The West Wing s04e03 Episode Script
College Kids
Previously on The West Wing: It's fun.
I like you.
I've been trying to get it in under the wire.
Two pipe bombs were set off inside the Geiger Indoor Arena.
- Forty-four people were - Killed at Kennison State University.
- I'm Matt Kelley.
- I'm Toby Ziegler.
I work at the White House.
You have a minute to talk? We have reason to believe in the next 48 hours the Qumari rescue team will announce they recovered a military-issue Israeli parachute.
- What do we do? - We're in the Situation Room.
Let's go.
Ten-hut.
Nancy's in her office.
There are some calls I asked her to make.
I told the president about the parachute.
Tommy, do they make parachutes in Israel? They're saying it's an Israeli-made parachute.
- They make them.
They're good ones.
- Listen, I know we're here for a serious purpose, for a sober purpose but I wanted to say I've never been part of a street gang before.
That's basically what we are.
A pretty well-financed one, but anyway I wanted to say it feels good and when we're done with this meeting we should go out and get girls maybe knock over a fruit stand or something.
- Okay.
- We're gonna need to learn to sing and dance.
The information's basically coming from the NSC operations unit.
A cell phone intercept between the sultan and Habib.
"The Butcher of Kafr will have no choice but to resign.
" We're sure he's talking about Israel? "The Butcher of Kafr will have no choice but to resign.
" - Well, B movie dialogue aside - Toby and Josh are back.
Toby Ziegler and Josh Lyman missed the motorcade in Indiana yesterday.
It's taken them 20 hours to get home.
- They're walking into D.
C.
right now.
- Doesn't matter.
Assume the sultan goes to Aljazeera and announces Shareef's plane didn't go down accidentally that it was brought down by the Israelis.
What are the options? - Do nothing.
- Which we can't do.
Call Qumar's bluff, demand they produce proof.
- We can't call their bluff.
- Why? They're calling our bluff.
When they produce manufactured proof we'd have to say, "You manufactured that.
" They'd say,"How do you know?" - So the next option is, we defend Israel.
- You're not curious why they're walking into D.
C.
? - No.
What happens if Hezbollah launches a missile at Israel? - Israel attacks Lebanon -"Walking into D.
C.
from where?" you gotta ask yourself.
- You wanna hunker down? Just for that, when it comes time to give out gang nicknames you're gonna be I don't know, but you're not gonna have a good nickname.
Ellie had a teacher named Mr.
Pordy who had no interest in nuance.
He asked why there's always conflict in the Middle East.
Ellie raised her hand and said, "It's a centuries-old religious conflict involving land and suspicion and culture.
" "Wrong," Mr.
Pordy said.
"It's because it's incredibly hot and there's no water.
" I'm hunkered down.
I'm going to East Lansing.
We're gonna need a lawyer.
There are some 120 news outlets covering the movements of the president.
Only the best ride with me.
The rest consigned to the zoo plane with no moist towelettes.
This is why I'm so disappointed.
With the exceptions of Terry, Mike, Mark and Rachel you all misspelled Muhziriabolah.
- I'm on television.
It was misspelled in your copy, I could tell.
Is there an advance on the speech to the teachers? An advance copy of text? You must be new.
What's he going to say about the pipe bombing? He's obviously gonna talk about it, but I don't know.
The filing center's behind the press riser.
You'll have time while the president meets with the executive board.
- Open to the pool? - Pool photos.
He's spoken to the university president? He's spoken to Chancellor Bayless.
The president's accepted an invitation to speak at the memorial on the KSU campus Saturday.
- Anything from the FBI? - I'm referring those questions to Zane Littleton.
I do wanna underline their initial finding: It doesn't appear to be foreign terrorism.
- And that's based on? - The nature of the explosive.
Okay, then.
To Battle Creek Air National Guard Base is an hour, 45 minutes.
It's 45 minutes to Michigan State, where the president will address the delegates from the NEA for 25 minutes.
Josh and Toby aren't on the plane.
They still at a gas station in Unionville? No, they made it home.
Their mothers are relieved.
They've been given a four-hour vacation.
Anything else? M-U-H-Z-I-R-I-A-B-O-L-A-H.
He might get asked about Title IX.
- Why? - Ritchie mentioned yesterday it's worth reexamine, so they'll ask him for a reaction.
Talk to Josh for his first thoughts.
- What are yours? - On Title IX? - I have none.
I'm indifferent.
- You can't be indifferent.
I have to be.
I have only so much RAM in my head.
I have to prioritize.
I have to throw some things overboard so I've chosen not to care whether or not Purdue has a fencing team.
- Sam.
- Bruno.
This is Debbie Fiderer, the president's new exec.
Bruno Gianelli, general chairman, Committee to Re-elect.
- Hello.
- Hi.
The D.
C.
district court is ruling today on a debate case.
- Know anything? - I think it's Sullivan v.
Commission on Presidential Debates.
ABC, CBS, NBC News, et al.
This is the third-party rule - It happens every four years.
- All right.
There are 500 citizen lawsuits trying to get their guy in the debate.
- It never goes anywhere.
- All right.
Fiderer's a funny name.
It's not ha-ha funny.
It's just, you know Okay.
Stay on Sullivan v.
Commission on Presidential Debates.
- Yeah.
- It's a guy suing so Stackhouse can be in the debate.
I thought Stackhouse was supposed to endorse the president.
- He is.
He will.
- Why would he be in the debate? Presumably he's endorsing the president because he knew he wouldn't be in the debate - How bad would it be? - It'd be bad.
Which is why, even if he was allowed in, he wouldn't do it.
Stackhouse isn't trying to hurt the president.
But let's get back to you.
Josh Lyman's gonna give you a security and ethics briefing.
Charlie will tell you some things.
You have provisional clearance pending successful completion of the SF-86 and a GC-1 background check.
- What is it? - It's a questionnaire.
Extensive questions on your past personal, professional, financial, pharmaceutical Oh, no, I know the form.
- What is a GC-1? - They contact family members and friends and neighbors and former neighbors to corroborate.
This is fine, but I've worked at the White House before.
At my last job, the background check wasn't this extensive You have a button on your phone.
A crash button.
A crash button which will bring the Secret Service, turning your office into a live microphone which'll be broadcast all over the building.
You push it if someone's trying to take the Oval Office.
This isn't your last job.
- Sam, we need you in here.
- Excuse me.
Bruno thinks we dump the whole thing.
I think 44 people are dead and we can't give a speech on education.
It's gonna look opportunistic if we talk about lowa at a campaign event.
- Plus we're using the teachers like props.
- He's gotta mention it, though.
- Yeah, he can't not mention it.
- There are dead children and you segue to what? - I don't know.
- I don't know either.
- What are your feelings, sir? I don't know, it's a 7-10 split.
- Could you work on it a while? - Yes, sir.
I'm gonna call Leo.
I'll be in my office.
Let her on in, Becky.
- Good morning.
- Hello.
You look sensational in your Gabriella-something thing there.
- Thank you.
-"Cloak and dagger"? - Look.
-"Cloak and dagger"? - It was one sentence in a two-page note.
- You sent me a note? I was asked here on business, which I usually conduct at my office.
I was gonna come there.
Then I thought, between the lobby the elevator, the reception area, the paralegals area, the associates area and the coffee room of a Washington, D.
C.
, law firm there was a chance someone might recognize the White House chief of staff.
All I meant by"cloak and dagger" is I'm not cut out for security meetings the secret this and back-channel ambassadors.
It's like you're in the Mafia.
It may be like I'm in the Mafia, but I'm not.
I work for the good guys.
It was one sentence.
The problem was, you were never at the other end of the phone.
That's an entirely different kettle of beans, and we can have that discussion.
History's shown if you wait and tell it to a divorce lawyer you can have half my stuff.
- I don't want it.
Some of it's good stuff.
- Where are we going? - Someplace quiet where we can talk.
The White House Situation Room.
We just call it that.
Am I even allowed to be in here? Look at this stuff.
It's a map of North America.
What are you worried about? - Hey, where are you from? - I'm from Lincoln, Nebraska.
Lieutenant, can you throw an Opal Drill up on the wall? Lincoln, Nebraska.
What's it doing? It's showing a first-strike nuclear attack from Beijing and North Korea.
Hey, look at that, Lincoln survives the first of the No, not so much.
Leo? First of all we have to go beyond the normal attorney-client privilege.
This is sensitive.
There are no degrees of attorney-client privilege.
No, I'm talking about state secrets with highest-security classification.
If you told anyone, you'd be convicted of treason and sent to prison.
- No, I wouldn't.
- No, it's nothing like treason.
- But if you told anyone, it'd be bad.
- What? Do you remember last May that a private plane carrying Qumari Defense Minister Abdul Shareef went down near Bermuda and all passengers including Shareef, were dead? - No.
- No? - No.
Okay.
Well, it happened.
Qumar has been investigating the accident because they believe there was foul play.
And we believe In fact, we know they're trying to frame Israel.
- They're producing phony evidence.
- How do you know? I'm sorry.
- You said,"We know.
" How? - Because we do.
- Why isn't it possible for Israel to? - Jordan we know any evidence of assassination is manufactured.
- How? - Because we destroyed all the evidence.
Mr.
McGarry, I have the president on your line.
Yes, sir.
- How's it going? - Fine.
- Is she there? - Yeah.
- What do you know? - Casper's here.
He's gonna talk to me.
- I'll send him to you next, all right? - Thank you.
- What are you about to say? - I don't know.
I have about two minutes.
Okay.
"The bullying nature of the intrusive and invasive government of the U.
S.
has to be rendered quickly and decisively a wake-up call, and this" - What do you think of this? - He's not Tom Paine.
- No.
- It's rhetoric common to separatists.
They're telling us that English is his first language.
But he's not very well educated.
- Is it credible? - Yes, sir.
- You think it was sent by the bomber? - Or his group.
- We think there's a group.
- We don't know.
- Now, you've been told - The end of the letter promises more.
Yes, sir.
In the next 48 hours.
Obviously, we expected that.
It's what they always say.
Unless what? That's where I'm confused.
He didn't make any demands, sir.
This letter isn't a threat.
It's an announcement.
All right, what do you have? "We will catch the perpetrators, we will track them down, we'll punish them" along those lines.
- It's too early for Rocky.
- Plus, once you catch a perpetrator you don't need to track him down.
- He likes the rhythm.
- It was his line.
- It's a dummy phrase.
It's a placeholder.
I think I'm just gonna talk a little bit.
-"Joy cometh in the morning," sir.
- Thank you.
The president of the United States.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
"Joy cometh in the morning," Scripture tells us.
I hope so.
I don't know if life would be worth living if it didn't.
And I don't yet know who set off the bomb at Kennison State.
I don't know if it's one person or 10 and I don't know what they want.
All I know for sure, all I know for certain is that they weren't born wanting to do this.
There's evil in the world.
There'll always be.
We can't do anything about that.
But there's violence in our schools too much mayhem in our culture, and we can do something about that.
There's not enough character, discipline, depth in our classrooms.
There aren't enough teachers in our classrooms.
There isn't nearly enough, not nearly enough not nearly enough money in our classrooms.
And we can do something about that.
We're not doing nearly enough not nearly enough, to teach our children well.
And we can do better and we must do better and we will do better.
And we will start this moment today.
They weren't born wanting to do this.
I've been thinking about an egg salad sandwich on a kaiser roll.
If it's Milos making the potato salad, then potato salad.
If it's not, then a potato in any other form will be fine.
Why did you tell me that? I didn't.
I was talking to Margaret.
- I know that.
-She knows that, sir.
She meant He's got a secret ingredient in the potato salad that makes you crave it beyond what's reasonable for something like that.
I'm, like, two, three forkfuls away from the final piece of the puzzle and then this monkey's off my back.
- Why you know, in the world, did you tell me what you just did? I was ordered to by the president.
- He told you to talk to me? - He told me to contact a lawyer.
Commander, Jordan Kendall, please.
First, that's a nice picture of you.
Sometimes these pictures aren't that nice.
But look at that smile.
You could light up Chicago.
- You have this at the push of a button? - No.
You give these guys some notice, they can put on a show.
Second page, please.
Maxwell School of Diplomacy and International Relations.
Associate counsel, U.
S.
Delegation to the United Nations.
General counsel, U.
S.
Delegation to the United Nations.
General counsel for the United Nations.
You found out you can buy stuff with money.
Page three, please.
Partner, Whitcom, Wiley, Hawking, Harrison and Kendall.
Was there a Burt Kendall? Is his portrait hanging in the partners' dining room? - No.
- They're talking about you, right? - Wasn't my idea to add my name.
Raise the profile of the international law department.
A specialty in international law, you say.
Interesting.
Have you experienced dealing in matters that receive wide media coverage? - Let's take a trip to page four.
- You have a good time doing this, right? You don't even know.
Orlando Ruiz of the 101-mile-an-hour fastball and Cuban citizenship.
Richard White of Lackland Chemical and wrongful death I do not have experience with what you're talking about.
I don't have experience with what you're talking about.
Nobody does.
We're talking about we killed Shareef.
We put 14 bullets in his chest on an airstrip in Bermuda.
It's helpful to start saying it out loud.
-I'm sorry, Leo? - Yeah.
There's a message here from Harold Harrison saying there's about to be a decision from district court.
It's not what you think.
Come down here and show Miss Kendall out.
Excuse me.
Donna? Josh? - Josh? - Yes? I have to talk to you.
- I have to talk to you.
- Me first.
- Why's that? - It's important.
- Okay.
- Go ahead.
- You go.
- I'm perfectly fine waiting.
- I have the patience of an adult.
- 20 seconds.
Came to me in my sleep.
The paper was there when I got home.
Page two of the business section, there's an article about Redstar and the $35 million retention bonus they gave to - I can't remember his name.
- Wadkins.
So we all know that CEOs get bonuses that workers don't but in the sixth graph they talk about Congress ending deductibility of salaries over a million and that the measure excluded items the IRS deemed incentive-based.
In other words, the bonuses are tax-deductible.
In other words Wadkins gets 35 million for crashing the company and the company gets a deduction.
Toby, college costs investment in the future workforce, in innovation, in the ideas economy in crime reduction, isn't that a better use of capital than writing off the bonuses? The guy last night in the bar Matt Kelley the one who was taking his daughter to visit colleges he said it needs to be just a little easier.
Not a lot easier, a little.
Toby, every nickel spent on college tuition should be 100 percent tax-deductible.
Not capped and indexed and bracketed.
Every nickel, 100 percent.
What? That's exactly what I was gonna tell you.
No, it wasn't.
Exactly.
You're saying that now just to make it seem - I'm gonna make some time with Leo.
- And figure out how to pay for it.
- Good.
- Good.
- Hello.
- Hey.
- Did you sleep all right? - I did, but then I read this thing and - How you doing? - Good.
What's on for tonight? He'll meet with the state party chair.
Say energizing things.
- We in danger of losing Massachusetts? - No.
- Why am I doing this? - Because.
- I can't just go to the event? - No.
- Why? - Everybody's going to the campaign and we spent 20 hours getting out of Indiana.
- Who's at Rock the Vote? - Aimee Mann, Barenaked Ladies Chrissie Hynde, Sixpence None the Richer Diamondback Whale, Next Big Thing the Cruel Shoes and Single-Cell Paramecium.
You've been practicing for when I asked, right? - Yes.
- And you made up the Cruel Shoes.
- No, Single-Cell Paramecium.
- Okay.
The motorcade.
We're here! - Would you stop? - We're here! You know, everybody's really over that now.
Admiral Scott, your expedition's returned.
Look at you, Don Quixote de la Mancha.
- Don Quixote wasn't an explorer.
- No, but he rode around on a horse.
- You sleep? - I did better.
Keep it to yourself.
I need you to weigh in on Ritchie and Title IX.
- Yeah, I saw that.
I wrote a memo.
- Thank you.
Toby and I are working on tuition that would be one - Josh.
- They're back.
- They are? - Yeah.
- They being funny? - It's over.
- Barnum, Bailey and their sister, Sue.
- They're almost over it.
We wanna talk to you about an issue that should be in the campaign.
You know that district court is ruling on Sullivan? - V.
Commission on Presidential Debates? - Yeah.
- They're never gonna rule for him.
- Sullivan? Yeah, never gonna rule for him.
Suit gets brought all the time.
I wouldn't be concerned, but Justice Wingding heard the case.
- Wengland? He's not so crazy.
- Yeah? - Hey.
- We're back.
We're never leaving again.
- Your mother and I were worried.
- Me too.
Fellas? Tell him not to worry about the district court.
I told him.
They're not ruling for Sullivan.
- He's worried because it's Wengland.
- He's not that crazy.
I'm not that comfortable with a federal judge being even a little bit crazy.
- I'm going back to my office.
The speech to the teachers this morning? I have never seen anything like it.
You would have been proud.
- We're gonna win this election.
- I do know.
- Leo? - They ruled for Sullivan.
- They ruled for Sullivan? - Yeah.
C.
J.
, when you guys vet your judicial candidates, do you go so far as to meet and speak with them? - Can I see a copy of the decision? "The commission, a tax-exempt entity, is legally precluded from partisan politics of any kind.
The 15 percent rule benefiting two major parties is partisan politics of the worst kind.
Regulatory duopoly, democracy by favoristic fiat, a bureaucratic junta - Yes.
that's prohibited under federal law.
" There's no way"favoristic" is a word.
We agree with you but don't think it's grounds for appeal.
- We won't have to search high and low.
- This means what I think? No one can be excluded from the debates.
You can be excluded, but the bar is set much The Libertarian Party, Natural Law, Right to Life, Right to Left.
Republicans we're gonna probably let in.
The appeals process is gonna take too long.
We're gonna have to go to the Supreme Court.
Sam they can stay the effect in advance of appeal, right? - Yeah.
- You gotta get Ritchie's people to join us in the motion.
- Oh, yeah.
All right.
- Sam? - Yeah? I had a thought before, and Toby claims to have had the same thought.
- I showed you DNA evidence When Congress put the million-dollar cap on deducting salary they left a loophole for incentive-based bonuses.
Yeah.
Are not all bonuses incentive-based? Are there any bonuses you get just automatically? Isn't that called salary? Which is also incentive-based, by the way.
People wouldn't work without one.
- Sam.
- Come back to the pack? Why isn't college tuition Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? What if we capped it at 80,000? - You're really talking about this? - Yes.
Pay for it by closing the loophole for bonuses? Nobody's talked to OMB, but I think it costs 50 billion.
Closing the loophole is about 35 billion, am I close? - Yeah, and 15 billion's getable through - Yosh? - She's talking to me, right? - Yeah.
- I'm reading your memo.
- Memo? - Machismo manifesto.
- Title IX? - Oh, yeah.
- Bruno asked me to weigh in.
Can't imagine why he called on you.
I was asked, as a campaign issue, if we should reexamine Title IX which is a wedge with male voters in Ohio, Michigan and North Carolina.
- So are a lot of things.
- There's something fair but dumb about a fifty-fifty split when more men are interested in sports than women.
And don't cite the WNBA and soccer.
More men are interested in sports than women.
We don't need a study to tell us that, but if we did there's about 493 of them.
Will you talk to someone in Stackhouse's camp? - About the Sullivan decision? - Should make sure.
Court's gonna stay the judgment.
But if not, Stackhouse'll pass on the debate.
He's not out to kill.
He wants to keep him honest.
Make a courtesy call so we're not taking him for granted.
- I'll call Stackhouse.
Since Title IX, women's participation in sport has increased 800 percent.
- That's not a typo.
It worked.
- Okay.
- Hello.
- Yes.
- Okay, how was your day so far? - Very exciting.
- You had your security briefing? - Yes.
I'd like to go through your answers on the SF-86.
- Sure.
- Three years ago you were asked: "Have you ever been an officer, member or made a contribution to an organization dedicated to the violent overthrow of the government?" - You answered yes.
- Yes.
- You answered yes.
- I see where you're going with this.
- Do you? - I do.
While we respect your right to overthrow we don't respect your right to do it violently, nor from inside the Oval Office.
I worked in Personnel when I answered that.
I did it to demonstrate a problem with the form.
If the FBI wants people to admit to extremist tendencies they've got to tailor a more subtle question.
Like,"Have you ever participated in organizations that seek radical solutions to egregious social problems?" - I've had some experience with this.
- So has the FBI.
Is this gonna screw me up? Not this probably as much as when you suggested killing the president.
- I did not.
- Yeah, you did.
No, sir.
"Let's stick arsenic in President Bartlet's water and see if he delegates responsibility to World Bank then.
" Where it says"arsenic," that should read "Schweppes Bitter Lemon.
" - I don't know how that - Debbie.
Thirty-five million people in Bangladesh were drinking contaminated water.
The White House said they supported World Bank's efforts to address it but made no move to intervene independently.
I wrote a letter.
- The FBI read it as a threat.
- It wasn't.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- I'm not being ridiculous, Debbie.
I was, however, 4 feet away from him when the guns started firing.
I know.
I apologize.
Who can I talk to? I want this job, Charlie.
I didn't before, and I do now.
Who can I talk to? Let me find out.
- What else? - It's making rounds Governor Ritchie called the chancellor.
- What's wrong? - He's angling for an invitation to the memorial.
- He wants to speak.
- For the love of Mike.
Chancellor was with us in lowa.
The Ritchie people were saying allowing you to be national healer-in-chief Win or lose on the 5th, I'm the president right now, right? Yeah, I'm almost sure.
Six of the girls were exactly Zoey's age.
Tell the chancellor's office if it'll make his life easier, I'll sit in row 19.
You keep out the press.
This has to be about students and families.
Ritchie and I are gonna have to summon humanity to keep it from being a political event.
- Yes.
Good afternoon, Mr.
President.
- Claudia Jean.
- Sailor.
- In the Oval Office you've really - No.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
How'd you do with Jordan? She's a little wary, but she might be willing to go out again.
- But you meant the other problem.
- Yeah.
- She's a little wary.
- Yeah.
She's gone to her office, then going home for the day.
She's gonna think.
All right.
In the meantime, what do we have by way of stalling tactics? - A misinformation campaign.
- We ought to be good at that.
Sir, State feels Shareef was never comfortable with the sultan's friendly relationship with the West.
State thinks he had a friendly relationship with the West.
The one-eyed man is king in a world of Whatever.
We leak that Shareef used his U.
S.
trip as an opportunity to fly to Libya.
Shareef is now alive and well and living in Libya? And planning to overthrow his brother and install a fundamentalist regime.
All right.
Come back and tell me how we do it.
Yes, sir.
Blind men.
The one-eyed man is king in a world of blind men.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
- Special Agent Casper? - Yes, please.
- Good afternoon.
- What do you know? We say the manuscript was credible.
We ran a search using more of the unique rhetoric or catch phrases.
We found a match.
A lot was lifted off the website of a separatist group called the Liberation Cause.
A splinter of the Patriot Brotherhood.
The Internet has been a phenomenal tool for hate groups.
You should know we're working on some leads.
Don't pipe bombs usually kill just two or three people? - Yes, sir.
- How was it so many yesterday? The bombs were set off indoors, sir.
There was a huge fire.
- Anything else, sir? - No, thanks.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
Ten of those things under the bleachers at a basketball game? - They've got good leads.
- Okay.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
Charlie? - Yes, sir.
- In ascending order of age get my daughters on the phone, please.
- Yes, sir.
- Thank you.
I just tried Stackhouse again.
He hasn't returned? - Stackhouse is gonna be fine.
- I've called twice.
At 55,000.
Matt Kelley's in the 27.
5 percent bracket.
Assume he takes the standard deductions.
Let's forget mortgage payments.
- What's his tax liability? - 13,300.
Tuition at Notre Dame is 25,850.
Let's throw in books, room and board and it's $34,000.
Saying books are tax-deductible too, right? Beer should be tax-deductible, but we'll live to fight another day.
So with one kid in college Matt Kelley's tax liability just dropped from 13,300 to 3800? If we get this done, it'll be a good day's work.
Let's take it to C.
J.
when she gets off.
Barenaked Ladies, helping out in the delivery room of American democracy the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
Twenty-five years ago, half of all 18- to 24-year-olds voted.
Today it's 25 percent.
but only account for 7 percent of voters.
Government isn't about you? How many of you have student loans to pay? How many have credit card debt? How many want clean air and clean water and civil liberties? How many want jobs? How many want kids? How many want their kids to go to good schools and walk on safe streets? Decisions are made by those who show up.
You gotta rock the vote! - What's going on? - Casper's got something.
Mr.
President, three hours ago, sheriff's deputies in Johnson County, lowa were tipped off that several men in their 20s bought all the pseudoephedrine they could get their hands on.
Three stores they went to were owned by the same man.
- Allergy medicine? - That, with tractor starter fluid strained through a coffee filter, is meth.
Tractor starter fluid doesn't kill you? No, it'll kill you.
First you'll get pretty high.
The sheriff's deputies were shot at from the house.
These might be our guys? The address and name of occupants match a couple names we've linked to Patriot Brotherhood.
We have reason to believe they're connected to KSU? They're telling us they are.
They're also telling us they have MAC-10s, MP5s and CAR15s.
- Are there kids inside? - Yes, sir.
Let's get the director and the attorney general.
We only go in on my order, okay? lt'll be my order.
Yes, sir.
You just knew it was gonna end up like this.
- Good evening, Mr.
President.
- Allergy medicine and tractor fluid we're getting high on now.
- All right.
Getting strippers? - How do we do it? - Langley manufactures documents photographs, audio messages, even a body double if necessary.
- Is this gonna get ridiculous? - Absolutely.
We make sure agents in Iraq, Syria and Iran get a whiff of the story and word inside and outside the palace spreads.
- We'll see it on Aljazeera? - If we do our jobs.
No disinformation to U.
S.
press, right? We don't give disinformation to American press.
- Unless it's about my medical history? - Yes, sir.
- All right, let's go.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
All this posturing is a preamble to something.
You ready to say hello? Why not? - Hey, Jordan.
- Good evening, Mr.
President.
- What do you think? - I'm sorry, sir? What do you think? - I don't know.
- Yeah.
I have to tell you, I'm very uncomfortable knowing what I know.
That makes three of us.
- I haven't had any sort of time - Take all the time you want.
You done yet? You understand, domestically you're looking at possible injury to separation of powers internationally, a possible war crimes charge.
At the very least we'd be wading up to our necks into unprecedented legal waters exposing the presidency to culpability undreamed of by creators of the U.
N.
and the U.
S.
Constitution.
That makes us groundbreaking, doesn't it? Mr.
President, I've defended guilty people before but never had a client that was willing to admit the crime but didn't expect to go to trial.
- More groundbreaking.
Due respect, Mr.
President, this isn't funny.
Due respect, Ms.
Kendall I'm the last person to whom that needs to be pointed out.
And Article 51 of the United Nations Charter says every nation has the right to wage war to defend itself.
The article's incumbent on wars being declared.
Wars don't work like that anymore.
Laws work like that.
Forty-four people are dead in lowa and most of them college kids.
Shareef has murdered Americans in uniform, Americans out of uniform.
He tried to blow up the Golden Gate Bridge.
I didn't have time to file an amicus brief.
How can justice served in secret be justice? I don't know.
I'm working on that.
Anyway, at the moment I'm having trouble foreseeing the exact legal consequences on the international stage.
Why? Because most of international law doesn't exist yet.
Well, that's what I was hoping you'd say.
I want there to be justice.
That's why I'm talking to a lawyer.
Anyway, I just came in to say hello.
Charlie? - Yes, sir.
- I'm heading back to the residence.
- Do you have a moment for Debbie? - Oh, God.
Yeah.
- Good evening, Mr.
President.
- Arsenic? You gotta give me points for Nothing.
Nothing you can give me points for.
I don't get any points.
- No.
- I sincerely apologize.
It was a higher environmental cancer risk than Chernobyl.
We spend 20 million a year on strategic milk reserve.
We can't toss Why couldn't you just stop with"I sincerely apologize"? - I should have.
I see that now - Your argument is fakakta, by the way.
The World Bank has a $ 17 billion budget contributed by 100 Doesn't matter, don't worry.
-"Don't worry about it.
" - Yeah.
- I don't know what that means.
- You can keep the job.
Great.
Why? Why? Because you knock me out, that's why.
How did I do that? "Let's stick some arsenic in President Bartlet's drinking water and see if he delegates responsibility to the World Bank then.
" "President Bartlet.
" You referred to me and to the office with respect.
You're a class act.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
- Wack job.
Yes, sir.
It's not the fault of women's sports, it's the fault of football.
- It's the fault of football? - Yeah.
Football pays for the other sports.
There are 53 players on an NFL team.
The University of Colorado has 130, I'm for backups and substitutes, but can't the guy who's fourth on the depth chart at right linebacker also be fourth at left linebacker? If a college football team cut back to 70 scholarships they'd be three deep at every position and have a fourth-string punter and place-kicker.
Fifteen scholarships.
That's a wrestling team.
Excuse me.
Hey.
- What are you doing up here? - I do some work for these guys.
- It's a great event.
- Yeah.
- You look good.
- Yeah? No, you look tired.
You look good.
Yes, I know.
Hey, did you? I heard you got left behind by the motorcade.
Yeah.
It took us 20 hours to get out of Indiana.
You should've been with us.
- You would've had fun.
- I would've.
I don't know what to say about the pipe bombing.
There's nothing to say.
- I miss you.
- I was trying to call Stackhouse - I'm sorry? - What did you say? - You said you called Howard? - I haven't heard back.
- What'd you say? - Calling about Sullivan? They're not returning my call.
I shouldn't be nervous, right? - No, you should be.
- Did you say you missed me? - Josh - I should be nervous? - We're considering -"We"? Stackhouse.
The district court says Howard Stackhouse can appear in the debates.
Is Stackhouse under new management? It's been For debate prep.
It's been offered to me.
This is not the deal we made with them.
In one week, he is supposed to endorse the president.
- He never thought he'd get in.
- He's not! So he's moving you from consultant to I don't know, it's all happening fast.
It's just today.
I'm considering it.
It wasn't the deal we had.
I miss you.
You gotta ask yourself multimillion-dollar bonuses are deductible, not tuition? Corporations donate to the members of tax-writing committees.
I didn't mean you really had to ask.
I knew you knew the answer.
Ritchie's already coming after us for politicizing the budget.
Plus, Leo hates to make policy through tax code because we can't do reform without unraveling it.
Was that Amy? Yeah.
If the Sullivan decision's upheld Stackhouse wants into the debate.
He's not gonna endorse the president.
- Had to see that coming.
- I'm calling Bruno.
Court's gonna stay the effect.
He won't be in the debate.
Josh'll take care of it.
- Anyway, college tuitions - Another reason not to do it There are a lot of reasons not to do it.
But we met a guy last night at an airport hotel in the bar.
His daughter was upstairs in the room.
They'd been looking at colleges.
He makes $55,000 a year.
His mutual fund got beat up yesterday on Wall Street.
He was so happy to be taking his daughter to colleges.
He came downstairs to the bar.
He didn't want her to see that he didn't know how he was gonna pay for it.
There are a lot of reasons not to do it.
But the president said, "There are two kinds of politicians" "Ones who try to say yes and ones who try to say no.
" We're gonna throw these guys out because they wanna say no.
If we're gonna get thrown out, I don't want it to be for that.
Let's take it to Leo.
Hello? - Matt? Matt? - Yeah? It's for you.
A man named Toby Ziegler.
You know him? Yeah.
- Hello? - Matt? It's me, from last night.
We got home fine, thanks.
Now, let me tell you what we're working on.
I like you.
I've been trying to get it in under the wire.
Two pipe bombs were set off inside the Geiger Indoor Arena.
- Forty-four people were - Killed at Kennison State University.
- I'm Matt Kelley.
- I'm Toby Ziegler.
I work at the White House.
You have a minute to talk? We have reason to believe in the next 48 hours the Qumari rescue team will announce they recovered a military-issue Israeli parachute.
- What do we do? - We're in the Situation Room.
Let's go.
Ten-hut.
Nancy's in her office.
There are some calls I asked her to make.
I told the president about the parachute.
Tommy, do they make parachutes in Israel? They're saying it's an Israeli-made parachute.
- They make them.
They're good ones.
- Listen, I know we're here for a serious purpose, for a sober purpose but I wanted to say I've never been part of a street gang before.
That's basically what we are.
A pretty well-financed one, but anyway I wanted to say it feels good and when we're done with this meeting we should go out and get girls maybe knock over a fruit stand or something.
- Okay.
- We're gonna need to learn to sing and dance.
The information's basically coming from the NSC operations unit.
A cell phone intercept between the sultan and Habib.
"The Butcher of Kafr will have no choice but to resign.
" We're sure he's talking about Israel? "The Butcher of Kafr will have no choice but to resign.
" - Well, B movie dialogue aside - Toby and Josh are back.
Toby Ziegler and Josh Lyman missed the motorcade in Indiana yesterday.
It's taken them 20 hours to get home.
- They're walking into D.
C.
right now.
- Doesn't matter.
Assume the sultan goes to Aljazeera and announces Shareef's plane didn't go down accidentally that it was brought down by the Israelis.
What are the options? - Do nothing.
- Which we can't do.
Call Qumar's bluff, demand they produce proof.
- We can't call their bluff.
- Why? They're calling our bluff.
When they produce manufactured proof we'd have to say, "You manufactured that.
" They'd say,"How do you know?" - So the next option is, we defend Israel.
- You're not curious why they're walking into D.
C.
? - No.
What happens if Hezbollah launches a missile at Israel? - Israel attacks Lebanon -"Walking into D.
C.
from where?" you gotta ask yourself.
- You wanna hunker down? Just for that, when it comes time to give out gang nicknames you're gonna be I don't know, but you're not gonna have a good nickname.
Ellie had a teacher named Mr.
Pordy who had no interest in nuance.
He asked why there's always conflict in the Middle East.
Ellie raised her hand and said, "It's a centuries-old religious conflict involving land and suspicion and culture.
" "Wrong," Mr.
Pordy said.
"It's because it's incredibly hot and there's no water.
" I'm hunkered down.
I'm going to East Lansing.
We're gonna need a lawyer.
There are some 120 news outlets covering the movements of the president.
Only the best ride with me.
The rest consigned to the zoo plane with no moist towelettes.
This is why I'm so disappointed.
With the exceptions of Terry, Mike, Mark and Rachel you all misspelled Muhziriabolah.
- I'm on television.
It was misspelled in your copy, I could tell.
Is there an advance on the speech to the teachers? An advance copy of text? You must be new.
What's he going to say about the pipe bombing? He's obviously gonna talk about it, but I don't know.
The filing center's behind the press riser.
You'll have time while the president meets with the executive board.
- Open to the pool? - Pool photos.
He's spoken to the university president? He's spoken to Chancellor Bayless.
The president's accepted an invitation to speak at the memorial on the KSU campus Saturday.
- Anything from the FBI? - I'm referring those questions to Zane Littleton.
I do wanna underline their initial finding: It doesn't appear to be foreign terrorism.
- And that's based on? - The nature of the explosive.
Okay, then.
To Battle Creek Air National Guard Base is an hour, 45 minutes.
It's 45 minutes to Michigan State, where the president will address the delegates from the NEA for 25 minutes.
Josh and Toby aren't on the plane.
They still at a gas station in Unionville? No, they made it home.
Their mothers are relieved.
They've been given a four-hour vacation.
Anything else? M-U-H-Z-I-R-I-A-B-O-L-A-H.
He might get asked about Title IX.
- Why? - Ritchie mentioned yesterday it's worth reexamine, so they'll ask him for a reaction.
Talk to Josh for his first thoughts.
- What are yours? - On Title IX? - I have none.
I'm indifferent.
- You can't be indifferent.
I have to be.
I have only so much RAM in my head.
I have to prioritize.
I have to throw some things overboard so I've chosen not to care whether or not Purdue has a fencing team.
- Sam.
- Bruno.
This is Debbie Fiderer, the president's new exec.
Bruno Gianelli, general chairman, Committee to Re-elect.
- Hello.
- Hi.
The D.
C.
district court is ruling today on a debate case.
- Know anything? - I think it's Sullivan v.
Commission on Presidential Debates.
ABC, CBS, NBC News, et al.
This is the third-party rule - It happens every four years.
- All right.
There are 500 citizen lawsuits trying to get their guy in the debate.
- It never goes anywhere.
- All right.
Fiderer's a funny name.
It's not ha-ha funny.
It's just, you know Okay.
Stay on Sullivan v.
Commission on Presidential Debates.
- Yeah.
- It's a guy suing so Stackhouse can be in the debate.
I thought Stackhouse was supposed to endorse the president.
- He is.
He will.
- Why would he be in the debate? Presumably he's endorsing the president because he knew he wouldn't be in the debate - How bad would it be? - It'd be bad.
Which is why, even if he was allowed in, he wouldn't do it.
Stackhouse isn't trying to hurt the president.
But let's get back to you.
Josh Lyman's gonna give you a security and ethics briefing.
Charlie will tell you some things.
You have provisional clearance pending successful completion of the SF-86 and a GC-1 background check.
- What is it? - It's a questionnaire.
Extensive questions on your past personal, professional, financial, pharmaceutical Oh, no, I know the form.
- What is a GC-1? - They contact family members and friends and neighbors and former neighbors to corroborate.
This is fine, but I've worked at the White House before.
At my last job, the background check wasn't this extensive You have a button on your phone.
A crash button.
A crash button which will bring the Secret Service, turning your office into a live microphone which'll be broadcast all over the building.
You push it if someone's trying to take the Oval Office.
This isn't your last job.
- Sam, we need you in here.
- Excuse me.
Bruno thinks we dump the whole thing.
I think 44 people are dead and we can't give a speech on education.
It's gonna look opportunistic if we talk about lowa at a campaign event.
- Plus we're using the teachers like props.
- He's gotta mention it, though.
- Yeah, he can't not mention it.
- There are dead children and you segue to what? - I don't know.
- I don't know either.
- What are your feelings, sir? I don't know, it's a 7-10 split.
- Could you work on it a while? - Yes, sir.
I'm gonna call Leo.
I'll be in my office.
Let her on in, Becky.
- Good morning.
- Hello.
You look sensational in your Gabriella-something thing there.
- Thank you.
-"Cloak and dagger"? - Look.
-"Cloak and dagger"? - It was one sentence in a two-page note.
- You sent me a note? I was asked here on business, which I usually conduct at my office.
I was gonna come there.
Then I thought, between the lobby the elevator, the reception area, the paralegals area, the associates area and the coffee room of a Washington, D.
C.
, law firm there was a chance someone might recognize the White House chief of staff.
All I meant by"cloak and dagger" is I'm not cut out for security meetings the secret this and back-channel ambassadors.
It's like you're in the Mafia.
It may be like I'm in the Mafia, but I'm not.
I work for the good guys.
It was one sentence.
The problem was, you were never at the other end of the phone.
That's an entirely different kettle of beans, and we can have that discussion.
History's shown if you wait and tell it to a divorce lawyer you can have half my stuff.
- I don't want it.
Some of it's good stuff.
- Where are we going? - Someplace quiet where we can talk.
The White House Situation Room.
We just call it that.
Am I even allowed to be in here? Look at this stuff.
It's a map of North America.
What are you worried about? - Hey, where are you from? - I'm from Lincoln, Nebraska.
Lieutenant, can you throw an Opal Drill up on the wall? Lincoln, Nebraska.
What's it doing? It's showing a first-strike nuclear attack from Beijing and North Korea.
Hey, look at that, Lincoln survives the first of the No, not so much.
Leo? First of all we have to go beyond the normal attorney-client privilege.
This is sensitive.
There are no degrees of attorney-client privilege.
No, I'm talking about state secrets with highest-security classification.
If you told anyone, you'd be convicted of treason and sent to prison.
- No, I wouldn't.
- No, it's nothing like treason.
- But if you told anyone, it'd be bad.
- What? Do you remember last May that a private plane carrying Qumari Defense Minister Abdul Shareef went down near Bermuda and all passengers including Shareef, were dead? - No.
- No? - No.
Okay.
Well, it happened.
Qumar has been investigating the accident because they believe there was foul play.
And we believe In fact, we know they're trying to frame Israel.
- They're producing phony evidence.
- How do you know? I'm sorry.
- You said,"We know.
" How? - Because we do.
- Why isn't it possible for Israel to? - Jordan we know any evidence of assassination is manufactured.
- How? - Because we destroyed all the evidence.
Mr.
McGarry, I have the president on your line.
Yes, sir.
- How's it going? - Fine.
- Is she there? - Yeah.
- What do you know? - Casper's here.
He's gonna talk to me.
- I'll send him to you next, all right? - Thank you.
- What are you about to say? - I don't know.
I have about two minutes.
Okay.
"The bullying nature of the intrusive and invasive government of the U.
S.
has to be rendered quickly and decisively a wake-up call, and this" - What do you think of this? - He's not Tom Paine.
- No.
- It's rhetoric common to separatists.
They're telling us that English is his first language.
But he's not very well educated.
- Is it credible? - Yes, sir.
- You think it was sent by the bomber? - Or his group.
- We think there's a group.
- We don't know.
- Now, you've been told - The end of the letter promises more.
Yes, sir.
In the next 48 hours.
Obviously, we expected that.
It's what they always say.
Unless what? That's where I'm confused.
He didn't make any demands, sir.
This letter isn't a threat.
It's an announcement.
All right, what do you have? "We will catch the perpetrators, we will track them down, we'll punish them" along those lines.
- It's too early for Rocky.
- Plus, once you catch a perpetrator you don't need to track him down.
- He likes the rhythm.
- It was his line.
- It's a dummy phrase.
It's a placeholder.
I think I'm just gonna talk a little bit.
-"Joy cometh in the morning," sir.
- Thank you.
The president of the United States.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
"Joy cometh in the morning," Scripture tells us.
I hope so.
I don't know if life would be worth living if it didn't.
And I don't yet know who set off the bomb at Kennison State.
I don't know if it's one person or 10 and I don't know what they want.
All I know for sure, all I know for certain is that they weren't born wanting to do this.
There's evil in the world.
There'll always be.
We can't do anything about that.
But there's violence in our schools too much mayhem in our culture, and we can do something about that.
There's not enough character, discipline, depth in our classrooms.
There aren't enough teachers in our classrooms.
There isn't nearly enough, not nearly enough not nearly enough money in our classrooms.
And we can do something about that.
We're not doing nearly enough not nearly enough, to teach our children well.
And we can do better and we must do better and we will do better.
And we will start this moment today.
They weren't born wanting to do this.
I've been thinking about an egg salad sandwich on a kaiser roll.
If it's Milos making the potato salad, then potato salad.
If it's not, then a potato in any other form will be fine.
Why did you tell me that? I didn't.
I was talking to Margaret.
- I know that.
-She knows that, sir.
She meant He's got a secret ingredient in the potato salad that makes you crave it beyond what's reasonable for something like that.
I'm, like, two, three forkfuls away from the final piece of the puzzle and then this monkey's off my back.
- Why you know, in the world, did you tell me what you just did? I was ordered to by the president.
- He told you to talk to me? - He told me to contact a lawyer.
Commander, Jordan Kendall, please.
First, that's a nice picture of you.
Sometimes these pictures aren't that nice.
But look at that smile.
You could light up Chicago.
- You have this at the push of a button? - No.
You give these guys some notice, they can put on a show.
Second page, please.
Maxwell School of Diplomacy and International Relations.
Associate counsel, U.
S.
Delegation to the United Nations.
General counsel, U.
S.
Delegation to the United Nations.
General counsel for the United Nations.
You found out you can buy stuff with money.
Page three, please.
Partner, Whitcom, Wiley, Hawking, Harrison and Kendall.
Was there a Burt Kendall? Is his portrait hanging in the partners' dining room? - No.
- They're talking about you, right? - Wasn't my idea to add my name.
Raise the profile of the international law department.
A specialty in international law, you say.
Interesting.
Have you experienced dealing in matters that receive wide media coverage? - Let's take a trip to page four.
- You have a good time doing this, right? You don't even know.
Orlando Ruiz of the 101-mile-an-hour fastball and Cuban citizenship.
Richard White of Lackland Chemical and wrongful death I do not have experience with what you're talking about.
I don't have experience with what you're talking about.
Nobody does.
We're talking about we killed Shareef.
We put 14 bullets in his chest on an airstrip in Bermuda.
It's helpful to start saying it out loud.
-I'm sorry, Leo? - Yeah.
There's a message here from Harold Harrison saying there's about to be a decision from district court.
It's not what you think.
Come down here and show Miss Kendall out.
Excuse me.
Donna? Josh? - Josh? - Yes? I have to talk to you.
- I have to talk to you.
- Me first.
- Why's that? - It's important.
- Okay.
- Go ahead.
- You go.
- I'm perfectly fine waiting.
- I have the patience of an adult.
- 20 seconds.
Came to me in my sleep.
The paper was there when I got home.
Page two of the business section, there's an article about Redstar and the $35 million retention bonus they gave to - I can't remember his name.
- Wadkins.
So we all know that CEOs get bonuses that workers don't but in the sixth graph they talk about Congress ending deductibility of salaries over a million and that the measure excluded items the IRS deemed incentive-based.
In other words, the bonuses are tax-deductible.
In other words Wadkins gets 35 million for crashing the company and the company gets a deduction.
Toby, college costs investment in the future workforce, in innovation, in the ideas economy in crime reduction, isn't that a better use of capital than writing off the bonuses? The guy last night in the bar Matt Kelley the one who was taking his daughter to visit colleges he said it needs to be just a little easier.
Not a lot easier, a little.
Toby, every nickel spent on college tuition should be 100 percent tax-deductible.
Not capped and indexed and bracketed.
Every nickel, 100 percent.
What? That's exactly what I was gonna tell you.
No, it wasn't.
Exactly.
You're saying that now just to make it seem - I'm gonna make some time with Leo.
- And figure out how to pay for it.
- Good.
- Good.
- Hello.
- Hey.
- Did you sleep all right? - I did, but then I read this thing and - How you doing? - Good.
What's on for tonight? He'll meet with the state party chair.
Say energizing things.
- We in danger of losing Massachusetts? - No.
- Why am I doing this? - Because.
- I can't just go to the event? - No.
- Why? - Everybody's going to the campaign and we spent 20 hours getting out of Indiana.
- Who's at Rock the Vote? - Aimee Mann, Barenaked Ladies Chrissie Hynde, Sixpence None the Richer Diamondback Whale, Next Big Thing the Cruel Shoes and Single-Cell Paramecium.
You've been practicing for when I asked, right? - Yes.
- And you made up the Cruel Shoes.
- No, Single-Cell Paramecium.
- Okay.
The motorcade.
We're here! - Would you stop? - We're here! You know, everybody's really over that now.
Admiral Scott, your expedition's returned.
Look at you, Don Quixote de la Mancha.
- Don Quixote wasn't an explorer.
- No, but he rode around on a horse.
- You sleep? - I did better.
Keep it to yourself.
I need you to weigh in on Ritchie and Title IX.
- Yeah, I saw that.
I wrote a memo.
- Thank you.
Toby and I are working on tuition that would be one - Josh.
- They're back.
- They are? - Yeah.
- They being funny? - It's over.
- Barnum, Bailey and their sister, Sue.
- They're almost over it.
We wanna talk to you about an issue that should be in the campaign.
You know that district court is ruling on Sullivan? - V.
Commission on Presidential Debates? - Yeah.
- They're never gonna rule for him.
- Sullivan? Yeah, never gonna rule for him.
Suit gets brought all the time.
I wouldn't be concerned, but Justice Wingding heard the case.
- Wengland? He's not so crazy.
- Yeah? - Hey.
- We're back.
We're never leaving again.
- Your mother and I were worried.
- Me too.
Fellas? Tell him not to worry about the district court.
I told him.
They're not ruling for Sullivan.
- He's worried because it's Wengland.
- He's not that crazy.
I'm not that comfortable with a federal judge being even a little bit crazy.
- I'm going back to my office.
The speech to the teachers this morning? I have never seen anything like it.
You would have been proud.
- We're gonna win this election.
- I do know.
- Leo? - They ruled for Sullivan.
- They ruled for Sullivan? - Yeah.
C.
J.
, when you guys vet your judicial candidates, do you go so far as to meet and speak with them? - Can I see a copy of the decision? "The commission, a tax-exempt entity, is legally precluded from partisan politics of any kind.
The 15 percent rule benefiting two major parties is partisan politics of the worst kind.
Regulatory duopoly, democracy by favoristic fiat, a bureaucratic junta - Yes.
that's prohibited under federal law.
" There's no way"favoristic" is a word.
We agree with you but don't think it's grounds for appeal.
- We won't have to search high and low.
- This means what I think? No one can be excluded from the debates.
You can be excluded, but the bar is set much The Libertarian Party, Natural Law, Right to Life, Right to Left.
Republicans we're gonna probably let in.
The appeals process is gonna take too long.
We're gonna have to go to the Supreme Court.
Sam they can stay the effect in advance of appeal, right? - Yeah.
- You gotta get Ritchie's people to join us in the motion.
- Oh, yeah.
All right.
- Sam? - Yeah? I had a thought before, and Toby claims to have had the same thought.
- I showed you DNA evidence When Congress put the million-dollar cap on deducting salary they left a loophole for incentive-based bonuses.
Yeah.
Are not all bonuses incentive-based? Are there any bonuses you get just automatically? Isn't that called salary? Which is also incentive-based, by the way.
People wouldn't work without one.
- Sam.
- Come back to the pack? Why isn't college tuition Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? What if we capped it at 80,000? - You're really talking about this? - Yes.
Pay for it by closing the loophole for bonuses? Nobody's talked to OMB, but I think it costs 50 billion.
Closing the loophole is about 35 billion, am I close? - Yeah, and 15 billion's getable through - Yosh? - She's talking to me, right? - Yeah.
- I'm reading your memo.
- Memo? - Machismo manifesto.
- Title IX? - Oh, yeah.
- Bruno asked me to weigh in.
Can't imagine why he called on you.
I was asked, as a campaign issue, if we should reexamine Title IX which is a wedge with male voters in Ohio, Michigan and North Carolina.
- So are a lot of things.
- There's something fair but dumb about a fifty-fifty split when more men are interested in sports than women.
And don't cite the WNBA and soccer.
More men are interested in sports than women.
We don't need a study to tell us that, but if we did there's about 493 of them.
Will you talk to someone in Stackhouse's camp? - About the Sullivan decision? - Should make sure.
Court's gonna stay the judgment.
But if not, Stackhouse'll pass on the debate.
He's not out to kill.
He wants to keep him honest.
Make a courtesy call so we're not taking him for granted.
- I'll call Stackhouse.
Since Title IX, women's participation in sport has increased 800 percent.
- That's not a typo.
It worked.
- Okay.
- Hello.
- Yes.
- Okay, how was your day so far? - Very exciting.
- You had your security briefing? - Yes.
I'd like to go through your answers on the SF-86.
- Sure.
- Three years ago you were asked: "Have you ever been an officer, member or made a contribution to an organization dedicated to the violent overthrow of the government?" - You answered yes.
- Yes.
- You answered yes.
- I see where you're going with this.
- Do you? - I do.
While we respect your right to overthrow we don't respect your right to do it violently, nor from inside the Oval Office.
I worked in Personnel when I answered that.
I did it to demonstrate a problem with the form.
If the FBI wants people to admit to extremist tendencies they've got to tailor a more subtle question.
Like,"Have you ever participated in organizations that seek radical solutions to egregious social problems?" - I've had some experience with this.
- So has the FBI.
Is this gonna screw me up? Not this probably as much as when you suggested killing the president.
- I did not.
- Yeah, you did.
No, sir.
"Let's stick arsenic in President Bartlet's water and see if he delegates responsibility to World Bank then.
" Where it says"arsenic," that should read "Schweppes Bitter Lemon.
" - I don't know how that - Debbie.
Thirty-five million people in Bangladesh were drinking contaminated water.
The White House said they supported World Bank's efforts to address it but made no move to intervene independently.
I wrote a letter.
- The FBI read it as a threat.
- It wasn't.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- I'm not being ridiculous, Debbie.
I was, however, 4 feet away from him when the guns started firing.
I know.
I apologize.
Who can I talk to? I want this job, Charlie.
I didn't before, and I do now.
Who can I talk to? Let me find out.
- What else? - It's making rounds Governor Ritchie called the chancellor.
- What's wrong? - He's angling for an invitation to the memorial.
- He wants to speak.
- For the love of Mike.
Chancellor was with us in lowa.
The Ritchie people were saying allowing you to be national healer-in-chief Win or lose on the 5th, I'm the president right now, right? Yeah, I'm almost sure.
Six of the girls were exactly Zoey's age.
Tell the chancellor's office if it'll make his life easier, I'll sit in row 19.
You keep out the press.
This has to be about students and families.
Ritchie and I are gonna have to summon humanity to keep it from being a political event.
- Yes.
Good afternoon, Mr.
President.
- Claudia Jean.
- Sailor.
- In the Oval Office you've really - No.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
How'd you do with Jordan? She's a little wary, but she might be willing to go out again.
- But you meant the other problem.
- Yeah.
- She's a little wary.
- Yeah.
She's gone to her office, then going home for the day.
She's gonna think.
All right.
In the meantime, what do we have by way of stalling tactics? - A misinformation campaign.
- We ought to be good at that.
Sir, State feels Shareef was never comfortable with the sultan's friendly relationship with the West.
State thinks he had a friendly relationship with the West.
The one-eyed man is king in a world of Whatever.
We leak that Shareef used his U.
S.
trip as an opportunity to fly to Libya.
Shareef is now alive and well and living in Libya? And planning to overthrow his brother and install a fundamentalist regime.
All right.
Come back and tell me how we do it.
Yes, sir.
Blind men.
The one-eyed man is king in a world of blind men.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
- Special Agent Casper? - Yes, please.
- Good afternoon.
- What do you know? We say the manuscript was credible.
We ran a search using more of the unique rhetoric or catch phrases.
We found a match.
A lot was lifted off the website of a separatist group called the Liberation Cause.
A splinter of the Patriot Brotherhood.
The Internet has been a phenomenal tool for hate groups.
You should know we're working on some leads.
Don't pipe bombs usually kill just two or three people? - Yes, sir.
- How was it so many yesterday? The bombs were set off indoors, sir.
There was a huge fire.
- Anything else, sir? - No, thanks.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
Ten of those things under the bleachers at a basketball game? - They've got good leads.
- Okay.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
Charlie? - Yes, sir.
- In ascending order of age get my daughters on the phone, please.
- Yes, sir.
- Thank you.
I just tried Stackhouse again.
He hasn't returned? - Stackhouse is gonna be fine.
- I've called twice.
At 55,000.
Matt Kelley's in the 27.
5 percent bracket.
Assume he takes the standard deductions.
Let's forget mortgage payments.
- What's his tax liability? - 13,300.
Tuition at Notre Dame is 25,850.
Let's throw in books, room and board and it's $34,000.
Saying books are tax-deductible too, right? Beer should be tax-deductible, but we'll live to fight another day.
So with one kid in college Matt Kelley's tax liability just dropped from 13,300 to 3800? If we get this done, it'll be a good day's work.
Let's take it to C.
J.
when she gets off.
Barenaked Ladies, helping out in the delivery room of American democracy the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
Twenty-five years ago, half of all 18- to 24-year-olds voted.
Today it's 25 percent.
but only account for 7 percent of voters.
Government isn't about you? How many of you have student loans to pay? How many have credit card debt? How many want clean air and clean water and civil liberties? How many want jobs? How many want kids? How many want their kids to go to good schools and walk on safe streets? Decisions are made by those who show up.
You gotta rock the vote! - What's going on? - Casper's got something.
Mr.
President, three hours ago, sheriff's deputies in Johnson County, lowa were tipped off that several men in their 20s bought all the pseudoephedrine they could get their hands on.
Three stores they went to were owned by the same man.
- Allergy medicine? - That, with tractor starter fluid strained through a coffee filter, is meth.
Tractor starter fluid doesn't kill you? No, it'll kill you.
First you'll get pretty high.
The sheriff's deputies were shot at from the house.
These might be our guys? The address and name of occupants match a couple names we've linked to Patriot Brotherhood.
We have reason to believe they're connected to KSU? They're telling us they are.
They're also telling us they have MAC-10s, MP5s and CAR15s.
- Are there kids inside? - Yes, sir.
Let's get the director and the attorney general.
We only go in on my order, okay? lt'll be my order.
Yes, sir.
You just knew it was gonna end up like this.
- Good evening, Mr.
President.
- Allergy medicine and tractor fluid we're getting high on now.
- All right.
Getting strippers? - How do we do it? - Langley manufactures documents photographs, audio messages, even a body double if necessary.
- Is this gonna get ridiculous? - Absolutely.
We make sure agents in Iraq, Syria and Iran get a whiff of the story and word inside and outside the palace spreads.
- We'll see it on Aljazeera? - If we do our jobs.
No disinformation to U.
S.
press, right? We don't give disinformation to American press.
- Unless it's about my medical history? - Yes, sir.
- All right, let's go.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
All this posturing is a preamble to something.
You ready to say hello? Why not? - Hey, Jordan.
- Good evening, Mr.
President.
- What do you think? - I'm sorry, sir? What do you think? - I don't know.
- Yeah.
I have to tell you, I'm very uncomfortable knowing what I know.
That makes three of us.
- I haven't had any sort of time - Take all the time you want.
You done yet? You understand, domestically you're looking at possible injury to separation of powers internationally, a possible war crimes charge.
At the very least we'd be wading up to our necks into unprecedented legal waters exposing the presidency to culpability undreamed of by creators of the U.
N.
and the U.
S.
Constitution.
That makes us groundbreaking, doesn't it? Mr.
President, I've defended guilty people before but never had a client that was willing to admit the crime but didn't expect to go to trial.
- More groundbreaking.
Due respect, Mr.
President, this isn't funny.
Due respect, Ms.
Kendall I'm the last person to whom that needs to be pointed out.
And Article 51 of the United Nations Charter says every nation has the right to wage war to defend itself.
The article's incumbent on wars being declared.
Wars don't work like that anymore.
Laws work like that.
Forty-four people are dead in lowa and most of them college kids.
Shareef has murdered Americans in uniform, Americans out of uniform.
He tried to blow up the Golden Gate Bridge.
I didn't have time to file an amicus brief.
How can justice served in secret be justice? I don't know.
I'm working on that.
Anyway, at the moment I'm having trouble foreseeing the exact legal consequences on the international stage.
Why? Because most of international law doesn't exist yet.
Well, that's what I was hoping you'd say.
I want there to be justice.
That's why I'm talking to a lawyer.
Anyway, I just came in to say hello.
Charlie? - Yes, sir.
- I'm heading back to the residence.
- Do you have a moment for Debbie? - Oh, God.
Yeah.
- Good evening, Mr.
President.
- Arsenic? You gotta give me points for Nothing.
Nothing you can give me points for.
I don't get any points.
- No.
- I sincerely apologize.
It was a higher environmental cancer risk than Chernobyl.
We spend 20 million a year on strategic milk reserve.
We can't toss Why couldn't you just stop with"I sincerely apologize"? - I should have.
I see that now - Your argument is fakakta, by the way.
The World Bank has a $ 17 billion budget contributed by 100 Doesn't matter, don't worry.
-"Don't worry about it.
" - Yeah.
- I don't know what that means.
- You can keep the job.
Great.
Why? Why? Because you knock me out, that's why.
How did I do that? "Let's stick some arsenic in President Bartlet's drinking water and see if he delegates responsibility to the World Bank then.
" "President Bartlet.
" You referred to me and to the office with respect.
You're a class act.
- Thank you, Mr.
President.
- Wack job.
Yes, sir.
It's not the fault of women's sports, it's the fault of football.
- It's the fault of football? - Yeah.
Football pays for the other sports.
There are 53 players on an NFL team.
The University of Colorado has 130, I'm for backups and substitutes, but can't the guy who's fourth on the depth chart at right linebacker also be fourth at left linebacker? If a college football team cut back to 70 scholarships they'd be three deep at every position and have a fourth-string punter and place-kicker.
Fifteen scholarships.
That's a wrestling team.
Excuse me.
Hey.
- What are you doing up here? - I do some work for these guys.
- It's a great event.
- Yeah.
- You look good.
- Yeah? No, you look tired.
You look good.
Yes, I know.
Hey, did you? I heard you got left behind by the motorcade.
Yeah.
It took us 20 hours to get out of Indiana.
You should've been with us.
- You would've had fun.
- I would've.
I don't know what to say about the pipe bombing.
There's nothing to say.
- I miss you.
- I was trying to call Stackhouse - I'm sorry? - What did you say? - You said you called Howard? - I haven't heard back.
- What'd you say? - Calling about Sullivan? They're not returning my call.
I shouldn't be nervous, right? - No, you should be.
- Did you say you missed me? - Josh - I should be nervous? - We're considering -"We"? Stackhouse.
The district court says Howard Stackhouse can appear in the debates.
Is Stackhouse under new management? It's been For debate prep.
It's been offered to me.
This is not the deal we made with them.
In one week, he is supposed to endorse the president.
- He never thought he'd get in.
- He's not! So he's moving you from consultant to I don't know, it's all happening fast.
It's just today.
I'm considering it.
It wasn't the deal we had.
I miss you.
You gotta ask yourself multimillion-dollar bonuses are deductible, not tuition? Corporations donate to the members of tax-writing committees.
I didn't mean you really had to ask.
I knew you knew the answer.
Ritchie's already coming after us for politicizing the budget.
Plus, Leo hates to make policy through tax code because we can't do reform without unraveling it.
Was that Amy? Yeah.
If the Sullivan decision's upheld Stackhouse wants into the debate.
He's not gonna endorse the president.
- Had to see that coming.
- I'm calling Bruno.
Court's gonna stay the effect.
He won't be in the debate.
Josh'll take care of it.
- Anyway, college tuitions - Another reason not to do it There are a lot of reasons not to do it.
But we met a guy last night at an airport hotel in the bar.
His daughter was upstairs in the room.
They'd been looking at colleges.
He makes $55,000 a year.
His mutual fund got beat up yesterday on Wall Street.
He was so happy to be taking his daughter to colleges.
He came downstairs to the bar.
He didn't want her to see that he didn't know how he was gonna pay for it.
There are a lot of reasons not to do it.
But the president said, "There are two kinds of politicians" "Ones who try to say yes and ones who try to say no.
" We're gonna throw these guys out because they wanna say no.
If we're gonna get thrown out, I don't want it to be for that.
Let's take it to Leo.
Hello? - Matt? Matt? - Yeah? It's for you.
A man named Toby Ziegler.
You know him? Yeah.
- Hello? - Matt? It's me, from last night.
We got home fine, thanks.
Now, let me tell you what we're working on.