Batman s04e03 Episode Script

Poor baby.
I used to be just like you.
A child of the night, wild and free.
I was the cat who walked by herself, and the city was my hunting ground.
I'd prowl through Gotham each evening going where I liked and taking whatever I wanted.
Until I met him.
I gave him my best fight, but in the end kitty got her claws clipped.
Had to promise I'd be a good little pet and walk on a leash.
Even if it killed me.
Oh, you just say that to all the beautiful girls.
Selina? Excuse me.
Selina? "Extinction.
" I can relate to that.
You're in a cheery mood.
Giving up Catwoman hasn't been easy, Bruce.
I miss the excitement, the danger.
Sometimes I feel so tempted.
- Even though you'd be risking prison? - Tell me I'm not in a cage now.
Bruce Wayne.
I wondered where you'd been hiding yourself.
And whom, may I ask, is your attractive date? - Veronica Vreeland, meet Selina Kyle.
- We've met.
- At the wildlife fundraiser last year? - Oh, of course.
- Love what you've done to your hair.
- Thanks.
Since you're so devoted to wildlife, Selina I can't wait to hear what you think of the museum's new conservation hall.
I had it built in honor of my grandfather, Stanton Vreeland.
He was the first to realize the importance of preserving rare animals.
Not surprising, considering how many of them he obliterated.
Excuse me? Stanton Vreeland was a playboy sportsman who'd shoot anything that wandered into his gunsight.
He had to preserve animals or he'd have nothing left to shoot.
- Is that right? Most of these critters are gone thanks to trigger-happy jerks like old Grandpa.
- Selina.
But, Bruce, Miss Vreeland asked me what I thought.
I think you've said enough.
Yes, perhaps I have.
Just once I'd like to throw a party without some kook showing up.
Excuse me.
Well, that was pretty rude.
Just the cat in me, I guess.
Look, Bruce, it was sweet of you to invite me, but I don't fit in here.
Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in anywhere.
Taxi.
- Your ride, Miss Kyle.
- Hey.
What the? - Let me out, you big ape.
- She's a live one.
In two seconds, that'll be more than I can say about you.
Calm down, pussycat.
We're all friends here.
Dummy, don't keep our pretty guest in the dark.
Yes, sir, Mr.
ScarFace.
That's better.
You gotta be kidding.
What's she laughing at? My fly ain't open, is it? - No, sir.
- So, what's the gag? Oh, come on.
You know.
"What's the gag?" Can it, sister.
This is ScarFace you're dealing with and I don't stand for no disrespect.
I'd do as he says, ma'am.
Mr.
ScarFace can be quite insistent.
I don't think anyone's talking to you.
- No, sir.
No, sir.
- Right.
- What do you want with me? - My boys happened to be in the museum when they saw your little set-to with Miss Ronnie V.
They also seen you licking your whiskers at the sight of Ronnie's pretty sparklers.
You're boring me, log.
What if I could provide you with a foolproof plan for snatching those rocks with no risk of you getting caught? Pass.
Kitty's been staying in at night.
Not the greatest, but it beats the pound, if you know what I mean.
That's a darn shame.
I thought for sure you'd want a chance to get even with the Vreelands.
Not just for yourself, you understand but for all those poor little stuffed critters what never had the chance to fight back.
- Oh, barf.
- It's a fifty-fifty cut.
Take it or leave it.
You in, or what? You know what, Isis? Extinction's for wimps.
Mastodon, check.
Cave bear, check.
Saber-tooth.
Well, where did you come from? Poor girl.
Must've wandered in and got lost.
I'll let you out back.
Excuse me, Mr.
ScarFace, but isn't it cruel to take advantage of that nice Miss Kyle? Hold my hat, will you? That's what you get for going soft on me.
Yes, sir.
There.
The guard's putting the cat out like I planned.
Catwoman should have all the time she needs to lift the jewels and split.
This one's for the Vreelands.
But plans can change, can't they, Rhino? Right, boss.
Great.
Someone else is hitting the place.
Okay, boys, to work.
Sorry, kitty.
You're taking the fall.
Hold it.
Could you please give me a hand? This dinosaur seems to have fallen on me.
- How did you? - It's a dull story, handsome.
The Catwoman.
Watch out.
- Where is she? - Couldn't have missed her.
Looks like the hunt's on again, Isis.
I think a quick trip out of town is in order.
Don't buy your ticket yet.
What a pleasant surprise.
Though I should warn you, breaking and entering is against the law.
You would know.
Care to explain what you were doing at the museum tonight? Look, I was there earlier for a party, and I kind of lost my temper.
I went back to apologize, and the place was empty, except for the burglars.
I had my outfit in the car, and I thought if I nailed the robbers I could work up some points with the cops.
Maybe even with you.
I know how bad this looks for me, but it wasn't my fault.
Would you come back to the museum and talk to the authorities? I suppose, if you're with me.
- After all, we do make a good team.
- When we're on the same side.
The police are still talking to the guard.
That gives us a few minutes to look around.
I was looking at this exhibit earlier.
It's brand-new.
Why would they remove the animals so soon? This lock's been sprung.
Our thief is clever, using dummy cards to cover his tracks.
An extinct-animal trophy is worth a fortune to the crook who can fence it.
"All those poor little stuffed critters.
" That's what he was after all along.
You're not telling me something.
Know what's wrong with our relationship? You always let me get too close.
Excuse me.
I have a date with a scratching post.
We don't have to make this difficult.
But somehow we always do.
Selina? In here.
That's right, Penguin.
I got your bird just like I promised.
Of course, it'll cost you extra.
Hey, you don't want it, fine.
I can always use it for pillow stuffing.
See there? I knew you'd be reasonable.
While I got you on the horn, can I interest you in a Tasmanian tiger? A steal at only 2 mil.
No, huh? That's okay.
I got a client dying to get her paws on it.
I thought I saw a pussycat.
Let go.
You know, I never had much use for animals, except Rhino here.
Thanks, boss.
Then it hit me, some rich geeks will pay big bucks for critters they can't shoot no more.
You know what these things are worth dead? - More than my life, I bet.
- You win, kitten.
I needed a dummy to keep the cops busy while I grabbed the stiffs.
So you conned me into that phony jewel robbery.
Too bad for you, you figured it out.
Now we're gonna find out if there really is more than one way to skin a cat.
- Rhino.
- No! Lousy fleabag.
Oh, great.
Him, I don't need.
I don't know whether to bite you or kiss you.
Later.
Get me out of here.
Hurry.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
- Put me down.
- Sure.
Mr.
ScarFace.
Let's let the chips fall where they may.
Get me off of here.
Dummy, help me.
Help, help! Someone do something.
Please, let me save him.
Dummy, please.
That's one way to remove a splinter.
What's wrong, Ventriloquist? Cat got your tongue? Please, I never hurt you.
ScarFace, he's another person.
Not me, really.
But he's inside you somewhere.
And I'm going to keep scratching until I find him.
Don't make it harder on yourself.
- He cost me my freedom.
- No.
You gave it up.
I suspected there was more to this business than you were telling.
So I put a transmitter on your cat back at your apartment.
It led me here in time to hear your confession.
- Why did you do it, Selina? - I have to be who I am.
I realize now I can't change that.
Like I told someone else tonight it's just the cat in me.
It's priceless, Batman.
The last of its kind.
Will you take me in or let it become extinct again? The lady or the tiger, darling.
Your choice.
I am the cat who walks by herself.