Dawn of the Croods (2015) s04e03 Episode Script

1 [Sandy muttering.]
Oh! Listen to that baby, pretending she has something to say.
Okay, that stopped being charming.
Ahhh! Valley Home to a hundred stories Ahhh! Valley Where life is never boring Everyone is out there doing Who knows what But here I am Still stuck beneath this butt My sister took a dare To make Womp not be so weak My brother's seeing What life's like with a beak I could do cool stuff Let's call Thunk's "unique" But fear my whole life trapped Beneath these cheeks! I wanna meet new animals And taste each one Maybe bite some new people, too Oh, wouldn't that be fun? Even Pram up there gets To dine on fruits While I'm trapped down here With her awful toots! Oh, Mom and Dad, let me run free I may be young, but I'm no baby I wish I could escape With just one giant push But my whole world is smushed Beneath this tush Huh! How was she today? Sounded like she was baring her soul in some sort of musical number.
Ugh.
Again? I know you don't like being baby-sat, sweetie.
[sighs.]
Humph.
Rough day? Me too.
I know what'll cheer us both up! Some good old mindless violence! [squeals.]
Kick his flank! [commentator.]
Ouch! Jerkalippo has no answer for Thunderhooves and his punishing trunkercut, right, Earl? [babbling.]
Couldn't have put it better myself.
[croaks.]
Ahem.
Hmm? [growls.]
[commentator.]
There's the pin.
One, two, three! Huh? Whoo-hoo! You're as brutal as those maniacs in the ring.
[chuckles.]
Gran is right I was born to fight Why would I have all these teeth If not to bite? [snapping.]
I'll show I'm not a baby I am a strong little lady Fiercer than that wild liyote With rabies Rabies Hi, Mr.
Thunderhooves Big fan, nice win I'd like to be a wrestler So tell me who to pin Sorry, but babies are too young To be fighters So beat it, kid And go and change your diaper [sniffs.]
Okay, that stink is my bad But give me a shot Check out how I tied That guy's legs into a knot Just 'cause I'm small Ah-hh Doesn't mean I can't brawl Ooh-hh This dumb valley Won't let me do anything at all Hah! Not Food loves wrestling too! Aw, dang it, he's shedding.
That's it, you guys! I'll wear a disguise She'll wear a disguise I'll be a monkhuahua They won't realize I'll use a fake name And kick butt just the same And if anyone doubts me They're gonna get maimed [babbles.]
Hmm! Looks like she's having fun.
[commentator.]
Put your paws and tentacles together for the Iron Beak! [cheering.]
Iron Beak will be taking on newcomer Mandy Monkhuahua.
- [crickets chirping.]
- [coughs.]
Your mom wouldn't approve, but I love seeing children fight.
[chuckles.]
Now, go tear this guy fin from fin! [commentator.]
Ouch! Ho-ho! Based on this start, Earl, what would you say Mandy has, no chance or less than no chance? - [snorts.]
- Profound insight, as always.
You can do it, Mandy! Is it too late to get my entry fee back? [Sandy snarls.]
What's this? Momentum changing in a wrestling match? Now, I've seen everything! And she's won it! Shutting up her most vocal critic me! Hah! - [laughs.]
- Whoo-hoo! From there, the legend of Mandy grew The baddest little wrestler The valley ever knew The fiercest, fastest fighter From out of the blue She made old Jenny Crab Claws cry Fangster, the Gangster barely had To try The Slaksicutioner Never stood a chance She beat the Carrion brothers With only a glance Sandy raked in all the food Gran could eat Her family knew nothing She was real discreet Sandy, why does your hair look so wrestled? She could beat me, she could beat you The raddest Probably least likely, too The baddest little wrestler The valley ever knew [commentator.]
What a match! Mandy and World Beatah Cheetah are both in it to pin it! [grunts.]
[commentator.]
And here comes the pin.
No, wait.
A little taunting first.
[squealing.]
And finally, a pin! Mandy wins again.
And, with this victory, she's earned a spot in the "Blitz by the Pits.
" Gosh, I don't know who will win the Blitz, but Mandy best watch out.
Her swift rise has sure made her a target.
That's it.
Show 'em who's boss.
[grunting.]
You're gonna dominate this Blitz hoozajigger.
I just know it.
How tough can the competition be? [bangs.]
So they're basically all straight-up nightmare monsters.
You sure you wanna go up against them? [bangs.]
I've come so far I can't stop now They think they're monsters I eat monsters for chow! [giggles.]
I'll assume that's a "yes.
" Come on.
Go change so we can go home.
[commentator.]
Welcome to the "Blitz by the Pits.
" Five will enter, one will win.
Your combatants - Sledgerammer - [screeches.]
- Alby the Giant - [roars.]
- the Moler Brawler Man - [growls.]
- Mandy Monkhuahua - [snaps.]
- and Thunderhooves! - [stomps.]
Ugga! What are you doing here? And answer before I say anything else so I know how much of my scheme to reveal.
I thought I'd bring Not Food to see that new Mandy wrestler.
He has so few positive monkhuahua role models.
[screeches.]
[commentator.]
Enough set-up, people.
Let's get blitzin' by the pits in.
Hold the bone! World Beatah Cheetah and Fangster the Gangster just entered the ring for some unknown dramatic reason.
[ripping.]
[gasps.]
[gasps.]
Sandy?! Mandy is a baby And that's against the rules She's a liar and a cheater She made me feel like a fool So I lied about my age and species But come on, guys, be cool? Gran, you knew about this? Yes, but what you need to understand is, I got free food! You embarrassed all of wrestling Especially those you beat Well, if you want to fight us, girl We'll pound you into feet - It's supposed to be "meat.
" - Correction.
We'll pound you into meat It's hard coming up with lyrics on the fly.
Oh, yeah! [cracking.]
[commentator.]
Oh, now, that is some angry knuckle-cracking, folks.
[bell rings.]
[commentator.]
Down goes Sledgerammer.
And there goes Alby, too.
The Moler Brawler Man looks like he's about to spew! But Thunderhooves is the best.
Gonna miss this poor girl.
[gasps.]
Oh-hh On second thought What was I thinking? A baby wrestler, that's nuts I should've listened when they said I belong under Pram's butt Don't give up, Sandy I've seen what you can do Stick it to that tusky jerk Smash him into goo! [commentator.]
She's gotten up! Who would've thought this baby had more in her? Look at that! I can't believe it! Sandy's the winner! [cheering.]
Everybody learned that day That babies could be strong and brave Sticking them Under giant butts is wrong [screaming.]
The wrestlers changed their rules So that everyone could fight Babies too As for Sandy, she retired Left a legend like no other And after all that Still got grounded by her mother The end [laughing.]
Oh, man, Munk, you always find the best scratching rocks.
Oh, thank you.
When you're as itchy as me, you gotta know the lay of the land.
Well, hey, you found your spot.
Hey, hey! Still on job here! No make Amber separate you two like Wal and Loo.
Uh, Loo, want Amber share with entire hunting party? Guys, the elusive but oh-so-juicy birger.
Add a side of flies, and you got the best meal known to caveman.
Oh! Amber have major birger craving.
So no repeat what happen last time.
[yells.]
Amber! What am I supposed to do again? - [growls.]
- Oh! Be quiet.
[yells.]
You can count on me! These flowers always make me sneeze when I smell 'em.
[sniffs.]
Ah-choo! Oh-hh! Munk deprive Amber of chance to eat birger, so Amber eat Munk instead! [inhales deeply.]
Amber realize that little extreme.
But you dead to me.
Please leave hunt now.
Oh, man.
Guess it's time to go back to my old job, not having a job.
Oh, no, I'm late.
Look, I know Munk can be a little Munk-ish sometimes, but No.
Bort a little Bort-ish.
You call my name, boss? Well, if I can make him less Munk-ish, could he have his job back? And maybe Amber eat Bort instead? It would be an honor and a pleasure.
Okay, so I'll need to Munk-proof.
Munk's nose, mouth, hands, feet, tongue, hair ooh, and ears.
He has gotten his hunting rock stuck in his ear.
Or I could get a new Munk.
Ooh! Hey, kids! Who wants to cut off all their hair and wear this? Uh, are you playing "stick-stack-stone" against a chickuna? Diagonal? I never stood a chance.
Okay, I'm concerned.
But how concerned should I be? Only a little.
Squawk found these new purple worms, so our homework is to taste-test them for him.
Yeah, and since we got violently ill last time he gave us that assignment, we pawned it off on this chickuna.
When we tried to feed it the worms, they jumped up its nose and, well, made it smarter? [snorts.]
Whoa! Hey, do you think those would work on a person? Aw, Dad, you wanna be smarter? No, I'm naturally a smart-thinky guy.
I want them for Munk.
Why would you wanna change Munk like that? I mean, changing a chickuna's fine 'cause we're just gonna eat it later.
You understood that, didn't you? Are you telling me to shove them up Munk's nose? Should I listen to you? - Almost got it! - Can't escape us, chickuna! Hey, Grug, can't talk.
Busy doing my new job of nothing.
And these nothings won't nothing themselves.
Let's say there was a worm that could jump up your nose and get your old job back.
Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh You had me at "worm up my nose.
" Now, to see if it worked.
Munk, wanna sniff these flowers? No, thanks.
Then I'll sneeze, and I might fall out of my tree.
But maybe falling would be good.
Only one way to know.
[sniffs.]
Ah-choo! You're gonna need more worms.
[gasps.]
Okay, which of these things is not like the others? [chuckles.]
Trick question.
They're all things I eat.
[crunches.]
[gasps.]
Just follow the berry.
Loud noises spook birgers.
So, to catch one, you must Now, you fill in the blank.
Come on, I know you can do this.
At least, show me you know how to talk? - Uh, what is that thing? - My new invention.
Rather than attempt to sneak up on birger, this will lure and trap it for us.
Well, that seems like a good idea, but I just watched you try to eat a rock, so let's see if this works.
[sniffs.]
[snaps.]
[all gulping.]
Why birger cross field? To get away from Amber mouth! [laughing.]
Mmm! Anyone else's stomach sending a signal to their brain, cueing them that they desire sustenance? [all.]
Eh? Allow me to rephrase.
Who would like to eat birgers wrapped in birger butts, which I call buns? [all.]
Ah! Amber not sure what Grug do to old Munk, but Amber loving new Munk.
Let's just say Munk wormed it up.
Amber no understand.
Let's just say I swiped a bunch of worms from my kids, put them up Munk's nose, and they made him like this.
[chuckles.]
If you catch my drift.
Yeah, Grug very explicit in Grug explanation.
Wonder if worms work on Bort.
[gnawing.]
Mmm! - Amber ready destroy Bort! - The worms will do wonders for him, and I bet they could even help you talk less Amber-ish.
Amber already talk good.
But Amber excited by prospect of Amber talking even gooder.
Actually, the whole hunting party could benefit from worming it up.
[snaps.]
Well, except me, the truly, truly great hunter who came up with this.
[grunting.]
Grug make compelling argument.
Dummies, time to become less dumb! Well, now that I got your job back, how about we go celebrate a little, maybe get our scratch on, huh? Oh, yeah, that hits the spot on my back that was itchy.
Scratching is an inefficient use of time.
There are only 247 minutes of daylight remaining.
What are minutes? And you love to scratch.
You always make this noise like [moans.]
Eh? Hey, how about we wash down these birgers with your favorite drink? Lukewarm smashfruit.
Combining birgers and smashfruit is not part of a heart-healthy diet.
Yeah, you seem different.
Less Munk-ish, which is good, but also less Munk-ish, which is bad.
Um, hey, Amber, might want to hold off on those worms.
I think they did something weird to Amber? Amber busy contemplating the implications of a most intriguing theory.
Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared.
Are you trying a new joke? 'Cause I get it.
I mean [laughing.]
it's funny 'cause it's confusing.
Wrong.
Only cretins tell jokes because they're not sophisticated enough to create works of actual drama.
But you love jokes.
And Oh, the worms messed you up too.
How many of you tried them? Stop messing with those weird squiggles and answer me, guys! All of them have.
And those squiggles are letters of the alphabet.
A-B-C-D-E-F-G Stop being weird You're scaring me Oh, this was a mistake.
Things were better when Bort was obsessed with Amber, and Amber was obsessed with hating Bort, and wait, where'd Bort go? Bort went to eradicate ignorance through the valley.
Ignor-what? [sighs.]
Amber will use words that Grug will understand.
Bort went to make everyone worm it up.
[yells.]
Oof! Pshh.
Jokes are for cretins, but physical comedy is for Neanderthals.
[grunts.]
Don't take those worms! Huh? I've invented a new, more comfortable sitting device.
No! This will revolutionize modern transportation.
[screams.]
[panting.]
Kids, help me de-worm the valley.
[gasps.]
No! Not you guys too! You should join us, Father.
You can be better too.
- Join us.
- Yes, join us.
He taught himself how to speak.
Oh, no, no, no! I like being the way I am! - [Amber.]
Join us.
Join us.
Join us.
- [man.]
Join us, Grug.
[all.]
Join us, Grug.
Join us, Grug.
[screaming.]
Join us, Grug.
Join us, Grug.
Join us, Grug.
It's time, Grug.
I never should've tried to change you.
I miss the real Munk.
He was funny and kind and had an itchy head and was always sneezing.
[gasps.]
That's it! [sniffs.]
Ah-choo! Are you back to normal? I'm not sure.
Say, what if Mr.
Sun isn't some sky creature but rather a ball of flaming plasma? Okay, that sounds crazy, but is it worm-crazy or Munk-crazy? Ah, just to be safe [sniffs.]
Ah-choo! Know what? Instead of washing my underpelts, I should just turn 'em inside out, over and over again forever.
[laughs.]
Yeah! Gross, but that kinda makes sense, so [sniffs.]
Ah-choo! Ooh! These flowers always make me sneeze.
I wonder what will happen if I smell them.
You're back! [laughs.]
But how are we gonna get the worms out of everyone else's noses? Well, I know what I do when something gets stuck up my nose, but it's pretty me-ish.
That was super disgusting, but I think everyone's back to normal.
Hey, Grug and Munk! Hear one about ramu, buffalippo and mosquitoad who walk into Amber cave? No walk out again because Amber eat them! [laughs.]
[laughing.]
[Bort.]
I love you! [grunts.]
[laughs.]
Yeah, definitely back to normal.
So how about you and I celebrate? You got the itch to scratch? [chuckles.]
Remember, play dumb around the cave people.
Our time will come.
[chuckling.]
[gasping.]