Bunk'd (2015) s04e03 Episode Script

1 Hey, Ava, do you want to come with us to the mess hall? They're serving Mystery Breakfast (SING-SONG) Burritos! Mmm.
No, thanks.
If food didn't have anything to hide, it wouldn't keep secrets.
I like the surprise.
In the woods you always know exactly what you're eating.
Because usually it still has a face.
What are you going to do with your day off? Are you going into Moose Rump? Oh, as thrilling as that town sounds No thanks.
If you're sticking around camp, maybe you should finally try archery.
It's Let me stop you right there.
I'm not really a "try new things" kinda girl.
Although, you did come to camp.
Exactly! I've already tried a new thing.
I'm good till at least next year.
- Well, if you change your mind - Won't happen.
We can come back later and check on you.
Doesn't need to happen.
You just want us to leave? Let's make that happen.
Bye! Have fun! Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Did you make a slingshot? Yeah.
Can't have this cushy place turning me into a softie.
Don't let Lou see that.
She hates slingshots.
She thinks they'll only hurt someone or (PEBBLE RICOCHETING) (GLASS BREAKING) break something.
LOU: What was that? Is anyone hurt? Do I need the first aid kit? Does anyone remember where I put the first aid kit? Destiny? Gwen? Who was using the devil's wishbone? It wasn't Destiny.
It was Some other girl! Who we've never seen before.
She broke the window, dropped the slingshot, then ran off.
What did this girl look like? She had blue chair Hair! And green grasses Glasses! I can't think of any campers that fit that description.
Well, we didn't just make her up.
(GIGGLING NERVOUSLY) Okay.
Well, you just let me know if you see her again.
Can't have some little girl running around breaking everything Finn forgot to.
Did a blue-haired girl really break the window? I was so sure it was me.
It was you.
But it was an accident, and I didn't want you to get in trouble.
So I lied.
(SHOUTS) You lied? Say it louder.
I don't think Lou heard you.
Sorry.
I've just never lied before.
Lying isn't a good thing, but sometimes a little white lie is okay.
Wait, you haven't even lied to your parents? No.
My parents told me if I ever lied to them then Santa Claus wouldn't bring me coal for Christmas.
Why would you ask for coal? Don't you want toys? We have a long, cold winter ahead, and no toy will burn as hot as a stocking full of coal.
Hey, Finn.
You want to hear some super-cool news? There's a Great Horned Owl nesting on the Moose Rump water tower.
And what's the super-cool news? That's it! I bet you're wondering how I got that inside scoop.
Not really.
A little birdie told me.
"Little Birdies" are what we call the administrators of our Junior Bird Enthusiast Message Board.
I like you anyway.
All right! Hello, campers.
And welcome to Improv 1-0-Fun! Okay.
Can anyone tell me what improv is? Yeah.
My mom always tells me I really need to improv my grades.
I think you're confused.
No.
My grades are terrible.
There's definitely room for improv-ment.
I'm talking about the craft of improvisation.
Which is basically like doing a play, except there's no scripts.
You can make everything up.
Oh.
Hey, Ava.
I need help demonstrating the joys of improv to my class.
And I need help putting a snack in my tum-tum.
But good luck with your thing.
Come on, campers, let's welcome Ava to the stage! Yeah.
Come on, Ava.
All right! Now, campers, Ava and I need a location for our scene.
The mess hall! Nailed it.
- A farm.
- Love it.
And we need two farm animal suggestions to get started.
A great white shark and a stegosaurus! Two for two! How about a pig and a rooster? There we go.
Much better.
Okay, Ava, you ready to do this? (OINKING) Suddenly not so sure.
Hey, Rooster! Isn't living on this great big farm just the best? (OINKS) No.
(SIGHS) Rule number one of improv, never say "no.
" In improv, you always say "yes, and," then come up with something that goes along with the scene.
Okay.
Let's try again.
(OINKS) Hey, Rooster.
The sun's up.
Wanna wake up our farmers? Yes, and Wake up, farmers! Come on, Ava.
This is a safe space, give it a chance.
Before long you might find yourself saying "yes, and" to the world.
(OINKS) Hey, Rooster.
I'm hungry.
Are you? Yes, and (CLUCKS HALF-HEARTEDLY) (CLUCKS) Hey, this is kinda fun.
(CLUCKING CHEERFULLY) (LAUGHTER) She sounds more like a chicken than a rooster.
Shh! I'm invested.
You know, this rooster could really go for some bacon! (CLUCKING LOUDLY) Is it just me, or has Ava's improv really improv'ed? It's not "improv," it's "improve!" Prov it to me.
Hey, Destiny.
I felt bad about stressing Lou out, so I got her something.
- Tell me it's not crickets.
- It's crickets! It's like a nature noise machine.
Without the machine.
It'll relax her.
If I'm ever stressed out, get me a jar full of gift cards.
It was easy to make.
All these little guys were just hanging out on some moose poop.
Eww! Oh, no! The lid came off.
They're everywhere! I think you turned it up too loud.
Did you girls bring crickets in here? I just got rid of the lice.
(CRICKETS CHIRPING) I was not supposed to mention that.
Um, well You see It was that blue-haired girl again! Did you say the blue-haired girl did this? I can barely hear you.
Oh, allow me.
(IMITATES CHIRPING) You speak cricket? I dabble.
Did you say the blue-haired girl did this? Yeah, she threw the container in here.
She must be getting back at us for telling on her about the broken window.
Blueheads.
I think.
Right? Don't worry, I'll find that girl.
And when I do, I'll scare the lice right out of her blue hair.
Not that we have lice! You told your first lie.
Are you okay? I don't know.
It was just a little white lie.
You said those were okay, right? Of course.
It's not like anyone will actually get in trouble for it.
Good.
Now let me tell these crickets to get back in the jar.
(CHIRPS) Jar.
Crickets don't have a word for "jar.
" Want to come with me to put them back on the moose poop? I'm good.
(BOYS CHUCKLING) Hey, Ava, there are lots of leftover Mystery Burritos.
And we think we solved the mystery.
Budget cuts.
- You should try one.
- No way.
No way? Oh, right.
Yes, and I'll have one right now.
Thank you very much.
I didn't mean mine.
Hey, this isn't that bad.
Noah, you were actually right.
Do we need the "actually"? You know, maybe saying "yes, and" could be my new thing.
See ya.
Fly, my little rooster.
Fly.
Hey Ava, do you want me to make you a macaroni necklace like mine? Yes and, I can't wait to wear it.
Do you want me to put rat fur in yours, too? Yes and, please don't tell me where you got it.
What about rat bones? Yes and, walking away now.
Hey, girls.
I think we need to talk about the mysterious blue-haired girl.
Oh Do we? About what, exactly? Would you say this is accurate? I just want to make sure before I plaster these all over camp, that this is the girl I should be looking for? - Yes.
- Sure.
Good.
Gwen, where did you get fur for your macaroni neck Actually, I don't want to know.
That's still a small white lie, right? The smallest.
It doesn't hurt anyone.
There is no blue-haired girl with green glasses.
Excuse me You're a blue-haired girl With green glasses.
Um, yeah.
But most people just call me Ruby.
So, can I use the penne? On second thought, I can just make do with macaroni.
(SHUDDERS) What are the odds there would be an actual blue-haired girl with green glasses at camp? We should've said she had three heads.
DESTINY: Where did she come from? Did we magically make her appear with our words? Dangit, this always happens to me! Oh, no! Look! Hey! You're the blue-haired girl with green glasses! Why does everyone keep saying that? I have a name.
Good.
Tell it to the judge.
Not that we have a judge.
I handle that as Camp Director.
I wear a lot of hats.
And one British judge wig.
What's going on? Did I do something wrong? Oh, playing coy? It won't work.
Where were you from 9:00 to noon yesterday? - In my cabin.
- Alone? Yeah, I was playing Solitaire.
Save your sob story, Becky! If that's even your real name.
- It's not.
-Tell it to my judge wig.
Come with me.
I have just the punishment for you.
Whoa.
I've never seen Lou this mad before.
What now? We can't let Ruby get punished for what we did.
What if there was a way to spare Ruby any punishment and we still don't get in trouble with Lou? I don't know how I feel about framing Noah.
I wasn't saying that.
Oh.
Neither was I.
(HIGH-PITCHED) Me, me, me, (LOW-PITCHED) maahh.
(HIGH-PITCHED) Me, me, me, (LOW-PITCHED) maahh.
- (HIGH-PITCHED) Me, me, me - Are you okay? (LOW-PITCHED) Maaaahhhh.
(EXHALES) Just doing my vocal exercises.
Ooh, I thought you missed your meemaw.
We just want you to take us up the Moose Rump water tower, so we can install a webcam and live stream the owl's nest at the top.
Oh, forget it.
That water tower is way too high.
And dangerous.
You want to see this bird, too? I didn't, until you said it was "dangerous.
" Now I'm all in.
Please? This would really make me a who's who in the owl-watching community.
Or, as we like to call it, a (IMITATES OWL HOOTING) Who's-hoo.
(LAUGHS) Classic.
I'm just happy he's happy.
I'm serious.
Stay away from that water tower.
I forbid it.
It's forbidden, too? Now we have to go! Lucky for us, there's someone at the camp saying "yes" to everything right now.
Play it cool.
Butter her up a little before we ask.
Hey, Ava.
That's a nice necklace.
Thanks.
Wink.
You don't say a "wink.
" Sorry, I can't wink! Isn't it special, and-or unique? Gwen gave it to me.
Old Ava would have said "no way," but New Ava said, "Yes, and I'll never take it off.
" Are those rat bones? I'm trying not to think about it.
On a different note, completely unrelated to your new attitude, will you take us up to the top of the Moose Rump water tower? Yes, and Race you up there! Wow! It worked! Wink! This isn't even a winking moment! Hi, Ruby.
Remember us? The weirdos hoarding the penne pasta? That's fair.
We just wanted to offer to clean the floor for you.
Why do you want to do my punishment? (FORCEFULLY) Why do you ask so many questions? Okay, okay.
Knock yourselves out.
I'm gonna go play Solitaire.
Or You could do something fun with other kids.
You're right.
I'm gonna go start a conversation about Solitaire! See? Ruby is free, and we still don't get in trouble with Lou.
It's back to being a little, white How's it going in here, Ruby? Ruby? Are you in here? She ditched her punishment.
Oh, she's in big trouble now.
That girl has no respect for my judge wig.
We just made things worse for Ruby! I know, but How could we explain why we were cleaning the floor for her? And Lou would be triple-y mad at us for all the lying.
We're in too deep, Gwen.
We're in too deep! Oh, man, this tower is so high.
I guess this is why bird-watching attracts so many thrill-seekers.
(GASPS) There's the nest! This is super cool! Yeah, so cool.
Okay.
There! Now we can watch when the mama bird comes back and the eggs hatch.
(CREAKING) Are you done, Matteo? This thing is really rickety.
We should climb back down, like ASAP.
(CREAKING) Ahh! Pull me up! Pull me up! Pull me up! Dude.
We heard you the first time.
This thing is a house of cards with 500 gallons of water on top! (SCREAMS) Help me up! Help me up! Help me up! Guys! Seriously! We're like a foot away from each other.
(AVA WHIMPERS) (CREAKING) How do we get down now? This is bad.
Yes and, I blame you.
(EXHALES) (GASPS) Ruby! We've looked everywhere for you.
Lou found me first.
She was really mad I didn't do the punishment I got for the things I didn't do.
We'll do any new punishment you got.
You can't.
Lou kicked me out of camp.
BOTH: What? I want you to have these.
To remember me by.
But learn from my mistakes.
When you play Solitaire, always play with a friend.
Destiny? Tell me you have a new plan.
(VOICE SHAKING) I have a new plan.
No, I'm lying! Again! I can't stop! Maybe we can find another way down! (AVA SCREAMS) (ALL GASP) Be careful! Or you'll find the really fast way down.
Do you have any ideas? No.
Now you decide to start saying "no"? Finn! Matteo! Noah! Up here! I told you boys you weren't allowed to go up there.
We had permission! Seriously? Who would be stupid enough to let you do this? 'Sup? One camp-issued bug spray Check.
One Bunny Cabin T-shirt Check.
One lake-certified pool noodle Check.
And finally, a refund for the remainder of your camp deposit in the form of one cashier's check A check.
Lou, stop! Ruby's innocent.
I'm the one who broke the mess hall window.
And the crickets were my fault.
Wait, what? You lied? Yes.
We're horrible lying liars that lie.
Ruby, we're so sorry we got you caught up in all of this.
Well, then I guess this is for you.
This check is made out to "Got You Suckers.
" What's that mean? Got you, suckers! (LAUGHING) Man, it took you too long enough to come clean.
I did all of this as a ruse because I knew you were lying.
What was a ruse? And what is a ruse? Everything I did.
The wanted posters, finding Ruby when I knew you two were watching, checking in on Ruby when you were doing her punishment That sounds like a lot of work.
Yes.
And have I also neglected a lot of camp director duties? Also yes.
So dinner may not be served, but justice certainly was.
Wha-bam! So you aren't sending Ruby home? I'd never do that.
I hired Ruby.
You're not even a camper? Ruby's a local actress.
She's actually in a play right now.
Make sure you catch my performance as Glinda the Good Witch in Wicked.
The Moose Rump Times called me a "confusing choice.
" Lou, before you punish us, Gwen never would've lied to you if it wasn't for me.
I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have encouraged you to lie.
Don't worry.
I'm done with it.
I'm beginning to think this lying thing creates more problems than it solves.
You know, maybe the lesson you two girls just learned will serve as punishment enough.
- Really? - Ha! No.
You two are gonna do more cleaning in the boys' cabin! BOTH: Noooo! Lou! Ava, Finn, and Matteo are stuck on the Moose Rump water tower! What? (EXHALES) Hey, Glinda! I loved the show.
Letting the dog play the wizard? A brave choice! (CREAKING) Hey, guys! We're back! Lou! I am so happy to see you! (GASPS) I'm sensing the feeling isn't mutual.
Just stand back! Tie off the rope.
I hope she paid attention in knot-tying class! (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) I wish I'd paid attention in knot-tying class.
Okay, lower him slowly! Slowly, but faster! I'm so happy you guys are okay.
What were you thinking? It's all Noah's fault for encouraging me to say "yes, and" to the world.
This is what I get for trying new things.
No.
Being open is good.
You just went straight from a zero to a 10.
You know, I should have stopped while I was ahead.
I'm at camp, that's good enough.
Ava, you're not gonna get the whole camp experience by just being at camp.
Keep trying new things.
Say yes to the world.
But definitely say no to the campers.
We do better with strong boundaries.
We're sorry, Ava.
We knew you were saying yes to everything and we took advantage.
You know us bird watchers, we're bad boys.
It's okay, guys.
And I won't let this stop me from trying new things.
Starting with archery.
It's not as useless as I thought.
- (CLATTERING) - (YELPS) (ALL GASPING) Maybe we should finish this conversation elsewhere? To the rickety bridge! No! That felt good.
(OWL HOOTING ON WEBCAM) I take it back.
Using that webcam to watch this owl is super cool.
Definitely.
So cool.
Are you lying? It's not lying.
It's improv.
She's way more convincing as a rooster.
How's it going in there, Destiny? (COUGHING) I know it was really bad that I told Gwen lying was okay, but making me clean the boys' bathroom is cruel and unbreathable punishment.
If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.
Actually, don't do the crime even if you can do the time.
New camp policy No crime! Yeah, quit complaining.
For our punishment, we had to clean your cabin.
(THROUGH GRITTED TEETH) Not the same thing.
I know, it smelled really nice.
Hey.
I've been looking for that.
- Eww! Atrocious - Disgusting.
I'm just happy he's brushing.