It's gonna be hard.
Then we'll do what's hard.
Where's the motorcade? It's out there.
Hey! I'm with Toby and Donna, and we are stranded somewhere in Indiana.
- Bummer.
- This is fun.
We're roughing it.
Sir? When do you think you'll interview to replace Mrs.
Landingham? - I haven't gotten to it.
- The office would set the meetings.
- I was fired from the White House.
- I know you were.
I need you to staff the president.
He's got one of those days.
I don't know what it is you do in there.
Simon was a Big Brother to a kid named Anthony Marcus.
And if a White House staffer will play a role Are you asking people who look like me? - Because a Big Brother's a Big Brother - Sam's next.
First guy to miss, for the rest of the day when he says his name, has to follow it with,"I work at the White House.
" Most people weren't the smartest kid.
Most people didn't like the smartest kid.
- Yeah? - No kidding, it feels good out here.
-What are you doing? - The quick-sheet briefing.
-What? - Nothing.
- Leo.
- Qumar's reopened the investigation.
And that ends this day of trading, the Dow dropping 685 points the seventh largest percentage drop in history and the largest point total ever.
The news hit before the opening bell when the Gehrman-Driscoll Fund the largest hedge fund in the U.
S.
, filed for bankruptcy.
Yeah, it's a proud day for Alfred Nobel.
- Mr.
President? - When do you think I say something? If Japan doesn't step up.
- Tell me again? - Keith.
Muriel Keith.
- Mr.
Keith.
- Mr.
President.
I told my granddaughter I was meeting you and I asked what question to ask you, and she said to ask you of the presidents you met, who was your favorite, and I told her it was me.
No, no.
Mr.
Truman.
- He was a good man.
- Okay.
Well, I was just kidding, but sure, Truman, if you like that kind of thing.
Gentlemen, I'll be ready in just one minute.
I'm sorry.
How old were you when you met President Hoover? Nine years old.
It was my birthday.
It was October the 23rd, 1929.
- The 23rd? - Yes, sir.
- Is there something unusual about that? - No, no.
It's just, you met him, and the next day, the Great Depression started.
- Yes, sir.
- Okay.
Stock market took a stumble today.
You know, we'll call it, well a little bigger than a prerally decline.
If you watch the news, or read a newspaper or are alive in any way, you'll hear about it in a couple hours.
I'm not worried because Tokyo opens at 7 p.
m.
Eastern and Tokyo will be my mother's milk tonight.
It's in the bag.
Okay, gentlemen, right this way.
On the count of three.
One - No.
- I'm sorry? I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Could I just have one second? Charlie? - How you doing? - Fine, thank you.
There's science in economics, but like a lot of things a lot depends on the user.
I need the Nikkei Index to do what I need it to do tonight and I've got Hoover's good-luck charm over here.
But now, while I'm talking about it, I feel like it's ridiculous that someone like me would cancel a photo-op.
- I can't believe it, sir.
- I'm not.
It's momentary.
- No, I can't believe you're doing it.
- Really? Tokyo opens in three hours and your arm is around the mayor of shantytown? - I didn't know you were superstitious.
- I'm not.
There are tribes in South America that don't think photographs are good.
- Yeah.
- You ever see any pictures on my desk? - No.
- You ever wonder why? Charlie, just out of curiosity, in your mind how much time do I spend thinking about your desk? - Fair point, sir.
- How long have we been talking now? - A couple of minutes.
- Okay, let's not tell anybody that.
Yeah.
Mr.
Keith I'm sorry, we have to reschedule for tomorrow.
Oh, why? - You spooked the president.
- Scheduling.
- I'm - I'll explain it.
Thank you.
- Sam? - Yeah? What you doing on the floor? I don't know, I think it was just the closest thing.
Come on, you'll get your pants all schmutzy.
- The first lady's not a lesbian, is she? - I can ask her.
- Why were there rolling pins? - Brenda Swetland: "At this moment, you're not licensed to practice medicine?" A.
Bartlet:"At this moment, I'm just a wife and mother.
" - I don't see it.
- Well, you gotta want it.
Oh.
I see it.
- Yeah.
- What are we doing? I wanted to issue a statement saying, "You're annoying, shut up.
" - Bruno said to wave at it and he's right.
- Yeah.
Listen I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now but I wanna get Anthony a Big Brother and Charlie said no and I thought if you were interested I could talk to you about it.
It's an hour a week.
He doesn't have anybody, and he hasn't gotten over Simon.
You asked Charlie first? - There's no way you have time for this.
- I might.
- You don't.
- Ginger! - You just worked 48 hours.
- Yeah? And that was the weekend.
Maybe he'd enjoy sitting and watching me work.
I could narrate what I was doing for him: "Right now I'm reading intelligence on Central America as it relates, believe it or not, to textile imports.
" Intelligence, 007.
See, and right away I've got him going with 007.
I'm sitting here listening, already I've turned to a life of crime.
- You know I'd do it if I could.
- I do know that, schmutzy pants.
- That'll be around for a while? - Josh is on the phone.
Thanks.
- Hey.
-How's it going? - Fine, so far.
- Just Bryce, right? Yeah.
Let me ask you something.
He said that Commerce didn't have input on the stump speech and I started to say it was my fault, and the president ran me over.
Yeah, he doesn't like the appearance that his staff is covering for him.
It genuinely wasn't his fault.
Nothing's not his fault in the Oval Office.
- Got it.
-Anything else before we get on a train? - Could you put Toby on? Yeah.
Toby, Sam.
- Was Bryce pissed? - Yeah.
Listen with the secretarial candidates, the last few weeks Charlie says he's been asking questions about remembering names and numbers.
He's worrying about short-term memory loss? One of the effects -Yeah.
- Okay.
Anything else? - Come home.
- We're on our way.
"Don't worry, I'll have Jews for the money stuff.
" You have an inadvertent habit of putting down my Judaism by implying that you have a sharper anti-Semitism meter than I do.
The ancient Hebrews had a word for Jews from Westport.
They pronounced it"Presbyterian.
" And by saying things like that.
I'm just saying I'm from Brighton Beach.
Mohammed al Mohammed el Mohammed bin Bizir doesn't make the distinction when he suits up in the morning.
As long as you have a grasp of the complexity of that.
What the hell are the two of you talking about? I assure you neither one of us knows.
All aboard! Tyler? - Assure me there'll be no trouble.
- There'll be no trouble.
- The train runs on regular train fuel? - I'm pretty sure.
You guys don't have an international dateline in Bloomington or anything? - No.
- In that case on behalf of Bartlet for America and the Democratic Party I want to thank you, say that you're a good guy, and good luck to you.
- Thanks.
- I'll go find seats.
- Take it easy.
- Mr.
Lyman? Mr.
Ziegler? Call me Josh.
Toby.
I work at the White House.
Yeah.
Can I tell you something? People will think you're cooler if you don't say that yourself, but rather let them find out on their own.
Okay.
The engineer knows the route? Josh, Toby on my girlfriend's life, your troubles end 98 miles right down that track.
- Nancy.
- Leo.
Yeoman Fitzwallace.
- Dr.
McNally.
- Let's attack.
- Who? - Qumar.
- Let's recommend that we attack.
- Why? - I've had it.
- I don't think the UN will let us do it for that reason.
- You're a sissy.
You want peace in the Middle East? Give me a pair of ICBMs and a compass.
You got B-2 Spirit stealth bombers over Qumar now as if the Qumari Air Defense System requires stealth.
Just fly in at night! While you're at it, order the USS Louisiana to fire off a D-5 Trident to see if it works.
What's the worst that could happen? - Is she talking to me? - Yes! Well, 98 percent of all living organisms within a seven-mile radius would die instantly in a torrent of fire.
Admiral Sissymary.
- We're running out of options.
- What's happened? There's intel that says Qumar has a tape.
- Of what? - A cell phone call that Shareef made from the plane.
- There isn't.
We disabled the phones, we monitored communication from the plane we bugged Shareef and we replaced his cell phone battery with a dummy.
There's no tape, there was no phone call.
Why are they saying there is? To provoke a response, right? And they're using the Act 5 scene from Hamlet? Are these Batman villains? They're building a case, but I think there's something worse than Qumar saying it was us.
- She's right.
- What? Qumar saying it was someone else.
You can't say"faith-based" initiatives, you have to be more specific than that.
Mr.
President, in my state, the only ones keeping kids in school and off drugs are the churches, and the synagogues, and the mosques.
They have terrific programs, and until we find a better one, let me fund those.
- We'll talk about it, but I wouldn't - Yes, sir.
- Okay.
- Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
How are the interviews going? I met with two women this morning, I'm meeting another in a bit.
- Are either of the women possibilities? - No.
- Why? - The first one isn't easily impressed.
- Why do you say that? - She told me.
- Second one wasn't funny.
- Wasn't funny.
- Or rather, didn't think I was.
- You told a joke? She was the secretary to an ambassador to France.
I told her that I'd had dinner with D'Astier at the Elysée Palace she gently corrected me then, calling it the Palais de I'Elysée.
For that alone, I wanted to send for a parachute.
And I made a joke to D'Astier having to do with cheese and I said he was visibly insulted and was reconsidering my diplomatic status.
- And she said,"Well, did he?" - She didn't get you were joking.
- It didn't bode well for me.
- Who's this afternoon? Crazy woman that Charlie knows.
Hey, do we have a GPS readout on Josh and Toby? Have they been sighted? I talked to them.
They're on their way.
Three hundred IQ points, they can't get home.
I swear to God, if Donna wasn't there, they'd have to buy a house.
"You have to keep a lot of names and numbers in your head.
Can you?" -"Oh, I should think so.
" -"Oh, should you?" "Well, I'm gonna interview a few more people and in the meantime you can get back on the cover of The New Yorker.
" Was that"unimpressed one" or"humorless"? A third one.
Charlie says I don't want anyone to replace her.
- Is that true? - I don't know, Sam.
- I'm a puzzle.
- Yes, sir.
All right, I've got a plan.
We'll switch trains in Bedford, we will then be going in the right direction.
We're not gonna make the 6: 15.
That was a pipe dream.
That was folly.
A 9:30 leaves Indianapolis International with a 45-minute layover in Chicago but it could be delayed due to bad weather.
- What are the chances? - Well, the guy in the diner said the TV picture was fuzzy - No, no! Quaint is quaint, but we're not Navajo Indian guides and if we want information, we'll call the White House.
Well, we can do that when we get to a pay phone, but we can't right now.
- Why not? - Because my cell phone battery's out.
- Battery's out.
I need information.
I need to know what's happening.
- I have no idea what's happening.
- I bought you the paper.
I read it! Preparations are underway for the fair.
I'm briefed.
Organizers say it'll be the best one yet.
- What else you got? - Frivolous law firms.
- What? - He meant to say,"frivolous lawsuits.
" He said,"frivolous law firms.
" - Who? - Benjamin Disraeli.
- He misspeaks.
- Yes, he does.
He also thinks Sarajevo and Bosnia are two different countries so that's a bit of a setback for the region.
"Chamberlain led England in World War II.
" I don't mind if he doesn't know history, I mind that he hasn't seen a movie.
-"Mexico is part of NATO.
" - He meant they were an ally.
They lob a chalupa at the Warsaw Pact? Not impressive, but as you pointed out, he's gonna be surrounded Do you think he's disagreed with his advisers? Do you think, honestly, he's ever said to one of his advisers: "I've got a different idea"? I don't care if he thinks Luxembourg is an uptown stop on the IRT or the Greco-Roman wrestling matches with the language not that communication skills are important in this job.
What I care about is, when asked if he'd continue the U.
S.
policy in China he said,"First off, I'm gonna send them a message: Meet an American leader.
" I don't know what that means, but everybody cheered.
Which is one reason I work for his opponent.
I don't know what made you think I had to be convinced, but I wanna win.
You wanna beat him.
And that's a problem for me because I wanna win.
Can I get approval of my travel plan? Yeah.
"A rising tide sinks all boats.
" - Can I ask what he did for a year? - What do you mean? He's been without a secretary for a year.
He has five secretaries.
Four funnel their work through the executive secretary.
- He has five secretaries? - Two research secretaries a social secretary and a scheduler, who has an assistant to keep the book.
- What's"the book"? - The daily diary.
An accounting of what the president did that day.
" 10:25: Placed a phone call to the Fed chair.
" - What about private stuff? - We've got euphemisms.
There'll be a fluke cancellation, some kind of gap in the president's schedule and the president and first lady might slip over - For a matinee? - Yeah.
- What do you call it? - Barbecuing.
Okay.
The payment and settlement systems worked fine.
Dow's price earnings is around 35.
The historical average is 18.
This isn't a crisis, it's investors getting back to common sense.
It's an election year, Bill.
We'd rather people didn't exercise common sense but I agree with what you're saying.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
- Sir? - Yes? Deborah Fiderer.
- Really? - Yes, sir.
All right.
- Mr.
President.
- Hi.
- Debbie? - Hello.
- You two know each other? - Debbie worked for Donald McKittridge.
She's very interesting.
Her résumé's impressive.
I remember thinking she was efficient and creative.
She found Charlie.
I remember people talked about her a lot, they found her pretty strange.
But I remember I didn't find her that strange.
- You know I can hear you, right? - I'm in your corner.
- You're the alpaca farmer.
- It was something I tried for a while.
- You hired Charlie, huh? - I worked in Presidential Personnel and he'd come into the wrong office.
He'd been called about a messenger job.
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah.
We started talking.
It doesn't take long to see he's special, so I sent him to Josh Lyman.
- Well, thanks for that.
- Yes, sir.
Who was second? Who did I almost get? - Sir? - I like to think about the road not taken.
- You're testing my memory.
- Yeah.
- A young man named David Dweck.
- David Dweck? I used to call him,"David Dweck, want a dwink of wa wa?" Until I realized that wasn't really funny.
- Excuse me, Mr.
President, you wanted - Yeah.
Hong Kong's down four percent, but it's still over 10,000 it's too early to tell anything.
The Nikkei's down two percent the dollar's down.
3 percent against the yen, .
4 percent against the euro.
- Frankfurt opens in eight hours.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
Sorry.
- Why were you fired? - I'm sorry? Why were you fired? - No particular reason.
- That doesn't sound quite right.
- No? - Why were you fired? - Is it relevant? - Only because you're asking for a job.
- Chronic lateness.
- I don't believe you.
- It's true.
- No, it's not.
- You call me a liar to my face? - Yes.
- Okay.
- Charlie said it was because of him.
- He did? - He said you hired him, and that's why.
- Charlie lies.
- No, he doesn't.
He's a bad seed.
I knew it the moment I saw him.
I'm now ordering you to tell me why you were fired.
I'm afraid we're at a classic impasse, Mr.
President.
You were strange when I met you, and you're strange now.
Hey, when you met me there was a good reason.
- What? - I was high.
- Okay.
- This time it's just me.
- Tell me why you were fired.
- No, sir.
I'll figure it out anyway.
What I lack in memory I make up for with exceptional powers of deductive reasoning.
- That come with tights and a cape? - I think the interview's over.
Yeah.
But let's do this every once in a while.
Thank you very much.
Debbie? - Mr.
McKittridge.
- What are you doing here? - I was - I brought her in.
- Charlie.
How many? - Hang on.
- I know, but I brought her in.
- Doesn't matter It does matter.
There's a way it works.
Brian Dweck! CFO of Colfax, and contributor to Representative Mark McKittridge whose brother is the Director of the Office of Presidential Personnel wants a job for his son, David.
"Wants a dwink of wa wa.
" My powers of deduction are not to be mocked.
Mr.
President, I assure you, whatever she told you She didn't tell me anything.
I ordered her By the way, my powers of ordering are a joke.
I can create an agency, but I can't get her She didn't give you up.
She She didn't give you up.
Was she funny? Have the agents stop her at the door for a second.
- Debbie.
- Yes, sir? - Where's the dollar? - I'm sorry, sir? - What's the dollar doing right now? - It's down.
3 percent against the yen point-four percent against the euro.
- Mr.
President, the first lady is back.
- Bring her on.
The president's on the podium at 8: 15? Probably more like 8:30, and he's gonna speak for 15 minutes.
Any comment on the CBO deficit numbers? Last OMB was 11 billion off, CBO missed by 25 billion there'll be a deficit, but the CBO numbers are off.
Katie? - Legislative Appropriations? - He can't say until he sees the bill.
All right, that's a full lid, I'll see you all over there.
Thank you.
Hang on a second.
Okay, today at 5:32 p.
m.
Central Savings Time two pipe bombs were set off inside the Geiger Indoor Arena which is the swimming team's facility at Kennison State University the Kennison Hawkeyes.
The women's team was hosting a match A meet with Illinois, Michigan and Minnesota, they're all Big Ten schools.
Forty-four people are dead it looks like about a hundred injured, about 20 critically.
- C.
J.
! - I'm gonna have to listen in while I talk to you.
Barry, then Sydney, then Fran.
I didn't say I wasn't going, I said I could live without it.
- It sounded like you weren't going.
- I forgot about it is all.
- Did you have other plans? - As a matter of fact, I did.
- I was planning a quiet night.
- Watching your cooking show.
It's not just a cooking show, all right? It's very relaxing.
- The woman is sublime.
- If you ask me, it's soft porn.
No one needs to massage oil into a leg of lamb that much.
- On top of which - Hold on.
Why is she still on? the information that they were pipe bombs is coming from We're getting both campus information and Cedar Rapids Police and Fire but I don 't know any more details on the type of pipe bombs or the damage they can cause.
- Find out what happened.
None of that has been confirmed.
Emergency squads are still on the scene treating the minor injuries.
Witnesses say there were swimmers in the water at the time of the explosion.
I don 't think there's been much discussion about motives or suspects.
- I don't understand the two of you.
- We had to get out.
- He can't read in a moving car.
- You can't read in a moving car, he can.
He was reading to us.
I need it to come in through my eyes.
You couldn't wait three blocks? Six hundred and eighty-five points? Did it say how much the percentage drop was? It did, but by the time I got there my newspaper no longer had the molecular structure of a newspaper.
- Yes, may I help you? - Yes, please.
We need a room.
- Is that two rooms? - No, just the one for - What did we decide, half an hour? - Our flight Our flight was delayed and we're just looking for someplace to dry off and watch the news.
Let me see what I've got.
If the Nikkei hasn't reacted Securing peace in a time of global conflict sustaining hope in this winter of anxiety and fear.
More than any time in recent history, America's destiny is not of our choosing.
We did not seek, nor did we provoke, an assault on our freedom and our way of life.
We did not expect nor did we invite, a confrontation with evil.
Yet the measure of a people's strength is how they rise to master that moment when it does arrive.
Forty-four people were killed a couple of hours ago at Kennison State University.
Three swimmers from the men's team were killed, two are in critical condition.
Hearing the explosion from their practice facility they ran into the fire to help get people out.
Ran into the fire.
The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight.
They're our students and our teachers and our parents and our friends.
The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels but when we think we've measured our capacity to meet a challenge we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless.
This is a time for American heroes.
We will do what is hard.
We will achieve what is great.
This is a time for American heroes, and we reach for the stars.
God bless their memory.
God bless you.
And God bless the United States of America.
Thank you.
When did you write that last part? In the car.
Freak.
Anthony, I'm so sorry.
Thank you for waiting.
This thing came up at the last minute.
A bomb at a swimming meet.
You probably I can take you home now.
You probably saw it here on the television sets.
You know I really miss Simon too.
That's probably something we can talk about.
I asked around today, I didn't find anyone but I'm not done, there are more people I'm asking tomorrow.
I'll take you home now.
- I don't need a babysitter.
- I'm sorry? I said, I don't need a babysitter, bitch.
Are you deaf? Well, I don't think you need a babysitter, I - What's the matter with you? - This is Miss Cregg, press secretary and senior counselor to the president.
If she wasn't, she's still Miss Cregg.
I don't mind you not respecting people, I mind your doing it out loud.
I mind your doing it in here.
You wanna be a punk, fine, but I don't think you've got the size.
You wanna go to juvie, get out, deal and kill cops, okay but every time you do a crime, you get caught.
So I think you're gonna have to do something else.
Nine o'clock on Saturday mornings I eat breakfast at Cosmos on Delaware.
I come here to do office work, then go to St.
Jude's to play basketball.
You can go to juvie or you can be at Cosmos 9:00 on Saturday morning.
It's entirely up to you.
Schmutzy pants.
I know that voice.
- I was at the dinner.
- I didn't see you.
- Nice job on the speech.
- What makes you think I wrote it? "We did not seek, nor did we provoke.
We did not expect, nor did we invite"? - A little thing called cadence.
- It works for you.
- How's New York? - Richard got traded to the Blackhawks.
- For a Zamboni battery? - And Garnier and a first-round draft pick.
So you're moving to Chicago.
Richard and I split.
That is terrible.
That is the worst thing.
I am so sorry.
I liked him too.
His brooding stare in the penalty box.
- If there is anything I can do.
- Shut up.
- Okay.
- I came by to say hi.
- I came by to tell you I liked the speech.
- Thank you.
My dad said you staffed the president today.
- Yes.
- How was it? You know anything about chaos theory? I know it has to do with fractal geometry.
That's about all I know too.
But it has to do with there being order and even great beauty, in what looks like total chaos.
Then if we look closely enough at the randomness around us patterns will start to emerge.
I love Josh like a brother.
And he's a world-class political mind.
But until today, I didn't know he was smarter than I was and I've worked here three years and eight months.
And until you sit in the room all day you can't comprehend the chaos of the Oval Office.
I had a good moment, talking about the ripple effect of a deficit, but that was it.
The rest of the day was just keeping up.
- And this was a pretty light day.
- One good moment is good.
I'm not complaining, I'm saying, one good moment is great.
It's a golf shot.
I gotta get back in there.
That's where it's happening.
You came by just to tell me you liked the speech? "This is a time for American heroes, and we reach for the stars"? I'm weak.
Yeah, I think I stole that from Camelot.
Let me get you home, you're not gonna make it.
Yeah.
I don't think I'm gonna make it either.
-Camelot? - Good writers borrow from other writers.
Great writers steal from them outright.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Take it easy.
The picture's from Deanna, I just put it in a frame.
I've had it in my office for a week, I keep forgetting to give it to you.
Thanks.
It's nice.
- Have a good night.
- Good night.
- Campaigns aren't about the candidates.
- No? How about the voters? How are we gonna create jobs? How are we gonna fix health care? Or make the lights go on? - Or protect ourselves? - Do you ask if the plumber knows which direction the pipes run? Don't you? Forget the plumber.
Don't we want leadership to sound and feel like, instead of appealing to our least expensive however legitimate, desire to feel good about ourselves? Don't we want? - All right, that's it.
I can't take it.
- He started it.
I'm not kidding.
I have such an impulse to knock your heads together.
I can't remember the last time I heard you two talk about anything other than how a campaign was playing in Washington.
Cathy took a second job so her dad could be covered by insurance.
She told you how bad things were for farmers, you told her we lost Indiana.
You made fun of the fair, but you didn't see they have livestock exhibitions and give prizes for the biggest tomato and the best heirloom apple.
They're proud of what they grow.
Eight modes of transportation, the kindness of six strangers conversations with 12 more, and none brought up Bartlet vs.
Ritchie but you.
I'm writing letters on your behalf to the parents of the kids who died.
Can I have the table, please? Flight's delayed? Yeah.
Me too.
I'm going to St.
Louis.
Washington.
I'm with my daughter.
She's up Upstairs in the room.
But we were out here looking at Notre Dame.
- Yeah? - Got kids? No.
Wait'll you take your oldest to look at colleges.
It's an incredible feeling.
You wish they'd go to college across the street from your house, but you know Jack Daniel's, rocks.
My boss went to Notre Dame.
Beautiful campus.
I've never seen anything like it.
She's not gonna get to sleep tonight.
You see what happened to the market today? Yeah, I saw.
You invested? Mutual fund that's supposed to send her to college.
I never imagined at 55,000 a year, I'd have trouble making ends meet.
And my wife brings in another 25.
My son's in public school.
It's no good.
There's 37 kids in the class no art and music, no advanced-placement classes.
Other kids, their mother has to make them practice the piano.
You can't pull my son away from the piano.
He needs teachers.
And I spend half the day thinking about what happens if I slip and fall down on my own front porch, you know? It should be hard.
I like that it's hard.
Putting your daughter through college, that's a man's job.
Man's accomplishment.
But it should be a little easier.
Just a little easier.
Because in that difference is everything.
I'm sorry, I'm I'm Matt Kelley.
I'm Toby Ziegler.
I work at the White House.
You have a minute to talk? We'd like to buy you a beer.
Okay.
- Morning, Mr.
President.
- Good morning, sir.
The happy, fun group.
We have reason to believe that in the next 48 hours the Qumari rescue team will announce they've recovered a military-issue Israeli-made parachute.
- They're just allowed to make things up? As long as we won't step up and say it was us, they do.
- They know it was us, right? - Yeah.
- Is that what you think we should do? - Me? No, I don't.
I am, however, beginning to lean towards reducing our nuclear arsenal one at a time, if you know what I mean, sir.
- What about you? - Well, I'm with Dr.
Strangelove on keeping our military secrets secret, but Nancy and Leo and I think there's a third option, which is to say it was us, but insulate you.
I signed a piece of paper, Fitz.
We can get around that.
You just hated my living guts when I got this job, didn't you? - No, sir.
- Yeah, you did.
I didn't know anything and had no respect for the chiefs.
You became my counselor, and brought the chiefs to me.
- You got the chiefs, they respect you.
- You brought them to me.
And you talked Leo into Shareef, and he talked me into it.
It was my order and you executed it flawlessly, and I stand by it.
I stand by you, I stand by you all.
I stand by it till I die.
Plus, I'm gonna need some cellmates in Holland.
- So, what do we do now? - We're in the Situation Room.
Let's go.
We could have gone to the nearest Chinese restaurant picked up some Kikkoman and put it in that soy diesel thing.
I don't think it works like that.
Plus, how close do you think the nearest Chinese restaurant was? Well, we should start making cars that run on ketchup.
When I get home I'm taking the longest hot bath of my life.
Excuse me, would you mind letting me off up there at the bridge? - You sure? - Yeah.
I can walk to work from there.
- Yeah, I'll hop out there too.
- Please, not this again.
- You did the number back at the bar.
- It didn't have to do with eliminating modern conveniences.
- She can drop you off at home.
I'll get out with them up here.
If our job teaches us anything it's that we don't know what the next president's gonna face.
If we choose someone with vision, someone with guts someone with gravitas who's connected to other people's lives and cares about making them better if we choose someone to inspire us then we'll be able to face what comes our way and achieve things we can't imagine yet.
Instead of telling people who's the most qualified instead of telling people who's got the better ideas, let's make it obvious.
It's gonna be hard.
Then we'll do what's hard.