Charmed s04e03 Episode Script

Okay, turn left up here.
And can you step on the gas a little? Off the gas.
Off the gas.
Does somebody else wanna drive here? Phoebe, the demon is not waiting around for us to come and vanquish him.
We don't even know if we have the power to vanquish him.
Scrying for random evil tells us nothing.
It tells us where the demons are and since we vanquished two already this week - I'd say it's working pretty well.
- Yeah.
Thanks to Cole for saving our butts.
Two witches and a half a demon does not the power of three make.
So, what are we supposed to do? Sit around and wait for them to pick us all off? If we weren't going after them, they'd be coming after us.
They're coming after you anyway, Piper.
- The Source is coming after you.
- And we won't be ready for him because instead of teaching Paige how to be a witch we are out hunting for every Tom, Dick and Beelzebub in San Francisco.
Speaking of, do we have a plan, or-? - The plan is vanquish the demon.
- Great.
Have you mastered your powers, or are you still freezing - And exploding at random? - Random.
But you know what they say, there's nothing like field practice.
Turn here.
Stop.
Hey.
Big, scary demon.
He's gonna blow.
Next? "Throughout history, witches have been misunderstood persecuted and destroyed.
The public hanging, drowning and burning of women suspected of witchcraft is a far more recent chapter of our history than most people realize.
" Paige.
Yeah? What's the hold-up on the O' Brien application? Well, at the moment, the only hold-up is my boss, who's standing over me distracting me from my work.
Nice teeth.
Have it on my desk by noon.
Lila.
What's the O'Brien application? Adam O'Brien? The foster kid we're trying to get into the boarding school? Oh, my God.
The scholarship application is due, like, today.
I'm so lame.
Oh, Billy, I thought I told you to throw anything from creditors in the trash.
Hi, pizza-face.
Look, I understand how difficult it is to tear yourself away from the cleavage in this section but I'm gonna need my mail sometime today, okay? No problem.
Go, go.
Nice rug.
What the hell? Look at him.
What happened to his hair? I didn't know he was bald! Oh, I know that you're happy that we got him, Piper but is it entirely necessary to disfigure the Book? This one could incinerate human flesh with his eyes.
That must sting.
You think that's funny? You could've gotten yourself killed.
Do you understand that? Yes, Cole, I understand "killed" very well.
Then why would you wanna keep risking your life and Phoebe's? Not to mention mine.
There's a legion of bounty hunters on my ass.
I'm supposed to be laying low, but instead I'm out protecting you guys.
You know what, Cole? Next time you can stay home.
If you insist on taking these suicide missions, you force me to be there because there's no way in hell I'm gonna let Phoebe lose another sister.
Why don't you go see who's at the door for us, okay? Sure.
If it's The Source, I'll just ask him to come back later.
We need to talk.
Piper, Cole's right.
We have a system for fighting demons and it's worked pretty well the last three years.
I think Prue being killed counts as a pretty big glitch in the system.
I know that you're angry.
I am angry too.
Then why are you fighting me on this? What's-? What is the problem with getting a little proactive? Because we're not ready to get proactive.
That's what's wrong with it.
We're barely ready for anything right now.
Just dealing with our everyday normal lives is hard enough.
That is precisely the point.
The faster we get rid of these demons the faster we can get back to our everyday normal lives or at least what is left of them.
Knock-knock.
I- I'm sorry to just drop by without calling.
It's okay, don't worry about it.
I don't know exactly why I'm here.
I'm just kind of having a hard time being surrounded by people, and- And not be able to tell them that you can move things with your mind? It does not exactly roll off the tongue.
Yeah.
Well, being a witch is tough on friendships.
That's why the whole sister thing comes in so handy.
What are you doing? It's a little chatty up here, so I'm gonna go scry for evil in my room.
Scry? Yeah.
Phoebe will explain.
I'll see you later.
It's kind of like a supernatural LoJack.
Well, why don't you just use that big book? I mean, it is a book of spells, right? Oh, it's a lot more than that.
It's kind of hard to explain.
It looks so old.
Yeah.
It has survived a lot.
Fortunately, it protects itself from evil.
It protects itself? How? Magic.
May I? Yeah.
Technically, it's yours too.
I would walk you through it right now but I have to go talk to Cole.
Well, maybe I can just take it back to my office.
Oh, no, no.
No.
It doesn't leave the house.
But just feel free to thumb through it.
And then I'll be back in a few minutes.
This could solve a lot of problems.
- What? What is it? What's wrong? - You've got to talk to your wife.
Okay, Cole.
Remember what I said about being gentle? - What about my wife? - She's out of control.
Cole.
What? It's just we're very worried about her.
What happened? She's very, very angry.
Well, of course she's angry.
She's grieving.
Right.
And if she were punching walls I would happily call a repairman.
The problem is she prefers to punch demons.
- Well, I'll talk to her.
- She has no regard for her own life.
Or anyone else's.
She's Charles Bronson, cubed.
I said I'd talk to her.
Guys.
Guys.
Who is Charles Bronson? Never mind.
We- Can we please just have a minute alone? - Sure.
- Thank you.
It's not just that she's violent, Leo, she's acting nothing like herself.
She's completely dismissive of Paige, and I don't know what to do anymore.
Strange, isn't it? Now on top of everything else, you have to play the middle sister.
When you've always been the Screwup? The youngest.
Yeah, I look at Paige and Piper and it makes me think back to all those times that Piper had to play mediator between me and Prue.
Not a lot of fun, huh? It's not a job I would've asked for.
And I'm not sure it's a job I'm gonna be any good at, but I just- I don't have time to really worry about it right now.
I'll talk to her.
Thanks, Leo.
Not to rush this tender moment, but she's already started scrying.
I didn't mean you couldn't use the stairs.
Okay, book.
Protect yourself.
Paige? I'll be right up.
- Where's the fire? - Oh, you know, work.
Lunch break's over.
Gotta go.
But we didn't even get to talk.
Oh, yeah.
It's all right.
Don't worry.
Will you come by later? Sure.
Yeah, absolutely.
Bye.
Bye.
Look, honey it isn't just that it's dangerous.
Leo, whitelighters are supposed to guide, not judge.
Just because I'm doing things a little bit differently doesn't mean that there is a problem.
Piper, I'm your husband not just your whitelighter.
And when you speak to me like that, there is a problem.
I can't help you unless you talk to me.
It hurts to talk, Leo.
It hurts to breathe.
So unless you have some idea of how to bring Prue back I don't wanna talk right now.
Is that what you don't wanna say? Is that you still blame me for not being able to bring her back? No, Leo.
I don't blame you.
I blame evil.
Why-? Why do you think I am doing all of this? - For kicks? - Honestly? I think you're doing it because it's easier than confronting what you're really feeling.
- Demon.
- What? I have work to do.
Cole, Phoebe, let's go.
Nothing like a copy room with a view.
Hey, Clearasil.
What's popping? Don't worry about him, Billy.
He's a jerk to everybody.
Yeah, I know.
That's why his mail gets lost.
Frequently.
Hey, is there something wrong with this copier? The copier? I don't think so.
I just ran off a whole bunch.
Everything keeps coming up blank.
Are you trying to copy a book? No.
It's nothing.
It's cool.
Well, if you need me to do it for you, just say the word.
Thanks.
You're sweet.
Let the object of objection Become but a dream As I cause the seen To be unseen - You okay, Billy? - Yeah.
I just- I got a little head rush.
Oh, my God.
It worked.
Oh, my God.
Paige? Is everything okay? It will be from now on.
Piper, Cole and I do not support you in this.
If you insist on doing it, you're going in alone.
Okay, I'll see you at home.
I told you that wouldn't work.
- It was worth a shot.
- Wait a minute.
Do you smell smoke? It's in there.
Stop.
Stop.
No- Get back, I'll blow it up.
Go on.
- Piper? - Yeah, yeah.
Crap.
Okay.
Piper.
- What? - Cole.
Piper, let them go.
They're- They're immune to my powers.
Unfortunately, Cole isn't.
- Piper, unfreeze him.
- What if I blow him up? Cole.
I'm gonna take out those chain-smoking bitches if it's the last thing I do.
It might be the last thing you do.
That's very supportive, Cole.
Whose side are you on? At the moment, I'm on Phoebe's side.
Well, the last time I checked, Phoebe was still my sister which technically puts her on my side.
- Why are we arguing? - We're not arguing.
We're discussing, Piper.
You are arguing.
- And look, you're already hurt.
- I'm fine.
- You can't stop coughing.
- And your control over your powers seems to be getting worse, not better.
Well, our powers are tied to our emotions so it makes sense that they would be a little off right now.
All the more reason to lay low.
These demons are dangerous.
All the more reason to vanquish them, okay? That is what we do.
Eliminate evil.
Regardless of the consequences.
Now you sound like Prue.
Okay, Cole, I'm going to vanquish the cancer girls with or without your help.
So either tell me what you know, or get out of the way.
They're called Furies.
- Like from mythology? - The dog-faced women from hell? They're modern knockoffs.
Their m.
O.
is the same, though.
- They punish evildoers? - Exactly.
Wait.
Wouldn't that make them good? Well, these Furies have no temperance.
They'll go after a shoplifter as soon as a murderer and they take great pleasure in the kill.
Great.
Then we'll take great pleasure in the vanquish.
What aren't you telling us? So they go after evildoers.
Have they attacked you before? When they focus their thoughts on you they force you to hear the cries of all your former victims.
You're not the demon who did those things anymore.
Evil got the Book of Shadows.
How did evil get the Book of Shadows? - Oh, no.
- Oh, no, Phoebe? A demon has the Book of Shadows.
"Oh, no" doesn't quite cover it.
- Let me go see what I can find out.
- No, wait.
Piper? Promise me you're not gonna overreact.
Is that even possible? I think that maybe Well, it might- Might be feasible that Paige borrowed the Book.
What? Why-? Why-? Why would you think that? See, now, this is what I meant about overreacting.
- It's just that I- - You let Paige take the Book of Shadows out of the manor? Well, no, I did not let her.
It's just, she left pretty quick - And it looks like she might have- - Out of the window? - Piper, I am- - Phoebe, why would you even leave her alone with it? Well, because she's our sister.
Not for long.
- Are you coming? - To vanquish your sister? I think I'll sit this one out.
It's unbelievable.
Maybe it was the light from the copy machine.
God, this day is amazing.
- I mean, you went and got cute.
- You think? Totally.
And then my car loan comes through, like, out of nowhere.
My credit is worse than Paige's.
- You know, I still can't believe all this.
- This is amazing.
Sir, I am taking full responsibility for being late with the application.
I'm simply asking for a deadline extension.
Well, I can't give you a deadline- Well, I'm asking that you not punish Adam O'Brien who's already had a tough enough life, for my mistake.
Someone has to straighten this thing out.
Sir, all I'm saying is- These words will travel Through the minds Of stubborn parties and unbind The thoughts too rigid to be kind A compromise they'll disentwine How does 6;00 on Friday sound? Six o'clock Friday is perfect.
Thank you so much.
- Victory.
- You got the extension? - Yeah.
- Unbelievable.
You're into all that witchy stuff, right? - Excuse me? - Well, I'm just thinking that there must be something in the stars today.
I mean, Billy's face, my car, now this.
Is there a full moon or something? I don't know, but whatever it is I'm gonna call my student-loan sharks and take full advantage of it.
Oh, good.
Me too.
You know, Paige, as a lawyer I could get those nasty creditors off your back so easily.
And if you can't afford to pay me I could always just take it out in trade.
Or I could just sue your ass for sexual harassment.
And pay you with my big fat punitive settlement.
The way you dress? The judge would admire my restraint.
That's it.
Perfect.
I'll just change "demon" to "dirtbag.
" I don't understand how someone can be that stupid.
I don't understand why you haven't stopped ranting since we left the house.
You're right.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
- Yes, Paige made a mistake.
- A mistake? - She stole from us.
- She borrowed.
Borrowed.
She- She threw our family heritage out of the window.
Well, that's because we never took the time to explain its significance.
It was just a book to her.
Okay, Phoebe, it is not just a book.
It's like- It is like part of our family.
Paige is not a killer.
She didn't kill anyone.
And she's not a demon that we're on our way to vanquish.
- I get that, Phoebe.
- Do you? Because I don't think that you do.
- You all right-? - Hey.
Get away from me.
Hey.
- What the hell is going on? - This is not funny.
Oh, Donnie.
Give mama some sugar.
Who's the man? You are.
You are so busted? Hello.
You stole our sacred book so you could perform magical plastic surgery on yourself? You think I did this on purpose? My body was perfectly fine just as it was, thank you.
I mean it.
Get away from me! Piper, you could've just blown up a dozen innocent people.
- I took a chance.
- See? Are you listening to yourself? - What happened? - I don't know.
They just grew.
Oh, right.
And you had nothing to do with that.
Did you cast any spells? One.
- Five.
- Five? Okay, what did you do just before you turned into Betty Boop? Well, I cast a spell on the slimeball I work with so I could give him a taste of his own medicine.
That the slimeball? And that's the backfire.
- Backfire? - You misused magic to make him the object of ogling and the spell backfired and did the same thing to you.
Which you would've learned if you had bothered to ask but now, instead of vanquishing demons we're gonna have to spend the afternoon fixing your mess.
Okay, Piper, call Leo and get him to orb this slimeball back home.
We have to protect him until we can figure out a way to reverse the spell.
Paige and I will grab the Book and meet you there.
Are my boobs gonna stay this way forever? Not if I can ever find the spell.
What about Piper? She gonna stay mad at me forever? No.
It's just she hasn't really been herself lately.
You know, a lot of ups and downs since Prue You know? Like us all.
The last thing I wanted to do was add to your guys' stress.
I just wanted to get back at Donnie.
Yeah, and I understand the temptation, Paige.
I really do.
But I told you, the Book does not leave the house.
Right.
Sorry.
My boobs are in the way.
Can you put it into third for me? All right.
Ready? Here we go.
All right.
Did you find the spell yet? No, but I found the demons.
- Oh, my God.
- What? You can't say "demons" followed by "Oh, my God.
" I'm new at this - I'm likely to panic.
- Okay.
Fury smoke kills bad guys, right? But in good people, it looks for a portal of unexpressed fury.
- And? - It builds until it consumes your humanity, and it turns you into a Fury.
We fought the Furies today.
Piper got smoked.
Wait.
Are you saying that Piper is turning into a demon? It wouldn't be the first time.
Step on it and hit the clutch.
I'm going into fourth.
Ready? On three.
One, two, three.
Easy, Piper.
What, are you protecting him now? What the hell's going on? And what's with the chicks? They've gone crazy.
This chick just saved your ass, you snivelling ingrate.
- Do you see what I mean? - Who said you could get up? - What's the matter with you? - Oh, my God.
Okay, honey, look.
I don't know what's going on but we really need to talk.
Leo, you know what? I'm sick of talking.
Now we really need to talk.
Piper, you do not use your powers on a mortal, do you hear me? Back away slowly, Leo.
What? She's becoming a Fury.
There's no reasoning with her now.
Piper, you're a good witch.
Do you hear me? Fight this.
Oh, God, help.
No! Cole.
I- Well That wasn't very nice.
Cole hit her with an energy ball.
Leo, it was low voltage.
Would you prefer he'd let her kill an innocent? I'd prefer that he wouldn't use his demonic powers on my wife.
I can't believe that you let him go look for her.
This is all my fault.
I shouldn't have stolen the Book of Shadows.
- You stole the Book of Shadows? - Leo.
Leo, concentrate, please.
I just hope he finds her fast because if this is anything like the time I turned into a banshee - She's gonna be hungry for a kill.
- I'm sorry.
A banshee? Yeah, a demonic screamer.
Kind of trampy, feeds on pain.
I think I need to sit down.
- Paige.
- What? You only said I couldn't use magic to punish him.
Okay, Leo.
You orb Donnie back to his office.
Heal him there, then make sure he doesn't narc us out for being witches.
- How? - I don't know.
Be creative.
What about Piper? You have to do your job, and let us do ours.
We'll get your wife back.
I promise.
I hate to ask, but how are we going to get his wife back? I mean, she's kind of a full-on demon.
No, she's not full-on.
She doesn't have the talons yet.
That probably comes with the first kill.
Besides, if we were able to save her when she turned into a Wendigo A Wendi-what? A Wendigo.
It's kind of like a werewolf, only meaner.
Is this the spell that you used? Is there some sort of spell I could do, you know, in advance so I could not become, maybe, a banshee or- What word did you sub "demon" with? "Dirtbag.
" "Dirtbag.
" Okay.
Hand.
Guided spirits, hear our plea Annul this magic, let it be Please let it be.
Do you think it worked a little too well? - Leave me- - Shut up! I've been looking for you.
- Damn it.
- Why isn't it working? Because Piper isn't a witch anymore.
Well, can't you just scry for evil then? Do you have any idea how much evil is running around San Francisco? Damn it, Piper.
Cole.
Thank God.
- Don't thank him yet.
- You didn't find her? I didn't get a chance to look.
Every time I used my sensing powers a bounty hunter sensed me.
I fought off three of them.
- I'm sorry.
- No, it's- It's okay.
Somehow everything's gonna be okay.
I don't have even a little idea how everything's gonna be okay.
- Phoebe.
- You know why? Because nothing - is okay.
- Phoebe? My sister is a Fury, my boyfriend is a demon- - Oh, baby.
You're bleeding.
- Phoebe.
Didn't you say you found me because Piper cast a spell to find a lost witch? Yes, but I also said that Piper's not a witch anymore.
Yes, but if I could substitute the word "dirtbag" for "demon," why can't we substitute the word "sister" for "witch"? Would that work? Well, no.
Not if she's already looking for a kill.
- The call won't be strong enough.
- Why not? Because of the pull of evil.
When I was possessed by the Woogie - The blood lust was so strong.
- Woogie? - Don't ask.
- The point is I don't think she'll answer the call.
Then we'll add bait.
No.
No, are you kidding me? No.
The Furies go after evildoers, right? Paige, we are not using the love of my life as bait.
Yes, we are.
It's perfect.
Cole, you have been a demon for over a century.
That is a lot of victims.
The pain of their cries alone can kill you.
But as you said, I'm not the demon who did those things anymore.
And if facing my crimes helps save your sister- - Cole, I- - Phoebe I would do almost anything for you, you know that.
But I will not be a coward for you.
Please don't ask me to be.
We'll need some of your blood.
Right.
Knife.
- Power of the sisters rise - Power of the sisters rise - Course unseen across the skies - Course unseen across the skies - Come to us who call you near - Come to us who call you near - Come to us and settle here - Come to us and settle here - Blood to blood, I summon thee - Blood to blood, I summon thee - Blood to blood, return to me - Blood to blood, return to me I know where evil dwells.
You sure about this? I'm good at a lot of things.
Waiting is not one of them.
Honey, what are you doing? I'm trying to do that orb thingy.
I can't seem to get the hang of it, though.
- What happened? - You orbed.
- I did? - It's a fear response.
So until you learn how to control it, you just have to- - Get scared? - Pretty much.
All right.
- Well, that shouldn't be too difficult.
- Good.
Then we will orb, we will levitate we will juggle knives if we have to just to keep the Furies distracted from Cole.
Okay, but what I don't get is how we un-demon Piper once she gets here.
Well, we have to close the portal of unexpressed fury.
Unexpressed? I think she's been raging for days.
That's because there's something she's not saying.
- Which is? - I don't know.
But I think I have an idea.
They're close.
Paige.
I did it again.
Sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Phoebe.
Nice decoy, Piper.
Two points.
Cole.
Cole.
Come on.
Lamp.
Sorry.
Really sorry.
Cole is not your problem, Piper, and you know it.
Book.
Please let there be something in here.
Cole, don't.
You think I abandoned you.
You think it's my fault that Prue died.
You blame me.
So just admit it.
You don't wanna kill me, Piper.
You don't even know me.
You okay? It's not about me.
It's not about Phoebe.
Leo.
Phoebe's not the sister who abandoned you.
- It's Prue.
- Leo, do something.
Where did he take them? To what Piper's really angry at.
Tell her, Piper.
It's all right to hate her.
You should hate her.
When my parents died, I hated them for it.
I was alone, and I hated them.
It is okay to hate Prue.
How dare you! How dare you leave me? How could you go and die and leave me here all alone? Please come back.
I need you.
Please come back.
It's okay.
It's okay, honey.
It's not okay.
She risked her life every day.
She never thought about what would happen to me and Phoebe if she was gone.
I know.
How could she think that I could live without her? Did you sleep? Yeah.
Actually, better than I have in a while.
It's quiet, isn't it? Early and late.
It's just really, really quiet.
Prue was always the first one up and the last one down.
It's strange, the things that you miss.
So how scary was I? Heck, I've seen worse.
I've been worse.
But about Paige.
- She completely freaked.
- No.
She handled it.
Better than most people would, I think.
She saved your life.
She definitely is a Halliwell.
Last name or no.
I know I haven't been the most welcoming.
I just- I miss Prue so much.
It's hard to imagine opening up to someone else.
With everything that happens in our lives love just feels like an invitation for more pain.
So maybe maybe you don't start with love.
Maybe you just start with "Thanks.
" South Bay Social Services.
Muffins.
Thanks.
Busywork.
I'm best in the kitchen.
Prue was the one that liked to chase demons.
Man, he's like a whole new Donnie.
What did Leo say to him? I don't know.
He's a miracle worker, that husband of mine.
So how are you? I've had bad hours and hours that aren't quite so bad.
I guess you know how it is.
Yeah.
When my parents died, there were some days I didn't think I'd survive the sadness.
It'll never be okay that she's gone, Piper.
But I promise it will get better.
You know, Leo could fix that for you.
It's my first war wound.
I think I'll wear it with pride.
Unfortunately, in this family, it will not be the last.
Well, every family has its pros and its cons.
A couple of demon battles in exchange for the power to clear up my friend's skin, I'd say it's worth it.
The power to what? He's cute, isn't he? You should've seen him yesterday.
Okay, you saved my life.
So I guess we're even on the Book of Shadows swipe.
But, Paige, there are rules to being a witch.
Rules that you will have to learn and follow.
Well, not to be difficult, but you're married to our whitelighter and Phoebe's shacking up with a demon so on balance, maybe my friend could stay cute? Okay.
My, my, my.
That pile looks about the same size as it did about an hour ago.
Oh, that was my fault.
I distracted her with muffins.
And you are? I'm her sister.