The Big C (2010) s04e03 Episode Script
Quality of Death
Previously, on The Big C I think I'm seeing the angel of death.
He's got black hair.
It's curly.
Look, Cathy, the chemo is doing what we want it to do.
If it were me, that's what I'd be doing.
Good news it's not you.
- You have cancer? - Colon.
- You are not a God.
- I'm not a God.
I have so much energy since I stopped chemo.
I don't want to leave all this stuff for you and dad to deal with.
You don't get to parent him by yourself.
- You will.
- What? You will get to parent him by yourself when I'm gone.
So your ticket is on top.
They have somebody waiting for you at the airport.
Your book's in here, and they already have a copy - on their end.
- What would I do without you? All I can think about is how far apart we've gotten.
With the time that we have left, I want to figure out how to find my way back to you.
I'm a little concerned about the work you've been handing in lately.
I have a friend, and I think she's gonna die soon.
'Cause I wanted to show you that.
Could you make this? - I want to be buried in it.
- Yeah.
I've been trying to give something away on Craigslist.
What do you have to give away? Oh, my spare kidney.
Whoa, mom.
What happened to your leg? I'm just having some paralysis.
Will my other leg go numb? What about my arms? Will I go blind? Eggs are burning, sweetie.
Who are you? Quality of Death Adam, sweetie.
Shit.
I missed your - What time is it? - It's okay.
I'm No, no, no, no, no.
I overslept.
Uh, on a scale from 1 to 10, how bad is the pain? Oh This is I'm confused.
Is 10 good or bad? I'm like a "ugh" on the pain chart thing.
How you feeling, honey? 1 to 10? - Look out, dad.
Here.
- Guys, guys.
I thought you got her meds at 7:00 A.
M.
I overslept, okay? It is your job to cover the 7:00 A.
M.
, okay? Now she's writhing in pain.
- Paul, I'm like a 6.
- Well, that's bad! Okay, I'm a 4.
You should have taken the mornings, okay? But you wanted nights.
Clearly, I should have taken both.
Enough! Time to go.
Oh.
Damn it.
I never made it to the spam museum.
I was so close this whole time spam adjacent.
Should we stop? Hey Anybody hungry for mystery meat? I mean, if I were spam, I'd be mighty angry that people were using my name to sell penis enlargement pills on the Internet.
How can you laugh right now? I don't even understand why we're doing this.
Like, why why are you just giving up, mom? Why can't you stay at home with us? Pull over.
Pull over.
We've been over this.
My tumors are growing.
I'm not getting better, Adam.
The one in my brain I forgot who your father was.
It moved a millimeter to the left, I remembered him, my eyes got all screwed up.
And I don't know what's coming next.
You guys have done an amazing job of taking care of me, but it can't all be about me.
It's enough.
You're tired.
You're missing class.
You're arguing with your father.
And in hospice, they'll take care of me 24-7 pain meds, food, everything.
And I'm not giving up.
I'm making a choice for all of us.
We can still hope for a miracle, but if there isn't one, I don't want our home to forever be known as "the place mom kicked it.
" I want happy memories for you there only happy.
Okay? Okay.
Let's go.
Oh, for God's sake, people, if this is gonna be my last ride, it better get more fun than this.
Pull over again.
Dead woman driving.
- Cathy.
- You can't.
If I can't have one enjoyable conversation, I'm gonna at least give myself one final joyride.
And don't worry if I squint, I can just make out where the center line is.
Why not? Mom, slow down.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Honey, honey, honey.
Whoa, slow down, honey! Slow down! - Whoo - hoo! - Hang on! - Do it, baby! Jesus Christ! Honey, can you see? Can you see? Oh, this is awesome! Fuck me! Fuck me! Oh, God, we're gonna die! We're gonna die! Slow down, mom! Yeah, motherfuckers! Whoo! Cathy, seriously, stop.
Please stop.
It's not funny.
We're not gonna make it.
- Uh - oh.
Jesus.
- Oh, thank God.
- Shit.
All right, ev everyone just be calm And be nice and polite and just and smile.
- Fuckin' man.
- This is not polite.
Well, I need to do what I have to do.
I'm black.
License, registration.
Ma'am, you know why I pulled you over? Well, I have an educated guess.
But go ahead.
You're the one with the badge.
You tell me.
I bet this is your favorite part.
Go ahead.
You were going 90 in a 50 zone.
- Jesus.
- Not bad.
You have a full car here.
At that speed, an accident could lead to injuries or even fatalities.
Well, you know, I have, at one time or another, wanted to kill each of my passengers.
Right back at ya.
Ma'am, are you talking back to me? Yep.
I am most definitely sassin' you.
I could give you a ticket for disorderly conduct.
Well, officer, I'm fairly disordered.
Could you write me one too? I apologize, officer.
I I'm wondering, were you born being passive-aggressive, or did that just come with the reflective sunglasses? - Oh, boy.
- Were you the one who got beaten up at school, or were you the bully? No, really, I'm curious.
This is for the speeding.
And this one's for the sass.
See you in court in a month for the sass.
Have fun.
Hey, guess what.
I'm driving myself to hospice, so good luck collecting on that one.
So just down at the right is our cafeteria and our arts-and-crafts room.
We have some very competitive bingo games in there on Tuesdays.
Uh, and we'll be getting you a walker so you can get around more easily.
Mm.
Sweet.
- New wheels.
- Oh! Hello.
Hello.
Aw, and this is Bethany our resident cat.
Ah, an animal with nine lives in a hospice.
Ironic.
We do pet therapy on Thursdays.
You'd be surprised how calming it is just to pet a cat or hold a bunny.
Where's the shuffleboard? It's like a cruise ship.
If you two could come with me, I just have some last papers for you to sign.
Excuse me.
Like a cruise ship? Try the Titanic.
Hey, easy.
Oh, sorry.
It's just my white coat syndrome is really kicking in.
How in the hell are you gonna get through a kidney operation when you can't even look at a nurse without shitting yourself? I have no idea.
Okay, we're gonna get Cathy settled.
Immediate family is welcome to come with us.
Anyone else can visit tomorrow.
Um I I'm good.
Me too.
This sucks.
Okay.
I know this freaks you out.
Try and visit, okay? Don't look those nurses in the eye.
Come here.
Come here.
Don't leave dirty dishes in your room, okay? I'm not gonna be there to clean up after you, and no girl likes a slob.
Okay? Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I love you.
Say it.
I love you.
See you, mom.
Okay.
Okay.
Excuse me.
My mom is, like, really strong, and she may not tell you when she's in pain.
We'll take good care of her.
Yeah, okay.
She makes believe she doesn't need her meds when she does, okay? Okay.
- Are you ready? - Yeah.
Okay.
Cathy, this is Nan.
Heart disease.
What you in for? Melanoma.
"Hell-a-noma"? I'm Hiro.
Husband.
Paul.
"Mr.
Noma.
" These are lovely.
In my culture, they're good luck.
Anyone who folds 1,000 cranes will have their wish granted.
By a crane.
Don't hold your breath.
My dad used to take me hunting for those sandhill cranes.
I once bagged one the size of my own kid.
I'm, uh, very pro-crane, actually.
I love cranes.
This is a lovely room, isn't it? Wow.
That's really great news.
It is.
We don't usually find so many matches so quickly.
Hmm.
You're doing a great deed donating your kidney to a stranger.
It's gonna change someone's life.
Yay, me.
So we obviously want to get moving and select your recipient as soon as possible.
So, if you could just give us your consent signature on these pre-op pages Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Not so hasty there, Dr.
Pull-Me-Apart.
Rand.
Dr.
Rand.
And I don't actually do the operation.
Yeah, but you know the guy who does, right? Sure, of course.
Me dying on the table chances? It's a very routine operation.
No reason to worry.
So no chance? Zero chance? Well, I don't know if we can say that.
But less than 1%, certainly.
See, some poor sucker had to die to make that more than zero.
What if I'm that guy? I mean, I'm the I'm the "slim chances" guy.
I'm the guy who found a rat tail in a bottle of mouthwash once.
Okay It's quite normal to get jittery before an operation of any kind.
We can give you a sedative before we put you under.
Anyone ever get over-sedated, never wake up? Because again, rat tail "Slim chances" guy.
Mr.
Tolke, this is a completely elective operation.
You don't have to give up your kidney.
You can change your mind.
Eh, yeah, but then I'm the schmuck who could have saved somebody's life, but didn't.
Why don't you take the papers home And think about it? Not bad.
Not bad.
I'm motivated.
I I want to learn the whole thing before I go.
'Cause you feel like your life has been cut short, and at least you can finish this one thing.
- No.
- No? I just want to learn how to play The Entertainer.
But I'm awfully glad that my shrink makes house calls.
I go where I'm needed.
So the hospice, huh? How does this feel? Can I tell you something? I hope so.
I really like it here.
I feel so guilty.
I mean, I know I should hate it.
I should feel bad for my family, but all I feel is relief that they don't have to take care of my anymore, I don't have to say I feel good when I feel like shit.
So you're happy you made this decision? Because it was a decision.
This is how I want to go.
That's empowering.
You know, I have to say, Cathy, you seem more relaxed than you have in months.
Hmm.
Not for nothing, but the the morphine drip is heaven.
Oh.
So now you believe in heaven? - Mm - hmm.
The Rattlesnake by Fredrick Remington from his wooly chaps to the horse's muscles, this has got it all as far as detail goes.
- Just wonderful.
- You guys hungry? I made gluten-free pizza.
It's just a wonderful piece to have.
All right.
The gentleman has quite the mustache.
I get it.
You need to recharge.
These are stressful times.
I'm going for a walk.
$450, $475.
$495.
I have $495.
Congratulations, by the way, to whoever got that tapestry.
I just adore that piece.
I'm at $495 for the Rattlesnake.
The reserve is met.
It just takes $1 more.
Recharge upstairs.
Great idea.
Adam.
Why are you up? - Are you in pain? - No.
No, no, no.
Honey, you shouldn't be here now.
It's almost midnight.
I couldn't sleep.
I, uh I snuck in.
By the way, they have really bad security here.
Not a lot of people want to break into a hospice.
And no one's strong enough to break out.
When you were little and had a cold, I used to sneak into your room and sleep on the floor.
I was worried that you were so stuffed up, you wouldn't be able to breathe.
I'd hold your little hand.
I would put a mirror next to your mouth to make sure you were still breathing.
Did it work? You're here.
Yeah.
So what's with the crazy decorations? Oh, yeah.
Apparently they're good luck.
So, when you look up, you can feel like everything's gonna be okay.
I like 'em.
Honey, you need to go sleep in your real bed.
I promise you I'm okay here.
We can visit tomorrow, okay? I'm not going anywhere till you go back to sleep.
Okay? Ugh.
Oh.
Ugh.
Ah.
Ha! Don't ask me who's responsible.
I've been sworn to secrecy.
But the young man who did that is very agile.
Look at that.
He came in here at 5:00 this morning and put it all up.
You raised a good kid there.
Oh, I hope so, Nan 'cause it's a little late at this point for major alterations.
You know between my collage and your cranes we are definitely the most festive room in here.
Oh, I hate these cranes.
- You do? - Yeah, they taunt me.
I let Hiro keep on making them because I know he wants a miracle.
He wants me to stay alive so much.
I'm ready to go.
But I have to stick it out for him.
You really feel like you're ready? Oh, yeah.
When you're living your life on morphine and an oxygen tank once lived on LSD and danced at Woodstock It's time to kick it.
Woodstock? - Really? - Oh Roomie, I lived it up.
I had a great life kids, grandkids Hiro.
Hmm.
This is us at college.
Oh, look at you.
So beautiful.
Barely 19.
It seems like someone else.
But we were all young once invincible.
Time to go, I say.
I'm not ready.
No, you're not.
Deathany is not paying you any mind.
Who's Deathany? Bethany.
The cat? We call her "Deathany" because she can tell when people are gonna die, and she goes and sits on their bed.
Oh, that's creepy.
I guess she can smell death.
I wonder what death smells like.
They say a stroke smells like toast.
I bet death smells like Sauerkraut.
Old nail Polish remover.
I want to go before Deathany singles me out Oh, God, me too.
Before I get all smelly and crazy and no one will room with me.
In fact, you see me heading in that direction, you just take me out put me out of my misery.
Deal.
Only, you have to do the same for me.
You smell Sauerkraut Done.
Huh.
Okay, people, Saturday's runway show counts for half your grade.
I don't make the rules.
I'm just following the visiting Professor's handbook.
Hi, fancy.
Too much? No.
Love.
Your Egyptian book really inspired me.
Oh, good.
Um, just don't lose that amazing motif on the hip when you cut into the side seam.
I can't cut it.
Oh, but, Andrea, you have, like, at least 2 inches of excess here.
I mean, your size-two model is gonna be, like, swimming in a size eight.
Well, my model is a size eight.
I made it for my friend so she can wear it in her in her coffin.
Wow.
That's a first, even for me.
Okay, uh pins pins are your new best friend, right? Straight pins, safety pins, double-sided tape, staples.
What the hell? Go crazy.
But you pin that waif model into this work of art.
Okay? Okay, I do not want to see a bejeweled death sack come down the runway.
Okay.
You know why would you ever take a job where you watch people die all day? I like to feel needed.
It pays well.
Oh, well, points for being honest and points for eating with one of the sickies.
That makes me almost feel well again, so, thanks for that.
Well, we're tired of talking to each other, so, thank you.
This lasagna you guys serve is not bad.
Maybe I'm just thrilled not to be cooking for once.
You'll get tired of it.
I hope I stick around long enough to get tired of it.
Um how long do most of us stick around for? Well, it depends.
Some patients are so relieved to be here, they pass their first night.
Some people go for months.
Start to get better.
You never really know what's coming.
We've seen some wild shit.
Speaking of shit, I have to clean room eight again.
Guy crapped his pants so bad, he had shit on the top of his head.
How the heck do you crap on your own head? I'll tell you something, room 12, they don't pay me enough to clean shit out of somebody else's hair.
I mean, look look at that diaper.
He's like a big baby.
Jose, shut your mouth.
- Cathy.
- Huh? My name is Cathy, not "room 12.
" Hey, it's just something we use to What, pretend that you're not us? Let me tell you something.
Room eight, the guy with the diaper, that's gonna be you one day, if you're lucky enough to live that long.
All of us, the dying ones, you're gonna be us.
We used to be you.
It's the circle of life, Simba.
I'm gonna be dead.
You're gonna be crapping your pants, and you're gonna wish someone cared enough about you to clean up your shit.
- Oh, wait, let me help - No, thank you.
I'm borrowing this, Sid.
I look the same.
Yeah.
So you never forget.
We were all cute and healthy and could wipe our own asses once, just like you.
Were you in bed all day? I guess so.
Well, I'm hungry.
Do you want to get dinner, maybe go out for a pizza or something? Um, I'm, uh I'm not really hungry, bro.
Just, uh I'm good.
Okay, well I don't have any money.
I used all the cash mom left in the emergency drawer.
Mm.
Wallet's in my jacket downstairs.
Just just grab what you need, okay? Okay.
Sauerkraut.
You smell.
Nan! Nan, no! - I'm here to help.
- Nan! - No, it's time.
- Nan, Nan.
No! I do not smell! Nan! Nan! Sauerkraut.
Nurse! We need - Sauerkraut.
You smell.
- No, we just need No, Nan.
Breathe your oxygen.
Smell Sauerkraut.
Remember? It's time to die.
Nurse! It's time to die.
Sauerkraut.
You smell.
Nurse! Nurse! Nurse! Nurse! Nurse Valerie! Nurse Valerie, wake up! Nurse Valerie, do something! She's trying to kill me.
The bitch is trying to kill me! Oh! Nan! Nan? She was beautiful and so young.
The ghost? She she practically jumped out of Nan's body, waved, and walked away.
You think I'm losing my mind, right? No, I I think you saw what you saw.
I'm not sure it matters if it was real or not.
You definitely you think I'm crazy.
It doesn't matter what I think.
It matters what you think.
Oh.
Wow.
I guess I need some new material.
Mm, evidently.
I mean, maybe it's my mind just playing tricks on me.
These mets are tricky fuckers.
Does that scare you? Not being able to tell what's real? Mm let's see.
Yeah.
Also scary.
I mean, having someone die right in front of you.
I mean, I know this whole experience is supposed to make me feel better about dying.
I mean, I get it.
Nan was so happy to be free.
But the only thing that I could think of when that bag was over me was I'm not I'm not ready to die.
I want to live.
I'm not ready.
I keep looking at that dumb clock, tick, tick, ticking my life away, and I want it to stop.
I want more time.
Cathy I don't think you're crazy.
I was so naive.
This place with the happy clocks and the bingo and the The cheery pillow fabrics.
It's camouflage.
People die here every day ugly, brutal, dramatic deaths every day.
And that's different from the real world how? Well, he has a bad cold.
He doesn't want to get any of his fans sick.
Hey, did you take my I understand that you're upset that the venue is sold out, but there's nothing we can do about it.
He's cont I Sir, it is not necessary to use that ugly language.
You know what? Flip your friggin' switch! Hi.
So sorry.
- Did you take my dishes? - Oh, the ones by your bed? Yeah, I washed 'em and put 'em back in the cabinet.
What were you doing in my room? Well, the door was open, and the dishes were like, "help, wash us.
We're all crusty.
" Those were my dishes to deal with, Amber, not yours.
Last time I checked, your job was to just talk on that stupid headset and deal with my dad.
No one hired you to be my mother, okay? I don't need a new mother.
- She's still alive.
- I know that.
But it's widely acknowledged that the imminent death of a family member causes a great upheaval.
I've done a ton of research for my psych paper.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're writing about this? Uh, I'm getting my master's in clinical psychology.
I mean, you didn't think I was gonna be an assistant forever, right? So you're helping out here to spy on us? No, no, no.
I want to help you and Paul and and others.
I understand that you feel threatened, and that's perfectly normal, and it's also totally appropriate for you to feel some kind of resentment toward your father.
Oh, my God.
You are so fired.
You can't fire me.
I work for Paul.
Yeah, well, since Paul hasn't gotten out of bed in three days, I'm in charge.
So you can pack your research and get the fuck out! For someone who wants to be a shrink, you don't listen good.
Get out! Promise me you'll take pictures at the fashion show.
I will.
Don't worry.
And, look, if you have to cut the dress, cut it.
No, I can wear something else in my coffin, like a bikini.
I haven't worn a two-piece in ages.
morbid It's your dress.
I'm not gonna ruin it just to fit some twiggy-ass beanpole.
Oh, I I may not be a twiggy-ass beanpole, but I do a mean bitch face.
You know, it's an awful lot like your signature "I'm constipated" look.
Hmm.
Hey I'm really sorry about your roommate.
Me too.
I liked her.
I guess I shouldn't get attached to anyone in here.
I was really hoping that Paul would come visit with you today.
Oh, he is super busy.
Ah, tell the woman the truth.
He's depressed and bedridden with a side of funyuns for breakfast.
He just needs some time.
You know, not for nothing, I'm I'm the one who breaks out in hives in these places, and I'm here.
How's your kidney stuff going? Oh, it's just peachy.
I'll be down one organ in no time.
Hey, you need anything, Andrea, like a, you know, lung, a cornea? Aw.
No, thank you.
Hey! Well, look at that.
A cat.
Hey, there, happy cat.
Hmm.
They call her Deathany.
Apparently she singles out the next one to die.
She sits on your bed, you're a goner.
She's the grim reaper of the feline world.
Okay.
Uh, bye-bye.
Go away now.
Fuck off.
Bye-bye.
Shoo.
Sean, if you want to go, it's okay.
Yeah, I I'm getting a little hivey.
Yeah, go.
I'm gonna hang out for a while, and Adam will be by in half an hour.
I'm gonna buy you a cat cap gun.
- Hmm.
- Mm.
Good-bye.
Stay clear from that cat.
You are not killing anyone on my watch.
Oh, look who's up.
Hey.
I bought groceries with your money.
We were out of eggs and milk, and pretty much everything else, and I've never done it before, so I probably bought the wrong stuff.
Have you seen Amber? I'm supposed to go over my schedule for the next couple weeks with her.
I can't find her.
Yeah, um, she's not coming back because I fired her.
You what? Yeah.
She's a pain in the ass.
She was, like, writing this paper about us, like we were mutants or something.
You fired her? You had no right to fire her.
She works for me.
Oh, you're in charge? I'm sorry.
I was confused because you live upstairs.
Adam I'm feeling really shitty.
Oh, yeah? Yeah? Well, mom's dying, dad.
Why don't you throw on a fucking pair of pants and go see your wife? I'm your father.
You don't talk to me that way.
Oh, now you're all fatherly? Jesus, you're you're pathetic.
You don't make me do something I'm gonna regret, all right? What do you mean, like this? Who the fuck do you think you are? Get the fuck off me! - Fucker! - Get get off! Fuck! Oh! Oh! Nurse! Oh Nurse, nurse! Ow! Nurse! You know this was my fear, right? I'd leave and everything would fall to pieces.
I didn't think you'd actually try and kill each other.
He fired Amber.
Re really? Oh, God, I love that kid.
Hmm.
It hasn't been easy, Cathy not having you around.
I know this has been hard on you and scary.
I'm scared.
But I need you to be the strong one for me for Adam.
He's just a kid, Paul.
I know he doesn't seem like it, but he still is.
Feed him.
Hug him.
I wish I could be there to help you.
I keep imagining the house and the two of you and me just a shadow.
I can only lay here, Paul.
But you can get up.
So you get up.
And you try and move on, okay? Okay? So you beat up your dad? Wow.
Impressive.
I didn't lay hands on my pop until college graduation.
He was so drunk, I'm pretty sure he didn't feel a thing.
Oh, look who's here.
Oh, baby.
Oh.
You have a cat? Sparkles, meet Adam.
Adam, Sparkles.
Okay.
Sparkles? Yeah.
I I wanted something light and bright, you know? I mean, this cat has seen some dark times, my friend.
I rescued her from a bleak situation, so I got to change up her energy, hence the the little puff-ball headgear and the, uh, the baby "T" that says "princess.
" Can you believe they actually sell cat clothes? I mean, I nearly walked out of that place with a little faux fur shrug for her and a T-shirt for me that said, "don't pet my pussy.
" Yeah, well, maybe you can adopt me along with Sparkles.
Yeah, you'd look pretty cute in faux fur.
I don't get how my dad can just totally check out on us.
You know, it's like, we're all going through this shit, not just you.
Oh, everyone deals differently.
Out of all of us, you're the real badass.
It's so cool that you're giving away your kidney.
I'd be scared shitless, dude, but you're like, "yo, dude, just take my body part.
" Um I'm not gonna lie, man.
I'm I'm pretty freaked out.
Yeah, right.
You got stabbed, and you lived on the street.
I mean, there's no way this freaks you out.
- This is nothing for you.
- No, I wouldn't say nothing.
I mean, it is major surgery.
Dude, don't go all pussy like my dad, or else I got nobody.
How's the patient? Ah! Yay.
Surprised and flattered.
I thought you people forgot about us once we got shipped off to places like this.
Never.
You look good.
Forget good.
You look positively radiant.
I mean, for someone with colon cancer, you look practically well.
I want what you're having.
I do feel pretty chipper.
I'm really glad, Dr.
Sherman.
I want at least one of us to make it, and since you are the cancer doctor, I think it's only fair that you be the one to stick around.
Just try and just cure this shit, once and for all.
How you doing? Well, you know I'm at hospice, so I could be better.
You still have your sense of humor.
That's good.
Keep it up.
I want to let you in on something that may be self-evident.
This place it's filled with death.
People passing away it's a serious thing.
You think it hurts to die? I mean, not just emotionally, but my body.
Will I be in pain? Will my skin hurt? Tell you the truth, when I've seen patients pass away Yeah, sometimes they are in pain.
But you can control that with drugs.
But often, they just seem almost serene relaxed.
You saying that just to make me feel better? I've been accused of many things.
A sugarcoater? Never.
True.
You know, death has got a bad rap.
It's the only thing that makes life matter.
If we didn't have an expiration date - Nothing would ever get done.
- Exactly.
All those, uh, "I got to see Venice before I die" people.
They'd just put it off.
"You know, maybe I'll go next year.
" Or or they'd go 100 times.
And then they'd be like, "eh.
Let's stay home.
Too many pigeons.
" Those gondola seats hurt my ass.
It just does not sound fun.
Okay.
Yay, death.
Yay, death.
Dr.
Sherman, I do declare, you've become an optimist.
You take that back.
Thank you for not forgetting me.
Never.
I'll see you again soon.
I hope so.
Knock, knock.
Ready for a little lunch? Oh, why not? Bring on the jell-o.
Somebody's happy today.
Mm.
Dr.
Sherman put me in a good mood.
Heh.
Now, there's a sentence I never expected to say.
When I first met him, I thought he was the least friendly person I had ever met.
I mean, a real asshole.
Pardon my French.
But you get to know him, and he's just he's a big softie.
I mean, he was someone's funny smart, soft kid.
Makes me just want to give him a big hug.
Yeah, I miss seeing his face around here.
Oh, he'll be back, I'm sure.
Honey Dr.
Sherman passed away last week.
I'm so sorry.
Who's daddy's little baby princess? Good girl.
See? See, Sparkle? See how nice it is here? See? Nothing nothing bad's gonna happen now.
Nothing bad is gonna happen now.
Nothing bad is gonna happen now.
Nothing bad is gonna happen.
Nothing bad is gonna happen now.
Nothing bad is gonna happen now.
Breakfast for dinner.
Going for a walk around the floor? Oh, I thought I'd go a little further than that.
Let me call an orderly, then.
He can take you out for some air.
No, that's okay.
My son's gonna pick me up.
I'm gonna be gone for a few hours, so don't wait up.
Mrs.
Jamison, you can't leave.
You're weak.
That's exactly why I have to leave, nurse Valerie.
I need to see venice.
- Venice? - It's an analogy.
For you, it might be the Florida keys or the Kentucky derby or the spam museum.
And I recommend you really try and make it to the museum.
It looks pretty spiffy.
I really don't think you should go, especially without your I.
V.
Let's see.
The worst that could happen is that I die out there.
And considering that I'm gonna die in here, do we really, honestly care where the deed goes down? And since I'm the one dying, I win.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the twin cities school of art and design annual student fashion show Oh, hi! Featuring the work of Mr.
Isaac Mizrahi's advanced design class.
Oh, you both came! Thank you.
What happened to your eye? Adam beat me up.
Deserved it.
Yeah.
Yeah, he did.
I've never been to a fashion show before.
It's very exciting.
I hear sometimes the boobs fall right out of the dresses.
They just keep on walking.
You're not gonna see boobs, okay? Well, it's still gonna be fun, though, right? It's gonna be awesome.
say it's all right it's all right baby it's all right Dude, you're late.
Sparkles is missing.
I I looked everywhere.
have a good time - Hi! - Hi.
oh it's all right we're gonna move it slow move it slow when the lights are low when the lights are low when you move it slow it sounds like more and it's all right now, listen to the beat kind of tap your feet baby, you got soul everybody knows that it's all right Here we go.
My dress is next.
early in the morning, feelin' sad like so many do Oh, shit.
hold a little soul, make life your goal Oh, shit.
Where's my model? surely something's gonna come home to you Please go see what's going on.
Shit, shit.
Where's my model? baby, it's all right baby, it's all right have a good time, 'cause it's all right now everybody clap your hands now give yourself a chance baby, you got soul everybody knows that it's all right oh, oh - Oh, my God.
- Holy shit.
someday I'll find me a good man who will love me and treat me real nice What is Cathy doing up there? Rockin' the shit out of that runway.
day and night it's all right baby, it's all right baby, it's all right everybody knows that it's all right, whoa Yeah, mom! Whoo! Killin' it! Whoo! - Nice! - Whoo! Oh, you look so pretty, honey! - Mom, whoo! - Oh, yeah! Thank you.
I don't remember Hmm.
remember your face stuck with the moments tied to my waist if I could remember remember your name would you notice nothing's the same? and I don't remember remember your name please now forgive me I'm not the one who tried to destroy you my only son and I heard your voice I heard you leave I tried to destroy you they cut off your feet and I hope you notice that I'm not the one oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
He's got black hair.
It's curly.
Look, Cathy, the chemo is doing what we want it to do.
If it were me, that's what I'd be doing.
Good news it's not you.
- You have cancer? - Colon.
- You are not a God.
- I'm not a God.
I have so much energy since I stopped chemo.
I don't want to leave all this stuff for you and dad to deal with.
You don't get to parent him by yourself.
- You will.
- What? You will get to parent him by yourself when I'm gone.
So your ticket is on top.
They have somebody waiting for you at the airport.
Your book's in here, and they already have a copy - on their end.
- What would I do without you? All I can think about is how far apart we've gotten.
With the time that we have left, I want to figure out how to find my way back to you.
I'm a little concerned about the work you've been handing in lately.
I have a friend, and I think she's gonna die soon.
'Cause I wanted to show you that.
Could you make this? - I want to be buried in it.
- Yeah.
I've been trying to give something away on Craigslist.
What do you have to give away? Oh, my spare kidney.
Whoa, mom.
What happened to your leg? I'm just having some paralysis.
Will my other leg go numb? What about my arms? Will I go blind? Eggs are burning, sweetie.
Who are you? Quality of Death Adam, sweetie.
Shit.
I missed your - What time is it? - It's okay.
I'm No, no, no, no, no.
I overslept.
Uh, on a scale from 1 to 10, how bad is the pain? Oh This is I'm confused.
Is 10 good or bad? I'm like a "ugh" on the pain chart thing.
How you feeling, honey? 1 to 10? - Look out, dad.
Here.
- Guys, guys.
I thought you got her meds at 7:00 A.
M.
I overslept, okay? It is your job to cover the 7:00 A.
M.
, okay? Now she's writhing in pain.
- Paul, I'm like a 6.
- Well, that's bad! Okay, I'm a 4.
You should have taken the mornings, okay? But you wanted nights.
Clearly, I should have taken both.
Enough! Time to go.
Oh.
Damn it.
I never made it to the spam museum.
I was so close this whole time spam adjacent.
Should we stop? Hey Anybody hungry for mystery meat? I mean, if I were spam, I'd be mighty angry that people were using my name to sell penis enlargement pills on the Internet.
How can you laugh right now? I don't even understand why we're doing this.
Like, why why are you just giving up, mom? Why can't you stay at home with us? Pull over.
Pull over.
We've been over this.
My tumors are growing.
I'm not getting better, Adam.
The one in my brain I forgot who your father was.
It moved a millimeter to the left, I remembered him, my eyes got all screwed up.
And I don't know what's coming next.
You guys have done an amazing job of taking care of me, but it can't all be about me.
It's enough.
You're tired.
You're missing class.
You're arguing with your father.
And in hospice, they'll take care of me 24-7 pain meds, food, everything.
And I'm not giving up.
I'm making a choice for all of us.
We can still hope for a miracle, but if there isn't one, I don't want our home to forever be known as "the place mom kicked it.
" I want happy memories for you there only happy.
Okay? Okay.
Let's go.
Oh, for God's sake, people, if this is gonna be my last ride, it better get more fun than this.
Pull over again.
Dead woman driving.
- Cathy.
- You can't.
If I can't have one enjoyable conversation, I'm gonna at least give myself one final joyride.
And don't worry if I squint, I can just make out where the center line is.
Why not? Mom, slow down.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Honey, honey, honey.
Whoa, slow down, honey! Slow down! - Whoo - hoo! - Hang on! - Do it, baby! Jesus Christ! Honey, can you see? Can you see? Oh, this is awesome! Fuck me! Fuck me! Oh, God, we're gonna die! We're gonna die! Slow down, mom! Yeah, motherfuckers! Whoo! Cathy, seriously, stop.
Please stop.
It's not funny.
We're not gonna make it.
- Uh - oh.
Jesus.
- Oh, thank God.
- Shit.
All right, ev everyone just be calm And be nice and polite and just and smile.
- Fuckin' man.
- This is not polite.
Well, I need to do what I have to do.
I'm black.
License, registration.
Ma'am, you know why I pulled you over? Well, I have an educated guess.
But go ahead.
You're the one with the badge.
You tell me.
I bet this is your favorite part.
Go ahead.
You were going 90 in a 50 zone.
- Jesus.
- Not bad.
You have a full car here.
At that speed, an accident could lead to injuries or even fatalities.
Well, you know, I have, at one time or another, wanted to kill each of my passengers.
Right back at ya.
Ma'am, are you talking back to me? Yep.
I am most definitely sassin' you.
I could give you a ticket for disorderly conduct.
Well, officer, I'm fairly disordered.
Could you write me one too? I apologize, officer.
I I'm wondering, were you born being passive-aggressive, or did that just come with the reflective sunglasses? - Oh, boy.
- Were you the one who got beaten up at school, or were you the bully? No, really, I'm curious.
This is for the speeding.
And this one's for the sass.
See you in court in a month for the sass.
Have fun.
Hey, guess what.
I'm driving myself to hospice, so good luck collecting on that one.
So just down at the right is our cafeteria and our arts-and-crafts room.
We have some very competitive bingo games in there on Tuesdays.
Uh, and we'll be getting you a walker so you can get around more easily.
Mm.
Sweet.
- New wheels.
- Oh! Hello.
Hello.
Aw, and this is Bethany our resident cat.
Ah, an animal with nine lives in a hospice.
Ironic.
We do pet therapy on Thursdays.
You'd be surprised how calming it is just to pet a cat or hold a bunny.
Where's the shuffleboard? It's like a cruise ship.
If you two could come with me, I just have some last papers for you to sign.
Excuse me.
Like a cruise ship? Try the Titanic.
Hey, easy.
Oh, sorry.
It's just my white coat syndrome is really kicking in.
How in the hell are you gonna get through a kidney operation when you can't even look at a nurse without shitting yourself? I have no idea.
Okay, we're gonna get Cathy settled.
Immediate family is welcome to come with us.
Anyone else can visit tomorrow.
Um I I'm good.
Me too.
This sucks.
Okay.
I know this freaks you out.
Try and visit, okay? Don't look those nurses in the eye.
Come here.
Come here.
Don't leave dirty dishes in your room, okay? I'm not gonna be there to clean up after you, and no girl likes a slob.
Okay? Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I love you.
Say it.
I love you.
See you, mom.
Okay.
Okay.
Excuse me.
My mom is, like, really strong, and she may not tell you when she's in pain.
We'll take good care of her.
Yeah, okay.
She makes believe she doesn't need her meds when she does, okay? Okay.
- Are you ready? - Yeah.
Okay.
Cathy, this is Nan.
Heart disease.
What you in for? Melanoma.
"Hell-a-noma"? I'm Hiro.
Husband.
Paul.
"Mr.
Noma.
" These are lovely.
In my culture, they're good luck.
Anyone who folds 1,000 cranes will have their wish granted.
By a crane.
Don't hold your breath.
My dad used to take me hunting for those sandhill cranes.
I once bagged one the size of my own kid.
I'm, uh, very pro-crane, actually.
I love cranes.
This is a lovely room, isn't it? Wow.
That's really great news.
It is.
We don't usually find so many matches so quickly.
Hmm.
You're doing a great deed donating your kidney to a stranger.
It's gonna change someone's life.
Yay, me.
So we obviously want to get moving and select your recipient as soon as possible.
So, if you could just give us your consent signature on these pre-op pages Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Not so hasty there, Dr.
Pull-Me-Apart.
Rand.
Dr.
Rand.
And I don't actually do the operation.
Yeah, but you know the guy who does, right? Sure, of course.
Me dying on the table chances? It's a very routine operation.
No reason to worry.
So no chance? Zero chance? Well, I don't know if we can say that.
But less than 1%, certainly.
See, some poor sucker had to die to make that more than zero.
What if I'm that guy? I mean, I'm the I'm the "slim chances" guy.
I'm the guy who found a rat tail in a bottle of mouthwash once.
Okay It's quite normal to get jittery before an operation of any kind.
We can give you a sedative before we put you under.
Anyone ever get over-sedated, never wake up? Because again, rat tail "Slim chances" guy.
Mr.
Tolke, this is a completely elective operation.
You don't have to give up your kidney.
You can change your mind.
Eh, yeah, but then I'm the schmuck who could have saved somebody's life, but didn't.
Why don't you take the papers home And think about it? Not bad.
Not bad.
I'm motivated.
I I want to learn the whole thing before I go.
'Cause you feel like your life has been cut short, and at least you can finish this one thing.
- No.
- No? I just want to learn how to play The Entertainer.
But I'm awfully glad that my shrink makes house calls.
I go where I'm needed.
So the hospice, huh? How does this feel? Can I tell you something? I hope so.
I really like it here.
I feel so guilty.
I mean, I know I should hate it.
I should feel bad for my family, but all I feel is relief that they don't have to take care of my anymore, I don't have to say I feel good when I feel like shit.
So you're happy you made this decision? Because it was a decision.
This is how I want to go.
That's empowering.
You know, I have to say, Cathy, you seem more relaxed than you have in months.
Hmm.
Not for nothing, but the the morphine drip is heaven.
Oh.
So now you believe in heaven? - Mm - hmm.
The Rattlesnake by Fredrick Remington from his wooly chaps to the horse's muscles, this has got it all as far as detail goes.
- Just wonderful.
- You guys hungry? I made gluten-free pizza.
It's just a wonderful piece to have.
All right.
The gentleman has quite the mustache.
I get it.
You need to recharge.
These are stressful times.
I'm going for a walk.
$450, $475.
$495.
I have $495.
Congratulations, by the way, to whoever got that tapestry.
I just adore that piece.
I'm at $495 for the Rattlesnake.
The reserve is met.
It just takes $1 more.
Recharge upstairs.
Great idea.
Adam.
Why are you up? - Are you in pain? - No.
No, no, no.
Honey, you shouldn't be here now.
It's almost midnight.
I couldn't sleep.
I, uh I snuck in.
By the way, they have really bad security here.
Not a lot of people want to break into a hospice.
And no one's strong enough to break out.
When you were little and had a cold, I used to sneak into your room and sleep on the floor.
I was worried that you were so stuffed up, you wouldn't be able to breathe.
I'd hold your little hand.
I would put a mirror next to your mouth to make sure you were still breathing.
Did it work? You're here.
Yeah.
So what's with the crazy decorations? Oh, yeah.
Apparently they're good luck.
So, when you look up, you can feel like everything's gonna be okay.
I like 'em.
Honey, you need to go sleep in your real bed.
I promise you I'm okay here.
We can visit tomorrow, okay? I'm not going anywhere till you go back to sleep.
Okay? Ugh.
Oh.
Ugh.
Ah.
Ha! Don't ask me who's responsible.
I've been sworn to secrecy.
But the young man who did that is very agile.
Look at that.
He came in here at 5:00 this morning and put it all up.
You raised a good kid there.
Oh, I hope so, Nan 'cause it's a little late at this point for major alterations.
You know between my collage and your cranes we are definitely the most festive room in here.
Oh, I hate these cranes.
- You do? - Yeah, they taunt me.
I let Hiro keep on making them because I know he wants a miracle.
He wants me to stay alive so much.
I'm ready to go.
But I have to stick it out for him.
You really feel like you're ready? Oh, yeah.
When you're living your life on morphine and an oxygen tank once lived on LSD and danced at Woodstock It's time to kick it.
Woodstock? - Really? - Oh Roomie, I lived it up.
I had a great life kids, grandkids Hiro.
Hmm.
This is us at college.
Oh, look at you.
So beautiful.
Barely 19.
It seems like someone else.
But we were all young once invincible.
Time to go, I say.
I'm not ready.
No, you're not.
Deathany is not paying you any mind.
Who's Deathany? Bethany.
The cat? We call her "Deathany" because she can tell when people are gonna die, and she goes and sits on their bed.
Oh, that's creepy.
I guess she can smell death.
I wonder what death smells like.
They say a stroke smells like toast.
I bet death smells like Sauerkraut.
Old nail Polish remover.
I want to go before Deathany singles me out Oh, God, me too.
Before I get all smelly and crazy and no one will room with me.
In fact, you see me heading in that direction, you just take me out put me out of my misery.
Deal.
Only, you have to do the same for me.
You smell Sauerkraut Done.
Huh.
Okay, people, Saturday's runway show counts for half your grade.
I don't make the rules.
I'm just following the visiting Professor's handbook.
Hi, fancy.
Too much? No.
Love.
Your Egyptian book really inspired me.
Oh, good.
Um, just don't lose that amazing motif on the hip when you cut into the side seam.
I can't cut it.
Oh, but, Andrea, you have, like, at least 2 inches of excess here.
I mean, your size-two model is gonna be, like, swimming in a size eight.
Well, my model is a size eight.
I made it for my friend so she can wear it in her in her coffin.
Wow.
That's a first, even for me.
Okay, uh pins pins are your new best friend, right? Straight pins, safety pins, double-sided tape, staples.
What the hell? Go crazy.
But you pin that waif model into this work of art.
Okay? Okay, I do not want to see a bejeweled death sack come down the runway.
Okay.
You know why would you ever take a job where you watch people die all day? I like to feel needed.
It pays well.
Oh, well, points for being honest and points for eating with one of the sickies.
That makes me almost feel well again, so, thanks for that.
Well, we're tired of talking to each other, so, thank you.
This lasagna you guys serve is not bad.
Maybe I'm just thrilled not to be cooking for once.
You'll get tired of it.
I hope I stick around long enough to get tired of it.
Um how long do most of us stick around for? Well, it depends.
Some patients are so relieved to be here, they pass their first night.
Some people go for months.
Start to get better.
You never really know what's coming.
We've seen some wild shit.
Speaking of shit, I have to clean room eight again.
Guy crapped his pants so bad, he had shit on the top of his head.
How the heck do you crap on your own head? I'll tell you something, room 12, they don't pay me enough to clean shit out of somebody else's hair.
I mean, look look at that diaper.
He's like a big baby.
Jose, shut your mouth.
- Cathy.
- Huh? My name is Cathy, not "room 12.
" Hey, it's just something we use to What, pretend that you're not us? Let me tell you something.
Room eight, the guy with the diaper, that's gonna be you one day, if you're lucky enough to live that long.
All of us, the dying ones, you're gonna be us.
We used to be you.
It's the circle of life, Simba.
I'm gonna be dead.
You're gonna be crapping your pants, and you're gonna wish someone cared enough about you to clean up your shit.
- Oh, wait, let me help - No, thank you.
I'm borrowing this, Sid.
I look the same.
Yeah.
So you never forget.
We were all cute and healthy and could wipe our own asses once, just like you.
Were you in bed all day? I guess so.
Well, I'm hungry.
Do you want to get dinner, maybe go out for a pizza or something? Um, I'm, uh I'm not really hungry, bro.
Just, uh I'm good.
Okay, well I don't have any money.
I used all the cash mom left in the emergency drawer.
Mm.
Wallet's in my jacket downstairs.
Just just grab what you need, okay? Okay.
Sauerkraut.
You smell.
Nan! Nan, no! - I'm here to help.
- Nan! - No, it's time.
- Nan, Nan.
No! I do not smell! Nan! Nan! Sauerkraut.
Nurse! We need - Sauerkraut.
You smell.
- No, we just need No, Nan.
Breathe your oxygen.
Smell Sauerkraut.
Remember? It's time to die.
Nurse! It's time to die.
Sauerkraut.
You smell.
Nurse! Nurse! Nurse! Nurse! Nurse Valerie! Nurse Valerie, wake up! Nurse Valerie, do something! She's trying to kill me.
The bitch is trying to kill me! Oh! Nan! Nan? She was beautiful and so young.
The ghost? She she practically jumped out of Nan's body, waved, and walked away.
You think I'm losing my mind, right? No, I I think you saw what you saw.
I'm not sure it matters if it was real or not.
You definitely you think I'm crazy.
It doesn't matter what I think.
It matters what you think.
Oh.
Wow.
I guess I need some new material.
Mm, evidently.
I mean, maybe it's my mind just playing tricks on me.
These mets are tricky fuckers.
Does that scare you? Not being able to tell what's real? Mm let's see.
Yeah.
Also scary.
I mean, having someone die right in front of you.
I mean, I know this whole experience is supposed to make me feel better about dying.
I mean, I get it.
Nan was so happy to be free.
But the only thing that I could think of when that bag was over me was I'm not I'm not ready to die.
I want to live.
I'm not ready.
I keep looking at that dumb clock, tick, tick, ticking my life away, and I want it to stop.
I want more time.
Cathy I don't think you're crazy.
I was so naive.
This place with the happy clocks and the bingo and the The cheery pillow fabrics.
It's camouflage.
People die here every day ugly, brutal, dramatic deaths every day.
And that's different from the real world how? Well, he has a bad cold.
He doesn't want to get any of his fans sick.
Hey, did you take my I understand that you're upset that the venue is sold out, but there's nothing we can do about it.
He's cont I Sir, it is not necessary to use that ugly language.
You know what? Flip your friggin' switch! Hi.
So sorry.
- Did you take my dishes? - Oh, the ones by your bed? Yeah, I washed 'em and put 'em back in the cabinet.
What were you doing in my room? Well, the door was open, and the dishes were like, "help, wash us.
We're all crusty.
" Those were my dishes to deal with, Amber, not yours.
Last time I checked, your job was to just talk on that stupid headset and deal with my dad.
No one hired you to be my mother, okay? I don't need a new mother.
- She's still alive.
- I know that.
But it's widely acknowledged that the imminent death of a family member causes a great upheaval.
I've done a ton of research for my psych paper.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're writing about this? Uh, I'm getting my master's in clinical psychology.
I mean, you didn't think I was gonna be an assistant forever, right? So you're helping out here to spy on us? No, no, no.
I want to help you and Paul and and others.
I understand that you feel threatened, and that's perfectly normal, and it's also totally appropriate for you to feel some kind of resentment toward your father.
Oh, my God.
You are so fired.
You can't fire me.
I work for Paul.
Yeah, well, since Paul hasn't gotten out of bed in three days, I'm in charge.
So you can pack your research and get the fuck out! For someone who wants to be a shrink, you don't listen good.
Get out! Promise me you'll take pictures at the fashion show.
I will.
Don't worry.
And, look, if you have to cut the dress, cut it.
No, I can wear something else in my coffin, like a bikini.
I haven't worn a two-piece in ages.
morbid It's your dress.
I'm not gonna ruin it just to fit some twiggy-ass beanpole.
Oh, I I may not be a twiggy-ass beanpole, but I do a mean bitch face.
You know, it's an awful lot like your signature "I'm constipated" look.
Hmm.
Hey I'm really sorry about your roommate.
Me too.
I liked her.
I guess I shouldn't get attached to anyone in here.
I was really hoping that Paul would come visit with you today.
Oh, he is super busy.
Ah, tell the woman the truth.
He's depressed and bedridden with a side of funyuns for breakfast.
He just needs some time.
You know, not for nothing, I'm I'm the one who breaks out in hives in these places, and I'm here.
How's your kidney stuff going? Oh, it's just peachy.
I'll be down one organ in no time.
Hey, you need anything, Andrea, like a, you know, lung, a cornea? Aw.
No, thank you.
Hey! Well, look at that.
A cat.
Hey, there, happy cat.
Hmm.
They call her Deathany.
Apparently she singles out the next one to die.
She sits on your bed, you're a goner.
She's the grim reaper of the feline world.
Okay.
Uh, bye-bye.
Go away now.
Fuck off.
Bye-bye.
Shoo.
Sean, if you want to go, it's okay.
Yeah, I I'm getting a little hivey.
Yeah, go.
I'm gonna hang out for a while, and Adam will be by in half an hour.
I'm gonna buy you a cat cap gun.
- Hmm.
- Mm.
Good-bye.
Stay clear from that cat.
You are not killing anyone on my watch.
Oh, look who's up.
Hey.
I bought groceries with your money.
We were out of eggs and milk, and pretty much everything else, and I've never done it before, so I probably bought the wrong stuff.
Have you seen Amber? I'm supposed to go over my schedule for the next couple weeks with her.
I can't find her.
Yeah, um, she's not coming back because I fired her.
You what? Yeah.
She's a pain in the ass.
She was, like, writing this paper about us, like we were mutants or something.
You fired her? You had no right to fire her.
She works for me.
Oh, you're in charge? I'm sorry.
I was confused because you live upstairs.
Adam I'm feeling really shitty.
Oh, yeah? Yeah? Well, mom's dying, dad.
Why don't you throw on a fucking pair of pants and go see your wife? I'm your father.
You don't talk to me that way.
Oh, now you're all fatherly? Jesus, you're you're pathetic.
You don't make me do something I'm gonna regret, all right? What do you mean, like this? Who the fuck do you think you are? Get the fuck off me! - Fucker! - Get get off! Fuck! Oh! Oh! Nurse! Oh Nurse, nurse! Ow! Nurse! You know this was my fear, right? I'd leave and everything would fall to pieces.
I didn't think you'd actually try and kill each other.
He fired Amber.
Re really? Oh, God, I love that kid.
Hmm.
It hasn't been easy, Cathy not having you around.
I know this has been hard on you and scary.
I'm scared.
But I need you to be the strong one for me for Adam.
He's just a kid, Paul.
I know he doesn't seem like it, but he still is.
Feed him.
Hug him.
I wish I could be there to help you.
I keep imagining the house and the two of you and me just a shadow.
I can only lay here, Paul.
But you can get up.
So you get up.
And you try and move on, okay? Okay? So you beat up your dad? Wow.
Impressive.
I didn't lay hands on my pop until college graduation.
He was so drunk, I'm pretty sure he didn't feel a thing.
Oh, look who's here.
Oh, baby.
Oh.
You have a cat? Sparkles, meet Adam.
Adam, Sparkles.
Okay.
Sparkles? Yeah.
I I wanted something light and bright, you know? I mean, this cat has seen some dark times, my friend.
I rescued her from a bleak situation, so I got to change up her energy, hence the the little puff-ball headgear and the, uh, the baby "T" that says "princess.
" Can you believe they actually sell cat clothes? I mean, I nearly walked out of that place with a little faux fur shrug for her and a T-shirt for me that said, "don't pet my pussy.
" Yeah, well, maybe you can adopt me along with Sparkles.
Yeah, you'd look pretty cute in faux fur.
I don't get how my dad can just totally check out on us.
You know, it's like, we're all going through this shit, not just you.
Oh, everyone deals differently.
Out of all of us, you're the real badass.
It's so cool that you're giving away your kidney.
I'd be scared shitless, dude, but you're like, "yo, dude, just take my body part.
" Um I'm not gonna lie, man.
I'm I'm pretty freaked out.
Yeah, right.
You got stabbed, and you lived on the street.
I mean, there's no way this freaks you out.
- This is nothing for you.
- No, I wouldn't say nothing.
I mean, it is major surgery.
Dude, don't go all pussy like my dad, or else I got nobody.
How's the patient? Ah! Yay.
Surprised and flattered.
I thought you people forgot about us once we got shipped off to places like this.
Never.
You look good.
Forget good.
You look positively radiant.
I mean, for someone with colon cancer, you look practically well.
I want what you're having.
I do feel pretty chipper.
I'm really glad, Dr.
Sherman.
I want at least one of us to make it, and since you are the cancer doctor, I think it's only fair that you be the one to stick around.
Just try and just cure this shit, once and for all.
How you doing? Well, you know I'm at hospice, so I could be better.
You still have your sense of humor.
That's good.
Keep it up.
I want to let you in on something that may be self-evident.
This place it's filled with death.
People passing away it's a serious thing.
You think it hurts to die? I mean, not just emotionally, but my body.
Will I be in pain? Will my skin hurt? Tell you the truth, when I've seen patients pass away Yeah, sometimes they are in pain.
But you can control that with drugs.
But often, they just seem almost serene relaxed.
You saying that just to make me feel better? I've been accused of many things.
A sugarcoater? Never.
True.
You know, death has got a bad rap.
It's the only thing that makes life matter.
If we didn't have an expiration date - Nothing would ever get done.
- Exactly.
All those, uh, "I got to see Venice before I die" people.
They'd just put it off.
"You know, maybe I'll go next year.
" Or or they'd go 100 times.
And then they'd be like, "eh.
Let's stay home.
Too many pigeons.
" Those gondola seats hurt my ass.
It just does not sound fun.
Okay.
Yay, death.
Yay, death.
Dr.
Sherman, I do declare, you've become an optimist.
You take that back.
Thank you for not forgetting me.
Never.
I'll see you again soon.
I hope so.
Knock, knock.
Ready for a little lunch? Oh, why not? Bring on the jell-o.
Somebody's happy today.
Mm.
Dr.
Sherman put me in a good mood.
Heh.
Now, there's a sentence I never expected to say.
When I first met him, I thought he was the least friendly person I had ever met.
I mean, a real asshole.
Pardon my French.
But you get to know him, and he's just he's a big softie.
I mean, he was someone's funny smart, soft kid.
Makes me just want to give him a big hug.
Yeah, I miss seeing his face around here.
Oh, he'll be back, I'm sure.
Honey Dr.
Sherman passed away last week.
I'm so sorry.
Who's daddy's little baby princess? Good girl.
See? See, Sparkle? See how nice it is here? See? Nothing nothing bad's gonna happen now.
Nothing bad is gonna happen now.
Nothing bad is gonna happen now.
Nothing bad is gonna happen.
Nothing bad is gonna happen now.
Nothing bad is gonna happen now.
Breakfast for dinner.
Going for a walk around the floor? Oh, I thought I'd go a little further than that.
Let me call an orderly, then.
He can take you out for some air.
No, that's okay.
My son's gonna pick me up.
I'm gonna be gone for a few hours, so don't wait up.
Mrs.
Jamison, you can't leave.
You're weak.
That's exactly why I have to leave, nurse Valerie.
I need to see venice.
- Venice? - It's an analogy.
For you, it might be the Florida keys or the Kentucky derby or the spam museum.
And I recommend you really try and make it to the museum.
It looks pretty spiffy.
I really don't think you should go, especially without your I.
V.
Let's see.
The worst that could happen is that I die out there.
And considering that I'm gonna die in here, do we really, honestly care where the deed goes down? And since I'm the one dying, I win.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the twin cities school of art and design annual student fashion show Oh, hi! Featuring the work of Mr.
Isaac Mizrahi's advanced design class.
Oh, you both came! Thank you.
What happened to your eye? Adam beat me up.
Deserved it.
Yeah.
Yeah, he did.
I've never been to a fashion show before.
It's very exciting.
I hear sometimes the boobs fall right out of the dresses.
They just keep on walking.
You're not gonna see boobs, okay? Well, it's still gonna be fun, though, right? It's gonna be awesome.
say it's all right it's all right baby it's all right Dude, you're late.
Sparkles is missing.
I I looked everywhere.
have a good time - Hi! - Hi.
oh it's all right we're gonna move it slow move it slow when the lights are low when the lights are low when you move it slow it sounds like more and it's all right now, listen to the beat kind of tap your feet baby, you got soul everybody knows that it's all right Here we go.
My dress is next.
early in the morning, feelin' sad like so many do Oh, shit.
hold a little soul, make life your goal Oh, shit.
Where's my model? surely something's gonna come home to you Please go see what's going on.
Shit, shit.
Where's my model? baby, it's all right baby, it's all right have a good time, 'cause it's all right now everybody clap your hands now give yourself a chance baby, you got soul everybody knows that it's all right oh, oh - Oh, my God.
- Holy shit.
someday I'll find me a good man who will love me and treat me real nice What is Cathy doing up there? Rockin' the shit out of that runway.
day and night it's all right baby, it's all right baby, it's all right everybody knows that it's all right, whoa Yeah, mom! Whoo! Killin' it! Whoo! - Nice! - Whoo! Oh, you look so pretty, honey! - Mom, whoo! - Oh, yeah! Thank you.
I don't remember Hmm.
remember your face stuck with the moments tied to my waist if I could remember remember your name would you notice nothing's the same? and I don't remember remember your name please now forgive me I'm not the one who tried to destroy you my only son and I heard your voice I heard you leave I tried to destroy you they cut off your feet and I hope you notice that I'm not the one oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh