Being Mary Jane (2013) s04e03 Episode Script
Getting Real
1 MARY JANE: Previously, on "Being Mary Jane" You okay with me having kids? Yeah.
I like kids.
Your driver, did you tip him? Because it looks like he's waiting for something.
I should have known an Old Spice man was your type.
First of all, you wouldn't know what my type is, and second of all, we never said we were exclusive.
I'm done trying to figure you out.
It's so lonely.
I'm so tired.
So, stop running.
- Take a risk.
- So, you forgive me? They would never say it out loud, but the assumption is that there can only be one black woman at the table.
Well, I think there's room for both of us.
What do you say? Are you with me? Yeah, I'm with you.
I built that charity from nothing.
It was my brand.
Now it's poison.
That is not how I wanted it to happen.
Kara, she mentored me.
I wasn't just gonna let her whole world blow up without telling her first.
I brought you into my world, Mary Jane, me.
I got you this damn job.
MARY JANE: What are you doing here? - I'm your new senior producer.
- Producer here? When Ronda Sales calls and invites you on the biggest morning show in the country, you answer.
Autumn in New York Why does it seem so inviting A private elevator? A killer view of Manhattan.
[laughs.]
I feel like I'm home already.
Too bad it's not for sale.
How, pray tell, does my little brother, who used to twirl signs on the street corner, afford this? My old boss in LA hooked me up with one of the best real estate firms in New York and I am killing it right now.
In six months? Have you even had time to build up a clientele? I just tell people that my sister is about to be the next Ronda Sales.
Ha.
I wouldn't count on that.
What happened? I thought the deal was all set.
Justin happened for starters.
Okay, who's Justin? A long, tragic story.
- But anyway - Okay.
How much does something like this cost? - $15 million.
- What? Yeah, we're not in ATL anymore, Letta.
Four percent of $15 million is $600,000.
Oh, my God, did I just say that? - Yeah.
- I did.
Woo.
That's a lot of money, but it still doesn't afford this.
This belongs to a client and I'm managing it for them while they're out of the country.
So, tell me, have there been any naked girls on that white couch? It's not like that, Letta.
I promise you.
Look, can we just focus on what you're looking for, all right? You have to be out of that hotel pretty soon, so, what are we talking? You want a two-bedroom, large kitchen? We're talking this.
- I want this.
- This.
But with a lot less zeroes.
[quiet conversation.]
I should have listened to you about Ronda.
I swear I wake up thinking about her every morning.
[laughs.]
Oh, that's water under the bridge.
We have a much bigger problem now.
It's a frickin' boys' club.
Yeah, Justin had a knack for sucking up to the higher ups.
It was the same damn thing in Atlanta.
Jackass.
KARA: I hustled my way to this network so I could make the jump to nightly news.
- And you will.
- Not without big stories.
Still no word on covering the Supreme Court nominees? KARA: Unh-unh.
With Justin here, Garrett won't even look in my damn direction.
I was looking to make history here, you know, be the first woman to run this show.
But Mr.
Smooth Operator wants it just as bad as I do.
It's 2008 all over again.
I'm Hillary and a fine-ass Black man is trying to kick my damn ass.
So, we figure out how to get killer stories.
JUSTIN: Where's Natalie? KARA: I don't know.
Um Editing maybe? Why? We just got an exclusive with New York second baseman Orlando Lagos.
Is Natalie covering it? No.
No.
Aaron is, so, we've gotta bump her segment.
Wait, wait, this cooking segment Kara spent all morning working on? Uh, yes.
Look, it's a solid segment.
You know, I'm sure it'll come back around.
[laughs.]
It's an app called "Watzigwan.
" You can take video, pictures, add filters, and your followers can leave comments.
And how's this different from Snapchat? Way more emojis.
Facebook's gonna eventually buy it for billions.
Being up on the latest apps is sexy, it's current.
It appeals to the younger demo.
We can use it to promote the show.
I mean, our viewers love it when we try out the the gadgets.
Great idea.
What else we got? How about the, uh, charter school teacher who was caught on video berating a second grader? She apologized, didn't she? Well, they're alleging it wasn't an isolated incident.
American kids are too coddled.
The rest of the world is leaving us in the dust.
We need to toughen up.
Well, I I think it's a little more complicated than tough love.
I mean, this is an ivy league educated woman and she was teaching predominantly underprivileged kids.
Mostly Black and Latino kids.
The little girl in question she was Black.
Not looking too good.
That much is obvious.
[sighing.]
What do you think, Ronda? I agree, but, um, I like Natalie's take on it.
And she should do it, since her segment was cut.
Well, but isn't Natalie covering the app? I do already have three segments.
She can handle this one just fine.
She also has the interview style we're looking for.
GARRETT: Yeah, you're right.
Natalie will do the, uh, teacher story with Justin.
And Mary Jane, you can take the Watzigwan one.
- And Kara.
- Yeah? You can produce it.
[quietly.]
That's great.
[knocking on glass.]
Oh, Mary Jane.
Come on in.
Garrett, I just want you to know that it's important to me that I do a good job.
And you are.
In the story meeting, it sounded like you had a problem with my interview style.
It's nothing against you.
We've been, uh, doing some in-house evaluations - of on-air talent - I don't mean to interrupt.
Um, but can I assume that Justin is a part of that "we.
" It's part of the show's makeover.
So, Justin has a problem with my interview style.
[heavy sigh.]
Uh Can you grab Justin for me.
It's better if he explains.
Can I just say that I really feel like these evaluations should be unbiased, and I worry that with Justin, it can, you know Hey, man, uh, would you mind telling - Mary Jane what you told me? - Sure.
I, um, I reviewed all the work of each of the correspondents, and since you're new, I, uh, watched a segment from SNC.
I believe this is your interview with Elizabeth Foy.
Oh, right, yeah.
Uh, it went viral and audiences loved it.
I found your approach a little concerning.
It gets the politics out of the way, and it allows the parents to decide what's best for their child.
It's interesting that you mention politics, because some are arguing that your best-selling book is published by a foundation that supports neo-racist authors.
You derail the conversation, then promote your own agenda and there's no subtlety in your approach.
We're both fighting to be heard and fighting to be taken seriously, and to be seen.
So, when it comes down to it, when I look at you, I see an ugly Black woman, too.
That that's an ambush I mean, worse still race baiting.
I mean, I think your demeanor is cold, it's judgmental, it's haughty.
I just don't think that's what our viewers want with their morning coffee.
Look, Mary Jane, we all know you have charisma and charm, and that works for the lighter pieces.
It's the serious interviews.
Um I just don't think they're for you.
This was supposed to be my comeback.
It still is, Mary Jane.
But see what I am up against.
All you need is one great story now and All the great stories are assigned to someone else.
Well, then give them a story that only you can do.
Hey Hello? You've barely eaten.
What is all this, anyway? Old story ideas.
Things I covered, things I never got to cover.
And it's low tech, I know, but I'm hoping something sparks an idea.
You brought all of this for an answer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's probably the first thing I'd grab if the house caught fire.
Are you sure? What about this? Oh, Nick? No, Nick, he's been a constant companion, but, no, Nick can be replaced.
LEE: [laughs.]
Well [kisses hand.]
I'll leave you to it.
[spoon tinkling cup.]
WOMAN ON TV: I feel like I'm getting excluded.
You understand me? And then this bitch corner me.
She got the nerve to get in my face and it's like, well, I can't hit my father, but I'll definitely hit you because Are you enjoying your tea party over there? You'd be drinking tea, too, if it wasn't for a petty, 300-year old rebellion.
No, coffee is the only way to go.
And black, as it should be.
Oh, right Malcolm Xpresso.
How can you be so selfish? I am not selfish! WOMEN: [loudly arguing over top one another.]
Jesus.
Oh, that's right.
Is it too loud? [turns off volume.]
I'm sorry, I'm feeling a little claustrophobic in this hotel room.
I've really gotta get serious about finding a new place.
Do you know what? I do, too.
My sublet's up soon.
Yeah, my brother's showing me a listing tomorrow afternoon.
And New York is so expensive.
- It's so expensive.
- Right? Look, we're not actually having this conversation now, are we? No, 'cause it's way too early for us to be even thinking about this.
Right? Right.
I mean, well, you haven't met my kids.
Exactly.
And I haven't farted in front of you yet.
- Well, you don't need to.
- LEE: [laughing.]
[unintelligible TV conversation.]
LEE: I love this.
What what are you watching? Oh, this? This is brilliant.
If America does on thing great, it is reality TV.
You see this guy? He's a retired point guard.
He has multiple children from I don't know how many different mums.
And let me guess they're all forced to live in a house together.
It's genius! It gives me anxiety.
They're fighting over some endorsement money.
It gets pretty ugly.
I'm pretty sure my niece watches this.
[unintelligible argument continues.]
Goodness gracious, so, who is the ratchet one? She's Mercedes.
She's the star.
She has five children.
Why do you watch this garbage again? Oh! Garbage? Let me tell you, I get so much material from this.
I consider this my Masters in American Culture.
And that's a damn shame.
You can judge, if you want, but when Mercedes is on the screen, I cannot change the channel.
She is tryin' to get in between the relationship with my father.
And that's my father, not yours.
Find your daddy somewhere.
Pffft! What does the league MVP do after winning the pennant three years in a row? - Go for a fourth.
- AARON: [laughs.]
You're not gonna pull a Ken Griffey Jr.
on us and do a one and done, are ya? I had him on my fantasy team for three straight years.
Solid every year.
No, you know, it's just a dream come true being in New York.
I'm just enjoying the ride.
AARON: We're gonna enjoy the ride with ya.
If Aaron can't pull a retirement announcement out of him, no one can.
I don't think he's gonna say much else.
You know, the guy's got three standard answers.
Wrap it up.
AARON: We'll be right back with Orlando Lagos who's gonna show us the key to his signature swing.
He still looks good, too.
He does.
You're have fun doing this? Oh, it's the best job in the world.
How'd you get started, anyway? AARON: I started working for this local TV station.
One of the guys didn't show up one day.
They threw me in front of the camera and, uh, that's pretty much the story.
- Oh, that's great.
- Yeah.
Orlando, hi, my name is Kara Lynch.
- I'm a producer here.
- Hi.
Can I talk to you for a minute in private? These are my boys.
It's all good.
You can say what you've gotta say.
I'll tell you what.
I have a break in about an hour.
Why don't you meet me at the bar around the corner? I think we can make that happen.
Yeah? In private.
Boys MAN ON TV: God, are you kidding? Babe, I need you to stop spending money, okay? "Family Brawlers"? Seriously? - It's so bad, it's good.
- God.
But here comes damn Carmen talkin' outta the side of her neck.
Yeah, that's her little catchphrase.
What do you think about bringing her on the show? Mercedes Wilkerson on live TV? Oh Yeah, yeah, now I think about it, this is a story only I can do.
If I can find a way to relate to this woman, get her on my side, humanize her a little bit, ooh, it could be good.
That woman is a damn train wreck.
She's playing a character.
I'm sure there's a real person under there somewhere and I'm pretty sure I can find it.
So, you wanna turn your app story into a hard-hitting interview.
She could use the app during the show and bring in that young demo that Garrett wants so badly.
- Mmmm - Come on.
You know Justin's gonna shoot this down faster than you can say, "talkin' out the side your neck," right? I've thought about that but I think I've figured a way around that.
So, the weight loss special rounds out the 8:00 a.
m.
block.
Any pitches for 9:00 a.
m.
? - KARA: I have one.
- Yeah.
KARA: How about an interview with the star of the reality series "Family Brawlers"? - Mercedes Wilkerson? - Yep.
Isn't that the crazy woman that put her boyfriend in the hospital with a toaster oven or something? [laughs.]
Yeah, I think it was a microwave, actually.
Well, she's definitely a bit of a wild child.
But she tripled the demo when she appeared on local talk shows in Atlanta, Los Angeles and Chicago.
She's coming out with a new swimwear line we can feature which is a bridge to our 18-34 demo and a cross-promotion with our sister network.
- The "suits" will love that.
- KARA: Yeah.
- Who should do it? - How about Ronda? [laughing.]
No.
No, I don't it's not really my brand.
Come on now.
Come on.
Well, she's very popular with the app that Mary Jane is covering.
GARRETT: Yeah, Mary Jane, you did a good job with that hip hop artist.
Okay, Mercedes is a powder keg.
We don't need Mary Jane to light that fuse.
Let's remember who our intended audience is.
Then you produce it.
Oh, Justin doesn't know the show, so I don't, uh Great.
He'll approach it with fresh eyes and find an interesting angle.
Yeah, let's put it on the board.
Ah, I like it.
I think it's gonna work, guys.
Can I talk to you about that segment in my office? Yeah.
- Nice strategy.
- What do you mean? Getting Kara to pitch a story that you knew Ronda would refuse to do.
I expected Ronda to support her people.
This is serious.
Thanks to you, we're now saddled with the inglorious task of transforming a hood rat into respectable morning TV.
- I have an approach.
- You do? Oh, good.
Here we go.
Enlighten me.
It saddens you, doesn't it? To know that I'm not selling perfume at a kiosk in a mall.
That's what you expected, right, when you got me fired.
I never got you fired.
No, you just bad-mouthed me to higher ups.
You needed to make yourself indispensable and you didn't.
You're so used to being the golden boy.
What are you gonna do now that you're Ronda's puppet? Oh, you didn't know.
Oh, precious, the only reason Ronda has you here is to make my life miserable.
At least I got my job on merit.
Just like you did at CNN and SNC.
Question: do you have what it takes to keep it? You may have an approach to this segment, but the way I see it, you either follow my instructions, or do it your way, and prove to the world why I was right about you.
Let's talk about why we're really here.
Not to enjoy each other's company? [laughs.]
I have a proposition for you.
Okay.
A business proposition.
Your RBI stats have been down, right? That's because of an injury? I'm not interested in doing another interview.
Yeah, but I know you wanna be on camera, hm? Oh, maybe you haven't heard, but I have a pretty damn good day job.
Okay.
A little piece of advice.
You wanna get out while you're at the top of your game.
And if you're looking to be the next Michael Strahan, I can help you.
Are you this bold with everyone? [laughs.]
Everybody.
So, I have to ask what's in it for you? Let's just say making you look good makes me look even better, hm? All right, if I were interested, how, exactly, could you help me? Hey Garrett? Garrett? Garrett? Garrett? Garrett? Garrett, I want to bring Orlando Lagos on the show.
He gonna announce his retirement? - No.
- Then why would we bring him back? Well, I think he'd be great for the college athlete union story.
You want Orlando Lagos to be a sport pundit? Listen, I can work with him, and he has a lot of respect for what we're doing here.
Athletes like him think that we are all the same pinheads with a mic.
No, no, no, no.
I overheard him talking after his interview and he actually likes the way we cover sports.
He says we get it right.
- Okay.
Let's try it.
- Great.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yes! Now what I'm trying to say is KARA: Don't express doubt.
Trust yourself.
College college sports programs bring in millions of dollars every Millions I mean billions.
KARA: Okay, look eyes on me.
Chin down.
Yeah.
Billions of dollars every year and the kids um students uh student athletes, um Okay, don't say "um.
" I told you I don't know anything about this.
Orlando, listen to me.
I know college sports is not your thing, but if you wanna be an anchor, you're gonna have to talk about subjects that don't interest you.
Come over here.
What? Oh, hello? How'd you know my favorite way to relax? No more tie.
Okay.
Hm You know what? what do you do to prep for a game? Do you have any ritual or anything like that? Every player does.
- What are they? - A few things.
I have a playlist I like to play on the day of the game.
- Mm-hm.
- Wear my lucky jersey.
Oh, lucky jersey.
Do you have that here? - Yeah, of course.
- Yes! Go put it on.
Why? 'Cause we've gotta loosen you up.
You're too tight.
Okay - What? - That's your lucky jersey? Hey, I batted 750 my senior year in this jersey.
The record still stands at Atlantic High, you know? You don't need college for stats like that.
Yeah.
You know what? I brought a little something that's gonna help.
- Extra grand one.
- That's right.
- Lady's got fine taste.
- You wait.
Now if this doesn't warm you up, - I don't know what will.
- [glasses clink.]
LEE: You are really putting Mercedes Wilkerson on the morning show.
Yeah.
Tomorrow.
That girl gets famous for throwing a kitchen appliance at her boyfriend, and now she's being interviewed about it on national television.
God bless America.
That is the business that I'm in.
Oh, she should get a spin-off.
Call it "12 Years a Stripper.
" - Hm - No? - Hm - That'll work.
Oh, my brother showed me that loft in Chelsea.
- You like it? - I love it.
Really blows my budget out of the water, but I will still have to paint and replace all the toilets Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You said replace all the toilets? At least the seats.
Are you that much of a germophobe? I'm not a germophobe.
I I'm not.
I just like my shit new, that's all.
Literally.
Well, I'm sure you've got some quirky preferences.
No, not really.
As long as it's got a nice vibe.
Really? Come on.
Okay.
Radiators.
You know, that's one of the things I love about New York the old clanky radiators.
It makes me feel like home.
What's wrong with central heat? Blowing random, mysterious hot air into your apartment? Where's it coming from? Huh.
Anything else? No.
All I need - is a strong bed - Mm-hm.
a beautiful woman.
And a shelf on the pantry for all of your teas.
LEE: [laughs.]
- You think you know me so well.
- Okay, anything else? Um, oh, this is so important.
It's gonna say a lot about you.
- Mm-hm? - Carpet or hardwood? Yeah, that is tough.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what.
Excuse me, man, can we stop here? I wanna know a bit more about your preferences.
Now are you an "S" or an "M"? Oh, I know.
Definitely an "S.
" What makes you say that? Well, you're kinda alpha, type "A" [swats hand.]
like to be in control.
[laughing.]
Too tame, honey.
LEE: [laughing.]
Oh, hello? Oh? - Really? - Yeah.
Well, I am a huge fan of your ass, so Oh, no, honey, not for me.
- For you.
- [laughs.]
No.
That's not my thing.
Although, I don't mind a bit of, uh Oh, yeah.
- [laughs.]
- Yeah.
ORLANDO: Let me break it down for you.
College sports programs bring in billions a year and these student athletes don't see a dime of that money, and they're the ones busting their asses day in and day out.
[claps hands.]
Boom! How was that? [laughs.]
Not bad.
Bullshit.
That was perfect.
Mmm, I wouldn't say perfect.
Like you could do better.
Absolutely.
Yeah, I could.
- Prove it.
- KARA: [laughing.]
Okay.
Okay.
And take this.
You're gonna need it.
- Yeah.
- Unh-huh.
KARA: Okay.
Right.
Unionization would allow athletes the bargaining power they deserve and it would open a way for much-needed medical insurance and disability What are you laughing at? [laughing.]
I'm sorry.
I can't take you seriously like this.
Is that how I look on camera? Oh, no, um, you actually look like this.
Yo, yo, yo, yo! I think all baseball players need to be unionized you know what I'm sayin'? - Get outta here.
- That's what you look like.
I gotta take I gotta take a picture.
[phone camera clicking.]
- Yeah.
- KARA: [laughing.]
- LEE: [panting.]
- MARY JANE: Okay LEE: Oh! Yeah.
Yeah.
- Like this? - Yeah.
Oh.
All good, yeah? [kissing.]
- No, wait.
- Oh, right.
Oh.
[kissing.]
Oh.
I'm gonna I'ma just take Yeah.
Yeah, you should.
- Yeah.
- All right.
[sighing.]
Thank you.
[sighing.]
You did wash it, I hope.
Yes, of course, I washed it.
But it sort of ruined the moment, you know? I I I get it.
But you know what? Good for you for trying something.
Right? Something new for the sacrifice of someone else.
That's what a good relationship is all about, - mama, you know? - [knock on glass.]
KARA: Oh, my God.
Yeah, okay.
We're gonna go shoot Orlando's piece, so, wish me luck.
I will cross my my stink finger for you.
They don't see a penny of that money for exchange for endless travel, long practices, and sometimes lifelong lasting injuries.
Wow, he improved a lot.
Yeah, it just took a little practice, a little loosening up, and, uh, and he's wearing his lucky jersey under his suit, so Oh.
[laughing.]
That helps.
Hey, hangin' out with Lagos.
Impressive.
Oh Hm [laughs.]
Did he mention anything about the retirement rumors? Uh, I I might be able to get an exclusive.
But I'd like to run some story ideas by you, first? - Let's talk.
- Great.
My door is always open, you know? Yeah yeah From Africa no toto You wanna taste my coco I light it up I set it off I tell 'em please no photo No photo JUSTIN: That's not what I want.
Mercedes is here.
Yeah, no, that's that's not gonna work.
All right, hold on.
Oh, I'm gonna go with my own questions for this, but thank you.
Read it or get taken off of the segment.
These are all about her swimwear line.
That's what you pitched us.
Yeah, but I also wanna have a real conversation with her.
You know, have the chance to ask her what it's like to be a Black woman like her living her life in front of the camera, and stuff like that.
It's not about being Black.
It's about swimsuits.
So, I'm back.
Well, listen, let's try and find some time Oh, I see your reality star has arrived.
She's a very colorful character.
You're gonna have your hands full, honey.
Okay, yeah, she's not a head of state.
I get that.
But young people relate to her and that's what it's all about millennials.
You know, the one thing I learned from playing tennis is that to be the best, you have to play with the best, and that is especially true in this newsroom, dear.
You know, young or old.
We're only as good as the people that we sit next to.
Mercedes, thank you so much for coming on the show.
I'm so excited to talk to you about your new swimsuit line.
MERCEDES: It's actually swimsuit lingerie.
MARY JANE: Oh, interesting.
Now what exactly is that? It's underwear for swimming.
Fascinating! Well, let's see what you have here.
Let me show you.
[claps hands.]
Everyone, come in! Woo! This one here tells you that you're confident, sexy, - but you don't need a man.
- MARY JANE: Oh, very nice.
Yeah, this one is called the No-Boodini-Bikini.
Oh, like a bandini.
Like a two-piece.
Wonderful.
That is delightful.
I don't know if it might fit your style or not.
You're more of a one-black-piece type of girl, But I ain't the one to judge, so next time I come on.
MARY JANE: No, no, no, I would absolutely Stay on the high side of the fence, please.
MARY JANE: I would absolutely die to rock one of those very stylish Vogue pieces.
Great for the beach and the bedroom, right? MERCEDES: Sexy and glowin', right? Yeah.
Yeah.
Now where can our audience find these? They can find them at Z-Ban.
Now what's Z-Ban? It's my pop-up shop.
MARY JANE: When and where will this pop-up shop pop up? Oh, you see, that's the secret.
They have to get it after I present it at Watzigwan.
So, it's secret.
Are you sure you don't wanna let us in on that secret? We've got five million viewers right here.
No, what I need is somebody younger who interview me who actually know what the hell they talkin' about - This was such a bad idea.
- when it comes to fashion.
Your ass is too narrow to fit in one of my my suits, you know? Wrap this up, please.
Well, thank you.
You can see Mercedes Wilkerson, and all of the "Family Brawler" misfits every Monday night at 9:00 p.
m.
on BMT.
And for those of you looking to find Mercedes' fashions, you can find those being sold out of the trunk of her car in a parking lot of a strip club.
We'll be right back.
That one's a dirty-ass bitch right there.
OTHERS: [laughing.]
Listen, you pompous-ass, country 'bama bitch.
I was trying to help you.
Help me to what? I don't need your damn help.
- Know what I am? I'm a Mercedes.
- Bitch, you're a Buick.
Okay, you breed for a living.
I breed for rich men.
Now what the hell do you do besides walk around here tryin' to act all White and cute and whatever? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Next time, swallow your kids, bitch.
Swallow my kids? All right now.
I'm gettin' the bad bitch outta you.
Look at you all this time, I thought you were one Black girl tryin' to be White, but I see you, girl.
I like that one right there.
I'm sorry.
Y'all made me come out my face and, um I don't even know how you even work in this dirty-ass place in the first place.
You know, you do what you gotta do.
Well, keep doin' it then, bitch, 'cause you're doin' one hell of a good job.
"Swallow my kids.
" Mary Jane.
Look, I already know what you're gonna say.
You're gonna kamikaze with my name on the line.
I actually hoped you'd prove me wrong.
I knew you couldn't do it.
[knocking on door.]
[sighs.]
What what are you doing here? I'm here to see the listing.
I know I'm early, but I had to get out of the office.
And I know I told you I had an appointment.
So, you're not gonna let me in? [whimsical music.]
PJ, if you are banging some young hottie in there, in a $15 million apartment God, stop.
I told you.
There is nobody in here.
Let me in.
Open the door.
Let me in.
All right.
Letta, this is Gretta.
You have to book her three weeks in advance.
She's just that good.
You should try her sometime.
I'm sorry.
Look, I can't even get mad at you because the old me, he probably would've had a chick in here or something.
- Yeah, I know.
- Oh, for sure, for sure.
But I've had enough drama the past year.
It sounds like you can relate.
- I can relate.
- [laughing.]
The client that owns this place she's really taken me under her wing.
I'm not trying to mess that up.
You have people looking out for you.
I like it.
That's important.
It is.
Look, I'll arrange it so that you can show yourself the place.
But, if you like it, you've gotta let me know asap.
I've already got a couple of clients looking at it, chomping at the bit.
All right.
Nice meeting you, Gretta.
You can go.
[laughing.]
I practically exploded on live TV.
I'm pretty sure my mom had a stroke.
For what it's worth, I thought it was pretty funny.
Oh, wow this place will make me forget all my troubles.
What do you think? It's nice.
It's nice? This place is raving.
Oh, God, don't tell me you're serious about the radiator thing.
[taps panel.]
No, it's cool, I'll just hold off until I find a place with a clanky radiator.
Mary Jane look, if you like this place, buy it.
- Buy it for you.
- Yeah, I am.
I'm just thinking ahead.
Are you, really? I'm sensing some urgency here.
No, I know you're not moving in right away.
But you might one day, right? I can't even consider that question until you've met my kids.
No, I get that.
But I'm about to spend a small fortune on this place and I'd really like your opinion.
Sure.
Look, my opinion is you're buying this place for two, not for one.
Okay, well, I'll just put the rest of my life on hold until you're ready to have a conversation.
MJ, that's the exactly opposite to what I've just said.
Look, I say "not now" and you hear "not ever.
" I've had way too many dead end relationships, Lee.
I'm over it.
No more games, okay? Are you in or out? I've told you I'm not moving in with you.
Fine.
Get the hell out.
[heavy sigh.]
Mary Jane I mean it, Lee.
Leave.
Leave! - Hey.
- Everybody's staring at me.
[laughs.]
Have you seen your Twitter feed? Hell, no.
I've been avoiding the internet like the plague.
Well, your rant went viral, missy.
- Let me see that.
- KARA: Look at the Twitter feed.
All the pundits are talking about double consciousness.
Van Jones schooled a panel about how Black professionals have to be one way around their White colleagues, and another way around other Black people.
And Melissa Harris-Perry wants an interview.
- Shut up.
- Yes! And there's a Huffington Post editorial talking about "dropping the mask" at work, mm-hm.
So, you said you wanted to do something meaningful [claps hands.]
and you did, mama.
So, we need to celebrate tonight.
You've gotta call Lee.
About that.
- What did you do? - [knock on door.]
I'll tell you later.
- Okay.
- Mm-hm.
Celebrate my ratchet.
Celebrate.
[laughing.]
Oh, I suppose that congratulations are in order.
You and Mercedes broke the internet.
And yet I feel like I owe you an apology for what I said on air.
I'm so sorry.
No need to apologize for being a hit.
We should capitalize on it.
Ronda came up with a great way to do just that.
She did? Yeah, she suggested that you become our resident web correspondent.
So, instead of being on air, I'll be on the internet.
Hey, the web is the future, right? Silence can be so loud It breaks us I was born to roam Yes I have run away - - Been traveling so long - So long, so long - Been traveling so long - - So long, so long [knock at door.]
It's not something Not my intention I'm trying to make sense Now I've got something to say So long, so long So long Hey.
- Hey.
- [kisses.]
TV's off.
A new episode of "Family Brawlers" is about to start.
I thought we broke up.
We did? When? When I told you to get out.
We had an argument.
You told me to leave, so I did.
That's why I don't stew.
We argue and we work it out.
Plus, I thought it'd give you some time to tell me what's really going on.
That place was dope.
This is Manhattan.
It's an island full of dope apartments.
Why are you suddenly trying to rush this? I turn 40 in two months.
Join the club.
I turn 40 and I imagined [sighing.]
where I'd be and I guess I just tried to race to get there before the clock struck 12:00.
So, this had nothing to do with me.
It's just about you, what, checking off some boxes? Why is settling down such an accomplishment in America? I don't know.
You tell me.
Hey 40 is the new 30.
It's the new 20 when you're a Black woman especially one that looks like you.
Ow.
[laughs.]
It still sucks I let that beautiful place go.
Not at all.
Central heating would have killed you, eventually.
Plus, I don't want my kids breathing that in.
They're gonna come visit for Spring Break.
They wanted to go to Spain, but I want them to meet you.
Let go of what you think is supposed to happen.
Just let it be.
Come here.
So, are we watching this or not? - Yeah.
- Great.
[sighing.]
Oh, oh, uh, give me a minute.
- - I remember - [knock at door.]
- Didn't have an answer We moved with the moment Start over again What are you doing here? Everyone wants to be celebrated.
I cannot begin I don't gotta worry about Daikwon, I don't gotta worry about Akisha, I don't gotta worry about Antoinette.
I don't gotta worry about none of them especially Carmen.
Did you really think we'd broken up? Yeah.
I did.
Well, congratulations.
You're about to celebrate your 40th.
It looks like you might be in a real relationship.
- What? - LEE: [laughs.]
Oh I want a beginning A beginning Start a new beginning
I like kids.
Your driver, did you tip him? Because it looks like he's waiting for something.
I should have known an Old Spice man was your type.
First of all, you wouldn't know what my type is, and second of all, we never said we were exclusive.
I'm done trying to figure you out.
It's so lonely.
I'm so tired.
So, stop running.
- Take a risk.
- So, you forgive me? They would never say it out loud, but the assumption is that there can only be one black woman at the table.
Well, I think there's room for both of us.
What do you say? Are you with me? Yeah, I'm with you.
I built that charity from nothing.
It was my brand.
Now it's poison.
That is not how I wanted it to happen.
Kara, she mentored me.
I wasn't just gonna let her whole world blow up without telling her first.
I brought you into my world, Mary Jane, me.
I got you this damn job.
MARY JANE: What are you doing here? - I'm your new senior producer.
- Producer here? When Ronda Sales calls and invites you on the biggest morning show in the country, you answer.
Autumn in New York Why does it seem so inviting A private elevator? A killer view of Manhattan.
[laughs.]
I feel like I'm home already.
Too bad it's not for sale.
How, pray tell, does my little brother, who used to twirl signs on the street corner, afford this? My old boss in LA hooked me up with one of the best real estate firms in New York and I am killing it right now.
In six months? Have you even had time to build up a clientele? I just tell people that my sister is about to be the next Ronda Sales.
Ha.
I wouldn't count on that.
What happened? I thought the deal was all set.
Justin happened for starters.
Okay, who's Justin? A long, tragic story.
- But anyway - Okay.
How much does something like this cost? - $15 million.
- What? Yeah, we're not in ATL anymore, Letta.
Four percent of $15 million is $600,000.
Oh, my God, did I just say that? - Yeah.
- I did.
Woo.
That's a lot of money, but it still doesn't afford this.
This belongs to a client and I'm managing it for them while they're out of the country.
So, tell me, have there been any naked girls on that white couch? It's not like that, Letta.
I promise you.
Look, can we just focus on what you're looking for, all right? You have to be out of that hotel pretty soon, so, what are we talking? You want a two-bedroom, large kitchen? We're talking this.
- I want this.
- This.
But with a lot less zeroes.
[quiet conversation.]
I should have listened to you about Ronda.
I swear I wake up thinking about her every morning.
[laughs.]
Oh, that's water under the bridge.
We have a much bigger problem now.
It's a frickin' boys' club.
Yeah, Justin had a knack for sucking up to the higher ups.
It was the same damn thing in Atlanta.
Jackass.
KARA: I hustled my way to this network so I could make the jump to nightly news.
- And you will.
- Not without big stories.
Still no word on covering the Supreme Court nominees? KARA: Unh-unh.
With Justin here, Garrett won't even look in my damn direction.
I was looking to make history here, you know, be the first woman to run this show.
But Mr.
Smooth Operator wants it just as bad as I do.
It's 2008 all over again.
I'm Hillary and a fine-ass Black man is trying to kick my damn ass.
So, we figure out how to get killer stories.
JUSTIN: Where's Natalie? KARA: I don't know.
Um Editing maybe? Why? We just got an exclusive with New York second baseman Orlando Lagos.
Is Natalie covering it? No.
No.
Aaron is, so, we've gotta bump her segment.
Wait, wait, this cooking segment Kara spent all morning working on? Uh, yes.
Look, it's a solid segment.
You know, I'm sure it'll come back around.
[laughs.]
It's an app called "Watzigwan.
" You can take video, pictures, add filters, and your followers can leave comments.
And how's this different from Snapchat? Way more emojis.
Facebook's gonna eventually buy it for billions.
Being up on the latest apps is sexy, it's current.
It appeals to the younger demo.
We can use it to promote the show.
I mean, our viewers love it when we try out the the gadgets.
Great idea.
What else we got? How about the, uh, charter school teacher who was caught on video berating a second grader? She apologized, didn't she? Well, they're alleging it wasn't an isolated incident.
American kids are too coddled.
The rest of the world is leaving us in the dust.
We need to toughen up.
Well, I I think it's a little more complicated than tough love.
I mean, this is an ivy league educated woman and she was teaching predominantly underprivileged kids.
Mostly Black and Latino kids.
The little girl in question she was Black.
Not looking too good.
That much is obvious.
[sighing.]
What do you think, Ronda? I agree, but, um, I like Natalie's take on it.
And she should do it, since her segment was cut.
Well, but isn't Natalie covering the app? I do already have three segments.
She can handle this one just fine.
She also has the interview style we're looking for.
GARRETT: Yeah, you're right.
Natalie will do the, uh, teacher story with Justin.
And Mary Jane, you can take the Watzigwan one.
- And Kara.
- Yeah? You can produce it.
[quietly.]
That's great.
[knocking on glass.]
Oh, Mary Jane.
Come on in.
Garrett, I just want you to know that it's important to me that I do a good job.
And you are.
In the story meeting, it sounded like you had a problem with my interview style.
It's nothing against you.
We've been, uh, doing some in-house evaluations - of on-air talent - I don't mean to interrupt.
Um, but can I assume that Justin is a part of that "we.
" It's part of the show's makeover.
So, Justin has a problem with my interview style.
[heavy sigh.]
Uh Can you grab Justin for me.
It's better if he explains.
Can I just say that I really feel like these evaluations should be unbiased, and I worry that with Justin, it can, you know Hey, man, uh, would you mind telling - Mary Jane what you told me? - Sure.
I, um, I reviewed all the work of each of the correspondents, and since you're new, I, uh, watched a segment from SNC.
I believe this is your interview with Elizabeth Foy.
Oh, right, yeah.
Uh, it went viral and audiences loved it.
I found your approach a little concerning.
It gets the politics out of the way, and it allows the parents to decide what's best for their child.
It's interesting that you mention politics, because some are arguing that your best-selling book is published by a foundation that supports neo-racist authors.
You derail the conversation, then promote your own agenda and there's no subtlety in your approach.
We're both fighting to be heard and fighting to be taken seriously, and to be seen.
So, when it comes down to it, when I look at you, I see an ugly Black woman, too.
That that's an ambush I mean, worse still race baiting.
I mean, I think your demeanor is cold, it's judgmental, it's haughty.
I just don't think that's what our viewers want with their morning coffee.
Look, Mary Jane, we all know you have charisma and charm, and that works for the lighter pieces.
It's the serious interviews.
Um I just don't think they're for you.
This was supposed to be my comeback.
It still is, Mary Jane.
But see what I am up against.
All you need is one great story now and All the great stories are assigned to someone else.
Well, then give them a story that only you can do.
Hey Hello? You've barely eaten.
What is all this, anyway? Old story ideas.
Things I covered, things I never got to cover.
And it's low tech, I know, but I'm hoping something sparks an idea.
You brought all of this for an answer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's probably the first thing I'd grab if the house caught fire.
Are you sure? What about this? Oh, Nick? No, Nick, he's been a constant companion, but, no, Nick can be replaced.
LEE: [laughs.]
Well [kisses hand.]
I'll leave you to it.
[spoon tinkling cup.]
WOMAN ON TV: I feel like I'm getting excluded.
You understand me? And then this bitch corner me.
She got the nerve to get in my face and it's like, well, I can't hit my father, but I'll definitely hit you because Are you enjoying your tea party over there? You'd be drinking tea, too, if it wasn't for a petty, 300-year old rebellion.
No, coffee is the only way to go.
And black, as it should be.
Oh, right Malcolm Xpresso.
How can you be so selfish? I am not selfish! WOMEN: [loudly arguing over top one another.]
Jesus.
Oh, that's right.
Is it too loud? [turns off volume.]
I'm sorry, I'm feeling a little claustrophobic in this hotel room.
I've really gotta get serious about finding a new place.
Do you know what? I do, too.
My sublet's up soon.
Yeah, my brother's showing me a listing tomorrow afternoon.
And New York is so expensive.
- It's so expensive.
- Right? Look, we're not actually having this conversation now, are we? No, 'cause it's way too early for us to be even thinking about this.
Right? Right.
I mean, well, you haven't met my kids.
Exactly.
And I haven't farted in front of you yet.
- Well, you don't need to.
- LEE: [laughing.]
[unintelligible TV conversation.]
LEE: I love this.
What what are you watching? Oh, this? This is brilliant.
If America does on thing great, it is reality TV.
You see this guy? He's a retired point guard.
He has multiple children from I don't know how many different mums.
And let me guess they're all forced to live in a house together.
It's genius! It gives me anxiety.
They're fighting over some endorsement money.
It gets pretty ugly.
I'm pretty sure my niece watches this.
[unintelligible argument continues.]
Goodness gracious, so, who is the ratchet one? She's Mercedes.
She's the star.
She has five children.
Why do you watch this garbage again? Oh! Garbage? Let me tell you, I get so much material from this.
I consider this my Masters in American Culture.
And that's a damn shame.
You can judge, if you want, but when Mercedes is on the screen, I cannot change the channel.
She is tryin' to get in between the relationship with my father.
And that's my father, not yours.
Find your daddy somewhere.
Pffft! What does the league MVP do after winning the pennant three years in a row? - Go for a fourth.
- AARON: [laughs.]
You're not gonna pull a Ken Griffey Jr.
on us and do a one and done, are ya? I had him on my fantasy team for three straight years.
Solid every year.
No, you know, it's just a dream come true being in New York.
I'm just enjoying the ride.
AARON: We're gonna enjoy the ride with ya.
If Aaron can't pull a retirement announcement out of him, no one can.
I don't think he's gonna say much else.
You know, the guy's got three standard answers.
Wrap it up.
AARON: We'll be right back with Orlando Lagos who's gonna show us the key to his signature swing.
He still looks good, too.
He does.
You're have fun doing this? Oh, it's the best job in the world.
How'd you get started, anyway? AARON: I started working for this local TV station.
One of the guys didn't show up one day.
They threw me in front of the camera and, uh, that's pretty much the story.
- Oh, that's great.
- Yeah.
Orlando, hi, my name is Kara Lynch.
- I'm a producer here.
- Hi.
Can I talk to you for a minute in private? These are my boys.
It's all good.
You can say what you've gotta say.
I'll tell you what.
I have a break in about an hour.
Why don't you meet me at the bar around the corner? I think we can make that happen.
Yeah? In private.
Boys MAN ON TV: God, are you kidding? Babe, I need you to stop spending money, okay? "Family Brawlers"? Seriously? - It's so bad, it's good.
- God.
But here comes damn Carmen talkin' outta the side of her neck.
Yeah, that's her little catchphrase.
What do you think about bringing her on the show? Mercedes Wilkerson on live TV? Oh Yeah, yeah, now I think about it, this is a story only I can do.
If I can find a way to relate to this woman, get her on my side, humanize her a little bit, ooh, it could be good.
That woman is a damn train wreck.
She's playing a character.
I'm sure there's a real person under there somewhere and I'm pretty sure I can find it.
So, you wanna turn your app story into a hard-hitting interview.
She could use the app during the show and bring in that young demo that Garrett wants so badly.
- Mmmm - Come on.
You know Justin's gonna shoot this down faster than you can say, "talkin' out the side your neck," right? I've thought about that but I think I've figured a way around that.
So, the weight loss special rounds out the 8:00 a.
m.
block.
Any pitches for 9:00 a.
m.
? - KARA: I have one.
- Yeah.
KARA: How about an interview with the star of the reality series "Family Brawlers"? - Mercedes Wilkerson? - Yep.
Isn't that the crazy woman that put her boyfriend in the hospital with a toaster oven or something? [laughs.]
Yeah, I think it was a microwave, actually.
Well, she's definitely a bit of a wild child.
But she tripled the demo when she appeared on local talk shows in Atlanta, Los Angeles and Chicago.
She's coming out with a new swimwear line we can feature which is a bridge to our 18-34 demo and a cross-promotion with our sister network.
- The "suits" will love that.
- KARA: Yeah.
- Who should do it? - How about Ronda? [laughing.]
No.
No, I don't it's not really my brand.
Come on now.
Come on.
Well, she's very popular with the app that Mary Jane is covering.
GARRETT: Yeah, Mary Jane, you did a good job with that hip hop artist.
Okay, Mercedes is a powder keg.
We don't need Mary Jane to light that fuse.
Let's remember who our intended audience is.
Then you produce it.
Oh, Justin doesn't know the show, so I don't, uh Great.
He'll approach it with fresh eyes and find an interesting angle.
Yeah, let's put it on the board.
Ah, I like it.
I think it's gonna work, guys.
Can I talk to you about that segment in my office? Yeah.
- Nice strategy.
- What do you mean? Getting Kara to pitch a story that you knew Ronda would refuse to do.
I expected Ronda to support her people.
This is serious.
Thanks to you, we're now saddled with the inglorious task of transforming a hood rat into respectable morning TV.
- I have an approach.
- You do? Oh, good.
Here we go.
Enlighten me.
It saddens you, doesn't it? To know that I'm not selling perfume at a kiosk in a mall.
That's what you expected, right, when you got me fired.
I never got you fired.
No, you just bad-mouthed me to higher ups.
You needed to make yourself indispensable and you didn't.
You're so used to being the golden boy.
What are you gonna do now that you're Ronda's puppet? Oh, you didn't know.
Oh, precious, the only reason Ronda has you here is to make my life miserable.
At least I got my job on merit.
Just like you did at CNN and SNC.
Question: do you have what it takes to keep it? You may have an approach to this segment, but the way I see it, you either follow my instructions, or do it your way, and prove to the world why I was right about you.
Let's talk about why we're really here.
Not to enjoy each other's company? [laughs.]
I have a proposition for you.
Okay.
A business proposition.
Your RBI stats have been down, right? That's because of an injury? I'm not interested in doing another interview.
Yeah, but I know you wanna be on camera, hm? Oh, maybe you haven't heard, but I have a pretty damn good day job.
Okay.
A little piece of advice.
You wanna get out while you're at the top of your game.
And if you're looking to be the next Michael Strahan, I can help you.
Are you this bold with everyone? [laughs.]
Everybody.
So, I have to ask what's in it for you? Let's just say making you look good makes me look even better, hm? All right, if I were interested, how, exactly, could you help me? Hey Garrett? Garrett? Garrett? Garrett? Garrett? Garrett, I want to bring Orlando Lagos on the show.
He gonna announce his retirement? - No.
- Then why would we bring him back? Well, I think he'd be great for the college athlete union story.
You want Orlando Lagos to be a sport pundit? Listen, I can work with him, and he has a lot of respect for what we're doing here.
Athletes like him think that we are all the same pinheads with a mic.
No, no, no, no.
I overheard him talking after his interview and he actually likes the way we cover sports.
He says we get it right.
- Okay.
Let's try it.
- Great.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yes! Now what I'm trying to say is KARA: Don't express doubt.
Trust yourself.
College college sports programs bring in millions of dollars every Millions I mean billions.
KARA: Okay, look eyes on me.
Chin down.
Yeah.
Billions of dollars every year and the kids um students uh student athletes, um Okay, don't say "um.
" I told you I don't know anything about this.
Orlando, listen to me.
I know college sports is not your thing, but if you wanna be an anchor, you're gonna have to talk about subjects that don't interest you.
Come over here.
What? Oh, hello? How'd you know my favorite way to relax? No more tie.
Okay.
Hm You know what? what do you do to prep for a game? Do you have any ritual or anything like that? Every player does.
- What are they? - A few things.
I have a playlist I like to play on the day of the game.
- Mm-hm.
- Wear my lucky jersey.
Oh, lucky jersey.
Do you have that here? - Yeah, of course.
- Yes! Go put it on.
Why? 'Cause we've gotta loosen you up.
You're too tight.
Okay - What? - That's your lucky jersey? Hey, I batted 750 my senior year in this jersey.
The record still stands at Atlantic High, you know? You don't need college for stats like that.
Yeah.
You know what? I brought a little something that's gonna help.
- Extra grand one.
- That's right.
- Lady's got fine taste.
- You wait.
Now if this doesn't warm you up, - I don't know what will.
- [glasses clink.]
LEE: You are really putting Mercedes Wilkerson on the morning show.
Yeah.
Tomorrow.
That girl gets famous for throwing a kitchen appliance at her boyfriend, and now she's being interviewed about it on national television.
God bless America.
That is the business that I'm in.
Oh, she should get a spin-off.
Call it "12 Years a Stripper.
" - Hm - No? - Hm - That'll work.
Oh, my brother showed me that loft in Chelsea.
- You like it? - I love it.
Really blows my budget out of the water, but I will still have to paint and replace all the toilets Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You said replace all the toilets? At least the seats.
Are you that much of a germophobe? I'm not a germophobe.
I I'm not.
I just like my shit new, that's all.
Literally.
Well, I'm sure you've got some quirky preferences.
No, not really.
As long as it's got a nice vibe.
Really? Come on.
Okay.
Radiators.
You know, that's one of the things I love about New York the old clanky radiators.
It makes me feel like home.
What's wrong with central heat? Blowing random, mysterious hot air into your apartment? Where's it coming from? Huh.
Anything else? No.
All I need - is a strong bed - Mm-hm.
a beautiful woman.
And a shelf on the pantry for all of your teas.
LEE: [laughs.]
- You think you know me so well.
- Okay, anything else? Um, oh, this is so important.
It's gonna say a lot about you.
- Mm-hm? - Carpet or hardwood? Yeah, that is tough.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what.
Excuse me, man, can we stop here? I wanna know a bit more about your preferences.
Now are you an "S" or an "M"? Oh, I know.
Definitely an "S.
" What makes you say that? Well, you're kinda alpha, type "A" [swats hand.]
like to be in control.
[laughing.]
Too tame, honey.
LEE: [laughing.]
Oh, hello? Oh? - Really? - Yeah.
Well, I am a huge fan of your ass, so Oh, no, honey, not for me.
- For you.
- [laughs.]
No.
That's not my thing.
Although, I don't mind a bit of, uh Oh, yeah.
- [laughs.]
- Yeah.
ORLANDO: Let me break it down for you.
College sports programs bring in billions a year and these student athletes don't see a dime of that money, and they're the ones busting their asses day in and day out.
[claps hands.]
Boom! How was that? [laughs.]
Not bad.
Bullshit.
That was perfect.
Mmm, I wouldn't say perfect.
Like you could do better.
Absolutely.
Yeah, I could.
- Prove it.
- KARA: [laughing.]
Okay.
Okay.
And take this.
You're gonna need it.
- Yeah.
- Unh-huh.
KARA: Okay.
Right.
Unionization would allow athletes the bargaining power they deserve and it would open a way for much-needed medical insurance and disability What are you laughing at? [laughing.]
I'm sorry.
I can't take you seriously like this.
Is that how I look on camera? Oh, no, um, you actually look like this.
Yo, yo, yo, yo! I think all baseball players need to be unionized you know what I'm sayin'? - Get outta here.
- That's what you look like.
I gotta take I gotta take a picture.
[phone camera clicking.]
- Yeah.
- KARA: [laughing.]
- LEE: [panting.]
- MARY JANE: Okay LEE: Oh! Yeah.
Yeah.
- Like this? - Yeah.
Oh.
All good, yeah? [kissing.]
- No, wait.
- Oh, right.
Oh.
[kissing.]
Oh.
I'm gonna I'ma just take Yeah.
Yeah, you should.
- Yeah.
- All right.
[sighing.]
Thank you.
[sighing.]
You did wash it, I hope.
Yes, of course, I washed it.
But it sort of ruined the moment, you know? I I I get it.
But you know what? Good for you for trying something.
Right? Something new for the sacrifice of someone else.
That's what a good relationship is all about, - mama, you know? - [knock on glass.]
KARA: Oh, my God.
Yeah, okay.
We're gonna go shoot Orlando's piece, so, wish me luck.
I will cross my my stink finger for you.
They don't see a penny of that money for exchange for endless travel, long practices, and sometimes lifelong lasting injuries.
Wow, he improved a lot.
Yeah, it just took a little practice, a little loosening up, and, uh, and he's wearing his lucky jersey under his suit, so Oh.
[laughing.]
That helps.
Hey, hangin' out with Lagos.
Impressive.
Oh Hm [laughs.]
Did he mention anything about the retirement rumors? Uh, I I might be able to get an exclusive.
But I'd like to run some story ideas by you, first? - Let's talk.
- Great.
My door is always open, you know? Yeah yeah From Africa no toto You wanna taste my coco I light it up I set it off I tell 'em please no photo No photo JUSTIN: That's not what I want.
Mercedes is here.
Yeah, no, that's that's not gonna work.
All right, hold on.
Oh, I'm gonna go with my own questions for this, but thank you.
Read it or get taken off of the segment.
These are all about her swimwear line.
That's what you pitched us.
Yeah, but I also wanna have a real conversation with her.
You know, have the chance to ask her what it's like to be a Black woman like her living her life in front of the camera, and stuff like that.
It's not about being Black.
It's about swimsuits.
So, I'm back.
Well, listen, let's try and find some time Oh, I see your reality star has arrived.
She's a very colorful character.
You're gonna have your hands full, honey.
Okay, yeah, she's not a head of state.
I get that.
But young people relate to her and that's what it's all about millennials.
You know, the one thing I learned from playing tennis is that to be the best, you have to play with the best, and that is especially true in this newsroom, dear.
You know, young or old.
We're only as good as the people that we sit next to.
Mercedes, thank you so much for coming on the show.
I'm so excited to talk to you about your new swimsuit line.
MERCEDES: It's actually swimsuit lingerie.
MARY JANE: Oh, interesting.
Now what exactly is that? It's underwear for swimming.
Fascinating! Well, let's see what you have here.
Let me show you.
[claps hands.]
Everyone, come in! Woo! This one here tells you that you're confident, sexy, - but you don't need a man.
- MARY JANE: Oh, very nice.
Yeah, this one is called the No-Boodini-Bikini.
Oh, like a bandini.
Like a two-piece.
Wonderful.
That is delightful.
I don't know if it might fit your style or not.
You're more of a one-black-piece type of girl, But I ain't the one to judge, so next time I come on.
MARY JANE: No, no, no, I would absolutely Stay on the high side of the fence, please.
MARY JANE: I would absolutely die to rock one of those very stylish Vogue pieces.
Great for the beach and the bedroom, right? MERCEDES: Sexy and glowin', right? Yeah.
Yeah.
Now where can our audience find these? They can find them at Z-Ban.
Now what's Z-Ban? It's my pop-up shop.
MARY JANE: When and where will this pop-up shop pop up? Oh, you see, that's the secret.
They have to get it after I present it at Watzigwan.
So, it's secret.
Are you sure you don't wanna let us in on that secret? We've got five million viewers right here.
No, what I need is somebody younger who interview me who actually know what the hell they talkin' about - This was such a bad idea.
- when it comes to fashion.
Your ass is too narrow to fit in one of my my suits, you know? Wrap this up, please.
Well, thank you.
You can see Mercedes Wilkerson, and all of the "Family Brawler" misfits every Monday night at 9:00 p.
m.
on BMT.
And for those of you looking to find Mercedes' fashions, you can find those being sold out of the trunk of her car in a parking lot of a strip club.
We'll be right back.
That one's a dirty-ass bitch right there.
OTHERS: [laughing.]
Listen, you pompous-ass, country 'bama bitch.
I was trying to help you.
Help me to what? I don't need your damn help.
- Know what I am? I'm a Mercedes.
- Bitch, you're a Buick.
Okay, you breed for a living.
I breed for rich men.
Now what the hell do you do besides walk around here tryin' to act all White and cute and whatever? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Next time, swallow your kids, bitch.
Swallow my kids? All right now.
I'm gettin' the bad bitch outta you.
Look at you all this time, I thought you were one Black girl tryin' to be White, but I see you, girl.
I like that one right there.
I'm sorry.
Y'all made me come out my face and, um I don't even know how you even work in this dirty-ass place in the first place.
You know, you do what you gotta do.
Well, keep doin' it then, bitch, 'cause you're doin' one hell of a good job.
"Swallow my kids.
" Mary Jane.
Look, I already know what you're gonna say.
You're gonna kamikaze with my name on the line.
I actually hoped you'd prove me wrong.
I knew you couldn't do it.
[knocking on door.]
[sighs.]
What what are you doing here? I'm here to see the listing.
I know I'm early, but I had to get out of the office.
And I know I told you I had an appointment.
So, you're not gonna let me in? [whimsical music.]
PJ, if you are banging some young hottie in there, in a $15 million apartment God, stop.
I told you.
There is nobody in here.
Let me in.
Open the door.
Let me in.
All right.
Letta, this is Gretta.
You have to book her three weeks in advance.
She's just that good.
You should try her sometime.
I'm sorry.
Look, I can't even get mad at you because the old me, he probably would've had a chick in here or something.
- Yeah, I know.
- Oh, for sure, for sure.
But I've had enough drama the past year.
It sounds like you can relate.
- I can relate.
- [laughing.]
The client that owns this place she's really taken me under her wing.
I'm not trying to mess that up.
You have people looking out for you.
I like it.
That's important.
It is.
Look, I'll arrange it so that you can show yourself the place.
But, if you like it, you've gotta let me know asap.
I've already got a couple of clients looking at it, chomping at the bit.
All right.
Nice meeting you, Gretta.
You can go.
[laughing.]
I practically exploded on live TV.
I'm pretty sure my mom had a stroke.
For what it's worth, I thought it was pretty funny.
Oh, wow this place will make me forget all my troubles.
What do you think? It's nice.
It's nice? This place is raving.
Oh, God, don't tell me you're serious about the radiator thing.
[taps panel.]
No, it's cool, I'll just hold off until I find a place with a clanky radiator.
Mary Jane look, if you like this place, buy it.
- Buy it for you.
- Yeah, I am.
I'm just thinking ahead.
Are you, really? I'm sensing some urgency here.
No, I know you're not moving in right away.
But you might one day, right? I can't even consider that question until you've met my kids.
No, I get that.
But I'm about to spend a small fortune on this place and I'd really like your opinion.
Sure.
Look, my opinion is you're buying this place for two, not for one.
Okay, well, I'll just put the rest of my life on hold until you're ready to have a conversation.
MJ, that's the exactly opposite to what I've just said.
Look, I say "not now" and you hear "not ever.
" I've had way too many dead end relationships, Lee.
I'm over it.
No more games, okay? Are you in or out? I've told you I'm not moving in with you.
Fine.
Get the hell out.
[heavy sigh.]
Mary Jane I mean it, Lee.
Leave.
Leave! - Hey.
- Everybody's staring at me.
[laughs.]
Have you seen your Twitter feed? Hell, no.
I've been avoiding the internet like the plague.
Well, your rant went viral, missy.
- Let me see that.
- KARA: Look at the Twitter feed.
All the pundits are talking about double consciousness.
Van Jones schooled a panel about how Black professionals have to be one way around their White colleagues, and another way around other Black people.
And Melissa Harris-Perry wants an interview.
- Shut up.
- Yes! And there's a Huffington Post editorial talking about "dropping the mask" at work, mm-hm.
So, you said you wanted to do something meaningful [claps hands.]
and you did, mama.
So, we need to celebrate tonight.
You've gotta call Lee.
About that.
- What did you do? - [knock on door.]
I'll tell you later.
- Okay.
- Mm-hm.
Celebrate my ratchet.
Celebrate.
[laughing.]
Oh, I suppose that congratulations are in order.
You and Mercedes broke the internet.
And yet I feel like I owe you an apology for what I said on air.
I'm so sorry.
No need to apologize for being a hit.
We should capitalize on it.
Ronda came up with a great way to do just that.
She did? Yeah, she suggested that you become our resident web correspondent.
So, instead of being on air, I'll be on the internet.
Hey, the web is the future, right? Silence can be so loud It breaks us I was born to roam Yes I have run away - - Been traveling so long - So long, so long - Been traveling so long - - So long, so long [knock at door.]
It's not something Not my intention I'm trying to make sense Now I've got something to say So long, so long So long Hey.
- Hey.
- [kisses.]
TV's off.
A new episode of "Family Brawlers" is about to start.
I thought we broke up.
We did? When? When I told you to get out.
We had an argument.
You told me to leave, so I did.
That's why I don't stew.
We argue and we work it out.
Plus, I thought it'd give you some time to tell me what's really going on.
That place was dope.
This is Manhattan.
It's an island full of dope apartments.
Why are you suddenly trying to rush this? I turn 40 in two months.
Join the club.
I turn 40 and I imagined [sighing.]
where I'd be and I guess I just tried to race to get there before the clock struck 12:00.
So, this had nothing to do with me.
It's just about you, what, checking off some boxes? Why is settling down such an accomplishment in America? I don't know.
You tell me.
Hey 40 is the new 30.
It's the new 20 when you're a Black woman especially one that looks like you.
Ow.
[laughs.]
It still sucks I let that beautiful place go.
Not at all.
Central heating would have killed you, eventually.
Plus, I don't want my kids breathing that in.
They're gonna come visit for Spring Break.
They wanted to go to Spain, but I want them to meet you.
Let go of what you think is supposed to happen.
Just let it be.
Come here.
So, are we watching this or not? - Yeah.
- Great.
[sighing.]
Oh, oh, uh, give me a minute.
- - I remember - [knock at door.]
- Didn't have an answer We moved with the moment Start over again What are you doing here? Everyone wants to be celebrated.
I cannot begin I don't gotta worry about Daikwon, I don't gotta worry about Akisha, I don't gotta worry about Antoinette.
I don't gotta worry about none of them especially Carmen.
Did you really think we'd broken up? Yeah.
I did.
Well, congratulations.
You're about to celebrate your 40th.
It looks like you might be in a real relationship.
- What? - LEE: [laughs.]
Oh I want a beginning A beginning Start a new beginning