American Horror Story s04e03 Episode Script
Edward Mordrake (1)
LILLIAN: The medical community has always been fascinated by freaks of nature.
They highlight the strange wonders of the human body, and illuminate the horrors of disease and disorder, death.
For these poor souls, Halloween must have come as a great relief.
The one ordained day they were allowed to hide behind costumes.
And here at the American Morbidity Museum, we not only embrace their differences, we celebrate them.
(chuckles) So, please have some candy.
Enjoy that, enjoy the tour.
See you in the next room.
Dr.
Mansfield.
Miss Hemmings.
Have you met my lab assistant Miss Rothschild? Oh.
She may be my brightest pupil yet.
Oh.
That's not true.
Now, we don't mean to rush you, but we do have a bona fide offer that expires in an hour.
Did your appraiser look at the specimen? He has.
Let me go get him.
These poor people.
Doomed to lie here and be gawked at all day.
Well, they were losers in life.
At least now they have some value.
Careful.
The Smithsonian offered me $500 for that.
Then they're a bunch of fools.
I beg your pardon, sir.
I have a double degree from Harvard University.
You can't talk to me like that.
Yes, about your double degree.
We called Harvard, asking after a Sylvester Mansfield.
They have no record of you.
Did you know that it's a felony to sell a fraudulent medical specimen? We have every right to call the police.
And I will call the New England Journal of Medicine.
I'll tell them how rudely we've been treated here.
I brought you an authentic baby Sasquatch.
It is a fetal goat with the jaw of a cat sewn onto it.
A what?! This is outrageous.
We're leaving.
Oh.
Take your Sasquatch with you.
(clears throat) You're obviously inventive people.
If you brought me something authentic, something truly priceless, I Well, I wouldn't ask many questions.
In fact, my business is in trouble.
Without new exhibits, even our most loyal patrons would rather stay at home and watch Ed Sullivan.
Where does this stuff come from? All over.
Private collectors, and And, you know, I used to get calls from freak shows when one of theirs would pass, but they're mostly gone now.
Just maybe one or two.
Um Coney Island and South Florida.
What's this over here? Oh.
The conjoined liver of famed Siamese Twins Chang and Eng.
Just the liver? How much is that worth? $5,000.
That's fascinating.
Well, we have to catch our plane.
Catch our train.
Oh.
Have a lovely day.
You, as well.
Coney Island's a little cold this time of year.
How about Florida? CHILD: Trick or treat.
(man laughs maniacally) (child screams) CHILD: Trick or treat! Jessie, go up and get some candy.
I want to wait.
(children screaming) (laughs) What was that all about? She's terrified of clowns.
So guess what her brother dressed as.
I had to drag her to come out and go trick-or-treating.
Kids.
It seems like a good idea at the time.
JANE: Is it me, or is it much more crowded this year? It's those kids from Jupiter.
No trick-or-treating because of the curfew.
Hmm.
I thought they caught the guy.
Some circus performer? Mm.
(brush rustling) (gasps) Jessie.
I saw a clown.
It was a really scary one.
Remember what we talked about? How sometimes we can get confused because of our imagination? He was real.
It's Halloween, Jessie.
There's clowns everywhere.
Now, come on.
Let's go get some more candy with these kids.
(sighs) I swear, I'll never understand that girl.
I find clowns delightful.
(gate creaks) ETHEL: Ow.
(inhales sharply) You're awful quiet.
That must mean the biopsy came back positive.
Uh, yes.
You tested positive for cirrhosis of the liver.
It says here that there's a good deal of fibrosis.
Yeah, well, my liver's tough as an old boot.
We can fix her up, can't we? I don't think so.
Well, I ain't touched a drop since Jimmy's 18th birthday.
Well, you could've had this for a long time.
Cirrhosis can be sneaky.
Well, I ain't gonna die anytime soon, am I? I never liked that question.
I believe hope is strong medicine.
I don't like to tell patients to, uh, give up hope.
Eh, we're all hopeless, Doc.
We're all gonna die.
Pardon me, miss, but the older I get, the harder it gets for me to deliver the bad news.
Never been good at it.
Especially for someone like yourself, who must have had a hard life and seen the worst in human nature.
Eh, I got plenty to be grateful for.
Give it to me straight.
How long have I got? Anywhere from six months to a year.
Well, shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Ain't nothing we can do, huh? Keep the meat to a minimum.
And don't take a single drop of alcohol.
That'll only accelerate things.
I'm sorry.
I just couldn't be more sorry.
Really.
You know what, Doc? (sniffles) I ain't crying 'cause you told me I'm gonna die.
I'm crying 'cause you're the f you're the first doctor ever treat me with respect.
(sniffles) I just c-can't help thinking my whole life might have gone different if I'd met you sooner.
(laughter, lively music playing) PAUL: Hey, come on, Suzi, have a go! (laughing) Whoa! Whoa! (laughs) Hey, come on, girls! Between the two of you, you could win this game in one dunk! No, thank you.
We just washed our hair.
Where have you been? I was digging a grave.
For Meep.
He was a child.
They all are.
I can't protect any of them.
You can't blame yourself.
Why not? They needed a leader and I failed them.
Stop! Stop it! What's wrong with you all?! (music stops) BETTE: Dot.
Meep is dead! Don't you care?! You're being disrespectful.
Look how much pain Jimmy's in.
This is wrong! We should remember Meep by working even harder.
Maybe dedicating the show today to his memory.
The show? It's Halloween.
No freak performs on Halloween.
Any idiot knows that.
It's not fair.
They're new.
They don't know about that old superstition.
Not superstition.
It's true.
BETTE: What is? Why we don't perform on Halloween.
On accounts of Edward Mordrake.
Who? Edward Mordrake.
Aristocrat who lived in the middle 1800s.
He was heir to all kinds of titles.
Could've been a duke or a lord or some shit, things had been different.
Things are never different.
An Englishman of noble birth, Edward was a young man with fine attainments.
He was a scholar.
He was a poet.
Musician of rare ability.
DOT: So what was wrong with him? ETHEL: He had another face on the back of his head.
Hideous as a devil.
No one else could hear what it said, but it whispered to Edward incessantly of things only spoken of in hell.
(indistinct whispering) He tried to kill it.
(whispering stops) (water gurgling) Many times in many ways.
But it wouldn't die.
So what happened to him? He went mad.
His family had him committed to the crazy house at Bedlam.
Truth be told, they were only too happy to have the family freak banished from sight.
In the crazy house, he wrote poetry.
Worked on an unfinished opera.
Anything to keep his mind off the demon whisperings, but he never got any relief.
It was telling him to do things.
Commanding him.
One night, Edward escaped the asylum.
And he ended up where we all do.
At the freak show.
They billed him as the Two Faced Prince.
And he'd show off all the refined skills he'd learned as the scion of one of England's grand families.
And then he'd take a bow.
(screams) And he was happy? He'd found a home with others like himself.
There was no one like Edward.
He wasn't happy.
One Halloween night, Edward snapped.
He murdered every freak in the troupe.
And then he hung himself.
Legend has it that even in death, the demon face was smiling.
So, we don't perform on Halloween night out of respect? PAUL: Out of fear, darling.
If any freak performs on Halloween, they summon the spirit of Edward Mordrake and his demon half-face.
Once he appears, he never leaves alone.
That whispering face will choose one more freak to take with him back to hell.
What a bunch of bunk! What are you trying to scare them for? It's not bunk.
It's true.
I can swear to it.
In '32, when I was with Barnum, they made us perform on Halloween.
Well something visited the circus grounds that night.
'Cause the next morning, Clyde Hendershot, the astounding human cannonball, all three feet, four inches of him, was found hanging in his caravan.
Yup.
His head twisted clean around.
His dead eyes staring backwards.
A smile on his face.
Just like Edward Mordrake's second face.
Enough.
Hey.
What? What the hell was all that about? Carny lore.
Not that.
The drinking! Ma, you swore off the stuff.
Well, I'm swearing back on.
Why? What is it-- Dell? You been on edge ever since he got here.
You don't know shit! Matter of fact, I'm glad he's here.
We need a man around this dump.
Means you're free to go.
Oh, don't give me that look.
You know you been itching to take off.
GLORIA: Dora? (clock chiming) I need your help.
It's almost sundown.
Why do I got to be a bird this year? Because Woody Woodpecker is Dandy's favorite cartoon.
Have you practiced? (imitates Woody Woodpecker's laugh) That'll do in a pinch.
Do you think this will cheer him up? Here he comes.
Ask him yourself.
How was your nap, darling? Are you ready for some Halloween fun? Yes.
I can't wait to go trick-or-treating and terrorize the neighborhood.
There's a curfew.
No one's going out.
Curfews are for the poor people.
We can have our own Halloween here.
We'll have a costume contest.
Can you guess who I am? Doris Duke.
Again.
(laughs) Dandy, you're so clever.
Dora? Bring out Dandy's costume.
Dora worked on it for a month, with my guidance, of course.
Howdy Doody? Howdy Doody! You ungrateful little Dora, if Dandy doesn't like his costume, we'll make another.
There's no time for that, Mother! I'll go into town and buy one.
I think I can make it if I still hurry.
(screams) Your mother might be afraid of you, but I'm not.
Clean up this mess, maid.
I work for Miss Gloria.
Halloween was Meep's favorite holiday.
He loved to dress up.
Hear the screams of the of the kids when he'd sneak the occasional chicken head in their bag of candy.
It was the one day he felt like he could be one of them.
But we know this man.
And he wasn't one of them.
He was better.
We'll all miss you, Meep.
Here's to you, Meep.
It's a little something to lighten the load as you walk through the valley of the shadows.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
JIMMY: We're closed.
There's no show today.
Oh.
I'm not a customer.
I'm looking for a job.
Here? You made a mistake.
Believe me, you don't belong here.
I came all the way from Philadelphia.
My name is Mystic Miss Esmeralda.
I'm a fortune teller.
(chuckles) (Bette crying) BETTE: I never agreed to this! You're being selfish.
I have talent.
And a man who wants to marry me and have babies.
It's all coming true.
But none of it is possible with you here.
He'll never marry you.
Without me, you're just another plain Jane with big dreams.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
I've decided to use the Luck Bone Saw.
What is that? It's the first motorized bone-cutting device that can be sterilized repeatedly without damaging the drive train.
Please no.
Oh, it'll be over before you even feel anything.
I told you.
Tell her, Doctor.
Please don't! I'm begging you! Count backwards from a hundred.
Please don't.
(gas hissing) Thank you, God, for making me separate and whole.
And please take good care of Bette.
BETTE: Wake up, Dot.
Wake up.
Wake up.
(panting) I was having the most beautiful dream.
Why did you wake me? Because I was trapped inside that dream, and for me it was a nightmare.
You can't hold me responsible for my dreams.
It wasn't a dream the last time you tried to kill me.
Aren't you afraid you'd miss me? I'd miss you.
Mean as you are sometimes.
Although sometimes I wonder who you are since we came here.
I'll tell you who I am.
I'm someone who's not afraid to do what it takes.
I'm going to work hard, save my money and find a doctor who will do that surgery.
This life isn't making either one of us happy, Bette.
But one of us will die.
And one of us has a chance at happiness.
(sniffles) (crying) (woman singing in German over speakers) (exhales) Every fortune teller I've ever met came with a darker complexion.
She's not Gypsy, but I think she's the real thing.
(chuckles) You let me be the judge.
I'm not so easily distracted by a pretty face.
(softly): Go.
So, you're a fortune teller? I didn't choose the gift, Elsa.
It chose me.
Show me, Esmeralda.
Tell me my future.
(sighs) (sighs) Spirits are like shadows at night.
Invisible without a guiding light.
They only speak if they sense a receptive audience.
Open your heart, Elsa.
Listen to their words.
(sighs) I see many dark tidings.
In the past, you suffered a grave injustice.
A terrible wrong.
All because of greed and jealousy.
Yeah.
A woman.
She looks like you.
Music.
Your voice, so clear, so so strong.
I can hear them now.
An ovation.
(chuckles) But not for you.
Marlene.
That bitch.
She stole my career.
You see that in the ball? Hmm? She's gone.
But I can hear another song now.
The future.
(sighs) It's your song, Elsa, and it's it's the most heartbreaking music I've ever heard.
(crowd cheering faintly) They're cheering now.
The applause sounds like thunder.
For me? Is there still a chance? It's never too late.
You're like the aster that blooms in the fall.
I see a man standing behind you.
Who is it? An-an elegant, refined stranger.
With dark hair and and piercing eyes.
An impresario.
Under his guidance, he'll make you a star.
(chuckles) (sighs) Oh! Esmeralda? You're hired.
(grunting) Trick or treat? Wowee.
(chuckles) Oh, no, none for me, sweet cheeks.
Got to stay sharp.
(laughs) Mm-hmm.
Looking good, sugar.
Ooh, coming down here and taking over! (giggles) (panting) This place is gonna be good for us.
I can feel it.
Ooh! (moaning) Oh, baby.
Ooh, I've missed you.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Ah, damn it.
Oh.
Sorry, baby.
It's all the weight lifting has got the blood rushing to other places.
Not again, Dell.
I can't take this shit no more.
It's just you came on too strong.
You got to give me some time.
Heard it all before.
Too much hooch, too tired, too cold.
I could get more satisfaction from a doorknob.
(grunting) You should be kissing my boots.
I deserve some goddamn respect! If it wasn't for me, you'd be in the gutter.
Get your paws off of me, or you'll never see me again.
(panting) Desi (door creaks, closes) (organ playing in distance) Son of a bitch! Whew, somebody's mad at somebody.
Fight with Triple Tits? Hey! Don't you talk like that about her.
(chuckles) Come on.
Sit down, share some hooch.
I need to talk to you anyway.
I got a favor to ask.
Drunk and asking for favors? That's not the Ethel I seem to remember.
What was the fight about, anyway? Couldn't get it up? It's none of your business.
What was our problem, you think? Well, you got a beard, for starters.
(chuckles) So, when we conceived Jimmy, you didn't love me at all? Come on, Dell, fess up.
(chuckles) Nah.
Don't you know that men will jump on the first available pussy? I could've been a better dad.
Well, that's the damn truth.
Yeah, listen, he is never, ever to know you're his pa.
Never.
You got that? You're a broken record, Ethel.
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
W-When we was talking about moving to the burbs, and I showed you that brochure for Levittown why'd you lead me on? I led you on for about five minutes.
I felt guilty.
Well, we we never would've made it out there, anyway.
Cookie cutter was never in our cards.
What's with all the questions, Ethel? What, is the booze getting you sentimental? Jimmy's lost.
Your son is floundering.
He's got one foot in this life, one foot out there.
Well, from what I can see, he listens to you pretty good.
Well I'm dying.
Yep.
With any luck, it'll be sooner than later.
He's gonna need some guidance, and preferably from a man.
Come on, can't you be decent? Keep-keep an eye on him, for Christ's sake? Make him get out in the world I was afraid of, make something out of himself.
Weird.
You know what I was wondering this morning? What it would've been like if I'd have stuck around, seen him grow up.
Seen him put on his little Halloween outfit.
What did he like dressing up as? He always wanted to be the same thing.
He wanted to be a soldier.
Boo! (gasps) (laughs) You! (woman humming) (humming continues) (humming) You don't scare me.
I raised you since you were this high.
I found those poor animals you killed behind the house.
I told your mother all about it.
If it happens again, I'm calling the police.
Do you hear me? Now, tell me the truth.
Did you have anything to do with that mess in town? Oh, you gonna kill me? Go on, do it.
(growling) Just like I thought.
You couldn't have possibly killed those people.
You don't have the guts.
Shut your piehole, Dora! Or I will kill you! Oh, really? Then kill me.
Go on! I dare you! I hate you, Dora.
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! Believe me, boy, I hate you, too.
(phone ringing) Hello? I got to cut out.
I can't do this.
STANLEY: Hey.
Calm down.
Did you do what I told you? Yes.
I'm in.
Okay.
Well, what's wrong? (sighs) The freaks.
They're everywhere.
Pinheads.
Stump girl.
Seal man.
Even when I close my eyes, I still see them.
They give me the heebie-jeebies.
You won't believe what I ran into today.
Excuse me.
I thought customers weren't allowed back here.
Well, they're not.
She's one of us.
Bette, Dot, meet Esmeralda, our new spiritualist.
Come by my tent anytime.
I'll give you a free reading.
I'm sure that's not the only thing you give away for free.
Come on.
STANLEY: Conjoined twins? We hit the jackpot! Where are they attached? Do they have four limbs or eight? What's the difference? The size of the jar I have to get.
You never said anything about murder.
I'm not spending the rest of my life in jail.
Nobody cares what happens to a freak.
The only proper question is how we display the body: under formaldehyde or vacuum-sealed? Trust me, you do what I tell you, we are gonna break the bank on this one.
I'll be there, but after I take care of my business.
MAGGIE: Shit on a stick, I got to go.
(siren wailing) There's a curfew out tonight, starting at 8:00.
Still got a good ten minutes, bub.
One tick over, I'm hauling you two right to jail.
Oh I'm sorry, Officer.
I had to call my grandmother.
She has been awful sick lately.
I promise we'll head home right away.
Look, you look like a nice, Christian girl.
Take my advice.
Stop hanging around with troublemakers.
Why are we getting rousted? 'Cause of Meep? Or what you cops did to him? Keep talking, motormouth.
My watch is running fast.
Cool it.
We're going now.
Right, Jimmy? (engine revs) Yeah, let's blow.
Place smells like pig shit, anyway.
STANLEY: You know (exhales) I've never done it with a Viking god before.
But, uh aren't you missing something, Thor? What, a hammer? (chuckles) A sword.
Come here.
Now take off my pants.
Holy Christ.
(chuckles) I can't wait for Halloween to be over.
All the kids jacked up on sugar.
I'd rather that than have them watch TV.
I swear, Dragnet is going to be the downfall of American culture.
(laughs) (footsteps) (gasps) Hey, give it back! I might give you some of my candy if you promise to do my chores for a week.
(quiet breathing) And you call me Master Mike from now on.
Say it.
"Master Mike, I promise to do all your chores for a week.
" What's the matter with you? (screaming) (clattering) What happened? Where's your brother? The clown took him.
You don't come in until here, stupid.
Well, I can't do anything right when you talk to me so mean.
DOT: You're twenty minutes late.
We've decided it's a bad idea.
You never know what could summon Mr.
Mordrake.
Even a rehearsal is risky business.
DOT: You carnies are so superstitious.
He's a myth.
I am the only myth around here.
They're not concerned about Mordrake.
I'm trying to tell Of course they're not.
Simply a superstition.
You two run along, now.
A clairvoyant has sworn to me that a very important gentleman will be arriving very soon to reinvigorate my career.
So I must rehearse some new material.
DOT: Well, you can rehearse when we're done.
We're the headliners.
A bit of applause for a two-headed girl who sings a song, and you think you can push me out? We should probably discuss our salary, since we are now the star attraction.
How dare you? I have been a star for decades now! You are nothing nothing but a two-headed freak stumbling around the stage, squeaking out a crummy tune.
Go back to your tent and stay there, or I will take you into the swamp and leave you there.
What are you staring at? Hmm? Do you value your jobs around here?! Then walk those long legs up to the piano.
And you pick up those drumsticks and start banging.
Schnell! In the land of gods and monsters I was an angel Living in the garden of evil Screwed up, scared Doing anything that I needed Shining like a fiery beacon You got that medicine I need Fame, liquor, love Give it to me slowly Put your hands on my waist Do it softly Me and God, we don't get along So now I sing No one's gonna take my soul away I'm living like Jim Morrison Headed towards a messed-up holiday Motel sprees, sprees and I'm singing Oh, yeah, give it to me This is heaven, what I truly want It's innocence lost Innocence lost When you talk, it's like a movie And you're making me crazy 'Cause life imitates art If I get a little prettier Can I be your baby? You tell me life isn't that hard No one's gonna take my soul away I'm living like Jim Morrison Headed towards a messed-up holiday Motel, sprees, sprees and I'm singing Oh, yeah, give it to me This is heaven, what I truly want It's innocence lost Innocence lost.
(music ends) (indistinct whispering) (huffs) (indistinct whispering) My companions startled you.
My sincerest apologies.
A good All Hallow's Eve to you, madam.
Edward Mordrake.
At your service.
Well I didn't summon you.
It matters not who summoned us.
Only that we have been summoned.
And now, sadly, we are here and cannot leave this place until we have added to our coterie of freakish companions.
You say "companions.
" You-you mean "victims.
" It is not in my heart to make you or anyone else a victim, my good woman.
But the visage is unrelenting.
I am its slave.
(indistinct whispering) Silence! We have intruded upon this lady uninvited.
Show some courtesy.
You can't take me with you.
There's so much I have left to do.
And my time is short as it is.
Would that it were in my power to grant reprieve.
But if the vile countenance a-judges you a pure freak-- corrupted of flesh, befouled of soul-- there can be no petition.
Yes! You are vile! Vile and malevolent! I am sorry.
There are questions which must be asked.
As indelicate as they may be.
And you must be candid.
If you lie it will know.
(indistinct whispering) You were not always in such a degraded state as this.
You have fallen.
Yeah.
The story of your fall.
It would hear it from your own mouth.
It's true.
I have fallen.
More than once.
And this backwater ain't the worst of it.
I had an act once.
Slick as anything in vaudeville.
I'd surround myself with the prettiest girls I could find.
And then I'd dare the audience to look at anything but me.
And they loved me for it.
I was the biggest thing to come out of Baltimore since Wallis Simpson.
Now, she landed herself a monarch.
I ended up with something else-- Dell.
I think maybe he really he really did love me at first.
I know I was crazy about him.
He became my manager.
Put all kinds of ideas in my head.
Told me I shouldn't be doing popular tunes and playing for laughs.
He said rich folks don't pay for low comedy.
They want culture and art.
He convinced me to leave the three-ring when the show went to Paris.
He'd manage me exclusive and we'd make a million.
Me as the bearded Bernhardt.
(crowd booing) Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name (booing continues) But if thou wilt not be but sworn my love.
Well, nobody wanted to see some hairy broad reciting the classics.
They laughed all right.
This time I wasn't in on the joke.
I was the joke.
How dreadful for you.
(indistinct whispering) What's it saying? It knows you have a deeper pain.
A darker shame? Yes.
When you returned to the States, what happened? We were penniless.
I was carrying Dell's child.
We couldn't find carny work.
And I couldn't do my act-- not in that condition.
So, Dell arranged a different kind of command performance.
DELL: Grab some peanuts on your way in, sir.
Thank you so much.
Step right up, folks.
It's the marvel of the century.
A live freak birth.
Something like you've never seen before.
Right before your very eyes, a live freak birth.
Right this way, sir! Right before your very eyes, folks! (screaming) (baby crying) WOMAN: Look at his hands! It's a monster! (gasps) It's two bits to hold the monster baby! Two bits! Would you like to hold him, sir? Two bits! You, ma'am! Hold the monster baby! It's a freak! (crying): My poor boy.
How could I have done that to him? He's never known anything but exploitation right from the start.
I cursed my own child.
Thank you for your pains, dear lady.
I'm sorry you had to relive any of this.
I relive it every day.
(indistinct whispering) (sniffles) I'm ready.
Take me to hell with you.
I deserve it.
(demonic whisper): Not the one.
(footsteps approaching) MAN: Trick or treat? Trick or treat, trick or treat? Find me something good to eat Trick or treat, trick or treat? Trick or treat? Trick or treat, trick or treat, trick or treat? (gasps) Trick or treat? Trick or treat, trick or treat? Trick or treat? Trick! (gasping) Too short.
Not for long.
Eureka! That'll do.
(gasps) (footsteps approaching) (crying) More fun.
They highlight the strange wonders of the human body, and illuminate the horrors of disease and disorder, death.
For these poor souls, Halloween must have come as a great relief.
The one ordained day they were allowed to hide behind costumes.
And here at the American Morbidity Museum, we not only embrace their differences, we celebrate them.
(chuckles) So, please have some candy.
Enjoy that, enjoy the tour.
See you in the next room.
Dr.
Mansfield.
Miss Hemmings.
Have you met my lab assistant Miss Rothschild? Oh.
She may be my brightest pupil yet.
Oh.
That's not true.
Now, we don't mean to rush you, but we do have a bona fide offer that expires in an hour.
Did your appraiser look at the specimen? He has.
Let me go get him.
These poor people.
Doomed to lie here and be gawked at all day.
Well, they were losers in life.
At least now they have some value.
Careful.
The Smithsonian offered me $500 for that.
Then they're a bunch of fools.
I beg your pardon, sir.
I have a double degree from Harvard University.
You can't talk to me like that.
Yes, about your double degree.
We called Harvard, asking after a Sylvester Mansfield.
They have no record of you.
Did you know that it's a felony to sell a fraudulent medical specimen? We have every right to call the police.
And I will call the New England Journal of Medicine.
I'll tell them how rudely we've been treated here.
I brought you an authentic baby Sasquatch.
It is a fetal goat with the jaw of a cat sewn onto it.
A what?! This is outrageous.
We're leaving.
Oh.
Take your Sasquatch with you.
(clears throat) You're obviously inventive people.
If you brought me something authentic, something truly priceless, I Well, I wouldn't ask many questions.
In fact, my business is in trouble.
Without new exhibits, even our most loyal patrons would rather stay at home and watch Ed Sullivan.
Where does this stuff come from? All over.
Private collectors, and And, you know, I used to get calls from freak shows when one of theirs would pass, but they're mostly gone now.
Just maybe one or two.
Um Coney Island and South Florida.
What's this over here? Oh.
The conjoined liver of famed Siamese Twins Chang and Eng.
Just the liver? How much is that worth? $5,000.
That's fascinating.
Well, we have to catch our plane.
Catch our train.
Oh.
Have a lovely day.
You, as well.
Coney Island's a little cold this time of year.
How about Florida? CHILD: Trick or treat.
(man laughs maniacally) (child screams) CHILD: Trick or treat! Jessie, go up and get some candy.
I want to wait.
(children screaming) (laughs) What was that all about? She's terrified of clowns.
So guess what her brother dressed as.
I had to drag her to come out and go trick-or-treating.
Kids.
It seems like a good idea at the time.
JANE: Is it me, or is it much more crowded this year? It's those kids from Jupiter.
No trick-or-treating because of the curfew.
Hmm.
I thought they caught the guy.
Some circus performer? Mm.
(brush rustling) (gasps) Jessie.
I saw a clown.
It was a really scary one.
Remember what we talked about? How sometimes we can get confused because of our imagination? He was real.
It's Halloween, Jessie.
There's clowns everywhere.
Now, come on.
Let's go get some more candy with these kids.
(sighs) I swear, I'll never understand that girl.
I find clowns delightful.
(gate creaks) ETHEL: Ow.
(inhales sharply) You're awful quiet.
That must mean the biopsy came back positive.
Uh, yes.
You tested positive for cirrhosis of the liver.
It says here that there's a good deal of fibrosis.
Yeah, well, my liver's tough as an old boot.
We can fix her up, can't we? I don't think so.
Well, I ain't touched a drop since Jimmy's 18th birthday.
Well, you could've had this for a long time.
Cirrhosis can be sneaky.
Well, I ain't gonna die anytime soon, am I? I never liked that question.
I believe hope is strong medicine.
I don't like to tell patients to, uh, give up hope.
Eh, we're all hopeless, Doc.
We're all gonna die.
Pardon me, miss, but the older I get, the harder it gets for me to deliver the bad news.
Never been good at it.
Especially for someone like yourself, who must have had a hard life and seen the worst in human nature.
Eh, I got plenty to be grateful for.
Give it to me straight.
How long have I got? Anywhere from six months to a year.
Well, shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Ain't nothing we can do, huh? Keep the meat to a minimum.
And don't take a single drop of alcohol.
That'll only accelerate things.
I'm sorry.
I just couldn't be more sorry.
Really.
You know what, Doc? (sniffles) I ain't crying 'cause you told me I'm gonna die.
I'm crying 'cause you're the f you're the first doctor ever treat me with respect.
(sniffles) I just c-can't help thinking my whole life might have gone different if I'd met you sooner.
(laughter, lively music playing) PAUL: Hey, come on, Suzi, have a go! (laughing) Whoa! Whoa! (laughs) Hey, come on, girls! Between the two of you, you could win this game in one dunk! No, thank you.
We just washed our hair.
Where have you been? I was digging a grave.
For Meep.
He was a child.
They all are.
I can't protect any of them.
You can't blame yourself.
Why not? They needed a leader and I failed them.
Stop! Stop it! What's wrong with you all?! (music stops) BETTE: Dot.
Meep is dead! Don't you care?! You're being disrespectful.
Look how much pain Jimmy's in.
This is wrong! We should remember Meep by working even harder.
Maybe dedicating the show today to his memory.
The show? It's Halloween.
No freak performs on Halloween.
Any idiot knows that.
It's not fair.
They're new.
They don't know about that old superstition.
Not superstition.
It's true.
BETTE: What is? Why we don't perform on Halloween.
On accounts of Edward Mordrake.
Who? Edward Mordrake.
Aristocrat who lived in the middle 1800s.
He was heir to all kinds of titles.
Could've been a duke or a lord or some shit, things had been different.
Things are never different.
An Englishman of noble birth, Edward was a young man with fine attainments.
He was a scholar.
He was a poet.
Musician of rare ability.
DOT: So what was wrong with him? ETHEL: He had another face on the back of his head.
Hideous as a devil.
No one else could hear what it said, but it whispered to Edward incessantly of things only spoken of in hell.
(indistinct whispering) He tried to kill it.
(whispering stops) (water gurgling) Many times in many ways.
But it wouldn't die.
So what happened to him? He went mad.
His family had him committed to the crazy house at Bedlam.
Truth be told, they were only too happy to have the family freak banished from sight.
In the crazy house, he wrote poetry.
Worked on an unfinished opera.
Anything to keep his mind off the demon whisperings, but he never got any relief.
It was telling him to do things.
Commanding him.
One night, Edward escaped the asylum.
And he ended up where we all do.
At the freak show.
They billed him as the Two Faced Prince.
And he'd show off all the refined skills he'd learned as the scion of one of England's grand families.
And then he'd take a bow.
(screams) And he was happy? He'd found a home with others like himself.
There was no one like Edward.
He wasn't happy.
One Halloween night, Edward snapped.
He murdered every freak in the troupe.
And then he hung himself.
Legend has it that even in death, the demon face was smiling.
So, we don't perform on Halloween night out of respect? PAUL: Out of fear, darling.
If any freak performs on Halloween, they summon the spirit of Edward Mordrake and his demon half-face.
Once he appears, he never leaves alone.
That whispering face will choose one more freak to take with him back to hell.
What a bunch of bunk! What are you trying to scare them for? It's not bunk.
It's true.
I can swear to it.
In '32, when I was with Barnum, they made us perform on Halloween.
Well something visited the circus grounds that night.
'Cause the next morning, Clyde Hendershot, the astounding human cannonball, all three feet, four inches of him, was found hanging in his caravan.
Yup.
His head twisted clean around.
His dead eyes staring backwards.
A smile on his face.
Just like Edward Mordrake's second face.
Enough.
Hey.
What? What the hell was all that about? Carny lore.
Not that.
The drinking! Ma, you swore off the stuff.
Well, I'm swearing back on.
Why? What is it-- Dell? You been on edge ever since he got here.
You don't know shit! Matter of fact, I'm glad he's here.
We need a man around this dump.
Means you're free to go.
Oh, don't give me that look.
You know you been itching to take off.
GLORIA: Dora? (clock chiming) I need your help.
It's almost sundown.
Why do I got to be a bird this year? Because Woody Woodpecker is Dandy's favorite cartoon.
Have you practiced? (imitates Woody Woodpecker's laugh) That'll do in a pinch.
Do you think this will cheer him up? Here he comes.
Ask him yourself.
How was your nap, darling? Are you ready for some Halloween fun? Yes.
I can't wait to go trick-or-treating and terrorize the neighborhood.
There's a curfew.
No one's going out.
Curfews are for the poor people.
We can have our own Halloween here.
We'll have a costume contest.
Can you guess who I am? Doris Duke.
Again.
(laughs) Dandy, you're so clever.
Dora? Bring out Dandy's costume.
Dora worked on it for a month, with my guidance, of course.
Howdy Doody? Howdy Doody! You ungrateful little Dora, if Dandy doesn't like his costume, we'll make another.
There's no time for that, Mother! I'll go into town and buy one.
I think I can make it if I still hurry.
(screams) Your mother might be afraid of you, but I'm not.
Clean up this mess, maid.
I work for Miss Gloria.
Halloween was Meep's favorite holiday.
He loved to dress up.
Hear the screams of the of the kids when he'd sneak the occasional chicken head in their bag of candy.
It was the one day he felt like he could be one of them.
But we know this man.
And he wasn't one of them.
He was better.
We'll all miss you, Meep.
Here's to you, Meep.
It's a little something to lighten the load as you walk through the valley of the shadows.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
JIMMY: We're closed.
There's no show today.
Oh.
I'm not a customer.
I'm looking for a job.
Here? You made a mistake.
Believe me, you don't belong here.
I came all the way from Philadelphia.
My name is Mystic Miss Esmeralda.
I'm a fortune teller.
(chuckles) (Bette crying) BETTE: I never agreed to this! You're being selfish.
I have talent.
And a man who wants to marry me and have babies.
It's all coming true.
But none of it is possible with you here.
He'll never marry you.
Without me, you're just another plain Jane with big dreams.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
I've decided to use the Luck Bone Saw.
What is that? It's the first motorized bone-cutting device that can be sterilized repeatedly without damaging the drive train.
Please no.
Oh, it'll be over before you even feel anything.
I told you.
Tell her, Doctor.
Please don't! I'm begging you! Count backwards from a hundred.
Please don't.
(gas hissing) Thank you, God, for making me separate and whole.
And please take good care of Bette.
BETTE: Wake up, Dot.
Wake up.
Wake up.
(panting) I was having the most beautiful dream.
Why did you wake me? Because I was trapped inside that dream, and for me it was a nightmare.
You can't hold me responsible for my dreams.
It wasn't a dream the last time you tried to kill me.
Aren't you afraid you'd miss me? I'd miss you.
Mean as you are sometimes.
Although sometimes I wonder who you are since we came here.
I'll tell you who I am.
I'm someone who's not afraid to do what it takes.
I'm going to work hard, save my money and find a doctor who will do that surgery.
This life isn't making either one of us happy, Bette.
But one of us will die.
And one of us has a chance at happiness.
(sniffles) (crying) (woman singing in German over speakers) (exhales) Every fortune teller I've ever met came with a darker complexion.
She's not Gypsy, but I think she's the real thing.
(chuckles) You let me be the judge.
I'm not so easily distracted by a pretty face.
(softly): Go.
So, you're a fortune teller? I didn't choose the gift, Elsa.
It chose me.
Show me, Esmeralda.
Tell me my future.
(sighs) (sighs) Spirits are like shadows at night.
Invisible without a guiding light.
They only speak if they sense a receptive audience.
Open your heart, Elsa.
Listen to their words.
(sighs) I see many dark tidings.
In the past, you suffered a grave injustice.
A terrible wrong.
All because of greed and jealousy.
Yeah.
A woman.
She looks like you.
Music.
Your voice, so clear, so so strong.
I can hear them now.
An ovation.
(chuckles) But not for you.
Marlene.
That bitch.
She stole my career.
You see that in the ball? Hmm? She's gone.
But I can hear another song now.
The future.
(sighs) It's your song, Elsa, and it's it's the most heartbreaking music I've ever heard.
(crowd cheering faintly) They're cheering now.
The applause sounds like thunder.
For me? Is there still a chance? It's never too late.
You're like the aster that blooms in the fall.
I see a man standing behind you.
Who is it? An-an elegant, refined stranger.
With dark hair and and piercing eyes.
An impresario.
Under his guidance, he'll make you a star.
(chuckles) (sighs) Oh! Esmeralda? You're hired.
(grunting) Trick or treat? Wowee.
(chuckles) Oh, no, none for me, sweet cheeks.
Got to stay sharp.
(laughs) Mm-hmm.
Looking good, sugar.
Ooh, coming down here and taking over! (giggles) (panting) This place is gonna be good for us.
I can feel it.
Ooh! (moaning) Oh, baby.
Ooh, I've missed you.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Ah, damn it.
Oh.
Sorry, baby.
It's all the weight lifting has got the blood rushing to other places.
Not again, Dell.
I can't take this shit no more.
It's just you came on too strong.
You got to give me some time.
Heard it all before.
Too much hooch, too tired, too cold.
I could get more satisfaction from a doorknob.
(grunting) You should be kissing my boots.
I deserve some goddamn respect! If it wasn't for me, you'd be in the gutter.
Get your paws off of me, or you'll never see me again.
(panting) Desi (door creaks, closes) (organ playing in distance) Son of a bitch! Whew, somebody's mad at somebody.
Fight with Triple Tits? Hey! Don't you talk like that about her.
(chuckles) Come on.
Sit down, share some hooch.
I need to talk to you anyway.
I got a favor to ask.
Drunk and asking for favors? That's not the Ethel I seem to remember.
What was the fight about, anyway? Couldn't get it up? It's none of your business.
What was our problem, you think? Well, you got a beard, for starters.
(chuckles) So, when we conceived Jimmy, you didn't love me at all? Come on, Dell, fess up.
(chuckles) Nah.
Don't you know that men will jump on the first available pussy? I could've been a better dad.
Well, that's the damn truth.
Yeah, listen, he is never, ever to know you're his pa.
Never.
You got that? You're a broken record, Ethel.
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
W-When we was talking about moving to the burbs, and I showed you that brochure for Levittown why'd you lead me on? I led you on for about five minutes.
I felt guilty.
Well, we we never would've made it out there, anyway.
Cookie cutter was never in our cards.
What's with all the questions, Ethel? What, is the booze getting you sentimental? Jimmy's lost.
Your son is floundering.
He's got one foot in this life, one foot out there.
Well, from what I can see, he listens to you pretty good.
Well I'm dying.
Yep.
With any luck, it'll be sooner than later.
He's gonna need some guidance, and preferably from a man.
Come on, can't you be decent? Keep-keep an eye on him, for Christ's sake? Make him get out in the world I was afraid of, make something out of himself.
Weird.
You know what I was wondering this morning? What it would've been like if I'd have stuck around, seen him grow up.
Seen him put on his little Halloween outfit.
What did he like dressing up as? He always wanted to be the same thing.
He wanted to be a soldier.
Boo! (gasps) (laughs) You! (woman humming) (humming continues) (humming) You don't scare me.
I raised you since you were this high.
I found those poor animals you killed behind the house.
I told your mother all about it.
If it happens again, I'm calling the police.
Do you hear me? Now, tell me the truth.
Did you have anything to do with that mess in town? Oh, you gonna kill me? Go on, do it.
(growling) Just like I thought.
You couldn't have possibly killed those people.
You don't have the guts.
Shut your piehole, Dora! Or I will kill you! Oh, really? Then kill me.
Go on! I dare you! I hate you, Dora.
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! Believe me, boy, I hate you, too.
(phone ringing) Hello? I got to cut out.
I can't do this.
STANLEY: Hey.
Calm down.
Did you do what I told you? Yes.
I'm in.
Okay.
Well, what's wrong? (sighs) The freaks.
They're everywhere.
Pinheads.
Stump girl.
Seal man.
Even when I close my eyes, I still see them.
They give me the heebie-jeebies.
You won't believe what I ran into today.
Excuse me.
I thought customers weren't allowed back here.
Well, they're not.
She's one of us.
Bette, Dot, meet Esmeralda, our new spiritualist.
Come by my tent anytime.
I'll give you a free reading.
I'm sure that's not the only thing you give away for free.
Come on.
STANLEY: Conjoined twins? We hit the jackpot! Where are they attached? Do they have four limbs or eight? What's the difference? The size of the jar I have to get.
You never said anything about murder.
I'm not spending the rest of my life in jail.
Nobody cares what happens to a freak.
The only proper question is how we display the body: under formaldehyde or vacuum-sealed? Trust me, you do what I tell you, we are gonna break the bank on this one.
I'll be there, but after I take care of my business.
MAGGIE: Shit on a stick, I got to go.
(siren wailing) There's a curfew out tonight, starting at 8:00.
Still got a good ten minutes, bub.
One tick over, I'm hauling you two right to jail.
Oh I'm sorry, Officer.
I had to call my grandmother.
She has been awful sick lately.
I promise we'll head home right away.
Look, you look like a nice, Christian girl.
Take my advice.
Stop hanging around with troublemakers.
Why are we getting rousted? 'Cause of Meep? Or what you cops did to him? Keep talking, motormouth.
My watch is running fast.
Cool it.
We're going now.
Right, Jimmy? (engine revs) Yeah, let's blow.
Place smells like pig shit, anyway.
STANLEY: You know (exhales) I've never done it with a Viking god before.
But, uh aren't you missing something, Thor? What, a hammer? (chuckles) A sword.
Come here.
Now take off my pants.
Holy Christ.
(chuckles) I can't wait for Halloween to be over.
All the kids jacked up on sugar.
I'd rather that than have them watch TV.
I swear, Dragnet is going to be the downfall of American culture.
(laughs) (footsteps) (gasps) Hey, give it back! I might give you some of my candy if you promise to do my chores for a week.
(quiet breathing) And you call me Master Mike from now on.
Say it.
"Master Mike, I promise to do all your chores for a week.
" What's the matter with you? (screaming) (clattering) What happened? Where's your brother? The clown took him.
You don't come in until here, stupid.
Well, I can't do anything right when you talk to me so mean.
DOT: You're twenty minutes late.
We've decided it's a bad idea.
You never know what could summon Mr.
Mordrake.
Even a rehearsal is risky business.
DOT: You carnies are so superstitious.
He's a myth.
I am the only myth around here.
They're not concerned about Mordrake.
I'm trying to tell Of course they're not.
Simply a superstition.
You two run along, now.
A clairvoyant has sworn to me that a very important gentleman will be arriving very soon to reinvigorate my career.
So I must rehearse some new material.
DOT: Well, you can rehearse when we're done.
We're the headliners.
A bit of applause for a two-headed girl who sings a song, and you think you can push me out? We should probably discuss our salary, since we are now the star attraction.
How dare you? I have been a star for decades now! You are nothing nothing but a two-headed freak stumbling around the stage, squeaking out a crummy tune.
Go back to your tent and stay there, or I will take you into the swamp and leave you there.
What are you staring at? Hmm? Do you value your jobs around here?! Then walk those long legs up to the piano.
And you pick up those drumsticks and start banging.
Schnell! In the land of gods and monsters I was an angel Living in the garden of evil Screwed up, scared Doing anything that I needed Shining like a fiery beacon You got that medicine I need Fame, liquor, love Give it to me slowly Put your hands on my waist Do it softly Me and God, we don't get along So now I sing No one's gonna take my soul away I'm living like Jim Morrison Headed towards a messed-up holiday Motel sprees, sprees and I'm singing Oh, yeah, give it to me This is heaven, what I truly want It's innocence lost Innocence lost When you talk, it's like a movie And you're making me crazy 'Cause life imitates art If I get a little prettier Can I be your baby? You tell me life isn't that hard No one's gonna take my soul away I'm living like Jim Morrison Headed towards a messed-up holiday Motel, sprees, sprees and I'm singing Oh, yeah, give it to me This is heaven, what I truly want It's innocence lost Innocence lost.
(music ends) (indistinct whispering) (huffs) (indistinct whispering) My companions startled you.
My sincerest apologies.
A good All Hallow's Eve to you, madam.
Edward Mordrake.
At your service.
Well I didn't summon you.
It matters not who summoned us.
Only that we have been summoned.
And now, sadly, we are here and cannot leave this place until we have added to our coterie of freakish companions.
You say "companions.
" You-you mean "victims.
" It is not in my heart to make you or anyone else a victim, my good woman.
But the visage is unrelenting.
I am its slave.
(indistinct whispering) Silence! We have intruded upon this lady uninvited.
Show some courtesy.
You can't take me with you.
There's so much I have left to do.
And my time is short as it is.
Would that it were in my power to grant reprieve.
But if the vile countenance a-judges you a pure freak-- corrupted of flesh, befouled of soul-- there can be no petition.
Yes! You are vile! Vile and malevolent! I am sorry.
There are questions which must be asked.
As indelicate as they may be.
And you must be candid.
If you lie it will know.
(indistinct whispering) You were not always in such a degraded state as this.
You have fallen.
Yeah.
The story of your fall.
It would hear it from your own mouth.
It's true.
I have fallen.
More than once.
And this backwater ain't the worst of it.
I had an act once.
Slick as anything in vaudeville.
I'd surround myself with the prettiest girls I could find.
And then I'd dare the audience to look at anything but me.
And they loved me for it.
I was the biggest thing to come out of Baltimore since Wallis Simpson.
Now, she landed herself a monarch.
I ended up with something else-- Dell.
I think maybe he really he really did love me at first.
I know I was crazy about him.
He became my manager.
Put all kinds of ideas in my head.
Told me I shouldn't be doing popular tunes and playing for laughs.
He said rich folks don't pay for low comedy.
They want culture and art.
He convinced me to leave the three-ring when the show went to Paris.
He'd manage me exclusive and we'd make a million.
Me as the bearded Bernhardt.
(crowd booing) Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name (booing continues) But if thou wilt not be but sworn my love.
Well, nobody wanted to see some hairy broad reciting the classics.
They laughed all right.
This time I wasn't in on the joke.
I was the joke.
How dreadful for you.
(indistinct whispering) What's it saying? It knows you have a deeper pain.
A darker shame? Yes.
When you returned to the States, what happened? We were penniless.
I was carrying Dell's child.
We couldn't find carny work.
And I couldn't do my act-- not in that condition.
So, Dell arranged a different kind of command performance.
DELL: Grab some peanuts on your way in, sir.
Thank you so much.
Step right up, folks.
It's the marvel of the century.
A live freak birth.
Something like you've never seen before.
Right before your very eyes, a live freak birth.
Right this way, sir! Right before your very eyes, folks! (screaming) (baby crying) WOMAN: Look at his hands! It's a monster! (gasps) It's two bits to hold the monster baby! Two bits! Would you like to hold him, sir? Two bits! You, ma'am! Hold the monster baby! It's a freak! (crying): My poor boy.
How could I have done that to him? He's never known anything but exploitation right from the start.
I cursed my own child.
Thank you for your pains, dear lady.
I'm sorry you had to relive any of this.
I relive it every day.
(indistinct whispering) (sniffles) I'm ready.
Take me to hell with you.
I deserve it.
(demonic whisper): Not the one.
(footsteps approaching) MAN: Trick or treat? Trick or treat, trick or treat? Find me something good to eat Trick or treat, trick or treat? Trick or treat? Trick or treat, trick or treat, trick or treat? (gasps) Trick or treat? Trick or treat, trick or treat? Trick or treat? Trick! (gasping) Too short.
Not for long.
Eureka! That'll do.
(gasps) (footsteps approaching) (crying) More fun.