Girlfriends Guide To Divorce (2014) s04e03 Episode Script
Rule #706: Let Them Eat Cupcakes
1 Previously on "Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce" I'm sorry to say you live in a fantasy world where you think you can step into my gallery and everyone will just fall at your feet.
Well, this is real life.
I want you to go.
Leave.
Leave! - Phoebe, what's happening? - Phoebs, you okay? [TEARFULLY.]
It's over.
You surround yourself with bullshit to make you feel loved.
I quit, Gemma.
When's Albert coming back? He said it depended on traffic on the 210.
A boxing retreat for the class Tao of Rex.
You're Albert? Let's just give it a shot.
I'm separated now, and you're divorced.
There'd be no cheating, no lying.
I am done with all that.
We are so excited to welcome you to the launch of BOTH: Lady Parts! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
We don't have advertisers.
So let's get to the point where we can afford to be picky.
I'm just trying to protect the brand.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
So Lady Parts.
Hot name.
Rock on.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, thank you so much for seeing us, Cameron.
We're really big fans of your products.
They're fantastic.
Your coconut water is the only healthy liquid I don't have to trick my son into drinking.
That is so true.
Sweet! [LAUGHS.]
You know, we're pretty psyched about our new VinoLyte product.
Drink made by bros like myself for people with - BOTH: Lady Parts.
- [ALL LAUGH.]
Well, you know, it's a genius idea.
I mean, a wine infused with electrolytes.
You know why we did it? Because it's delicious and hydrating? Yes, but no.
Because women are drinking wine like hotcakes.
Yes, we are.
As a matter of fact, I am gonna enjoy a glass of VinoLyte tonight.
Or three.
Abby's a drinker.
[LAUGHS.]
Glug, glug, glug, glug.
I love you girls.
You're like my mom except way more awesome.
Oh.
Well, thank you? Um, our website's pretty awesome too.
And we have a lot of interested advertisers, but we feel like your line is a great fit.
Oh, that's great.
Oh, and just know that I'm really into helping women like you reach your full potential.
[PHONE BUZZING.]
Totally a feminist like that.
Oh, big gun's on the phone.
BRB? Yes? [WHISPERING.]
I can't look at you.
If I look at you, I'm gonna start laughing.
The man called us "girls," Abby.
And then compared us to his mom.
Yes, I know, and when he did that, I kind of blacked out for a second.
I don't think I can do this.
Yes, you can.
You absolutely can.
All right, you're right.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
All right! Tell me about this great fit, girls.
I'm all ears.
I feel so strong, you know? I mean, have the last few days been brutal? Yes, coming to terms with JD's decision has not been easy.
But it's what the universe wants for me, so I accept You know, you seem remarkably healthy.
- Thank you.
- Impressive bounce-back.
I'd still be in the lying-in-a-cold-tub, listening-to-Joni-Mitchell, opening-up-my-wrists phase.
Yeah, well, it's my third divorce.
I'm a pro.
We are just so happy to have our girl back.
I know.
I miss you guys.
I hated sharing you with that Gemma.
Did she remind anyone else of Dracula? - Yeah.
- Gemma was not healthy.
I'm just so excited to start fresh and focus on spending time with the kids, get my life back on track.
By the way, thank you so much for moving so fast on the divorce paperwork.
Oh, that was my pleasure.
That was an easy one.
Say, we're still on for tomorrow? I'm gonna come over.
We're gonna go over everything.
Definitely.
Wrap it up.
Kill it.
THIS ONE: greatest friend ever.
I know.
Who needs all that Legal Aid joint when you have us for pro bono? Mm-hmm.
So what's new with you, Jo? Oh, me? No, nada, nothing.
- No? - No, no, no, no, no.
- Just same old same old.
- Really? There's got to be something.
Please? I feel so bad.
I've been out of the loop.
[SIGHS.]
Did you tell her about Paul? Did you tell her about the smoochies? Oh.
Wait, wait, Legal Aid Paul? We are just working really hard to get this class action off the ground.
We're just colleagues.
With benefits.
I don't know.
- It's new.
We'll see.
- How fun! I was asking about you, though, Jo.
How was the retreat with Bald Eagle? Oh, the hot boxer.
What's the latest? Yeah, what's the latest? There's no latest.
It's just - No? - Yeah, honestly.
There's just meditation.
Blah, blah, blah.
It's kind of boring.
But did you go all the way with him yet? No, not yet, but more about you.
Two days in the woods, nothing happened? - No.
- No? - Too complicated.
- Complicated how? I have to go.
Damien Fields Gallery.
Okay, great.
You got your job back.
Well, no, I just took a breather.
I mean, it's consulting.
It's super casual.
Bye.
Love you guys.
Bye.
Bye! [SIGHS.]
Bald Eagle is Albert.
It's Albert, yeah.
I slept with your Albert.
There.
There it is.
Thank you for telling me what I already knew.
I had a feeling you knew.
Jesus, it was like the judgment of Nuremburg at this table.
How did you find out? His assistant told me he was going to the Tao of Rex retreat.
I put it together.
You held it in for four days? You should talk.
How long have you known? Only until the retreat.
Don't you remember? We couldn't use our names.
All I saw was, with all the equipment, this short dude I just wanted to beat up all the time.
I had no idea.
I'm so, so sorry.
Beyond.
- God, this is so bizarre.
- It is so messed up.
Absurd.
Bald Eagle? You were right about the sex, by the way.
- He's an animal.
- Yeah, I know.
- I'm sorry.
Too soon.
- No, it's fine.
- Are you gonna keep seeing him? - I don't know.
- But you like him.
- I'm not sure.
Well, uh Yeah, there's something there.
I mean, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't.
But I don't know.
I will walk away.
I never wanted any drama, and there's a lot of it for a million different reasons, you at the top of the heap.
Oh, no.
Me and Albert? Oh, come on.
That is beyond over.
That is the past.
No, that is not what I am worried about.
What are you worried about? You.
I don't want to see you get hurt.
You're afraid he's gonna hurt me, right? I mean, he's getting better.
He's trying.
But do people really change that much? He put me through so much.
He tore up my life.
I don't want to see you get messed with.
I care about you.
But it's your decision.
Don't think about us.
Whatever you decide, I'll support you.
Thanks.
It's very, very big of you.
- Where's the waiter? - Yeah.
[LIGHT MUSIC.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Phoebe Conte.
Hello, Damien.
How are you? I'm fine, yeah.
It's been a while.
I know.
We have a lot to catch up on.
But first your collection is breathtaking.
I have some big fish I need to get in here stat.
Mmm, like Gemma Sacco.
No, actually, we parted ways.
I see.
Anyways, this piece is stunning.
Whose is it? Phoebe, honey, cut the shit.
You disappeared for months without so much as a phone call.
I know.
I just thought our consultant arrangement was a bit more informal, but I'm sorry.
I should have called.
Gemma's consuming, and JD and I split, so I really haven't been myself lately.
I'm sorry to hear that, Phoebe.
Thank you.
Anyways, I'm here, and I'm ready to work.
Yeah, that won't be necessary.
I I hired another consultant, Coco.
Terrific.
He actually moved a Kusama on his first day.
Half a million.
Whew.
Wow.
Why don't you just give me a chance? I'm not in the business of giving chances.
I'm in business.
Sorry.
I loved their presentation.
I'm just not sure if they have the heft.
I hear that, but their company's blowing up, and they're a great fit.
And their social media is all about that mother-daughter angle.
I come bearing decaf lattes.
God bless you, child.
You are a lifesaver.
Give it to me.
Any progress? Who are we going with? Well, Barbara is really pushing for Snack Chix, that you know, the mother-daughter-run thing.
Okay, again with the face.
What? No, what face? I'm not making a face.
A little bit of a face.
I just you know, I think they're very smart, and they make these delicious gluten-free little bites of heaven, but Abby's concerned about their financials, which is legit.
So maybe we bring on Snack Chix and other advertisers, help fill in the bottom line.
Or we just commit to one big advertiser with deep pockets who is established, who is a sure thing, like DON'T SAY BOTH: Cameron.
He's the douchey one, right? Uber douchey, like Jeremy Piven and Justin Bieber had a baby and it ate Charlie Sheen.
[LAUGHS.]
Plus, he requested a non-compete.
Oh, and I assume that means That means that we can only advertise his products on our site and no other advertisers.
But, you know, he's a big company, and his annual revenue is just going up.
They're marketing to female alcoholics.
That's practically what he said.
But all the, you know, Snack Chix and all the other advertisers that we met today added up still do not equal one Cameron.
[PHONE CHIMING.]
Ugh! Fine.
But you have to be his point day-to-day.
- Deal? - Deal.
Yay! Oh, my God, I love when we are on the same page.
Makes me so happy.
Let's see how happy she is when he's bro'ing all over her.
[PHONE CHIMING.]
Why does my mom keep texting me? "Call me back.
Your dad had a steak.
" What? [LAUGHS.]
"Stroke, not steak.
" My dad had a stroke.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Oh.
Hey, Daddy.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry I couldn't get here last night.
Jake took the kids.
I had to get them to Vancouver.
And how are you? Oh.
Ooh, Abby, dear, you're a little stinky.
Oh, well, I was rushing.
- Oh.
- You look very pale.
When was the last time you ate? Oh, don't worry about me.
I'm I'm fine.
Wow.
You've been very busy.
Lots of photographs.
Well I wanted to make it nice for him.
How long is he gonna be like this? What did the doctor say? She wasn't, uh she wasn't very specific.
I don't know, something about, I don't know, brain swelling.
Abby, please.
Please, honey.
Would you get me some tea? The air is so dry here.
I feel like I'm getting a sore throat.
Sure.
Now, can you please finish your thought about the brain swelling? Don't snap at me! I'm not snapping at you.
My husband's just had a stroke.
I know, and I'm just trying to understand what's happening here.
[SIGHS.]
She seemed she seemed very positive.
- Dr.
Boyd.
- Okay.
Yes, you'll love her.
She went to some Ivy League school.
I can't remember which one.
Uh, Yale.
Maybe Brown.
Okay, it doesn't matter.
I'm sure it was great.
I left a message for my GP at Cedar's.
We need to get a referral for a second opinion.
Is that really necessary? Dr.
Boyd is more than capable.
I'm sure Dr.
Boyd is great, and I'm also sure that she would understand.
I don't see why you feel the need to bother your doctor.
I'm not bothering my doctor.
I have everything under control here.
I know you do.
It's just, getting a second opinion is standard.
Were you able to reach Max? It's a shitty time to be in Europe.
Yes, yes, of course I did.
I called him this morning.
Okay, well, good.
Well, I'm glad he's on his way.
Daddy, I love you so much.
I love you, sweetheart.
You're gonna be okay.
Lord, have mercy on me I'm in a way You okay? Oh, I'm texting Abby.
Poor thing, her dad's in the hospital.
Yeah, I heard.
Lilly had to take her brother up to Vancouver.
I feel so bad for them.
It's a good thing we work at a bakery.
We can eat our worries.
[LAUGHS.]
Can I ask you a hypothetical? Yeah.
Let's say you took a bite of this apple tart and you got sick.
Would that mean if I took a bite of the same tart, I would yak too? Well, I wouldn't risk it.
You could just go get yourself a fresh, uneaten tart.
Ah, too exhausting.
A lot of rotten tarts out there.
I got sick a couple of times, and I don't want that anymore.
But this particular tart, mm? I've taken a few nibbles, and it tasted pretty good.
And I just got a feeling that if I I kept eating this stupid thing, that just maybe, finally You might get full.
Yeah, I guess.
I just wish to hell that my friend hadn't taken a bite of the damn thing first.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well [STAMMERS.]
Enough.
Enough with these tortuous metaphors.
Back to work, E.
[PHONE RINGING.]
So have you spoken to Abby? Yeah, I just got off the phone with her.
She seems pretty stressed.
Yeah, I bet.
- Yeah.
- Hospitals gives me hives.
- Oh, heebie-jeebies.
- I know.
So do divorce settlements.
Well, the agreement looks pretty straightforward.
Well, that's music to my ears.
You and JD both get to keep everything you entered the marriage with.
The house, being your largest asset, remains yours.
- That's great.
- But you do know that as long as most of your money is tied up in this place, you are not liquid.
Totally fine.
Résumés are out.
Gallery's gonna bite.
It's all good.
- Okay.
- Great.
All right.
So something did come up just this morning.
Ex hubby number two's lawyer called.
What does Ralf want? He wants to renegotiate custody.
I don't understand.
He wants primary custody.
Phoebe, he thinks that the home environment is unstable.
Unstable? Yeah.
Based on what? According to his lawyer, your impulsive marriage to JD and divorce and all the travel with Gemma, he thinks it's taking a toll on the kids.
That's ridiculous.
He can't do this.
Calm down.
He can't change anything unless you agree.
- I don't agree.
- Okay.
I don't agree, and you can tell that shithead I said so.
Look, I'm your friend, and I love you.
But as your lawyer, I really think that you could at least consider Ralf's proposal.
It's only temporary.
I don't care how temporary it is.
It'll give you a chance to sort things out.
We can renegotiate alimony.
Delia, I appreciate your legal advice.
I really do.
But I am not giving up my kids.
Okay.
Okay, I'll handle it.
Thank you.
Can't see no other way To get my freedom Show me the flames Hang in there, Abbs.
And get some sleep; you sound exhausted.
Oh, you should see my mom.
She is running herself ragged.
She's obsessed with these scented candles.
My father's hospital room smells like Pier One on steroids.
Abby? Come taste this.
Coming! And she has been cooking nonstop since I got here, Lord help me.
She wants to fatten you up, so put on some stretch pants and do it for Mama McCarthy.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay.
I love you.
- I love you more.
- Bye.
Mom, let me do that.
You cooked.
Oh, honey, no.
I've got it.
I want you to taste this lasagna.
I'm not hungry.
Oh, come on.
Come on, skinny Minnie.
Open up.
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Delicious.
Yes.
The last time I made this for your dad, he got so excited.
He just took me in his arms, and he just Oy, Ma.
Stop.
I get it.
You and Dad like the sex.
Thank you for that image.
Oh, I talked to the neurologist that my doctor recommended.
He looked at Daddy's charts.
And? Did she tell you I was right, that your father's doctor is more than capable? Yes, he told me that he agreed with her course of treatment.
Exactly.
Next time, you should trust your smart mama.
What else could you possibly be making? Those nurses will be much better to your father if I butter them up a little, so I'm making my cream cheese cupcakes.
But how many of them do you need? Well, I want everyone to have one and maybe more.
Come on.
Come on.
Give me a hand.
By the way, do you know what time Max's flight is coming in? Flight? What flight? You said he was on his way.
No, I told him not to come.
He's halfway around the world.
He's working.
He's at a conference, and Berlin is hardly There's no reason for him to come until we know how serious the situation is.
Mom, I really think Max should be here.
You know how fragile Max is when it comes to your father.
Yes, but Abby, please! I don't want to argue! [SIGHS.]
I just need your support.
Of course.
You have my support.
Good, because I need you.
I mean, after all, who is gonna do the taste-testing here? I'm watching my waistline, and you are much too skinny if you ask me.
Come on.
So the areas outlined in red show where the first stroke took place.
As you can see, it's rather large, but it's contained; the bleeding's stopped.
Now, the second stroke, outlined in blue, is smaller - May I see? - That's a good thing, right? - That it's smaller? - Yes, yes.
But his condition is serious.
Oh.
Oh, sorry.
The swelling hasn't gone down as much as I'd like.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
Mom.
Ma, stop playing with that thing.
It's just, until the swelling goes down, it's hard to know exactly what the damage is.
But there's going to be damage for sure? A stroke like this? Almost certainly.
Is he gonna wake up? We hope so.
But if I were you, I'd be prepared for anything.
Ma.
Mom.
Wh what? Do you have any questions? No, no, no, no.
That was thank you.
That was very informative, Dr.
Boyd.
Oh, thank you for looking it over, Guy, and considering me.
Understood, understood.
Totally understand.
Well, thank you so much for taking the time.
Bye.
[PHONE BEEPS.]
I hate you.
Why are you still here? [SIGHS.]
Nouky Pooky, I am so focused.
I am so focused.
No internet, nothing, not until I am done cold-calling every gallery in Los Angeles.
No, I mean why are you still here? You're supposed to pick Luco up from soccer.
No, not until 4:00.
It's a half day, Mom.
Check your texts.
What? Oh, shit.
Oh, God.
Oh, shit.
Shit.
So you can see the key ad is front and center.
And while the ad area isn't huge, we're aiming for seamless integration, intentional positioning for maximum impact.
So thoughts, Cameron? Questions? All good stuff.
I did have some thoughts on content.
But I've been working in digital content for over a decade, so Okay, love all the girl power stuff, for example.
It's fierce.
The Alicia Keys profile? Excelente.
But some of the anti-status quo rhetoric in the articles, it gets old.
Feels a little preachy, you know? We You need to remember we're in the business of getting women to spend money.
Cameron.
You need to remember that the content, the purview, the philosophy of Lady Parts is not up for discussion here.
Yeah, yeah, I respect that.
I respect that, and I see ya.
That's your site, a hun percent.
It's just [SIGHS.]
We need to make sure we're on the same page before we move forward.
Actually, we don't.
Excuse me? You're moving out the door, because the deal's off.
[LAUGHS.]
Come on.
This is the best deal you girls are gonna get.
Right.
You can leave now.
Buh-bye.
Hey, Luco, Mama's really sorry.
It's okay, Mom.
I'll be in my room.
Okay.
I got your favorite cruffin, salted caramel.
No, thanks.
What? Nothing.
Anouk, look.
Hey.
I made a mistake, okay? I didn't know.
I didn't know it was a half day.
Nobody told me.
We shouldn't have to.
What? Tell you.
You should just know.
Buy a calendar.
I'm sure Dad can send you one.
What does that mean? Nothing.
Things are just more normal when we're with Dad.
Yeah, well, Dad has a staff of people to drive you around.
I am sorry.
I shouldn't have said that.
- Anouk - It's fine.
- Can we drop it? - No.
[SIGHS.]
Do you talk to your dad about how you're feeling here? I don't know.
Does it matter? Yes, it does.
It does matter.
Anouk, I am trying, okay? But if you are feeling this way, if you are unhappy here, I need you to talk to me.
Don't complain to your dad.
Talk to me.
I am right here.
No, you're not.
You're never around.
And JD's here, and then he's not.
[SIGHS.]
Anouk, wait.
- I'm going to my room.
- Anouk.
[SIGHS.]
Here, Mom.
Ah, thank you.
You should eat something, bun-bun.
Not hungry.
I just I'm still processing everything the doctor said, you know? Oh.
Don't worry about all that.
Doctors, they say things, you know.
Just It must be really hard for you to hear that, huh? [SIGHS.]
Which is why I called Max and caught him up.
What? He had no idea how serious this was, and he wants to be here.
He is presenting in the morning, and then he's getting on the next flight out.
Oh, I can't believe you did that.
He deserves to know, Mom.
Worrying Max when he is so far away? He didn't need to know this.
Your father is g he could wake up in the morning.
Oh, my God, were you just in the same meeting? Your father is going to be fine.
We don't know that! You are being overly dramatic.
Oh, my God, he had two strokes, Mom.
He has swelling in his brain.
It is very, very serious! We need to be prepared for the worst.
He might never wake up! He might die! Are you hearing me? Are you understanding what I'm saying? [SOBBING.]
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
But everyone at this table has a black belt in PITA management.
Or you should from working with me, so [LAUGHTER.]
Okay, that's it.
Thanks, everyone.
Delia, hey.
Can I have a word? Uh-huh, sure.
Of course.
What's up, Albert? Yeah, I was just, you know, checking in on your caseload, wondering how you're balancing all of your Okay, look, you've been avoiding me lately.
I've been busy.
Ever since I got back from my trip.
Mm-hmm, right, surf camp.
How was that? Delia, this is ridiculous.
You obviously know.
Can we just talk about this, please? What's there to talk about? You had sex with my friend.
You're both consenting adults.
You can have sex with whomever you please.
I had no idea Jo was your friend when she and I first I had no intention of hurting anybody.
- Believe me.
- I'm fine.
I don't care.
I'm fine.
It's fine.
You, you're divorced, and I know how divorced men act, screwing every woman that they can.
I don't want to screw every woman I can.
I only want to screw her.
Okay, that didn't come out right.
Look, I really like Jo.
Right.
Okay, Albert.
No, I do.
I do.
Can I can feel her starting to pull away, and you being okay with this, with us, it would really So what, you want my blessing? - It would help, yes.
- Oh, wow, okay.
What? You are so full of shit, Albert.
[SIGHS.]
You don't like Jo.
You're just screwing her to get under my skin.
That is not true.
This has nothing to do with you and me! Please, it's just another one of your twisted power plays.
- Why would I do that? - Good question! You and I are in a good place.
Were, and now my friend is at risk.
And you don't want to see how I act when you hurt one of my friends.
You're threatening me now.
Yeah, I am.
Respectfully, stay the hell away from her.
Are you sure you're okay to do this? Yes.
I just I just don't want to leave anything unsaid.
Well, you look beautiful.
I know Dad would tell you that if he could.
It's just really hard.
Yeah.
Well, the two of you are in each other's bones, you know? All you really need to do is just go in there and say how you feel, and he'll hear you.
Oh, you say that, but we don't really know what he hears.
You know, I'm so afraid I'm not gonna say the right thing.
Well, it's worth a try.
Would you help me practice? What? You be me, and I'll be Dad.
Oh, Abby, go on.
Go on.
Go on as you saying good-bye to your husband? Yes.
I just I just need some some ideas.
Um I know you can't see me right now, but I'm here.
And whatever happens after this Oh, please.
No.
Try again.
The last 48 years have been the happiest years of my life.
I would never speak to him that way.
Once more.
- George - No.
Mom, do you want to do this or not? Yes, I do.
I just [SIGHS.]
I just need some more time.
Would you please go in before me? Please.
Okay.
Thank you.
[ROCK MUSIC.]
?? You're my frickin' hero.
You are an inspiration to young girls everywhere.
You're like Beyoncé.
Okay, settle down.
I just turned down a lot of money, money that Lady Parts really needed.
Yes, and you will come up with a Plan B.
We had a Plan B, Snack Chix, and they just got snatched up by another site.
Those bitches.
We're so screwed.
Maybe I can call Cameron and apologize? No, screw that D-bag.
You decide who you want to work with right now.
- You're your own boss.
- Yeah.
With Abby, who I really wish I could talk to right now, but she's dealing with so much.
It's time for you to figure it out on your own.
Yeah, and you will.
- [PHONE RINGS.]
- Oh, God, this is Parker.
I got to take this.
Hey.
Talk to him yet? Talk to who? Kidding.
He's texted me.
I haven't responded.
I decided to skip boxing, because I'm not in a very Zen mood.
Mm-hmm.
That is a very good decision.
Well, I haven't made a decision yet.
I know, but it's clear to me which way you're leaning.
You should go with your gut, Jo.
Yeah.
Hey.
[SIGHS.]
Hey.
Hey, you okay? Yeah.
Sorry.
I just had a shitty day.
What happened? I was late picking up Luco from soccer.
- Ooh.
- How late were you? Hour? - Oh, poor thing.
- Yeah, I know.
And now he's barely speaking to me, and Anouk is not talking to me, so I'm just the parent of the year over here.
Hey, Phoebs, it happens to everyone.
Thank you, Babs.
Did I miss something? Are you mad at us? No, I just thought you'd be more supportive.
I mean, everything you've been through with Zooey.
I mean, I knew what Delia's attitude would be.
That's not fair.
What, did you come here to pick a fight with me? No, I'm just waiting for you to tell me that I should take Ralf up on his offer.
What offer? He wants me to renegotiate custody.
- Oh.
- Tell him no.
Exactly.
She can.
She can say no.
Or she can consider a temporary solution where the kids find some stability and she has time, you know, to discover Delia? Hey, talk to me.
I'm right here.
And all due respect, you don't have children, so you really have no position to give me advice on this.
Parenting is hard.
Phoebe, we all know that.
It's a shitshow.
We all screw up royally sometimes.
Yeah, I've just been spinning since this whole divorce, and I really need my kids right now.
Right.
But what do they need? I mean, that's what's most important, right? I really wasn't expecting to be doing this, but Mom kind of threw me under the bus, so [CHUCKLES.]
Well, your skin looks so amazing right now.
I mean, I don't even know how that's possible, but [LAUGHS.]
Sorry the kids aren't here.
They, uh they miss you.
Oh! Screw it.
Daddy, this last year has been so dumb.
I did I tell you that I walked in on Lilly in bed with a boy? [LAUGHS.]
In flagrante discreto? Is that the Latin? I don't know.
I'm so bad at Latin.
Our little Lil.
Things are going so fast with her.
Jake says, "Time is happening.
It's happening to us.
" I prefer the saying, "Middle age isn't for pussies.
" [LAUGHS.]
Barbara and I oh, you don't know Barbara, but we started a business.
You'd like that.
I met someone.
It's complicated.
I already broke up with him.
But, um, I still feel him, you know, if that makes any sense.
It just wasn't the right moment.
So here I am alone, and maybe that's a good thing.
I know we haven't really talked much lately, but you'll always be my daddy.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
And I love you.
Mom.
Ma, you ready to go in? Mom.
M-Mom.
Seriously, people? She made you cupcakes! Abby? Abby.
Are you hearing me? She was overextended.
Yes.
She was being treated for high blood pressure.
Did you know that? She didn't like to bother us with that stuff.
Well, the cardiac arrest was likely exacerbated by that That and the emotional distress.
Her body just couldn't take it.
Unfortunately, it's not uncommon in women her age.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
I'm just gonna give you a minute, okay? Hey, guys? Can I talk to you for a second? We're in the middle of a game.
I know.
It's just gonna take a minute.
Thank you.
So I know things have been a little weird and confusing with all of my traveling and with JD gone.
And I'm really sorry for all of it.
I'm not perfect.
But I am your mom, and I love you two so much.
And I am gonna do whatever it takes to make things right for you here, with me, to make things normal.
I'm not going anywhere.
Okay, Mom.
Cool.
Is that all? I guess.
Good, because I was just in the middle of kicking Luco's ass.
No, you weren't.
You were behind by, like, 20 points.
You're such a liar! [SIGHS.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Jesus! Who the hell did you fight, Mayweather? Worse.
Big Bear.
Big Bear? Are you nuts? The guy's built like a Zamboni.
You didn't wear a helmet? It's your fault.
You didn't answer my texts or calls, and when you didn't show up tonight, - I wasn't thinking straight.
- Get a grip, Rocky.
Come here.
I'm gonna clean you up.
Vodka? Well, it works in a pinch.
Oh, fine.
[INHALES SHARPLY.]
Ow, ow.
Sorry.
Look, I don't know what Delia said to you, but I swear you and I, that's nothing to do with her.
What are you babbling about? Delia's fine.
She's been good.
She's calm.
She's surprisingly cool.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's just a vibe I got.
What did she say? I think she's just afraid I'll hurt you which I won't.
What are you thinking? It's so loaded.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's just it's an epic shitstorm.
If you need more time, I get it.
I'm gonna step back from the dojo for a while and let you have it.
It's been so good for you.
It's been good for you too.
- Hey.
- Abby, hey.
- How's your dad? - Uh Uh, he's the same.
Okay, listen, this is terrible timing, but I told Cameron we decided to go in a different direction.
And, look, I get it.
I get it if you're mad at me.
My mom died.
Yesterday.
Wait, what? Your mom? Abby, what happened? She had a heart attack.
I mean [LAUGHS.]
It's crazy, right? Okay, just give me a few hours.
I will get on a plane, and I'll be there.
You shouldn't be alone.
No, no, thank you.
I'm fine.
I just I would actually rather if you just stayed in L.
A.
It would make me feel better with you in L.
A.
I just I can't deal with the business right now.
You know, I need you to take it.
I trust you.
Barbara? Yeah, I'm here.
I got it, Abby.
Don't worry about anything here.
Okay, thank you.
And I love you.
Like, a lot.
Um Okay, please don't make this weird.
Abbs.
I kind of love you a lot too.
Okay.
[FUNKY MUSIC.]
[SIGHS.]
[PHONE CHIMES.]
Mm-hmm, we got the call last night.
Case is going through.
Christede is going down.
- It's very exciting.
- I am so proud of you, you and your BF saving the world.
Yeah, or a few dozen immigrants with housing problems, but it is enough for a class action, so Oh.
[SIGHS.]
So what about you? What's up? You've been kind of quiet.
Yeah, yeah.
There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about.
I decided to move forward with our little bald friend.
Ah.
Well Give it a go.
Well, decision made.
Any thoughts or feelings? No, I mean, I told you.
It's your life, Jo.
I'm just here to advise.
You didn't have a talk with him? Huh? Or threaten him on my behalf? Is that what he told you? Wow, Albert.
Pretty typical.
Typical how? What do you mean? Oh, you know, Albert, his games.
He's such a manipulator.
He's trying to come between us.
Oh, my gosh, I knew you weren't gonna be cool with this.
The supportive act, it's just an act.
I support you.
I gave you room to make the right decision, and you blew it.
The right decision according to you.
Oh, my God.
I know him better than you think.
God, I should have known.
Frumpkis, Scott Of course you're gonna fall in love with a "Bald Eagle.
" - Wow, the truth comes out.
- Please, Jo.
What, you think that he cares about you? He's using you to screw with me.
Because it's all about you.
[PHONES CHIME.]
That's ridiculous.
I just got a text from Barbara.
Yeah, so did I.
Her mom? - I know.
- That's so - Insane.
- Poor Abby.
What can we do? What I want is to go up north to be there for her, but she needs me here keeping this business going, which, after the shitshow I made of that Cameron deal, not a sure thing.
I so wish we weren't beholden to the douche nozzles of this world and their money.
Me too.
Maybe we don't have to be.
Have to be what? There's more than one way to skin this cat.
Capitalize on what we have.
What if we shift things up completely? [SIGHS.]
[SOFT MUSIC.]
- Hi.
- Hey.
Oh, my God.
How did you guys Barbara texted us.
Oh, Abby, honey.
This is I got it at the airport.
This is so weird.
Sorry.
Come here.
What do you need? What can we do? Um, what do I need? Um Ms.
McCarthy? It's your dad.
Um I'm sorry.
Where is my mind? Where is my You're awake.
Oh, bun-bun.
How do you feel? Behind the rocks Except the little fish Where's Mom?
Well, this is real life.
I want you to go.
Leave.
Leave! - Phoebe, what's happening? - Phoebs, you okay? [TEARFULLY.]
It's over.
You surround yourself with bullshit to make you feel loved.
I quit, Gemma.
When's Albert coming back? He said it depended on traffic on the 210.
A boxing retreat for the class Tao of Rex.
You're Albert? Let's just give it a shot.
I'm separated now, and you're divorced.
There'd be no cheating, no lying.
I am done with all that.
We are so excited to welcome you to the launch of BOTH: Lady Parts! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
We don't have advertisers.
So let's get to the point where we can afford to be picky.
I'm just trying to protect the brand.
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
So Lady Parts.
Hot name.
Rock on.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, thank you so much for seeing us, Cameron.
We're really big fans of your products.
They're fantastic.
Your coconut water is the only healthy liquid I don't have to trick my son into drinking.
That is so true.
Sweet! [LAUGHS.]
You know, we're pretty psyched about our new VinoLyte product.
Drink made by bros like myself for people with - BOTH: Lady Parts.
- [ALL LAUGH.]
Well, you know, it's a genius idea.
I mean, a wine infused with electrolytes.
You know why we did it? Because it's delicious and hydrating? Yes, but no.
Because women are drinking wine like hotcakes.
Yes, we are.
As a matter of fact, I am gonna enjoy a glass of VinoLyte tonight.
Or three.
Abby's a drinker.
[LAUGHS.]
Glug, glug, glug, glug.
I love you girls.
You're like my mom except way more awesome.
Oh.
Well, thank you? Um, our website's pretty awesome too.
And we have a lot of interested advertisers, but we feel like your line is a great fit.
Oh, that's great.
Oh, and just know that I'm really into helping women like you reach your full potential.
[PHONE BUZZING.]
Totally a feminist like that.
Oh, big gun's on the phone.
BRB? Yes? [WHISPERING.]
I can't look at you.
If I look at you, I'm gonna start laughing.
The man called us "girls," Abby.
And then compared us to his mom.
Yes, I know, and when he did that, I kind of blacked out for a second.
I don't think I can do this.
Yes, you can.
You absolutely can.
All right, you're right.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
All right! Tell me about this great fit, girls.
I'm all ears.
I feel so strong, you know? I mean, have the last few days been brutal? Yes, coming to terms with JD's decision has not been easy.
But it's what the universe wants for me, so I accept You know, you seem remarkably healthy.
- Thank you.
- Impressive bounce-back.
I'd still be in the lying-in-a-cold-tub, listening-to-Joni-Mitchell, opening-up-my-wrists phase.
Yeah, well, it's my third divorce.
I'm a pro.
We are just so happy to have our girl back.
I know.
I miss you guys.
I hated sharing you with that Gemma.
Did she remind anyone else of Dracula? - Yeah.
- Gemma was not healthy.
I'm just so excited to start fresh and focus on spending time with the kids, get my life back on track.
By the way, thank you so much for moving so fast on the divorce paperwork.
Oh, that was my pleasure.
That was an easy one.
Say, we're still on for tomorrow? I'm gonna come over.
We're gonna go over everything.
Definitely.
Wrap it up.
Kill it.
THIS ONE: greatest friend ever.
I know.
Who needs all that Legal Aid joint when you have us for pro bono? Mm-hmm.
So what's new with you, Jo? Oh, me? No, nada, nothing.
- No? - No, no, no, no, no.
- Just same old same old.
- Really? There's got to be something.
Please? I feel so bad.
I've been out of the loop.
[SIGHS.]
Did you tell her about Paul? Did you tell her about the smoochies? Oh.
Wait, wait, Legal Aid Paul? We are just working really hard to get this class action off the ground.
We're just colleagues.
With benefits.
I don't know.
- It's new.
We'll see.
- How fun! I was asking about you, though, Jo.
How was the retreat with Bald Eagle? Oh, the hot boxer.
What's the latest? Yeah, what's the latest? There's no latest.
It's just - No? - Yeah, honestly.
There's just meditation.
Blah, blah, blah.
It's kind of boring.
But did you go all the way with him yet? No, not yet, but more about you.
Two days in the woods, nothing happened? - No.
- No? - Too complicated.
- Complicated how? I have to go.
Damien Fields Gallery.
Okay, great.
You got your job back.
Well, no, I just took a breather.
I mean, it's consulting.
It's super casual.
Bye.
Love you guys.
Bye.
Bye! [SIGHS.]
Bald Eagle is Albert.
It's Albert, yeah.
I slept with your Albert.
There.
There it is.
Thank you for telling me what I already knew.
I had a feeling you knew.
Jesus, it was like the judgment of Nuremburg at this table.
How did you find out? His assistant told me he was going to the Tao of Rex retreat.
I put it together.
You held it in for four days? You should talk.
How long have you known? Only until the retreat.
Don't you remember? We couldn't use our names.
All I saw was, with all the equipment, this short dude I just wanted to beat up all the time.
I had no idea.
I'm so, so sorry.
Beyond.
- God, this is so bizarre.
- It is so messed up.
Absurd.
Bald Eagle? You were right about the sex, by the way.
- He's an animal.
- Yeah, I know.
- I'm sorry.
Too soon.
- No, it's fine.
- Are you gonna keep seeing him? - I don't know.
- But you like him.
- I'm not sure.
Well, uh Yeah, there's something there.
I mean, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't.
But I don't know.
I will walk away.
I never wanted any drama, and there's a lot of it for a million different reasons, you at the top of the heap.
Oh, no.
Me and Albert? Oh, come on.
That is beyond over.
That is the past.
No, that is not what I am worried about.
What are you worried about? You.
I don't want to see you get hurt.
You're afraid he's gonna hurt me, right? I mean, he's getting better.
He's trying.
But do people really change that much? He put me through so much.
He tore up my life.
I don't want to see you get messed with.
I care about you.
But it's your decision.
Don't think about us.
Whatever you decide, I'll support you.
Thanks.
It's very, very big of you.
- Where's the waiter? - Yeah.
[LIGHT MUSIC.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Phoebe Conte.
Hello, Damien.
How are you? I'm fine, yeah.
It's been a while.
I know.
We have a lot to catch up on.
But first your collection is breathtaking.
I have some big fish I need to get in here stat.
Mmm, like Gemma Sacco.
No, actually, we parted ways.
I see.
Anyways, this piece is stunning.
Whose is it? Phoebe, honey, cut the shit.
You disappeared for months without so much as a phone call.
I know.
I just thought our consultant arrangement was a bit more informal, but I'm sorry.
I should have called.
Gemma's consuming, and JD and I split, so I really haven't been myself lately.
I'm sorry to hear that, Phoebe.
Thank you.
Anyways, I'm here, and I'm ready to work.
Yeah, that won't be necessary.
I I hired another consultant, Coco.
Terrific.
He actually moved a Kusama on his first day.
Half a million.
Whew.
Wow.
Why don't you just give me a chance? I'm not in the business of giving chances.
I'm in business.
Sorry.
I loved their presentation.
I'm just not sure if they have the heft.
I hear that, but their company's blowing up, and they're a great fit.
And their social media is all about that mother-daughter angle.
I come bearing decaf lattes.
God bless you, child.
You are a lifesaver.
Give it to me.
Any progress? Who are we going with? Well, Barbara is really pushing for Snack Chix, that you know, the mother-daughter-run thing.
Okay, again with the face.
What? No, what face? I'm not making a face.
A little bit of a face.
I just you know, I think they're very smart, and they make these delicious gluten-free little bites of heaven, but Abby's concerned about their financials, which is legit.
So maybe we bring on Snack Chix and other advertisers, help fill in the bottom line.
Or we just commit to one big advertiser with deep pockets who is established, who is a sure thing, like DON'T SAY BOTH: Cameron.
He's the douchey one, right? Uber douchey, like Jeremy Piven and Justin Bieber had a baby and it ate Charlie Sheen.
[LAUGHS.]
Plus, he requested a non-compete.
Oh, and I assume that means That means that we can only advertise his products on our site and no other advertisers.
But, you know, he's a big company, and his annual revenue is just going up.
They're marketing to female alcoholics.
That's practically what he said.
But all the, you know, Snack Chix and all the other advertisers that we met today added up still do not equal one Cameron.
[PHONE CHIMING.]
Ugh! Fine.
But you have to be his point day-to-day.
- Deal? - Deal.
Yay! Oh, my God, I love when we are on the same page.
Makes me so happy.
Let's see how happy she is when he's bro'ing all over her.
[PHONE CHIMING.]
Why does my mom keep texting me? "Call me back.
Your dad had a steak.
" What? [LAUGHS.]
"Stroke, not steak.
" My dad had a stroke.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Oh.
Hey, Daddy.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry I couldn't get here last night.
Jake took the kids.
I had to get them to Vancouver.
And how are you? Oh.
Ooh, Abby, dear, you're a little stinky.
Oh, well, I was rushing.
- Oh.
- You look very pale.
When was the last time you ate? Oh, don't worry about me.
I'm I'm fine.
Wow.
You've been very busy.
Lots of photographs.
Well I wanted to make it nice for him.
How long is he gonna be like this? What did the doctor say? She wasn't, uh she wasn't very specific.
I don't know, something about, I don't know, brain swelling.
Abby, please.
Please, honey.
Would you get me some tea? The air is so dry here.
I feel like I'm getting a sore throat.
Sure.
Now, can you please finish your thought about the brain swelling? Don't snap at me! I'm not snapping at you.
My husband's just had a stroke.
I know, and I'm just trying to understand what's happening here.
[SIGHS.]
She seemed she seemed very positive.
- Dr.
Boyd.
- Okay.
Yes, you'll love her.
She went to some Ivy League school.
I can't remember which one.
Uh, Yale.
Maybe Brown.
Okay, it doesn't matter.
I'm sure it was great.
I left a message for my GP at Cedar's.
We need to get a referral for a second opinion.
Is that really necessary? Dr.
Boyd is more than capable.
I'm sure Dr.
Boyd is great, and I'm also sure that she would understand.
I don't see why you feel the need to bother your doctor.
I'm not bothering my doctor.
I have everything under control here.
I know you do.
It's just, getting a second opinion is standard.
Were you able to reach Max? It's a shitty time to be in Europe.
Yes, yes, of course I did.
I called him this morning.
Okay, well, good.
Well, I'm glad he's on his way.
Daddy, I love you so much.
I love you, sweetheart.
You're gonna be okay.
Lord, have mercy on me I'm in a way You okay? Oh, I'm texting Abby.
Poor thing, her dad's in the hospital.
Yeah, I heard.
Lilly had to take her brother up to Vancouver.
I feel so bad for them.
It's a good thing we work at a bakery.
We can eat our worries.
[LAUGHS.]
Can I ask you a hypothetical? Yeah.
Let's say you took a bite of this apple tart and you got sick.
Would that mean if I took a bite of the same tart, I would yak too? Well, I wouldn't risk it.
You could just go get yourself a fresh, uneaten tart.
Ah, too exhausting.
A lot of rotten tarts out there.
I got sick a couple of times, and I don't want that anymore.
But this particular tart, mm? I've taken a few nibbles, and it tasted pretty good.
And I just got a feeling that if I I kept eating this stupid thing, that just maybe, finally You might get full.
Yeah, I guess.
I just wish to hell that my friend hadn't taken a bite of the damn thing first.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well [STAMMERS.]
Enough.
Enough with these tortuous metaphors.
Back to work, E.
[PHONE RINGING.]
So have you spoken to Abby? Yeah, I just got off the phone with her.
She seems pretty stressed.
Yeah, I bet.
- Yeah.
- Hospitals gives me hives.
- Oh, heebie-jeebies.
- I know.
So do divorce settlements.
Well, the agreement looks pretty straightforward.
Well, that's music to my ears.
You and JD both get to keep everything you entered the marriage with.
The house, being your largest asset, remains yours.
- That's great.
- But you do know that as long as most of your money is tied up in this place, you are not liquid.
Totally fine.
Résumés are out.
Gallery's gonna bite.
It's all good.
- Okay.
- Great.
All right.
So something did come up just this morning.
Ex hubby number two's lawyer called.
What does Ralf want? He wants to renegotiate custody.
I don't understand.
He wants primary custody.
Phoebe, he thinks that the home environment is unstable.
Unstable? Yeah.
Based on what? According to his lawyer, your impulsive marriage to JD and divorce and all the travel with Gemma, he thinks it's taking a toll on the kids.
That's ridiculous.
He can't do this.
Calm down.
He can't change anything unless you agree.
- I don't agree.
- Okay.
I don't agree, and you can tell that shithead I said so.
Look, I'm your friend, and I love you.
But as your lawyer, I really think that you could at least consider Ralf's proposal.
It's only temporary.
I don't care how temporary it is.
It'll give you a chance to sort things out.
We can renegotiate alimony.
Delia, I appreciate your legal advice.
I really do.
But I am not giving up my kids.
Okay.
Okay, I'll handle it.
Thank you.
Can't see no other way To get my freedom Show me the flames Hang in there, Abbs.
And get some sleep; you sound exhausted.
Oh, you should see my mom.
She is running herself ragged.
She's obsessed with these scented candles.
My father's hospital room smells like Pier One on steroids.
Abby? Come taste this.
Coming! And she has been cooking nonstop since I got here, Lord help me.
She wants to fatten you up, so put on some stretch pants and do it for Mama McCarthy.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay.
I love you.
- I love you more.
- Bye.
Mom, let me do that.
You cooked.
Oh, honey, no.
I've got it.
I want you to taste this lasagna.
I'm not hungry.
Oh, come on.
Come on, skinny Minnie.
Open up.
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Delicious.
Yes.
The last time I made this for your dad, he got so excited.
He just took me in his arms, and he just Oy, Ma.
Stop.
I get it.
You and Dad like the sex.
Thank you for that image.
Oh, I talked to the neurologist that my doctor recommended.
He looked at Daddy's charts.
And? Did she tell you I was right, that your father's doctor is more than capable? Yes, he told me that he agreed with her course of treatment.
Exactly.
Next time, you should trust your smart mama.
What else could you possibly be making? Those nurses will be much better to your father if I butter them up a little, so I'm making my cream cheese cupcakes.
But how many of them do you need? Well, I want everyone to have one and maybe more.
Come on.
Come on.
Give me a hand.
By the way, do you know what time Max's flight is coming in? Flight? What flight? You said he was on his way.
No, I told him not to come.
He's halfway around the world.
He's working.
He's at a conference, and Berlin is hardly There's no reason for him to come until we know how serious the situation is.
Mom, I really think Max should be here.
You know how fragile Max is when it comes to your father.
Yes, but Abby, please! I don't want to argue! [SIGHS.]
I just need your support.
Of course.
You have my support.
Good, because I need you.
I mean, after all, who is gonna do the taste-testing here? I'm watching my waistline, and you are much too skinny if you ask me.
Come on.
So the areas outlined in red show where the first stroke took place.
As you can see, it's rather large, but it's contained; the bleeding's stopped.
Now, the second stroke, outlined in blue, is smaller - May I see? - That's a good thing, right? - That it's smaller? - Yes, yes.
But his condition is serious.
Oh.
Oh, sorry.
The swelling hasn't gone down as much as I'd like.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
Mom.
Ma, stop playing with that thing.
It's just, until the swelling goes down, it's hard to know exactly what the damage is.
But there's going to be damage for sure? A stroke like this? Almost certainly.
Is he gonna wake up? We hope so.
But if I were you, I'd be prepared for anything.
Ma.
Mom.
Wh what? Do you have any questions? No, no, no, no.
That was thank you.
That was very informative, Dr.
Boyd.
Oh, thank you for looking it over, Guy, and considering me.
Understood, understood.
Totally understand.
Well, thank you so much for taking the time.
Bye.
[PHONE BEEPS.]
I hate you.
Why are you still here? [SIGHS.]
Nouky Pooky, I am so focused.
I am so focused.
No internet, nothing, not until I am done cold-calling every gallery in Los Angeles.
No, I mean why are you still here? You're supposed to pick Luco up from soccer.
No, not until 4:00.
It's a half day, Mom.
Check your texts.
What? Oh, shit.
Oh, God.
Oh, shit.
Shit.
So you can see the key ad is front and center.
And while the ad area isn't huge, we're aiming for seamless integration, intentional positioning for maximum impact.
So thoughts, Cameron? Questions? All good stuff.
I did have some thoughts on content.
But I've been working in digital content for over a decade, so Okay, love all the girl power stuff, for example.
It's fierce.
The Alicia Keys profile? Excelente.
But some of the anti-status quo rhetoric in the articles, it gets old.
Feels a little preachy, you know? We You need to remember we're in the business of getting women to spend money.
Cameron.
You need to remember that the content, the purview, the philosophy of Lady Parts is not up for discussion here.
Yeah, yeah, I respect that.
I respect that, and I see ya.
That's your site, a hun percent.
It's just [SIGHS.]
We need to make sure we're on the same page before we move forward.
Actually, we don't.
Excuse me? You're moving out the door, because the deal's off.
[LAUGHS.]
Come on.
This is the best deal you girls are gonna get.
Right.
You can leave now.
Buh-bye.
Hey, Luco, Mama's really sorry.
It's okay, Mom.
I'll be in my room.
Okay.
I got your favorite cruffin, salted caramel.
No, thanks.
What? Nothing.
Anouk, look.
Hey.
I made a mistake, okay? I didn't know.
I didn't know it was a half day.
Nobody told me.
We shouldn't have to.
What? Tell you.
You should just know.
Buy a calendar.
I'm sure Dad can send you one.
What does that mean? Nothing.
Things are just more normal when we're with Dad.
Yeah, well, Dad has a staff of people to drive you around.
I am sorry.
I shouldn't have said that.
- Anouk - It's fine.
- Can we drop it? - No.
[SIGHS.]
Do you talk to your dad about how you're feeling here? I don't know.
Does it matter? Yes, it does.
It does matter.
Anouk, I am trying, okay? But if you are feeling this way, if you are unhappy here, I need you to talk to me.
Don't complain to your dad.
Talk to me.
I am right here.
No, you're not.
You're never around.
And JD's here, and then he's not.
[SIGHS.]
Anouk, wait.
- I'm going to my room.
- Anouk.
[SIGHS.]
Here, Mom.
Ah, thank you.
You should eat something, bun-bun.
Not hungry.
I just I'm still processing everything the doctor said, you know? Oh.
Don't worry about all that.
Doctors, they say things, you know.
Just It must be really hard for you to hear that, huh? [SIGHS.]
Which is why I called Max and caught him up.
What? He had no idea how serious this was, and he wants to be here.
He is presenting in the morning, and then he's getting on the next flight out.
Oh, I can't believe you did that.
He deserves to know, Mom.
Worrying Max when he is so far away? He didn't need to know this.
Your father is g he could wake up in the morning.
Oh, my God, were you just in the same meeting? Your father is going to be fine.
We don't know that! You are being overly dramatic.
Oh, my God, he had two strokes, Mom.
He has swelling in his brain.
It is very, very serious! We need to be prepared for the worst.
He might never wake up! He might die! Are you hearing me? Are you understanding what I'm saying? [SOBBING.]
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
But everyone at this table has a black belt in PITA management.
Or you should from working with me, so [LAUGHTER.]
Okay, that's it.
Thanks, everyone.
Delia, hey.
Can I have a word? Uh-huh, sure.
Of course.
What's up, Albert? Yeah, I was just, you know, checking in on your caseload, wondering how you're balancing all of your Okay, look, you've been avoiding me lately.
I've been busy.
Ever since I got back from my trip.
Mm-hmm, right, surf camp.
How was that? Delia, this is ridiculous.
You obviously know.
Can we just talk about this, please? What's there to talk about? You had sex with my friend.
You're both consenting adults.
You can have sex with whomever you please.
I had no idea Jo was your friend when she and I first I had no intention of hurting anybody.
- Believe me.
- I'm fine.
I don't care.
I'm fine.
It's fine.
You, you're divorced, and I know how divorced men act, screwing every woman that they can.
I don't want to screw every woman I can.
I only want to screw her.
Okay, that didn't come out right.
Look, I really like Jo.
Right.
Okay, Albert.
No, I do.
I do.
Can I can feel her starting to pull away, and you being okay with this, with us, it would really So what, you want my blessing? - It would help, yes.
- Oh, wow, okay.
What? You are so full of shit, Albert.
[SIGHS.]
You don't like Jo.
You're just screwing her to get under my skin.
That is not true.
This has nothing to do with you and me! Please, it's just another one of your twisted power plays.
- Why would I do that? - Good question! You and I are in a good place.
Were, and now my friend is at risk.
And you don't want to see how I act when you hurt one of my friends.
You're threatening me now.
Yeah, I am.
Respectfully, stay the hell away from her.
Are you sure you're okay to do this? Yes.
I just I just don't want to leave anything unsaid.
Well, you look beautiful.
I know Dad would tell you that if he could.
It's just really hard.
Yeah.
Well, the two of you are in each other's bones, you know? All you really need to do is just go in there and say how you feel, and he'll hear you.
Oh, you say that, but we don't really know what he hears.
You know, I'm so afraid I'm not gonna say the right thing.
Well, it's worth a try.
Would you help me practice? What? You be me, and I'll be Dad.
Oh, Abby, go on.
Go on.
Go on as you saying good-bye to your husband? Yes.
I just I just need some some ideas.
Um I know you can't see me right now, but I'm here.
And whatever happens after this Oh, please.
No.
Try again.
The last 48 years have been the happiest years of my life.
I would never speak to him that way.
Once more.
- George - No.
Mom, do you want to do this or not? Yes, I do.
I just [SIGHS.]
I just need some more time.
Would you please go in before me? Please.
Okay.
Thank you.
[ROCK MUSIC.]
?? You're my frickin' hero.
You are an inspiration to young girls everywhere.
You're like Beyoncé.
Okay, settle down.
I just turned down a lot of money, money that Lady Parts really needed.
Yes, and you will come up with a Plan B.
We had a Plan B, Snack Chix, and they just got snatched up by another site.
Those bitches.
We're so screwed.
Maybe I can call Cameron and apologize? No, screw that D-bag.
You decide who you want to work with right now.
- You're your own boss.
- Yeah.
With Abby, who I really wish I could talk to right now, but she's dealing with so much.
It's time for you to figure it out on your own.
Yeah, and you will.
- [PHONE RINGS.]
- Oh, God, this is Parker.
I got to take this.
Hey.
Talk to him yet? Talk to who? Kidding.
He's texted me.
I haven't responded.
I decided to skip boxing, because I'm not in a very Zen mood.
Mm-hmm.
That is a very good decision.
Well, I haven't made a decision yet.
I know, but it's clear to me which way you're leaning.
You should go with your gut, Jo.
Yeah.
Hey.
[SIGHS.]
Hey.
Hey, you okay? Yeah.
Sorry.
I just had a shitty day.
What happened? I was late picking up Luco from soccer.
- Ooh.
- How late were you? Hour? - Oh, poor thing.
- Yeah, I know.
And now he's barely speaking to me, and Anouk is not talking to me, so I'm just the parent of the year over here.
Hey, Phoebs, it happens to everyone.
Thank you, Babs.
Did I miss something? Are you mad at us? No, I just thought you'd be more supportive.
I mean, everything you've been through with Zooey.
I mean, I knew what Delia's attitude would be.
That's not fair.
What, did you come here to pick a fight with me? No, I'm just waiting for you to tell me that I should take Ralf up on his offer.
What offer? He wants me to renegotiate custody.
- Oh.
- Tell him no.
Exactly.
She can.
She can say no.
Or she can consider a temporary solution where the kids find some stability and she has time, you know, to discover Delia? Hey, talk to me.
I'm right here.
And all due respect, you don't have children, so you really have no position to give me advice on this.
Parenting is hard.
Phoebe, we all know that.
It's a shitshow.
We all screw up royally sometimes.
Yeah, I've just been spinning since this whole divorce, and I really need my kids right now.
Right.
But what do they need? I mean, that's what's most important, right? I really wasn't expecting to be doing this, but Mom kind of threw me under the bus, so [CHUCKLES.]
Well, your skin looks so amazing right now.
I mean, I don't even know how that's possible, but [LAUGHS.]
Sorry the kids aren't here.
They, uh they miss you.
Oh! Screw it.
Daddy, this last year has been so dumb.
I did I tell you that I walked in on Lilly in bed with a boy? [LAUGHS.]
In flagrante discreto? Is that the Latin? I don't know.
I'm so bad at Latin.
Our little Lil.
Things are going so fast with her.
Jake says, "Time is happening.
It's happening to us.
" I prefer the saying, "Middle age isn't for pussies.
" [LAUGHS.]
Barbara and I oh, you don't know Barbara, but we started a business.
You'd like that.
I met someone.
It's complicated.
I already broke up with him.
But, um, I still feel him, you know, if that makes any sense.
It just wasn't the right moment.
So here I am alone, and maybe that's a good thing.
I know we haven't really talked much lately, but you'll always be my daddy.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
And I love you.
Mom.
Ma, you ready to go in? Mom.
M-Mom.
Seriously, people? She made you cupcakes! Abby? Abby.
Are you hearing me? She was overextended.
Yes.
She was being treated for high blood pressure.
Did you know that? She didn't like to bother us with that stuff.
Well, the cardiac arrest was likely exacerbated by that That and the emotional distress.
Her body just couldn't take it.
Unfortunately, it's not uncommon in women her age.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
I'm just gonna give you a minute, okay? Hey, guys? Can I talk to you for a second? We're in the middle of a game.
I know.
It's just gonna take a minute.
Thank you.
So I know things have been a little weird and confusing with all of my traveling and with JD gone.
And I'm really sorry for all of it.
I'm not perfect.
But I am your mom, and I love you two so much.
And I am gonna do whatever it takes to make things right for you here, with me, to make things normal.
I'm not going anywhere.
Okay, Mom.
Cool.
Is that all? I guess.
Good, because I was just in the middle of kicking Luco's ass.
No, you weren't.
You were behind by, like, 20 points.
You're such a liar! [SIGHS.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Jesus! Who the hell did you fight, Mayweather? Worse.
Big Bear.
Big Bear? Are you nuts? The guy's built like a Zamboni.
You didn't wear a helmet? It's your fault.
You didn't answer my texts or calls, and when you didn't show up tonight, - I wasn't thinking straight.
- Get a grip, Rocky.
Come here.
I'm gonna clean you up.
Vodka? Well, it works in a pinch.
Oh, fine.
[INHALES SHARPLY.]
Ow, ow.
Sorry.
Look, I don't know what Delia said to you, but I swear you and I, that's nothing to do with her.
What are you babbling about? Delia's fine.
She's been good.
She's calm.
She's surprisingly cool.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's just a vibe I got.
What did she say? I think she's just afraid I'll hurt you which I won't.
What are you thinking? It's so loaded.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's just it's an epic shitstorm.
If you need more time, I get it.
I'm gonna step back from the dojo for a while and let you have it.
It's been so good for you.
It's been good for you too.
- Hey.
- Abby, hey.
- How's your dad? - Uh Uh, he's the same.
Okay, listen, this is terrible timing, but I told Cameron we decided to go in a different direction.
And, look, I get it.
I get it if you're mad at me.
My mom died.
Yesterday.
Wait, what? Your mom? Abby, what happened? She had a heart attack.
I mean [LAUGHS.]
It's crazy, right? Okay, just give me a few hours.
I will get on a plane, and I'll be there.
You shouldn't be alone.
No, no, thank you.
I'm fine.
I just I would actually rather if you just stayed in L.
A.
It would make me feel better with you in L.
A.
I just I can't deal with the business right now.
You know, I need you to take it.
I trust you.
Barbara? Yeah, I'm here.
I got it, Abby.
Don't worry about anything here.
Okay, thank you.
And I love you.
Like, a lot.
Um Okay, please don't make this weird.
Abbs.
I kind of love you a lot too.
Okay.
[FUNKY MUSIC.]
[SIGHS.]
[PHONE CHIMES.]
Mm-hmm, we got the call last night.
Case is going through.
Christede is going down.
- It's very exciting.
- I am so proud of you, you and your BF saving the world.
Yeah, or a few dozen immigrants with housing problems, but it is enough for a class action, so Oh.
[SIGHS.]
So what about you? What's up? You've been kind of quiet.
Yeah, yeah.
There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about.
I decided to move forward with our little bald friend.
Ah.
Well Give it a go.
Well, decision made.
Any thoughts or feelings? No, I mean, I told you.
It's your life, Jo.
I'm just here to advise.
You didn't have a talk with him? Huh? Or threaten him on my behalf? Is that what he told you? Wow, Albert.
Pretty typical.
Typical how? What do you mean? Oh, you know, Albert, his games.
He's such a manipulator.
He's trying to come between us.
Oh, my gosh, I knew you weren't gonna be cool with this.
The supportive act, it's just an act.
I support you.
I gave you room to make the right decision, and you blew it.
The right decision according to you.
Oh, my God.
I know him better than you think.
God, I should have known.
Frumpkis, Scott Of course you're gonna fall in love with a "Bald Eagle.
" - Wow, the truth comes out.
- Please, Jo.
What, you think that he cares about you? He's using you to screw with me.
Because it's all about you.
[PHONES CHIME.]
That's ridiculous.
I just got a text from Barbara.
Yeah, so did I.
Her mom? - I know.
- That's so - Insane.
- Poor Abby.
What can we do? What I want is to go up north to be there for her, but she needs me here keeping this business going, which, after the shitshow I made of that Cameron deal, not a sure thing.
I so wish we weren't beholden to the douche nozzles of this world and their money.
Me too.
Maybe we don't have to be.
Have to be what? There's more than one way to skin this cat.
Capitalize on what we have.
What if we shift things up completely? [SIGHS.]
[SOFT MUSIC.]
- Hi.
- Hey.
Oh, my God.
How did you guys Barbara texted us.
Oh, Abby, honey.
This is I got it at the airport.
This is so weird.
Sorry.
Come here.
What do you need? What can we do? Um, what do I need? Um Ms.
McCarthy? It's your dad.
Um I'm sorry.
Where is my mind? Where is my You're awake.
Oh, bun-bun.
How do you feel? Behind the rocks Except the little fish Where's Mom?