Everwood s04e03 Episode Script

NARRATOR: Previously on Everwood: HANNAH: I loved it when you used to tell me everything about your life last year.
But now that I'm dating you, it's different.
You need to develop a censor.
NlNA: I want us to be friends again.
-Can we do that? -I don't see why not.
Whatever happened with Reid? Did he call you? BRlGHT: He's moving in.
I didn't tell you? AMY: Shut up.
For real? Too bad he's gay.
-What? -Yeah.
Reid's a big homosexual.
AMY: I can't keep crying over you, Ephram.
Why can't we just go back to being friends like always? Because we were never friends.
We can still talk.
We just can't go back.
-Give me that flag.
Give me that flag.
-What? What are you doing? MAN: Give me my hat back.
[lNAUDlBLE DlALOGUE.]
Are you interested in photography? Um, yeah, actually.
I don't really know much about it, but I'm certainly interested in it.
That makes you a perfect candidate for our club.
-I'm Maura.
-Amy.
Nice to meet you.
RElD: Is there anything you don't do? AMY: Hi.
-Hey.
-How are you? -I'm great, how are you? RElD: Nursing your mom, starting college and saving the world? Guess you're one of those "I'll sleep when I die" types.
I like to keep busy because I'm used to like eight classes back at County and now I only have three.
Well, three college classes amount to like eight high-school classes, trust me.
And you're taking Organic Chemistry, which makes it like 10 high-school classes.
If you need help with this, come by.
-Really? RElD: Yeah.
It'll be good to brush up on this.
Plus it'll make me feel smart which is something I haven't felt since med school started.
Uh, speaking of which, I gotta run.
I gotta go meet my new best friend, Ed, a.
k.
a.
my cadaver.
That's what I'm looking for, friends who don't talk back.
Funny.
You're funny.
Whoa.
Excuse me.
He is so hot.
And gay.
Hot and gay.
All the good ones are.
Here.
Come by Friday, meet everyone.
BRlGHT: "A Midsummer Night's Bacchanal.
" -It's "bacchanal.
" In honor of Bacchus, the Greek god of wine, women and song.
-ls it a party? -Yeah, it's a party, and we're going.
Think we need fake lDs, or we can use campus ones? -Wait, we? -Yeah, we.
I love parties.
Since when? You're a social black hole.
All light goes into you and dies.
First, it's not certain whether light is conscious, so it can't die.
Second of all, I'm going crazy.
No piano, no Amy.
All I have is my Lit homework, and I read all that in AP English.
Told you AP classes were a waste.
You didn't listen.
Besides, we're in college now.
Time to unleash the new Ephram Brown, party animal extraordinaire.
-Oh, I just remembered, I can't go.
-Why? -You got plans or something? -No, I got a girlfriend.
So? So you don't go to a party when you have a girlfriend.
It's like taking Ben & Jerry's to 31 Flavors.
EPHRAM: Parties are not just designed solely for hooking up with chicks, okay? Yeah, they are.
Okay, um, so bring Hannah with you.
I'm sure she'd love to go to a college party.
Dude, have you met Hannah? You're not gonna go to another party as long as you live? Hey, man, I'm just trying to grow up here, okay? I'm sorry, I'll try to support your newfound maturity.
Thank you.
Turn this in for me, will you? Enjoy the party.
Hey, don't worry about me.
I'll be fine.
I don't need a wingman or anything.
Cool.
Uh-oh.
Tough call, Vanilla Swiss Almond or Chocolate Macadamia Nut? I know, it sounds more like an ice-cream parlor than a coffee shop, huh? Who cares? Business is obviously booming.
I guess that's, uh, why I haven't seen much of you lately.
-Yeah, well, I basically live here now.
MAN: Nina? Oh, sorry, I gotta get this.
MAN: It was great, thanks.
You know, I was thinking, maybe you guys should come over for dinner sometime.
-Bet you're in need of a home-cooked meal.
-Your cooking? -Not exactly a selling point, Andy.
-I took an ltalian cooking class this summer.
I now make a restaurant-quality bolognese sauce.
-Would, uh, Saturday work for you? -Babe, are these all the invoices? We gotta get that tax info mailed out to Brian.
Andy, my man, how are you? Jake, hey.
Congratulations on this whole operation.
-It's really amazing.
-Well, blondie's the boss.
I just work here.
[NlNA & JAKE CHUCKLE.]
So, uh, what's Saturday? Um, Andy invited us over for dinner.
He's making bolognese.
You, the kids.
I thought we'd do it family-style.
I love the bolognese.
Let me just check my book.
-Great.
JAKE: Great.
Great.
Great.
-Good morning.
-Mm.
You're looking very dapper this morning, Harold.
-I like the tie.
-Oh, thank you.
Went with the full Windsor today.
Takes a little longer.
-ls that ltalian roast? -I know, I haven't had coffee for months.
But I woke up this morning with a taste for it.
Well, that is wonderful news, Rose.
-Meaningful, wonderful news.
-I don't know what it means.
I'm just happy to wake up and smell the coffee again.
What you're experiencing is nothing short of a cellular metamorphosis.
Well, that's nice.
-What time will you be home tonight? -Usual 6:00, I'd imagine.
Why? I thought maybe we should celebrate all this good news.
-Amy's staying late at school -Mm-hm.
and I was thinking about making a pot roast for dinner and cheesecake for dessert.
Really? It's been a while since we've had cheesecake.
-You sure you're ready for that? -I feel ready.
What does Dr.
Chao say? Well, it'll be three weeks before I can even take this PET scan, so I'm kind of in limbo.
But while I'm waiting, she advised me not to deny myself anything.
Butter on my popcorn, cream in my coffee, and cheesecake.
Well, we mustn't disobey the good doctor's orders.
I'll see you at 6:00.
On the nose.
Do you really think Jack White's hot? I'm looking at him here, and I gotta say, I question his hygiene routine.
Yeah, but he's like dirty-hot, not like Reid hot.
Amy, Reid is unavailable.
Doesn't mean he's not hot.
You must move on.
I will, but for right now, it's perfect.
I get to practice my flirting techniques without worrying about getting rejected.
Because you've already been rejected? Hannah, my entire gender has been rejected.
I cannot take that personally.
Oh, my God.
Ephram's here.
Oh, yeah, uh, I meant to tell you.
Wait, you knew Ephram was gonna be here today? More like I knew he was gonna be here every day.
-What? -Ephram moved in with Bright.
It was totally last minute, and I meant to tell you, but-- Ephram moved in with Bright, and you meant to tell me? That's like Paul Revere, get-on-your-horse-and-ride information.
I'm sorry, it's just Bright and l had that stuff to work out.
I kept thinking I'll tell you when I see you, but I never see you.
You're always at school and I'm always here.
-I'm just a horrible human being.
-No, you're not.
You're a girlfriend now, which means you have more important things on your mind.
I get it, and I'm so happy for you.
Then why do you seem so sad? I'm not sad, I'm just really tired.
Campus is really big, and I got lost a couple times today.
The weird thing is not really knowing anyone in the halls because I haven't met anyone yet, but you know what? Oh, God, I'm just being a complainer.
I'm fine.
-It's okay, you can always complain to me.
-Thank you.
It's all good.
I'll see you later.
-Why, you're not gonna come inside? -I can't.
-Why don't we go somewhere else? -Be with your boyfriend.
I've got a lot of homework to do, okay? I'll call you later.
Okay.
ANDY: So how long have you been on antidepressants? Uh, about a year now.
I started taking them maybe six months after my brother Mike died.
My mom thought it would help.
I'm sorry about that.
-Do you mind if I ask--? -Car accident.
It was the summer before he was leaving for college that it happened.
He said I could move into his room after he left.
And he gave me this because he knew how much I wanted it.
"Colorado Youth Baseball Champs.
" -Cool.
-lt was his lucky hat.
Anyway, after it happened, I was pretty much a disaster.
I started sleeping all the time, cutting school.
My folks took me to a guy in Denver who put me on this stuff.
-I see.
So it's not working anymore? -No, it works great.
Got my grades up and a girlfriend and everything.
Oh, terrific.
Then why are you here? The thing is, my girlfriend and I are pretty serious now and we're ready to take it to the next level.
So you need contraception? I wish.
See I can't, uh.
Oh, I got it.
Well, first off, I hope you understand that it's not your fault, Ethan.
Erectile dysfunction is a very common side effect of antidepressants.
Your girlfriend should understand.
I don't feel like telling Karen about the antidepressant thing.
-It's not exactly great date talk.
-Of course.
It's your choice.
But so I went online and read that Viagra works fine with my meds and it would help me be normal again.
-That may be, but you're 17.
-So? Well, it hasn't been clinically tested on anyone under 19.
Plus you're a minor.
-Yeah, but I'll be 18 in like six months.
-True.
But until then, I can't write you a prescription without parental consent.
-I could call your parents and talk-- -No, you can't call them.
They don't need another thing to start stressing out over, trust me.
So basically, I have like zero options.
No, no, you have a few options, they're just not options that you like.
Look, why don't you think about it? And, um, I'm not going anywhere.
El Sombrero looks good.
They give the chimichangas two "muy, muys.
" Uh, no Mexican, Hannah, some of us have to live here.
[CHUCKLES.]
All right.
Well, that leaves Chinese and Thai.
Thai, I like it better than Chinese.
There's a difference? Thailand has a large Chinese population, which is why Thai food has Chinese flavors.
But there's also a lot of Vietnamese and lndian immigrants so the food, like the culture, became a melting pot.
-You learned that in med school? -Food Network.
Gay people, they just know so many things.
EPHRAM: I never would have thought that you'd like Thai food, Hannah.
Makes me wonder, what else don't I know about you? How do you feel about, oh, I don't know, uh, parties? -Do you like parties? -I don't know.
I did the conga line on the cruise.
Does that count? -Dude, knock it off.
-What? No.
All I'm saying is you don't wanna go because you don't think Hannah would.
I think we should let Hannah decide for herself.
Go where? MAN [SlNGlNG ON RADlO.]
: Wake up, wake up, wake up -Ahem.
"A Midsummer Night's Bacchanal.
" -Yeah, it's just a party.
People letting loose, having fun, going crazy, whatever.
Yeah, wouldn't know, because I'm not going.
-lt might be interesting.
-It's not gonna be, trust me.
-Are you mad? -No, I'm not mad, it's just-- We're not going, so let's drop it.
MAN [SlNGlNG ON RADlO.]
: I was dreamin' I was dreamin' Well, you're up early.
Did you sleep well? Like a baby.
Didn't realize how exhausted I was yesterday.
-Must have been Carol Meyer's triplets.
-Children do take it out of you.
What is it, Rose? You're lurking.
Nothing, I was just wanting to make sure you're okay.
I'm fine.
Good, because these things do happen now and then.
-You don't have to give it another thought.
-I won't.
Thanks.
You know, Amy left for school already, so if you wanted to, we could.
Well, unfortunately, I do have an 8:00.
Ruby Weaver's phlebitis is acting up, so.
Well, maybe we could make a plan for tonight? Rose, I am delighted that you are feeling amorous these days but I'm not your personal gigolo.
I cannot produce passion like a prisoner scheduling a conjugal visit.
For me, spontaneity is half the delight of amore.
Not to mention my medical reservations.
You did just have spinal surgery.
-Three months ago.
-Yes.
But we don't have the results till you get your PET scan.
We don't even know if the chemo even worked.
-Physical exertion may impair-- -Just forget it.
Rose.
There's a mature response.
Come back.
I'm merely trying to explain-- I do not need you to explain my cancer to me.
-I have an oncologist for that.
-Like it or not, this is complicated.
No, it's not, it's simple.
-lf you don't wanna have sex, just say so.
-Fine.
-I don't wanna have sex.
-Good, neither do l.
BOTH: Fine.
[SlGHS.]
I could fill that out for you, save you the trouble.
I'm a federal employee, doc.
Would I tell you how to do a proctology exam? Hey, Jake, how's it going? -Andy.
MORT: Two dollars twelve.
-Want insurance? -No, thanks.
-Keep the change, Mort.
-Afraid I can't do that.
Let me get the change box.
Back in a jiffy.
So you better bring your appetite on Saturday.
One of my patients has a butcher shop.
Sent me this great mortadella-- You can drop the act, Andy.
It's just us.
-Okay.
-Nina told me what you did.
That you kissed her.
Jake, I'm sorry.
What can I say? Well, nothing.
There's really nothing you can say.
But I'm not gonna play this game with you anymore.
I'll do it around Nina, but you and I are no longer friends.
I don't like you.
And I sure as hell don't trust you.
Did you manage to pick up my stamps? Dr.
Seuss commemoratives? I requested the snowy egret.
-Sorry, got distracted.
-What are you doing here? Your last appointment was 5:00.
Going over journals.
My surgical certification's coming up.
Staying late to study surgical procedures you could do in your sleep or, uh, something happened between you and Nina that you don't wanna talk about.
No, it's not Nina.
Actually, I've been thinking about Ethan Harcourt.
-Ah.
Boner boy.
-Yeah.
I don't know why I became such a stickler for the rules.
Well, rules exist for a reason, Andy.
You did the right thing.
I remember when I was his age.
Her name was Melissa Hobbs.
I mean, I needed a pill not to have sex with her every second.
-One night, I couldn't believe how-- -Oh, sex, sex, sex.
I'm just sick to death of the subject.
Why did we evolve higher lobes? To pursue art, philosophy, science.
Instead, all anybody seems to care about is keeping that part of our brainstem happy.
We'd be better off as chimpanzees.
Something happen that you don't wanna talk about, Harold? Your clinically depressed teenager has more passion than I do these days.
That's natural.
With everything you've been through sex isn't the first thing that comes to mind.
Well, one would think so, wouldn't one? -Not my Rose.
-lnteresting.
So you want me to write you the prescription? Honestly, I wish it were that simple.
All right.
Is it a conscious decision on your part, or you actually having some trouble? Oh, I don't know.
Conscious, I suppose.
In many ways, I've been trying to detach so that it might be less painful if.
Oh, it's crazy, I know.
No, it's not so crazy.
You're trying to protect yourself.
I think that's natural.
-Maybe.
Doesn't make it any less stupid.
-Well, that's true too.
Why don't you just talk to her, Harold? Might help if she knew how you feel.
Tell her how I'm afraid that she might die? No, the immune system thrives on hope, Andy.
The past four months, she has received a steady stream of bad news and worst-case scenarios.
That's been more corrosive to her spirit than the chemo.
So why would I want to add to that my own fears and anxieties? Because anything you're thinking about, she is too.
Don't worry about the conversations you have, Harold.
Worry about the ones you could be having with yourself the rest of your life.
Those are the ones that kill you.
Oh, that place was so much better than I thought it would be.
I say we go back there tomorrow night, we get the other half of the dessert tray.
Or we could go to that party tomorrow.
I thought we talked about this.
Actually, we didn't.
You just made a weird decision about it.
But I think it sounds like fun.
It's not, trust me.
It's a bunch of drunk idiots slamming some lame-ass '90s cover band.
You would be bored out of your skull.
You don't have to do that.
-What? -Lie to me.
I know you wanna go, you just don't wanna go with me.
What? Who else would I wanna go with? Anyone.
Look, it's obvious.
You're embarrassed because I'm in high school, I wear bad glasses and I dress like Laura from Little House on the Prairie.
Hannah, seriously, no, no, no.
It's not you, it's me.
We're already at "It's not you, it's me"? We are so dead.
Sit down.
Seriously, it is me.
I don't wanna go because when I go to parties I act like a moron because I'm drinking, and I don't want you to see me like that.
-Really? -Yeah.
This relationship stuff is like the hardest video game.
Soon as I level up, there's a new robo-assassin to take me out because I don't know the secret code.
What's a robo-assassin? I mean, wait, am I the robo? No.
Remember what you said last week? Now that I have a girlfriend, I have to think before I speak so I don't say something stupid.
When I don't say what I'm thinking I'm thinking you're thinking I'm thinking something that I'm not.
-ls it? -I'm still confused.
Well, I wanna follow the rules here, but they kind of keep changing.
Whole thing's making my brain hurt.
Bright, there's only one code, and it's not secret.
You just need to be who you are, not who you think I want you to be.
You wanna go to the party? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm generally a fan of parties.
Good, that's what I figured.
Um, do you have to drink at the party? I could say no, but I probably will.
-Do I have to drink? -No, no, of course not.
Then we should go.
I'll be the designated driver.
And if I feel uncomfortable, I will tell you and we'll leave.
I think you might be the coolest girl in the world.
I know, you're very lucky.
ELLlE: Check it out.
MAURA: Oh, that's the RA in Rossmore, right? Second floor? Hey.
Maura, right? -I'm Amy.
-Oh, Amy, hi, I'm glad you made it.
Uh, this is my friend Ellie.
Have you seen this guy? He's insanely hot.
-He's gonna be at Fig tonight.
-Fig? Yeah, it's this underground party, happens every Friday night.
Moves around so Campus Security won't bust it.
Camden Hall, fifth floor.
Starts at midnight.
-Whoa, it starts at midnight? ELLlE: Wait, I don't know if you can get in.
Freshmen don't usually go to Fig unless they have lD.
-Do you have lD? -Um.
No, I don't, but I probably couldn't have gone anyhow, so.
-You brought your gear.
-Yeah, was I not supposed to? Uh, well, tonight was just sort of a meet and greet.
Didn't you get the e-mail? I put it on the network.
I'm not on the campus system.
I live at home for now.
At home? Oh, my God, that's so harsh.
It's actually not that bad.
I mean, once you get past the harshness.
Hey, so does anybody know the name of the RA on Rossmore, second floor? -Oh, God.
-Let me see, let me see.
That's a hottie right there.
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
-You busy? -Oh, no, I was just doing some research.
I'm making the pasta from scratch tonight.
Do you prefer linguini or cappellini? Uh, about dinner, I don't think we're gonna be able to make it after all.
Oh.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah, Jake woke up yesterday morning with a really high fever, and it's not pretty.
So you know, maybe another time.
Listen, Nina-- SUSAN: Are you Dr.
Brown? ANDY: Yes.
What on God's green Earth is the matter with you? You write a prescription for a 17-year-old boy without a phone call to his parents? -I'm sorry? -Ethan.
ANDY: Oh, Ethan.
-So it's true? -No.
Yes, he did come and ask me to prescribe him something.
-I didn't do it.
-Oh, really? Then why is he in the Cardiac Unit right now? -Oh, my God.
-He woke up this morning with chest pains.
My husband took him to County, and now they're keeping him for observation.
-How do you explain that? -I can't.
But I did not write that prescription, and I'm certain my partner didn't either.
-Perhaps he went to another doctor.
-You can't be serious.
-I didn't say it was Jake.
-There's three doctors in town.
Well, someone gave it to him, and it wasn't me or Harold.
Nina.
GlRL: Here they are.
I know he does.
Where do you think the keg's at? -Dude, you hate beer.
-Yeah, when in Rome, right? -Want one? -No, I'm good.
You sure? I can drive, remember.
-Yeah, yeah, maybe later.
-I like these lights.
Yeah, it's a bacchanal.
It's in honor of the Greek god B.
A.
Baracus.
He was the god of beer and kicking it and stuff and so it's kind of his party.
[SlNGlNG.]
You're the only one waiting for a sign Yeah.
[SlNGlNG.]
The only one So this is it? We're partying? Yeah.
Just kind of hang out, you know, talk to people and stuff.
BORONl: Yo, Abbott, what up, dawg? Hey, Boroni, what's up, man? Uh, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Hannah.
BORONl: What's up? -Hi.
You gotta check out my room.
I've got a flat-screen and the new "Grand Theft Auto.
" We're gonna play for shots.
We're just gonna sit out here with the band and stuff, but it's cool.
-You go.
-Really? I'm gonna find the bathroom anyway.
I'll just meet you back down here.
WOMAN [ON TV.]
: How long have they been in there? Hey, what are you doing home? What does it look like? It's just it's Saturday night.
I assumed there would be some college mixers to attend.
Oh, there are.
One of them requires a fake lD, and the other one, Bright's at and he took my best friend and my ex-boyfriend, but thank you for asking.
And when you say "mixers," Dad, you sound like 90.
Well, I'm happy to see you.
Perhaps we can watch a movie tonight, like the old days.
Sound of Music? Always a tonic for the spirit.
I can't handle the Von Trapp family tonight.
-Why don't you go torture Mom? -Your mother's out tonight.
-Although where she is, I have no idea.
-Oh, that's just great.
My mother, who has a lower T-cell count than I do, has a better social life than I do.
That's just awesome.
Well, who needs a frat party when we can have a pity party of our own right here? Wanna quit sulking and tell me what's bothering you? -You really wanna know? -Yeah.
Really? Okay, I'll tell you.
My life sucks.
Hannah's in the lovey-dovey stage.
She doesn't have time for me which I could deal with except that I can't make friends because I don't live on campus.
Not to mention that classes are massive and harder than I thought my fallback would be which means I've been kidding myself about transferring to Princeton.
It's Saturday night, and I'm watching television by myself because no one wants to hang out with me.
-Except you, who's legally obligated to.
-Amy-- If you tell me that I'm at the prime of my life again I will hurl the remote control at you.
-Where you going? -Out.
-What do we play? CROWD: Thumper! And why do we play it? CROWD: To get messed up! [CROWD GROANlNG.]
You have to drink now.
CROWD: Chug, chug, chug! You must be crazy wasted by now.
Actually, I'm drinking soda.
You too? I wasn't feeling the Fear and Loathing thing either.
Yo, Ephram, what's up? You having fun? -We're playing Thumper, want in? -You're where all the beers went.
-Yeah.
-Thank you, see you next time.
BORONl: Man, this sucks.
We got four more kegs coming and the band's done.
Don't worry, dude, I'll take care of this.
-Where you going? -I'll be right back.
All right, now, this party is not over.
Hey, man, give me a beat.
Yo, A&M, how you doing? [DRUMS PLAYlNG.]
Oh, that was lame.
Are y'all having a good time tonight? CROWD: Yeah! -One more time.
-Y'all having a good time tonight? CROWD: Yeah! Yeah.
Now when I say, "Hey," you say, "Ho.
" -Hey.
CROWD: Ho.
BRlGHT: Hey.
CROWD: Ho.
When I say, "Pound a," you say, "Beer.
" -Pound a.
CROWD: Beer.
BRlGHT: Pound a.
CROWD: Beer.
Yeah.
It goes-- It goes: [RAPPlNG.]
A&M.
Are you okay? I'm fine, I'm just tired.
I, uh, didn't know parties lasted so long.
-That's not a good sign.
-What's he doing? Oh, he's fine.
He hasn't even taken off his clothes yet.
But he's only had like two beers.
I don't even think he's drunk.
[RAPPlNG.]
Bounce it, bounce it, bounce it [CROWD CHEERlNG.]
You know, there's a, uh, midnight show of Batman at the Melody.
If we leave right now, we can make it in time.
No, I can't leave him.
-Sure? I don't wanna leave you like this.
-I'm fine, really.
Um, hey.
Is he always so? Much? Yeah, yeah, I think he is.
Good to know.
If you told him it was freaking you out, he could tone it down.
No, I don't wanna ruin his fun.
I was just curious.
-Sure you're all right? -Yeah, I'm great.
Enjoy your movie, Ephram.
BRlGHT: When I say, "Hey," all y'all say, "Ho.
" -Hey.
CROWD: Ho.
BRlGHT: Hey.
CROWD: Ho.
Now only the ladies.
Now scream.
[WOMEN SHOUTlNG.]
BRlGHT: Now the dudes do this like me: [BRlGHT GRUNTlNG.]
[MEN GRUNTlNG.]
WOMAN [ON TV.]
: --al Qaeda declared all-out war on the Shiite minority.
I've been calling all over town.
Where were you? The last place you'd ever look.
Your mother's.
I went to see her honeymoon photos.
Here.
She called it Greek moonshine.
Ouzo.
Lovely.
Perhaps I can use this in the snowblower this winter.
Look, Rose, I was talking with Andy earlier.
I think we need to have a discussion.
That sounds like it requires ice cream.
-Rose? -I bought some of that hard-shell stuff.
Why don't you grab it from the cupboard? Your spirits are rather high.
I thought we were fighting.
We were.
-I don't remember apologizing.
-You didn't.
And I don't want you to.
For the last four months, Harold you've treated me like I was one of your patients.
Yesterday you finally treated me like I was your wife again.
It's the first time since all this horribleness began that I felt like us again.
-I've missed us.
-Oh, I have too.
I need you, sweetheart.
I need to feel you beside me again.
It doesn't have to be in the bedroom.
A fight's good enough for me.
Just a little passion, anything to bridge this gap.
Because I can manage all of the chemo, but the distance between us is killing me.
Oh, my sweet Rose.
But you wanted to talk to me about something, and I interrupted, sorry.
It's nothing.
Ha, ha.
Nothing at all.
I am going to have extra topping.
And if you'd like, we could argue about what to watch on TV.
EPHRAM: I promise I'm not stalking you.
I'm here to see the Caped Crusader.
You're probably here with somebody.
I can go if it's weird-- No, no, no, I'm.
I'm not with anybody, unless you want to count my Milk Duds.
You, uh, wanna be alone right now? No, that's okay, you can sit there.
But I should warn you, I'm probably not really good company right now.
Did something happen? No, not really.
Going through the change? That would be nice.
That would mean I was what, like in my late 50s? Married, kids, job.
Totally comfortable because there's nothing major left to stress about.
Well, somehow I don't think that that's true.
Yeah, probably not.
But it would just be nice not to have to worry about writing a thesis paper or getting invited to the right parties, you know? Sometimes I just wish I was a little bit more finished with some of the big stuff.
Well, you finished high school.
That was a big one.
At least, it was for me.
You hated high school.
Not all of it.
MAN [ON SPEAKER.]
: Welcome to the Melody Theater.
As a courtesy to others, please refrain from talking during the movie.
See? Sex really does kill.
I'm sorry for lying to my mom about you.
I didn't know what to tell her.
How did you get the pills? That's what I still don't understand.
You know all those spam e-mails you get about porn and Viagra? -Well, I finally opened one up.
-Yeah? What happened? I learned that college girls really do go wild.
And then I purchased some little blue pills.
Very convenient except for the winding-up-in-the-hospital thing.
-That part sucked.
-Well, I doubt you got the real thing.
It was probably some kind of speed or veterinary medicine.
That's why your chest hurt when you took it.
Yeah, that's what the doctors here said.
I feel like suing the website, except then I'd have to admit I'm a moron.
You're not a moron, Ethan.
You were trying to have control of your life.
It's pretty human, actually.
But I messed everything up.
There's no way I can keep all of this from Karen now.
Why would you have to? What part of this looks cool to you? The antidepressants or the horse pills I took thinking it was Viagra? You practically risked your life for this girl.
What's cooler than that? Football? It's not that I really care about being cool.
I've never been cool.
I just don't wanna lose the one good thing that's ever happened to me.
You know, I've had a crush on Karen since fifth grade.
But I never told her.
I never had the guts to.
And then when Mike died, everything changed.
Nothing seemed as awful as that moment.
So a rejection from a girl wasn't a big deal.
Except she didn't reject me.
What makes you think she will now? I don't know.
I just know I'm scared.
I'm gonna give you two pieces of expert advice.
The first one is very simple.
Never lie to the people you love.
Tell Karen the truth.
Ask her to be patient.
What if she says no? What if she can't? Then she doesn't deserve you.
-And what's the second piece of advice? -Never buy medicine off a porn site.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey.
Hey.
-Hey.
-How's it going? Well, if these are the best years of my life, I might kill myself.
Uh-oh.
That doesn't sound good.
-Wanna sit down? -Yeah.
It's just that, you know, everything that used to come natural to me is requiring quite a bit of effort now.
The only thing that seems kind of normal is hanging out at the movies with my ex-boyfriend.
-Oh, you and Ephram are hanging out again.
-Yeah, we bumped into each other.
At first it was weird, and then I realized the only reason it was weird was because it felt so comfortable.
And now you wanna get back together with him? Maybe.
I don't know.
It's just so easy to be with him.
And truthfully, I could use a little easy in my life right now.
You know, it's not supposed to be easy.
You've only been here a week.
I'm generally a quick learner.
My dad's a carpenter.
He hangs doors for a living.
Now, I'm the first person in my family to go to college.
I busted my ass, got a full ride but I had to work in the dorm cafeteria to pay for food.
Every morning, I would go down, put on a hairnet and serve all those kids who I sat next to in class.
Sometimes you just gotta pretend like everything's going great even when it's not.
Like, if you put it out there that you're kicking ass eventually, people are gonna start to believe it.
And that helps you believe it too.
LEXlE: Hey, babe.
RElD: Hey.
-Uh, Lexie, this is Amy.
-Hi.
Hi.
RElD: We'd better get going or we are gonna miss the movie.
Anyways, you, um-- -You feel better, okay? AMY: Uh-huh.
-Ready? -Yeah.
You are a dead man, Bright Abbott.
[DOORBELL RlNGS.]
I'll get it, babe.
Andy, hey.
-ls everything okay? -Actually, no.
Can we talk? -Um.
-Porch would be fine.
When you said you wanted to be friends, did you mean it? -Of course I did.
-Because we're not acting like friends.
And I don't know why.
I mean, I think that I'm trying here, but maybe I'm not trying hard enough.
What do you think? I don't know, I mean, it's a hard situation, Andy.
I like the idea of us all getting together, but maybe it's too soon.
I've spent the last three weeks trying to keep Jake from punching your lights out.
I don't need you to protect me.
If Tiny Tim wants a shot, send him over.
-Are all men 12 years old? -On the inside, yes.
I don't think a fistfight's the answer either, but at least it would be real.
I mean, what we're doing now, I can't do it anymore.
-I'm getting TMJ from all the phony smiles.
-I know.
Listen, if we wanna get past this, if we really wanna be friends again we're gonna have to be straight with each other.
We're gonna have to have awkward meals until they're not awkward anymore.
You're right, but I don't know what to do.
-I mean, Jake is just, he's so-- -Oh, he's angry, I understand.
And if he can't forgive me, I can live with that.
But it's not his friendship I'm trying to win back here, Nina.
It's yours.
It's ours.
I miss you.
So if you and Sam would like to come over and share a meal with Delia and l whenever you're ready just let me know.
Don't bother, we don't have anything but ketchup and soy sauce.
Man, I gotta go to my folks' house.
It's like a free-food warehouse over there.
-Hey, where did you go last night? -l, uh, went and saw a movie.
-Saw your sister there.
-So typical.
I take you to the hottest party in Colorado and you bail to leave with your ex.
Guess the new-you thing's not working out, huh? Ah, it's a work in progress.
I mean, there's no need to shock the system.
-You were, uh, something else last night.
-Yeah.
Now, thank you.
I didn't mean it as a compliment.
You were an ass.
-Anybody home? -Hey.
I brought medical supplies.
Burgers and ibuprofen.
Oh.
So hey, settle something for us.
Captain Scrawny here thinks that I was an ass last night.
True or false? Be honest.
Um, false, definitely false.
-You were, funny, funny.
-I was funny.
Well, the defense rests.
Sorry, player hater.
Did you have a good time? I was worried you thought it was lame.
No, no, it was, um-- It was just, you know, different.
Yeah, uh, was it good different? -Yeah, fun different.
It was fun.
-Nice.
Okay, I'm gonna head back to my crawl space.
You kids try to keep it down.
We're gonna be the party couple of the century, me and you.
There's a luau this Friday.
You know what I'm thinking? -Coconut bikini.
-What? Kidding.
But you could wear a grass skirt or something.
That would be pretty cool, right? We'll think of something.
This needs more ketchup.
Luckily, it's one of the two things I have in my refrigerator.
Except some funky Thai food.
But I'll cross that later.
[RAPPlNG.]
Bounce it, bounce it, bounce it [STAMMERlNG.]
Bounce it Bounce it, bounce it [BRlGHT STAMMERlNG.]
Bounce it, bounce it Bounce it Bounce it, bounce it, yeah [ENGLlSH - US - SDH.]