Cold Feet (1997) s04e03 Episode Script

Hiya, Daddy.
Shh, shh.
Mummy's asleep.
- Morning.
- Thanks, Pete.
United, eh? Feel free to put some posters of your own up, you know.
Captains of industry.
Ugh! Oh, sorry.
No sugar.
- Oh, we do have some.
- Great, just the one spoon, thanks.
(Scratchy violin playing) KAREN: Darling, that's lovely.
Can l play it again for you? Not right now, but in a minute maybe.
Ramona, are you free tonight? l'm having a few friends round for a girls' night in.
Yeah, that sounds good.
- So how many are coming? - Thus far, two.
You and me, but l'm only up to the Ds.
Ah.
ADAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, great! OK, you turd.
See you later.
Pete.
Drink tonight.
Whoo-hoo! We're supposed to be filling in our adoption forms tonight.
Oh, another day won't make any difference.
lt's a question of priorities, Adam.
Which is more important? (Mobile rings) Hello? Karen, hi! Tonight, erm Yeah, that would be really great.
What time? Fine.
OK, l'll see you there.
Bye! Well, you're going out with Pete.
And, anyway, she needs some support at the moment.
Oh, no, it's a question of priorities.
Ooh! Hey, you! (Laughs) l thought you were staying in a hotel.
Yeah, l did for the first couple of days.
lt didn't suit me, really.
Too expensive? No.
lt wasn't cheap but, er, it was going down to breakfast, actually.
What? You might think l'm being paranoid, but the place seemed to be full of people like me.
Middle-aged men, cast out of the marital home for some transgression or other.
So depressing.
Maybe they were sales reps.
No, they didn't look that depressed.
- How's it going with him? - Good.
No, really.
lt beats living on your own by a long chalk.
Pete reckons l've improved his quality of life.
- Oh, yeah? How've you done that? - Well, one example Everything you ever need to know is here.
lndian, Chinese, ltalian.
Modern eclectic.
Thai, Mexican, good old-fashioned fish and chips.
Right.
l'll tell you what Why don't we sort them into separate drawers? You know, those that deliver and those that don't.
ADAM: That is a good idea.
The simplest ones are often the best.
Right, so where shall we three amigos eat tonight? Can Daddy read me a story tonight? Not tonight, my angel, no, because Daddy is staying with Uncle Pete.
Oh, my God! How many girls are coming tonight? Five.
And that is including you and me.
Well, l don't think we are going to go thirsty.
Honestly, Ramona, l have been phoning around all day.
lt's pathetic.
lt's not like people have got better things to do.
Ah, but they do because Bad Girls is on the television tonight.
(Laughs) Honestly, it was either, ''The baby's got a cough,'' or, ''Simon's too tired to baby-sit,'' or - l know what was one - ''lt was too short notice.
'' What are we supposed to do? Pencil in next Thursday for a bit of spontaneity? Uh-huh.
Actually, Bella is coming.
Now, Bella, l have not seen for years and that woman is a laugh.
God, we used to cane it.
Actually, l don't know if we've got enough.
So, how about a curry? l vote for Chinese.
What about modern eclectic? All right, then, curry.
Bella! - Hello! - Hello! Gosh, hi, how are you? Well, l hope l'm not late.
l had terrible trouble getting the children off.
Francesca didn't want me to go out.
- You know what they're like at that age.
- Yes, l do! Oh, you look lovely! Thanks.
You lookvery floral.
Come in.
Let me get you a drink.
Oh, just water for me.
lf l drink, l'll be up all night.
l will be anyway because Oscar's teething.
Anyway, l'm driving.
l'll get the door.
Can l introduce Jo? Jo, this is Bella.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Hello, nice to meet you too.
l'll go and get the door.
- Would you like a drink? - Oh, no, l'm just drinking water.
- Hello! - You don't mind me bringing a friend, do you? God, not at all.
The more the merrier.
- You know Jane.
- Yes, hello.
Jane? No! Told me straight.
Wants us to get back together.
She said that when we met on the street, it wasn't a coincidence, she contrived it.
You mean, she's stalking you? No, not stalking, no.
She's just around.
Does Rachel know about this? - Are you wise? - Are you? You're playing with fire.
Oh, bollocks.
l admit, at my stag do, l wobbled a bit.
- Which Rachel knows nothing about.
- Yeah, and doesn't need to.
Look, it's OK.
lt's not a problem.
Jane knows l'm not interested.
Adam, look, l really don't think you should see her again.
That's not very nice.
She's new in town, doesn't know anyone.
She'll meet someone else and forget all about me.
Tell him, will you? No, l agree.
l don't think you should see her again.
Well, you'll forgive me if l don't take marriage guidance from you two.
Oh, God, the first time, oh! lt's too long ago to remember.
(Laughter) - lt is! Ah, well, it was on a bench - which didn't help - erm, and it was freezing - which didn't help either, if you know what l mean.
Was it Adam? Oh, my God! lt was romantic, though, l swear, cos the waves were crashing against the rocks below, and the spray was raining down from above, but, my God, it was so cold.
l never knew pneumonia could be a sexually transmitted disease.
Well, my first time, l threw upand so did he.
My first time, l cried.
Mind you, so did he.
(Laughter) Yeah, but if you're in love, you know, like l was.
l mean, my God, he was so special.
No-one else has ever come close.
Oh, God! First love, it's just a pain in the arse.
lt ruins you for everybody else.
l'm not sure l agree with that, actually.
What about you? No.
The most recent is definitely the best.
Do you know what? l'm not sure l agree with that, either.
l don't.
l don't.
- What about you, Bella? BELLA: Lord, erm My first time erm was with my driving instructor.
God, l was a completely different person then.
Yep.
You certainly were.
Have you thought about when you're going to tell your children about sex? l mean Right, back to The Nag's Head.
Where's your boyfriend? What? Oh, he's having a pee, l think.
Excuse me, you haven't got any change, have you, for the cigarette machine? Yeah, sure, yeah.
Somewhere.
(Laughs) lt must be a No.
2.
Adam! Come on! - Quick, quick, lend me 50p.
- What for? l think l might have just pulled.
- What? ln the loo? - No! No, by the fag machine.
Oh, nice.
lt might be nice if you hurry up.
l might miss my chance.
Come on, you're not serious, are you? - Why? - What about Jenny? - Jenny left me.
- lt's a bit quick to be looking for somebody else.
David, it's just a bit of fun.
Actually, she looks like she could be a lot of fun.
Don't wait up.
Well, l'd say she'll help keep the voices at bay.
What voices? l mean, skiing is very expensive, particularly if you take the children, but they love it.
They look so sweet coming down the slopes.
KAREN: Yeah, especially when they fall over and break their precious necks.
Well, l am sorry, l'm sorry, but do you have to talk about children all night long, Bella? Well, l don't think we have, have we? Well, actually, yes, you have.
l'm sorry, but you have.
l mean, Jesus, you used to have a real personality, you know.
You used to be such a laugh and it's now Now it's like you've got no personality left.
lt's like they've sucked the life out of you.
Precious little Francesca and darling bloody Oscar! l mean, Jesus, it's like you've been taken over by the aliens.
l mean, God, Bella, it's like you're dying inside and l feel like l'm dying listening to you! l like my life.
Yeah, well, you know what? You're welcome to it.
(Scratchy violin) Joshy! Come on! l'm playing for Mummy! l think she wants to hear later, yeah? Come on! Let's go get something to eat.
There's a good boy.
Urgh.
You make the breakfast.
(Groans) No, you make breakfast.
Sorry.
- Morning.
- Morning.
The state you're in, l thought you could do with a fry-up.
Are you the naked chef? (Laughs) Jane! Nice look.
- Does Rachel know you're here? - Of course.
She invited me to stay.
- Heavy night at Karen's last night.
- What? You were there? Mm-mm.
Comparing notes.
First love.
Oh, God.
Don't worry, l didn't mention your name.
First time.
Oh, wait.
Come on, it was very cold.
Not a problem.
Kris had to contend with going for Rachel.
Bollocks.
Oh, juicy.
Jane, what are you doing? l'm teasing you.
You should be called the ''little'' chef.
RACHEL: Good morning.
Oh, hi! Adam, cover yourself up, mate.
Jane's going to think that you're harassing her.
Well, you know, you could have told me she was here.
Right, well, l'll call you, then.
- Yeah, that's great.
- Yeah.
- Bye.
- Bye.
BOTH: See you.
So, anything of any interest? lt looks like the divorce papers have come through.
What? Oh, God, we never even mentioned divorce.
Oh, l don't believe this.
l've only been here a week.
My divorce papers.
Oh, thank God for that.
l mean, you know, l'm sorry, Pete.
That's terrible.
ls there anything for me? Has Jane gone? Yes.
Where have you been hiding? l wasn't hiding.
l was going through the adoption stuff.
We've got to decide who we want to act as our referees.
Oh, yeah, that's all in hand.
Clive says he'll do it.
Your boss? Yeah, he'd be perfect.
l mean, he actually is a referee.
- Non-league, admittedly, but still.
- l hope that's a joke.
Ha! lt is serious, you know.
Uh, l hate that! We don't have to be serious about it.
You know, we need two referees.
- First one's easy - Pete.
- Adam, this is not like picking a best man.
lf he makes a speech like at our wedding, we'll never be approved.
He won't.
He knows how important this is.
He's not exactly a model parent himself.
His family live 3,000 miles away.
He might only see his son a couple of times a year.
Well, what's that got to do with it? We're the ones doing the adopting.
l mean, they need to know us, and Pete knows us best.
No.
Well, you'll have to tell him.
Adam! We said we'd agree before we talked to anyone.
l know, l know, it slipped out.
Oh, Rach, you should have seen him when l told him.
He was so made up about it.
l don't know what to say.
lt's like you've asked me to be godfather for the kid or something.
ADAM: Well, give it time.
Oh, l'm honoured.
l really am honoured.
Eh, Adam's just asked me to be a referee for this adoption thing.
Oh, you have to have a referee? You need two.
Two? David? Well, l had to.
For God's sake, Adam.
Do you even want to get approved? He's separated too! He had an affair when his children were still breast-feeding.
- lt wasn't an affair.
- They're both completely unsuitable.
And, anyway, l've already asked Karen.
What? Oh, well, excuse me, Miss Holier-Than-Thou, - l thought we had to discuss this first.
- Well, you didn't.
Well, Karen's separated! - And she drinks.
- What? She always has a bottle on the go.
l bet she was in a right state last night.
Bollocks! (Laughs hysterically) Don't you dare criticise my friend! So she likes to let her hair down every so often.
Oh, great! Our referee, the lush.
You shit! l'd pick her over your cheating bastard friends any day.
l tell you what, you're all the same.
How long have you been living with your friend now? Pete? About a fortnight.
And how's that going? - Well - Good.
No, sorry, l don't mean, ''well''.
l mean, ''Wellit's not going at all well.
'' lt did at first, but Have you filled out those divorce papers? Yes.
No, you haven't.
Mind your own business.
l mean, every morning, it's the same.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Well, you have to admit you're on a roll.
Yeah, and l haven't even told you about last night yet.
What happened last night, Pete? Well, as usual, it started badly.
- We're not watching The Money Programme.
- Hey! Well, l am not watching Pets Do The Darndest Things.
Right, well, it's going off, then.
(Turns off TV) Tidy up, if you like.
Bollocks, let's go to the pub.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Here.
Aye aye.
Oh, Pete, no! Go on! No! Look, l'm sorry, you might be trying to shag your wife out of your memory but l'm not.
And you weren't even married to her.
- What? - Forget it.
Look, you don't have to do anything.
Justjust laugh at my jokes.
So, how do you two know each other, then? Oh, let's see.
Ermmy wife's best friend is his best friend's wife.
l see.
So you're not married, then? No, he is.
You see, his wife is also a friend of his best friend.
You twat! What did you have to go and say that for? lt's all true.
Look, sorry, Pete.
l'm just a bit out of practice.
You should have told me that's what you had in mind.
l wasn't prepared.
You don't have to prepare, just relax.
Come on, loosen up! Be myself? Yeah! Well, not too much.
He says, ''A bloke came in for a shite the other day.
lt was like a breath of fresh air.
'' So, erhow do you two know each other? - Twins? What a missed opportunity.
- Who said it was missed? Ah, no, P Which one? The pretty one.
You know what? Tonight, l might even go for the full set.
Pete Gifford, what would your mother say? ''Did you wash your hands?'' l bet you never thought life after Jenny would be this good.
- Pints.
- Mm.
Have you thought any more about David? Not now, Rach.
Let's wait till we get there, eh? You know he thinks you're going to take him back.
- Well, you are, aren't you? - l don't know.
l was trying to imagine my life without him.
l can't.
Now l think of it with him, it just irritates me.
- What are you going to do? - l don't know.
Have fun for a change, l think.
Which l might - after l've done five miles on this.
Can l have a guava juice, please? Could l have a glass of Chardonnay - cold? Wellactually, we don't serve alcohol.
- But we do have grape juice.
- What? - Well, technically, wine is grape juice.
- Yes, thank you very much.
lf l wanted a lecture on fine wine, l'll ask my husband.
Shall we go and get a proper drink? Well, actually, l quite fancied that juice, so Oh! Grape juice and make it a double.
So, come on.
What's the chat with you and Adam? - l gather you rowed the other day.
- Oh, God.
We did.
And since.
This morning.
So we have to say what kind of child we would be prepared to adopt.
For instance, a child who's been abandoned.
- Yep.
- Neglected.
- Yes.
Born as a result of rape or incest.
A child with specific medical needs.
A child with unclear medical prognosis.
- A child who is visually impaired or blind.
- Hang on, hang on.
Hang on.
l'm not sure about blind.
Why not? Bringing up a child that's blind would be hard work.
l'm not sure.
l'm sorry.
l didn't know this was meant to be a picnic.
You know l don't mean it like that.
How about visually impaired? Well, how bad? l don't know.
Can't see the wood for the trees.
Blind in the left eye.
Or would you be prepared to accept the right? Oh, hold on, Rach.
There's a corker here.
Child with facial disfigurement.
- l suppose it depends how ugly they are.
- l'm being realistic.
You're trying to be selfish.
- Who are we doing this for? - For us.
Precisely! Which is exactly why we should accept whoever they place with us.
That is ridiculous.
Right.
What do you want me to write? Dear Sir, Can we have a nice, white, middle-class child who is no trouble? Preferably English.
- Think about it.
Think about it.
- What? Could we really cope with a child that's got Down's syndrome or cystic fibrosis? Look it up if you don't know what l mean.
But don't treat this like some kind of pub quiz where you get points for giving right answers.
l'm not doing that.
Adam, it's our lives we're talking about.
lt's not just the child's.
lt's our lives.
Do you really want to be a carer for the rest of your life? Think about it.
So, where is Adam now, then? l don't know and l don't care.
ADAM: All we seem to do is argue at the minute.
lt's all down to this bloody adoption thing.
l'd give you a hug, only l don't want you to take it the wrong way.
Jenny.
That's who l used to tell all my problems to.
Now she's on the other side of the Atlantic.
lt's OK.
l mean, it's a difficult time.
Especially if you're not sure.
Hey, do you remember that time in Donegal? Remember? l've been trying to forget.
(Phone rings) lt's all right.
l'll get it.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Karen.
Yeah, he's right here.
What? Oh.
Yeah.
Sure.
Sure.
Yeah, l suppose so.
Ermyeah, that's fine.
OK.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What time? Yeah, OK.
All right.
See you.
Bye.
Thanks.
- Didn't she want to speak to me? - Oh, sorry, l never asked.
What was all that about, then? Ermshe's asked me to go for a drink.
You don't mind, do you? (Phone rings) Yep.
Oh, hiya.
Yeah.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
Karen.
Hello.
Yes.
Baby-sitting? Yes, l suppose l could.
So, what time do you want me? Bloody hell.
PETE: We'll never get in.
KAREN: Leave it to me.
Karen, we're not members.
Just look enigmatic.
How did you do that? l told them you were a film star.
And he recognised me? He doesn't watch those kind of films! - Daddy? - Yes, Joshy.
Can you come and see me play tomorrow? Course l will, darling.
House music lt's the only way to fly.
- l'm going to go and make some shapes.
- Eh? Yours, l believe.
Oh, cheers.
Who was that? l've no idea.
(Knocks on door) Rach, can we talk? Come on, Rach.
This is silly.
Look, Rach, will you open the door? Hello.
(Laughs) - What? l think we should ask Pete and Karen to be our referees.
- There's nothing wrong with them.
- What about David? l'll talk to him.
He'll be fine.
l'm sorry l've been a bit sharp with you recently.
Hey, six of you, half a baker's dozen of me.
Do you need a bath? l do need a bath, actually.
Ermyou're right, you know.
l should be more realistic about children with disabilities and so on.
- You think? - Yeah.
Why make it harder on ourselves? lt's gonna be tough enough anyway, you know.
Well, yeah.
That's what Jane said.
Jane? Has she rung? N-No.
l met her for a drink.
You didn't tell me.
You didn't tell me you were taking her to Karen's party.
That's slightly different.
lt was just a drink.
Which you didn't mention to me.
Because it was unimportant.
ln which case, why didn't you mention it to me? l'm sorry, have l done something wrong here? l don't know, but you're acting very strangely.
Oh, come on.
Adam, why didn't you invite me? Because we had a row.
Right.
So, we have a row and you run to your ex-girlfriend for a shoulder to cry on.
No! Where are you going? l've already had my bath.
MAN: Funny that, wasn't it? KAREN: Yeah, it was very funny.
MAN: Do you want a drink or what? - No, thanks.
- Come on, have a drink.
No, really.
Thank you.
Hey, baby! Do you know where the loos are? l'm absolutely busting l'm really sorry, Pete! No! No, thanks! Tosser.
Do you want another drink? Yeah.
But can l have a beer this time? l'm trying to cut down on salt.
- Hey, loos are back there.
- Right.
(Glass clinking) He said, ''l'm a welder.
'' (Karen laughs hysterically) - Arghh! - Hiya, baby.
- Pete, what the hell are you doing? - What? This is Rick.
He owns the bar.
This is Pete, a friend of mine.
- How are you doing? - Good.
l'ml'm sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Does he always greet you like that? Excuse me.
l'm sorry.
Thanks.
(Door closes) Karen? David, you're still here? Oh, hi, Ramona.
- Yes, Karen's not back yet.
- lt's very late.
lf you want, l can take over and you can go home.
l meanback to Pete's.
Well, if you're sure.
Yeah.
Of course.
- Oh, thanks, Ramona.
- That's OK.
WOMAN: So, Pete, l was telling you about my holiday, wasn't l, eh? - Went skiing.
Have you been skiing? - No.
No.
No? l tell you, you would find it brilliant.
lt's fantastic.
Found this little bar, right? - They had these little shots - Excuse me, love.
Yeah.
Oh.
Hey! Hey! Look l thought l'd call us both a cab.
Won't your date mind? Come on.
- lt's not like that.
- Yeah, right.
lt's all right.
You go on.
No, no, no.
Look, it's fine.
l'll stay here.
Pete! Go home! Karen, l am David's friend.
You're like the police! Aren't l allowed to go out on my own? Not if you're gonna do something you'll regret! lt's a bit late for you to start getting moral, mate.
RlCK: Hello.
This man bothering you? Yes.
- For you.
- (Laughs) - You happy? - Yeah.
Can we go somewhere else? Sure.
Techno Have you had a good time? (Laughs) Get off.
ls that your car? Hey, you turn me on.
Oh, get off.
l said get off! - Huh! - Ahh! Get off! You know, if l really wanted to but right now you're not in the least bit attractive.
(Car starts) (Alarm clock beeps) PETE: Oh, God.
RADlO: Good morning.
Jennifer Lopez l thought l heard you up.
So, how was last night? Did Karen have a good time? Yeah.
You know.
Right Mind, if l use the bathroom? Don't put it back.
Buy it for me.
You know it's my favourite album.
Our favourite album.
When did you last buy me a CD? What's going on here, Adam? You said that Jane was history.
Nothing special.
lf you're going to buy all your exes CDs, l think we're gonna have to start making cutbacks.
That's right.
Put it back, Adam.
Oh, leave the guy alone.
All the time it's nag, nag, nag.
No wonder he'd rather be with me than you.
Rubbish! l'm the love of his life.
l can give him children.
You can't.
You just give him grief.
We love each other.
He doesn't love you.
You're justnostalgia.
Put the CD back, Adam.
- Buy it for me, Adam.
- Put it back.
- Buy it.
- Put it back.
Buy it, Adam.
Please.
- Put it back.
- Buy it, Adam.
Girls, will you just shut up? So, did you have fun last night .
.
with Pete? Yeah, thanks.
Why? Did he say anything? He said you had a good time.
(Scratchy violin) Not now, Josh, please.
Just wait till we get inside.
Sh! Go on.
Go.
- Hiya.
- Hey.
For you.
(Laughs) You old romantic.
- God, l've not heard this in years.
Not since - Donegal.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Oop.
l think it's best if we didn't see each other again.
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star (Applause) - Awful, isn't it? - God, yes.
Tell me you're not in love with me.
Oh, l don't know.
What is love? - Yes, l am not in love with you.
- You're lying, Adam, to yourself as well as me.
Janel will always love you.
You were first.
But that was a long time ago.
lf we hadn't met again in lreland But we did.
And what happened then was A mistake.
- Nothing has changed.
- Of course lt has! lt was my stag do, for God's sake! l know you feel for Rachel and you don't want to hurt her.
She's a great girl.
God, it's better to do it now than six months down the line, a year, whatever.
l love Rachel.
l love you.
l choose her.
And you think you have that choice? Do you think if she knew about me that you'd have that luxury? You wouldn't tell her.
lsn't that what you want me to do, deep down? No! - Force the issue.
- No.
Jane, for me, please, don't.
l'd do it for you.
l know you, Adam.
You love me, l love you.
lt's in your eyes.
That is why l gave up everything.
That's why l gave up lreland for you.
And that is why you must give up Rachel for me.
Leave us alone.
Well, that seemed to go pretty well, didn't it? lt was awful.
But you were excellent, Josh.
Wasn't he, David? Yes, you were, Joshy.
Easily the best.
Actually, l didn't mean the concert, l meant us.
David, this is not a good time to be talking - You must admit - David, just leave it! Watch out! - Shit! - Why weren't you looking?! You distracted me! David! Shit! Shit! Shit! - ls there any damage? - Of course there is.
Oh, no.
No! No! Oh, no! Oh, wonderful.
David.
David.
- David, l think l'm over the limit.
- You only had a couple of glasses.
Three.
And l had a drink before l came out.
- What? - l was dreading it! David, please, will you say you were driving? Josh, stay on the pavement.
Sir.
Madam.
What's happened here? Umwe've had a slight accident.
lt was all my fault, officer.
We had a bit of a row.
- Andl took my eyes off the road.
- And you were driving, were you, sir? Absolutely, officer.
- This your son, sir? - Yes.
- Do you mind if l have a word? - No, of course.
- So what's your name, young man? - Josh.
Tell me, Josh, who was driving the car - your daddy or your mummy? Daddy.
All right, we'll still have to do a breath test, sir.
Step over to the car, please.
Certainly.
- You always do this.
- l haven't for aeons.
No, l mean make up when it's me who's at fault.
- Was it on offer? - Two for 22 quid.
What else did you get? l was joking.
- l'll put these in water.
- l'll put this on.
Here, you'd better drive.
How could you do that? Get behind the wheel of the car when you knew you were over the limit.
Didn't you think of Josh? lt was an outrageous thing to do, to put your family's life at risk! You're way out of control, Karen, you know that? l have no idea what it is you want.
Do you want a divorce? Do you want a custody battle? Cos l'm telling you this, Karen, l am not going to let my family be driven around by a drunk! Get in the car.
- Cheers.
- l'll look for a flat in the morning.
lt's not that bad yet.
You can always leave it till the day after.
l've told you, you can stay with me.
No, l meant long-term.
You'll sort it.
You and Karen are meant for each other.
- No, no, no.
- Look, you are! They've given me tofu! l said no tofu! ANSWERPHONE: You have three messages.
Message One.
KAREN: David, it's me.
Listen, l'm really sorry about what happened earlier.
lt was really irresponsible of me.
Anyway, just to prove to you that l do not have a drink problem, l'm going to pour myself a glass of wine and l'm not going to touch it all evening.
And l'm sure you'd agree that if l did have a drink problem, or, as you so eloquently put it, if l were a drunk, that l would not be able to exercise this degree of self-control.
l'll call you in the morning.
Sober.
l couldn't do it, Pete.
l had to have a drink.
David's right, Pete.
l think l might be an alcoholic.
One drink does not make you an alcoholic.
Would you like a cup of tea? Anyway, l'm going to go and see a shrink.
Don't suppose you know any good therapists, do you? Hang on.
There you go.
Be my guest.
Do you see a therapist? Come on! l'm not nuts.
Neither are you.
No, l found it down the side of the sofa.
Must have slipped down there, l suppose.
A Freudian slip! Sorry.
l wonder whose it is.
Well, to be honestthere's been quite a few women round here in the last fortnight, and l don't want to sound harsh, but it could be any one of theirs.
That's awful.
That is awful.
Look at the state of us, Pete, for God's sake.
Out every night, pretending we're having a good time.
How sad is that? How sadis that? What kind of life's that? Next time you do a shopping list, can you put all the vegetables together? What is the point being married to an idiot Oh, my God! What are you doing here? - What? Adam! - You bitch.
- ls that what you think of me? - Whatever she's told you, it's not true.
OK, my stag weekend, l spent the night with her.
l did not sleep with her and, Jane, l do not love you! What? l came to say goodbye.
l'm going back to lreland.
l didn't say a word.
l wouldn't.
God, l love you too much for that.
Rachel, l am so sorry.
And l am so sad that you have such a low opinion of me.
Excuse me.
Hi.
Can l make an appointment to see Mr Campbell, please? - Could we make it next Thursday? - Yes.
David? Karen.
- What are you doing here? - l was visiting a client.
- Mr Campbell.
- Yeah, right, David.
MAN: l'm Mr Campbell.
My therapist.
This is Karen, my wife.
Nice to meet you.
David has mentioned you.
- l had no idea.
DAVlD: l'm sorry.
l thought it would help.
No, David, l think that's fantastic.
You do? (Sobs) David, l need help.
l really need some help.
David, l need help really badly.
(Sobs) l'm sorry.
l'm sorry.
l'm sorry.
David, please will you come to lunch on Sunday? l'd love to.
And the children would like it.
No, David, l'd really like it.
l'd really like it.
Don't suppose you do a family discount, do you?