A Million Little Things (2018) s04e03 Episode Script

1 WOMAN: I'm the person who hit you.
I'm so sorry.
Previously on "A Million Little Things" Thanks so much for having us.
I'm Shanice, and this is Kiana.
Mom, she's amazing.
DARCY: Eddie, this is Russ.
Whoa.
You didn't tell me this guy's in a wheelchair.
I may have to charge extra.
GARY: I, uh, can relate to the, uh OCD-type tendencies.
What would you want to say to the man who assaulted you? And I think everyone should know your name.
It's Peter Benoit.
SAUNDERS: If I thought we could get a conviction, it would be different.
But I am worried about having enough evidence in this case.
You were pretty upset the other day at the station.
Next day, this guy's in the hospital.
Eventually, he's gonna wake up, and when he does, he can tell us himself what happened.
And if he doesn't wake up, that just makes things a lot more complicated.
ANNA: No.
When I found him there, I barely even recognized him.
I mean, it was really bad.
The doctors say that we won't know anything for a while.
But I really appreciate you checking in on me, Mara.
I will.
Bye.
[SIGHS.]
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Mrs.
Benoit? - Yes.
Craig Saunders with the Brookline PD? I'm sorry to bother you, but I have a few more questions.
Yes, of course.
Thank you.
Um, did you notice anything unusual in the weeks leading up to your husband's attack? What do you mean? Just trying to cover all the bases.
But there were no signs of forced entry, which gives us reason to believe that your husband might have known his assailant.
No, that doesn't make any sense.
No one that knows Peter would want to hurt him.
You've never heard of any students being upset with him? Of course not.
Peter is an incredible teacher.
I mean, his students, they They love him.
He has changed so many lives.
I'm sure.
But just take a minute and think about it for me.
Anything out of the ordinary? Um I mean, I-I didn't think anything of it at the time, but a few weeks ago, when I came home late for choir practice, there there was a man sitting in his car parked outside of our house.
Can you remember any details about the man? What his car looked like? Uh, it was an S.
U.
V.
Gray, I think.
Dark gray.
Oh, and he had a beard.
If any of that is helpful.
I think it might be.
[CELLPHONE BUZZES.]
Hey.
What's up? Hey, pretty lady.
Whatcha doing tonight? Working, probably.
Let me check with my people.
Alexa, what's on my schedule tonight? ALEXA: Katherine, there's nothing on your schedule for tonight.
Wow.
She said that with a little bit of judgment.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's because she doesn't know you're coming to Maggie's.
We have a surprise for you.
Gina, you know I don't like surprises.
Okay, okay, I'll tell you, but you have to promise to act surprised.
We're throwing you a divorce party.
- [SQUEALS.]
- Divorce party.
Is celebrating a failed marriage really a thing? Honey, 12 years of marriage is not a failure.
That was an important chapter of your life.
And now that you are starting a new one, we want to be there to support you.
And if we happen to have some drinks and go out to a bar and meet some cute men in the process, so be it.
That's so thoughtful, but really Nope, not taking no for an answer.
Starts at 7:00.
[SIGHS.]
Alexa, add to my schedule "Divorce party, 7:00 P.
M.
tonight.
" Divorce party added to your schedule.
Divorce party! Whoo-whoo! They're having a divorce party.
That's pretty cold.
Look, I get the excitement.
I went to one of those things.
Hooked up with the guest of honor in a Buffalo Wild Wings storage closet.
Luckily, she had plenty of Wet-Naps to clean up my hot sau Nope.
No.
No.
Check swing.
Self-correcting.
I'm a gentleman.
Dude, what's gonna happen when Ed finds out that Katherine's taking a victory lap for leaving him? [PETER GRUNTING.]
- GARY: Shut up! - Get off! Get off of me! Help! - Help me! Somebody! - ROME: Mendez, you still there? I'm worried about Ed, bro.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, I'm here.
Uh, it's a good point.
I know I can't afford to send him back to rehab, so, uh, we're not gonna let him find out, okay? Luckily, we got the Bruins game to distract him.
Yes! Last game we get to watch at your place.
It's the end of an era.
So what I've done is, I've gotten us some Slim Jims, some foot-longs, hot pretzels which may or may not be from last season, just like the Garden.
As long as nobody pees in my sink.
I believe it was you who did that.
Yeah, but that was before I learned how to self-correct.
Hockey, baby! EDDIE: The way she was looking at me, I figured it had to be the woman who hit me.
And it turns out she was just a fan of my band.
Whoa, wait.
You were in a band? Is that the same band you mention like five times every session? [CHUCKLES.]
I know she works at Halpert's.
It's only a matter of time before I find her.
And when you do, what are you gonna say? That she ruined my life.
That I threw away 11 years of sobriety because of what she did.
Then what? That my marriage imploded, and my poor son has to shuttle between houses.
I barely get to see him.
Then what? Dude, what do you want from me? I just want to know what you're gonna say that's going to reverse everything and magically get you out of that chair.
Believe me, I get your anger.
After I fell off that ladder, oh, I was mad at everybody.
The E.
R.
doctor who told me my pain would only last a few days.
My girlfriend for never turning off that damn light.
But ultimately, I realized I couldn't keep living "B.
C.
" "B.
C.
"? Before Chair.
You have every right to be pissed off.
But obsessing about it like this is keeping you in the past.
I mean, that and your obsession with Axe body spray.
Let's go, stinky.
Time to get beat by a quadriplegic.
Again! [MAGGIE AND SOPHIE GRUNTING.]
- MAGGIE: You get it? - Uh, nope.
Little higher.
I knew I should have asked Theo to help me.
Oh, wow.
Short jokes, seriously? You clearly lived with Gary for too long.
Oh - Ooh.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
Ah, there we go.
[BOTH SIGH.]
I'm surprised you didn't ask your friend Tennille to help you.
From what I recall, she's pretty tall.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
But I think she's pretty busy getting ready to go off to college.
And you've been feeling a little left out? Well, I saw these IG posts last night where bunch of kids from my class were at this huge party.
Maybe they just forgot to invite me, or you know, maybe they thought it'd be difficult to let loose around me after everything that happened.
But I can still be fun at a party.
Yeah, of course you can.
Which is why you are coming with me to Katherine's divorce party tonight.
Ooh.
[CHUCKLES.]
That I don't know.
That kind of seems like an old person thing.
Wow.
Okay, so I'm short and I'm old? Now you're definitely coming with me.
I have a TikTok, so you know.
But you shouldn't, so you know.
Hey.
I am telling your mom.
[CHUCKLES.]
[FAN WHIRRING.]
DARCY: You guys are gonna have so much fun.
- Now, be good, okay? - Yeah.
- What is - Whoa, there he is! Welcome to hockey night, my young friend.
Looks like a tornado came through here.
Yeah, a tornado from 1995.
I hope Hootie and his Blowfish are okay.
Ha! Heh.
Theo's in the back with his dad, speaking of relics from the '90s.
Go announce your presence, with authority! Hello, chaos.
Believe it or not, I have a very organized system, okay? Dump.
Donate.
Definitely going to Lenox.
Tell you what, toss that nasty thing in that donate box, and I'll drop everything off on my way across town.
Deal.
But only because I know that thanks to my donation, someone, somewhere will soon know the joys of the sack.
Boom.
Sacked it.
I'd literally do anything to stop you from saying the word "sack.
" No can do.
Sorry.
It's boys' night here.
Coming up with cool names for our junk is kind of our whole thing.
Sounds fun, but not as fun as our divorce party.
Shh, shh.
Okay.
Alright.
I, uh I don't know if Ed is ready to hear how Katherine got her groove back.
Ah.
I get that.
After Steven and I separated and I started dating again, he was over grabbing the last of his stuff, and he found some condoms in a drawer, and he was super uncomfortable.
Eh, more or less uncomfortable than I am right now just hearing about it? Oh, fair enough.
I will take care of Katherine, and you take care of Eddie.
And if we all survive, I'll meet you back here tonight.
Mm.
I wanna go dancing all night Okay.
- Is that centered? - Um, yep.
Okay! It's 7:00! You know Katherine.
She's always on time.
Quiet.
Quiet.
Quiet.
Nobody's talking except you.
Right.
- [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- [ALL GASP.]
- Ooh.
Okay.
Okay.
- She's here.
Okay.
Come in! [ALL CHUCKLING.]
Surprise! Wow! What in the world is going on? What are you guys all up to? You told her.
- I told her.
- Gina! I am dressed all wrong for this, aren't I? Hey, it's not your fault.
Regina should have told you to come ready to go to the bar, not pass the bar.
It's fine.
I have a ton of tops if you want something a little less "Rizzoli & Isles.
" REGINA: Wow, we roasting now? I think she looks great.
And after one of my margaritas, you will, too.
That is, if you can think at all.
Ooh.
- Yes, please.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- For you.
- Oh.
Okay, well, this is gonna be better than I thought.
- Thanks, Gina.
- Of course, girl! I always make unlimited virgin margaritas for our designated driver.
Surprise.
Surprise? Am I too late? Shanice! No one told me you were gonna come.
I have been locked in a hotel room with an 11-year-old every night for two weeks straight.
There's no way I was missing this.
[LAUGHTER.]
Uh, you know what, Maggie? I think maybe I should get into something a little more fun.
[GASPS.]
Yes.
Yes, right this way.
Are we doing cleavage or backless? I'll get my boob tape.
BOB: Up next, your Bruins face off against - the Pittsburgh Penguins.
- Whoo! Here we go.
Here we go! Okay, I'd like to propose a toast, gentlemen.
Tonight, we initiate two new members into our brotherhood of Bruins fans - Hear, hear! - which started 12 years ago with our friend Jon.
Mm.
And as we say goodbye to this fine venue - Hello from Boston.
- Nope, down in front.
- Alright, let's go, B's! - Here we go.
Yeah, I can drink to that! Alright, fellas, come on.
Root beers up.
Hey.
Hey, there, Theo.
Phone down, root beer up.
- Sorry.
- Come on, kid.
He was just texting Kiana.
Ooh.
Who is Kiana? Oh, wait, wait, Shanice's daughter? Wait a minute, does my little man have his first crush? No.
I-I-I don't.
Alright, so, it's Theo and Kiana? That means we got "Thiana" or "Kio.
" - Kio.
- Oh, you sound like a cute, little car.
Stop it! T, it's okay, we've all been there.
- We know what it's like.
- Yeah.
I don't want to talk about it! - Oh, come on.
- T, come on! ROME: Hey, Theo, come back.
BOB: You don't pay unless they get you paid.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Alright, okay.
Still three of us.
That's not bad.
Whoa, you ain't got no Bruins gear, bro? Kiddo, you got to represent! Put that on, bro.
- Ooh.
- [GARY SIGHS.]
- I'm gonna take it.
- Yeah.
Got it.
There it is.
And why don't you just go wash your hands? Yeah.
Thank you.
You'll be all right.
What did I do? He gonna be okay? He's kind of got a thing with germs.
But come on, dude.
No one wants to wear your nasty, old sweatshirt.
You got over a decade of B.
O.
baked into that thing.
Come on, bro, you should talk, man.
That hat you wear? Shoot.
The sweat stains have sweat stains.
[CHUCKLES.]
I can't believe I was about to watch a game without my lucky hat.
Man, where you going? No, I-I had it on earlier.
Mendez, get back here! You about to miss the opening face-off, bro.
You [MUTTERING.]
Maybe it's in my room.
[STADIUM HORN SOUNDS.]
BOB: tension that is in the air tonight.
Brotherhood of one.
Can you feel the energy?! [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS, TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE.]
[CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYING.]
You know what, honey? I'm a little tired of Chopin.
Why don't we switch it up? [CELLPHONE CHIMES.]
What is this? MAGGIE: To the listeners of "Living Bloom," tonight's podcast includes explicit details of a real-life sexual assault.
Some of what you're about to hear could be upsetting.
Listener discretion is advised.
So if I haven't done it, I drink? Oh, no, no, no.
You drink if you have done it.
Or so I'm told.
Wow.
Good save.
Alright.
Darcy, you're up first.
Never have I ever smoked pot.
- Ah, yeah.
- I've done that.
Alright, this feels like a trap.
Nope.
You are an adult in the eyes of the law.
There's no judgment here.
- Sophie Abigail Dixon! - Wha I'm just messing with you, girl.
[LAUGHTER.]
Okay, but, Katherine, how is it that you were married to a rock star and never tried pot? I was always too worried about failing a drug test.
Oh, in case you were at one of Eddie's concerts and they needed to quickly appoint you Supreme Court justice? [LAUGHTER.]
Okay, fine.
My turn.
Never have I ever dated Gary.
- Hmm.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Okay.
- Oh, fine.
- [SCOFFS.]
- Okay.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Hold up.
You all dated the same guy? - Mm-hmm.
- Mnh-mnh.
I only had one date with him.
But I see how we playing this now.
[LAUGHTER.]
Never have I ever kissed a girl.
Oh, I told you that in confidence.
[LAUGHING.]
No, you told the entire karaoke bar before you sang "I Kissed a Girl.
" Yeah, and then I told all 50 of you not to tell anyone.
Come on, Shanice.
Drink up.
What? You kissed Jennifer Aniston.
In that movie.
You know, in the funeral scene? - Oh.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right up against the casket.
Busted! EDDIE: I'm really sorry, T.
I got a little carried away out there.
Huh? Why didn't you tell me about Kiana? It's embarrassing.
I get it.
I felt the same way about Carolyn Blasiole.
We were in the 6th grade.
We were about to go on our class trip to Washington, D.
C.
I was gonna make my big move at the Lincoln Memorial.
As one does.
But before we went, I made the mistake of telling my dad about it.
He started singing this terrible song.
"Eddie and Carolyn, sittin' in a tree.
" [CHUCKLES.]
Point is, by the time we got to the Lincoln Memorial, I chickened out.
Carolyn ended up with Kevin Cramer, sittin' in a tree.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G? 'Fraid so.
And I never told my dad about a crush I had ever again.
And I don't want that for us.
I want to tell her I like her, but I'm really nervous, because I have to do it tonight.
Why tonight? She's going back to L.
A.
tomorrow to visit her dad, and I might never see her again.
Oh, man.
Okay, yeah.
You have to do something.
And you are in luck, 'cause you happen to have a great wingman who knows exactly what to do.
It is called the grand gesture.
I'm listening.
Okay.
Top you off? Yes, please.
Gotta enjoy this buzz while I can.
Yes, you do, lady.
You doing one of those fancy cleanses? I did one of those for like 90 minutes once.
Felt great.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, no.
I, um Uh, once we get settled in Lenox, Gary and I are gonna start trying - You know.
- Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Sure.
Oh, that's so great, Darcy.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Ah, shoot.
We are actually all out of ice.
Uh, Maggie, can you go on an ice run with me? Yes! Yes, I can.
I am all about the ice.
Even froze my eggs.
I'm kidding.
I mean, I did do that.
- Should we go? - Yes.
BOB: So, the first period ends with the score Penguins, 1, Bruins, nothing.
Sorry I freaked out before.
Oh, that? Nah.
That was nothing.
But you will see a full Category 5 freak-out if we don't find my hat.
Well, it's not in any of these boxes.
Would you, uh Would you mind checking my bedroom again? Sure.
Uh, except the top shelf in the closet! There's nothing to see there.
Especially not in the box labeled "Taxes.
" Okay.
1-nothing at the end of the first period.
Not that anyone cares.
Sorry, man.
Young love takes precedence.
Oh, Uncle Rome, did you ever make a grand gesture to impress a girl? Yeah.
Yeah.
One time in high school, for this girl named Dana Lohman.
She had a thing for rappers.
[CHUCKLES.]
So you wrote a rap for her? [CHUCKLING.]
No.
No.
I became Atomic Rom, complete with a velour Adidas track suit.
Then I wrote a rap for her.
See, the key is, you got to play into your strengths, right? So, like, what are you good at? Aside from looking so fly.
Well, when we went to the protest, everyone seemed to like my posters.
Great idea.
Put it in print.
I'm gonna go get my art supplies.
BOB: Halftime with Penguins 1 Posters, huh? I guess that's better than a rap.
Or a clap with a snap.
[RAPPING.]
Or better yet, a dap, can I get a what-what? Dana Lohman in the house, sayin', "Rap to me, Rome Rap-rap to me, Rome" I don't like you.
But sadly, that was better than the one I did for Dana, who laughed in my face.
What if the same thing happens to Theo? Now, that's a good point, Atomic Rom.
What if the grand gesture doesn't land? We're looking at, what, Theo being emo for the next seven years, listening to Morrissey, shopping exclusively at Hot Topic? I mean, is that really worth it, Ed? Actually, it is.
Somehow, Theo still believes in love, even after watching Katherine and me split.
That's why I gotta help him.
What are you doing? Calling Katherine to see if she can give me Kiana's hotel and room number.
Nah, man.
You don't You don't want to do that.
- Why not? - Katherine's busy tonight.
Yeah, Katherine works every night.
That doesn't mean she can't pick up the phone.
Katherine's not working tonight, Ed.
Guys, what what's going on? [CROWD CHEERING.]
[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE.]
Hey.
Thank you for getting me out of there.
You're really good at this "being there for people" stuff.
Yeah, well, I learned from the best.
Aww.
Gary.
[CHUCKLES.]
Dang, girl.
[CHUCKLES.]
Blame the virgin margaritas.
Oh, my God.
Huh? What is it? That's Peter's wife.
Uh, Anna.
Hi.
I, uh I heard about what happened with Peter.
And I'm s-sorry for what you're going through.
Are you? How dare you lie about my husband when he's in a coma and can't even defend himself.
[SHAKILY.]
I wasn't lying.
He's a good man.
And all he ever did was try to help you.
And that's how you thank him? By trying to ruin him? You're lucky that I don't sue you - for what you said.
- Hey, okay.
Come on.
But did you even listen to it? Oh, I listened to enough.
I didn't need to hear any more lies.
I know my husband.
And he would never do anything like that Yeah, but he did.
Your husband groomed me, gained my trust, just God, I mean, just so he could get off.
Putting that podcast out there and knowing that my family and friends were all going to hear it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
But I did it.
Because it's the truth.
- You okay, man? - I mean just found out my ex-wife is celebrating her independence from me like it's the Fourth of July.
What do you think? I think I've got some sparklers around here somewhere, if that'll help.
You know what the worst part about it is? It's that my best friends didn't think I could handle hearing about it.
Am Am I really that pathetic? Not now.
Ed.
You are not pathetic.
We're your boys.
We're just looking out for you.
You absolutely should.
I mean, I need someone to give me a place to live.
I need someone to pay for my rehab.
I need you guys to spend your hockey nights drinking root beer.
Yeah.
I noticed that.
Dad, we got a problem! I'm all out of glitter.
Well, then, we better get to the store.
- THEO: Really? - Oh, yeah.
Great! Let's go.
Do you want us to come with you? The thing is, I don't.
[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV.]
Oh, no.
Craft World closes in five minutes.
What are we gonna do? It's okay.
We're not going to Craft World.
We're going to Halpert's.
[LAUGHTER.]
- Mm-hmm.
- What? Shanice, did you have a divorce party after your split? - Right? - No.
But I did take my friends to Cabo for a week to celebrate my massive weight loss.
210 pounds that forgot our anniversary twice.
Ah.
You know Hardest thing I've ever done, but so worth it.
The best thing to do is just rip the Band-Aid off and get right back out there.
I Maybe Maybe you're right.
I mean [CHUCKLES.]
I am on this app - Wait, what? - Yeah, Carter put me on it.
You have like a million likes on this thing.
Let's see what people are saying about Katherine S.
Okay, maybe not No, no.
Not right now.
What we should do is just go ahead and invite one of these 50 guys to meet us at the bar.
- Mm-hmm.
That's a great idea.
- Right? I really don't - That's a cutie, right there.
Right? - Not bad.
- Yeah.
- Okay, she should say, "I'm gonna make a complaint to Spotify, because, clearly, you've been robbed of the title Hottest Single.
"[LAUGHS.]
- Guys - That's so fun.
That's fun.
She should say, "I'm learning important dates in history.
Want to be one of them?" - Good one! - No! Okay? Just stop.
Just, just stop.
BOB: Bruins and the Pens tied at 2.
Come on, boys.
You got this.
GREG: highs and lows from the Bruins.
Passing was crisp, and that slapshot from Andre? Wow.
Look out.
Bruh, can you let it go? This our last time to watch the Bruins before you move, so why don't you come over here and sit down, watch the game with your friend, and forget about your stupid hat? It doesn't bring you luck.
Doesn't even look good on you.
It's not just the hat.
It's that Jon gave me the hat.
When I was going through chemo, after I had lost my hair, and these very, very sexy brows were gone.
He was just trying to make me feel comfortable, you know? Said if I was going to go, I was going to go in a Bruins hat.
"At least God will know that you have good taste.
" I know it's not logical.
I just I get this thought stuck in my head sometimes that the only reason I'm still here is because of that stupid hat.
Okay.
Alright.
Let's find your ugly hat.
Where have you looked? Everywhere, literally.
Including the box labeled "Taxes.
" I should just throw that stuff out or get a working DVD player.
Look, it's got to be here somewhere, right? Couldn't just up and walk out of your house.
I'm telling you, dude, nothing has left this place today.
Except that box of stuff Darcy took to donate.
Hey, yo, Liam! Grab a jerky stick and hit the head.
Boys' night's going on the road.
I got the sticks! Let's go! [CLEARS THROAT.]
Don't pray to God, I pray to you I come in peace.
With drink.
[DOOR SHUTS.]
[MUFFLED MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING.]
You want to talk about Me being an insane person? You are not insane.
You're just divorced.
Welcome to the club.
[SIGHS.]
It's all the it's all the shoulds, you know? You should have a divorce party.
You should be ready to date again.
I've been playing that game my entire life.
You know, starting with my parents You should get perfect grades.
You should go to the best college.
I swear, I want to tear that word out of the dictionary.
Believe me, I get it.
Can I, um Can I ask you something? Sure.
How long after your divorce until you were ready to go out with a guy again? Three months.
But you are allowed to do things at your own pace.
You are the only one who'll know when you are ready.
Thank you.
Hurry up, Dad.
They close in 10 minutes.
Whoa.
This place is huge.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
How about we split up? Great idea.
WOMAN: [OVER P.
A.
.]
Attention, Halpert's shoppers.
The store will be closing soon.
Please bring your items to the register.
I want to ask you something.
Dad, did you find it? What aisle for the glitter? Um Aisle 7.
It's next to the glue.
Let's go.
Okay, I texted Gina and told them to keep going without us.
[GASPS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[SIGHS.]
Well, I guess my friends were right.
I really can't have fun at a party.
Yeah, I just I-I keep trying to move past everything to do with Peter, and it somehow keeps catching up to me again.
I just I feel like I can't escape it, and it sucks.
Getting over something like this is never gonna be a straight line.
It's gonna ebb and flow.
But you will be okay.
I promise.
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
Alright.
Never have I ever run into the wife of the man who assaulted me in front of a convenience store while on an ice run.
[SIGHS.]
Um Hmm.
Uh, never have I ever pretended to be happy for my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend when she tells me she's going to start trying to get pregnant very, very soon.
Maybe even trying right now.
Hmm.
Oh, my lie felt bigger.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Okay.
Never have I ever said thank you.
To you.
For never questioning what happened to me from the first moment I told you.
Very lucky to have you in my life.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Bro, where you taking us? - Right here.
Right here.
This is where Darcy said she dropped my stuff.
No.
No! No! Damn.
Okay, okay.
We'll just come back tomorrow.
What if it's not here tomorrow? Oh, right.
I forgot about the hordes of people who go Dumpster-diving for moldy Bruins hats at 3:00 in the morning.
Now is not the time for negativity, Rome.
You are the king of negativity! No, I am the king of sarcasm.
It is that subtle difference that wins over the hearts Whoa, whoa! Kid, you don't want to go in there.
I mean, you thought Rome's jersey was bad - I need to get your hat.
- Oh, this is ridiculous.
I'm going in there.
Yep.
Okay.
What are you doing? - GARY: Ah, dude! - Dude, give me a boost.
- Give me a boost, please.
- I'm not - Ow.
Okay, I'm losing my grip.
- Liam, seriously, man! Let's get out of here before Spider-Man breaks a hip, okay? We'll come back tomorrow.
No.
No, I want to try.
It's okay.
Are you sure? [GRUNTS.]
Yeah.
[DOOR THUMPS.]
You always got my back.
Now I've got yours.
Care ful.
It says no mattresses, no TVs.
Doesn't say anything about donating children.
Um, honey, we're so sorry.
Yeah, you you kept trying to tell us and we didn't listen.
No, I'm the one who's sorry for snapping like that.
I love you guys for planning all this.
And you are right.
I do need to celebrate this new chapter.
But I need to do it in the way that I want to, not the way that other people think I should, even if those people are my best friends.
Whatever you want sounds perfect to us.
Well, I thought about that, and what I want to do is kick your butts at Flip Cup.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, I'm game.
A little scared, but game.
I'll get the cups.
[RATTLING.]
Hey, kid, how you doing in there? Liam? LIAM: I found the box! - You did? - Yeah, but it's not in here.
What? Your hat, i-it's not in the box.
I-I took everything out.
[SIGHS.]
I'm really sorry.
No, no, don't be sorry.
Are you kidding me? That was amazing.
Besides, it's just a It's a stupid, old hat.
[STRAINED CHUCKLE.]
Maybe I just have to face the fact that things are changing.
Maybe we all do, man.
LIAM: [SIGHS.]
I'm sorry.
No, no, no.
I got something way better than a hat tonight.
I got a kid willing to set aside his own fears so that he could be there for me no matter what.
I love you, little man.
Bring it in.
You know, I did get one thing when I was in that Dumpster.
Hepatitis? [GASPS.]
The sack.
- The sack is back.
- Oh, man.
The sack is back.
Stop saying "sack.
" Liam, am I wrong, - or is the sack back? - The sack is back.
So, let me get this straight.
Your friends are leaving in an Uber, and you're doing the dishes at someone else's house? Thought you weren't doing "shoulds" anymore.
I'm not.
Doing dishes is my jam.
An overly competitive, dish-washing, Flip Cup champion? You have many layers.
Hey, thanks for listening to me earlier.
It really helps to talk to someone who's been through the same thing.
I wasn't totally honest with you before.
It wasn't a guy that I dated right after my divorce.
It was a woman.
I don't share that with everyone, which is why I didn't drink during "Never Have I Ever.
" But I feel like I can trust you.
Of course you can.
Do you keep it a secret because of your career? Partly.
But the truth is way less exciting.
It's my parents.
They would not understand, and they're at that stage of life where it just isn't worth messing with.
Oh, are you kidding me? I mean, my mom doesn't even like it when I wear pants.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
[LAUGHS.]
It's not that funny, is it? You have suds on your face.
I was talking this whole time with suds on my face? - [LAUGHS.]
Here.
- Where? Okay, I think I think that's everything.
Um, I-I got to call Theo in a couple minutes to say good night.
Yeah, and if I leave now, I can probably still tuck Kiana in.
This was really fun.
I've always used a dishwasher.
Or someone has.
[CHUCKLES.]
BOB: Try to rebound from tonight's loss Bruins lost.
I don't have my hat.
Coincidence? I think not.
Hey, sorry about overreacting about the game.
Ah.
No, it's just It's tough, you know, the thought that there are gonna be less nights like tonight.
You know, I'mma miss you, man.
Now, of course, there's some things I'm gonna be cool without, too, right? Like putting kids in Dumpsters, starting fist fights with white supremacists.
One time.
I punched a racist one time - Don't say for me.
- For you.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[SIGHS.]
You know, until two years ago, my longest romantic relationship was with a poster of Kathy Ireland.
[CHUCKLES.]
And now I've got Darcy and Liam.
And sometimes, I, uh I feel like I don't deserve any of it.
Of course you deserve it.
And seeing you tonight with Liam was You're gonna be an amazing dad, Gary Mendez.
And even if you did lose that hat, I know Jon would think so, too.
Thanks, man.
Now, can you do it as a rap? Still don't like you.
[CHUCKLES.]
On my mark, okay? EDDIE: Okay, speaker's ready.
[EXHALES SHAKILY.]
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Theo? What are you doing here? Where am I supposed to be? - [CHUCKLES.]
- Daily, lately [PAINT CRACKING.]
Oh, upside-down I'm tip-toein' undersea EDDIE: [WHISPERING.]
You got this.
I I really like you.
I really like you, too.
Caught up in the way I feel - Okay, bye.
- Bye.
I don't know how I can be so drawn into you You crushed it, kiddo! You crushed it.
Of course I did.
I had a great wingman.
Ah, you might have a point there.
But it was all you.
Okay.
- Yes! - Okay.
Be cool.
Be cool.
You got my germophobe son to go Dumpster diving? Yeah.
Yeah, this whole time, I thought the parenting thing was all about giving, but now I see it's also about taking.
Which is great.
That's actually my favorite part of relationships.
Well, whatever you're doing, you are doing it right.
Mm.
Hey.
You didn't happen to see my old, gross Bruins hat in that box of stuff you took to donate, did you? No, sorry.
But you know what was in there? - Ta-da.
- What? Your favorite hoodie.
It must have gotten in there by accident.
I know how much you love this thing.
Oh, no.
Oh, there's a rip.
Yeah.
I was, uh, playing this game, this very cool game that I made up, uh, with Colin called WrestleMania 4.
I lost, pretty badly.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
- Oh.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna go say good night to Liam and remind him to knock before he comes in here, just in case we get a head-start on the baby-making.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Huh? [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
THEO: Kiana and Theo - Sitting in a tree - Sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G Not if you don't go brush your teeth.
One whiff of that breath, all the poster board in the world won't save you.
[CHUCKLES.]
[CELLPHONE VIBRATING.]
[SIGHS.]
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
What do you want? My name is Nicole.
I-I want to tell you what happened that night.
[MONITOR BEEPING.]
[EXHALES SHAKILY.]