Little Mosque on the Prairie (2007) s04e03 Episode Script
What's Yours Is Mine
( ) Dad.
Good, there you are.
Ta-da! Hamoudi cakes.
They're called pancakes.
Yeah, but remember when you were little? I used to make them for you when you used to go to Math-a-Magics Club.
Right.
Brain food, you called it.
No, the syrup was the brain food.
The Hamoudi cakes were just carbs.
But they worked, and you grew up To be a big, smart doctor.
- Milk? - No.
Thanks.
Uh, look I've been thinking a lot About the house that you bought for JJ and me.
It's a shame it's still empty.
The only shame is that your tummy's still empty.
Well, I was thinking I could live there.
Heh.
You're making no sense, darling.
- You live here.
- No, I mean I want to move out.
Yeah, but if we moved out, who would live here? You and mom would stay! I would move out.
Okay I think I know what's going on.
Yeah! I just I the need space so I can figure out who I am You're delusional with hunger! Quick, eat, little yobi! Hamoudi cakies! Dad, I'm a grown woman and you're treating me like a child.
Nobody's treating you like a child.
Rayyan, I washed and folded your underpants, and put them in your drawer.
Ohh, smudge! (spitting) There O-okay.
I am moving out.
This is your fault.
My fault? What did I? (gasp) Ooh! Hamoudi cakes! ( ) Season 4 Episode 3 What's Yours is Mine Fred: (on radio) Preacher watch, day 12.
I tell you, folks, the town is a-twitter.
I'm beginning to wonder, Is there anyone in Mercy Who doesn't love Reverend Thorne, The new man in black? (clicks off) "The Quran tells us "to practice regular charity.
"But it isn't a duty.
It's an opportunity.
" Talking to yourself, Amaar? No.
Busy.
Working on my sermon.
Oh! Oh, I envy you.
I finished my sermon hours ago and now I'm bored.
What do you do in this town when you're bored? I wouldn't know because I'm busy.
Back in Toronto, I'd just walk for hours across town.
That kills about five minutes here.
Both ways.
Hey! Maybe I could help with your sermon.
Thanks, but I'm not really sure Oh, I get it.
I get it, I get it.
The Christian could never understand your Muslim world.
No, that's not it.
Good.
Look, I know we've had our differences, But for me, oh, sermons are my life.
They used to call me "The Sermonator".
All right.
I'm working on one about charity.
Great! Charity! Give, give, give! Let's see "Because only in giving do we receive the blessing of Allan.
" Allah.
- Oh, that's an "h".
- "h".
Right, right.
Yes.
"Only in letting go "do we find something to hold on to.
"only in lifting up others do we raise ourselves up.
" Ehh You don't like it.
Yeah, well, hey, You know this farmer crowd better than I do.
Maybe they need the nap time.
- Thanks for stopping by.
- No, no, look, You're obviously very, uh, gifted.
It's just, this just feels I don't know Written? That's 'cause I wrote it.
- Wordy? - That's because I used words.
- Dull? - That - Because - Yeah You know, you should toss this and Ugh, you should let the words flow, you know? Improvise.
I can't improvise.
Come on.
A sermon is like a flower.
It needs the water of contemplation, the sunshine of inspiration, The Fertilizer of dedication.
And you said you couldn't improvise.
That was beautiful! Oh! Inspired! Off the cuff.
You, my friend, have a gift.
Don't hide it.
That was pretty good, wasn't it? ( ) A woman Living on her own? I-impossible! Who ever heard of such a thing? Everybody.
Name one.
Bunny West, Mae Wagman, Clara Hill I said name one.
I cannot have her living on her own.
People will think she's a wanton woman.
When you met me I was on my own.
That's was different.
You actually were wanton.
And what were you wantin'? Don't change the subject.
This is our daughter we're speaking of.
And this is a great shame upon me! She is slapping me in the face in front of the whole community.
Oh, you're being melodramatic.
I would rather she took a knife, stuck it in my chest, took another knife, ugh! Stuck it in my back, took a third knife, stuck it in my ear.
Oh! She's going to need cutlery.
Look, no she's not.
She's not moving out.
I forbid it.
You know, every time you forbid Rayyan something, she always wants to do it more.
Then I forbid her to stay.
Problem solved.
She just wants control over her life, to stand on her own two feet.
And the house is available.
Oh Then all I have to do is make the house unavailable.
Thank you.
(kiss) Wha I was wanton? Yeah Maybe that one time.
( ) Your sermon was truly one of a kind.
Oh, thank you, Baber.
And the kind was terrible.
What is wrong with you? Are you shooting the crack? You smoke crack.
No, you do.
Normally your delivery is not terrible, just your ideas.
And what is all this flower talk? Ah! There's the improv imam! How'd it go? Did you kill 'em? Oh, he certainly tried to.
He almost confused us to death.
It wasn't that bad.
It was dull, rambling, and the ending made no sense.
It was like watching a Canadian film.
Oh.
Well, you can't always be brilliant.
Reverend, you are always so brilliant.
What a sermon! It's all thanks to a power greater than myself.
"Only in giving - do we receive God's blessing.
" - yeah.
I'm going to tell everyone how inspired you are! Oh, don't just tell them, Bring them next Sunday! Yes.
There's more than enough inspiration for everyone.
Oh, and sometimes, cake.
Oh! (chuckling) (chuckling) You delivered my sermon on charity? I delivered a sermon on charity.
That's a coincidence.
Well, what some call coincidence, others call divine will.
What some call divine will, Others call my sermon! And I had to wing up a new one thanks to your advice.
I am so sorry.
I guess I overestimated your abilities.
Whoopsie.
You know, feel free to take my charity sermon and make it your own, okay? Heh.
Hi.
Make it my own? It is my own! (cutlery clattering) Why do I need so many knives? Well, your father will explain.
Honey Are you sure you want to move out? You moved out when you were 17.
You travelled around the world.
I thought you, of all people, would understand.
I do understand, but I also understand your father.
Then can you translate? Because I don't speak irrational father.
What is wrong with him? Well, he's never had a daughter move out before.
He has no idea why you'd want to leave.
Because I'm an adult.
See, but in his mind, An unmarried girl on her own means Her father doesn't love her.
But he does love me! He over-loves me! He loves me to death! Tell me about it.
But honey, it's just, it's so long and painful for him to spend the next month watching you pack.
I should make it quick then.
Rip that band-aid right off.
What band-aid? There's a band-aid? Thanks for the advice, mom.
W-w-what advice? T-there's advice now? Amaar: So, through charity, though we empty our pockets, We fill our hearts.
Trans "Translating good thoughts into good deeds.
" We know, we know.
You have taken Thorne's words and claimed them as your own.
Is this some sort of joke? This is no joke.
This is a coincidence wrapped in a lie wrapped in the Mercy "Chronicle".
Nate printed it in the paper.
Apparently some holy men take pride in their work.
This is my sermon! Thorne stole it from me! First you steal, now you gossip.
- I'll kill him.
- Huh? Now murder? Astaghfillurallah! ( ) Thanks to you, Everyone thinks I stole my own sermon.
Well, that's silly.
Why would you steal your own sermon? - I wouldn't! - Then what's the problem? It's good publicity.
Integrity is our moral compass along God's path.
It is not what we profess, but what we practice that keeps us from going astray.
Compass, path You You really paint a picture.
I've never thought of it that way.
Well, you should.
And I will.
I promise.
Good.
See that you do.
Good.
Oh, and if there's anything more you want, please remember, my door is always open.
Hm.
Hello, darling.
Look, dad, before you freak out, - Yes.
- I just want you to know, - I have made up my mind.
- Yes.
And I am moving today.
Naturally, it saddens me that my only daughter has decided to turn her back on her family, but if it must be, - it must be.
- So you're not mad? Of course not.
Wow! (kiss) Thanks, dad! You're taking this so much better than I ever hoped.
- Off you go.
- Okay.
- Watch your fingers.
- Uh-huh.
(engine igniting) Bye-bye, honey! (reverse signal beeping) Have fun! Enjoy your new life! Ah-h - Isn't it terrible, - Yasir? Our baby bird has grown up and swum away.
Yeah, well, she won't swum far, My little metaphor-mixing beauty.
- Hmm.
- She won't swum far.
( ) (reverse signal beeping) Since when have you started printing sermons in your paper? Since the Mercy midgets' baseball season ended.
And now you print my sermon under Thorne's name.
Thorne stole your sermon? After he tricked me into improvising a bad sermon.
- You must be mad.
- I am.
Mad enough to March over there and cause a really big public scene? Slow news day? What do you think? I'm buying an owl.
(sigh) You know what? Just forget about it.
It's not a big deal and At least it's over.
And then Reverend Thorne told me that integrity is our moral compass along the path to God.
Oh! That man is like Gandhi! - But not so skinny.
- Mm-hmm.
That's my quote! He did it again! Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me! Didn't Thorne fool you three times? That means it's shame on him again.
You know what? From now on, the gloves are off.
No more Mr.
Nice Imam! - Three steaks? - Yes.
You, me, our darling daughter makes three.
But this is her first night away from home.
I am sure that she is not going to be coming back to How could you? Ah! Could you set a place for the prodigal daughter? - How could you? - How could he what? My father, your husband, put the house up for sale! How could you? My house.
I can do whatever I want with it.
(tongs clacking) Excuse me.
It's my house! You gave it to me.
As a wedding gift.
If you have another wedding, you can have it back.
Till then, you are family.
(tongs clacking) Family lives with family.
That's the way it's been for generations.
Why on earth would she move back in here after this little stunt? Because I am her father! And 'cause she has nowhere else to go.
Well, think again.
No one tells me to think again in my own home! - I just did.
- Yasir: Don't be foolish.
It's not as if you're going to go live in the truck! It's exactly like that! I'm going to live in the truck rather than spend one more night under this roof.
- No offence, mom.
- None taken.
Do not open that door.
Do not walk down that path! Do not you get in that truck! - Oh, she's bluffing.
- No The next sound you hear Is going to be of our daughter apologizing.
(engine igniting) (reverse signal beeping) How could she? Amaar: I don't get it.
I'm nice.
I'm reasonable.
It's the way I'm built.
But what good does it do me? Don't you wish your mother was here, Amaar? What? Why? Because she would love you enough to care.
Salaam alaikum, Fatima.
Walaikum asalaam.
What are you doing here? This is my dining room now.
The rest of my home is parked right outside.
Don't you wish your mother was here, Rayyan? It's a trap.
I feel so betrayed.
I know what you mean.
It's like the last refuge you had on earth has been torn away from you by the people you trusted the most.
I was accused of stealing my own sermon.
Wow.
Poor you.
- Are you living in your truck? - What? No.
Then there's no comparison.
You can always write another sermon.
If I wrote another sermon, Thorne would just steal it anyway.
(fingers snapping) Rayyan, Thank you.
You are a genius when you're homeless.
I know what I'd do if I were a rich doctor.
Buy the house yourself? I was going to say cover the bed in c notes and roll around naked, but sure, that works too.
- My dad would never sell me the house.
- Mmm.
Unless Somebody else bought it for me.
All right, But I'm going to need more of these.
Well I can give you two more refills of these, But These are for horses.
(clicking tongue) Giddy-up.
Yasir: You've got your custom cabinetry.
The entire house has been redone In In In places.
- I'll take it.
- Pot lights throughout.
Completely rewired.
- Low flow toilets.
- I'll take it.
Don't you at least want to haggle? Fine.
Can I pay you less? Less? The price is already a bargain! You win.
Haggling's done.
I'll take it.
Tell me something, mayor.
Why does someone who owns the biggest house in Mercy want to move here? Are you selling your other place? Are you kidding? I love my place! So why are you buying this one? For My mother.
Your mother's dead.
For her ashes.
She wasn't cremated.
No, but she smoked a lot.
Did Rayyan put you up to this? (frustrated growl) Code purple, Code purple! The duchess has eaten the dragon.
What did you give me? I'm really flying! (laughing) I know this is you, Rayyan.
(truck's reverse signal heard on phone) ( ) Amaar: (reading) "And, in conclusion, it breeds small minds.
" (loudly) Finally, finished my new sermon.
There.
Finito! Finito? Finito what? What have you finito'd? (sigh) - What are you doing here? - Looking for you.
I am the new head of the imam review board.
There is no imam review board.
- I just started it.
- Can we discuss this later? I was really hoping Thorne was around - Because - Because why, Amaar? Hi.
Reverend Thorne.
Ahem.
You have got some quiet shoes there.
Yes.
Back in seminary, I was known as the holy ghost.
(forced laugh) You were saying? Just that I finished my new sermon.
- Oh! Oh, oh, oh! - But forget it.
Maybe you should let the sermonator have a look-see.
Well, it's a little unorthodox, although it is some of my best work.
Come on.
You know you want to.
Okay.
In the spirit of sharing, it's right there on my desk.
- Ah.
- Help yourself.
I will definitely do that.
(to himself) All right, sermonator, Prepare to get "sermonated".
( ) Well, Joe, everything seems to be in order.
The house is yours.
Wow.
Somebody pinch me.
Who thought I'd be living in a home with no wheels? Ha-ha.
Yeah.
Tornado season will never be the same again.
Oh Well, my little snap pea, that is most definitely that.
Oh no, Yasir, you didn't! Oh, but I did.
Before you know it, our daughter will be walking right back through that door.
Oh, I can't believe it.
You are such a Visionary.
- Genius.
- Dope! Our daughter belongs at home.
Now What choice does she have? She has no choice.
She is choice-less.
Well, genius, have you ever thought she could just leave town? What an idiot! (gasping) Breathe.
(organ ) Ahem.
Hey, Amaar.
Muslim in a church.
What are you doing here? I could ask you the same thing.
Are you kidding? Chicks, my friendly.
I'm not here for the hymns I'm here for the "hers".
It's church.
Yeah, what can I say? Meet a lot of hot numbers in church If you don't mind the smell of lavender and cough drops.
(tongue click) Okay, first of all, ew.
Secondly, I'm here for the sermon.
Mm.
Smart move.
You could pick up a lot from the Thorne dog.
Huh.
I think you'll find he's picked a little something up from me.
Brothers and sisters, Let us talk honestly (mouthing silently) about the town of Mercy.
Here it comes.
It is so full of wonderful friends, open hearts, and unexpected joys.
It is not! Way to cramp my style.
(clearing throat) Shall we continue? (sheepish chuckle) Rev.
Thorne: Thank you.
Is, um, this seat taken, miss? Why, do you want to sell that too? I don't blame you for being mad.
I I was unreasonable.
And selfish.
And scheming.
And underhanded.
I can't believe you sold it! - I can't believe you already heard.
- Please.
It's on the front page.
Huh.
So, I guess that means you're going to be leaving town.
Dad, I'll move home.
Really? You won't move away? Why would I move away? The only place I wanted to live is gone.
- Really? - Yeah.
That was our house.
You and I worked on it, we sweated over it.
That was ours.
Yeah Well I guess I'll see you tonight at home.
(kisses) Thank you.
Say, uh, I couldn't help overhearing.
Well, I could, but I didn't.
So, you want to buy your house back.
You'd sell it? No, I'd flip it.
5% hike.
Joe, that's highway robbery! We're nowhere near a highway.
This is extortion.
- Deal.
- Oh, yes! Thank goodness 'cause I couldn't stand another night in that place.
What? Oh, it's too big city for me.
Doesn't sway in the wind.
I don't have to empty my toilet.
It's like I'm living a lie.
Huh! You're a complicated man, Joe.
Thanks.
( ) Thanks, Greg.
See you next week.
Pray for sun.
Amaar! What a pleasant surprise.
Have we Anglicans finally won you over? You didn't steal my sermon.
Of course not.
You see, in my religion, stealing is a sin.
Yes, we have ten commandments and zero suicide bombers.
But you took it.
And I read it.
Well, I think everyone read it.
I mean, front page! You bumped the wheat prices.
Congratulations.
You were so eager to share it with everyone, So, uh Oh, don't worry, I gave you full credit.
"Mercy, breeding ground of hypocrisy"? You printed my sermon! A lovely sermon again, Reverend.
It is so true, we do need to be more tolerant of others.
"Small towns breed small minds" indeed.
Mrs.
Hobbs Ooh, she didn't like that.
Must be her small mind.
- This isn't happening! - Yes it is! You know, Amaar, it's like I always say, integrity is the compass that guides us along God's path.
Trick knee, huh? What kind of trick? (lusty chuckle) What's this? A little gift from me to you.
- Dad? - The key? The key! You gave her the key.
That's wonderful.
Shutting up.
There is a house that goes around it, but I couldn't find a box big enough.
You're giving me the house? Well, I know it meant so much to you, and I've never been able oo refuse my little girl anything.
Dad, you are so sweet.
please stop calling me a little girl.
Never.
Well, that's that then.
Yeah, that's that.
- Where's the deed? - Oh, that I keep.
I can't let you move out from under my roof, So this is my other roof.
You drive a hard bargain.
Big hug! Oh (giggling) Ooh.
You guys are going to have to let me go at some point.
No chance.
(chuckles) (groaning) You're squishing me! (laughing) Dad! Ow! Subtitle by: Kiasuseven
Good, there you are.
Ta-da! Hamoudi cakes.
They're called pancakes.
Yeah, but remember when you were little? I used to make them for you when you used to go to Math-a-Magics Club.
Right.
Brain food, you called it.
No, the syrup was the brain food.
The Hamoudi cakes were just carbs.
But they worked, and you grew up To be a big, smart doctor.
- Milk? - No.
Thanks.
Uh, look I've been thinking a lot About the house that you bought for JJ and me.
It's a shame it's still empty.
The only shame is that your tummy's still empty.
Well, I was thinking I could live there.
Heh.
You're making no sense, darling.
- You live here.
- No, I mean I want to move out.
Yeah, but if we moved out, who would live here? You and mom would stay! I would move out.
Okay I think I know what's going on.
Yeah! I just I the need space so I can figure out who I am You're delusional with hunger! Quick, eat, little yobi! Hamoudi cakies! Dad, I'm a grown woman and you're treating me like a child.
Nobody's treating you like a child.
Rayyan, I washed and folded your underpants, and put them in your drawer.
Ohh, smudge! (spitting) There O-okay.
I am moving out.
This is your fault.
My fault? What did I? (gasp) Ooh! Hamoudi cakes! ( ) Season 4 Episode 3 What's Yours is Mine Fred: (on radio) Preacher watch, day 12.
I tell you, folks, the town is a-twitter.
I'm beginning to wonder, Is there anyone in Mercy Who doesn't love Reverend Thorne, The new man in black? (clicks off) "The Quran tells us "to practice regular charity.
"But it isn't a duty.
It's an opportunity.
" Talking to yourself, Amaar? No.
Busy.
Working on my sermon.
Oh! Oh, I envy you.
I finished my sermon hours ago and now I'm bored.
What do you do in this town when you're bored? I wouldn't know because I'm busy.
Back in Toronto, I'd just walk for hours across town.
That kills about five minutes here.
Both ways.
Hey! Maybe I could help with your sermon.
Thanks, but I'm not really sure Oh, I get it.
I get it, I get it.
The Christian could never understand your Muslim world.
No, that's not it.
Good.
Look, I know we've had our differences, But for me, oh, sermons are my life.
They used to call me "The Sermonator".
All right.
I'm working on one about charity.
Great! Charity! Give, give, give! Let's see "Because only in giving do we receive the blessing of Allan.
" Allah.
- Oh, that's an "h".
- "h".
Right, right.
Yes.
"Only in letting go "do we find something to hold on to.
"only in lifting up others do we raise ourselves up.
" Ehh You don't like it.
Yeah, well, hey, You know this farmer crowd better than I do.
Maybe they need the nap time.
- Thanks for stopping by.
- No, no, look, You're obviously very, uh, gifted.
It's just, this just feels I don't know Written? That's 'cause I wrote it.
- Wordy? - That's because I used words.
- Dull? - That - Because - Yeah You know, you should toss this and Ugh, you should let the words flow, you know? Improvise.
I can't improvise.
Come on.
A sermon is like a flower.
It needs the water of contemplation, the sunshine of inspiration, The Fertilizer of dedication.
And you said you couldn't improvise.
That was beautiful! Oh! Inspired! Off the cuff.
You, my friend, have a gift.
Don't hide it.
That was pretty good, wasn't it? ( ) A woman Living on her own? I-impossible! Who ever heard of such a thing? Everybody.
Name one.
Bunny West, Mae Wagman, Clara Hill I said name one.
I cannot have her living on her own.
People will think she's a wanton woman.
When you met me I was on my own.
That's was different.
You actually were wanton.
And what were you wantin'? Don't change the subject.
This is our daughter we're speaking of.
And this is a great shame upon me! She is slapping me in the face in front of the whole community.
Oh, you're being melodramatic.
I would rather she took a knife, stuck it in my chest, took another knife, ugh! Stuck it in my back, took a third knife, stuck it in my ear.
Oh! She's going to need cutlery.
Look, no she's not.
She's not moving out.
I forbid it.
You know, every time you forbid Rayyan something, she always wants to do it more.
Then I forbid her to stay.
Problem solved.
She just wants control over her life, to stand on her own two feet.
And the house is available.
Oh Then all I have to do is make the house unavailable.
Thank you.
(kiss) Wha I was wanton? Yeah Maybe that one time.
( ) Your sermon was truly one of a kind.
Oh, thank you, Baber.
And the kind was terrible.
What is wrong with you? Are you shooting the crack? You smoke crack.
No, you do.
Normally your delivery is not terrible, just your ideas.
And what is all this flower talk? Ah! There's the improv imam! How'd it go? Did you kill 'em? Oh, he certainly tried to.
He almost confused us to death.
It wasn't that bad.
It was dull, rambling, and the ending made no sense.
It was like watching a Canadian film.
Oh.
Well, you can't always be brilliant.
Reverend, you are always so brilliant.
What a sermon! It's all thanks to a power greater than myself.
"Only in giving - do we receive God's blessing.
" - yeah.
I'm going to tell everyone how inspired you are! Oh, don't just tell them, Bring them next Sunday! Yes.
There's more than enough inspiration for everyone.
Oh, and sometimes, cake.
Oh! (chuckling) (chuckling) You delivered my sermon on charity? I delivered a sermon on charity.
That's a coincidence.
Well, what some call coincidence, others call divine will.
What some call divine will, Others call my sermon! And I had to wing up a new one thanks to your advice.
I am so sorry.
I guess I overestimated your abilities.
Whoopsie.
You know, feel free to take my charity sermon and make it your own, okay? Heh.
Hi.
Make it my own? It is my own! (cutlery clattering) Why do I need so many knives? Well, your father will explain.
Honey Are you sure you want to move out? You moved out when you were 17.
You travelled around the world.
I thought you, of all people, would understand.
I do understand, but I also understand your father.
Then can you translate? Because I don't speak irrational father.
What is wrong with him? Well, he's never had a daughter move out before.
He has no idea why you'd want to leave.
Because I'm an adult.
See, but in his mind, An unmarried girl on her own means Her father doesn't love her.
But he does love me! He over-loves me! He loves me to death! Tell me about it.
But honey, it's just, it's so long and painful for him to spend the next month watching you pack.
I should make it quick then.
Rip that band-aid right off.
What band-aid? There's a band-aid? Thanks for the advice, mom.
W-w-what advice? T-there's advice now? Amaar: So, through charity, though we empty our pockets, We fill our hearts.
Trans "Translating good thoughts into good deeds.
" We know, we know.
You have taken Thorne's words and claimed them as your own.
Is this some sort of joke? This is no joke.
This is a coincidence wrapped in a lie wrapped in the Mercy "Chronicle".
Nate printed it in the paper.
Apparently some holy men take pride in their work.
This is my sermon! Thorne stole it from me! First you steal, now you gossip.
- I'll kill him.
- Huh? Now murder? Astaghfillurallah! ( ) Thanks to you, Everyone thinks I stole my own sermon.
Well, that's silly.
Why would you steal your own sermon? - I wouldn't! - Then what's the problem? It's good publicity.
Integrity is our moral compass along God's path.
It is not what we profess, but what we practice that keeps us from going astray.
Compass, path You You really paint a picture.
I've never thought of it that way.
Well, you should.
And I will.
I promise.
Good.
See that you do.
Good.
Oh, and if there's anything more you want, please remember, my door is always open.
Hm.
Hello, darling.
Look, dad, before you freak out, - Yes.
- I just want you to know, - I have made up my mind.
- Yes.
And I am moving today.
Naturally, it saddens me that my only daughter has decided to turn her back on her family, but if it must be, - it must be.
- So you're not mad? Of course not.
Wow! (kiss) Thanks, dad! You're taking this so much better than I ever hoped.
- Off you go.
- Okay.
- Watch your fingers.
- Uh-huh.
(engine igniting) Bye-bye, honey! (reverse signal beeping) Have fun! Enjoy your new life! Ah-h - Isn't it terrible, - Yasir? Our baby bird has grown up and swum away.
Yeah, well, she won't swum far, My little metaphor-mixing beauty.
- Hmm.
- She won't swum far.
( ) (reverse signal beeping) Since when have you started printing sermons in your paper? Since the Mercy midgets' baseball season ended.
And now you print my sermon under Thorne's name.
Thorne stole your sermon? After he tricked me into improvising a bad sermon.
- You must be mad.
- I am.
Mad enough to March over there and cause a really big public scene? Slow news day? What do you think? I'm buying an owl.
(sigh) You know what? Just forget about it.
It's not a big deal and At least it's over.
And then Reverend Thorne told me that integrity is our moral compass along the path to God.
Oh! That man is like Gandhi! - But not so skinny.
- Mm-hmm.
That's my quote! He did it again! Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me! Didn't Thorne fool you three times? That means it's shame on him again.
You know what? From now on, the gloves are off.
No more Mr.
Nice Imam! - Three steaks? - Yes.
You, me, our darling daughter makes three.
But this is her first night away from home.
I am sure that she is not going to be coming back to How could you? Ah! Could you set a place for the prodigal daughter? - How could you? - How could he what? My father, your husband, put the house up for sale! How could you? My house.
I can do whatever I want with it.
(tongs clacking) Excuse me.
It's my house! You gave it to me.
As a wedding gift.
If you have another wedding, you can have it back.
Till then, you are family.
(tongs clacking) Family lives with family.
That's the way it's been for generations.
Why on earth would she move back in here after this little stunt? Because I am her father! And 'cause she has nowhere else to go.
Well, think again.
No one tells me to think again in my own home! - I just did.
- Yasir: Don't be foolish.
It's not as if you're going to go live in the truck! It's exactly like that! I'm going to live in the truck rather than spend one more night under this roof.
- No offence, mom.
- None taken.
Do not open that door.
Do not walk down that path! Do not you get in that truck! - Oh, she's bluffing.
- No The next sound you hear Is going to be of our daughter apologizing.
(engine igniting) (reverse signal beeping) How could she? Amaar: I don't get it.
I'm nice.
I'm reasonable.
It's the way I'm built.
But what good does it do me? Don't you wish your mother was here, Amaar? What? Why? Because she would love you enough to care.
Salaam alaikum, Fatima.
Walaikum asalaam.
What are you doing here? This is my dining room now.
The rest of my home is parked right outside.
Don't you wish your mother was here, Rayyan? It's a trap.
I feel so betrayed.
I know what you mean.
It's like the last refuge you had on earth has been torn away from you by the people you trusted the most.
I was accused of stealing my own sermon.
Wow.
Poor you.
- Are you living in your truck? - What? No.
Then there's no comparison.
You can always write another sermon.
If I wrote another sermon, Thorne would just steal it anyway.
(fingers snapping) Rayyan, Thank you.
You are a genius when you're homeless.
I know what I'd do if I were a rich doctor.
Buy the house yourself? I was going to say cover the bed in c notes and roll around naked, but sure, that works too.
- My dad would never sell me the house.
- Mmm.
Unless Somebody else bought it for me.
All right, But I'm going to need more of these.
Well I can give you two more refills of these, But These are for horses.
(clicking tongue) Giddy-up.
Yasir: You've got your custom cabinetry.
The entire house has been redone In In In places.
- I'll take it.
- Pot lights throughout.
Completely rewired.
- Low flow toilets.
- I'll take it.
Don't you at least want to haggle? Fine.
Can I pay you less? Less? The price is already a bargain! You win.
Haggling's done.
I'll take it.
Tell me something, mayor.
Why does someone who owns the biggest house in Mercy want to move here? Are you selling your other place? Are you kidding? I love my place! So why are you buying this one? For My mother.
Your mother's dead.
For her ashes.
She wasn't cremated.
No, but she smoked a lot.
Did Rayyan put you up to this? (frustrated growl) Code purple, Code purple! The duchess has eaten the dragon.
What did you give me? I'm really flying! (laughing) I know this is you, Rayyan.
(truck's reverse signal heard on phone) ( ) Amaar: (reading) "And, in conclusion, it breeds small minds.
" (loudly) Finally, finished my new sermon.
There.
Finito! Finito? Finito what? What have you finito'd? (sigh) - What are you doing here? - Looking for you.
I am the new head of the imam review board.
There is no imam review board.
- I just started it.
- Can we discuss this later? I was really hoping Thorne was around - Because - Because why, Amaar? Hi.
Reverend Thorne.
Ahem.
You have got some quiet shoes there.
Yes.
Back in seminary, I was known as the holy ghost.
(forced laugh) You were saying? Just that I finished my new sermon.
- Oh! Oh, oh, oh! - But forget it.
Maybe you should let the sermonator have a look-see.
Well, it's a little unorthodox, although it is some of my best work.
Come on.
You know you want to.
Okay.
In the spirit of sharing, it's right there on my desk.
- Ah.
- Help yourself.
I will definitely do that.
(to himself) All right, sermonator, Prepare to get "sermonated".
( ) Well, Joe, everything seems to be in order.
The house is yours.
Wow.
Somebody pinch me.
Who thought I'd be living in a home with no wheels? Ha-ha.
Yeah.
Tornado season will never be the same again.
Oh Well, my little snap pea, that is most definitely that.
Oh no, Yasir, you didn't! Oh, but I did.
Before you know it, our daughter will be walking right back through that door.
Oh, I can't believe it.
You are such a Visionary.
- Genius.
- Dope! Our daughter belongs at home.
Now What choice does she have? She has no choice.
She is choice-less.
Well, genius, have you ever thought she could just leave town? What an idiot! (gasping) Breathe.
(organ ) Ahem.
Hey, Amaar.
Muslim in a church.
What are you doing here? I could ask you the same thing.
Are you kidding? Chicks, my friendly.
I'm not here for the hymns I'm here for the "hers".
It's church.
Yeah, what can I say? Meet a lot of hot numbers in church If you don't mind the smell of lavender and cough drops.
(tongue click) Okay, first of all, ew.
Secondly, I'm here for the sermon.
Mm.
Smart move.
You could pick up a lot from the Thorne dog.
Huh.
I think you'll find he's picked a little something up from me.
Brothers and sisters, Let us talk honestly (mouthing silently) about the town of Mercy.
Here it comes.
It is so full of wonderful friends, open hearts, and unexpected joys.
It is not! Way to cramp my style.
(clearing throat) Shall we continue? (sheepish chuckle) Rev.
Thorne: Thank you.
Is, um, this seat taken, miss? Why, do you want to sell that too? I don't blame you for being mad.
I I was unreasonable.
And selfish.
And scheming.
And underhanded.
I can't believe you sold it! - I can't believe you already heard.
- Please.
It's on the front page.
Huh.
So, I guess that means you're going to be leaving town.
Dad, I'll move home.
Really? You won't move away? Why would I move away? The only place I wanted to live is gone.
- Really? - Yeah.
That was our house.
You and I worked on it, we sweated over it.
That was ours.
Yeah Well I guess I'll see you tonight at home.
(kisses) Thank you.
Say, uh, I couldn't help overhearing.
Well, I could, but I didn't.
So, you want to buy your house back.
You'd sell it? No, I'd flip it.
5% hike.
Joe, that's highway robbery! We're nowhere near a highway.
This is extortion.
- Deal.
- Oh, yes! Thank goodness 'cause I couldn't stand another night in that place.
What? Oh, it's too big city for me.
Doesn't sway in the wind.
I don't have to empty my toilet.
It's like I'm living a lie.
Huh! You're a complicated man, Joe.
Thanks.
( ) Thanks, Greg.
See you next week.
Pray for sun.
Amaar! What a pleasant surprise.
Have we Anglicans finally won you over? You didn't steal my sermon.
Of course not.
You see, in my religion, stealing is a sin.
Yes, we have ten commandments and zero suicide bombers.
But you took it.
And I read it.
Well, I think everyone read it.
I mean, front page! You bumped the wheat prices.
Congratulations.
You were so eager to share it with everyone, So, uh Oh, don't worry, I gave you full credit.
"Mercy, breeding ground of hypocrisy"? You printed my sermon! A lovely sermon again, Reverend.
It is so true, we do need to be more tolerant of others.
"Small towns breed small minds" indeed.
Mrs.
Hobbs Ooh, she didn't like that.
Must be her small mind.
- This isn't happening! - Yes it is! You know, Amaar, it's like I always say, integrity is the compass that guides us along God's path.
Trick knee, huh? What kind of trick? (lusty chuckle) What's this? A little gift from me to you.
- Dad? - The key? The key! You gave her the key.
That's wonderful.
Shutting up.
There is a house that goes around it, but I couldn't find a box big enough.
You're giving me the house? Well, I know it meant so much to you, and I've never been able oo refuse my little girl anything.
Dad, you are so sweet.
please stop calling me a little girl.
Never.
Well, that's that then.
Yeah, that's that.
- Where's the deed? - Oh, that I keep.
I can't let you move out from under my roof, So this is my other roof.
You drive a hard bargain.
Big hug! Oh (giggling) Ooh.
You guys are going to have to let me go at some point.
No chance.
(chuckles) (groaning) You're squishing me! (laughing) Dad! Ow! Subtitle by: Kiasuseven