Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s04e03 Episode Script
Americans and Their Dreams
Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola
How would you feel about
sitting in that chair?
- That is your chair.
- No.
That chair belongs to the
president of the company.
I'm gonna be CEO.
What is the difference?
Well, the president does all the work
and the CEO drops by every now and then
to criticize that work.
So, you would be like my mother?
Don't make it weird.
Good morning, my sweet.
Why didn't you wake me up?
That's on you. You shouldn't
look like an angel when you sleep.
Dele is not ready,
I'm going to miss my bus,
- I have not even packed my lunch.
- Ah, ah, ah.
Lunch is made, Dele is getting dressed,
and you can forget about the bus,
because today you have
a handsome chauffeur.
- Who?
- Very funny.
I thought so.
You better get used to me
treating you like a queen.
Now that I'm the CEO,
I can go in to work
whenever I feel like it.
Today, I don't feel like it.
Tomorrow's not looking too good, either.
- I've never seen you so
- Carefree?
- Jovial? Downright giddy?
- Yes.
It's weird, right?
It's wonderful.
And by my calculations, you have
30 extra minutes to
treat me like a queen.
You want me to leave
the apron on or off?
On.
Oh, that is no problem.
I'll tell the doctor.
Okey dokey.
Bye-bye.
- What?
- Okey dokey?
Is that not the phrase?
I just never heard you say it before.
I am in a good mood.
Bob made me breakfast this morning.
Uh-huh.
That is not a bacon,
egg and cheese smile.
Hello, ladies.
- Hello.
- Oh.
Somebody had sex with Bob this morning.
Kemi.
But I did have a good morning.
How good?
I had
two good mornings.
All right, sock man.
Yeah.
Details, details.
I've already told you everything.
Paint a picture.
Were you sitting or standing?
Were you in a hot tub? A bubble bath?
An Uber?
I'm sorry,
I'm not comfortable talking about it.
- It's private.
- Yeah, she's not you, Kemi.
- Mm-hmm.
- Obviously not.
Otherwise she would've
had three good mornings.
Come in.
Goodwin, the reporter from
Talk of Nigeria is here.
Send him in.
And, Kofo?
- Yes?
- We're at work.
I am your boss,
you will address me as Mr. Olayiwola.
What about when we're at home?
Let us keep it simple.
Just call me Mr. Olayiwola.
Mr. Obaseki, this is Mr. Olayiwola.
Thank you, Kofo. You are dismissed.
Good afternoon.
Mr. Olayiwola, I'm honored to meet you.
Thank you, young man.
You may stand.
It is a thrill to interview
a real-life business tycoon.
It is a thrill to be one.
Do you mind if I record
our conversation?
- No video?
- It is for the podcast.
Oh.
Okay.
In my research,
I learned that we are from
the same town in Nigeria.
- You are from Ilesa?
- Yes, sir.
Then you know I have climbed a long way
from my humble beginnings.
I thought your father was a judge.
A humble judge.
Only one wife.
So, you did not want to
follow his footsteps into law?
No.
I made my own path,
which led me to the
top of MaxDot Mountain.
MaxDot Mountain.
So eloquent.
Sir, what advice do you have
for any Nigerian
who hopes to reach
your level of success?
They should be realistic.
Not everyone can be me.
But for those chosen few:
keep working, stay focused,
and make a list of
those who doubted you.
- For vengeance?
- Exactly.
Mr. Olayiwola,
Mrs. Wheeler is here to see you.
He knows who I am.
Who's this?
He is a member of the Nigerian press.
Oh, la-di-da.
This is Dorothy Wheeler.
She is the "Dot" of MaxDot.
- It is a pleasure to meet you, Madam.
- Likewise.
You know,
my husband and I started this company
selling socks out of
the trunk of our Impala.
Fascinating! What year was that?
- It was
- 1973.
I was a child then,
unaware of the future that awaited me.
So, if Mr. Olayiwola is president,
what is it you do?
- Actually, I
- If I'm doing my job well,
which I am, she does nothing.
Not exactly nothing.
We work ourselves to
death in this family.
I've got my husband's
ashes in the office,
if you want to see them.
All right.
Thank you for paying us a visit.
So, I guess we're done here.
Come by any time. Don't be a stranger.
- I did want to talk to you about
- Okay, bye-bye.
It was such an honor
to meet Mrs. Wheeler.
You know the Yoruba saying,
"ori e dale"?
Oh! Her head is not right?
So you see what I'm dealing with.
What's his rush?
Maybe he has a job to go back to.
Poor bastard.
Ooh, lentil soup.
I got a coupon for that.
When did you become a housewife?
That's a little offensive.
I prefer the term "stay-at-home Bob."
Ooh, flavored croutons.
Well, I am sure you have
other things planned.
Maybe check in at work?
No thanks.
Oh. Bacon bits.
Well, I must say, you do seem happy.
Are you kidding?
Normally, I'd be stuck behind my desk,
screaming at a supplier,
with a vein popping out of my neck.
Well, a bulging vein
is a sign of hard work.
It's also a sign of heart disease.
Look at all the chips.
- Bob, I am worried about you.
- Why?
This is not who you are.
Y-You are a man who builds things,
who has a vision and then
makes that vision come true.
Yeah, and today I'm envisioning lunch.
And then what?
Oh, I got big plans.
- A new business venture?
- No.
But I am gonna fulfill a lifelong dream.
Ugh. Americans and their dreams.
See?
The stitching on the toe seam is loose.
Pull the batch and check
the rest of the shipment.
- Already taken care of, boss.
- Well done, Douglas.
You really think so?
Why else would I have said it?
To get me to go away.
It's what my mom does.
Oh, Douglas,
when did you lose your self-respect?
Fourth grade.
- Kofo.
- Hmm?
Call Mr. Andrews at Target and tell him
- their order will be short.
- I will make a note.
No notes. Call him now.
Yes, Mr. Olayiwola.
- It is ringing.
- You know what?
It was actually third grade.
What's going on?
Nobody told me we were having a meeting.
It was in the group chat.
What the hell is a group chat?
I would have knocked on your door,
but I know you like to
take a nap after lunch.
Hello, this is Kofo Olanipekun,
calling from MaxDot for Mr. Andrews.
I am on the hold.
We got a defective shipment.
I found it,
and Goodwin gave me an attaboy.
- Uh-huh.
- A real one. Right, boss?
I really like this hold music.
I think it might be my jam.
We need to pull the entire order.
It is already taken care of.
Please, feel free to go back
to your office and rest.
I wasn't napping.
We should get hold music like this.
I am waiting,
but I am having fun.
Douglas, come with me.
Let's see if we have enough
stock to fill the order.
I'm his right-hand man.
Is there anything I can do?
Hello, Bill.
How is it hanging, my friend?
Target.
Yes.
But I'm the "Dot" in MaxDot.
It's a terrible thing to say,
but this is my favorite kind of patient.
Unconscious?
You got it.
-
-
- Is that Bob again?
- Yes.
I know everything he has eaten today.
Maybe you should change your number.
I'm actually thinking about it.
Ugh, now he's calling me.
What?
I'm outside.
Outside where?
Outside the hospital, come down.
I want to show you something.
Okay.
And make it fast,
I'm in the ambulance lane.
Sir!
You can't put your boat there.
Hang on.
Look what I got!
So, what do you think?
You bought a boat?
I bought a boat.
You need to move it!
You're not a real cop.
You know that, right?
- Wh-Why did you buy a boat?
- Because it's the only place
I can wear this hat.
I got you one, too.
First Mate Abishola, come aboard!
No, I'm at work.
You bought a boat?
I bought a boat!
He bought a boat.
- A big-ass boat.
- Hey,
check out the horn.
Sir!
You have to move your boat!
Douglas, why don't I see a
truck by the loading dock?
'Cause we already packed her
up and sent her on her way.
We're working on tomorrow's.
Excellent.
I'm proud of you for getting ahead.
Dude.
What are you doing?
I don't know, man.
This is new for me, too.
- Okay, let go of me now.
- Sorry.
Can I get everyone's attention?
Because of all of your hard work,
our future is brighter than ever.
You are all living proof
that the American
dream is alive and well
at MaxDot Therapeutic Hosiery!
I'm his right-hand man!
How awesome is this, huh?
Very awesome.
It'll be better in the water,
but you get the idea.
I do not.
Hey, Tom.
Check it out. Got a boat.
He's jealous.
So, you are going to drive
this around the lake?
Oh, you don't drive a boat,
honey, you steer it.
So, you are going to
steer it around the lake?
Well, eventually, yeah.
I mean, I got to get a license,
take a test,
learn about tides and the moon.
You know, sailor stuff.
And this is all so you
can become a fisherman?
What? Ugh! No.
This is so we can live on island time.
But if you want to fish,
that's great, we'll get you a rod.
I do not want to fish!
Whoa, calm down.
Let the rocking of the boat relax you.
There is no rocking.
We are in the driveway.
What is happening to you?
I'm sorry, I should've given you
a heads-up. But I'm still me.
I'm still the guy you married.
I'm just a captain now.
- Hi, Mom.
- Hey, Bobby. Are you busy?
Little bit.
Okay, I don't want to bother you.
All right.
You know, on a calm day,
this baby could get up to 50 knots.
I just got to figure out what a knot is.
What, Mom?
I just wanted to know when
you were coming back to work.
Why would I want to do that?
I don't know,
make sure Goodwin doesn't
screw things up too much.
Well, has he?
No.
All right,
I'm gonna hang up and enjoy my new boat.
You bought a boat?
I bought a boat. Abishola, tell her.
He bought a boat.
Are you laughing at my feet?
You're laughing at my feet, aren't you?
I lived on a commune for a year,
didn't wear shoes the whole time.
This condition is called farm foot.
- Hi, Mom.
- I was wrong.
I should have never let
Bob run the company.
It should've been you.
Are you drunk?
Yes.
But I mean what I say.
Please come back.
This is where I belong.
They appreciate me here.
I appreciate you, too, sweetheart.
You're smart, you're talented,
and I don't want to run
this place without you.
I'm sorry, I can't.
But I want you to know that
it really means a lot
I'll call Douglas.
That was my mom.
The reason I have farm foot.
Oh!
All right,
so Nigerians do fake news, too.
- What, I don't deserve lights anymore?
- Oh!
Mrs. Wheeler.
- I did not know you were here.
- Yeah,
nobody does.
Is everything okay?
For MaxDot, yeah, everything's great.
But for Dottie Wheeler not so much.
I am sorry you feel that way.
Is there anything I can do?
Yeah, stop being
so damn fantastic at your job.
Oh, I cannot do that, Mrs. Wheeler.
Fantastic is my sweet spot.
I get it.
Back when Max and I
started this company,
we worked 16 hours a day,
seven days a week.
I remember when we got our
first department store order,
you would've thought we won the lottery.
We went out and had a big steak dinner,
and then got drunk off our asses
and screwed like bunnies.
Uh, many parts of that story were nice.
But that's all over.
- It's your turn now.
- No.
MaxDot will always be a family business,
and you are the head of that family.
Thank you.
You're lying, but thank you.
No, I'm not.
I was raised to respect my elders.
In my culture,
they are revered as a source of wisdom.
Yeah, well, in my culture,
they dump you in Florida
the minute you forget your middle name.
I am sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.
I need you to guide me
as I do my best to honor
what you and your husband built.
Hmm.
That's something Bob never said to me.
Did you hear he bought a boat?
Yeah, I heard. Schmuck.
All right. I will leave you.
Have a good night.
Good night, Goodwin.
And thanks.
Thank you.
Uh, it's Phyllis, by the way.
- What?
- My middle name.
Still sharp as a tack.
Keep smiling, you son of a bitch,
I'm coming for you.
Bob, your boat is awesome.
It's our boat, buddy.
When are we gonna take
it out on the lake?
What, this isn't fun?
Not really.
I'm sorry, man,
you want to honk the horn?
Not really.
When I heard about this,
I was worried that you were having
some kind of mental breakdown.
But I was wrong.
It is magical.
We are sitting in his driveway.
In a boat.
In a boat!
A toast to leaving the
workaday world behind
and living the good life.
Mmm. Did you sign up
for your boating class?
Nah, I got to learn how to swim first.
How would you feel about
sitting in that chair?
- That is your chair.
- No.
That chair belongs to the
president of the company.
I'm gonna be CEO.
What is the difference?
Well, the president does all the work
and the CEO drops by every now and then
to criticize that work.
So, you would be like my mother?
Don't make it weird.
Good morning, my sweet.
Why didn't you wake me up?
That's on you. You shouldn't
look like an angel when you sleep.
Dele is not ready,
I'm going to miss my bus,
- I have not even packed my lunch.
- Ah, ah, ah.
Lunch is made, Dele is getting dressed,
and you can forget about the bus,
because today you have
a handsome chauffeur.
- Who?
- Very funny.
I thought so.
You better get used to me
treating you like a queen.
Now that I'm the CEO,
I can go in to work
whenever I feel like it.
Today, I don't feel like it.
Tomorrow's not looking too good, either.
- I've never seen you so
- Carefree?
- Jovial? Downright giddy?
- Yes.
It's weird, right?
It's wonderful.
And by my calculations, you have
30 extra minutes to
treat me like a queen.
You want me to leave
the apron on or off?
On.
Oh, that is no problem.
I'll tell the doctor.
Okey dokey.
Bye-bye.
- What?
- Okey dokey?
Is that not the phrase?
I just never heard you say it before.
I am in a good mood.
Bob made me breakfast this morning.
Uh-huh.
That is not a bacon,
egg and cheese smile.
Hello, ladies.
- Hello.
- Oh.
Somebody had sex with Bob this morning.
Kemi.
But I did have a good morning.
How good?
I had
two good mornings.
All right, sock man.
Yeah.
Details, details.
I've already told you everything.
Paint a picture.
Were you sitting or standing?
Were you in a hot tub? A bubble bath?
An Uber?
I'm sorry,
I'm not comfortable talking about it.
- It's private.
- Yeah, she's not you, Kemi.
- Mm-hmm.
- Obviously not.
Otherwise she would've
had three good mornings.
Come in.
Goodwin, the reporter from
Talk of Nigeria is here.
Send him in.
And, Kofo?
- Yes?
- We're at work.
I am your boss,
you will address me as Mr. Olayiwola.
What about when we're at home?
Let us keep it simple.
Just call me Mr. Olayiwola.
Mr. Obaseki, this is Mr. Olayiwola.
Thank you, Kofo. You are dismissed.
Good afternoon.
Mr. Olayiwola, I'm honored to meet you.
Thank you, young man.
You may stand.
It is a thrill to interview
a real-life business tycoon.
It is a thrill to be one.
Do you mind if I record
our conversation?
- No video?
- It is for the podcast.
Oh.
Okay.
In my research,
I learned that we are from
the same town in Nigeria.
- You are from Ilesa?
- Yes, sir.
Then you know I have climbed a long way
from my humble beginnings.
I thought your father was a judge.
A humble judge.
Only one wife.
So, you did not want to
follow his footsteps into law?
No.
I made my own path,
which led me to the
top of MaxDot Mountain.
MaxDot Mountain.
So eloquent.
Sir, what advice do you have
for any Nigerian
who hopes to reach
your level of success?
They should be realistic.
Not everyone can be me.
But for those chosen few:
keep working, stay focused,
and make a list of
those who doubted you.
- For vengeance?
- Exactly.
Mr. Olayiwola,
Mrs. Wheeler is here to see you.
He knows who I am.
Who's this?
He is a member of the Nigerian press.
Oh, la-di-da.
This is Dorothy Wheeler.
She is the "Dot" of MaxDot.
- It is a pleasure to meet you, Madam.
- Likewise.
You know,
my husband and I started this company
selling socks out of
the trunk of our Impala.
Fascinating! What year was that?
- It was
- 1973.
I was a child then,
unaware of the future that awaited me.
So, if Mr. Olayiwola is president,
what is it you do?
- Actually, I
- If I'm doing my job well,
which I am, she does nothing.
Not exactly nothing.
We work ourselves to
death in this family.
I've got my husband's
ashes in the office,
if you want to see them.
All right.
Thank you for paying us a visit.
So, I guess we're done here.
Come by any time. Don't be a stranger.
- I did want to talk to you about
- Okay, bye-bye.
It was such an honor
to meet Mrs. Wheeler.
You know the Yoruba saying,
"ori e dale"?
Oh! Her head is not right?
So you see what I'm dealing with.
What's his rush?
Maybe he has a job to go back to.
Poor bastard.
Ooh, lentil soup.
I got a coupon for that.
When did you become a housewife?
That's a little offensive.
I prefer the term "stay-at-home Bob."
Ooh, flavored croutons.
Well, I am sure you have
other things planned.
Maybe check in at work?
No thanks.
Oh. Bacon bits.
Well, I must say, you do seem happy.
Are you kidding?
Normally, I'd be stuck behind my desk,
screaming at a supplier,
with a vein popping out of my neck.
Well, a bulging vein
is a sign of hard work.
It's also a sign of heart disease.
Look at all the chips.
- Bob, I am worried about you.
- Why?
This is not who you are.
Y-You are a man who builds things,
who has a vision and then
makes that vision come true.
Yeah, and today I'm envisioning lunch.
And then what?
Oh, I got big plans.
- A new business venture?
- No.
But I am gonna fulfill a lifelong dream.
Ugh. Americans and their dreams.
See?
The stitching on the toe seam is loose.
Pull the batch and check
the rest of the shipment.
- Already taken care of, boss.
- Well done, Douglas.
You really think so?
Why else would I have said it?
To get me to go away.
It's what my mom does.
Oh, Douglas,
when did you lose your self-respect?
Fourth grade.
- Kofo.
- Hmm?
Call Mr. Andrews at Target and tell him
- their order will be short.
- I will make a note.
No notes. Call him now.
Yes, Mr. Olayiwola.
- It is ringing.
- You know what?
It was actually third grade.
What's going on?
Nobody told me we were having a meeting.
It was in the group chat.
What the hell is a group chat?
I would have knocked on your door,
but I know you like to
take a nap after lunch.
Hello, this is Kofo Olanipekun,
calling from MaxDot for Mr. Andrews.
I am on the hold.
We got a defective shipment.
I found it,
and Goodwin gave me an attaboy.
- Uh-huh.
- A real one. Right, boss?
I really like this hold music.
I think it might be my jam.
We need to pull the entire order.
It is already taken care of.
Please, feel free to go back
to your office and rest.
I wasn't napping.
We should get hold music like this.
I am waiting,
but I am having fun.
Douglas, come with me.
Let's see if we have enough
stock to fill the order.
I'm his right-hand man.
Is there anything I can do?
Hello, Bill.
How is it hanging, my friend?
Target.
Yes.
But I'm the "Dot" in MaxDot.
It's a terrible thing to say,
but this is my favorite kind of patient.
Unconscious?
You got it.
-
-
- Is that Bob again?
- Yes.
I know everything he has eaten today.
Maybe you should change your number.
I'm actually thinking about it.
Ugh, now he's calling me.
What?
I'm outside.
Outside where?
Outside the hospital, come down.
I want to show you something.
Okay.
And make it fast,
I'm in the ambulance lane.
Sir!
You can't put your boat there.
Hang on.
Look what I got!
So, what do you think?
You bought a boat?
I bought a boat.
You need to move it!
You're not a real cop.
You know that, right?
- Wh-Why did you buy a boat?
- Because it's the only place
I can wear this hat.
I got you one, too.
First Mate Abishola, come aboard!
No, I'm at work.
You bought a boat?
I bought a boat!
He bought a boat.
- A big-ass boat.
- Hey,
check out the horn.
Sir!
You have to move your boat!
Douglas, why don't I see a
truck by the loading dock?
'Cause we already packed her
up and sent her on her way.
We're working on tomorrow's.
Excellent.
I'm proud of you for getting ahead.
Dude.
What are you doing?
I don't know, man.
This is new for me, too.
- Okay, let go of me now.
- Sorry.
Can I get everyone's attention?
Because of all of your hard work,
our future is brighter than ever.
You are all living proof
that the American
dream is alive and well
at MaxDot Therapeutic Hosiery!
I'm his right-hand man!
How awesome is this, huh?
Very awesome.
It'll be better in the water,
but you get the idea.
I do not.
Hey, Tom.
Check it out. Got a boat.
He's jealous.
So, you are going to drive
this around the lake?
Oh, you don't drive a boat,
honey, you steer it.
So, you are going to
steer it around the lake?
Well, eventually, yeah.
I mean, I got to get a license,
take a test,
learn about tides and the moon.
You know, sailor stuff.
And this is all so you
can become a fisherman?
What? Ugh! No.
This is so we can live on island time.
But if you want to fish,
that's great, we'll get you a rod.
I do not want to fish!
Whoa, calm down.
Let the rocking of the boat relax you.
There is no rocking.
We are in the driveway.
What is happening to you?
I'm sorry, I should've given you
a heads-up. But I'm still me.
I'm still the guy you married.
I'm just a captain now.
- Hi, Mom.
- Hey, Bobby. Are you busy?
Little bit.
Okay, I don't want to bother you.
All right.
You know, on a calm day,
this baby could get up to 50 knots.
I just got to figure out what a knot is.
What, Mom?
I just wanted to know when
you were coming back to work.
Why would I want to do that?
I don't know,
make sure Goodwin doesn't
screw things up too much.
Well, has he?
No.
All right,
I'm gonna hang up and enjoy my new boat.
You bought a boat?
I bought a boat. Abishola, tell her.
He bought a boat.
Are you laughing at my feet?
You're laughing at my feet, aren't you?
I lived on a commune for a year,
didn't wear shoes the whole time.
This condition is called farm foot.
- Hi, Mom.
- I was wrong.
I should have never let
Bob run the company.
It should've been you.
Are you drunk?
Yes.
But I mean what I say.
Please come back.
This is where I belong.
They appreciate me here.
I appreciate you, too, sweetheart.
You're smart, you're talented,
and I don't want to run
this place without you.
I'm sorry, I can't.
But I want you to know that
it really means a lot
I'll call Douglas.
That was my mom.
The reason I have farm foot.
Oh!
All right,
so Nigerians do fake news, too.
- What, I don't deserve lights anymore?
- Oh!
Mrs. Wheeler.
- I did not know you were here.
- Yeah,
nobody does.
Is everything okay?
For MaxDot, yeah, everything's great.
But for Dottie Wheeler not so much.
I am sorry you feel that way.
Is there anything I can do?
Yeah, stop being
so damn fantastic at your job.
Oh, I cannot do that, Mrs. Wheeler.
Fantastic is my sweet spot.
I get it.
Back when Max and I
started this company,
we worked 16 hours a day,
seven days a week.
I remember when we got our
first department store order,
you would've thought we won the lottery.
We went out and had a big steak dinner,
and then got drunk off our asses
and screwed like bunnies.
Uh, many parts of that story were nice.
But that's all over.
- It's your turn now.
- No.
MaxDot will always be a family business,
and you are the head of that family.
Thank you.
You're lying, but thank you.
No, I'm not.
I was raised to respect my elders.
In my culture,
they are revered as a source of wisdom.
Yeah, well, in my culture,
they dump you in Florida
the minute you forget your middle name.
I am sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.
I need you to guide me
as I do my best to honor
what you and your husband built.
Hmm.
That's something Bob never said to me.
Did you hear he bought a boat?
Yeah, I heard. Schmuck.
All right. I will leave you.
Have a good night.
Good night, Goodwin.
And thanks.
Thank you.
Uh, it's Phyllis, by the way.
- What?
- My middle name.
Still sharp as a tack.
Keep smiling, you son of a bitch,
I'm coming for you.
Bob, your boat is awesome.
It's our boat, buddy.
When are we gonna take
it out on the lake?
What, this isn't fun?
Not really.
I'm sorry, man,
you want to honk the horn?
Not really.
When I heard about this,
I was worried that you were having
some kind of mental breakdown.
But I was wrong.
It is magical.
We are sitting in his driveway.
In a boat.
In a boat!
A toast to leaving the
workaday world behind
and living the good life.
Mmm. Did you sign up
for your boating class?
Nah, I got to learn how to swim first.