Reno 911! (2003) s04e03 Episode Script
Jet Ski Blues
networks.]
guys! Guys! Hey! There is a guys! Guys! Hey! There is a guys! Guys! Hey! There is a full on race riot going on Full on race riot going on Full on race riot going on downtown.
We've gotta move.
Downtown.
We've gotta move.
Downtown.
We've gotta move.
We've gotta move! We've gotta move! We've gotta move! holy shit! holy shit! holy shit! go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! no shooting! No shooting! no shooting! No shooting! no shooting! No shooting! Shields! Shields! Shields! quiet down! All right, let's quiet down! All right, let's quiet down! All right, let's move! Move out! ha ha ha! I don't think she's tripping! I don't think she's tripping! I don't think she's tripping! It was a trick! bah! whoa! Aah! [blows whistle.]
[blows whistle.]
[blows whistle.]
all right.
Ok.
Don't let him all right.
Ok.
Don't let him all right.
Ok.
Don't let him go under-- get back in the building! No get back in the building! No get back in the building! No loitering! Loitering! Loitering! aah! [police siren wails.]
Dangle: Sad news today.
Does Dangle: Sad news today.
Does Dangle: Sad news today.
Does everybody remember deputy buzz? Everybody remember deputy buzz? Everybody remember deputy buzz? He used to stand in the back, He used to stand in the back, He used to stand in the back, right over there? Right over there? Right over there? mm-hmm.
mm-hmm.
mm-hmm.
he, uhHe died.
he, uhHe died.
he, uhHe died.
no.
no.
no.
he did not.
he did not.
he did not.
yeah.
He had a rough couple yeah.
He had a rough couple yeah.
He had a rough couple of years back to back.
You know Of years back to back.
You know Of years back to back.
You know how the missus had left him.
How the missus had left him.
How the missus had left him.
he moved up to truckee.
he moved up to truckee.
he moved up to truckee.
That's the last I heard.
That's the last I heard.
That's the last I heard.
no, he was living in his no, he was living in his no, he was living in his truck.
Truck.
Truck.
he lived in a truck.
He he lived in a truck.
He he lived in a truck.
He wanted to sound big and sound Wanted to sound big and sound Wanted to sound big and sound fancy, so he said I'm living up Fancy, so he said I'm living up Fancy, so he said I'm living up in truckee.
In truckee.
no, not true.
let's be dignified about let's be dignified about let's be dignified about this.
This.
This.
holy shit.
holy shit.
holy shit.
yikes! yikes! yikes! smells like balls.
smells like balls.
smells like balls.
smells like taco balls.
smells like taco balls.
smells like taco balls.
it does smell like taco it does smell like taco it does smell like taco balls.
Uh-oh.
Old tacos, tacos, Balls.
Uh-oh.
Old tacos, tacos, Balls.
Uh-oh.
Old tacos, tacos, tacos, tacos up here.
Tacos, tacos up here.
Tacos, tacos up here.
oh, man.
Oh, buzz.
oh, man.
Oh, buzz.
oh, man.
Oh, buzz.
oh! oh! oh! now, that's not a possible-- now, that's not a possible-- now, that's not a possible-- oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
you're into that? you're into that? you're into that? you're not? you're not? you're not? well, you know what I'm into.
well, you know what I'm into.
well, you know what I'm into.
yeah, but-- yeah, but-- yeah, but-- oh! oh! oh! oh, yes! oh, yes! oh, yes! asian fever pornographic asian fever pornographic asian fever pornographic playing cards.
Playing cards.
Playing cards.
I'll take those.
I'll take those.
I'll take those.
okey-doke.
okey-doke.
okey-doke.
should we say something? should we say something? should we say something? we should say something, we should say something, we should say something, don't you think? Deputy buzz, we Don't you think? Deputy buzz, we Don't you think? Deputy buzz, we stand here with all your Stand here with all your Stand here with all your pornography, your copy of chubby Pornography, your copy of chubby Pornography, your copy of chubby chasmagazine, your squirrel Chasmagazine, your squirrel Chasmagazine, your squirrel hunting shirt, and it reminds us Hunting shirt, and it reminds us Hunting shirt, and it reminds us of our own mortality, and we Of our own mortality, and we Of our own mortality, and we know that these are the days of Know that these are the days of Know that these are the days of our lives.
oh, that's probably the keys oh, that's probably the keys oh, that's probably the keys to his old truck he was livin' To his old truck he was livin' To his old truck he was livin' in.
In.
In.
oh, yeah.
oh, yeah.
oh, yeah.
I guess we should, uh, put I guess we should, uh, put I guess we should, uh, put things in order out there, huh? Things in order out there, huh? Things in order out there, huh? he'd want it that way.
Yup.
he'd want it that way.
Yup.
he'd want it that way.
Yup.
you got all the pornography you got all the pornography you got all the pornography in there? In there? In there? just close the window on old just close the window on old just close the window on old buzz, here.
Bye-bye, buddy.
Buzz, here.
Bye-bye, buddy.
Buzz, here.
Bye-bye, buddy.
well, we still have to get well, we still have to get well, we still have to get that stuff out for dry cleaning.
That stuff out for dry cleaning.
That stuff out for dry cleaning.
Did we close it? Did we close it? Did we close it? this stuff? this stuff? this stuff? yeah.
yeah.
yeah.
dry cleaning? We're gonna dry cleaning? We're gonna dry cleaning? We're gonna re-use his uniform? Re-use his uniform? Re-use his uniform? yeah.
That's what we always yeah.
That's what we always yeah.
That's what we always do.
Always.
Unless it's got a Do.
Always.
Unless it's got a Do.
Always.
Unless it's got a bullet hole, we use it again.
Bullet hole, we use it again.
Bullet hole, we use it again.
That's the policy.
oh, hey, guy.
oh, hey, guy.
oh, hey, guy.
hey, trudy.
hey, trudy.
hey, trudy.
looks like I'm early.
looks like I'm early.
looks like I'm early.
you are a little bit, oh, you are a little bit, oh, you are a little bit, oh, good, you can help me out.
Good, you can help me out.
Good, you can help me out.
yeah, I'd love to.
yeah, I'd love to.
yeah, I'd love to.
that's great.
Could you--I'd that's great.
Could you--I'd that's great.
Could you--I'd really appreciate it, actually, Really appreciate it, actually, Really appreciate it, actually, if you could just grab my balls.
If you could just grab my balls.
If you could just grab my balls.
I wanted to do a little ball I wanted to do a little ball I wanted to do a little ball work in class today.
I have them Work in class today.
I have them Work in class today.
I have them in the back.
While I can, maybe, In the back.
While I can, maybe, In the back.
While I can, maybe, get the babies set up.
Get the babies set up.
Get the babies set up.
oh, go in the back and get oh, go in the back and get oh, go in the back and get your balls.
The birthing balls.
Your balls.
The birthing balls.
Your balls.
The birthing balls.
the birth balls.
the birth balls.
the birth balls.
ok, sure.
Sure.
ok, sure.
Sure.
ok, sure.
Sure.
you look great.
You got a you look great.
You got a you look great.
You got a nice glow about you.
Nice glow about you.
Nice glow about you.
I do? I do? I do? yeah, you do.
yeah, you do.
yeah, you do.
thanks.
You wanna feel? thanks.
You wanna feel? thanks.
You wanna feel? well, I never say no to that.
well, I never say no to that.
well, I never say no to that.
he's kicking.
he's kicking.
he's kicking.
is he? is he? is he? yeah.
Feel.
yeah.
Feel.
yeah.
Feel.
oh, yeah.
Yeah.
oh, yeah.
Yeah.
oh, yeah.
Yeah.
it's actually lower.
He sits it's actually lower.
He sits it's actually lower.
He sits lower.
Lower.
Lower.
hi, ladies.
hi, ladies.
hi, ladies.
it's really low.
For some it's really low.
For some it's really low.
For some reason, he's kicking really low Reason, he's kicking really low Reason, he's kicking really low today.
It's almost--yeah.
Today.
It's almost--yeah.
Today.
It's almost--yeah.
like he's actually moving his like he's actually moving his like he's actually moving his way through your-- Way through your-- Way through your-- yeah, you feel that? yeah, you feel that? yeah, you feel that? I do feel that.
I do feel that.
I do feel that.
my milk hasn't dropped yet.
I my milk hasn't dropped yet.
I my milk hasn't dropped yet.
I don't know.
Is it--can you--is Don't know.
Is it--can you--is Don't know.
Is it--can you--is there a massage you can do to There a massage you can do to There a massage you can do to get them to drop? Get them to drop? Get them to drop? there is.
There's a certain-- there is.
There's a certain-- there is.
There's a certain-- just on top.
A little.
You can Just on top.
A little.
You can Just on top.
A little.
You can go into the chest.
And, Go into the chest.
And, Go into the chest.
And, actually, what's really good, is Actually, what's really good, is Actually, what's really good, is to turn out and get the bulb of To turn out and get the bulb of To turn out and get the bulb of the breast.
Just--just--kind of The breast.
Just--just--kind of The breast.
Just--just--kind of a circular motion.
A circular motion.
A circular motion.
right.
right.
right.
that's good right there.
And that's good right there.
And that's good right there.
And then just with the thumbs.
Then just with the thumbs.
Then just with the thumbs.
right.
right.
right.
just like that.
And it just just like that.
And it just just like that.
And it just helps circulate, and it helps Helps circulate, and it helps Helps circulate, and it helps generate more milk.
Generate more milk.
Generate more milk.
right.
I'm circulating.
I'm right.
I'm circulating.
I'm right.
I'm circulating.
I'm definitely circulating.
Definitely circulating.
Definitely circulating.
yeah, good.
Good.
All right, yeah, good.
Good.
All right, yeah, good.
Good.
All right, well, let's, uh--I don't hear Well, let's, uh--I don't hear Well, let's, uh--I don't hear any breathing.
I wanna hear some Any breathing.
I wanna hear some Any breathing.
I wanna hear some breathing when you guys are Breathing when you guys are Breathing when you guys are coming into class, all right? Coming into class, all right? Coming into class, all right? Let's get to work.
Let's get to work.
Let's get to work.
whoo! oh, god, that's sad.
This is oh, god, that's sad.
This is oh, god, that's sad.
This is where he was living? Where he was living? Where he was living? yup.
Welcome to the love yup.
Welcome to the love yup.
Welcome to the love mobile.
Beautiful home.
Mobile.
Beautiful home.
Mobile.
Beautiful home.
in a cube truck? Lifetime of in a cube truck? Lifetime of in a cube truck? Lifetime of law enforcement.
Law enforcement.
Law enforcement.
All: Oh! All: Oh! All: Oh! shut it! Shut it! shut it! Shut it! shut it! Shut it! jeez, it's just jizz and jeez, it's just jizz and jeez, it's just jizz and dead dog and beer.
Dead dog and beer.
Dead dog and beer.
Wiegel: Ok, that's the life, Wiegel: Ok, that's the life, Wiegel: Ok, that's the life, huh? Huh? Huh? this is it.
This is this is it.
This is this is it.
This is everything he left, huh? Who Everything he left, huh? Who Everything he left, huh? Who wants the truck? Not it! Wants the truck? Not it! Wants the truck? Not it! not it! not it! not it! I say trudy.
Trudy might want I say trudy.
Trudy might want I say trudy.
Trudy might want it.
It.
It.
Dangle: Trudy.
Dangle: Trudy.
Dangle: Trudy.
Willams: Trudy.
You got it, Willams: Trudy.
You got it, Willams: Trudy.
You got it, trudy.
Trudy.
Trudy.
Wiegel: Whoo-hoo! Wiegel: Whoo-hoo! Wiegel: Whoo-hoo! Kimball: Can't say you didn't Kimball: Can't say you didn't Kimball: Can't say you didn't never win anything.
Never win anything.
Never win anything.
Williams: Hold your nose.
Hold Williams: Hold your nose.
Hold Williams: Hold your nose.
Hold your nose.
oh, my god.
more and more kids are more and more kids are more and more kids are throwing around the word Throwing around the word Throwing around the word "pimping" today.
"pimp my ride," "pimping" today.
"pimp my ride," "pimping" today.
"pimp my ride," or "hey, that's pimped out.
" Or "hey, that's pimped out.
" Or "hey, that's pimped out.
" real pimps are dangerous, Real pimps are dangerous, Real pimps are dangerous, usually addicted to dangerous Usually addicted to dangerous Usually addicted to dangerous drugs, and keep their Drugs, and keep their Drugs, and keep their prostitutes in submission Prostitutes in submission Prostitutes in submission through violence.
And, no, they Through violence.
And, no, they Through violence.
And, no, they don't dress cool.
The only Don't dress cool.
The only Don't dress cool.
The only outfit a real pimp is ever Outfit a real pimp is ever Outfit a real pimp is ever guaranteed in life is this one.
Guaranteed in life is this one.
Guaranteed in life is this one.
Think about it.
Garcia: Holy shit.
Garcia: Holy shit.
Garcia: Holy shit.
Junior: I call the jet ski.
Junior: I call the jet ski.
Junior: I call the jet ski.
[everyone yells at once.]
[everyone yells at once.]
[everyone yells at once.]
dangle: No! No! No! No calling Dangle: No! No! No! No calling Dangle: No! No! No! No calling it.
It.
It.
Junior: I feel like I called it Junior: I feel like I called it Junior: I feel like I called it first.
First.
First.
Dangle: Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Step Dangle: Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Step Dangle: Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Step back.
Back.
Back.
ok, can I go on record right ok, can I go on record right ok, can I go on record right this second and say that matt This second and say that matt This second and say that matt buzz is one of my kids daddies? Buzz is one of my kids daddies? Buzz is one of my kids daddies? Dangle: He was white.
Dangle: He was white.
Dangle: He was white.
I know.
One of my kids is I know.
One of my kids is I know.
One of my kids is mixed.
Mixed.
Mixed.
All: No.
All: No.
All: No.
Kimball: How about we auction it Kimball: How about we auction it Kimball: How about we auction it off for charity? Off for charity? Off for charity? Williams: How about you shut up, Williams: How about you shut up, Williams: How about you shut up, fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Dangle: You gotta be fucking Dangle: You gotta be fucking Dangle: You gotta be fucking kidding, right? Kidding, right? Kidding, right? Wiegel: Go to hell.
Wiegel: Go to hell.
Wiegel: Go to hell.
ok, here's what we'll do.
ok, here's what we'll do.
ok, here's what we'll do.
Everyone, I'm thinking of a-- Everyone, I'm thinking of a-- Everyone, I'm thinking of a-- 7! 7! 7! I was gonna say color.
I was gonna say color.
I was gonna say color.
Garcia: Blue! Garcia: Blue! Garcia: Blue! let's cut cards.
let's cut cards.
let's cut cards.
that'd be much better, that'd be much better, that'd be much better, actually.
Actually.
Actually.
this settles it.
Who ever this settles it.
Who ever this settles it.
Who ever gets the highest card.
Gets the highest card.
Gets the highest card.
agreed.
This is a fair way.
agreed.
This is a fair way.
agreed.
This is a fair way.
do it.
Don't jump like a do it.
Don't jump like a do it.
Don't jump like a bunch of rats.
Bunch of rats.
Bunch of rats.
clear the cards! clear the cards! clear the cards! don't fucking hit me.
don't fucking hit me.
don't fucking hit me.
you took mine! You tried to you took mine! You tried to you took mine! You tried to take mine! Take mine! Take mine! 8.
8.
8.
I'm out.
I got a 4.
I'm out.
I got a 4.
I'm out.
I got a 4.
I got a sticky 5.
I got a sticky 5.
I got a sticky 5.
8.
Can you beat it? 8.
Can you beat it? 8.
Can you beat it? 10.
10.
10.
he won! he won! he won! I got an ace.
I got an ace.
I got an ace.
bullshit.
Let's see it.
bullshit.
Let's see it.
bullshit.
Let's see it.
Son of a bitch.
Son of a bitch.
Son of a bitch.
no way! She didn't even know no way! She didn't even know no way! She didn't even know matt buzz.
Matt buzz.
Matt buzz.
she shouldn't have even she shouldn't have even she shouldn't have even gotten to draw because she Gotten to draw because she Gotten to draw because she didn't know buzz.
Didn't know buzz.
Didn't know buzz.
ok, kimball gets first draw ok, kimball gets first draw ok, kimball gets first draw on the re-shuffle.
On the re-shuffle.
On the re-shuffle.
no! Uh-uh! No! I won it fair no! Uh-uh! No! I won it fair no! Uh-uh! No! I won it fair and square! We all agreed! No And square! We all agreed! No And square! We all agreed! No ifs, ands, or butts! We all Ifs, ands, or butts! We all Ifs, ands, or butts! We all agreed that it would settle it! Agreed that it would settle it! Agreed that it would settle it! did we? I don't remember.
did we? I don't remember.
did we? I don't remember.
yes, we did.
yes, we did.
yes, we did.
I don't remember that.
I don't remember that.
I don't remember that.
oh, screw all y'all.
This is oh, screw all y'all.
This is oh, screw all y'all.
This is mine.
Mine.
Mine.
are you calling my best are you calling my best are you calling my best friend kimball a liar? Friend kimball a liar? Friend kimball a liar? you're a beautiful woman and you're a beautiful woman and you're a beautiful woman and you look good.
You look good.
You look good.
bite me! Bite me! Hey! Hey! bite me! Bite me! Hey! Hey! bite me! Bite me! Hey! Hey! Somebody! Hey! I love the jet ski.
I feel I love the jet ski.
I feel I love the jet ski.
I feel like it's given me a new lease Like it's given me a new lease Like it's given me a new lease on life.
I might start making On life.
I might start making On life.
I might start making all kinds of changesAfter All kinds of changesAfter All kinds of changesAfter having sped across the glassy Having sped across the glassy Having sped across the glassy waters.
Waters.
Waters.
are you saying it's gonna are you saying it's gonna are you saying it's gonna make you come out as a lesbian? Make you come out as a lesbian? Make you come out as a lesbian? no, sir, I am not.
no, sir, I am not.
no, sir, I am not.
that was code for that.
that was code for that.
that was code for that.
no, it is not.
no, it is not.
no, it is not.
yes, it was.
It was code for yes, it was.
It was code for yes, it was.
It was code for that she's gonna come out as a That she's gonna come out as a That she's gonna come out as a lesbian.
I have no problem with Lesbian.
I have no problem with Lesbian.
I have no problem with it.
I'm all for it, in fact.
It.
I'm all for it, in fact.
It.
I'm all for it, in fact.
yeah, I think I'll just ride yeah, I think I'll just ride yeah, I think I'll just ride that jet ski from gay bar to gay That jet ski from gay bar to gay That jet ski from gay bar to gay bar, and pick up all my lesbian Bar, and pick up all my lesbian Bar, and pick up all my lesbian girlfriends.
Girlfriends.
Girlfriends.
well, that's what I was gonna well, that's what I was gonna well, that's what I was gonna do if I got it.
Do if I got it.
Do if I got it.
and I think I might have sex and I think I might have sex and I think I might have sex with a goat, too, because, With a goat, too, because, With a goat, too, because, apparently, I like bestiality Apparently, I like bestiality Apparently, I like bestiality because I don't walk around in Because I don't walk around in Because I don't walk around in little skirts and high heels all Little skirts and high heels all Little skirts and high heels all the time.
The time.
The time.
you immediately compare gay you immediately compare gay you immediately compare gay sex to bestiality.
A lot of Sex to bestiality.
A lot of Sex to bestiality.
A lot of people do that.
That's a really People do that.
That's a really People do that.
That's a really interesting fact.
Interesting fact.
Interesting fact.
I didn't, I just think it's a I didn't, I just think it's a I didn't, I just think it's a slippery slope.
Slippery slope.
Slippery slope.
apparently, you slide off of apparently, you slide off of apparently, you slide off of it from gay sex, and you end up It from gay sex, and you end up It from gay sex, and you end up with your penis in an animal.
well, they were doing a toys well, they were doing a toys well, they were doing a toys for guns program-- For guns program-- For guns program-- there it is.
There it is.
there it is.
There it is.
there it is.
There it is.
here we go.
Where you turn in here we go.
Where you turn in here we go.
Where you turn in your gun, and you get a toy.
So, Your gun, and you get a toy.
So, Your gun, and you get a toy.
So, anyway, we sent out trudy to Anyway, we sent out trudy to Anyway, we sent out trudy to pick up the boxes full of guns.
Pick up the boxes full of guns.
Pick up the boxes full of guns.
She did, came back to the She did, came back to the She did, came back to the station, no boxes of guns.
Station, no boxes of guns.
Station, no boxes of guns.
yeah.
yeah.
yeah.
bingo.
bingo.
bingo.
yup.
yup.
yup.
son of a bitch.
Here's what son of a bitch.
Here's what son of a bitch.
Here's what you did.
I'm trudy, ok? Sets it You did.
I'm trudy, ok? Sets it You did.
I'm trudy, ok? Sets it on the thing, gets in, pulls On the thing, gets in, pulls On the thing, gets in, pulls out.
I've done it with a coffee Out.
I've done it with a coffee Out.
I've done it with a coffee cup sometimes.
Ha! Bingo.
Cup sometimes.
Ha! Bingo.
Cup sometimes.
Ha! Bingo.
ooh, nice one, too.
ooh, nice one, too.
ooh, nice one, too.
what type? what type? what type? little beretta.
little beretta.
little beretta.
what's that, a luger? what's that, a luger? what's that, a luger? a lot of stars out tonight.
a lot of stars out tonight.
a lot of stars out tonight.
beautiful.
beautiful.
beautiful.
now, which one did you say now, which one did you say now, which one did you say was on your ass from the spork? Was on your ass from the spork? Was on your ass from the spork? ok, the spork scar on my ass ok, the spork scar on my ass ok, the spork scar on my ass looks like orion, who is the Looks like orion, who is the Looks like orion, who is the hunter.
Hunter.
Hunter.
I do not see what you're I do not see what you're I do not see what you're talking about.
Talking about.
Talking about.
right there.
You can't see right there.
You can't see right there.
You can't see his belt, his quiver, and his His belt, his quiver, and his His belt, his quiver, and his boots, and there's north? Boots, and there's north? Boots, and there's north? there's the jackalope right there's the jackalope right there's the jackalope right there.
There.
There.
the what? the what? the what? the jackalope.
the jackalope.
the jackalope.
the jackalope's not a the jackalope's not a the jackalope's not a constellation.
The jackalope? Constellation.
The jackalope? Constellation.
The jackalope? jackalope.
Right there.
jackalope.
Right there.
jackalope.
Right there.
is that a hillbilly is that a hillbilly is that a hillbilly constellation? Constellation? Constellation? it's a constellation.
it's a constellation.
it's a constellation.
it's a hillbilly it's a hillbilly it's a hillbilly constellation.
Constellation.
Constellation.
it's a mythical creature.
it's a mythical creature.
it's a mythical creature.
this is something that this is something that this is something that hillbillies make up when they're Hillbillies make up when they're Hillbillies make up when they're high.
There is no jackalope High.
There is no jackalope High.
There is no jackalope constellation.
Constellation.
Constellation.
as opposed to the hunter, as opposed to the hunter, as opposed to the hunter, with his shiver, and his zipper With his shiver, and his zipper With his shiver, and his zipper over there.
Over there.
Over there.
his quiver.
his quiver.
his quiver.
he can't move.
he can't move.
he can't move.
of course he can't move.
He's of course he can't move.
He's of course he can't move.
He's a constellation.
get on it.
get on it.
get on it.
operation let's do this is in operation let's do this is in operation let's do this is in order.
Order.
Order.
let's go.
wait.
Let's just go.
wait.
Let's just go.
wait.
Let's just go.
go.
ha ha! ha ha! ha ha! [gun cocks.]
[gun cocks.]
[gun cocks.]
how you doin', fellas? say what you want.
People say what you want.
People say what you want.
People today are getting dumber and Today are getting dumber and Today are getting dumber and dumber and--oh god! Dumber and--oh god! Dumber and--oh god! shit! shit! shit! sorry.
Sorry.
sorry.
Sorry.
sorry.
Sorry.
shit shit.
shit shit.
shit shit.
what the hell you gonna do what the hell you gonna do what the hell you gonna do with that? With that? With that? I'm makin' a gun papoose.
I'm makin' a gun papoose.
I'm makin' a gun papoose.
that's indian? that's indian? that's indian? watch and-- watch and-- watch and-- shit.
shit.
shit.
sorry.
Sorry.
Ok, that one's sorry.
Sorry.
Ok, that one's sorry.
Sorry.
Ok, that one's loaded.
That goes in the back of Loaded.
That goes in the back of Loaded.
That goes in the back of the pants.
This is the sort of The pants.
This is the sort of The pants.
This is the sort of things we learned in the scouts.
Things we learned in the scouts.
Things we learned in the scouts.
why didn't you just remember why didn't you just remember why didn't you just remember your fucking Your fucking Your fucking prepared, I thought you boys Prepared, I thought you boys Prepared, I thought you boys said.
Said.
Said.
but when you can't be but when you can't be but when you can't be prepared, be prepared to make a Prepared, be prepared to make a Prepared, be prepared to make a papoose.
Papoose.
Papoose.
[chants like a native american.]
[chants like a native american.]
[chants like a native american.]
I come with my great papoose of I come with my great papoose of I come with my great papoose of iron swiftness.
Iron swiftness.
Iron swiftness.
you look incredibly majestic.
you look incredibly majestic.
you look incredibly majestic.
thank you.
Good god.
I hope thank you.
Good god.
I hope thank you.
Good god.
I hope you get the whole malibu barbie You get the whole malibu barbie You get the whole malibu barbie dream house for this, at least, Dream house for this, at least, Dream house for this, at least, right? what's wrong? what's wrong? what's wrong? you're gloating.
you're gloating.
you're gloating.
do you feel like you have do you feel like you have do you feel like you have some power? Some power? Some power? mm-hmm.
mm-hmm.
mm-hmm.
no! I feel that I don't have no! I feel that I don't have no! I feel that I don't have power, I feel like I have a jet Power, I feel like I have a jet Power, I feel like I have a jet ski.
I feel like I'm awesome.
Ski.
I feel like I'm awesome.
Ski.
I feel like I'm awesome.
if something happens to you, if something happens to you, if something happens to you, I get the jet ski.
I'm number 2, I get the jet ski.
I'm number 2, I get the jet ski.
I'm number 2, ok? Ok? Ok? what do you mean, if what do you mean, if what do you mean, if something happens to me? Something happens to me? Something happens to me? if something happens to me, I if something happens to me, I if something happens to me, I think dangle's next in line.
Think dangle's next in line.
Think dangle's next in line.
well, guess what? I'm tough.
well, guess what? I'm tough.
well, guess what? I'm tough.
Ok? I'm a survivor.
Ok? I'm a survivor.
Ok? I'm a survivor.
process that, big boy, lucky process that, big boy, lucky process that, big boy, lucky lady.
Lady.
Lady.
would that be me? would that be me? would that be me? huh? huh? huh? would that be me? would that be me? would that be me? somebody's got a jet ski.
somebody's got a jet ski.
somebody's got a jet ski.
somebody's a lucky lady.
somebody's a lucky lady.
somebody's a lucky lady.
it's a little wet on the it's a little wet on the it's a little wet on the bottom.
Bottom.
Bottom.
all right.
all right.
all right.
she looks tan to me.
It makes she looks tan to me.
It makes she looks tan to me.
It makes me sick.
Me sick.
Me sick.
little bitch looks healthy.
little bitch looks healthy.
little bitch looks healthy.
oh, yeah.
Throwin' it up in oh, yeah.
Throwin' it up in oh, yeah.
Throwin' it up in everybody's face.
"I got the jet Everybody's face.
"I got the jet Everybody's face.
"I got the jet ski! I got the jet ski!" Ski! I got the jet ski!" Ski! I got the jet ski!" she didn't even know buzz.
she didn't even know buzz.
she didn't even know buzz.
no! no! no! [crash and a gunshot.]
[crash and a gunshot.]
[crash and a gunshot.]
kimball: Aah! Kimball: Aah! Kimball: Aah! Jones: Oh, no.
Oh, my god.
Oh, Jones: Oh, no.
Oh, my god.
Oh, Jones: Oh, no.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
My god.
My god.
Williams: Oh, my! Williams: Oh, my! Williams: Oh, my! Dangle: Holy shit! Holy Dangle: Holy shit! Holy Dangle: Holy shit! Holy shit! Shit! Shit! what happened? what happened? what happened? he shot me in the hand! What he shot me in the hand! What he shot me in the hand! What does it look like? He shot me! Does it look like? He shot me! Does it look like? He shot me! no, I didn't shoot her.
Well, no, I didn't shoot her.
Well, no, I didn't shoot her.
Well, hold on.
Don't do that.
Don't do Hold on.
Don't do that.
Don't do Hold on.
Don't do that.
Don't do that! That! That! what'd you do?! what'd you do?! what'd you do?! jimmy, hold on.
jimmy, hold on.
jimmy, hold on.
Kimball: Did you want it that Kimball: Did you want it that Kimball: Did you want it that bad?! Bad?! Bad?! Junior: You shot her? Junior: You shot her? Junior: You shot her? Jones: No, I slipped--no, hold Jones: No, I slipped--no, hold Jones: No, I slipped--no, hold on.
I slipped.
On.
I slipped.
On.
I slipped.
Williams: I said hold on! Williams: I said hold on! Williams: I said hold on! Dangle: Hey, don't draw your gun Dangle: Hey, don't draw your gun Dangle: Hey, don't draw your gun on him.
Do not draw your gun on On him.
Do not draw your gun on On him.
Do not draw your gun on him.
Him.
Him.
Jones: Hey, stop it.
Jones: Hey, stop it.
Jones: Hey, stop it.
Dangle: Put it up.
Dangle: Put it up.
Dangle: Put it up.
Jones: Everybody put down your Jones: Everybody put down your Jones: Everybody put down your gun! Gun! Gun! Junior: I'm on your side! Junior: I'm on your side! Junior: I'm on your side! Kimball: Right before we left Kimball: Right before we left Kimball: Right before we left this room, he said if something This room, he said if something This room, he said if something should happen to you, he would Should happen to you, he would Should happen to you, he would get the jet ski.
Get the jet ski.
Get the jet ski.
Jones: Hold on! Who had the box Jones: Hold on! Who had the box Jones: Hold on! Who had the box first?! First?! First?! Junior: Are you saying we rigged Junior: Are you saying we rigged Junior: Are you saying we rigged the box to shoot kimball? The box to shoot kimball? The box to shoot kimball? Jones: You told us it was wet.
Jones: You told us it was wet.
Jones: You told us it was wet.
Dangle: We didn't, if that's Dangle: We didn't, if that's Dangle: We didn't, if that's what you're thinking.
What you're thinking.
What you're thinking.
Jones: You said the box was Jones: You said the box was Jones: You said the box was heavy and it was wet! Heavy and it was wet! Heavy and it was wet! Dangle: You couldn't do that! It Dangle: You couldn't do that! It Dangle: You couldn't do that! It couldn't be done! It's Couldn't be done! It's Couldn't be done! It's impossible! Impossible! Impossible! Jones: You fucking shot her, I Jones: You fucking shot her, I Jones: You fucking shot her, I get the jet ski! You shot her! I Get the jet ski! You shot her! I Get the jet ski! You shot her! I get the jet ski! Get the jet ski! Get the jet ski! Kimball: Just lock him up.
Kimball: Just lock him up.
Kimball: Just lock him up.
Dangle: Be careful out there.
Dangle: Be careful out there.
Dangle: Be careful out there.
Williams: Well, wait a minute.
I Williams: Well, wait a minute.
I Williams: Well, wait a minute.
I just pulled my gun out.
Now, Just pulled my gun out.
Now, Just pulled my gun out.
Now, everybody, it's over? why should jones not get the why should jones not get the why should jones not get the jet ski? Ok, this is gonna sound Jet ski? Ok, this is gonna sound Jet ski? Ok, this is gonna sound racist.
I'm gonna try to think Racist.
I'm gonna try to think Racist.
I'm gonna try to think of way to make this not sound Of way to make this not sound Of way to make this not sound racist.
Racist.
Racist.
blacks don't swim.
blacks don't swim.
blacks don't swim.
ah! That's exactly what I was ah! That's exactly what I was ah! That's exactly what I was trying to think of a way to make Trying to think of a way to make Trying to think of a way to make it sound-- It sound-- It sound-- they don't.
They don't.
they don't.
They don't.
they don't.
They don't.
no.
They're like cats.
hello.
Can I see your hello.
Can I see your hello.
Can I see your driver's license? Driver's license? Driver's license? how dare you, sir? How dare how dare you, sir? How dare how dare you, sir? How dare you pull me over while I'm You pull me over while I'm You pull me over while I'm trying to drive?! Flashing your Trying to drive?! Flashing your Trying to drive?! Flashing your lights, blaring your siren.
Lights, blaring your siren.
Lights, blaring your siren.
You're gonna run someone off the You're gonna run someone off the You're gonna run someone off the road.
How dare you? Road.
How dare you? Road.
How dare you? how dare me? how dare me? how dare me? how dare you? Do you know who how dare you? Do you know who how dare you? Do you know who I am? I am? I am? no, ma'am, we don't know who no, ma'am, we don't know who no, ma'am, we don't know who you are.
That's why we're asking You are.
That's why we're asking You are.
That's why we're asking for your license.
For your license.
For your license.
this is ridiculous.
I don't this is ridiculous.
I don't this is ridiculous.
I don't have a driver's license.
I'm Have a driver's license.
I'm Have a driver's license.
I'm from new york.
Samantha thought From new york.
Samantha thought From new york.
Samantha thought it would be so cute, and so It would be so cute, and so It would be so cute, and so kitsch to have her wedding in Kitsch to have her wedding in Kitsch to have her wedding in reno.
Well, it is not cute, and Reno.
Well, it is not cute, and Reno.
Well, it is not cute, and it is not kitsch! It is a fouled It is not kitsch! It is a fouled It is not kitsch! It is a fouled up nightmare, and I just want-- Up nightmare, and I just want-- Up nightmare, and I just want-- calm down.
calm down.
calm down.
and I just don't understand and I just don't understand and I just don't understand why I'm always the bridesmaid, Why I'm always the bridesmaid, Why I'm always the bridesmaid, and never the bride! Don't you And never the bride! Don't you And never the bride! Don't you touch me.
Touch me.
Touch me.
how dare you.
how dare you.
how dare you.
are you getting all this? I are you getting all this? I are you getting all this? I hope you're getting all this.
Hope you're getting all this.
Hope you're getting all this.
don't talk to him.
don't talk to him.
don't talk to him.
wait till you meet me lawyer.
wait till you meet me lawyer.
wait till you meet me lawyer.
You're gonna love him, buddy.
Go You're gonna love him, buddy.
Go You're gonna love him, buddy.
Go ahead.
Don't touch me.
Aah! Ahead.
Don't touch me.
Aah! Ahead.
Don't touch me.
Aah! Don't you dare--aah! Rape! Rape! Don't you dare--aah! Rape! Rape! Don't you dare--aah! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! no rape! No rape! no rape! No rape! no rape! No rape! jones, can I talk to you.
jones, can I talk to you.
jones, can I talk to you.
Stay right there, ma'am.
Stay right there, ma'am.
Stay right there, ma'am.
you stay.
you stay.
you stay.
shush, ma'am.
Just keep shush, ma'am.
Just keep shush, ma'am.
Just keep quiet.
Is she the--what the Quiet.
Is she the--what the Quiet.
Is she the--what the hell? Hey! Hell? Hey! Hell? Hey! what're you doing? what're you doing? what're you doing? oh, my god! Oh! Oh! oh, my god! Oh! Oh! oh, my god! Oh! Oh! Jones: Oh, my god.
Jones: Oh, my god.
Jones: Oh, my god.
you all right, jones? 11 you all right, jones? 11 you all right, jones? 11 daniel 35.
We got a cameraman Daniel 35.
We got a cameraman Daniel 35.
We got a cameraman down.
what the hell? What the hell? what the hell? What the hell? what the hell? What the hell? what did you do?! what did you do?! what did you do?! oh, my gosh.
oh, my gosh.
oh, my gosh.
what happened? what happened? what happened? what the hell? what the hell? what the hell? what the fuck?! Fire! what the fuck?! Fire! what the fuck?! Fire! it's not worth it! Stop it! it's not worth it! Stop it! it's not worth it! Stop it! what the hell? Why?! Why?! what the hell? Why?! Why?! what the hell? Why?! Why?! calm down.
Calm down.
calm down.
Calm down.
calm down.
Calm down.
I did it.
I did it.
I did it.
why? You fucking did that? why? You fucking did that? why? You fucking did that? this thing was tearing us this thing was tearing us this thing was tearing us apart.
Like, before we had this Apart.
Like, before we had this Apart.
Like, before we had this thing, I don't know if we were Thing, I don't know if we were Thing, I don't know if we were friends, but we were cordial, Friends, but we were cordial, Friends, but we were cordial, you know? We wasn't yellin' at You know? We wasn't yellin' at You know? We wasn't yellin' at each other, and pointin' guns at Each other, and pointin' guns at Each other, and pointin' guns at each other.
This thing was like Each other.
This thing was like Each other.
This thing was like an evil cursed treasure, and I An evil cursed treasure, and I An evil cursed treasure, and I think it killed buzz, too.
This Think it killed buzz, too.
This Think it killed buzz, too.
This thing was gonna kill every one Thing was gonna kill every one Thing was gonna kill every one of us, and it was gonna kill our Of us, and it was gonna kill our Of us, and it was gonna kill our love, and we don't need a jet Love, and we don't need a jet Love, and we don't need a jet ski, 'cause we got each other.
I Ski, 'cause we got each other.
I Ski, 'cause we got each other.
I did it.
Beat me up if you want Did it.
Beat me up if you want Did it.
Beat me up if you want to.
Shoot me in the foot.
I To.
Shoot me in the foot.
I To.
Shoot me in the foot.
I don't give a shit, but I did Don't give a shit, but I did Don't give a shit, but I did the right thing.
he's absolutely right.
he's absolutely right.
he's absolutely right.
I love you, guys! I love you, guys! I love you, guys! I love you, too.
I love you, too.
I love you, too.
we don't need a jet ski! we don't need a jet ski! we don't need a jet ski! we don't need it! we don't need it! we don't need it! we don't need it.
we don't need it.
we don't need it.
what's more important what's more important what's more important Than friends, right? Than friends, right? Than friends, right? or, at least, cordial or, at least, cordial or, at least, cordial coworkers.
Coworkers.
Coworkers.
All: Cordial coworkers.
All: Cordial coworkers.
All: Cordial coworkers.
90% civil.
90% civil.
90% civil.
I think we should walk away I think we should walk away I think we should walk away 'cause there's still about half 'cause there's still about half 'cause there's still about half a tank of gas in the thing.
A tank of gas in the thing.
A tank of gas in the thing.
yeah, get away.
Get away.
Get yeah, get away.
Get away.
Get yeah, get away.
Get away.
Get away.
Get away.
that jet ski was tearing us that jet ski was tearing us that jet ski was tearing us apart.
We were like a beautiful Apart.
We were like a beautiful Apart.
We were like a beautiful family with only one last piece Family with only one last piece Family with only one last piece of pizza on the table, and we Of pizza on the table, and we Of pizza on the table, and we were gonna kill each other for Were gonna kill each other for Were gonna kill each other for that pizza, and I'm glad it's That pizza, and I'm glad it's That pizza, and I'm glad it's gone.
I think destroyin' it was Gone.
I think destroyin' it was Gone.
I think destroyin' it was the right thing.
The right thing.
The right thing.
if we're like a family that if we're like a family that if we're like a family that would kill each other for pizza, Would kill each other for pizza, Would kill each other for pizza, that's really fucked up.
And That's really fucked up.
And That's really fucked up.
And you know what the weird thing You know what the weird thing You know what the weird thing is? I think we are that family.
Is? I think we are that family.
Is? I think we are that family.
yeah, I ain't sayin' we're a yeah, I ain't sayin' we're a yeah, I ain't sayin' we're a great family.
Great family.
Great family.
no, we're a fucked up no, we're a fucked up no, we're a fucked up family.
Family.
Family.
manson was a family.
manson was a family.
manson was a family.
right.
And we would kill each right.
And we would kill each right.
And we would kill each other for pizza.
And then we'd Other for pizza.
And then we'd Other for pizza.
And then we'd rape the dead one.
Rape the dead one.
Rape the dead one.
even if we weren't hungry.
Or even if we weren't hungry.
Or even if we weren't hungry.
Or horny.
there they are.
there they are.
there they are.
here we go.
What? What? What? here we go.
What? What? What? here we go.
What? What? What? look what we found.
look what we found.
look what we found.
who do you think that is out who do you think that is out who do you think that is out there, huh? There, huh? There, huh? yee-whoo! yee-whoo! yee-whoo! after that big speech? after that big speech? after that big speech? I fell for that.
I fell for that.
I fell for that.
what the fuck? I did, too.
what the fuck? I did, too.
what the fuck? I did, too.
This is what happens when you This is what happens when you This is what happens when you trust a fucking hillbilly.
Trust a fucking hillbilly.
Trust a fucking hillbilly.
right in front of our faces.
say the word lieutenant.
Say say the word lieutenant.
Say say the word lieutenant.
Say the word.
The word.
The word.
Williams: Bring it in! Get him.
Williams: Bring it in! Get him.
Williams: Bring it in! Get him.
Get him.
Get him.
Get him.
Get him.
Get him.
Get him.
Garcia: How you doin', judas? I did this for us.
You think I did this for us.
You think I did this for us.
You think I'm having a good time doing I'm having a good time doing I'm having a good time doing this? No.
I'm taking one for the This? No.
I'm taking one for the This? No.
I'm taking one for the team because this thing was Team because this thing was Team because this thing was tearing us apart.
Tearing us apart.
Tearing us apart.
give it a fucking rest.
You give it a fucking rest.
You give it a fucking rest.
You already gave a speech.
Already gave a speech.
Already gave a speech.
all right.
Fuck it.
all right.
Fuck it.
all right.
Fuck it.
no, what was the end of that? no, what was the end of that? no, what was the end of that? No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
you want a jet ski? Free jet you want a jet ski? Free jet you want a jet ski? Free jet ski.
It's yours.
Ski.
It's yours.
Ski.
It's yours.
it's cursed.
it's cursed.
it's cursed.
no, it ain't cursed.
The no, it ain't cursed.
The no, it ain't cursed.
The throttle sticks a little bit, Throttle sticks a little bit, Throttle sticks a little bit, but it ain't cursed or nothin'.
But it ain't cursed or nothin'.
But it ain't cursed or nothin'.
no, it ain't cursed.
I just no, it ain't cursed.
I just no, it ain't cursed.
I just loss the use of my left hand.
Loss the use of my left hand.
Loss the use of my left hand.
ship out, it's yours.
The ship out, it's yours.
The ship out, it's yours.
The throttle does stick a little Throttle does stick a little Throttle does stick a little bit.
Happy? Bit.
Happy? Bit.
Happy? I think it's more important I think it's more important I think it's more important that none of us is happy.
That none of us is happy.
That none of us is happy.
we're all equally less happy.
we're all equally less happy.
we're all equally less happy.
not one of us is happy.
Yes, not one of us is happy.
Yes, not one of us is happy.
Yes, you got that right.
You got that right.
You got that right.
great, one for all, and all great, one for all, and all great, one for all, and all for one.
For one.
For one.
everybody should be unhappy everybody should be unhappy everybody should be unhappy here.
Here.
Here.
as long as we're the same as long as we're the same as long as we're the same level of unhappy, I think it's Level of unhappy, I think it's Level of unhappy, I think it's fine.
Fine.
Fine.
fine.
Just be careful! No, fine.
Just be careful! No, fine.
Just be careful! No, don't run it too hard! The Don't run it too hard! The Don't run it too hard! The throttle does stick! Throttle does stick! Throttle does stick! is he all right? oh.
oh.
oh.
oh! oh! oh! oh, boy.
Dangle: Scramble.
Scramble.
Dangle: Scramble.
Scramble.
Dangle: Scramble.
Scramble.
Scramble.
Scramble.
Scramble.
Scramble.
Scramble.
Scramble.
fire department, right? Fire fire department, right? Fire fire department, right? Fire department.
Fire department.
Department.
Fire department.
Department.
Fire department.
scramble.
Go.
Go.
Go.
scramble.
Go.
Go.
Go.
scramble.
Go.
Go.
Go.
networks.]
I'm gonna suck the bullet I'm gonna suck the bullet I'm gonna suck the bullet out.
You bite that.
Out.
You bite that.
Out.
You bite that.
I don't want you to suck it I don't want you to suck it I don't want you to suck it out.
I want to go to a doctor.
Out.
I want to go to a doctor.
Out.
I want to go to a doctor.
you want to go to a doctor, you want to go to a doctor, you want to go to a doctor, or you want me to suck it out? Or you want me to suck it out? Or you want me to suck it out? jones is gonna try to kill me jones is gonna try to kill me jones is gonna try to kill me again.
Again.
Again.
just for fun, I'm gonna call just for fun, I'm gonna call just for fun, I'm gonna call the paramedics.
They're about 50 The paramedics.
They're about 50 The paramedics.
They're about 50 yards away.
Yards away.
Yards away.
I'm happy to suck it out.
I'm happy to suck it out.
I'm happy to suck it out.
I don't want you to suck it I don't want you to suck it I don't want you to suck it out.
I want-- Out.
I want-- Out.
I want-- why not call the paramedics? why not call the paramedics? why not call the paramedics? call 'em, but I'm gonna suck call 'em, but I'm gonna suck call 'em, but I'm gonna suck it out either way.
It out either way.
It out either way.
somebody call 911.
somebody call 911.
somebody call 911.
call the paramedics.
By the call the paramedics.
By the call the paramedics.
By the time they get here, it's gonna Time they get here, it's gonna Time they get here, it's gonna be sucked out.
Be sucked out.
Be sucked out.
that's only if you suck it that's only if you suck it that's only if you suck it out.
Out.
Out.
here's what you do.
You don't here's what you do.
You don't here's what you do.
You don't want it right now, but you're Want it right now, but you're Want it right now, but you're gonna be happy when it's out.
guys! Guys! Hey! There is a guys! Guys! Hey! There is a guys! Guys! Hey! There is a full on race riot going on Full on race riot going on Full on race riot going on downtown.
We've gotta move.
Downtown.
We've gotta move.
Downtown.
We've gotta move.
We've gotta move! We've gotta move! We've gotta move! holy shit! holy shit! holy shit! go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! no shooting! No shooting! no shooting! No shooting! no shooting! No shooting! Shields! Shields! Shields! quiet down! All right, let's quiet down! All right, let's quiet down! All right, let's move! Move out! ha ha ha! I don't think she's tripping! I don't think she's tripping! I don't think she's tripping! It was a trick! bah! whoa! Aah! [blows whistle.]
[blows whistle.]
[blows whistle.]
all right.
Ok.
Don't let him all right.
Ok.
Don't let him all right.
Ok.
Don't let him go under-- get back in the building! No get back in the building! No get back in the building! No loitering! Loitering! Loitering! aah! [police siren wails.]
Dangle: Sad news today.
Does Dangle: Sad news today.
Does Dangle: Sad news today.
Does everybody remember deputy buzz? Everybody remember deputy buzz? Everybody remember deputy buzz? He used to stand in the back, He used to stand in the back, He used to stand in the back, right over there? Right over there? Right over there? mm-hmm.
mm-hmm.
mm-hmm.
he, uhHe died.
he, uhHe died.
he, uhHe died.
no.
no.
no.
he did not.
he did not.
he did not.
yeah.
He had a rough couple yeah.
He had a rough couple yeah.
He had a rough couple of years back to back.
You know Of years back to back.
You know Of years back to back.
You know how the missus had left him.
How the missus had left him.
How the missus had left him.
he moved up to truckee.
he moved up to truckee.
he moved up to truckee.
That's the last I heard.
That's the last I heard.
That's the last I heard.
no, he was living in his no, he was living in his no, he was living in his truck.
Truck.
Truck.
he lived in a truck.
He he lived in a truck.
He he lived in a truck.
He wanted to sound big and sound Wanted to sound big and sound Wanted to sound big and sound fancy, so he said I'm living up Fancy, so he said I'm living up Fancy, so he said I'm living up in truckee.
In truckee.
no, not true.
let's be dignified about let's be dignified about let's be dignified about this.
This.
This.
holy shit.
holy shit.
holy shit.
yikes! yikes! yikes! smells like balls.
smells like balls.
smells like balls.
smells like taco balls.
smells like taco balls.
smells like taco balls.
it does smell like taco it does smell like taco it does smell like taco balls.
Uh-oh.
Old tacos, tacos, Balls.
Uh-oh.
Old tacos, tacos, Balls.
Uh-oh.
Old tacos, tacos, tacos, tacos up here.
Tacos, tacos up here.
Tacos, tacos up here.
oh, man.
Oh, buzz.
oh, man.
Oh, buzz.
oh, man.
Oh, buzz.
oh! oh! oh! now, that's not a possible-- now, that's not a possible-- now, that's not a possible-- oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
you're into that? you're into that? you're into that? you're not? you're not? you're not? well, you know what I'm into.
well, you know what I'm into.
well, you know what I'm into.
yeah, but-- yeah, but-- yeah, but-- oh! oh! oh! oh, yes! oh, yes! oh, yes! asian fever pornographic asian fever pornographic asian fever pornographic playing cards.
Playing cards.
Playing cards.
I'll take those.
I'll take those.
I'll take those.
okey-doke.
okey-doke.
okey-doke.
should we say something? should we say something? should we say something? we should say something, we should say something, we should say something, don't you think? Deputy buzz, we Don't you think? Deputy buzz, we Don't you think? Deputy buzz, we stand here with all your Stand here with all your Stand here with all your pornography, your copy of chubby Pornography, your copy of chubby Pornography, your copy of chubby chasmagazine, your squirrel Chasmagazine, your squirrel Chasmagazine, your squirrel hunting shirt, and it reminds us Hunting shirt, and it reminds us Hunting shirt, and it reminds us of our own mortality, and we Of our own mortality, and we Of our own mortality, and we know that these are the days of Know that these are the days of Know that these are the days of our lives.
oh, that's probably the keys oh, that's probably the keys oh, that's probably the keys to his old truck he was livin' To his old truck he was livin' To his old truck he was livin' in.
In.
In.
oh, yeah.
oh, yeah.
oh, yeah.
I guess we should, uh, put I guess we should, uh, put I guess we should, uh, put things in order out there, huh? Things in order out there, huh? Things in order out there, huh? he'd want it that way.
Yup.
he'd want it that way.
Yup.
he'd want it that way.
Yup.
you got all the pornography you got all the pornography you got all the pornography in there? In there? In there? just close the window on old just close the window on old just close the window on old buzz, here.
Bye-bye, buddy.
Buzz, here.
Bye-bye, buddy.
Buzz, here.
Bye-bye, buddy.
well, we still have to get well, we still have to get well, we still have to get that stuff out for dry cleaning.
That stuff out for dry cleaning.
That stuff out for dry cleaning.
Did we close it? Did we close it? Did we close it? this stuff? this stuff? this stuff? yeah.
yeah.
yeah.
dry cleaning? We're gonna dry cleaning? We're gonna dry cleaning? We're gonna re-use his uniform? Re-use his uniform? Re-use his uniform? yeah.
That's what we always yeah.
That's what we always yeah.
That's what we always do.
Always.
Unless it's got a Do.
Always.
Unless it's got a Do.
Always.
Unless it's got a bullet hole, we use it again.
Bullet hole, we use it again.
Bullet hole, we use it again.
That's the policy.
oh, hey, guy.
oh, hey, guy.
oh, hey, guy.
hey, trudy.
hey, trudy.
hey, trudy.
looks like I'm early.
looks like I'm early.
looks like I'm early.
you are a little bit, oh, you are a little bit, oh, you are a little bit, oh, good, you can help me out.
Good, you can help me out.
Good, you can help me out.
yeah, I'd love to.
yeah, I'd love to.
yeah, I'd love to.
that's great.
Could you--I'd that's great.
Could you--I'd that's great.
Could you--I'd really appreciate it, actually, Really appreciate it, actually, Really appreciate it, actually, if you could just grab my balls.
If you could just grab my balls.
If you could just grab my balls.
I wanted to do a little ball I wanted to do a little ball I wanted to do a little ball work in class today.
I have them Work in class today.
I have them Work in class today.
I have them in the back.
While I can, maybe, In the back.
While I can, maybe, In the back.
While I can, maybe, get the babies set up.
Get the babies set up.
Get the babies set up.
oh, go in the back and get oh, go in the back and get oh, go in the back and get your balls.
The birthing balls.
Your balls.
The birthing balls.
Your balls.
The birthing balls.
the birth balls.
the birth balls.
the birth balls.
ok, sure.
Sure.
ok, sure.
Sure.
ok, sure.
Sure.
you look great.
You got a you look great.
You got a you look great.
You got a nice glow about you.
Nice glow about you.
Nice glow about you.
I do? I do? I do? yeah, you do.
yeah, you do.
yeah, you do.
thanks.
You wanna feel? thanks.
You wanna feel? thanks.
You wanna feel? well, I never say no to that.
well, I never say no to that.
well, I never say no to that.
he's kicking.
he's kicking.
he's kicking.
is he? is he? is he? yeah.
Feel.
yeah.
Feel.
yeah.
Feel.
oh, yeah.
Yeah.
oh, yeah.
Yeah.
oh, yeah.
Yeah.
it's actually lower.
He sits it's actually lower.
He sits it's actually lower.
He sits lower.
Lower.
Lower.
hi, ladies.
hi, ladies.
hi, ladies.
it's really low.
For some it's really low.
For some it's really low.
For some reason, he's kicking really low Reason, he's kicking really low Reason, he's kicking really low today.
It's almost--yeah.
Today.
It's almost--yeah.
Today.
It's almost--yeah.
like he's actually moving his like he's actually moving his like he's actually moving his way through your-- Way through your-- Way through your-- yeah, you feel that? yeah, you feel that? yeah, you feel that? I do feel that.
I do feel that.
I do feel that.
my milk hasn't dropped yet.
I my milk hasn't dropped yet.
I my milk hasn't dropped yet.
I don't know.
Is it--can you--is Don't know.
Is it--can you--is Don't know.
Is it--can you--is there a massage you can do to There a massage you can do to There a massage you can do to get them to drop? Get them to drop? Get them to drop? there is.
There's a certain-- there is.
There's a certain-- there is.
There's a certain-- just on top.
A little.
You can Just on top.
A little.
You can Just on top.
A little.
You can go into the chest.
And, Go into the chest.
And, Go into the chest.
And, actually, what's really good, is Actually, what's really good, is Actually, what's really good, is to turn out and get the bulb of To turn out and get the bulb of To turn out and get the bulb of the breast.
Just--just--kind of The breast.
Just--just--kind of The breast.
Just--just--kind of a circular motion.
A circular motion.
A circular motion.
right.
right.
right.
that's good right there.
And that's good right there.
And that's good right there.
And then just with the thumbs.
Then just with the thumbs.
Then just with the thumbs.
right.
right.
right.
just like that.
And it just just like that.
And it just just like that.
And it just helps circulate, and it helps Helps circulate, and it helps Helps circulate, and it helps generate more milk.
Generate more milk.
Generate more milk.
right.
I'm circulating.
I'm right.
I'm circulating.
I'm right.
I'm circulating.
I'm definitely circulating.
Definitely circulating.
Definitely circulating.
yeah, good.
Good.
All right, yeah, good.
Good.
All right, yeah, good.
Good.
All right, well, let's, uh--I don't hear Well, let's, uh--I don't hear Well, let's, uh--I don't hear any breathing.
I wanna hear some Any breathing.
I wanna hear some Any breathing.
I wanna hear some breathing when you guys are Breathing when you guys are Breathing when you guys are coming into class, all right? Coming into class, all right? Coming into class, all right? Let's get to work.
Let's get to work.
Let's get to work.
whoo! oh, god, that's sad.
This is oh, god, that's sad.
This is oh, god, that's sad.
This is where he was living? Where he was living? Where he was living? yup.
Welcome to the love yup.
Welcome to the love yup.
Welcome to the love mobile.
Beautiful home.
Mobile.
Beautiful home.
Mobile.
Beautiful home.
in a cube truck? Lifetime of in a cube truck? Lifetime of in a cube truck? Lifetime of law enforcement.
Law enforcement.
Law enforcement.
All: Oh! All: Oh! All: Oh! shut it! Shut it! shut it! Shut it! shut it! Shut it! jeez, it's just jizz and jeez, it's just jizz and jeez, it's just jizz and dead dog and beer.
Dead dog and beer.
Dead dog and beer.
Wiegel: Ok, that's the life, Wiegel: Ok, that's the life, Wiegel: Ok, that's the life, huh? Huh? Huh? this is it.
This is this is it.
This is this is it.
This is everything he left, huh? Who Everything he left, huh? Who Everything he left, huh? Who wants the truck? Not it! Wants the truck? Not it! Wants the truck? Not it! not it! not it! not it! I say trudy.
Trudy might want I say trudy.
Trudy might want I say trudy.
Trudy might want it.
It.
It.
Dangle: Trudy.
Dangle: Trudy.
Dangle: Trudy.
Willams: Trudy.
You got it, Willams: Trudy.
You got it, Willams: Trudy.
You got it, trudy.
Trudy.
Trudy.
Wiegel: Whoo-hoo! Wiegel: Whoo-hoo! Wiegel: Whoo-hoo! Kimball: Can't say you didn't Kimball: Can't say you didn't Kimball: Can't say you didn't never win anything.
Never win anything.
Never win anything.
Williams: Hold your nose.
Hold Williams: Hold your nose.
Hold Williams: Hold your nose.
Hold your nose.
oh, my god.
more and more kids are more and more kids are more and more kids are throwing around the word Throwing around the word Throwing around the word "pimping" today.
"pimp my ride," "pimping" today.
"pimp my ride," "pimping" today.
"pimp my ride," or "hey, that's pimped out.
" Or "hey, that's pimped out.
" Or "hey, that's pimped out.
" real pimps are dangerous, Real pimps are dangerous, Real pimps are dangerous, usually addicted to dangerous Usually addicted to dangerous Usually addicted to dangerous drugs, and keep their Drugs, and keep their Drugs, and keep their prostitutes in submission Prostitutes in submission Prostitutes in submission through violence.
And, no, they Through violence.
And, no, they Through violence.
And, no, they don't dress cool.
The only Don't dress cool.
The only Don't dress cool.
The only outfit a real pimp is ever Outfit a real pimp is ever Outfit a real pimp is ever guaranteed in life is this one.
Guaranteed in life is this one.
Guaranteed in life is this one.
Think about it.
Garcia: Holy shit.
Garcia: Holy shit.
Garcia: Holy shit.
Junior: I call the jet ski.
Junior: I call the jet ski.
Junior: I call the jet ski.
[everyone yells at once.]
[everyone yells at once.]
[everyone yells at once.]
dangle: No! No! No! No calling Dangle: No! No! No! No calling Dangle: No! No! No! No calling it.
It.
It.
Junior: I feel like I called it Junior: I feel like I called it Junior: I feel like I called it first.
First.
First.
Dangle: Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Step Dangle: Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Step Dangle: Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Step back.
Back.
Back.
ok, can I go on record right ok, can I go on record right ok, can I go on record right this second and say that matt This second and say that matt This second and say that matt buzz is one of my kids daddies? Buzz is one of my kids daddies? Buzz is one of my kids daddies? Dangle: He was white.
Dangle: He was white.
Dangle: He was white.
I know.
One of my kids is I know.
One of my kids is I know.
One of my kids is mixed.
Mixed.
Mixed.
All: No.
All: No.
All: No.
Kimball: How about we auction it Kimball: How about we auction it Kimball: How about we auction it off for charity? Off for charity? Off for charity? Williams: How about you shut up, Williams: How about you shut up, Williams: How about you shut up, fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Dangle: You gotta be fucking Dangle: You gotta be fucking Dangle: You gotta be fucking kidding, right? Kidding, right? Kidding, right? Wiegel: Go to hell.
Wiegel: Go to hell.
Wiegel: Go to hell.
ok, here's what we'll do.
ok, here's what we'll do.
ok, here's what we'll do.
Everyone, I'm thinking of a-- Everyone, I'm thinking of a-- Everyone, I'm thinking of a-- 7! 7! 7! I was gonna say color.
I was gonna say color.
I was gonna say color.
Garcia: Blue! Garcia: Blue! Garcia: Blue! let's cut cards.
let's cut cards.
let's cut cards.
that'd be much better, that'd be much better, that'd be much better, actually.
Actually.
Actually.
this settles it.
Who ever this settles it.
Who ever this settles it.
Who ever gets the highest card.
Gets the highest card.
Gets the highest card.
agreed.
This is a fair way.
agreed.
This is a fair way.
agreed.
This is a fair way.
do it.
Don't jump like a do it.
Don't jump like a do it.
Don't jump like a bunch of rats.
Bunch of rats.
Bunch of rats.
clear the cards! clear the cards! clear the cards! don't fucking hit me.
don't fucking hit me.
don't fucking hit me.
you took mine! You tried to you took mine! You tried to you took mine! You tried to take mine! Take mine! Take mine! 8.
8.
8.
I'm out.
I got a 4.
I'm out.
I got a 4.
I'm out.
I got a 4.
I got a sticky 5.
I got a sticky 5.
I got a sticky 5.
8.
Can you beat it? 8.
Can you beat it? 8.
Can you beat it? 10.
10.
10.
he won! he won! he won! I got an ace.
I got an ace.
I got an ace.
bullshit.
Let's see it.
bullshit.
Let's see it.
bullshit.
Let's see it.
Son of a bitch.
Son of a bitch.
Son of a bitch.
no way! She didn't even know no way! She didn't even know no way! She didn't even know matt buzz.
Matt buzz.
Matt buzz.
she shouldn't have even she shouldn't have even she shouldn't have even gotten to draw because she Gotten to draw because she Gotten to draw because she didn't know buzz.
Didn't know buzz.
Didn't know buzz.
ok, kimball gets first draw ok, kimball gets first draw ok, kimball gets first draw on the re-shuffle.
On the re-shuffle.
On the re-shuffle.
no! Uh-uh! No! I won it fair no! Uh-uh! No! I won it fair no! Uh-uh! No! I won it fair and square! We all agreed! No And square! We all agreed! No And square! We all agreed! No ifs, ands, or butts! We all Ifs, ands, or butts! We all Ifs, ands, or butts! We all agreed that it would settle it! Agreed that it would settle it! Agreed that it would settle it! did we? I don't remember.
did we? I don't remember.
did we? I don't remember.
yes, we did.
yes, we did.
yes, we did.
I don't remember that.
I don't remember that.
I don't remember that.
oh, screw all y'all.
This is oh, screw all y'all.
This is oh, screw all y'all.
This is mine.
Mine.
Mine.
are you calling my best are you calling my best are you calling my best friend kimball a liar? Friend kimball a liar? Friend kimball a liar? you're a beautiful woman and you're a beautiful woman and you're a beautiful woman and you look good.
You look good.
You look good.
bite me! Bite me! Hey! Hey! bite me! Bite me! Hey! Hey! bite me! Bite me! Hey! Hey! Somebody! Hey! I love the jet ski.
I feel I love the jet ski.
I feel I love the jet ski.
I feel like it's given me a new lease Like it's given me a new lease Like it's given me a new lease on life.
I might start making On life.
I might start making On life.
I might start making all kinds of changesAfter All kinds of changesAfter All kinds of changesAfter having sped across the glassy Having sped across the glassy Having sped across the glassy waters.
Waters.
Waters.
are you saying it's gonna are you saying it's gonna are you saying it's gonna make you come out as a lesbian? Make you come out as a lesbian? Make you come out as a lesbian? no, sir, I am not.
no, sir, I am not.
no, sir, I am not.
that was code for that.
that was code for that.
that was code for that.
no, it is not.
no, it is not.
no, it is not.
yes, it was.
It was code for yes, it was.
It was code for yes, it was.
It was code for that she's gonna come out as a That she's gonna come out as a That she's gonna come out as a lesbian.
I have no problem with Lesbian.
I have no problem with Lesbian.
I have no problem with it.
I'm all for it, in fact.
It.
I'm all for it, in fact.
It.
I'm all for it, in fact.
yeah, I think I'll just ride yeah, I think I'll just ride yeah, I think I'll just ride that jet ski from gay bar to gay That jet ski from gay bar to gay That jet ski from gay bar to gay bar, and pick up all my lesbian Bar, and pick up all my lesbian Bar, and pick up all my lesbian girlfriends.
Girlfriends.
Girlfriends.
well, that's what I was gonna well, that's what I was gonna well, that's what I was gonna do if I got it.
Do if I got it.
Do if I got it.
and I think I might have sex and I think I might have sex and I think I might have sex with a goat, too, because, With a goat, too, because, With a goat, too, because, apparently, I like bestiality Apparently, I like bestiality Apparently, I like bestiality because I don't walk around in Because I don't walk around in Because I don't walk around in little skirts and high heels all Little skirts and high heels all Little skirts and high heels all the time.
The time.
The time.
you immediately compare gay you immediately compare gay you immediately compare gay sex to bestiality.
A lot of Sex to bestiality.
A lot of Sex to bestiality.
A lot of people do that.
That's a really People do that.
That's a really People do that.
That's a really interesting fact.
Interesting fact.
Interesting fact.
I didn't, I just think it's a I didn't, I just think it's a I didn't, I just think it's a slippery slope.
Slippery slope.
Slippery slope.
apparently, you slide off of apparently, you slide off of apparently, you slide off of it from gay sex, and you end up It from gay sex, and you end up It from gay sex, and you end up with your penis in an animal.
well, they were doing a toys well, they were doing a toys well, they were doing a toys for guns program-- For guns program-- For guns program-- there it is.
There it is.
there it is.
There it is.
there it is.
There it is.
here we go.
Where you turn in here we go.
Where you turn in here we go.
Where you turn in your gun, and you get a toy.
So, Your gun, and you get a toy.
So, Your gun, and you get a toy.
So, anyway, we sent out trudy to Anyway, we sent out trudy to Anyway, we sent out trudy to pick up the boxes full of guns.
Pick up the boxes full of guns.
Pick up the boxes full of guns.
She did, came back to the She did, came back to the She did, came back to the station, no boxes of guns.
Station, no boxes of guns.
Station, no boxes of guns.
yeah.
yeah.
yeah.
bingo.
bingo.
bingo.
yup.
yup.
yup.
son of a bitch.
Here's what son of a bitch.
Here's what son of a bitch.
Here's what you did.
I'm trudy, ok? Sets it You did.
I'm trudy, ok? Sets it You did.
I'm trudy, ok? Sets it on the thing, gets in, pulls On the thing, gets in, pulls On the thing, gets in, pulls out.
I've done it with a coffee Out.
I've done it with a coffee Out.
I've done it with a coffee cup sometimes.
Ha! Bingo.
Cup sometimes.
Ha! Bingo.
Cup sometimes.
Ha! Bingo.
ooh, nice one, too.
ooh, nice one, too.
ooh, nice one, too.
what type? what type? what type? little beretta.
little beretta.
little beretta.
what's that, a luger? what's that, a luger? what's that, a luger? a lot of stars out tonight.
a lot of stars out tonight.
a lot of stars out tonight.
beautiful.
beautiful.
beautiful.
now, which one did you say now, which one did you say now, which one did you say was on your ass from the spork? Was on your ass from the spork? Was on your ass from the spork? ok, the spork scar on my ass ok, the spork scar on my ass ok, the spork scar on my ass looks like orion, who is the Looks like orion, who is the Looks like orion, who is the hunter.
Hunter.
Hunter.
I do not see what you're I do not see what you're I do not see what you're talking about.
Talking about.
Talking about.
right there.
You can't see right there.
You can't see right there.
You can't see his belt, his quiver, and his His belt, his quiver, and his His belt, his quiver, and his boots, and there's north? Boots, and there's north? Boots, and there's north? there's the jackalope right there's the jackalope right there's the jackalope right there.
There.
There.
the what? the what? the what? the jackalope.
the jackalope.
the jackalope.
the jackalope's not a the jackalope's not a the jackalope's not a constellation.
The jackalope? Constellation.
The jackalope? Constellation.
The jackalope? jackalope.
Right there.
jackalope.
Right there.
jackalope.
Right there.
is that a hillbilly is that a hillbilly is that a hillbilly constellation? Constellation? Constellation? it's a constellation.
it's a constellation.
it's a constellation.
it's a hillbilly it's a hillbilly it's a hillbilly constellation.
Constellation.
Constellation.
it's a mythical creature.
it's a mythical creature.
it's a mythical creature.
this is something that this is something that this is something that hillbillies make up when they're Hillbillies make up when they're Hillbillies make up when they're high.
There is no jackalope High.
There is no jackalope High.
There is no jackalope constellation.
Constellation.
Constellation.
as opposed to the hunter, as opposed to the hunter, as opposed to the hunter, with his shiver, and his zipper With his shiver, and his zipper With his shiver, and his zipper over there.
Over there.
Over there.
his quiver.
his quiver.
his quiver.
he can't move.
he can't move.
he can't move.
of course he can't move.
He's of course he can't move.
He's of course he can't move.
He's a constellation.
get on it.
get on it.
get on it.
operation let's do this is in operation let's do this is in operation let's do this is in order.
Order.
Order.
let's go.
wait.
Let's just go.
wait.
Let's just go.
wait.
Let's just go.
go.
ha ha! ha ha! ha ha! [gun cocks.]
[gun cocks.]
[gun cocks.]
how you doin', fellas? say what you want.
People say what you want.
People say what you want.
People today are getting dumber and Today are getting dumber and Today are getting dumber and dumber and--oh god! Dumber and--oh god! Dumber and--oh god! shit! shit! shit! sorry.
Sorry.
sorry.
Sorry.
sorry.
Sorry.
shit shit.
shit shit.
shit shit.
what the hell you gonna do what the hell you gonna do what the hell you gonna do with that? With that? With that? I'm makin' a gun papoose.
I'm makin' a gun papoose.
I'm makin' a gun papoose.
that's indian? that's indian? that's indian? watch and-- watch and-- watch and-- shit.
shit.
shit.
sorry.
Sorry.
Ok, that one's sorry.
Sorry.
Ok, that one's sorry.
Sorry.
Ok, that one's loaded.
That goes in the back of Loaded.
That goes in the back of Loaded.
That goes in the back of the pants.
This is the sort of The pants.
This is the sort of The pants.
This is the sort of things we learned in the scouts.
Things we learned in the scouts.
Things we learned in the scouts.
why didn't you just remember why didn't you just remember why didn't you just remember your fucking Your fucking Your fucking prepared, I thought you boys Prepared, I thought you boys Prepared, I thought you boys said.
Said.
Said.
but when you can't be but when you can't be but when you can't be prepared, be prepared to make a Prepared, be prepared to make a Prepared, be prepared to make a papoose.
Papoose.
Papoose.
[chants like a native american.]
[chants like a native american.]
[chants like a native american.]
I come with my great papoose of I come with my great papoose of I come with my great papoose of iron swiftness.
Iron swiftness.
Iron swiftness.
you look incredibly majestic.
you look incredibly majestic.
you look incredibly majestic.
thank you.
Good god.
I hope thank you.
Good god.
I hope thank you.
Good god.
I hope you get the whole malibu barbie You get the whole malibu barbie You get the whole malibu barbie dream house for this, at least, Dream house for this, at least, Dream house for this, at least, right? what's wrong? what's wrong? what's wrong? you're gloating.
you're gloating.
you're gloating.
do you feel like you have do you feel like you have do you feel like you have some power? Some power? Some power? mm-hmm.
mm-hmm.
mm-hmm.
no! I feel that I don't have no! I feel that I don't have no! I feel that I don't have power, I feel like I have a jet Power, I feel like I have a jet Power, I feel like I have a jet ski.
I feel like I'm awesome.
Ski.
I feel like I'm awesome.
Ski.
I feel like I'm awesome.
if something happens to you, if something happens to you, if something happens to you, I get the jet ski.
I'm number 2, I get the jet ski.
I'm number 2, I get the jet ski.
I'm number 2, ok? Ok? Ok? what do you mean, if what do you mean, if what do you mean, if something happens to me? Something happens to me? Something happens to me? if something happens to me, I if something happens to me, I if something happens to me, I think dangle's next in line.
Think dangle's next in line.
Think dangle's next in line.
well, guess what? I'm tough.
well, guess what? I'm tough.
well, guess what? I'm tough.
Ok? I'm a survivor.
Ok? I'm a survivor.
Ok? I'm a survivor.
process that, big boy, lucky process that, big boy, lucky process that, big boy, lucky lady.
Lady.
Lady.
would that be me? would that be me? would that be me? huh? huh? huh? would that be me? would that be me? would that be me? somebody's got a jet ski.
somebody's got a jet ski.
somebody's got a jet ski.
somebody's a lucky lady.
somebody's a lucky lady.
somebody's a lucky lady.
it's a little wet on the it's a little wet on the it's a little wet on the bottom.
Bottom.
Bottom.
all right.
all right.
all right.
she looks tan to me.
It makes she looks tan to me.
It makes she looks tan to me.
It makes me sick.
Me sick.
Me sick.
little bitch looks healthy.
little bitch looks healthy.
little bitch looks healthy.
oh, yeah.
Throwin' it up in oh, yeah.
Throwin' it up in oh, yeah.
Throwin' it up in everybody's face.
"I got the jet Everybody's face.
"I got the jet Everybody's face.
"I got the jet ski! I got the jet ski!" Ski! I got the jet ski!" Ski! I got the jet ski!" she didn't even know buzz.
she didn't even know buzz.
she didn't even know buzz.
no! no! no! [crash and a gunshot.]
[crash and a gunshot.]
[crash and a gunshot.]
kimball: Aah! Kimball: Aah! Kimball: Aah! Jones: Oh, no.
Oh, my god.
Oh, Jones: Oh, no.
Oh, my god.
Oh, Jones: Oh, no.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
My god.
My god.
Williams: Oh, my! Williams: Oh, my! Williams: Oh, my! Dangle: Holy shit! Holy Dangle: Holy shit! Holy Dangle: Holy shit! Holy shit! Shit! Shit! what happened? what happened? what happened? he shot me in the hand! What he shot me in the hand! What he shot me in the hand! What does it look like? He shot me! Does it look like? He shot me! Does it look like? He shot me! no, I didn't shoot her.
Well, no, I didn't shoot her.
Well, no, I didn't shoot her.
Well, hold on.
Don't do that.
Don't do Hold on.
Don't do that.
Don't do Hold on.
Don't do that.
Don't do that! That! That! what'd you do?! what'd you do?! what'd you do?! jimmy, hold on.
jimmy, hold on.
jimmy, hold on.
Kimball: Did you want it that Kimball: Did you want it that Kimball: Did you want it that bad?! Bad?! Bad?! Junior: You shot her? Junior: You shot her? Junior: You shot her? Jones: No, I slipped--no, hold Jones: No, I slipped--no, hold Jones: No, I slipped--no, hold on.
I slipped.
On.
I slipped.
On.
I slipped.
Williams: I said hold on! Williams: I said hold on! Williams: I said hold on! Dangle: Hey, don't draw your gun Dangle: Hey, don't draw your gun Dangle: Hey, don't draw your gun on him.
Do not draw your gun on On him.
Do not draw your gun on On him.
Do not draw your gun on him.
Him.
Him.
Jones: Hey, stop it.
Jones: Hey, stop it.
Jones: Hey, stop it.
Dangle: Put it up.
Dangle: Put it up.
Dangle: Put it up.
Jones: Everybody put down your Jones: Everybody put down your Jones: Everybody put down your gun! Gun! Gun! Junior: I'm on your side! Junior: I'm on your side! Junior: I'm on your side! Kimball: Right before we left Kimball: Right before we left Kimball: Right before we left this room, he said if something This room, he said if something This room, he said if something should happen to you, he would Should happen to you, he would Should happen to you, he would get the jet ski.
Get the jet ski.
Get the jet ski.
Jones: Hold on! Who had the box Jones: Hold on! Who had the box Jones: Hold on! Who had the box first?! First?! First?! Junior: Are you saying we rigged Junior: Are you saying we rigged Junior: Are you saying we rigged the box to shoot kimball? The box to shoot kimball? The box to shoot kimball? Jones: You told us it was wet.
Jones: You told us it was wet.
Jones: You told us it was wet.
Dangle: We didn't, if that's Dangle: We didn't, if that's Dangle: We didn't, if that's what you're thinking.
What you're thinking.
What you're thinking.
Jones: You said the box was Jones: You said the box was Jones: You said the box was heavy and it was wet! Heavy and it was wet! Heavy and it was wet! Dangle: You couldn't do that! It Dangle: You couldn't do that! It Dangle: You couldn't do that! It couldn't be done! It's Couldn't be done! It's Couldn't be done! It's impossible! Impossible! Impossible! Jones: You fucking shot her, I Jones: You fucking shot her, I Jones: You fucking shot her, I get the jet ski! You shot her! I Get the jet ski! You shot her! I Get the jet ski! You shot her! I get the jet ski! Get the jet ski! Get the jet ski! Kimball: Just lock him up.
Kimball: Just lock him up.
Kimball: Just lock him up.
Dangle: Be careful out there.
Dangle: Be careful out there.
Dangle: Be careful out there.
Williams: Well, wait a minute.
I Williams: Well, wait a minute.
I Williams: Well, wait a minute.
I just pulled my gun out.
Now, Just pulled my gun out.
Now, Just pulled my gun out.
Now, everybody, it's over? why should jones not get the why should jones not get the why should jones not get the jet ski? Ok, this is gonna sound Jet ski? Ok, this is gonna sound Jet ski? Ok, this is gonna sound racist.
I'm gonna try to think Racist.
I'm gonna try to think Racist.
I'm gonna try to think of way to make this not sound Of way to make this not sound Of way to make this not sound racist.
Racist.
Racist.
blacks don't swim.
blacks don't swim.
blacks don't swim.
ah! That's exactly what I was ah! That's exactly what I was ah! That's exactly what I was trying to think of a way to make Trying to think of a way to make Trying to think of a way to make it sound-- It sound-- It sound-- they don't.
They don't.
they don't.
They don't.
they don't.
They don't.
no.
They're like cats.
hello.
Can I see your hello.
Can I see your hello.
Can I see your driver's license? Driver's license? Driver's license? how dare you, sir? How dare how dare you, sir? How dare how dare you, sir? How dare you pull me over while I'm You pull me over while I'm You pull me over while I'm trying to drive?! Flashing your Trying to drive?! Flashing your Trying to drive?! Flashing your lights, blaring your siren.
Lights, blaring your siren.
Lights, blaring your siren.
You're gonna run someone off the You're gonna run someone off the You're gonna run someone off the road.
How dare you? Road.
How dare you? Road.
How dare you? how dare me? how dare me? how dare me? how dare you? Do you know who how dare you? Do you know who how dare you? Do you know who I am? I am? I am? no, ma'am, we don't know who no, ma'am, we don't know who no, ma'am, we don't know who you are.
That's why we're asking You are.
That's why we're asking You are.
That's why we're asking for your license.
For your license.
For your license.
this is ridiculous.
I don't this is ridiculous.
I don't this is ridiculous.
I don't have a driver's license.
I'm Have a driver's license.
I'm Have a driver's license.
I'm from new york.
Samantha thought From new york.
Samantha thought From new york.
Samantha thought it would be so cute, and so It would be so cute, and so It would be so cute, and so kitsch to have her wedding in Kitsch to have her wedding in Kitsch to have her wedding in reno.
Well, it is not cute, and Reno.
Well, it is not cute, and Reno.
Well, it is not cute, and it is not kitsch! It is a fouled It is not kitsch! It is a fouled It is not kitsch! It is a fouled up nightmare, and I just want-- Up nightmare, and I just want-- Up nightmare, and I just want-- calm down.
calm down.
calm down.
and I just don't understand and I just don't understand and I just don't understand why I'm always the bridesmaid, Why I'm always the bridesmaid, Why I'm always the bridesmaid, and never the bride! Don't you And never the bride! Don't you And never the bride! Don't you touch me.
Touch me.
Touch me.
how dare you.
how dare you.
how dare you.
are you getting all this? I are you getting all this? I are you getting all this? I hope you're getting all this.
Hope you're getting all this.
Hope you're getting all this.
don't talk to him.
don't talk to him.
don't talk to him.
wait till you meet me lawyer.
wait till you meet me lawyer.
wait till you meet me lawyer.
You're gonna love him, buddy.
Go You're gonna love him, buddy.
Go You're gonna love him, buddy.
Go ahead.
Don't touch me.
Aah! Ahead.
Don't touch me.
Aah! Ahead.
Don't touch me.
Aah! Don't you dare--aah! Rape! Rape! Don't you dare--aah! Rape! Rape! Don't you dare--aah! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! no rape! No rape! no rape! No rape! no rape! No rape! jones, can I talk to you.
jones, can I talk to you.
jones, can I talk to you.
Stay right there, ma'am.
Stay right there, ma'am.
Stay right there, ma'am.
you stay.
you stay.
you stay.
shush, ma'am.
Just keep shush, ma'am.
Just keep shush, ma'am.
Just keep quiet.
Is she the--what the Quiet.
Is she the--what the Quiet.
Is she the--what the hell? Hey! Hell? Hey! Hell? Hey! what're you doing? what're you doing? what're you doing? oh, my god! Oh! Oh! oh, my god! Oh! Oh! oh, my god! Oh! Oh! Jones: Oh, my god.
Jones: Oh, my god.
Jones: Oh, my god.
you all right, jones? 11 you all right, jones? 11 you all right, jones? 11 daniel 35.
We got a cameraman Daniel 35.
We got a cameraman Daniel 35.
We got a cameraman down.
what the hell? What the hell? what the hell? What the hell? what the hell? What the hell? what did you do?! what did you do?! what did you do?! oh, my gosh.
oh, my gosh.
oh, my gosh.
what happened? what happened? what happened? what the hell? what the hell? what the hell? what the fuck?! Fire! what the fuck?! Fire! what the fuck?! Fire! it's not worth it! Stop it! it's not worth it! Stop it! it's not worth it! Stop it! what the hell? Why?! Why?! what the hell? Why?! Why?! what the hell? Why?! Why?! calm down.
Calm down.
calm down.
Calm down.
calm down.
Calm down.
I did it.
I did it.
I did it.
why? You fucking did that? why? You fucking did that? why? You fucking did that? this thing was tearing us this thing was tearing us this thing was tearing us apart.
Like, before we had this Apart.
Like, before we had this Apart.
Like, before we had this thing, I don't know if we were Thing, I don't know if we were Thing, I don't know if we were friends, but we were cordial, Friends, but we were cordial, Friends, but we were cordial, you know? We wasn't yellin' at You know? We wasn't yellin' at You know? We wasn't yellin' at each other, and pointin' guns at Each other, and pointin' guns at Each other, and pointin' guns at each other.
This thing was like Each other.
This thing was like Each other.
This thing was like an evil cursed treasure, and I An evil cursed treasure, and I An evil cursed treasure, and I think it killed buzz, too.
This Think it killed buzz, too.
This Think it killed buzz, too.
This thing was gonna kill every one Thing was gonna kill every one Thing was gonna kill every one of us, and it was gonna kill our Of us, and it was gonna kill our Of us, and it was gonna kill our love, and we don't need a jet Love, and we don't need a jet Love, and we don't need a jet ski, 'cause we got each other.
I Ski, 'cause we got each other.
I Ski, 'cause we got each other.
I did it.
Beat me up if you want Did it.
Beat me up if you want Did it.
Beat me up if you want to.
Shoot me in the foot.
I To.
Shoot me in the foot.
I To.
Shoot me in the foot.
I don't give a shit, but I did Don't give a shit, but I did Don't give a shit, but I did the right thing.
he's absolutely right.
he's absolutely right.
he's absolutely right.
I love you, guys! I love you, guys! I love you, guys! I love you, too.
I love you, too.
I love you, too.
we don't need a jet ski! we don't need a jet ski! we don't need a jet ski! we don't need it! we don't need it! we don't need it! we don't need it.
we don't need it.
we don't need it.
what's more important what's more important what's more important Than friends, right? Than friends, right? Than friends, right? or, at least, cordial or, at least, cordial or, at least, cordial coworkers.
Coworkers.
Coworkers.
All: Cordial coworkers.
All: Cordial coworkers.
All: Cordial coworkers.
90% civil.
90% civil.
90% civil.
I think we should walk away I think we should walk away I think we should walk away 'cause there's still about half 'cause there's still about half 'cause there's still about half a tank of gas in the thing.
A tank of gas in the thing.
A tank of gas in the thing.
yeah, get away.
Get away.
Get yeah, get away.
Get away.
Get yeah, get away.
Get away.
Get away.
Get away.
that jet ski was tearing us that jet ski was tearing us that jet ski was tearing us apart.
We were like a beautiful Apart.
We were like a beautiful Apart.
We were like a beautiful family with only one last piece Family with only one last piece Family with only one last piece of pizza on the table, and we Of pizza on the table, and we Of pizza on the table, and we were gonna kill each other for Were gonna kill each other for Were gonna kill each other for that pizza, and I'm glad it's That pizza, and I'm glad it's That pizza, and I'm glad it's gone.
I think destroyin' it was Gone.
I think destroyin' it was Gone.
I think destroyin' it was the right thing.
The right thing.
The right thing.
if we're like a family that if we're like a family that if we're like a family that would kill each other for pizza, Would kill each other for pizza, Would kill each other for pizza, that's really fucked up.
And That's really fucked up.
And That's really fucked up.
And you know what the weird thing You know what the weird thing You know what the weird thing is? I think we are that family.
Is? I think we are that family.
Is? I think we are that family.
yeah, I ain't sayin' we're a yeah, I ain't sayin' we're a yeah, I ain't sayin' we're a great family.
Great family.
Great family.
no, we're a fucked up no, we're a fucked up no, we're a fucked up family.
Family.
Family.
manson was a family.
manson was a family.
manson was a family.
right.
And we would kill each right.
And we would kill each right.
And we would kill each other for pizza.
And then we'd Other for pizza.
And then we'd Other for pizza.
And then we'd rape the dead one.
Rape the dead one.
Rape the dead one.
even if we weren't hungry.
Or even if we weren't hungry.
Or even if we weren't hungry.
Or horny.
there they are.
there they are.
there they are.
here we go.
What? What? What? here we go.
What? What? What? here we go.
What? What? What? look what we found.
look what we found.
look what we found.
who do you think that is out who do you think that is out who do you think that is out there, huh? There, huh? There, huh? yee-whoo! yee-whoo! yee-whoo! after that big speech? after that big speech? after that big speech? I fell for that.
I fell for that.
I fell for that.
what the fuck? I did, too.
what the fuck? I did, too.
what the fuck? I did, too.
This is what happens when you This is what happens when you This is what happens when you trust a fucking hillbilly.
Trust a fucking hillbilly.
Trust a fucking hillbilly.
right in front of our faces.
say the word lieutenant.
Say say the word lieutenant.
Say say the word lieutenant.
Say the word.
The word.
The word.
Williams: Bring it in! Get him.
Williams: Bring it in! Get him.
Williams: Bring it in! Get him.
Get him.
Get him.
Get him.
Get him.
Get him.
Get him.
Garcia: How you doin', judas? I did this for us.
You think I did this for us.
You think I did this for us.
You think I'm having a good time doing I'm having a good time doing I'm having a good time doing this? No.
I'm taking one for the This? No.
I'm taking one for the This? No.
I'm taking one for the team because this thing was Team because this thing was Team because this thing was tearing us apart.
Tearing us apart.
Tearing us apart.
give it a fucking rest.
You give it a fucking rest.
You give it a fucking rest.
You already gave a speech.
Already gave a speech.
Already gave a speech.
all right.
Fuck it.
all right.
Fuck it.
all right.
Fuck it.
no, what was the end of that? no, what was the end of that? no, what was the end of that? No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
you want a jet ski? Free jet you want a jet ski? Free jet you want a jet ski? Free jet ski.
It's yours.
Ski.
It's yours.
Ski.
It's yours.
it's cursed.
it's cursed.
it's cursed.
no, it ain't cursed.
The no, it ain't cursed.
The no, it ain't cursed.
The throttle sticks a little bit, Throttle sticks a little bit, Throttle sticks a little bit, but it ain't cursed or nothin'.
But it ain't cursed or nothin'.
But it ain't cursed or nothin'.
no, it ain't cursed.
I just no, it ain't cursed.
I just no, it ain't cursed.
I just loss the use of my left hand.
Loss the use of my left hand.
Loss the use of my left hand.
ship out, it's yours.
The ship out, it's yours.
The ship out, it's yours.
The throttle does stick a little Throttle does stick a little Throttle does stick a little bit.
Happy? Bit.
Happy? Bit.
Happy? I think it's more important I think it's more important I think it's more important that none of us is happy.
That none of us is happy.
That none of us is happy.
we're all equally less happy.
we're all equally less happy.
we're all equally less happy.
not one of us is happy.
Yes, not one of us is happy.
Yes, not one of us is happy.
Yes, you got that right.
You got that right.
You got that right.
great, one for all, and all great, one for all, and all great, one for all, and all for one.
For one.
For one.
everybody should be unhappy everybody should be unhappy everybody should be unhappy here.
Here.
Here.
as long as we're the same as long as we're the same as long as we're the same level of unhappy, I think it's Level of unhappy, I think it's Level of unhappy, I think it's fine.
Fine.
Fine.
fine.
Just be careful! No, fine.
Just be careful! No, fine.
Just be careful! No, don't run it too hard! The Don't run it too hard! The Don't run it too hard! The throttle does stick! Throttle does stick! Throttle does stick! is he all right? oh.
oh.
oh.
oh! oh! oh! oh, boy.
Dangle: Scramble.
Scramble.
Dangle: Scramble.
Scramble.
Dangle: Scramble.
Scramble.
Scramble.
Scramble.
Scramble.
Scramble.
Scramble.
Scramble.
fire department, right? Fire fire department, right? Fire fire department, right? Fire department.
Fire department.
Department.
Fire department.
Department.
Fire department.
scramble.
Go.
Go.
Go.
scramble.
Go.
Go.
Go.
scramble.
Go.
Go.
Go.
networks.]
I'm gonna suck the bullet I'm gonna suck the bullet I'm gonna suck the bullet out.
You bite that.
Out.
You bite that.
Out.
You bite that.
I don't want you to suck it I don't want you to suck it I don't want you to suck it out.
I want to go to a doctor.
Out.
I want to go to a doctor.
Out.
I want to go to a doctor.
you want to go to a doctor, you want to go to a doctor, you want to go to a doctor, or you want me to suck it out? Or you want me to suck it out? Or you want me to suck it out? jones is gonna try to kill me jones is gonna try to kill me jones is gonna try to kill me again.
Again.
Again.
just for fun, I'm gonna call just for fun, I'm gonna call just for fun, I'm gonna call the paramedics.
They're about 50 The paramedics.
They're about 50 The paramedics.
They're about 50 yards away.
Yards away.
Yards away.
I'm happy to suck it out.
I'm happy to suck it out.
I'm happy to suck it out.
I don't want you to suck it I don't want you to suck it I don't want you to suck it out.
I want-- Out.
I want-- Out.
I want-- why not call the paramedics? why not call the paramedics? why not call the paramedics? call 'em, but I'm gonna suck call 'em, but I'm gonna suck call 'em, but I'm gonna suck it out either way.
It out either way.
It out either way.
somebody call 911.
somebody call 911.
somebody call 911.
call the paramedics.
By the call the paramedics.
By the call the paramedics.
By the time they get here, it's gonna Time they get here, it's gonna Time they get here, it's gonna be sucked out.
Be sucked out.
Be sucked out.
that's only if you suck it that's only if you suck it that's only if you suck it out.
Out.
Out.
here's what you do.
You don't here's what you do.
You don't here's what you do.
You don't want it right now, but you're Want it right now, but you're Want it right now, but you're gonna be happy when it's out.