Jane the Virgin (2014) s04e03 Episode Script

1 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: We're back! And fate had brought Jane back to her very first love, Adam.
And she leapt right into a relationship with him.
- [CRIES OUT.]
- LATIN NARRATOR: I know! Ouch.
But still, it's nice to see her happy, isn't it? Less happy, our Rafael.
See, he'd lost all his money.
And his sister Luisa kicked him out of the Marbella.
So he was scheming with Petra to buy Luisa out.
Oh, and did I mention, Petra recently dumped him.
- I'm sorry, Rafael.
- Just go.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah, so like I said, Raf was in a bad place.
But at least he found an investor to work with.
Only problem: he had to work her.
And speaking of dark times, remember Petra's mother Magda? You know, the one who was locked up in jail for murder.
- Well - Granny's back.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: That's right.
And she teamed up with Luisa, who was also trying to sell the damn hotel, because she needed the money to spring her crime lord girlfriend from jail.
I know! Straight out of a telenovela, right? Well, imagine this.
Jane's father recently married her mother, even though he was expecting a baby with his ex, Darci, who he had a complicated relationship with.
But at least he was still a big star.
Although right now, he's playing someone very tiny.
Oh, and he recently got a familiar new costar.
That's right, Esteban's back, too.
And he'd hit it off with Darci.
And things are due to drop, so let's dive in.
When Jane Gloriana Villanueva was seven years old, she met one of her mom's boyfriends for the first time.
Unfortunately [SCREAMS.]
Jane, are you okay? Jane didn't know it was her mother's boyfriend.
Needless to say, Jane wanted it to go perfectly when Mateo and Adam met for the first time.
And after grilled cheese sandwiches, you'll give him a big bag of gummy worms, and I'm gonna be like, "No more candy, young man.
" And then you're gonna be like, "Come on.
" And then I'm gonna be like, "Okay.
" And then we'll go to a baseball game.
- Got it.
When is this happening? - In eight weeks.
IKE: Eight weeks? Wow, that's like two years in Jane/Adam time.
Your relationship is in, like, a time warp.
Dude, yes, yes! They time warped right over Adam's panic zone.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Don't you two have to get dressed if you're gonna make that movie? [SIGHS.]
Sorry about that.
No, it's okay.
I mean, I understand if you're in panic zone.
- We are moving pretty fast.
- I'm not in the panic zone.
I am in "I want to spend every second with you" zone.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: This goes on for a while.
Let's time warp through it.
- Peace out, bro.
- Bye.
I should get home, too, get back to Mateo.
Hey, do you want to come over tomorrow after he goes to school? Yeah, roger that.
I will engage the Mateo Protocol.
Copy, copy, 10-4, copy.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes, the Mateo Protocol.
That is the Actually, let's just time warp to tomorrow morning to see it.
This trick is useful, isn't it? - Bye, Mommy.
- Bye.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[BELL RINGS.]
[RHYTHMIC KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
[RHYTHMIC KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
[TIMER DINGS.]
[GIGGLES.]
Okay, I think we can shorten the knock sequence.
No way.
The complexity is what makes it so badass.
- [CAT MEOWS.]
- LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ooh.
I think our agent has been compromised.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
[LAUGHS.]
[GASPS.]
My publisher sent over the art for my book cover.
No way.
What? If you saw this on the shelf, what would you think this book is about? Hmm.
Is it, uh, a period piece about a woman who can't wait to give her boyfriend the business? [CHUCKLES.]
Exactly.
And no, it's not.
I just don't understand.
Where's the romance? There's no magic.
It's all about sex.
And my book is about so much more than that, you know? Actually, I don't.
It's kind of hard to judge the book by the cover if I haven't read it.
That's my way of asking you if I can read it.
Mm.
Or, are we not at that point in our timeline? Usually, that's like a five month thing, but since you already taught me roofball I'm going to say okay.
And I'll just casually wait really anxiously until you read it, so be timely, please.
- Right on.
- Mmm.
- I'm so stoked.
- Mmm.
And I will just give my publisher notes on the cover.
Less sex.
That's for them, not for us, right? Oh.
[GIGGLES.]
KATHERINE: This is not pillow talky.
This is work talky.
I just want to know the details.
So, you and your partner are doing an inspection of the Marbella tomorrow? Well, I got to look under the hood and make sure everything I'm buying is good and fresh.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, hello, Raf the boy toy.
You know, I could talk to your investor as well, if it would make them feel more comfortable.
Don't you worry about it.
We're all on the same page.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I wish someone would explain it to me.
We're gonna buy the Marbella, hire you as CEO to run it, and set up a payment plan for you to buy it back over time plus interest, plus ten percent for me for the front.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: That makes sense.
And And your sister will never know about us.
Mmm.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Looks like Jane's not the only secret agent.
Don't worry.
[PHONE VIBRATES.]
- Everything okay? - Just a kid thing.
PETRA: What are you wearing? Babicka gave us presents when we saw her in the kids' club.
Why are you so mean to Babicka? Girls.
Your grandmother and I have a complicated relationship 'cause she's done some not-very-nice things.
Magda! Our teachers at school say we should always forgive.
Well, they haven't met your Babicka.
[LAUGHS.]
: Kidding.
I'm kidding.
No, you girls are right.
I'll just have a chat with Granny tomorrow, and we'll just work all of our issues out.
You stay away from my kids, do you hear me?! You want me gone? Then sign the deal from Luisa.
[SCOFFS.]
Never.
I built this hotel.
I'm not selling it.
Then Babicka will be talking to darling girls in hallway, in lounge, maybe even teach them how to pickpocket.
Okay, how about this.
Whatever Luisa's paying, I'll pay you more to leave town.
She's paying us a million dollars.
Actually, it's a million Czech korunas, Mother.
Korunas?! That's only $46,000.
Wow, wow, wow! Looks like you bet on the wrong horse.
ESTEBAN: Ride me, Darci! Ride me! - This is too much.
- DARCI: Yes! I can't tolerate having to hear Esteban have sex with my unborn child.
He's having sex with your unborn child's mother.
Who goes after a pregnant woman and starts dating her within a week? Is it some kind of fetish or something? ESTEBAN: Yes, Momma! They are both just doing this to get to me.
DARCI: Oh, yes! Yes! I'm telling you, she's faking it.
I mean, I should know.
Okay, enough.
You need to chill.
This isn't about you.
They have some kind of chemical attraction that I'm sure is going to flame out eventually.
[KNOCKS.]
New script pages.
Gracias, Rudy.
[GAGS.]
Who okayed this disgusting rewrite?! ESTEBAN: I did.
On Five-O, the writers were always taking my ideas.
Well, this is not Hawaii Five-O.
This is a telenovela, and your character cannot have sex with the lady scientist when I'm still shrunken and living inside her.
Why not? Because you can't just introduce a new love interest three-fifths of the way through the series and expect the audience to root for him! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Hey, that reminds me, where's Adam? What a great guy.
It doesn't make logical sense.
And audiences need logic.
This is not the intestine I approved! I am rejecting this rewrite.
Period, period, period.
Technically that's, that's an ellipsis.
Fine.
Obviously, Rogelio wants the show to suck.
JANE: No, it-it's really good.
But I do have some thoughts.
Uh, oh.
Go get dressed; Bisa's gonna take you to the park.
A snow globe is sort of the central metaphor, so it would be, you know, it would be nice to work that in.
And it's a LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: So, yeah, let's time warp through this.
I think that about sums it up.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thank you so much.
That was a really great call.
I think they totally heard me.
Mwah.
Have fun, you two.
Bye.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[GRUMBLES.]
: Come on.
[RHYTHMIC KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
- Nah.
- [TIMER DINGS.]
You-you cut the knock sequence short? We'll live.
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
So good news.
The publisher was really receptive to the notes that I gave on my cover.
- [SQUEALS, LAUGHS.]
- Whoa.
- So we should celebrate.
- Oh, yeah? Yeah, I got a few ideas.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- I forgot Mr.
Monkey.
- Don't hurt my mommy! - Oh - Hyah! - Ow! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Hey, could be worse.
At least nobody had a knife.
Were you giving my mommy a special hug?! To give her a baby.
What?! No! No, that's not what it was.
So what was it? More like a special kiss that's not about babies.
What's a special kiss about? JANE: Um well, it's, um, uh it's a regular kiss, um, but longer.
I want a special kiss.
Oh, Mateo, no.
Mwah.
Mwah.
- Love you, Daddy.
- I love you guys.
Off you go.
I'll see you soon.
Wait.
Can we talk? What's there to say? Well, I just want you to know that I've got my mother handled.
Turns out she and Anezka are too inept to be much of a threat.
So, anyway, if Katherine Cortes doesn't come through, we're fine.
We can wait for another investor.
The Katherine deal will go through.
How do you know? She told me in bed.
I thought you weren't going there.
Hey, my personal life's not your concern.
Remember? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of an uncomfortable personal life.
I'll do the belly jelly, honey bun.
I'd love to.
LATIN NARRATOR: Geez, is there anything the man can't make porny? Why is he even here? Bringing your man to a sonogram after just one week of dating must violate every rule in the Darci Factor rule book.
Rule number 97, Codicil L for love.
"When your heart's been took, throw out the book.
" Geez, these two make Adam and Jane seem like they're taking it slow.
Okay.
There she is! [GASPS SOFTLY.]
I can't wait to meet her.
Neither can I.
[ESTEBAN SOBS.]
I've never wanted to meet someone so badly, but at the same time, I feel like I already know her.
Baby that's so profound.
[WHIMPERING.]
RAFAEL: Okay, baby.
Call me as soon as the hotel inspection is done, alright? I'll see you later.
Kisses.
"Kisses"? Already? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: "Kisses"? Ever? So give me some details.
Oh, come on, we used to talk about this stuff all the time.
- She's fun.
- Mm-hmm.
And we're keeping it casual.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Unlike you and Adam.
Right.
So, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
Um, Mateo met Adam.
It was an accident.
But it wasn't good.
Here's what happened.
You don't need to hear this again.
Let's just see how he takes it.
From everything that Alba's told me, I don't think the guy's a good influence.
Yup.
Not well.
She hates him from years ago.
You went skinny-dipping on your first date and broke your leg on your second.
It was actually the sixth date.
Point being, the guy doesn't just scream "responsible" to me.
You can't say that without meeting him.
Let's all have a meal, so that you can see that he's not an imminent danger to our son.
- Fine.
- Great! I'll tell Adam.
ROGELIO: I have an amazing announcement to make! Our beautiful new daughter will make her world premiere at the Ricky Martin Celebrity Birthing Suite at Miami General.
I pulled some of the many, many strings available to me for our baby to enter this world in this luxurious and 100% sterile environment.
Do you want to tell him? Let's do it together.
- Rogelio, we're - We are - No, you should start.
- You go No.
- [LAUGHS.]
- We always do this.
Okay, on the count of three.
One, two, three.
BOTH: We're having a home birth! A what? DARCI: A natural delivery at home.
With a birthing pool and a doula.
Esteban mentioned it, I researched it, and I decided it's the best option for baby and me.
While I was shooting Five-O, I spent a lot of time with the locals and got in touch with my earthy side.
And by locals, I mean Alex O'Loughlin and Scotty Caan.
They raved about home birth! DARCI: Mmm, that's exactly what I want, Smush.
Oh, I'm so happy, Mush.
JANE: Ew.
This cover art is even worse.
What would you think this book's about if you saw it? SONIA: Ooh.
Um an old-timey sex magician? [SIGHS.]
I'm just gonna give them more notes.
They made me do 26 drafts of this novel; they can take another pass at the cover.
- True.
- WAITER: Jane.
I've got a nightmare customer demanding to see the manager.
[SIGHS.]
JANE: How can I help you? This salad.
It's disgusting.
The lettuce is wilted and the chicken is not warm, which the menu indicated it would be.
- JANE: I'm so sorry.
- Taste it.
It's okay, I believe you.
You won't even eat the food that you served me? Taste it.
Mm.
You're right.
Let me get you a menu so you can pick something else out, on the house.
What a bitch.
Oh, you mean Rafael's hook-up? No, I mean the garbage human in the white dress.
Yeah.
That's Katherine Cortes.
- She's dating Rafael.
- What?! No.
Oh, don't worry, it's just a business arrangement.
He's using her to get the hotel back.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yup.
That's pretty much how Petra hoped Jane would react.
- Is Adam usually late? - He's probably driving, and he doesn't text and drive, which is a good thing.
And I met Katherine, by the way.
I have to admit, I was kind of surprised that you were dating someone with so much personality.
Until Petra explained that you're just using her for business.
I'm with Katherine because I like her.
And because she's good for busines We have a mutually beneficial relationship.
It's not like she's meeting Mateo.
By the way, being 15 minutes late does not bode well for being responsible.
Adam.
Hi.
Hey, hi.
Sorry.
Sorry, dude, traffic was crazy and, um, Waze was "waze" off.
- [GIGGLES.]
- No problem, dude.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Uh, all right.
Let's time warp past this awkward part, shall we? So, you have experience with kids? Uh, not really, um, but I'm-I'm a big kid at heart.
And he's also totally mature.
- Right.
- Super mature.
Like with everything: um, paying bills, not putting banana peels in the garbage disposal.
Oh.
Okay, let's move forward a little.
- So do you have a car seat? - Does Mateo still need a car seat? - I have a car seat.
- Ugh, I can't.
Okay, hypothetical.
The three of you are on your roof, you get locked out.
- Do you jump off? - No! I call for help.
Trick question.
Mateo should never be on your roof.
[PHONE VIBRATES.]
Sorry, it's Petra; she's got the girls.
I'm failing the test.
I am so sorry.
He's just in a bad mood and stressed.
Well, I am so proud of you for getting your yellow belt, Ellie.
Would you mind putting Mommy on the phone for one minute? Oh.
Hello? Why the hell would you tell Jane about Katherine? Oh.
Was I not supposed to? I didn't know.
- Oh, please.
- PETRA: Fine.
You wouldn't listen to me, so I thought maybe you'd listen to her.
Why would I listen to either of you? - Because we're all a family.
- RAFAEL: Yes, exactly! And I'm taking care of things for my family! You're on a plane with Mateo and the plane loses cabin pressure and the oxygen masks drop.
Who do you put the mask on first? Mateo, definitely Mateo, sir.
Trick question.
Never be on a plane with Mateo! - [GROANS.]
- [GROANS, CHUCKLES.]
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of unhappy fathers Why would she want to give birth in a kiddie pool? It's a birthing pool.
Educate yourself about home births before you start freaking out.
Fine.
I will look into this ridiculous home birth business.
LATIN NARRATOR: Which he did, for the record.
Well, my mind is officially closed.
Now I'm even more outraged about the idea of a home birth than I was before.
I forbid it.
You can't forbid it.
Well, I need to find a way to forbid it.
There's no point in talking to Darci; she's only gonna do - the opposite of what you say.
- [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
I just wish there was some way to convince her.
Five-minute heads up till your protoplasm scene, Rogelio.
Ooh, looks like someone is plotting something.
Which makes sense.
This is a telenovela, after all.
I need help, please.
The hotel is so hard to sell, and I'm all alone, Rose.
I miss you so much, and I can't even put up a picture of you.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I'll remind you, she's speaking with her crime lord girlfriend who is currently in prison.
I swear to God, sometimes it feels like I'm the one in prison.
[SIGHS.]
Yeah, okay, okay.
Yes, okay, yes.
That was insensitive.
I'm sorry.
Can we please not fight? Okay.
I love you.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
We need to talk.
Um, did Anezka get Petra to sign the papers? No, n-not yet.
Then we don't.
We are renegotiating our piece of the deal.
[SCOFFS.]
Like hell we are.
[CHUCKLES.]
You do not want to cross me.
Oh, please.
I'm not scared of you, lady.
I was dating an international crime lord.
You killed two people.
She started a war in Ukraine with Paul Manafort.
There's no renegotiation.
And stop showing kids your eye hole! It's gross.
I feel terrible.
We both do.
You should.
But you know what? You were being pretty awful to Adam.
No, I wasn't.
You were grilling him, not getting to know him.
Because I want to make sure my kid is safe.
Fine.
If it'll make you feel better, I'll make sure that Mateo's never alone with Adam.
- Does that resolve your concern? - Yeah, okay, fine.
And how about you and Adam? I'll be cordial with him.
But it doesn't mean I like the guy.
Me, neither.
Mateo.
What? If Daddy hates Adam, I hate Adam.
He's a stupid fartface! "Fartface" is not a nice word, young man.
You're on a time-out.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Honestly, I thought it was funny, but, man, Jane was pissed.
Don't worry, I will fix this.
How? I'll just act like I like him.
Mateo will see through it.
You three need to go somewhere and bond, without me.
How about a baseball game? That is not necessary.
Okay? Just invite Adam over, we'll act cool, and over time, he'll forget this ever happened.
Adam is important to me, and he's sticking around.
I know.
Just give me two weeks.
If it doesn't work, then we'll do your baseball thing.
Which brings us to - - Have fun at the baseball game.
Hey, before we go, I finished your book.
It was really good.
Oh JANE: Uh, "Really good"? "Really good" is what I told the publisher about the cover that I hated.
Look.
Romance novels probably just aren't his thing.
Plus, art is subjective.
Trust me.
It's not like I think everything your dad does is genius.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Well, someone has high standards.
So what's happening with the book cover? Well, I just got another version a few days ago.
So now I have three choices.
Yikes.
I'm no artist, but - these suck.
- I know.
And apparently, that's their final offer.
So which do you hate the least? One, two or UMPIRE: Strike three.
You're out! - ADAM: This is fun.
- RAFAEL: Yeah, it's so much fun.
- I'm bored.
- LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Me, too.
Nine innings? It should be three, tops.
We just got here, buddy.
Give it a chance.
Hey, Mateo.
Did you know that I work with a lot of superheroes? Yeah.
And I think that you might have some powers.
- Me? - Let me test it.
One thing that superheroes can do is manipulate time.
You see that scoreboard? Okay.
Squeeze your eyes really tight.
Okay, that's how you freeze time.
[GASPS.]
Mateo, oh, my God.
Look at the scoreboard.
It didn't change.
You did, dude.
- You froze time! - I'm a real superhero.
DIRECTOR: Less like Superman, more like sperm.
Good note.
[GRUNTING.]
And cut! What an amazing performance.
No one can do sperm like you.
I'm so glad we went with your script changes.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow.
Rogelio is really buttering him up.
It's so great when someone can admit that another idea is way, way better than his own.
Isn't it? And since we're talking about the greater good, would you consider helping talk Darci into giving birth in the Ricky Martin Celebrity Birthing Suite? Ah, now I get it.
Look, Esteban, this isn't about me or you.
It's about a safe birth.
I've been doing a lot of research on home births, and it's dangerous at Darci's age.
Thirty-two? Sure.
It just gets dicey over 28.
Please, Esteban.
I just want what's best for both of them.
Darci won't listen to me, but she will listen to you.
We're ready for you, Rogelio.
[GROWLING, GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[SHOUTING.]
Ooh, cotton candy! Can I get some? Oh, you're gonna have to ask your dad, dude.
Oh, shoot, he's on the move.
Hey, I'm gonna need your help, Mateo.
Could you use your time-freezing powers to help me catch him? I'm like Wonder Woman, Daddy.
[CHUCKLES.]
[PHONE CHIMING.]
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Uh, who's Tara? Uh-oh.
Looks like somebody wants to get to second base.
One, two, three, freeze.
Ha! I'm getting a gummy worm.
[LAUGHS.]
Thank you for going.
It seems like Mateo finally warmed up to him.
Yeah.
Uh, what's with the face? Can we talk? DARCI: We got to talk, right now.
And I am going to try to stay calm, because seething rage is never good for a fetus.
- I agree with you.
- Wonderful! In the future, if you don't agree with me, let's discuss it one-on-one, instead of you trying to trick my lover into talking me out of my choice.
I'm not sure what Rogelio, I am three days overdue; don't mess with me.
I'm giving birth in a tranquil tub, with jazz music, my beloved Esteban, and our doula Sequoia by my side, whether you like it or not.
What if something goes wrong? Then we'll drive the 17 minutes to the hospital, where my O.
B.
will be ready for us.
I'm not stupid.
I have a contingency plan.
But I want to try to do this my way.
I've been waiting almost 32 years [COUGHS.]
I want to experience the magic of natural childbirth.
What if we take Sequoia and the tub to the hospital? No! I'll chicken out, I'll get an epidural, and I really want to feel every moment of this amazing experience! - It's not just about you.
- XIOMARA: Yes, it is.
Sorry.
But it is all about her right now.
It's her body, and she has the right to choose how she wants to give birth.
- Thank you, Xo.
- Of course.
And really, anything you need.
Actually, I wouldn't mind having the baby here.
Nice big room, even closer to a hospital just in case.
Plus, way less mess at my place.
ADAM: You look tense.
Yeah, well, there's no easy way to say this.
But Raf caught a glimpse of your phone and saw text messages from somebody named Tara.
- Oh.
- And her boobs.
And it's okay.
I mean, we haven't had the "are we exclusive" talk yet.
Of course we're exclusive.
And, um this is probably gonna ruin the surprise a little bit, but Tara was helping me with a project.
For you.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
[WHISPERS.]
: Oh, wow.
[LAUGHS.]
I, uh, I designed it.
Um, Tara is the printer that I use.
I just thought you would like to see what it would look like in real life.
We went back and forth a few times, notes on the boobs.
Hence the text.
It's amazing.
I thought you didn't even like my book.
What? I-I said it was really good.
Exactly.
That's all you said.
Well, I-I'm more of a visual person, not a words person.
I guess this is what I thought of it.
I love this.
Oh, wow, that woman's cleavage is perfect.
I am so sorry for jumping to the worst conclusion.
- It's okay.
- Not really.
But I guess that's what you're signing up for.
My whole messy life.
My nosy baby daddy and my overprotective grandma.
A kid.
Now are you panicking? Not a chance.
KATHERINE: Mmm, I'm all in.
Are you? Are you? You know I'm crazy about you.
I just don't want to misunderstand the nature of our relationship.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You mean that it's a mutually beneficial business arrangement? Because I've had enough flings since my divorce.
So, I'm looking for something more serious now.
So if that's not what you want We are on the same page.
Great.
[LAUGHS.]
So, can I meet your kids? I mean yeah, I would love that.
Hmm.
Oh, it's just that Jane has this really strict three month rule, and if I push back at all, she turns into a full-blown rageaholic.
Which brings us to our little rageaholic.
- It's fine.
It happens to everybody.
- Don't sweat it, okay? So you're Jane.
Hello, Katherine.
What can I do for you? Look, I'm a straight shooter.
So I wanted to officially introduce myself since I'm gonna be a part of Rafael's life.
And his kids' lives.
What? Yeah.
He wants to introduce me to them.
And just so you know, I'm not afraid of your temper.
- Excuse me? - I get it, you're a rageaholic.
Well, I can throw down, too.
And I'm in this for the long haul, sweetie.
The Cortes group is a few weeks away from buying this hotel, which makes me not only Raf's girlfriend, but also your future boss.
[CHUCKLES.]
XIOMARA: Are you hearing this? [ESTEBAN AND DARCI MOANING.]
They're trying to induce.
[LOUD MOANING CONTINUES.]
Look I'm sorry for siding with Darci.
I should have talked with you about it privately.
It's fine.
Then-then what's going on? I mean, you've been upset all day.
Are you gonna make me ask you three times in a row? What? I don't do that.
What's wrong? Nothing.
- Are you sure there's nothing's wrong? - Yes.
Are you really sure there's nothing wrong? Okay, the thing is that you're right.
It's Darci's choice on how she wants to give birth.
But this is the first big decision about our child, and she and Esteban edged me out.
And I'm afraid this is the first of many series of thing they're gonna edge me out of.
And I already missed out on Jane's birth and all of her "firsts", and I don't that to happen again.
DARCI: Yes, baby! Make it happen! I'm sorry, Ro.
Oh, no, no, don't feel bad.
This is why I didn't want to say anything.
What happened with Jane is in the past.
This time, I need to be there from the beginning.
And at this rate, I'm gonna be on the sidelines for all of it.
Darci and Esteban will be that stars of the play and I will be the stagehand.
And everyone knows that stagehands are losers.
Here's your water.
Oh, thank you, Rudy.
Okay, listen.
I'm glad I know what you're worried about, because now we can make sure that doesn't happen.
I'm coming to this birth with you, and I'm gonna make sure that you're just as much a part of it - as Esteban.
- ESTEBAN: I did it! I broke her water! We're in labor! [WHOOPS, LAUGHS.]
[SCREAMS.]
You got this, Mushy.
You can do it.
Yes, keep breathing.
See? You're just as much a part of this as Esteban.
- Okay, let's do this.
- [DARCI WAILS.]
ESTEBAN: Just like we practiced.
[PANTING.]
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of mama drama What is it now, Mother? I know Katherine is cover for Rafael.
He's actually the one buying the hotel.
Yeah.
And I will tell Dr.
Luisa right now unless you agree to give us ten percent.
And not Czech ten percent, American ten percent.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And in that moment, Petra found herself caught between a Czech and a hard place.
Okay.
Ten percent.
With the following conditions.
The day the deal closes, you two have to go back to the Czech Republic.
I'll pay you monthly.
And if you ever step foot in the U.
S.
again, payments stop.
Deal.
What's happening with the Katherine deal? Well, I thought you didn't want me to see Katherine anymore.
Well, the calculation's changed.
Magda knows we're behind it.
Look, if Luisa finds out you're involved, she'll never trust another outside investor.
This is the only chance we have.
- And we need to move quickly.
- RAFAEL: Hmm.
Well, I guess morals only take you so far, huh? Well, you already slept with her.
Might as well close the deal.
Once you throw out the line, catch the freakin' fish.
Uh-oh.
What's wrong? Just a little annoyed.
I mean, I-I wouldn't say that I'm in a rage.
Oh.
Katherine called? Oh, no, no.
She didn't call.
She came and confronted me.
I'm really sorry.
I panicked.
I knew you wouldn't want her to meet Mateo, but I didn't want to drive her away.
Rafael! Can you even hear yourself? You're obviously using her.
And she told me she's in it for the long haul.
- She'll be fine.
- What are you even doing? I'm trying to get my life back, Jane! I need to get my life back.
My money, my hotel.
That is not your life.
You have these great kids.
Mateo worships the ground that you walk on.
And if you continue to date somebody that you don't even like, he will pick up on it.
He picks up on everything.
Take a step back.
Look at the big picture everything you do have.
[WHISPERS.]
: Yeah.
[SIGHS.]
Abuela is taking me to get my cast off soon.
You still good to watch Mateo? I actually have a meeting.
I was thinking maybe Adam could watch him? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow, she really did turn him around.
The baby's turned around.
- [SCREAMS.]
- She's sunny side up, and that's why it hurts so much.
She needs water! Get her water! [DARCI SCREAMING.]
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ugh, I wish we could time warp this.
I can't do this anymore.
I quit.
I want to go to the hospital.
- I need a freakin' epidural! - No.
No, you don't.
I believe in you.
- Just push, Mush! - [MOUTHING.]
Get in there.
I didn't mean literally.
You can do this, Darci! You've got this! You wanted to be in control of the birth then take control, damn it! You said you wanted to feel the magic of a natural childbirth because you've been waiting for this for your whole life! All 32 years! So keep going.
Push! Push! Yes, Mushy! What he said.
Push! - Push! - [SCREAMING.]
[GASPS.]
[PANTING.]
ROGELIO: We did it! We did it.
You know, you guys could have worn swimsuits.
Darci had a baby.
I have a little sister! Yay! Hey, hey, hey, congratulations.
Mateo and I came up with a little special celebration for you getting your cast off, but I guess it's a double celebration now.
You want to go show her? We made our own moves up.
Let's do the Time Warp again It's just a jump to the left [JANE LAUGHS.]
And then a step to the right Put your hands on your hips You bring your knees in tight But it's the pelvic thrust - - That really drives you insane Let's do the Time Warp again Let's do the Time Warp again [LAUGHS.]
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Okay, it's a really long song, so, let's time warp through this "Time Warp.
" Thank you so much.
Can I talk to you for a minute? Oh, yeah, of course, buddy.
Let's sit on the porch swing.
That's where Mommy has all her big talks.
- Okay.
- [CHUCKLES.]
All right, what's on your mind, Mateo? Well, just about my mommy.
After Michael died, she cried for a really long time.
You know about Michael? Well, sometimes she still cries.
So don't hurt her feelings and don't die, okay? Yeah, you got it, buddy.
ROGELIO: This is the perfect child.
Have you ever seen such perfect toes? Who knew toes could be so adorable? Thank you for telling me to get in the tub.
I really needed that push.
XIOMARA: This is one lucky baby.
She doesn't know it yet, but she has the best father in the world.
JANE [LAUGHS.]
: Aw! I can't believe I have a sister.
[CHUCKLES.]
We can see her tomorrow.
Oh, and I heard from the publisher.
They approved your cover.
How cool is that? - So cool.
- Right? [SIGHS.]
- Jane? - Hmm, yeah? I'm panicking.
KATHERINE: I wasn't expecting this.
Well, I wanted to make sure it was clear where I stand.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hello.
ALL: Hello.
Hello.
My name's Carl.
Rose sent me to help you get the money quicker.
[INHALER PUFFS.]
Really? [GASPS.]
What did she say? What what should we do? We need to collect the insurance on this hotel.
How? We're gonna burn this place to the ground.
LATIN NARRATOR: Okay, now I'm panicking.