Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators (2018) s04e03 Episode Script
Too Much of Water
1
SHE SCREAMS
So, the other thing she does is
before a film she works out
for three hours a day, which I
probably won't manage but the two
and a half litres of water,
I'm going to try that, because
it gives you this glow and you've
seen the glow and her skin just
looks amazing
- PHONE CHIMES
- Oh, hang on.
What? What's wrong? You are kidding me? What? What's wrong? Wrong? Couldn't be more right.
We've only been nominated Best Small Detective Agency of the Year.
No? Yes! Let me see that! "The Federation of Private Investigators, "bracket, West Midlands and Surrounding Region, bracket, "are delighted to inform you of your nomination for "Small Detective Agency Of The Year.
" THEY CHEER HE CHUCKLES Fancy pants ceremony at The Old Avon Hotel.
A big posh do.
Anyone who's anyone.
Get your glad-rags on, we have arrived.
What am I going to wear? Never mind what YOU'RE going to wear.
What am I going to wear? Well, I tell you what I am going to do I'm going to start my two litres of water a day from now.
Two litres? Yeah.
You'll never be off the loo.
Yeah, but I'll look great.
Open up.
Come on.
This is urgent.
BANGING AT DOOR Oi! Be careful with that wood, it's Grade II listed, this building.
Are you looking for us? Shakespeare and Hathaway.
You've really got to help me.
I'm desperate.
So, let's get this straight.
Nine months ago, you threw a huge bash for your wife's 40th birthday, she blew out the candles on her cake, walked off the dance floor and you never saw her again? Until they found her the next morning, about a mile downstream.
That's just awful.
I'm really sorry for your loss.
How do you think we can help you? Coroner's Inquest from yesterday.
Verdict inconclusive.
Look, I used to be in CID.
Water deaths are notoriously difficult to solve.
There's no way Ophelia would go anywhere near the water, she was terrified, an absolute phobia.
I own the biggest boat company on the Avon, she wouldn't go on any of them.
Can I ask, then, how you came to be having the party at a hotel on the river? Er, my business partner, she thought it would be a good chance to take out the little row boats.
Take the guests up and down stream.
Show the hotel what we could do for future events.
OK, so it was a marketing opportunity as well as your wife's birthday.
And presumably you could write it off as a business expense.
Sounds sensible to me.
Look, trade isn't what it was.
We have had to try out new things, diversify.
Anything wrong with that? It says here that you and your wife were separated, and awaiting a divorce.
Lies.
All lies! Mr Skylark, if we're going to help you, we are going to need to know the facts.
Yes, yes.
We'd been split up for a few weeks, but I thought we'd work our way back to each other, just like we always did.
That was why I wanted to have the party, to show her how much .
.
how much she meant to me.
Look, someone must know the truth.
I need closure, I can't live like this any more.
You're my only hope.
Well, we could start by retracing your wife's last moments.
You'll take the case? Please, they really need to know Sorry, who's "they"? I should have mentioned it.
Ophelia was insured for £500,000, but with a suicide clause and an open verdict, they're refusing to pay out.
And you think she was murdered? What else could it be? So, they found one of these boats, empty, with one of her shoes, a champagne bottle and two empty glasses.
Well, the marketing certainly worked.
Oh! You're going to drink all this in a day? Yeah.
Oh, Frank, it says the state of the body suggests she had been in the water for over 15 hours.
Her were lungs full of water, so she was breathing when she went in.
She was alive, but did she fall or was she pushed? What else does it say in the autopsy? Ooh.
I've never looked at an autopsy before.
Just ignore the pictures, look at the words.
OK.
It says, "Marks and wounds in keeping with contusions?" font color="#FFFF00" ".
.
And lacerations to be expected "from body being swept along the river.
"Distinguishing marks - appendix scar, birthmark, small tattoo.
" Doesn't leave us much, does it? Why are you laughing? Oh, I was just thinking, one of Stratford's premier families, think of the media focus.
This is really going to put us on the map.
Frank! Well, this is the kind of high-profile case we should be doing.
The Federation won't know what's hit 'em.
This year, best small detective agency.
Next year best small-to-mid-sized.
The poor woman is dead.
Yeah, sorry.
And we should be finding out why and how.
Well, a tryst with a secret lover? Moonlit night.
Romance.
The Owl and the Pussycat.
They argued.
Maybe it was a crime of passion? Mm.
The young trophy wife and the jealous husband.
Happens all the time.
Well, at this point we can't rule anything out.
I need a wee.
I'm not surprised.
Now, this is interesting.
It says Ophelia was found with all her jewellery except for her gold watch.
A robbery gone wrong? Find that watch, we may well find the murderer.
Too much of water hast thou, poor Ophelia.
Oh, here he goes.
What's that from? Hamlet.
Ham-let.
I was going to say that, yeah.
You were in that, weren't you? Didn't you play Omelette? Mm-hm.
Look, this is Ophelia Skylark with friend at the opening of that new vegan restaurant on Constitution Street about a month before she died.
Vegan? And here she is again and here again, no sign of hubby.
That's her birthday party, isn't it? "Tragic finale for popular socialite, Ophelia Skylark.
"Guests shocked by mystery disappearance.
" Aw, look! She looks so happy.
And only a few hours left to live.
Was she actually seeing other men? Because that's not how her husband painted it.
Yeah, we could do with talking to this guy.
How would we find him? Let's start with the step-and-repeat.
The who, what, where now? The backdrop.
Every high-class event has one.
Oh, Vanessa Rose.
Who? Only the leading society paparazza Paparazza.
.
.
of the font color="#00FF00" You must have heard of her.
She does all the red carpet events.
I'm going to go and talk to her.
Why don't you see if you can find the CCTV from the hotel.
I'll go check out the boat yard.
Yes, let's find out how Mr Skylark keeps his business afloat.
Did you see what I did there? Hm.
There she is.
Absolutely gorgeous.
Very photogenic Should hope so.
The amount of time and money she spent getting herself picture perfect.
This is my business partner, Finty Lees-Jones.
And you are? Frank Hathaway.
Nice to meet you.
I brought in private investigators to help find out what happened.
Another outlay we can't afford.
I understand the business has had some difficulties the last few years? Could say so.
Fuel costs.
Half the fleet are rotting.
If we don't break even this season, I can't see there being another one.
That's why he's here.
/ Everybody needs to fully co-operate.
Well, it will have to wait.
I'm busy.
VEHICLE APPROACHES Da Costa.
Late again.
I'm not surprised, going that speed.
Can I ask him a few questions? Of course.
Be my guest.
You may not get far.
He's Italian.
His English can be very selective.
Last warning, Da Costa.
Um, buenos dias, monsieur.
Captain Da Costa at your service.
Major Le Hathaway.
THEY CHUCKLE I mean, not really.
I'm just I'm Frank Hathaway, I'm a private investigator.
- HE SIGHS - No more questions.
I've already spoken to the police, told them everything I know.
You don't even know what I'm going to say yet.
The lady Ophelia.
She die.
What else can it be? Don't you want to find out what happened to her on the night of the party? I was not a guest, I was working.
There's nothing more to say.
My boss, he already hates me.
He doesn't believe we were only friends.
Why make things worse? I'm just trying to understand I know what you're thinking.
You're trying to say that we were lovers, we had a fight, that I kill her, that it was a crime of passion.
So you do think it was a murder.
Now you're trying to put words in my mouth, just like the police did! Tea? Coffee? Tequila? Oh, ha! Yes, I'll have a Margarita if you're offering.
No, I'll just have a black coffee, thanks.
It's just so awful.
We used to speak on the phone about four times a day.
Still can't believe it.
Did you know each other a long time?/ No, not really.
Skylark's had hired me about 18 months ago, they wanted to do a rebrand on the website.
We just hit it off, same sense of humour, we'd get the giggles and that would be it.
They'd asked me to provide a model, but once I saw Ophelia, it was like, well, why bother? She became the face.
Yeah, is that when they asked you to be/f the official birthday party photographer? No, I offered.
It was my gift.
We'd become so close, especially since she'd broken up with Jonathan.
Do you think the separation was her idea? Definitely.
She hadn't been happy in a while.
And then all the issues with Callum.
Right, yeah.
Callum is the stepson? Yeah.
What issues would they be? Obviously, it goes without saying, this is all off the record.
It's just, well, he's so spoilt.
Jonathan could never see it.
It did cause a lot of rows and in the end, she'd just had enough.
So, the night of Ophelia's birthday party, do you remember anything unusual? Anybody being weird, or? No.
It was a great party.
Ophelia had nailed every detail.
She'd never looked more beautiful.
I'm sorry.
Sometimes you have a friend, don't you, a best one and they're a bit more like a sister.
I could print off the names of the party guests I photographed if it helps.
Yes, that would be brilliant.
I know the police have already taken statements, but sometimes people remember something months later.
Really?/ Oh, yeah, happens all the time.
They didn't think it was important enough to mention to the police, but then they remember it and it can just be that little missing link, you know? Your work must be fascinating.
Yeah, I suppose it is.
So, your relationship with Ophelia, how was that? Well, Dad seemed happy.
He'd do anything for her.
But you and her? Yeah, fine.
Your dad said they had quite a tempestuous marriage.
Well, if you mean fighting, then, yeah, nonstop.
But then Dad would blow a load of cash on stuff for her and it would all be OK again.
He must've loved her very much.
So, the last time you saw her at the party, what can you tell me about that? Um, well, I only really saw her at the beginning.
I just said hello, she wanted do a load of photographs.
And how did she seem? Just the usual.
Excited.
Bossing everyone around.
Oh.
Liked to be in control, did she? Um, well, I suppose she just wanted everything to be perfect.
And after that, the rest of the evening? Um, I genuinely don't know.
Oh, tequila! HE LAUGHS BELL DINGS DINGING FADES Yeah, actually, there is one glamorous thing that we're doing.
You'll probably be covering it, actually.
The West Midlands Detective Awards.
I've not heard of them.
Really? Oh.
We're up for a gong.
It's nothing, really, it's just a little award.
That's fanta You should capitalise on the PR.
How do you mean? Get your faces in the paper.
I could talk to my friend, she's the Editor of Stratford Life.
She could do a spread on you.
Really? That would be great, wouldn't it? You could maybe do some shots, a bit of a rebrand.
Like you did for Skylark's.
Yeah, OK.
I think I've got some studio time this week.
Ooh, have you got any photographs there of the rowing boats on the party night? No.
I hadn't brought my outside lights, Flinty didn't mention it until it was too late.
Sorry, did you say "Flinty"? Finty, Jonathan's Rottweiler.
It was Ophelia's nickname for her, because Finty was so hard on her.
Ooh.
They didn't get on.
Do you know why? Ophelia was a force of nature.
It caused a lot of jealousy.
Did you think it was odd that they had the party so close to the river? It was all Finty's idea, apparently, thought it would be good advertising.
I mean, they do own a boat company.
Yeah, well, it's just that Ophelia was terrified of the water, wasn't she? Jonathan said she couldn't swim, but it was more than that, it was like a morbid fear.
I didn't know.
That never came up.
That's strange, then.
Why would Finty suggest being on the water? She must have been terrified.
So, did you notice any tension or quarrels with any of the guests? Anything at all? No.
Did you have any reason to believe that she would kill herself? What? Suicide? No.
I know it's upsetting.
I'm just trying to get a clearer picture.
I mean, it was a robbery, wasn't it? Was it? Yeah, someone stole her watch, didn't they? Look, would there be anything else? I need to go, and My dad's going to be on my case.
I've got to go and check the boats.
No.
You've been really helpful.
Thanks, Callum.
Morning! Hello, gorgeous.
Ha-ha-ha! Ha! Whoa! Eugh! That pongs.
Like a wet mop.
It has been in the cleaner's cupboard.
- HE SNIFFS - Oh! Yeah, I'll freshen it up.
No, you are not wearing that, we'll have to get you something new.
So what's all this? I went through all the drownings in the River Avon over the past 30 years.
These three returned open verdicts.
John Simpson, Helen Ashcroft, Cally Rawland.
Anything useful for us? Not a sausage.
Right.
So, I suppose the question is who exactly stood to gain from the death of Miss Stratford-upon-Avon 2002? The runner-up? All beauties are beastly.
Cruise ship pageant host.
Don't ask.
OK.
Did you find anything at the hotel? I spoke to the Head of Security.
Absolutely nothing suspicious on their CCTV.
A swanky place, they would say that.
But I got this from one of the bar staff who was working that night.
Happy birthday, dear Ophelia Happy birthday to you! THEY CHEER Not exactly the shy and retiring type, is she? So do you think this was literally the last time anyone saw her? Never to be seen again.
PARTY CHATTER You promised you'd have the steamer back in the water by the weekend latest.
We've got 50 guests and a Michael Buble tribute act booked.
Let me make myself clear, get it done, or you don't get paid.
PHONE BEEPS SHE SIGHS You've got three minutes.
Er, well, Miss Lees-Jones - it is "miss", isn't it? Let's start with the basics.
Um, how long have you been at Skylark's? Since I was two days old.
What? My dad was the boat master for old Mr Skylark.
And my grandfather, he was the same for old, old Mr Skylark.
There we all are.
That's me and Jonathan, still in our nappies.
So you grew up together? Eventually my dad became a partner, passed it down to me.
Part of the family, really.
I'm even godmother to His Lordship.
What, you mean Callum? Just a baby when his mother did her moonlit to Marbella.
I said to Jonathan, "Give me your boy, I'll bring him up, no problem.
" But then He met Ophelia? Quite a force of nature, by all accounts.
Nothing natural about her.
I couldn't be doing with putting all that poison in my body.
Poison? Botox.
Fillers.
She came in here once looking like she'd had her whole face burnt off.
Had a laser treatment to get rid of her wrinkles.
I mean, the lengths some people will go to.
Yeah, but you have to admit, she looked a million dollars.
Well, she ought to, cost nearly that.
Jonathan used to do his nut, but she could run rings round him.
So you were business partners and you were in charge of the money side of things? And now you're going to ask how Jonathan got all her reckless spending past me? Well, it had crossed my mind.
She'd just hijack his business credit card.
By the time I found out, the money was spent.
You ever tried convincing the taxman a designer bag is a legitimate business expense? How would you describe Ophelia and Jonathan's relationship at the time of her disappearance? Same as it ever was.
A battlefield.
Not that he'd never dream of hurting a hair on her pretty little head.
Jonathan is convinced it might have been murder.
Do you know of? PHONE BEEPS Er, sorry, Mr Hathaway.
Your time's up.
Did you pay for all this through the company? Stop moaning.
/fo Look, it's just a few things for you to try on before the awards do, which makes them a legitimate company expense.
Anyway, I spoke to Callum, the stepson.
Oh, yeah.
Hated Ophelia cos she blocked his spending.
Imagine! That's not the impression he gave me.
Greetings, dear colleagues.
From one weary with toil.
As a dogged and diligent detective Receptionist.
Teamaker.
.
.
I have interviewed all 64 guests at the party.
Yes, I'm amazing.
Yes, you're welcome.
Er, there were 65.
May I remind you that one of them is dead.
Gather round.
OK, here we have Linda and Steve Hargreaves.
They mislaid the invitation, turned up at seven instead of 7:30, just in time to witness a huge argument between Ophelia and Jonathan.
Ooh, do we know what the argument was about? Indeed we do.
/fon Our dear friend Jonathan was incandescent about Ophelia's spending.
Told her she'd blown every penny they had.
He was absolutely off-the-scale.
I quote, "Ophelia, do you realise what you've done? "I could kill you.
" End quote.
Any other witnesses? Tons.
Hotel staff, Callum, the DJ and,/fo of course, the photographer.
Yeah, Vanessa Rose has been really helpful.
Why has she not mentioned this? Maybe they her told not to.
You know what these posh families are like.
What happens at Chequers stays at Chequers.
Right, yeah.
I think we should go and speak to him again.
Good work! For a secretary.
You've got to understand, she loved the local press, basked in the attention, but it did bring a lot of scrutiny.
That's not really what we asked you, Mr Skylark.
Yes, we did have an argument.
Fints, would you mind giving us a few minutes, please? Thanks.
If you knew how bad I feel.
The awful things I said.
We realise this must be difficult for you, Mr Skylark, but you're going to have to be honest with us.
Did you threaten to kill your wife? I just I just lost it.
She asked me to get there early to have a glass of champagne before everyone arrived.
Couldn't wait, thought we'd turned a page.
Soon as I saw it all, ice sculptures, lobster lollipops Can you imagine? .
.
I knew she'd annihilated the budget.
Finty was going to do her nut.
I just flipped.
But Finty knew you were paying for the party through the business? Knew? Yeah, I told you, it was all her idea, make it look like a marketing event.
All kosher and tax deductible.
But this was a whole different level of spending.
I'm really sorry.
Could I use your toilet? Oh.
Yes, second door down.
So sorry.
So, what was your wife's reaction when you confronted her about the budget? Did she fight back? Fight back? Yeah, she destroyed me.
Typical Ophelia.
What was my problem? She always accused me of having a secret stash somewhere.
She said that I was hiding money from her and that if I didn't use that money to pay for the rest of the party, she would report me to HMRC.
I saw red.
I said that I could kill her.
I totally understand your situation.
Oh.
Sorry.
The insurance needs to pay out fast or we're going under.
Still calling the shots, even though she's dead.
Imagine if Finty knew the true cost of it.
And it's all my fault.
Ah! Tell me again, why is he out of the picture? The body wasn't found for months.
According to the widow, he died of a heart attack when he won on a scratchcard - too much excitement.
Bad timing, really.
He fell in the river and there was no-one to rescue him.
You haven't drank all that already, have you? Really, nearly.
Alas, my love You do me wrong To cast me off Discourteously.
Aww, that's great.
Have you learnt that Little Mix one yet? I'm working on it.
No offence, Sebastian, but you're hardly Brian May.
It just wants tuning.
I was the first understudy Amiens.
As You Like It? Yes, really tragic.
Ah, yes, really funny.
Er, tragic.
If you're going to Skylark's, wouldn't it just be easier to dress as a tourist? I'm hiding in plain sight.
Plus, who could possibly be intimidated by me like this? Dressing this way, barriers come down, people feel safe and they share far too much.
That's very clever.
Well, make sure you speak to everyone.
Because as far as we're concerned, they're all being way too vague about the night of Ophelia's party.
So they are all suspects.
FRANK CLEARS HIS THROA Speaking of costumes, what do you make of this little number? Perfect! For a Matrix-themed fancy dress party.
Otherwise, straight to the charity shop, do not pass Go.
Hey! Don't say that.
This is for our portfolio.
What? What? What? What? What? You are having your photographs done with Vanessa Rose, aren't you? It's It's just a few little snapshots for the website.
Bah-bah-bah- It's really nothing special.
Yeah.
And am I included? Well, we didn't think you'd want to be.
No, what with you being .
.
our number one undercover associate.
Ah! Yes, you see.
I mean, what good is that, eh? With your face plastered all over All over the place, you won't be undercover any more, will you? So that would be no good, and so DISTANT THUD Theatre folk.
So touchy.
Yeah, that's it, guys, that's it.
Loads of energy.
- Lovely, hold that.
- CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS - Woo! Lovely.
- CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS - Brilliant.
That's great, guys.
- CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS Give us another one like that.
Woo! That's looking great.
Hold that.
Ha, yes, Frank.
Let out your inner Beyonce.
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS You're a natural.
Help yourselves to champagne.
It will help with any inhibitions.
Ooh, I I met the famous Flinty at last.
Oh, you can see how she wouldn't get on with a woman like Ophelia, can't you? Talking of not getting on, I believe you witnessed Jonathan and Ophelia having an argument the night of the party.
Vanessa? What of it? Wasn't like it was something out of the ordinary.
No, we were just surprised you didn't mention it, you know, under the circumstances.
There were plenty of other people there.
I assumed you already knew.
I didn't realise it was this exhausting being a supermodel.
Yes! Cheers.
Cheers.
So what next? Frank, put on a black polo neck, maybe we'll do some shots by the window, looking all intellectual.
Well, you can try.
SHE CHUCKLES Let me just get another lens.
Do you notice anything? She got spooked by whatever was in that letter.
Mm.
Anything el You dyed your hair? No! Borrowed your nana's jacket? Stop it, that's just rude.
Photographs everywhere and not one of them of her best friend, Ophelia.
And who but my lady Greensleeves.
Bravo! Bravo, bellissimo.
Bellissimo, maestro.
My kind people, any pennies going spare to feed a poor, but uniquely talented minstrel? Thank you, very kind.
Thank you.
There's more where that came from if you can get the punters on the boats.
If you're lucky, maybe you and I will go out for a joyride of our own later.
What are you talking about? No, no, no, I spoke to you last week.
Are you going to make me an offer, then? Mate, it's worth 14 grand.
OK, yeah, cool.
Deal.
OK, all right.
- Yeah, I'll be ten minutes.
- PHONE BEEPS CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS PHONE RINGS Hello.
An intriguing development.
Remember you said if Ophelia's watch turns up, it will lead us to the murderer? Well These pictures were taken by our assistant at about 12:45pm today.
You'd better tell me what hell is going on, Callum.
What's happening here? Dad, it's not what you think.
Finty, will you tell him.
You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt Ophelia He knows something.
He stole her watch.
You're accusing the boy? Jonathan, wake up.
You're still enthralled to that she-devil.
I know you couldn' Ophelia, but if you did anything to hurt her, I swear Dad, I swear to you OK, OK.
OK.
Let's all just take a minute, shall we? I'm sure everyone here wants to know what really happened to Ophelia.
Why don't we start by asking Callum how he came to have her watch? I I found it.
Where? I dunno.
Just on the grass at the party.
OK.
So, you picked up the watch, but Ophelia was nowhere to be seen.
No.
I looked around, but there was no-one about.
I was going to give it back, Dad, honestly, I was.
You didn't get the opportunity.
She'd done my head in, Dad, after that row, all that stuff that she said to you.
Then trying to get with Antonio, right in front of your face.
That's nothing to do with you.
What about when she said she'd dob you into HMRC? She said what? You know what she was like, Fints.
It was just a stupid argument.
Look, I didn't even want to be there.
And then when I heard them singing Happy Birthday, I knew it was nearly over, so I should go and check the boats were tied up.
Did you talk to Antonio? Yeah.
Er, no.
He'd already gone.
What time was this? I don't know.
About half ten.
He was supposed to work until midnight.
And were all the boats tied up? I figured everyone was done with them, so I'd stick around, watch the fireworks and just go home.
And then it was just lying on the ground.
All this time and you never said.
What kind of monster have I reared? Ophelia was right.
I always knew you were spoilt.
Now I'm finding out you're a liar and a thief.
Dad, I'm sorry.
Me and her, it was never that good, but no way would I do anything to harm her.
He's telling the truth, Jonny.
You do believe me, don't you? Dad? Honestly, this family.
We were ticking along nicely until Ophelia came along.
HE SIGHS What now? I just wondering why you lied about your whereabouts on the night of the party? I did not lie.
Apparently you left around 10:30, you were supposed to be off duty at midnight.
You weren't running away from anything, were you? OK.
I had a date.
Who with? With the chef - Mario.
He finished his shift, and asked me to go party with him.
You can ask Mario.
He will vouch for me, I was with him all night.
Why didn't you just tell the police? My mother.
She is a wonderful mamma, but she ever find out that I don't like the feminine .
.
she will be very upset.
That's why I live in freezing old England.
I could not stay in my beautiful Positano no more.
So, how did you get on with your blasts from the past? Well, Helen Ashcroft.
Her husband said she used to be very prone to black moods, reckons she thew herself in.
Freezing water did the rest.
What's Cally Rawland's story? Snuck out with a pal to a Take That concert.
Somehow, Cally manages to fall in the river on their way home.
It was dark, the friend panics, she didn't raise the alarm till the next morning, she was scared she'd get into trouble with her overbearing father.
Oh, some mate that is.
She was a suspect for a while.
Mum and Dad both long dead, sister went to live with some elderly relatives.
No trace of her.
What about the friend? She moved out of the area 20 years ago, no-one left to talk to.
Oh, well, you tried.
You're not going for another widdle, are you? No.
I'm going to pick up our photos.
Oh, they are fantastic.
You've done a great job.
You've even got Frank smiling! I think he actually enjoyed it in the end.
Yeah.
Can you give me a sec? I've got a yoga class.
Feel free to have a flick through, highlight your favourites.
Oh, OK, will do.
That's CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS Ah! So, what do you think? Well, I think you're a miracle worker is what I think.
Oh.
You've got a tattoo, I always wanted one when I was younger but I didn't have the guts.
This thing? Meant to get it lasered off years ago.
What does it stand for? TT for Take That.
Ah! My older sister was obsessed.
I pretended I liked Jason Orange, but I wasn't even that fussed.
I just wanted to be in the gang with her and her mates.
They did it in the kitchen with a needle.
Ouch! Hm.
Bet you still laugh about it now.
Ha-ha! Quick, Sebastian, get the footage of the birthday cake.
Where's the Cally Rawlings file? What's this all about? You said the past always informs the present, right? Yes.
And? So Cally Rawland was 14 years old when she died.
/fon Which means she was born in 1981, and would have turned 40 this year.
Look, see here? The strap on her dress breaks, so she does what any woman does in a disco crisis, she takes her friend, rushes off to the ladies to fix it.
And if I stop and zoom in.
See that mark there? That's a tattoo - TT for Take That.
What, you can tell that from there? It's in Ophelia's postmortem report.
But my bet is that Cally Rawland has one exactly the same.
Yes, here look.
"Distinguishing marks, mole on right cheek, "home-made tattoo, lower left shoulder blade, TT.
" I still don't get the connection? Vanessa Rose has exactly the same tattoo.
Yeah, but, like, Howard Orange here said - thousands of people had that tattoo.
You said Cally Rawland's best mate Leanne disappeared in her 20s, yeah? Yeah.
What if she didn't? What if she didn't disappear? She reinvented herself as the vivacious Ophelia Skylark.
The irrational fear of water.
Which you would have if you'd watched your best friend drown.
I think Ophelia's death was revenge from the grave.
Read this.
"I know what you did to Leanne.
I can make this all go away.
"Meet me at Chamberton Bridge.
Friday 10pm.
" That's tonight.
We need to get over there.
Whoever turns up, knows what really happened that night.
Oh! Ah! CLOCK CHIMES SHE SIGHS See, I never had her down as a murderer.
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH Might have known.
Ophelia always said you were a nasty piece of work.
Well, she should know.
You think you can blackmail me? So you did kill Ophelia.
No! I knew it.
It was an accident.
Who's going to believe that? You lured her to the river, you pushed her in.
It's OK.
Let's just agree on a price, I won't say a word.
Oh! No, it's not worth it! We know you killed Ophelia.
Or should we say Leanne? We saw a video from the night of the party of you and Ophelia going towards the loos to fix a broken strap.
Was that the first time you'd seen the tattoo? The home-made one that you and your sister had in exactly the same place.
Why don't we go outside? Leanne.
TOILET FLUSHES It just so happened that Finty was already in the ladies when the two of you came in.
You like hiding behind doors, don't you, Finty? What did happen when you got outside? I don't understand.
Who are you? You don't have to hide any more, Leanne.
Rosie? Little Rosie Rawland.
You let my sister die.
You could have raised the alarm, but you ran away.
No.
No.
My family was destroyed because of you! You made Cally sneak out to that concert, you knew you'd get in to trouble, so you left her to freeze to death in that water! It wasn't like that.
SHE SHRIEKS WATER SPLASHES And then Callum appeared to check the boats, so I hid.
He was there for what seemed like an age.
Then when I went back to the river Ophelia! .
.
It was too late.
Ophelia! I just panicked.
Ophelia, please! I didn't know what I was doing.
And then I saw a shoe.
I threw it in a boat, grabbed a bottle and some glasses that were lying about and pushed the boat out onto the river.
But someone had seen everything.
I didn't kill her.
Please, you have to believe me.
SHE PANTS It all happened so quickly.
She tripped.
I tried to look for her, but she was gone.
SIRENS WAIL I couldn't help it.
25 years I've been looking for Leanne.
SIRENS APPROACH All those years of hate and I just wanted an explanation.
You didn't realise that plain old Leanne Jacobs, your sister's best friend, was in fact the fabulous Ophelia Skylark? I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
SIRENS WAIL I know.
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS SHE GASPS This is our night.
I can feel it! HE CHUCKLES Are you ready, kid? Ready.
I can't believe it.
Finally, recognition from our peers.
Well, we deserve it.
Let's savour every moment.
Hey, I wonder what kind of can-apes they'll have.
You what? Can-apes.
Oh! Cana-peas.
No, not petit pois.
I mean, the posh food.
You know, like sweet chilli fishcakes.
Ooh, I hope they've got those little spoons with the king prawns in and the garlic mayo.
Which bull's pizzle didn't read the invitation properly? Not The Old Avon Hotel, The Old Avon Sports and Social Club, two miles down the road.
And then I got the jacket.
200 quid.
Yeah, and so my hairdo 80 quid.
Yeah, and then I had a spray tan 30 quid.
.
.
and my lashes.
/ All on the company.
Yeah.
My facialist spent 90 minutes pummelling my orbicularis oris.
Ooh! Was that on the company? No.
Well, look, you both look amazing.
Oh! Shush! Shush! Shush! Here she comes.
The winner of this year's small boutique agency is .
.
Sharman and Hepplewhite.
Shots? BOTH: Shots.
Hey, on the company.
THEY LAUGH
What? What's wrong? You are kidding me? What? What's wrong? Wrong? Couldn't be more right.
We've only been nominated Best Small Detective Agency of the Year.
No? Yes! Let me see that! "The Federation of Private Investigators, "bracket, West Midlands and Surrounding Region, bracket, "are delighted to inform you of your nomination for "Small Detective Agency Of The Year.
" THEY CHEER HE CHUCKLES Fancy pants ceremony at The Old Avon Hotel.
A big posh do.
Anyone who's anyone.
Get your glad-rags on, we have arrived.
What am I going to wear? Never mind what YOU'RE going to wear.
What am I going to wear? Well, I tell you what I am going to do I'm going to start my two litres of water a day from now.
Two litres? Yeah.
You'll never be off the loo.
Yeah, but I'll look great.
Open up.
Come on.
This is urgent.
BANGING AT DOOR Oi! Be careful with that wood, it's Grade II listed, this building.
Are you looking for us? Shakespeare and Hathaway.
You've really got to help me.
I'm desperate.
So, let's get this straight.
Nine months ago, you threw a huge bash for your wife's 40th birthday, she blew out the candles on her cake, walked off the dance floor and you never saw her again? Until they found her the next morning, about a mile downstream.
That's just awful.
I'm really sorry for your loss.
How do you think we can help you? Coroner's Inquest from yesterday.
Verdict inconclusive.
Look, I used to be in CID.
Water deaths are notoriously difficult to solve.
There's no way Ophelia would go anywhere near the water, she was terrified, an absolute phobia.
I own the biggest boat company on the Avon, she wouldn't go on any of them.
Can I ask, then, how you came to be having the party at a hotel on the river? Er, my business partner, she thought it would be a good chance to take out the little row boats.
Take the guests up and down stream.
Show the hotel what we could do for future events.
OK, so it was a marketing opportunity as well as your wife's birthday.
And presumably you could write it off as a business expense.
Sounds sensible to me.
Look, trade isn't what it was.
We have had to try out new things, diversify.
Anything wrong with that? It says here that you and your wife were separated, and awaiting a divorce.
Lies.
All lies! Mr Skylark, if we're going to help you, we are going to need to know the facts.
Yes, yes.
We'd been split up for a few weeks, but I thought we'd work our way back to each other, just like we always did.
That was why I wanted to have the party, to show her how much .
.
how much she meant to me.
Look, someone must know the truth.
I need closure, I can't live like this any more.
You're my only hope.
Well, we could start by retracing your wife's last moments.
You'll take the case? Please, they really need to know Sorry, who's "they"? I should have mentioned it.
Ophelia was insured for £500,000, but with a suicide clause and an open verdict, they're refusing to pay out.
And you think she was murdered? What else could it be? So, they found one of these boats, empty, with one of her shoes, a champagne bottle and two empty glasses.
Well, the marketing certainly worked.
Oh! You're going to drink all this in a day? Yeah.
Oh, Frank, it says the state of the body suggests she had been in the water for over 15 hours.
Her were lungs full of water, so she was breathing when she went in.
She was alive, but did she fall or was she pushed? What else does it say in the autopsy? Ooh.
I've never looked at an autopsy before.
Just ignore the pictures, look at the words.
OK.
It says, "Marks and wounds in keeping with contusions?" font color="#FFFF00" ".
.
And lacerations to be expected "from body being swept along the river.
"Distinguishing marks - appendix scar, birthmark, small tattoo.
" Doesn't leave us much, does it? Why are you laughing? Oh, I was just thinking, one of Stratford's premier families, think of the media focus.
This is really going to put us on the map.
Frank! Well, this is the kind of high-profile case we should be doing.
The Federation won't know what's hit 'em.
This year, best small detective agency.
Next year best small-to-mid-sized.
The poor woman is dead.
Yeah, sorry.
And we should be finding out why and how.
Well, a tryst with a secret lover? Moonlit night.
Romance.
The Owl and the Pussycat.
They argued.
Maybe it was a crime of passion? Mm.
The young trophy wife and the jealous husband.
Happens all the time.
Well, at this point we can't rule anything out.
I need a wee.
I'm not surprised.
Now, this is interesting.
It says Ophelia was found with all her jewellery except for her gold watch.
A robbery gone wrong? Find that watch, we may well find the murderer.
Too much of water hast thou, poor Ophelia.
Oh, here he goes.
What's that from? Hamlet.
Ham-let.
I was going to say that, yeah.
You were in that, weren't you? Didn't you play Omelette? Mm-hm.
Look, this is Ophelia Skylark with friend at the opening of that new vegan restaurant on Constitution Street about a month before she died.
Vegan? And here she is again and here again, no sign of hubby.
That's her birthday party, isn't it? "Tragic finale for popular socialite, Ophelia Skylark.
"Guests shocked by mystery disappearance.
" Aw, look! She looks so happy.
And only a few hours left to live.
Was she actually seeing other men? Because that's not how her husband painted it.
Yeah, we could do with talking to this guy.
How would we find him? Let's start with the step-and-repeat.
The who, what, where now? The backdrop.
Every high-class event has one.
Oh, Vanessa Rose.
Who? Only the leading society paparazza Paparazza.
.
.
of the font color="#00FF00" You must have heard of her.
She does all the red carpet events.
I'm going to go and talk to her.
Why don't you see if you can find the CCTV from the hotel.
I'll go check out the boat yard.
Yes, let's find out how Mr Skylark keeps his business afloat.
Did you see what I did there? Hm.
There she is.
Absolutely gorgeous.
Very photogenic Should hope so.
The amount of time and money she spent getting herself picture perfect.
This is my business partner, Finty Lees-Jones.
And you are? Frank Hathaway.
Nice to meet you.
I brought in private investigators to help find out what happened.
Another outlay we can't afford.
I understand the business has had some difficulties the last few years? Could say so.
Fuel costs.
Half the fleet are rotting.
If we don't break even this season, I can't see there being another one.
That's why he's here.
/ Everybody needs to fully co-operate.
Well, it will have to wait.
I'm busy.
VEHICLE APPROACHES Da Costa.
Late again.
I'm not surprised, going that speed.
Can I ask him a few questions? Of course.
Be my guest.
You may not get far.
He's Italian.
His English can be very selective.
Last warning, Da Costa.
Um, buenos dias, monsieur.
Captain Da Costa at your service.
Major Le Hathaway.
THEY CHUCKLE I mean, not really.
I'm just I'm Frank Hathaway, I'm a private investigator.
- HE SIGHS - No more questions.
I've already spoken to the police, told them everything I know.
You don't even know what I'm going to say yet.
The lady Ophelia.
She die.
What else can it be? Don't you want to find out what happened to her on the night of the party? I was not a guest, I was working.
There's nothing more to say.
My boss, he already hates me.
He doesn't believe we were only friends.
Why make things worse? I'm just trying to understand I know what you're thinking.
You're trying to say that we were lovers, we had a fight, that I kill her, that it was a crime of passion.
So you do think it was a murder.
Now you're trying to put words in my mouth, just like the police did! Tea? Coffee? Tequila? Oh, ha! Yes, I'll have a Margarita if you're offering.
No, I'll just have a black coffee, thanks.
It's just so awful.
We used to speak on the phone about four times a day.
Still can't believe it.
Did you know each other a long time?/ No, not really.
Skylark's had hired me about 18 months ago, they wanted to do a rebrand on the website.
We just hit it off, same sense of humour, we'd get the giggles and that would be it.
They'd asked me to provide a model, but once I saw Ophelia, it was like, well, why bother? She became the face.
Yeah, is that when they asked you to be/f the official birthday party photographer? No, I offered.
It was my gift.
We'd become so close, especially since she'd broken up with Jonathan.
Do you think the separation was her idea? Definitely.
She hadn't been happy in a while.
And then all the issues with Callum.
Right, yeah.
Callum is the stepson? Yeah.
What issues would they be? Obviously, it goes without saying, this is all off the record.
It's just, well, he's so spoilt.
Jonathan could never see it.
It did cause a lot of rows and in the end, she'd just had enough.
So, the night of Ophelia's birthday party, do you remember anything unusual? Anybody being weird, or? No.
It was a great party.
Ophelia had nailed every detail.
She'd never looked more beautiful.
I'm sorry.
Sometimes you have a friend, don't you, a best one and they're a bit more like a sister.
I could print off the names of the party guests I photographed if it helps.
Yes, that would be brilliant.
I know the police have already taken statements, but sometimes people remember something months later.
Really?/ Oh, yeah, happens all the time.
They didn't think it was important enough to mention to the police, but then they remember it and it can just be that little missing link, you know? Your work must be fascinating.
Yeah, I suppose it is.
So, your relationship with Ophelia, how was that? Well, Dad seemed happy.
He'd do anything for her.
But you and her? Yeah, fine.
Your dad said they had quite a tempestuous marriage.
Well, if you mean fighting, then, yeah, nonstop.
But then Dad would blow a load of cash on stuff for her and it would all be OK again.
He must've loved her very much.
So, the last time you saw her at the party, what can you tell me about that? Um, well, I only really saw her at the beginning.
I just said hello, she wanted do a load of photographs.
And how did she seem? Just the usual.
Excited.
Bossing everyone around.
Oh.
Liked to be in control, did she? Um, well, I suppose she just wanted everything to be perfect.
And after that, the rest of the evening? Um, I genuinely don't know.
Oh, tequila! HE LAUGHS BELL DINGS DINGING FADES Yeah, actually, there is one glamorous thing that we're doing.
You'll probably be covering it, actually.
The West Midlands Detective Awards.
I've not heard of them.
Really? Oh.
We're up for a gong.
It's nothing, really, it's just a little award.
That's fanta You should capitalise on the PR.
How do you mean? Get your faces in the paper.
I could talk to my friend, she's the Editor of Stratford Life.
She could do a spread on you.
Really? That would be great, wouldn't it? You could maybe do some shots, a bit of a rebrand.
Like you did for Skylark's.
Yeah, OK.
I think I've got some studio time this week.
Ooh, have you got any photographs there of the rowing boats on the party night? No.
I hadn't brought my outside lights, Flinty didn't mention it until it was too late.
Sorry, did you say "Flinty"? Finty, Jonathan's Rottweiler.
It was Ophelia's nickname for her, because Finty was so hard on her.
Ooh.
They didn't get on.
Do you know why? Ophelia was a force of nature.
It caused a lot of jealousy.
Did you think it was odd that they had the party so close to the river? It was all Finty's idea, apparently, thought it would be good advertising.
I mean, they do own a boat company.
Yeah, well, it's just that Ophelia was terrified of the water, wasn't she? Jonathan said she couldn't swim, but it was more than that, it was like a morbid fear.
I didn't know.
That never came up.
That's strange, then.
Why would Finty suggest being on the water? She must have been terrified.
So, did you notice any tension or quarrels with any of the guests? Anything at all? No.
Did you have any reason to believe that she would kill herself? What? Suicide? No.
I know it's upsetting.
I'm just trying to get a clearer picture.
I mean, it was a robbery, wasn't it? Was it? Yeah, someone stole her watch, didn't they? Look, would there be anything else? I need to go, and My dad's going to be on my case.
I've got to go and check the boats.
No.
You've been really helpful.
Thanks, Callum.
Morning! Hello, gorgeous.
Ha-ha-ha! Ha! Whoa! Eugh! That pongs.
Like a wet mop.
It has been in the cleaner's cupboard.
- HE SNIFFS - Oh! Yeah, I'll freshen it up.
No, you are not wearing that, we'll have to get you something new.
So what's all this? I went through all the drownings in the River Avon over the past 30 years.
These three returned open verdicts.
John Simpson, Helen Ashcroft, Cally Rawland.
Anything useful for us? Not a sausage.
Right.
So, I suppose the question is who exactly stood to gain from the death of Miss Stratford-upon-Avon 2002? The runner-up? All beauties are beastly.
Cruise ship pageant host.
Don't ask.
OK.
Did you find anything at the hotel? I spoke to the Head of Security.
Absolutely nothing suspicious on their CCTV.
A swanky place, they would say that.
But I got this from one of the bar staff who was working that night.
Happy birthday, dear Ophelia Happy birthday to you! THEY CHEER Not exactly the shy and retiring type, is she? So do you think this was literally the last time anyone saw her? Never to be seen again.
PARTY CHATTER You promised you'd have the steamer back in the water by the weekend latest.
We've got 50 guests and a Michael Buble tribute act booked.
Let me make myself clear, get it done, or you don't get paid.
PHONE BEEPS SHE SIGHS You've got three minutes.
Er, well, Miss Lees-Jones - it is "miss", isn't it? Let's start with the basics.
Um, how long have you been at Skylark's? Since I was two days old.
What? My dad was the boat master for old Mr Skylark.
And my grandfather, he was the same for old, old Mr Skylark.
There we all are.
That's me and Jonathan, still in our nappies.
So you grew up together? Eventually my dad became a partner, passed it down to me.
Part of the family, really.
I'm even godmother to His Lordship.
What, you mean Callum? Just a baby when his mother did her moonlit to Marbella.
I said to Jonathan, "Give me your boy, I'll bring him up, no problem.
" But then He met Ophelia? Quite a force of nature, by all accounts.
Nothing natural about her.
I couldn't be doing with putting all that poison in my body.
Poison? Botox.
Fillers.
She came in here once looking like she'd had her whole face burnt off.
Had a laser treatment to get rid of her wrinkles.
I mean, the lengths some people will go to.
Yeah, but you have to admit, she looked a million dollars.
Well, she ought to, cost nearly that.
Jonathan used to do his nut, but she could run rings round him.
So you were business partners and you were in charge of the money side of things? And now you're going to ask how Jonathan got all her reckless spending past me? Well, it had crossed my mind.
She'd just hijack his business credit card.
By the time I found out, the money was spent.
You ever tried convincing the taxman a designer bag is a legitimate business expense? How would you describe Ophelia and Jonathan's relationship at the time of her disappearance? Same as it ever was.
A battlefield.
Not that he'd never dream of hurting a hair on her pretty little head.
Jonathan is convinced it might have been murder.
Do you know of? PHONE BEEPS Er, sorry, Mr Hathaway.
Your time's up.
Did you pay for all this through the company? Stop moaning.
/fo Look, it's just a few things for you to try on before the awards do, which makes them a legitimate company expense.
Anyway, I spoke to Callum, the stepson.
Oh, yeah.
Hated Ophelia cos she blocked his spending.
Imagine! That's not the impression he gave me.
Greetings, dear colleagues.
From one weary with toil.
As a dogged and diligent detective Receptionist.
Teamaker.
.
.
I have interviewed all 64 guests at the party.
Yes, I'm amazing.
Yes, you're welcome.
Er, there were 65.
May I remind you that one of them is dead.
Gather round.
OK, here we have Linda and Steve Hargreaves.
They mislaid the invitation, turned up at seven instead of 7:30, just in time to witness a huge argument between Ophelia and Jonathan.
Ooh, do we know what the argument was about? Indeed we do.
/fon Our dear friend Jonathan was incandescent about Ophelia's spending.
Told her she'd blown every penny they had.
He was absolutely off-the-scale.
I quote, "Ophelia, do you realise what you've done? "I could kill you.
" End quote.
Any other witnesses? Tons.
Hotel staff, Callum, the DJ and,/fo of course, the photographer.
Yeah, Vanessa Rose has been really helpful.
Why has she not mentioned this? Maybe they her told not to.
You know what these posh families are like.
What happens at Chequers stays at Chequers.
Right, yeah.
I think we should go and speak to him again.
Good work! For a secretary.
You've got to understand, she loved the local press, basked in the attention, but it did bring a lot of scrutiny.
That's not really what we asked you, Mr Skylark.
Yes, we did have an argument.
Fints, would you mind giving us a few minutes, please? Thanks.
If you knew how bad I feel.
The awful things I said.
We realise this must be difficult for you, Mr Skylark, but you're going to have to be honest with us.
Did you threaten to kill your wife? I just I just lost it.
She asked me to get there early to have a glass of champagne before everyone arrived.
Couldn't wait, thought we'd turned a page.
Soon as I saw it all, ice sculptures, lobster lollipops Can you imagine? .
.
I knew she'd annihilated the budget.
Finty was going to do her nut.
I just flipped.
But Finty knew you were paying for the party through the business? Knew? Yeah, I told you, it was all her idea, make it look like a marketing event.
All kosher and tax deductible.
But this was a whole different level of spending.
I'm really sorry.
Could I use your toilet? Oh.
Yes, second door down.
So sorry.
So, what was your wife's reaction when you confronted her about the budget? Did she fight back? Fight back? Yeah, she destroyed me.
Typical Ophelia.
What was my problem? She always accused me of having a secret stash somewhere.
She said that I was hiding money from her and that if I didn't use that money to pay for the rest of the party, she would report me to HMRC.
I saw red.
I said that I could kill her.
I totally understand your situation.
Oh.
Sorry.
The insurance needs to pay out fast or we're going under.
Still calling the shots, even though she's dead.
Imagine if Finty knew the true cost of it.
And it's all my fault.
Ah! Tell me again, why is he out of the picture? The body wasn't found for months.
According to the widow, he died of a heart attack when he won on a scratchcard - too much excitement.
Bad timing, really.
He fell in the river and there was no-one to rescue him.
You haven't drank all that already, have you? Really, nearly.
Alas, my love You do me wrong To cast me off Discourteously.
Aww, that's great.
Have you learnt that Little Mix one yet? I'm working on it.
No offence, Sebastian, but you're hardly Brian May.
It just wants tuning.
I was the first understudy Amiens.
As You Like It? Yes, really tragic.
Ah, yes, really funny.
Er, tragic.
If you're going to Skylark's, wouldn't it just be easier to dress as a tourist? I'm hiding in plain sight.
Plus, who could possibly be intimidated by me like this? Dressing this way, barriers come down, people feel safe and they share far too much.
That's very clever.
Well, make sure you speak to everyone.
Because as far as we're concerned, they're all being way too vague about the night of Ophelia's party.
So they are all suspects.
FRANK CLEARS HIS THROA Speaking of costumes, what do you make of this little number? Perfect! For a Matrix-themed fancy dress party.
Otherwise, straight to the charity shop, do not pass Go.
Hey! Don't say that.
This is for our portfolio.
What? What? What? What? What? You are having your photographs done with Vanessa Rose, aren't you? It's It's just a few little snapshots for the website.
Bah-bah-bah- It's really nothing special.
Yeah.
And am I included? Well, we didn't think you'd want to be.
No, what with you being .
.
our number one undercover associate.
Ah! Yes, you see.
I mean, what good is that, eh? With your face plastered all over All over the place, you won't be undercover any more, will you? So that would be no good, and so DISTANT THUD Theatre folk.
So touchy.
Yeah, that's it, guys, that's it.
Loads of energy.
- Lovely, hold that.
- CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS - Woo! Lovely.
- CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS - Brilliant.
That's great, guys.
- CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS Give us another one like that.
Woo! That's looking great.
Hold that.
Ha, yes, Frank.
Let out your inner Beyonce.
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS You're a natural.
Help yourselves to champagne.
It will help with any inhibitions.
Ooh, I I met the famous Flinty at last.
Oh, you can see how she wouldn't get on with a woman like Ophelia, can't you? Talking of not getting on, I believe you witnessed Jonathan and Ophelia having an argument the night of the party.
Vanessa? What of it? Wasn't like it was something out of the ordinary.
No, we were just surprised you didn't mention it, you know, under the circumstances.
There were plenty of other people there.
I assumed you already knew.
I didn't realise it was this exhausting being a supermodel.
Yes! Cheers.
Cheers.
So what next? Frank, put on a black polo neck, maybe we'll do some shots by the window, looking all intellectual.
Well, you can try.
SHE CHUCKLES Let me just get another lens.
Do you notice anything? She got spooked by whatever was in that letter.
Mm.
Anything el You dyed your hair? No! Borrowed your nana's jacket? Stop it, that's just rude.
Photographs everywhere and not one of them of her best friend, Ophelia.
And who but my lady Greensleeves.
Bravo! Bravo, bellissimo.
Bellissimo, maestro.
My kind people, any pennies going spare to feed a poor, but uniquely talented minstrel? Thank you, very kind.
Thank you.
There's more where that came from if you can get the punters on the boats.
If you're lucky, maybe you and I will go out for a joyride of our own later.
What are you talking about? No, no, no, I spoke to you last week.
Are you going to make me an offer, then? Mate, it's worth 14 grand.
OK, yeah, cool.
Deal.
OK, all right.
- Yeah, I'll be ten minutes.
- PHONE BEEPS CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS PHONE RINGS Hello.
An intriguing development.
Remember you said if Ophelia's watch turns up, it will lead us to the murderer? Well These pictures were taken by our assistant at about 12:45pm today.
You'd better tell me what hell is going on, Callum.
What's happening here? Dad, it's not what you think.
Finty, will you tell him.
You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt Ophelia He knows something.
He stole her watch.
You're accusing the boy? Jonathan, wake up.
You're still enthralled to that she-devil.
I know you couldn' Ophelia, but if you did anything to hurt her, I swear Dad, I swear to you OK, OK.
OK.
Let's all just take a minute, shall we? I'm sure everyone here wants to know what really happened to Ophelia.
Why don't we start by asking Callum how he came to have her watch? I I found it.
Where? I dunno.
Just on the grass at the party.
OK.
So, you picked up the watch, but Ophelia was nowhere to be seen.
No.
I looked around, but there was no-one about.
I was going to give it back, Dad, honestly, I was.
You didn't get the opportunity.
She'd done my head in, Dad, after that row, all that stuff that she said to you.
Then trying to get with Antonio, right in front of your face.
That's nothing to do with you.
What about when she said she'd dob you into HMRC? She said what? You know what she was like, Fints.
It was just a stupid argument.
Look, I didn't even want to be there.
And then when I heard them singing Happy Birthday, I knew it was nearly over, so I should go and check the boats were tied up.
Did you talk to Antonio? Yeah.
Er, no.
He'd already gone.
What time was this? I don't know.
About half ten.
He was supposed to work until midnight.
And were all the boats tied up? I figured everyone was done with them, so I'd stick around, watch the fireworks and just go home.
And then it was just lying on the ground.
All this time and you never said.
What kind of monster have I reared? Ophelia was right.
I always knew you were spoilt.
Now I'm finding out you're a liar and a thief.
Dad, I'm sorry.
Me and her, it was never that good, but no way would I do anything to harm her.
He's telling the truth, Jonny.
You do believe me, don't you? Dad? Honestly, this family.
We were ticking along nicely until Ophelia came along.
HE SIGHS What now? I just wondering why you lied about your whereabouts on the night of the party? I did not lie.
Apparently you left around 10:30, you were supposed to be off duty at midnight.
You weren't running away from anything, were you? OK.
I had a date.
Who with? With the chef - Mario.
He finished his shift, and asked me to go party with him.
You can ask Mario.
He will vouch for me, I was with him all night.
Why didn't you just tell the police? My mother.
She is a wonderful mamma, but she ever find out that I don't like the feminine .
.
she will be very upset.
That's why I live in freezing old England.
I could not stay in my beautiful Positano no more.
So, how did you get on with your blasts from the past? Well, Helen Ashcroft.
Her husband said she used to be very prone to black moods, reckons she thew herself in.
Freezing water did the rest.
What's Cally Rawland's story? Snuck out with a pal to a Take That concert.
Somehow, Cally manages to fall in the river on their way home.
It was dark, the friend panics, she didn't raise the alarm till the next morning, she was scared she'd get into trouble with her overbearing father.
Oh, some mate that is.
She was a suspect for a while.
Mum and Dad both long dead, sister went to live with some elderly relatives.
No trace of her.
What about the friend? She moved out of the area 20 years ago, no-one left to talk to.
Oh, well, you tried.
You're not going for another widdle, are you? No.
I'm going to pick up our photos.
Oh, they are fantastic.
You've done a great job.
You've even got Frank smiling! I think he actually enjoyed it in the end.
Yeah.
Can you give me a sec? I've got a yoga class.
Feel free to have a flick through, highlight your favourites.
Oh, OK, will do.
That's CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS Ah! So, what do you think? Well, I think you're a miracle worker is what I think.
Oh.
You've got a tattoo, I always wanted one when I was younger but I didn't have the guts.
This thing? Meant to get it lasered off years ago.
What does it stand for? TT for Take That.
Ah! My older sister was obsessed.
I pretended I liked Jason Orange, but I wasn't even that fussed.
I just wanted to be in the gang with her and her mates.
They did it in the kitchen with a needle.
Ouch! Hm.
Bet you still laugh about it now.
Ha-ha! Quick, Sebastian, get the footage of the birthday cake.
Where's the Cally Rawlings file? What's this all about? You said the past always informs the present, right? Yes.
And? So Cally Rawland was 14 years old when she died.
/fon Which means she was born in 1981, and would have turned 40 this year.
Look, see here? The strap on her dress breaks, so she does what any woman does in a disco crisis, she takes her friend, rushes off to the ladies to fix it.
And if I stop and zoom in.
See that mark there? That's a tattoo - TT for Take That.
What, you can tell that from there? It's in Ophelia's postmortem report.
But my bet is that Cally Rawland has one exactly the same.
Yes, here look.
"Distinguishing marks, mole on right cheek, "home-made tattoo, lower left shoulder blade, TT.
" I still don't get the connection? Vanessa Rose has exactly the same tattoo.
Yeah, but, like, Howard Orange here said - thousands of people had that tattoo.
You said Cally Rawland's best mate Leanne disappeared in her 20s, yeah? Yeah.
What if she didn't? What if she didn't disappear? She reinvented herself as the vivacious Ophelia Skylark.
The irrational fear of water.
Which you would have if you'd watched your best friend drown.
I think Ophelia's death was revenge from the grave.
Read this.
"I know what you did to Leanne.
I can make this all go away.
"Meet me at Chamberton Bridge.
Friday 10pm.
" That's tonight.
We need to get over there.
Whoever turns up, knows what really happened that night.
Oh! Ah! CLOCK CHIMES SHE SIGHS See, I never had her down as a murderer.
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH Might have known.
Ophelia always said you were a nasty piece of work.
Well, she should know.
You think you can blackmail me? So you did kill Ophelia.
No! I knew it.
It was an accident.
Who's going to believe that? You lured her to the river, you pushed her in.
It's OK.
Let's just agree on a price, I won't say a word.
Oh! No, it's not worth it! We know you killed Ophelia.
Or should we say Leanne? We saw a video from the night of the party of you and Ophelia going towards the loos to fix a broken strap.
Was that the first time you'd seen the tattoo? The home-made one that you and your sister had in exactly the same place.
Why don't we go outside? Leanne.
TOILET FLUSHES It just so happened that Finty was already in the ladies when the two of you came in.
You like hiding behind doors, don't you, Finty? What did happen when you got outside? I don't understand.
Who are you? You don't have to hide any more, Leanne.
Rosie? Little Rosie Rawland.
You let my sister die.
You could have raised the alarm, but you ran away.
No.
No.
My family was destroyed because of you! You made Cally sneak out to that concert, you knew you'd get in to trouble, so you left her to freeze to death in that water! It wasn't like that.
SHE SHRIEKS WATER SPLASHES And then Callum appeared to check the boats, so I hid.
He was there for what seemed like an age.
Then when I went back to the river Ophelia! .
.
It was too late.
Ophelia! I just panicked.
Ophelia, please! I didn't know what I was doing.
And then I saw a shoe.
I threw it in a boat, grabbed a bottle and some glasses that were lying about and pushed the boat out onto the river.
But someone had seen everything.
I didn't kill her.
Please, you have to believe me.
SHE PANTS It all happened so quickly.
She tripped.
I tried to look for her, but she was gone.
SIRENS WAIL I couldn't help it.
25 years I've been looking for Leanne.
SIRENS APPROACH All those years of hate and I just wanted an explanation.
You didn't realise that plain old Leanne Jacobs, your sister's best friend, was in fact the fabulous Ophelia Skylark? I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
SIRENS WAIL I know.
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS SHE GASPS This is our night.
I can feel it! HE CHUCKLES Are you ready, kid? Ready.
I can't believe it.
Finally, recognition from our peers.
Well, we deserve it.
Let's savour every moment.
Hey, I wonder what kind of can-apes they'll have.
You what? Can-apes.
Oh! Cana-peas.
No, not petit pois.
I mean, the posh food.
You know, like sweet chilli fishcakes.
Ooh, I hope they've got those little spoons with the king prawns in and the garlic mayo.
Which bull's pizzle didn't read the invitation properly? Not The Old Avon Hotel, The Old Avon Sports and Social Club, two miles down the road.
And then I got the jacket.
200 quid.
Yeah, and so my hairdo 80 quid.
Yeah, and then I had a spray tan 30 quid.
.
.
and my lashes.
/ All on the company.
Yeah.
My facialist spent 90 minutes pummelling my orbicularis oris.
Ooh! Was that on the company? No.
Well, look, you both look amazing.
Oh! Shush! Shush! Shush! Here she comes.
The winner of this year's small boutique agency is .
.
Sharman and Hepplewhite.
Shots? BOTH: Shots.
Hey, on the company.
THEY LAUGH