Phineas and Ferb s04e03 Episode Script
Fly on the Wall (15 min)
You'll never guess what I'm doing tonight.
Well, you might be Going on a big date, but guess with who? Obviously It's Jeremy! But you'll never guess where.
I have no idea.
Neither do I.
He says it's a surprise.
Ooh Lucky you.
The problem is if I don't know where we're going, I don't know what to wear.
Oh! I know! Hair bows.
They're all the rage these days.
Just don't wear any feather earrings, they're so last Tuesday.
Uh, yeah! So last Tuesday.
I-I would never wear something so Tuesdayish of last.
Well, since the parts didn't arrive for our zombie-robot pool table, anybody have any other suggestions? Hey, remember how we did that super rollercoaster? How 'bout a super-duper rollercoaster? So, you are just adding a "duper" then? It's an acceptable suffix.
We did a portal to Mars.
Maybe a portal to Venus? Maybe a portal to Venus? Hah! Only if they make SPF 12 million.
Okay, okay! How 'bout a super-super-duper-duper-duper rollercoaster? What? Too much or not enough? Actually, instead of improving one of our old inventions, we should make something brand new! Something simple.
How do you mean? Well, what is summer all about? Summer is running through the sprinklers in your T-shirt, shoes, andâ Yeah, we all know the song.
But I'm not exactly sure how.
Well, hurry up and think of somethin'.
I'm gettin' tired of hanging around here.
That's it, Buford.
You can't get more summer than a tire swing.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Uh, hatch mosquitoes? No.
Hey, where's Perry? Morning, Agent P.
We have a report that Doofenshmirtz is at the shark.
We don't know which shark, but it sounds bad.
Ugh! Gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it.
Sir, it was a typo.
Doof isn't at the shark, he's at the park.
Well then, that's a lot lower on my heebie-jeebie scale.
So Agent P, uh change of plan.
Head over to the park and stop Doof from doing the doings that Doof does do.
Head over to the park and stop Doof from doing the doings that Doof does do.
You have a heebie-jeebie scale, sir? Yeah.
You're on it.
An old-fashioned tire swing but huge and powered by jet-engines that can flatten a small village.
Baljeet, have you calibrated the ailerons yet? Oh, sure, calibrated the ailerons I'll just stay here and fiddle with stuff, so I look busy.
Hey, Buford.
What? I didn't take nothing out of nowhere.
But, um Just as a hypothetical, uh What do you think would happen if say, you took that goofy doohickey thing out of the thingamawhatsit? Hmm.
Good question.
Ferb? Well, if we account for the coolness of the jet propulsion circuits this early in the day, and the increased internal humidity while that access port is open, removing the part in question would cause the machine to emit a ray that turns a human into a fly.
Really? You'd be surprised how often removing a single component can make the difference between one thing, and a highly complicated totally unrelated other thing.
For instance, if you remove this part it will become a sorbet machine.
Why do you ask? Oh, no reason.
A hair bow? Only Stacy can pull this off.
I'm a fly?! How is this possible?! Phineas and Ferb, you are so buzz-ted! Phineas and Ferb, you are so buzz-ted! Mom! Mom, look! Phineas and Ferb invented somethin' that turns people into flies! Ew! Get away, fly! Shoo! Oops, I'm late for my appointment.
Mom, it's me! Mom! You need to bust the boys and get them to turn me back into me before Jeremy gets back here! What? Help me! Ah, Perry the Platypus, won't you join me for a picnic? Ah! Oh! Oh, my duodenum.
Oh! Oh, did you see your face? You were like, "Ooh, maybe I shouldn't, but then, well, I am hungry".
And then BOOM! And then BOOM! Down you went! And are you hungry, Perry the Platypus? Well, too bad, it's not for you, it's for them! Behold! My Feed-the-Pigeons-inator! Okay, Snobby the Snobapus, I know it doesn't sound like much, but it is technically evil.
I'm breaking the law, see? There? There.
"Do not feed the pigeons".
And I am going to feed the pigeons, therefore I am breaking the law.
"Do not feed the pigeoâ" I-It's aâ It's a metal sign with big red letters on it and that makes it, legally binding.
big red letters on it and that makes it, legally binding.
Okay, here's the truth.
I got evil scientist block, all right? Seriously, I gotâ I got nothing.
Iâ I was going to make a Good-Idea-inator, but I thought it would be counterproductive because it already had "good" in the title.
So then I invented a Bad-Idea-inator, which just gave me this.
See where that got me.
Ah, I'm telling you, I'm dry, Perry the Platypus.
Dry! And the summer just keeps going on and on and it feels like it's been goin' on for like four years! I'm asking you, man to monotreme, can you help me? See? Even my trap design has become lackluster.
Lady and gentlemen, may we present a good old-fashioned new-fashioned tire swing! Prepare to engage thrusters! The fully-pressurized cabin is gyroscopically balanced for a perfectly smooth ride.
Hmm.
Now it just feels like we are watching a movie.
True, but we can also go old school! Hang on, everybody! This is great! I have never been so sick to my stomach! Okay, I think I've gleaned from your expression that you are now going to lead me through a series of bizarre and seemingly unrelated exercises that will help me get my groove back.
Does that about sum it up? Good.
Let's do this thing! You again? Looks like I took you on a little trip.
Get back to your family, little fella.
Little fella? What about me looks like a little FELLA?! What of me looks like a little FELLA?! (Song: Fly On the Wall) I don't have to tell you it's a negative situation Once you're in it I mean, you have to beat your wings 12,000 times a minute Yeah You spit acid on your food 'cause you can't chew And when you order from the menu, it's always number 2 But baby, you can see it all Baby, you can see it all Baby, you can see it all when you're a fly on the wall You got compound eyes, you got hairy thighs Yeah, life ain't easy for common houseflies Flypaper, bug zappers, swatters and sprays And if you make it through that, you live all of seven days But baby, you can see it all Baby, you can see it all Baby, you can see it all when you're a fly on the wall This is Jeremy's house! And there's Jeremy! At last, a silver lining! I can find out where we're goin' tonight! A girl's gotta know what a girl's gotta wear.
Yeah, it's a total surprise.
I'm taking her to the rodeo.
The rodeo? I love rodeos! Wait, do I love rodeos or is that because I'm a fly? Oh, hang on, Coltrane, there's a fly in here.
Let me get it.
There's one! Come on, Fireside Girls! Let's get it! Well, girls, there goes our Lizard-Feeding patch.
Could this day get any weirder? Hello.
Oh, my gosh, were you turned into a fly, too? Me? No, I was always a fly.
I just got shot with a Human-Head-inator and Now I got this thing! It's really uncomfortable.
How do you walk around with these? Tell me about it.
Be glad you don't have a freakishly long neck! Yes, that was a rush! What a rush! Great! That was the most fun ever! Yeah! Let's restock the snack bar and go again! Now there is something you do not see every day.
A fly with orange hair.
Orange hair? Uh-oh! Candace has been turned into a fly! Wait, did someone take the doohickeys thing out of the thingamawhatsit? Buford? Uh Oh, no! If I catch the mug what did this Yeah, I'm on it! Okay, if I just pull Whoops! Wrong one! Not that one! Wait, wait! Go back two! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I mean, you are so busted! But, thank you! Took a few tries there! If I were thinking, I would've just pushed this "fly" button.
Oh, it's that kind of fly! Whoa, that is so weird! We're in a space shuttle and the shuttle program ended years ago! I guess that's it.
Fun's over.
Au contraire.
(On the contrary.
) Sorbet? This is great! The best inator I've ever made! And you know what, Perry the Platypus? There's no self-destruct button on this, so there's no way you can stop me from taking over the entire Tri-Stateâ Huh.
Well, like my Uncle Boris used to say, "When life's goin' well, a giant tire comes along and smashes your inator.
" We all thought he was crazy at the time, but now it seems rather prophetic.
I don't get why this stuff is called "sorbet"? Ain't it just a fancy people word for "ice cream"? Where ice cream is made from dairy products and turned vigorously with air, sorbet is made entirely out of fancy people.
Really? No, not really.
Hey, guys! Is Candace around? Hey there, Jeremy! A little bird told me we were goin' to the rodeo! Actually, sir, it is pronounced "ro-day-o".
Oh, yeah.
My mistake.
May I take your order, partner? I don't suppose it's "Dress Like a Cowboy and Get Your Dinner Free" night? No, madame.
That is Tuesdays.
Well, you might be Going on a big date, but guess with who? Obviously It's Jeremy! But you'll never guess where.
I have no idea.
Neither do I.
He says it's a surprise.
Ooh Lucky you.
The problem is if I don't know where we're going, I don't know what to wear.
Oh! I know! Hair bows.
They're all the rage these days.
Just don't wear any feather earrings, they're so last Tuesday.
Uh, yeah! So last Tuesday.
I-I would never wear something so Tuesdayish of last.
Well, since the parts didn't arrive for our zombie-robot pool table, anybody have any other suggestions? Hey, remember how we did that super rollercoaster? How 'bout a super-duper rollercoaster? So, you are just adding a "duper" then? It's an acceptable suffix.
We did a portal to Mars.
Maybe a portal to Venus? Maybe a portal to Venus? Hah! Only if they make SPF 12 million.
Okay, okay! How 'bout a super-super-duper-duper-duper rollercoaster? What? Too much or not enough? Actually, instead of improving one of our old inventions, we should make something brand new! Something simple.
How do you mean? Well, what is summer all about? Summer is running through the sprinklers in your T-shirt, shoes, andâ Yeah, we all know the song.
But I'm not exactly sure how.
Well, hurry up and think of somethin'.
I'm gettin' tired of hanging around here.
That's it, Buford.
You can't get more summer than a tire swing.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Uh, hatch mosquitoes? No.
Hey, where's Perry? Morning, Agent P.
We have a report that Doofenshmirtz is at the shark.
We don't know which shark, but it sounds bad.
Ugh! Gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it.
Sir, it was a typo.
Doof isn't at the shark, he's at the park.
Well then, that's a lot lower on my heebie-jeebie scale.
So Agent P, uh change of plan.
Head over to the park and stop Doof from doing the doings that Doof does do.
Head over to the park and stop Doof from doing the doings that Doof does do.
You have a heebie-jeebie scale, sir? Yeah.
You're on it.
An old-fashioned tire swing but huge and powered by jet-engines that can flatten a small village.
Baljeet, have you calibrated the ailerons yet? Oh, sure, calibrated the ailerons I'll just stay here and fiddle with stuff, so I look busy.
Hey, Buford.
What? I didn't take nothing out of nowhere.
But, um Just as a hypothetical, uh What do you think would happen if say, you took that goofy doohickey thing out of the thingamawhatsit? Hmm.
Good question.
Ferb? Well, if we account for the coolness of the jet propulsion circuits this early in the day, and the increased internal humidity while that access port is open, removing the part in question would cause the machine to emit a ray that turns a human into a fly.
Really? You'd be surprised how often removing a single component can make the difference between one thing, and a highly complicated totally unrelated other thing.
For instance, if you remove this part it will become a sorbet machine.
Why do you ask? Oh, no reason.
A hair bow? Only Stacy can pull this off.
I'm a fly?! How is this possible?! Phineas and Ferb, you are so buzz-ted! Phineas and Ferb, you are so buzz-ted! Mom! Mom, look! Phineas and Ferb invented somethin' that turns people into flies! Ew! Get away, fly! Shoo! Oops, I'm late for my appointment.
Mom, it's me! Mom! You need to bust the boys and get them to turn me back into me before Jeremy gets back here! What? Help me! Ah, Perry the Platypus, won't you join me for a picnic? Ah! Oh! Oh, my duodenum.
Oh! Oh, did you see your face? You were like, "Ooh, maybe I shouldn't, but then, well, I am hungry".
And then BOOM! And then BOOM! Down you went! And are you hungry, Perry the Platypus? Well, too bad, it's not for you, it's for them! Behold! My Feed-the-Pigeons-inator! Okay, Snobby the Snobapus, I know it doesn't sound like much, but it is technically evil.
I'm breaking the law, see? There? There.
"Do not feed the pigeons".
And I am going to feed the pigeons, therefore I am breaking the law.
"Do not feed the pigeoâ" I-It's aâ It's a metal sign with big red letters on it and that makes it, legally binding.
big red letters on it and that makes it, legally binding.
Okay, here's the truth.
I got evil scientist block, all right? Seriously, I gotâ I got nothing.
Iâ I was going to make a Good-Idea-inator, but I thought it would be counterproductive because it already had "good" in the title.
So then I invented a Bad-Idea-inator, which just gave me this.
See where that got me.
Ah, I'm telling you, I'm dry, Perry the Platypus.
Dry! And the summer just keeps going on and on and it feels like it's been goin' on for like four years! I'm asking you, man to monotreme, can you help me? See? Even my trap design has become lackluster.
Lady and gentlemen, may we present a good old-fashioned new-fashioned tire swing! Prepare to engage thrusters! The fully-pressurized cabin is gyroscopically balanced for a perfectly smooth ride.
Hmm.
Now it just feels like we are watching a movie.
True, but we can also go old school! Hang on, everybody! This is great! I have never been so sick to my stomach! Okay, I think I've gleaned from your expression that you are now going to lead me through a series of bizarre and seemingly unrelated exercises that will help me get my groove back.
Does that about sum it up? Good.
Let's do this thing! You again? Looks like I took you on a little trip.
Get back to your family, little fella.
Little fella? What about me looks like a little FELLA?! What of me looks like a little FELLA?! (Song: Fly On the Wall) I don't have to tell you it's a negative situation Once you're in it I mean, you have to beat your wings 12,000 times a minute Yeah You spit acid on your food 'cause you can't chew And when you order from the menu, it's always number 2 But baby, you can see it all Baby, you can see it all Baby, you can see it all when you're a fly on the wall You got compound eyes, you got hairy thighs Yeah, life ain't easy for common houseflies Flypaper, bug zappers, swatters and sprays And if you make it through that, you live all of seven days But baby, you can see it all Baby, you can see it all Baby, you can see it all when you're a fly on the wall This is Jeremy's house! And there's Jeremy! At last, a silver lining! I can find out where we're goin' tonight! A girl's gotta know what a girl's gotta wear.
Yeah, it's a total surprise.
I'm taking her to the rodeo.
The rodeo? I love rodeos! Wait, do I love rodeos or is that because I'm a fly? Oh, hang on, Coltrane, there's a fly in here.
Let me get it.
There's one! Come on, Fireside Girls! Let's get it! Well, girls, there goes our Lizard-Feeding patch.
Could this day get any weirder? Hello.
Oh, my gosh, were you turned into a fly, too? Me? No, I was always a fly.
I just got shot with a Human-Head-inator and Now I got this thing! It's really uncomfortable.
How do you walk around with these? Tell me about it.
Be glad you don't have a freakishly long neck! Yes, that was a rush! What a rush! Great! That was the most fun ever! Yeah! Let's restock the snack bar and go again! Now there is something you do not see every day.
A fly with orange hair.
Orange hair? Uh-oh! Candace has been turned into a fly! Wait, did someone take the doohickeys thing out of the thingamawhatsit? Buford? Uh Oh, no! If I catch the mug what did this Yeah, I'm on it! Okay, if I just pull Whoops! Wrong one! Not that one! Wait, wait! Go back two! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I mean, you are so busted! But, thank you! Took a few tries there! If I were thinking, I would've just pushed this "fly" button.
Oh, it's that kind of fly! Whoa, that is so weird! We're in a space shuttle and the shuttle program ended years ago! I guess that's it.
Fun's over.
Au contraire.
(On the contrary.
) Sorbet? This is great! The best inator I've ever made! And you know what, Perry the Platypus? There's no self-destruct button on this, so there's no way you can stop me from taking over the entire Tri-Stateâ Huh.
Well, like my Uncle Boris used to say, "When life's goin' well, a giant tire comes along and smashes your inator.
" We all thought he was crazy at the time, but now it seems rather prophetic.
I don't get why this stuff is called "sorbet"? Ain't it just a fancy people word for "ice cream"? Where ice cream is made from dairy products and turned vigorously with air, sorbet is made entirely out of fancy people.
Really? No, not really.
Hey, guys! Is Candace around? Hey there, Jeremy! A little bird told me we were goin' to the rodeo! Actually, sir, it is pronounced "ro-day-o".
Oh, yeah.
My mistake.
May I take your order, partner? I don't suppose it's "Dress Like a Cowboy and Get Your Dinner Free" night? No, madame.
That is Tuesdays.